Seeing Grey
by Iggie
Summary: {Updated} At the battered age of thirteen, Remus Lupin is accepted to Hogwarts with the arrival of a new Headmaster. Surviving lycanthropy, the Underground werewolf community, the Marauders, and the arrival of the Dark, Remus is in for one rough fight.
1. Part I Wane

A/n- This is a really old one I dug up for your enjoyment. Review please! Any suggestions on how to continue would be appreciated.  
  
Disclaimer- I own nothing that you will recognize. Parts of the original side plot are of my creation, though all things Potter belong to Rowling and whoever else was lucky enough to get their hands in on the pot. o_O  
  
Rating- PG-13 for now, may rise to R because of my tendency to swear and insert random unpleasentness.  
  
  
Add one part Remus, one part humour, three parts angst, a slight dash of depressing life, shake thoroughly, and serve.   
  
  
_Dedicated to my friend Steve, who  
is a bastard for finding this :)  
  
Also dedicated in part to my friend   
who keeps me on my feet.  
Thanks for being there.  
  
  
  
NOT dedicated to the random   
asshole jerks who shouldn't be  
reading this. You know who  
you are. Now leave.  
  
  
_  
  
Seeing Grey - Part I - Wane  
  
  
  
  
A crash of lighting lit up the sky, illuminating the outline of a fast-moving figure in the streets. Cloak drawn over his entire body, the man stepped under a tavern doorway before slipping inside. Rain poured down without mercy outside, and a very sodden Remus Lupin sat down on a stool at the crowded bar.  
  
Hey, no kids in the bartender snapped as Remus lowered his hood. For thirteen he was very tall, strongly built and mature looking, but not close enough to count as legal.  
  
  
Mister, I have no where to go until the rain stops. I'm not drinking so what the hell's the problem?  
  
This place is fer payin' customers only. he said over the hustle as the crowd cheered. A television in the center of the bar revealed a Muggle soccer game that had the attention of most of the men. Many of them were yelling in drunken slurs, and shouting hysterically over a referee's call.  
  
Remus emptied his damp pockets, slapping down a few pound notes. The bartender peered at him for a moment, but pocketed the cash for himself. He smiled at the tattered, hooded boy and shrugged a little.  
  
May I have a soda, or some food? he asked after his stomach gave a violent lurch.  
  
We ain't got nothin' but steak and water, for you.  
  
Alright then. he replied, scurrying for enough money to pay the bill. A few minutes afterward a plate was shoved in front of his face, a less-than-perfect slab of meat and a cup of uniced water. Cautiously, he poked at the fork, and snatched his hand back quickly, sucking on the finger as though stung. Much to his luck, his actions were not noticed, and he slipped the sleeve of his cloak over his hand before touching the silver utensil again.  
  
Haven't eaten lately, eh? the man asked, wiping out a glass. Remus' face was already covered in sauce, and he was quickly and savagely devouring the small portion of meat.  
  
I'm just hungry. he mumbled, slowing down a little. Within minutes his meal was gone, and he was left to wait out the storm on his own. Reaching into his satchel, he pulled out a one of the few possessions he had brought with him, a small calender, and frowned.  
  
August 25th? How will I get there on time, it's been so hard this far... Remus mused. With a deep sigh he checked off another date on the calendar in red pencil.  
  
Hey, you a'right lad? one man asked, tapping him on the shoulder.  
  
Just tired... I've been traveling, for a while. he stammered. The old and slightly drunk man raised an eyebrow, and tilted Remus' chin up idly.  
  
You look kinda sickly, worn and beaten. Get in a fight or summin'?  
  
It was very true, and Remus knew it. Remains of scars lingered underneath his shaggy unwashed hair, and his eyes were shadowed with worry.  
  
No, I told you, I'm just tired. I haven't slept in a few days. The man mumbled something, and left as his team scored a goal and the crowd erupted into a fit of yelling all as one.  
  
  
Excuse me, mister? Remus asked, trying to get the bartenders attention once again.  
  
  
  
Do you know of any inexpensive Inns around here? I need a place to stay for the night.  
  
'Cho a runaway or sumthin? he asked hand teetering near the telephone for a moment.  
  
No sir, I'm visiting my mother, she's ill. I just need to bunk one night before I go visit her. he lied.  
  
Where at?  
  
South Georgetown Hospital, sir. Remus said nervously. The mans hand moved back to cleaning the glasses, and he looked convinced enough.  
  
The Green Dragon, righ' up the street. Sweet old granny runs the place, she'll give ya a room for free if you clean up after yourself. Remus nodded his head, and stood up.  
  
You ain't going out in that storm kid, are you? he yelled. Remus had already opened the door and stepped outside by the time he heard, and his only response was pulling his hood tighter around his face.  
  
Hello sonny, what can I do for you? A short odl lady, in her late eighties with the mass of gray hair to prove, smiled warmly as he walked inside the small Inn. Pulling down his saturated hood, he returned the smile and bit his lip.  
  
Can I get a room ma'am? I'll only stay for the night, I'm leaving very early and-  
  
Certainly sonny, no problem at all... No money I take it? she asked as he stepped up to the desk. Without waiting for a reply, she dug into a drawer and handed him a rusty gold key.  
  
Right up the steps, room twelve. If you need anything don't be shy to ask, I'll be up all night tending to the others. she pat him on the head, and pointed to the staircase.  
  
Thank you ma'am.  
  
Not a problem, not at all. Please don't be afraid to ask if you need anything.  
  
Climbing the creaky steps and fighting with a very old lock, Remus dragged himself gratefully into the fire-lit room. He threw his bag down in the corner, he sat on the edge of a neatly made bed and stared at the flame for a few minutes.  
  
Almost feels like a home. he mumbled, lying down and shutting his eyes. Brief images of his mother flashed before his face, and ones of his elder brother.  
  
All it needs is a family. Remus frowned to himself, trying to wedge out of the soaking cloak and sweatshirt.  
  
Not that I ever had one. he added. After an unsuccessful motion to wriggle free of his shirt and pants, he landed on the wooden floor with a thump.  
  
Stupid things. he grunted. Minutes later, he was lying with only his shorts under the thick quilted blanket, watching unsettling dreams of far off forests and a lone wolf.  
  
  
  
Hey! Hey, you get back here!  
  
Remus bolted off, grabbing frantically to gather his cloak. Turning down an ally, he jumped up to an old emergency escape ladder and plowed through a window to an abandoned apartment with his inhuman strength. Having an unnatural physique was the only advantage to werewolfism, he noted with a smile. He grinned, and peered over the edge of the window. Below, he heard the shouting of a town merchant and a few people he had rallied on the streets. Biting into one of his stolen fruits, he smiled in a guilty manner.  
  
Hey, you damn kid! Get your ass back here! he bellowed, looking around for the missing thief. Kicking at the dirt path, he turned around, swearing all the while as he returned to his produce stand.  
  
Hey, a guy's gotta eat. Remus told no one, starting on a banana.  
  
  
  
Excuse me? Hello, can you- Sir? Hello, do you- Excu- Hey, can you dir- Which way is- Remus jumped to the side as he was nearly flattened by a trolly of luggage. All around him people butted by, pushing their belongings and running about frantically, ignoring the lost boy entirely. He sighed, and looked at the ticket in his hand.  
  
Where the bloody is my platform? he mused, looking at the Platforms Nine and Ten signs in front of him. He was about to give up and go back to the streets, but a brief passage of conversation caught his attention.  
  
...We'll be killed this year without a decent Keeper. Bloody Slytherin's knock us off every year.  
  
Running to catch up with the band of trunk-toting oys, Remus tapped one black haired boy on the shoulder.  
  
Hogwarts, ai? You're kind of big for a first year, aren't you?  
  
Pete, mind your own damn business. the other black-haired boy snapped, blue eyes dancing. Sorry bout him, he's a right-o prat sometimes. he said. The first boy nodded, and led Remus through the platform to the Hogwarts engine.  
  
Well, he is kind of right, you are a smidgen tall for a firstie. he noted.  
  
I just moved in the area. he lied quickly, holding his satchel tight. The three boys gave him an odd look, but lost attention as their parents came to wish them goodbye. The first boy though, who Remus would learn was James Potter, stayed behind as the others hugged their relations and promised not to get expelled or kill any Professors.  
  
Where are your parents? James asked, stepping onto the train and taking a seat in the middle compartment. Remus stood at the doorway, looking out the window at all the families, and sighed.  
  
I don't really have a family in the manner you would expect. I live with my brother... he said quietly, beginning to go off for his own seats away. James grabbed him by the back of his torn and patched cloak, and pulled him down.  
  
Stay a while. he said with a shrug as the others came in with their trunks and brooms, one boy playing with a lost owl.  
  
  
So who are you anyway? the handsome boy asked.  
  
Remus Lupin. came the small reply.  
  
Well I'm Sirius Black. That's James Potter, and the stupid git to my left is Peter Pettigrew in all his idiocy. Sirius said with a smirk, playfully shoving the short, chubby brown-haired boy.  
  
Leave him alone Sir. James muttered, helping Peter regain his balance. A little voice altered them that the train would be departing, and that all belongings should be secured.  
  
Hey Remus, where's all you stuff? James noted, looking about for a fourth trunk or suitcase. Biting his lip, Remus tucked the satchel out of view, and acted as though he hadn't heard anything. James stared at it blankly, and raised his eyebrows.  
  
Where's the rest of it? he asked, looking again under the seats.  
  
That's all I have. he mumbled softly. For a moment the three other boys stared at him, but then decided it was none of their business. Sitting down, they waited as the train began to move, and heard they would be arriving at Hogwarts in approximately three hours.  
  
  
  
So, er, Remus... Why're you starting Hogwarts so late? James tried several minutes later as Sirius and Peter went off to chase down a few girls.  
  
I used to live in Canada, but my father died, so I moved back here with my elder brother. he lied, shrugging a bit. James just muttered an and looked around for something to do.  
  
Play any Quidditch? he asked after spotting his own broom above the seats, tucked away.  
  
Never have. Remus said shortly. The snack cart strolled in a few minutes later, and James eagerly bought a stash of candy and cakes. After all his travels, Remus was flat broke and just bit his lip.  
  
Cho wan' som'in? James said thickly, halfway through a pastry. Smiling slightly, he nodded his head.  
  
  
  
These are kinda good. he said ten minutes later, on his second bag of Every Flavor Beans and unwrapping a Chocolate Frog.  
  
Uh huh. Cho ave um b'fore?  
  
Not very often... We never have the money to buy sweets. he said, cheeks tinting red. James remained indifferent, and thought nothing of it as he swallowed his treat.  
  
When my parents died, they left me a whole lot of money. I've always had everything I wanted, so... If you ever want something, just ask. Don't worry about it. he assured. I'm loaded.  
  
  
  
Well anyway, are you going to Hogsmeade this year? You _are_ a third year, righ'?  
  
Yes, but I don't think I can go, exactly... I've had trouble with legal guardians lately, with the parent situation. he said, shuffling his feet a bit and gazing out the window at the passing landscape.  
  
Eh, Dumbledore'll let you go.  
  
Taking in a breath sharply, Remus simply nodded.  
  
  
  
This is such a mistake... I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't be making friends. They'll desert me, as soon as they find out...'  
  
Jamsie! Sarah wants to talk to you for a minute! Sirius had stuck his head back into their compartment, a pretty blonde giggling behind him. He shoved the sliding door open, and James dragged himself into the room full of gitty girls. He came back a moment later, face flushed, eyes locked onto his feet.  
  
Are you alright? Remus inquired quietly, nibbling on the remains of a Cauldron Cake.  
  
Oh? Hm? Me? Yes... Just fine. he said, still blushing furiously. Remus shrugged, and decided to catch up on his lost sleep.  
  
  
  
  
Hey, new kid... Wake up. Someone was shaking Remus, and he snapped back to reality. Wiping away a bit of drool, he gathered up his satchel and headed out the train into a flood of chaotic students.   
  
Find Dumbledore... he muttered to himself, remembering the directions. After much shoving and jumping, he managed to catch a glimpse the smiling elder. After a breif greeting, he was led off by private carriage to the school.  
  
  
Headmaster, sir, are you positive this is safe? he said after an uncomfortable moment. Dumbledore smiled, and nodded his head.  
  
We've taken every precaution to ensure the safety of the students. And of yourself... Do not worry, everything will be fine. Remus swallowed, hoping beyond anything that he would not let it slip.  
  
As long as I don't make any friends I'll be fine.' he reminded himself.  
  
I've alerted a few of the professors you will have this year, and the Infirmary is fully prepared to move you about every month. Kind blue eyes gazed into Remus', and he felt oddly optimistic about the whole situation.  
  
Now, on a more cheerful note. the Headmaster said, resting his hands on his lap. You are to be Sorted at the end of the first years, like a normal student. Which you are. he reminded. I wish you luck Mr. Lupin, and do try to make a few friends this year. From what Romolus tells me you are quite the lone wolf. He smiled warmly as the carriage stopped, and shuffled the boy out the door into the castle. He was greeted by a young, irritable raven-haired woman yelling at the first years to hush themselves. After a few odd glances and an explanation, he was following the mob of four-foot mages into the castle.  
  
I do hope this all works out. Dumbledore muttered thoughtfully as the gigantic doors closed themselves.  
  
  
  
Zalbash, Cameron!  
  
  
  
  
Remus choked on his breath, a cold sweat breaking out all over his face. As his name was called, and he walked forward, a ripple of whispers spread throughout the Great Hall. He caught James' eye, and looked away sharply as he sat on the stool, waiting for McGonnagal to give him the hat.  
  
Mr. Lupin is joining the third years, he moved in from Canada. she said shortly, placing the tattered headpiece over Remus' eyes.  
  
Ah, a werewolf?  
  
He nearly fell off the stool in fright. His eyes went blank, and his heart was threatening to tear through his flesh. Surely the school had all heard? But he noted with relief that no one was shouting, nor did anyone appear to be frightened. Peter Pettigrew, the shy bullied boy, even smiled up at him encouragingly.  
  
They cannot hear you. the hat whispered in his ear.  
  
Oh.' he thought, catching on to the mind tap.  
  
To be burdened with such a curse has given you much to debate. You have a strong desire to fit in at all costs, and would do well with Slytherin for that.  
  
That would be nice. Those boys wouldn't become my friends then, they couldn't find out about my problem.'  
  
But you have a great mind, and you're loyal to a fault. You could do well anywhere.  
  
Put me where I will have a lesser risk of being discovered. I have five years to go here, I do not need the extra risk.'  
  
I would say Slytherin, but they will destroy you if you ever were revealed. it mused. Or Hufflepuff; they would not hold grudge for what you are, they will stay true.  
  
Then put me there.'  
  
No, it would not work. You want to be with your friends, deep down. You need to. it said, smiling to itself.  
  
I want Slytherin, or Hufflepuff.'  
  
Are you prepared to take that risk? It will decide the rest of your life.  
Before Remus could think a protest or tell it off, the hat declared his fate.  
  
**  
  
  
  
  
A/n- Thanks for reading! If you leave a review, I PROMISE to read yours (as long as you're logged in). So REVIEW please, and I hoped you enjoyed the first chapter! All comments are welcome.  
  
**Iggie


	2. Part II Moonshine

A/n- Here's the second part, so... Enjoy! Any suggestions are totally welcome, and I would love to discuss future plot idea's. :)  
  
  
Disclaimer- I own absolutely nothing, so no bother suing me! Harry Potter and all related material are fully in possession of Rowling and co.  
  
Rating- PG-13 for now, may rise as I swear quite a bit.  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part II - Moonshine  
  
  
  
  
  
Remus Lupin shut his eyes, and removed the Sorting Hat from atop his head. Placing ti back on the stool, he walked slowly, as if on death sentence, towards the Gryffindors. A few were clapping, many were giving him puzzled looks, but he didn't see them. He only saw the cheerful eyes of three boys, sitting side by side and shoving someone away to give him a seat. This, this House, is where it would all end, he thought. This is where his life would shatter.  
  
  
Hey Remus, welcome to the Lions. James said with a smile, motioning for him to sit down. Ruefully he took the seat, and watched as Dumbledore took the stage.  
  
Hello students, my name is Albus Dumbledore... Headmaster Dippet unfortunately had to resign due to a few mental health issues.... he watched as a few older students cackled ot themselves, knowing perfectly well he quit because of the chaotic pupils.  
  
So I'll be taking over this year. he added as the laughter died down. There wont be any major changes, none at all I say. I'm just here to pretend I'm running things so the Ministry wont cut our funds. he smiled, and a few students returned the gesture.  
  
Seeing as none of you likely care about me or anything I'm saying, on with the feast!  
  
Remus' eyes danced as the food appeared. Smiling widely for the first in a long time, he took a slab of every kind of meat going around the table.  
  
Like steak do you? Sirius said, eyebrows raised high. In three minutes, he had already devoured more food than most of the seventh year boys would in three meals.  
  
Ish goo'. he said thickly, swallowing the rest of a large portion of ham.  
  
James said, shaking off an eerie feeling. After a long silence, James and Sirius began to make bets on how long the new Headmaster would last before the school drove him insane.  
  
I dunno, he is pretty tough. A ninety-two years going strong, and all the stuff about him in history books. I think he might stick around for a while... Peter offered.  
  
Yeah, well, what would you know? You sit around all day with your nose in old war books like another's about to happen. No sense of reality. Sirius snapped, frowning. I say a year, tops. He's old and likely to get tired of us real quick.  
  
You're on. James declared, shaking to confirm the bet.  
  
When do we get class schedules? Remus asked after whooping down his fifth serving of meat.  
  
Tomorrow morning most likely, if we have classes. Last year they gave us an extra day off, Dippet was sick or something.   
  
No you prat, he was in the hospital, ulcers again! Sirius reminded.   
  
Remember? We caused them... At the Welcoming Feast we cursed the Slytherin's-  
  
Alright alright, I remember... Peter mumbled. He rolled his eyes, and went back to poking at his dessert with a solemn face.  
  
  
Anyway, what classes did you sign up for? James asked as they started the trek to the Gryffindor tower.  
  
Divination and Ancient Runes. he said after a moment of thought. It had seemed so long ago that the owl had brought news that he would be able to join Hogwarts.  
  
Ah man, the two worst classes! Why didn't you take Care of Creatures? It's a blow away, all you have to do is feed a few little winged rats-  
  
And risk getting your hand bitten off. Peter interjected.  
  
Shut up Pete, what would you-  
  
Sirius, leave him ALONE! James yelled, startling a pack of nervous first years in front of them.  
  
Animals don't really like me... Besides, I'm a whizz at Runes. My brother Romolus really liked it, so I studied all his books since I could remember. Remus replied a while later as the question was brought back up.   
  
Romolus Lupin? a very tall boy nearby asked, over-hearing.  
  
  
  
Cool. Didn't know he had a little brother...  
  
James and Sirius went on about various professors to watch out for for a while, but he didn't hear most of what they said. He was too busy letting everything sink in, soaking up every detail of the school and its appearance. His entire life he had dreamed of coming here, knowing he couldn't. Dumbledore had made it possible.  
  
So just make sure you don't piss him off. Sirius concluded, stopping as the Fat Lady allowed them to enter. Remus crawled inside, a visual hunger, and just stood, amazed at what he saw.  
  
Come on you stupid git, we have to get our things unpacked. said Sirius, pulling him by the back of his robes up a spiral staircase into a magnificent dorm.  
  
This... This place is amazing! he said aloud.  
  
It's nothing. James mumbled, accustomed to his very rich house. But for a boy who had grown up on the streets of poor villages and in the beds of strangers, a true place of his own was a dream come true. Dropping his satchel at the foot of the empty bed, he smiled very wide, and remained standing in a daze. After a few minutes, another boy came in, and introduced himself as Alex Avery. Remus smiled politely, and shut his eyes.  
  
I swear to God I wont mess this up Rom, I can't.'  
  
  
  
_Rom,  
  
Sorry I didn't write earlier, I didn't have access to any owls during the travel. I made it alright and I barely had to steal anything, so no worry. Hogwarts is magnificent, it's everything you said it would be! And I think I might have a few friends now, much as the thought frightens me. I'm going down to Hogsmeade tomorrow to get a few things, they gave us an extra day, or so a Prefect told us a bit ago. I'll write to you when I can, I have to go. Some of the boys are playing a game and it sounds really fun.  
  
Seeya,  
  
Rem._  
  
He tucked the note into his breast pocket, and hopped the staircase into the Common Room. Since the classes had been canceled tomorrow so Dumbledore could hold a staff meeting, the entire Gryffindor house was having a sort of party, beverages and snacks going around like an epidemic. Remus was partially less cheerful than the other Gryffindors, as he knew the staff meeting was about his lycopanthy. But he was intrigued by the game James and his friends were playing nonetheless. A small band of pajama clad boys were gathered in a circle, playing what they dubbed Exploding Snape' after a very unpopular Slytherin boy in the third year.  
  
What'd he do to deserve such an entertainingly evil fate? Remus asked, smiling as the little figure of a black haired boy blew up in a bout of miniature flame.  
  
He's a stupid git. All Slytherin's are prats. Sirius said shortly, biting his tongue and planning his next move. The game was a bit like chess, with each boy commanding various models of old Aurors and hero mages, while they opposed a rike of Snapes.  
  
he asked in complete naivety.  
  
They just are. Sirius mumbled, annoyed at his lack of knowledge on the subject. Peter did a trademark roll of his eyes, and wiped his glasses free of smoke and ash from the exploding figures.  
  
They're really... Well, to put it nicely, they're bastards. Complete bastards. he tried, frowning. Every one of the lot ends out evil or killing someone. General rule of thumb you'd be wise to follow... he advised. Don't get in their way. They'll do anything to get what they want, and I wouldn't trust them with the time of the day. Peter said, as the Gryffindors all nodded. Except, Remus noted, James. He was fidgeting slightly, looking down at his feet in an uncomfortable manner. Remus himself felt slightly insulted, as he had not a few hours ago begged to be put into Slytherin and had almost been placed so.  
  
Hey, they aren't all bad... James said in a voice so quiet no one heard. Remus thought none of it, and merely memorized the game strategy of Exploding Snape for a few moments. After three rounds, he offered to take hand as King James, to the amusement of many. They laughed, thinking there was no way a novice could take the role as King. They were soon coughing up numerous Sickles and various treats as the werewolf smiled his content at winning six straight rounds, capturing all but one Snape.  
  
Some kind of genius... Sirius whispered to James. They smiled to themselves, and raced off to a corner for a rushed conversation, coming back again as though nothing had happened. Peter groaned, and rolled his eyes once more.  
  
What are they doing? asked Remus as James and Sirius began to cackle maniacally about something.  
  
Plotting. Plotting a plot that will in the end result in me having a detention to clean the dungeons. he moaned, shaking his head.  
  
They _always_ get me in trouble! Sometimes I seriously regret ever saying hello to them first year. You should take my advice and start hanging out with Alex Avery... He never gets in trouble. Peter said with a scowl.  
  
I take it they're the resident pranksters? Remus concluded after a moment of Peter rambling on about various mishaps.  
  
he blurted out all at once, scaring is King off the board.  
  
God, all they _do_ is pull pranks! And they seldom get way with it. I don't mind the jokes, half the time I have a bit of fun helping out (If they let me), but I'm sick of having so many detentions. I can't get my homework done, I never have time to do it all when I'm cleaning whatever classroom any given night. said Peter with a mournful, regretting face. He moved his King back into play, but frowned even deeper as Remus made one quick move and ended the game without his assistance.  
  
How'd you catch on so fast? a boy asked quietly from behind. A pack of seventh-years were gathered around, curious at the new Grand Master Snape Destroyer.  
  
Remus tried as they sat down across him at the table.  
  
Here, let me get _my_ set. I made the Snapes a tad cleverer (untrue to reality I'm afraid) so you wont win. This is a kiddy set, no wonder you're good.  
  
Ten minutes later, Remus' pocket was growing considerably heavier by the moment as Sickles and even a Galleon were being waged against him winning one more match. But as it turned out, no one could produce an infantry of Snapes intelligent enough to evade his miniature bombs and curses.  
  
Alex Avery mumbled, the clock behind them all striking out three in the morning. James and Sirius finally came back, with identical stupid grins plastered on their faces, a few minutes later. By four o clock in the AM, Remus decided he should get some sleep.   
  
His friends didn't come into the dorm for a very long time, and Remus could have sworn he heard a very healthy riot going on downstairs that involved his name.  
  
  
  
Yes? How.... the shop tender trailed off, tutting to herself. Motioning for Remus to stand up on a box before he had the chance to ask for the secondhand department, he just shrugged, figuring his Snape winnings could afford him some decent clothes for the time being. A few minutes later and his shabby cloak was tucked inside a box, a much nicer one about his shoulders.  
  
Hey, that looks helluva lot more Gryffindor. Sirius said with an approving nod, fingering the silver lion clasp at the throat of his new cloak. Remus swallowed tight. He had forgotten to request bronze clasps.  
  
And I'm going to have helluva time getting it off.' he thought wearily.   
  
After a drink of butterbeer in The Three Broomsticks, Remus and Peter were dragged off to an odd-looking store titled Zonko's that had a grand opening sign hanging high above. Some time later they were shoving through a crowd to get inside. James and Sirius' eyes lit up upon entering, and they dashed off.  
  
Oh no... Oh Lord, I'm going to be _expelled_! Peter whined, putting down a box of Self-Light Rocket Pops. To himself only, Remus snickered in a very evil sort of fashion. It was oddly satisfying to see Peter so generally, well, mad.  
  
I'm gonna go for a bit of a walk. he said after buying a few Dragon Dung Stink Bombs with his Snape winnings and stuffing them in his satchel. The chubby Gryffindor moaned about detentions with Carlison, and went off to be depressed by himself.  
  
  
With a heavy sigh, Remus gazed at the small brown shack that was built just for him a ways beyond the line of Hogsmeade view. He was sitting atop a cabin roof, chin on his knee's, as he had done so often in his travels.  
  
Rom, you wouldn't believe this place. he muttered aloud, looking even further away at the Whomping Willow, as Dumbledore had called it.  
  
All these measures just to make sure I don't kill anyone else.' he thought to himself, sliding towards the edge of the roof.   
  
In a graceful, practiced motion, he hit the ground softly without taking any shock to himself. For a while he just walked about in the afternoon sun, enjoying the comforting thought of having a steady place to stay for a while. Back at the outskirts of the main shopping village, he saw someone he immediately recognized as the model for Exploding Snape. Or at least he thought it was Snape, but it couldn't be, he thought. Snape, who he knew from the Gryffindors, was a slimy bastard that didn't care one way or another for anyone. And here the boy was, helping a pretty redhead out of the mud. Certainly she wasn't a Slytherin, so he didn't immediately understand the kindness from such a supposed bastard.  
  
A second later he felt guilty, ashamed of himself. He had been under the horrible cruelty of being treated by werewolf standards since he was a child; always judged before anyone knew him. And here, he was doing the same thing. Creating false illusions of a boy he hadn't ever spoken to before.  
  
he said quietly, holding out his hand. The Slytheirn looked at him oddly, a dirty frown on his pale face. He shook Remus' hand after a moment, and left promptly.  
  
Oh, don't mind Severus, he's in a sour mood. the girl said hastily. She smiled warmly, and brushed a few mud patches off her blue jeans.  
  
I'm Lily. she said by way of introduction. You're the new Gryffindor, aren't you? she asked curiously, trying to find her wand in the puddle of murky water. After a quick cleaning spell, she began to walk with Remus, chatting idly for a while.  
  
Are you friends with James Potter? Oh, that's nice. He's kind of a jerk sometimes, not mean, but... Insensitive. He's rather ignorant to most things, used to give me the impression that he was a shallow-minded Quidditch fool. Remus snickered, having thought the same thing within an hour of meeting his friend.  
  
I haven't seen you around, at breakfast or whatnot. Are you a Hufflepuff... Or Ravenclaw? Lily went scarlet, and suddenly remembered she had to leave and get a birthday present for her sister.  
  
So she is a Slytheirn. he said quietly. Before he had time to put any serious thoughts through his mind, the terrible trio came up from behind and nearly scared him into a bucket of dragon manure.  
  
Eh, Remmie, what's happening? Sirius said happily, arms loaded with bags of plots and pranks waiting to be executed.  
  
Can you not call me that? My mother used to when I was little... Bad memories. he said shortly. Sirius bit his lip, and shrugged off the icy situation with a offered bag of Every Flavor Beans and asorted chocolates.  
  
James said you liked them, so I picked up a few with my allowance. Not to imply that I'm not already nine months in debt... he said with a smirk, handing the treats to a stunned Remus. Sirius mistook the look for disgust, and shuffled his feet.  
  
They aren't Vampire Pops of anything... We don't prank among ourselves, with the exception of Peter-  
  
  
  
Peter, don't even start a fight- James grabbed both of them by their robes, rolling his eyes.  
  
Thank you. Remus gapped out, devouring a chocolate pumpkin in one bite. They boys laughed at his antics, and walked along merrily back to the Three Broomsticks to challenge the Ravenclaw's to Exploding Snape to win back their prank spending. Or, as Remus would find out, _he_ would win it back _for_ them.  
  
  
Cough it up. James said with a cocky tone to his voice, holding out his money bag. A very angry Ravenclaw boy dumped out his candy cash, and walked away with a crowd of displeased Housemates.  
  
Here, you probably need it. James said, handing Remus two of the Galleons. For the first time in his life, Remus felt an equal, someone just part of the crowd'.  
  
he muttered weakly, smiling.  
  
Oi! Rosy, s'more butterbeers! Sirius yelled. In pure content and a state of bliss, Remus drank the brew with a light heart and a free mind, something he had lacked for many years before.  
  
  
  
Do you play chess? Alex asked after Hogsmeade had lost its appeal after so many hours. Remus shook his head, only remembering that pawns captured diagonally and the way in which a knight could moved.  
  
Want to learn? he asked. They sat down across each other on the floor, the three other third years off in the corner conniving strange plots with evil cackles. For a long while Remus sat, watching Alex explain everything and show him what could move where. And to the great amusement of them both, it took less time to master chess than it had to win Exploding Snape.  
  
You're something else, you know that Remus? Ssome kind of prodigy or something... Alex said with a laugh as his queen was taken again.  
  
I've always been lagging behind in everything, I never went to proper school, so had to teach myself from books. he said honestly, twirling a rook before placing it. he added.  
  
And so I had to memorize things, all the time. It comes in handy, so I'm not really complaining. said Remus. He recalled a few memories of having to memorize entire street maps and town layouts so he could steal things and find clever places to hide or fast escape routes.  
  
Yeah, well I wish you best of luck, in classes and all. You're gonna get hell from all the Professors, being the new kid and all. We had a transfer from Beauxbatons, and God did that lad get it hard. He quit, went to a private school instead.  
  
Thanks for the optimistic, motivating advice. Remus mumbled sarcastically, placing Alex's king on a run.  
  
I didn't mean it like _that_. Just, well, you have to be a really steel-willed and intelligent person to last against our staff. Gryffindor doesn't get that many of those, let _them_ be breathing proof. he said with a snort, jerking his thumb at James and company. Remus smiled, and won his fourth chess match in a manner of minutes.  
  
Ok, new game. Any good at Quidditch? he tried, zooming the chess pieces into a box across the room.  
  
D_efinitely_ not...  
  
All the better for me. he said, standing up on his chair.  
  
OI! Anyone up for hitting the Quidditch pitch? he shouted above the clatter. A roar of approval rang out, and an entire mass of Gryffindors scrambled to their trunks to snatch up a broom and robes.  
  
  
  
Thank God he sucks at something. James said with an approving nod as Remus was almost killed by a Bludger. He landed, shaking considerably, pale white with a scratch across his cheek from the sharp Snitch.  
  
I definitely don't like Chaser. he said in a quivering voice. The two raven-haired boys smirked, both star members of their House team.  
  
Is there... Something else I can play? he wondered briefly, contemplating whether or not to give up altogether.   
  
Eh, sure. Our Keeper graduated last year, maybe you can fill his shoes. We only have a month to look for a new one. That twit playting now is a load of dragon dung. Sirius reminded, nodding his head. After a brief lecture on the position, Remus was in the air again on a borrowed broom, shaking quite noticeably. But as the Quaffles came flying at him he didn't feel the same fear. This was strategy, something he could do as easily as breathing or blinking. He called a time-out, and smiled as the oversized Quidditch team gathered around, the mix of Gryffindors and Ravenclaw's looking on from afar curiously.  
  
Do you guys ever run plays?  
  
Hell no, one girl snorted. We've always relied on brute force and natural talent.  
  
Yeah, namely James and Sirius. the other Beater said with a grin. Both boys shrugged modestly, thoroughly enjoying all the attention.  
  
You need a Keeper, right?  
  
they said, eager to get back to the game.  
  
I can't guarantee that I'll have any skill what so ever in stopping goals, but I can say my plans would keep it from ever happening. Give me a chance and I'll work out enough Beater work so I never have to try and stop a shot.  
  
The team thought for a moment, going off in a private conversation. They came back looking skeptical, but willing to try.  
  
Give us a preview of some plays and we'll think about it. James said.  
  
Besides, the only other good Keeper in Gryffindor is a tiny little fourth year girl that's too slow a flyer to cover all three hoops. Sirius added honestly.  
  
Alright. James, find the damn Snitch. New guy, don't suck. the captain said. With that, the team rose back into the air with an entirly different game style in store.  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Thanks for all the reviews! If I keep getting them this thing might actually stay in business, I usually tend to abandon things half way through. o_O Keep the reviews coming!!!**


	3. Part III Moonrise

A/n- Part III is now in service. Leave a review and I'll read your stuff, promise!  
  
Disclaimer- I own nothing other than a small stock of soda and a few Japanese comics. Warner bro.'s and Rowling own all related Potter type things and Hogwarts (in all its glory). o_O  
  
Rating- PG-13 to be safe, I have swearing outbreaks when I'm in a foul mood. Hehe....  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part III - Moonrise  
  
  
  
  
Loop under, and take out the Bludger on your left! Aim for the Center, a little right of the mid-mark! Remus yelled, eagerly gripping at his broom handle. He smiled, and let out a triumphant yell as the potential threat dropped the Quaffle and zoomed off course. One of Remus' teams Chasers scored a brilliant goal on recovery, one more for the them following soon after.  
  
That makes it thirty-seventy James! Find the Snitch! he yelled. But twenty minutes later the game was still going on strong. For the other team.  
  
Don't catch the Snitch! Remus bellowed as they came behind by one hundred fifty points. James cursed as he flew by, angry with himself.  
  
Alex, Aaron, try and double team the Seeker!  
  
What good'll that do us? They'll score if we aren't playing-  
  
Just trust me! The Beater and Chaser mumbled something, and went off to guard the Ravenclaw boy by command. With a heavy heart, he saw the Seeker fly away from them, and neither of the two made an attempt to follow. But Gryffindor pulled back in, each very angry at Remus for not keeping goal well, but determined to win.  
  
Sirius, come here a minute. he said, an idea flashing. After a hushed argument, Sirius went of with an evil grin, Beaters club raised high. In a flash of wood, he sent a loose Quaffle, and nearly an opposing Chaser, way out of range. Back swinging perfectly with timed precision, he hit both Bludgers out towards the Seeker and Center Chaser. One of his won Chasrers got the Quaffle, and put them in winning position.  
  
Good one! James yelled.  
  
The brief distraction of hunting down the Quaffle again was all Sirius needed to clue James in on the Snitch, resting at the corner of the field. In a daring dive, he went headfirst towards the ground, and almost crashed before pulling up, golden Snitch in hand.  
  
  
  
I dont know Remus, that was a pretty close game and Slytherin's one tough team. a seventh year Chaser, Aaron Orvis, said as they walked back to the school muddy and wet.  
  
Cut him some slack, he's never played before. James defended, Sirius nodding slightly.  
  
And anyway, Alex said, kicking a little stone along as he went on. All we do is go on a rampage with the Bludgers, whacking whoever is closest to us. We've never had strategy since Corom left for Germany. A few plays wouldn't kill us.  
  
Fine fine... he mumbled after long consideration.  
  
He can play second string until he develops even a tiny bit of skill, which he doesn't have as far as I'm concerned. the burly boy said with a nod of his head. And he isn't playing game until then. Agreed?  
  
Remus said, smiling nervously.  
  
Then let's hit the showers.  
  
  
Showers turned out to be another challenge for Remus, as all the taps were silver. He lucked out in the end, as someone left their water running and he just stepped in, leaving it when he was finished. With a sigh, he tossed on his pajama pants and sat facing his bed, scribbling out a letter to Romolus about his Quidditch expedition. He also wrote himself a note to get the House Head to change at least one tap for him.  
  
Hey Remus, what're all those cuts on your back? Peter asked as he walked by. Cursing to himself, Remus mentally told himself off, and quickly turned around, though it wasn't any better. Thin white scars were all over his body, mark of claws when the moon came full, and he couldn't help but scratch himself. Others were claims left by his father.  
  
I had an accident with a thorn bush when I was eight. he lied, thinking it would be enough of a cover-up. Peter and Sirius took the explanation alright, but James peered a little longer. After a moment, he shrugged, and Remus let out a silent heave of thankfulness.  
  
_I can't keep this up forever._ he added on the note, and signed his name with a messy flourish.  
  
  
  
Defense Against the Dark Arts. Where's that? Remus asked at breakfast. He had been overly cheerful that morning upon discovering Dumbledore's slight help to him. The silver forks and plates had been replaced, he noted, by a brilliant gold set instead. Dumbledore must have seen him pulling sleeves over his hands so he could eat safely.  
  
We all have it first too, so just follow us. Sirius said, swallowing the rest of his bacon. The two boys tore Peter away from a bowl of cereal, and James kept pointing out rooms all over the school as they made trek to the third floor. As people went by, he would give a slight commentary- who was famous for what, who not to be friendly towards, who to suck up to, that sort. But as Severus Snape went by, Remus smiled at him slightly. His friends were appalled.  
  
That's _Snape_. Peter said with a frown. He's the bastard from-  
  
He isn't that bad. I saw him helping a girl out of the mud at Hogsmeade.  
  
Probably just pushed her in. Sirius said in an undertone. The argument was left unsettled as they reached the half-full class, and took their seats.  
  
Professor Carlison was not a very cheerful looking man. His left eye had a scar running through it, if he shut his lid it made a straight line. He had on a permanent scowl, one that contrasted with what Remus thought were kind blue eyes. A messy top of blond hair streaking grey, he looked like the perfect Muggle war veteran at fifty. In his left hand, he held a clipbord, and Remus noted his little finger was missing.  
  
Would a Mr. Lupin please come up here? he asked, looking down at a list he held. Remus dragged himself up to the front desk, and was handed a thick packet of papers.  
  
You are to complete this to the best of your ability. he said quietly, not letting any of the other students hear. I need to know where you stand in this class, and if you are even capable of joining it.  
  
he replied, looking up briefly.   
  
The Headmaster does not teach this class, he has nothing to do with it. Complete the packet.  
  
  
Here sir, I'm finished. he said quietly, twenty minutes later. The rest of the class was copying notes from textbooks, while Remus had been taking his little test of sorts. Professor Carlison took it with a grin, revealing a gold tooth, thinking he hadn't known half the material. Upon glancing it over very briefly, however, his smile flickered.  
  
You may return to your seat. he mumbled, setting the papers down.  
  
Alright class, whatever you did not finish from the book will be homework. The class let out a small groan, and shuffled as they got heir things together.  
  
And Mr. Lupin, you will be doing this. he said, floating a very thick, small-print book over to him. Stunned, he gapped open mouth at it, then at hsi instructor.  
  
Sir, with all respect, you didn't have time to review my work. You can't assign me extra work-  
  
And in what position are you to tell me how to teach my class? he barked. Remus swallowed, took the book and assignment sheet, and turned to leave.  
  
And I expect you to complete all the regular homework in addition to your catch-up work.  
  
  
  
There is no discussion. he said flatly as Remus was the last to exit, fuming.  
  
  
  
What's wrong? Peter asked, looking up from his textbook as they walked off to Transfiguration.  
  
That bastard gave me an entire extra book full of essay-questions to do by the end of the quarter! Remus blurted out, looking at the monstrous book closely for the first time.  
  
Dealing with Dark Creatures, he read with a sinking heart. Opening the book, he found chapter one to be on Dealing with Werewolves- An Introductory'.  
  
he said in disgust, his friends trying to reassure him that he could tell Dumbledore to get let off.  
  
Look, I'll just do it and shut him up. He isn't going to relent. Remus snapped. He understood why he had the work, even if he had passed the entry exam with a perfect score he would have it. It was because he was a werewolf, and Professor Carlison had been one of the few to have been informed as such. Ability or not, he would have to do the extra work.  
  
I can use some practice anyway, it wont kill me. Besides, I like Defense. he lied to get James' nagging to lay off.  
  
  
  
  
_Remus,  
  
Quidditch? My dorky little brother playing Quidditch? HA! Not to sound so as rude and all, but... Excuse me, I need to go laugh endlessly for a bit... Well, anyway, I hope everything is going alright. And good news! I found a job at the pub, so I'll be able to pay you back for the summer jobs you took up for rent. A little longer and I'll be able to get an apartment and move out of Shelly's place. But anyway, how are things going? Did you piss any of your Professor's off yet? Oh, dammit, I knew I forgot to warn you about one. Bastards name is Carlison, NEVER get on his bad side. Old war hero, lost a bit of his humanity out on the battlefield. Stay quiet and never talk back.  
  
_Bit late for that. Remus snorted, eating his dinner slowly as he finally got a chance to read the letter. After whooping down a large portion of steak, he sat back, and continued to scan for any good news.  
  
  
_I hope Dumbledore's treating you alright, we've been talking on and off lately. He seems really worried about you Remus, don't know what in hell you did to worry that old genius. Just don't stress, seriously. I can take care of everything back home, the police wont find me, and I have a job now. I'm the parent, so... Bugger off. Heh, just relax. Have fun, and make some friends. I have to go to work, so I'll write to you later.   
  
Seeya Moony.  
  
  
_With a small sigh, he glanced up at the top of the letter. Romolus had drawn a small circle, shaded halfway, with a fifteen next to it. It was na old code he had established when they were always away, a simple reminder for Remus as to what phase the moon is in and what day it would hit Full. When they were young, a few months after he had been bitten, their father left. Mrs. Lupin was heartbroken, and held a sort of grudge against Remus for running her husband away. The family was ripped in two, Romolus going with hsi father, Remus staying with his mother. And old pet owl was the only way they had communicated for several years, until their lives were once again flipped up side down.  
  
Hey Remus, c'mon, we have to get to Divination. James reminded, the other two parting for Magical Game Care. Remus was amazed at how James could move about the school so expertly, taking hidden tunnels and back ways that he never would have guessed existed.  
  
And ta-da! James said proudly, displaying the stepladder. Cowering back, Remus' eyes went wide, and he swallowed.  
  
I just remembered... I forgot something. he said suddenly, shaking off the look james was giving him. With a shrug, the other boy climbed the silver prongs and into the nearly empty Divination room. Checking that no one was behind him, Remus dug into his pockets, and found an old pair of dragon-hide gloves he had stolen years ago for such occasions. Even the protection of fabric over his hands wouldn't be enough to keep the silver from hurting him, so the gloves suited the purpose enough. Slipping them out of view, he took a seat at a small round table with James and flipped through his secondhand textbook carelessly. It wasn't until Remus began playing around with the crystal ball placed as a centerpiece did anything notable happen.  
  
  
  
_Rom! Rom, come back here! No father, don't take him away, I- A sharp blow to his face sent to seven year old to the ground, crying endlessly. he watched in emotional turmoil as his brother was dragged away, kicking and screaming, into the blue pickup his father drove. And in an instant, he was gone. A cold hand held Remus to his feet, and he sobbed into the pastel flowers of his mothers dress.  
  
He took Rommie! Make him come back Ma, make father bring him back! he wailed, eyes leaking.  
  
Stop your crying, it does no good. his mother said in a stern voice, quivering in her own troubles. You will see him again later.  
  
I wanna see him NOW! Remus shouted as he was carried into the kitchen. Mrs. Lupin handed him a wet cloth wrapped over ice, and he held it to his swelling eye, stifling his sobs.  
  
When're they coming back? Rom has ta get his stuff if he's leaving. he said, accepting immediately that his brother was going away for a long while.  
  
They may not be here again for a long time. And you have to do your chores, the field needs done by tomorrow. she reminded in a dry voice, changing the subject.  
  
No, he's gonna come back for you. Remus whispered to himself, eyes flushing with anger.  
  
  
_Whoa, snap out of it. James shook him by the shoulders, and Remus nearly hit him across the face in memory of his father roughing him up.  
  
Sorry... Drifted off. he said with a shrug, watching as a pack of Hufflepuffs climbed up to join them all. He noticed the Professor, a mousey looking woman with a mass of brown frizzy hair and small glasses, staring him down.  
  
We will be starting the curriculum with beginners crystal ball gazing. she said after a long lecture on the gift of Sight and such. Remus couldn't shake the feeling that she was peering into the very core of him, and the feeling lasted until the end of class. Everyone piled out, but he stayed behind, making excuse of asking for another textbook to read.  
  
You are troubled. Professor Mendell said airily, putting a hand on his back as the last person made their way out the trapdoor.   
  
One with such a talent always carries a burden.  
  
I don't have any talents. Remus said shortly.  
  
Oh, but you do dear child. Many. You just do not know of them, but you will in time. Come next week and you will.  
  
And what is so prominent about next week? he asked, turning around. Her swirling blue eyes sighed at him, and she shook her head.  
  
The coming of age for a werelad is an important date, had you not known? Ah, I see... Well you shall know in due time.  
  
  
  
Yes Mr. Lupin?  
  
Would it be so much a trouble to get a new stepladder? It's difficult, for me to climb... he mumbled.  
  
Oh, so sorry dear, but Silver is a favourite of the Auraons, to change it would drive them away. You will make due. she said in a sure tone, as if she knew every move of his life in advance. He rolled his eyes behind her back, and carefully went down the ladder.  
  
  
  
God, how in hell does he do that? A burly boy, seventh year and seemingly far too large for it, slammed his fist down on the table in anger. It cracked on the force, and Remus scooted his chair away. A bet on Exploding Snape had gone awry, and he now faced the wrath of a Gryffindor with too much pride just lost.  
  
Dias, calm down. one of his friends yelled, used to his fits after seven years. The words did not stop his fist from colliding with Remus' face, and in a short moment, a terrible fight broke out. But Jordan Dias was soon slumped against the wall, eye swollen and face bruised with only one hit from the smallish looking third year. Dozens of eyes stared openly at Remus, who was hunched over in the center of the Common Room, hands at his sides. Without saying anything he left for the showers, James, Sirius, and Peter lagging behind him.  
  
What the hell did you do? James asked over the pour of the water one shower away. Remus was smiling, pleased with the gold tap that was newly installed, and went on talking. The layout of the bathroom, just little cubicle-like borders around faucets- made it very easy to uphold many conversations while bathing. They all took advantage of this as everyone else stayed out.  
  
Hit him, Remus said simply, squirting a bit of shampoo into his hair.  
  
Yeah, but Jesus, he's a giant! he heard Sirius exclaim in awe. Hell, he's roughed up a bunch of Slytherin's. Where'd you learn to fight like that?  
  
Remus winced as memories of brutal lashings flooded back to him, the water seemingly to sear away his skin at each drop.  
  
  
  
  
_Greg, get out of here! You know what day it is! Mrs. Lupin warned, trying to keep her husband out of the house. He wedged his way in, shoving her aside roughly. She screamed at him, trying to grab the weapon from his arms. Carrying a silver-bullet loaded shotgun, he made his way to the dead bolted basement door, a nasty scowl on his face.  
  
Greg, stop it! You can't kill your own son! she pleaded. Outside she could hear Romolus screaming from the locked car, trying to smash the window with his fist. He scowled at her, knocking her against the wall in a drunken rage, and clipped open the first of many silver locks.  
  
That beast ain't my son, he said with a slur.  
  
Please! Leave him... We can go, forget about him! The neighbors'll take care of him- she tried, but only received another blow for talking out. For all the trouble he had caused, she couldn't remain silent knowing her son was going to die if something wasn't done.  
  
Just leave him! Go! she cried, face red where she had been hit several times. Off went the fourth lock, and he tore down the nailed plank of wood. Ignoring the cries from above, he descended the staircase, and undid the last door and it's locks.  
  
Half transformed in the early morning, Remus looked up with a snarl, wolven fangs barred. Saliva dripped from his mouth, and he arched his back on all fours, ready to pounce. The gun aimed for his head, one eye at the other end squinting for a hit. Greg Lupin's finger never made another movement, as a moment later, his partially human son was on top of him, tearing away with unnatural strength borne from the curse.  
  
Goddamn beast, get the hell offa me! he shouted painfully, swiping the boy against the cement brick walls. Remus' head crashed with a sickening thud, and in a dizzy daze, he staggered forward.  
  
Damn thing. Greg snapped, picking up the gun. With one shot, Remus gave a canine yelp, and fell to the ground, screams echoing from upstairs.  
  
  
_ Remus said, shaking his long hair in a manner that resembled a wet dog. Wrapping a towel about himself, the other boys quickly followed him in admiration.  
  
Hell, _you_ should be playing Beater. Sirius said with a laugh. You'd break the Bludger with that force.  
  
No aim... I'd never make contact. And it was a lucky hit. With that, he brushed his teeth, and refused to talk to anyone for the rest of the night.  
  
  
  
**A/n-Ooo, I know I'm evil for this, eh? Well, the whole thing was done in two days, so pardon if anything seems rushed. More will be coming really soon! Thanks, and   
  
  
PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW!**


	4. Part IV Silver Ice

A/n- Part four, started only three minutes after finishing III ! Aren't I AMAZING? Lol.... Not.....  
  
Disclaimer- I own absolutely, positively, completely and unarguably nothing. So no bother suing me over something I don't make a cent off of!  
  
Rating- PG-13 for occasional swearing, it isn't that strong though. O_O  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part IV - Silver Ice  
  
  
  
  
Remus endured six days more torment, from many different people. Dias and his friends sneered at him, acting far more Slytherin than a Gryffindor ever should. Professor Carlison constantly called on him in class, nagging and rubbing in that the Dark Creatures unit was coming up. The silver ladder provided a daily challenge, along with anything else that proved to be made of sterling. But on the one-week mark of his arrival, the real test of tolerance began.  
  
  
Hey Remus, where are you going? It was late Saturday night, and up in the dorm, he was making himself busy stuffing a few things into his satchel. A book, a pack of candy, a thin set of robes.  
  
I'm going to visit my mum, I'll be back tomorrow around dinner. he said, smiling to himself. The other boys found this perfectly acceptable, and bid him a safe journey as he walked out the door. A little further off in the halls, the young and fairly irritable Transfiguration Professor met him.  
  
Now, don't worry about anyone ever seeing you. We've worked that aspect of this out perfectly. she said in a stiffy, worried tone that fit her well. And I know you've done this before...  
  
Most of my life. Remus said with a shrug.  
  
Yes, well... Dumbledore still insists that you be taken to the Infirmary afterwards, just to check. she stopped at a little statue of a knight, muttered a password, and tapped his helmet. He hopped aside, revealing a tunnel to the outside boundaries.  
  
I think you can handle yourself from here. And do be careful, that Willow is one nasty swinger. she said, conjuring up a very long stick for him.  
  
The knot we told you about is rather easy to see. It's a little to the backside, near the ground. Well, Good luck Mr. Lupin. she said, still nervously, and smiled as he went on his way.  
  
  
The cold wind blew harshly on him as he made his way. But the whomping Willow needed no such activity to move its branches, it did quite well on its own. He studied how it swung for a moment, found a brief spot where he wouldn't be hit, and jabbed at the little brown spot. The violent limbs froze in place, and Remus made a mad-dash for the passageway.  
  
His footsteps echoed shrilly in the stone tunnel, as he tread on for what seemed like ages. When at last he reached his destination, he found a quiet little room done up nicely. A four-post bed like in the dorms, a side table, a few books on a shelf. There was a plain green carpet covering crude wood floorboards, and boarded up windows.  
  
Well, at least it isn't like my old basement. he mumbled, sitting down on the bed and taking out his Defense assignments. He noted with a smile that Dumbledore had left him a pewter safe so he could keep some belongings rom being destroyed during his transformation.  
  
Two hours... he muttered, lying down.  
  
  
  
_He lie, quivering, in a pool of his own blood. Pale sunlight crept in, illuminating the small boy who still had remains of his wolfen alter-ego. Every now and then, a limb would twitch, and he would briefly yelp in pain as his mind came back from it's frozen state. On the stairs, another boy stood, afraid to move, frozen in mid-step.  
  
Ma! Ma, he killed him! HE KILLED HIM! Romolus shouted, finally regaining his composure, Ignoring all previous warnings about touching Remus while he was bleeding (The curse will spread!), he knelt down, and gently lifted his head.   
  
Remus! Remus, c'mon... Wake up Remus. he pleaded, shaking him lightly. Eliciting no response, he shook harder, until at last a small animal instinct made him snarl.  
  
Ma! Ma call the doctor! He's gonna die! Call the doctor! he shouted. A beaten woman, blood dripping down her face, appeared at the foot of the steps, shaking her head.  
  
He will not treat Remus. she said. A grunt from the corer disturbed the two, and Romolus began to scream at his father for all his worth.  
  
YOU KILLED HIM! HOW COULD YOU?  
  
Eh, can it you Goddamn brat. That ain't your brother. You ain't got a brother. he said, heading bleeding from several scratch wounds. He came forward, Romolus beating pathetically at him in rage. With one swipe he was sent to the side.  
  
Dammit, you're better off without that beast! he yelled. Mrs. Lupin began to cry, leaning against the wall, watching her two sons with teary eyes.  
  
Stop your damn grieving Coretta, that thing ain't your son. he said with disgust, kicking Remus' body over with his foot. Remus, now on his back, looked up with bloodshot eyes, ravening, wild. In one brief moment, he had his father pinned to the ground, gun thrown aside.  
  
Remus, for God's sake don't kill him! his mother shouted.   
  
The still inhuman Remus disregarded this command, and in a feverent slash, his father lay under him, lifeless. He keeled backwards, blood dripping into his fathers, and slumped onto the floor. Romolus, in awe, crawled over, his own leg bent out of use from his fall. He spread the hair on Remus forehead aside, and saw a glimmer silver bullet lodged right on hsi hairline. Soothing his brother, he dug out the painful metal, and threw it aside.  
  
Shh... It's alright. he cooed, Remus whimpering half-humanly. Mrs. Lupin made a strangled sort of cry, and ran up the stairs in a fit.  
  
  
  
  
  
_Remus Lupin was no longer alive at the moment. In his place, scratching at the bed, was beautiful, and powerful, silvery wolf, howling. The boards of the shack echoed, screaming out his misery, into the fully lit night sky.  
  
  
  
He awoke much later, in the arms of who he recognized without seeing as the school nurse. Opening one eye, he could see he was being carried through the tunnel, and soon enough, out of the shack altogether.  
  
Oh, you're awake! the young woman said with surprise, setting him down on a soft patch of grass out of reach of the Willow. She made a fuss of wiping a streak of blood off his face, and getting him to swallow a small bottle of potion. Immediately he felt better, brighter, and the aching pain of post-transformation seemed to lessen. A gentle warmth engulfed his body, and he managed a grateful smile.  
  
Dumbledore said I am to take you up to the Infirmary, but you're alright this time. she said knowingly, checking his ribs for any bruising._  
_  
Oh, don't stare at me such! she laughed. My cousin Sarah is a werewolf, I'm quite used to the tending. Precisely why I was hired this year. she said in a comforting voice, helping him to his feet again. Since she was short for a woman her age- roughly twenty, eh guessed- it was easy for him to sling an arm about her shoulder for aid in walking. He wasn't in full control of his body yet, and it felt as though he had been swimming for so long, all his muscles ached. But he made it to the castle alright, and after another does of the steamy potion, he was able to walk himself back to the Gryffindor tower, satchel slung lazily over his shoulder.  
  
he said quietly, voice raspy from howling all night. The Common Room was fairly empty, and he was able to slip into his shower before anyone noticed him stagger in with a slight limp. Turning to golden taps and stripping of his filthy and bloody clothes, he leaned against the wall, enjoying the comforting water and fumes of the bathroom.  
  
So much better than before. he sighed to himself, slowly lowering himself against the wall, closing his eyes.   
  
  
_Romolus, leave him be! Coretta Lupin scolded, slamming the door of Remus' room. It had been a month since the incident, and he lay in his stiff, cheap bed moaning. Werewolves, he had discovered early on, healed very quickly. But it was for minor things- cuts and bruises, usually self-induced. The marks remained, but the pain never lasted. Usually. A silver bullet to the head and four cracked ribs was an entire different story, especially when he was denied admittance to any hospital or treatment from any doctor.  
  
Outside, Romolus made the manner that he was going back to his mothers room he now shared, but slipped back inside to see his brother.  
  
How ya doing? he asked, sitting down slowly on the bed so Remus could see him properly and not have to move. He made a small moaning noise, still hurting from last nights full moon. Transforming while injured so badly had ruined any healing he had managed, and none of the family remedies seemed to have any affect.  
  
Hurts... All over. he mumbled weakly, voice completely shot. Romolus smiled, and lay down next to his brother. brushing away his dusty brown bangs, he peered at the bullet wound approvingly.  
  
You're getting better. he said quietly. Pretty soon you'll be up and about.  
  
What's gonna happen? Remus squeaked, trying to turn over. His face withered in pain, and he let out a long groan.  
  
Don't move. Romolus snapped, though not angry. And stop _worrying_ so much. We're fine. he assured. A little ray of sunlight illuminated his face, his rough features similar to Remus'. But in place of an innocent frown, he had a stern look, worried more than anyone knew.  
  
Police'll come. I killed him. Remus muttered, shutting his eyes again. Romolus tightened the bandage across his bare chest for him, after seeing him fidget with irritation, and pat his head softly.  
  
But he tried to kill you, you had to. Don't worry, everything is fine.  
  
They'll lock me up. Wont care who... attacked first. Lock me up and never... let me out. he said in short breaths, wheezing and sputtering after a moment.  
  
Stop saying such nonsense. Once you get better we're all going to be fine, and better off. A family again.  
  
That'd... That'd be nice. Real nice. he said, smiling ever-so-slightly. Promise? A family again?  
  
Romolus replied, grasping his younger brothers hand and holding it tight.  
  
  
  
_You tried anyway. Remus said in memory, letting out a sigh as he woke up. The hot water was running out, so he righted himself out, turning off the taps as he went. Wrapping a towel about himself, high on his chest like a girl would, to cover his scars, he stepped out into the steam he had caused. He hung over a sink for a moment, waiting for the foggy mirror to clear out. A solemn reflection looked back at him, clearly tired and worn. Smudging it with his hand in a disapproving way, he made the trek back to his dorm. Minutes after putting on one of Romolus' old shirts and lying down, he fell asleep.  
  
  
  
Looks like he was run over by a rampant Hippogriff. Peter suggested. For several minutes the muddy Quidditch-goers had been prodding Remus, trying to wake him, to no success.  
  
Maybe Dias finally got to him. Sirius remarked.  
  
Nah, Dias'd be dead. One helluva fighter. Remind me to never piss him off. James said with a grin.  
  
He probably had a rough trip, let's just go. Besides, I have quite a few Dungbombs waiting to be used. Peter let out a moan, and obediently followed along as the duo set off.  
  
Several hours later, Remus woke suddenly. His face was drenched with sweat, and his hands were clenched tightly around the bed sheets. Slowing his breathing down, he fumbled for a pen and parchment, and wrote a short letter to his brother.  
  
_Rom-  
  
Something's up, don't ask and just please follow this request. I can't explain it, but something is seriously wrong. Get out, wherever you are. Leave your job, and get the hell out of town. Write to me as soon as you can, or just come here. i don't care, just please get out of that damn town.  
  
  
_He stumbled out of bed, threw a cloak over himself, and went into the empty common room. Everyone was at dinner, so it took no effort to get to the owlry without being seen. His feral pet, Random, swooped down to his shoulder. A curious creature, it had found him and decided he would do fine as a master. The silvery little bird took the letter in her talons, and flew off after a playful nip.  
  
  
  
  
He was rather amazed that Random brought back a reply the next morning, and for a moment, feared it was his own letter being returned. Tearing it open and offering a bit of bacon as reward, he read quickly, and let out a deep sigh.  
  
_Rem,  
  
I don't know what the hell's going on with you. Did something happen? Well, whatever. I'm n Hogsmeade, Shelly's aunt needed a hand around the house so I'm staying there for a while. 2431 Whipstrawe, get your ass here so we can explain a few things.  
  
Your ever confused elder,  
  
Rom.  
  
  
_Swallowing tightly, Remus turned to his side and poked James.  
  
  
  
Is there a way to sneak out of school into Hogsmeade? James snorted, and shook his head.  
  
Of course there is! Jesus, there's a path for _anything_ in this school! he exclaimed, the other two nodding their approval.  
  
Can you get me out?  
  
Sure as hell! I know this school's passages better than the people who built it. C'mon. he grabbed Remus by the hand, slipped out of the Great Hall.  
  
  
Now just follow it all the way through. You'll arrive in the basement of the candy store. Once you're there, you're on your own, alright? I have classes to get to.  
  
Liar. You'd stay if it weren't for Lil-  
  
Shut it Peter! James snapped, going red in the face for a moment. With a hearty smile, he helped Remus crawl through the statue, and into a dark tunnel.  
  
  
  
  
Hey, you made it I see. Rom said approvingly, moving aside the door of the cabin and letting him in. Romolus had changed since they had last seen each other a few months previous. At first glance, many would mistake them for twins, though Romolus as a tad taller and his eyes weren't as grey. He had the face of a trouble parent, which was exactly the role he had been playing his entire life.   
  
They sat down opposite each other at a wooden kitchen table, both letting out identical sighs.  
  
So what the hell is up? You write me, probably middle of the night, telling me to screw the only steady job I've had in three years. Something is seriously up. he said, frowning.  
  
I... It's hard to say. Remus mumbled. After a moment of thought, he looked around, and found _The Daily Prophet_ lying on a counter. With a frown he flipped through, and found perfect proof of what he was trying to explain.  
  
Seribine houses under fire after mysterious local attacked.' he read aloud. The colour drained from Romolus' face, and his hands began to twitch.  
  
Rom, I think I killed someone. Remus said quietly.   
  
  
  
I was coming back, it was near the end of the month and I couldn't find a safe-house anywhere. I figured you and Shelly could lock me up somewhere, she did once before when you were out in Canada. he mumbled. I got held up, some guy caught me stealing a meal from him. I got away, but not after a few punches... I didn't make it back. It was right before Hogwarts started, a week or two. But Rom, I think when I switched... The only human part of me that stayed was that anger at him. I... I think I went after him.  
  
We have to get you out of school. Shelly can-  
  
I have to stay, I'm sorry! Remus blurted out. Look, I have friends now, and a semi-normal life. The police wont find us, they only knew us by my problem, not name. No one will squeal. Tell your girlfriend to watch out, someone's is going to want revenge. I'm sorry I fuck everything up all the time. Remus said, eyes watering. He hung his head down, face in his hands.  
  
Everything was starting to get normal again. he whined. Surprisingly, Romolus put a hand on his shoulder, and lifted up his chin. He smiled warmly, and shook his head.  
  
It's fine, really. This way I can stay close anyway, watch over you. he said. Remus stifled his anger, putting it away for another day.  
  
I'll work something out, don't worry. Promise.  
  
  
  
  
_Rom, what're we going to do? Remus cried, face scrunched up in anger. The police had come, and Mrs. Lupin had been taken away. Quick reflexes and a knack for hiding had kept the bossy safe, though they each knew they could not hide forever.  
  
We have to run, get away from here. Romolus said in a serious tone, hand firmly grasping his brothers shoulder. They're going to come after us, listen to me! he yelled, snapping Remus back to reality. He wiped away his tears, and nodded his head.  
  
I'll stay with you for now, until after the moon. We have to split.  
  
Why? I don't want you to go Rommie...  
  
We're in a lot of trouble Rem, it's all we can do. If we're caught we have to go into foster care. We'll never see each other again. And we'll be put into jail. So if we split up, they have to work really hard to find us. We're smart, we can keep safe as long as we're not together. Can you handle that? Remus nodded his head, standing up from his place against the basement wall.  
  
Go pack a small bag of things, they'll be here tonight probably. The sooner we leave the more ground we cover. And with that, the two brothers left behind the false security they once had, and entered the real world.  
  
Everything'll be fine.  
  
Thanks Rom, for everything.  
  
Not a problem, little brother, not a problem.  
  
  
  
_Remus managed to slip into Divination just before class began, taking a seat right by James.  
  
Hey, we missed you in Charms. he whispered as the instructor went on about something about Saturn and Pluto in conjunction.  
  
Had business to finish. he said shortly, more than slightly shaken up. Once the class assignment had begun, and James was busy looking up planetary charts for something, Remus turned around right before the professor tapped him on the shoulder.  
  
  
I told you it would begin. she said with an airy smile.  
  
What are you talking about? Nothing's changed in the week. he snapped.  
  
Are you not beginning to understand what was once hidden? Surely the Signs have begun. Even now, you know it is true dear boy, do not deny what is obvious. she said in a wispy voice, shaking her head. Remus blinked. It wasn't true, was it?  
  
  
  
Precisely m'dear. Give it time, everything will work out in the end. Things have a way of mending themselves.  
  
Thank you. Remus whispered, looking up. His eyes locked on hers, and for a brief moment, an unspoken understanding transmitted between them.  
  
It is nothing child, nothing at all.  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Sorry it is so short! This isn't my best chapter yet, but hey, it's setting the pace. More will be up very soon! Please feel free to drop me a line if you want to chat, discuss, or get a preview chapter. AlyssaC7@aol.com And if anybody hasn't notied by now, I am not the best ypist, and hve a very unreliable spell-check. Sorry for any mis-typed words!  
  
Iggie  
  
  
REVIEW o_O**


	5. Part V Cold as Fire

A/n- here's Number Five for all of you. be patient while the plot straightens out! PLEAS SEE MY FINAL A/N FOR IMPORTANT NEWS!  
  
  
  
Note for Lily Evans Potter, reviewed chapter 4- More L/J is coming, though I hate to say it, it will not be a main element of the story.  
  
  
  
Disclaimer- I won nothing related to Harry Potter and am making no money whatsoever off of this. (Un)Lucky me...  
  
Rating- PG-13 for now, may change as my mood swings into swear-mode.  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part V - Cold as Fire  
  
  
  
  
  
Remus, Remus! Remus get UP!  
  
He awoke with a start, drenched in sweat, eyes flared like a scared deer. Looking around, he saw a dimly lit James standing over him with a worried expression.  
  
What happened? he mumbled.  
  
You started yelling... Looking over, he saw Alex Avery staring at him slightly from his bed, speaking in a squeaky voice. Peter and Sirius were also awake, though not looking directly his way. James let out a relived sigh, and sat at the edge of the four-poster.  
  
We thought you were dying. he laughed, shaking his head. Bad dream?  
  
I... Don't remember. Remus murmured truthfully, lying back down. James shrugged, and wished him good night as he settled back down in his own bed. For a while Remus lay awake, trying to recall what had caused him to yell out enough to wake the entire dorm. But after half an hour of intense thought, he gave up, and tried to catch up on lost sleep for tomorrow's busy day.  
  
  
_Rem,  
  
I got a job working at the Quidditch store down here, stop by if you like sometime. I paid Shelly back finally, so we don't need to worry about money for a while. Hope everything is going well, see ya soon.  
  
  
_Remus tucked the note in his bag as he ran in the halls, trying to find the History of Magic room again. Skidding to a halt, he whirled into the room, crashing into a desk with overdone momentum.  
  
So glad you could join us. Professor Binns said in a monotonous tone, immediately picking up his lecture on wizarding rights of the early 1800's.  
  
The low point during the civil movement of 1829 occurred in southern Scotland. A safety camp for those suffering from werewolf curses was established and made public. Remus eyes snapped open, and he looked up sharply at the ghost.   
  
It is estimated that over one hundred citizens attended this establishment. This was a drastic step for society in terms of acceptance of the creatures. He winced at being referred as such, and clenched his fists tight.  
  
It was a tragedy often compared in such as vampire slaying and frequent Muggle discrimination. One day in, after the opening ceremony, they were taken out for a social gathering. Remus closed his eyes, praying he wouldn't go on, willing him to stop talking of his own kinds cruel fate.  
  
Ninety eight were shot dead by way of silver bullets. Their bodies were found several months later down a river, many of them damaged beyond comprehension. he concluded, no wince in his voice. A horrible lurch rattled Remus' stomach, and he slouched low in his seat, whimpering to himself.  
  
The Ministry overlooked the entire ordeal, and it was generally ignored by the public until the Nineteen hundreds, around the turn of Werewolves Registration amendments. The Ministry issued a short apology, and it has been disregarded since then as a fairy tale.  
  
Remus keeled over in his seat, shaking, curling into a small ball. The class turned to him, bewildered, as Binns glided through the air.  
  
Are you feeling ill young man? he asked. Severus Snape, who was closest, bent down and put a finger under his chin.  
  
He's in shock, I think. he announced in expert analysis.  
  
I always get one with a weak stomach. Binns murmured as James, Sirius and Peter looked down in confusion.  
  
I think perhaps we should call the nurse.   
  
  
  
Where... What happened? Remus muttered. Sitting up, he felt a cold towel, slightly damp, fall into his lap from his forehead.  
  
Oh, hello there. the nurse said quietly, turning around from her desk and smiling at him. Looking himself over, Remus discovered he was in the Infirmary, though he hadn't the slightest idea why.  
  
You had a bit of trouble in History I'm afraid. she told him quietly, handing him a pill and small glass of water. He downed it at once, and blinked a few times as his vision refocused.  
  
I would suggest you keep yourself under better cover. the nurse said after a moment. You keep up your spells during werewolf discussions and someone is bound to catch on. We can pass this one off as a medical reason, seeing as you've skipped the past two meals... she looked at him in a scolding manner, and helped him sit up. But you need to watch it. You could cost Dumbledore his job, not to mention mine. And I don't think you want to ruin being able to come here. He shook his head enthusiastically, and she smiled warmly.  
  
Then get along to class before you're late.  
  
What time is it?  
  
  
  
Oh goody, just in time for Defense...  
  
  
  
Are you _sure_ you're ok? Peter asked again during dinner. Remus sighed, ate a large chunk of steak to convince them he was fine, and nodded his head.  
  
Well you have been actin' kind of weird lately. Sirius reminded. Going off to visit your mum, and coming back so soon, all tired...  
  
Traveling does do that to you. Remus said, stomach twisting.  
  
He has a point Sirius. Remember when your dad got that new house, and you skipped a week to go help move in? You came back looking like you'd been to hell and back a few times. James pointed out. They all considered this, and the subject of Remus' strange behavior was quickly forgotten. But Sirius felt it his duty to counter on his friend in equal terms.  
  
Hey, really James, why've _you_ been acting strange? You skipped Quidditch practice for God's sake, you never do! Peter snorted, and James offered him a sharp kick under the table.  
  
Don't know what you're talking about. James said shortly, suddenly gaining interest in his salad.  
  
You're up to something, you little conniving bas-  
  
Why thank you. he replied, taking it as a complement. Sirius welcomed him, and went back to digging into his friends business.  
  
No seriously, what's been up? he inquired. James stood up, decided he had homework to finish before bed, and dashed off very suddenly.  
  
Lost his mind, I say. Sirius said, watching as he scurried out of view.  
  
Good thing my friend's are all a bunch of nutters. Hell if they ever notice _I_ act strange... It'd be pretty Goddamn normal compared to them.' Remus mused with a smile.  
  
  
  
Mr. Lupin, can you come here a moment? Professor Carlison asked that Thursday. Remus dragged himself up to the desk, waiting for the inevitable.  
  
I did not receive your essay due, Mr. Lupin. he said in a quiet, scathing voce.  
  
I don't understand why I have to, _sir_. he said irritably. You should know that-  
  
I expect the assignment on my desk by Monday. the Defense Master said shortly as the bell rang. With a mumbled reply, Remus walked along with his friends to Charms.  
  
  
  
Today class, we will be experimenting with some fourth-year magic. You have proved to be rather skilled in the past, so I am hoping this will go over well. professor Flitwick said from atop his stack of books.  
  
I think we're are going to start with Summoning Charms, yes... Alright, pair up everybody, pair up! said excitedly.  
  
The professor had given Remus a little talk on how it was perfectly acceptable if he couldn't complete the Charm as he was not part of the curriculum last year. As it turned out Remus was the very first to do the charm properly, managing to Summon the book from Flitwicks desk.  
  
Oh! Very good Mr. Lup- he toppled out a sight, and climbed back on his books. Ten points for Gryffindor! Splendid! he squeaked. Remus displayed no proud smile as his classmates would have done, he just simply let the book float in front of him for a while. After loosing interest, he made Flitwick fall out of his seat again by Banishing it back, neatly, to the desk.  
  
What, I've been doing it for years. No big deal. he said as a few people stared at him.  
  
We'll, he certainly isn't lagging behind. a Hufflepuff said with a shrug to her friends.  
  
  
  
Idiot boy!   
  
Remus was shoved aside, and a moment later, a small eruption of fire broke out over his cauldron. Professor Bane snarled at his pupil with flared eyes, cursing him mentally.  
  
Remus mumbled, looking intently at his feet.  
  
You just very well could have blown up this classroom! the silver-haired, elderly but cruel professor barked.  
  
I said I was sorry. Remus snapped bravely. What do you want me to do? I can't likely take it back can I? A stunned look came about the much-hated mans face, and he sputtered for a moment before issuing a detention. As he turned his back on the small throng of students, several Slytherin's gave a rare smile Remus' way.  
  
Glad someone had the guts to do that. Severus Snape said quietly. Nearby, Lily Evans nodded her head, giving Remus a very obvious admiring grin.  
  
Jesus Remus, what'd you do to cause an explosion? We're making Calbiance, kind of hard to blow up. James muttered sarcastically, breaking the mood.  
  
I didn't know what I was doing... I never learned the basics of potions, they always bored me to death. he replied sharply. Professor Bane yelled at them to be quiet and get back to work, so the pack disbanded with a few scattered conversations. Since his own cauldron was now a pile of foul-smelling ash and goo, Remus decided to join Peter.  
  
That was great. he said with a wide smile, his own glasses slightly charred from the dust of the explosion. After a failed attempt to clean them off, he simply tucked them in his pocket as usual.  
  
I didn't mean to, really.  
  
Oh, cause it was rather brilliant. Sirius didn't rightly know what he was doing either, his boiled over a minute after yours blew. Would of had hell to pay, Bane _hates _Sirius. With a prefected passion I'd say. Didn't take a strong liking to having his quill jinxed first day we ever had him... Splurged ink all over his robes. Nasty vengeance he has. Peter said, stirring the greenish fluid idly. A bubble popped very suddenly, and he jumped back.  
  
None of us are very good at Potions... I always ruin them, they turn out all wrong. Sirius is a dimwit with them,  
  
I heard that! Sirius snapped from a few spaces over, glaring at Peter with dangerous intent.  
  
And James likes to mess them up on purpose. He's convinced that one day he can time it to explode right in Bane's nasty little face. he mumbled, scraping a bit of crusted potion off the sides of his cauldron and tipping in a few lacewing flies.  
  
And I will dammit. James snapped as he walked by, accidently' spilling a cup of boiling water on Peter. After a few yelps, he magicked the water away and sneered at his friend.  
  
They pick on you allot, eh? Remus said, fighting to conceal a grin.  
  
I am seriously starting to doubt I'll ever have a normal life. he said in full honesty. Sometimes I think I should have walked right on by when I bumped into James in Diagon Alley...   
  
Remus closed his eyes, and watched a brief flash image went through his mind.  
  
_They'll never suspect Peter! Please James, switch... It could be our last chance.!_  
  
  
  
Awesome save! seventh year Aaron Orvis said with an approving nod during Quidditch practice. Though his intricate plays were definitely setting Gryffindor as lead competition, his skill as a Keeper was also improving. He knew he was, by far, the worst Keeper Gryffindor had seen in many years. But the fact that he was managing to tie the team together to some point was encouraging enough to keep him in place as lead Keeper and assistant Captain. As October second drew nearer, the date of their first match against Ravenclaw, he grew anxious and went on a play-frenzy. During the vast majority of his classes, he would doddle out flight patterns and formations on any piece of paper he could find.  
  
Relax Remus, we'll win. Sirius assured Saturday morning, already clad in his scarlet Quidditch robes. Though intended for good, his words did nothing to calm Remus' raging nerves.  
  
I'm gonna go... Make sure Alex can lend me his Cleansweep...  
  
Go talk to your brother, you have plenty of time to sneak down. James suggested. Remus bit his lip, and looked up.  
  
I never said he was staying nearby. he said shortly. Sirius and james grinned, and Peter rolled his eyes.  
  
Trust me, you can't keep anything secret from them. They _always_ find out. Peter mumbled.  
  
Remus took James' advice and quietly made his way to the statue.  
  
  
  
Jesus Christ, they're gonna find out. Remus said for the fifth time since he had sat down at the creaky old table. Romolus chuckled, and set down a pot of tea and offered a glass.  
  
As long as you aren't a complete dolt it'll be fine.  
  
You don't know them... I swear, they could be spies or something. And they get in trouble more than any five people combined, apiece. he said with a small grin, as he now shared that percentage.  
  
Sounds like fun.  
  
It is. Remus admitted.  
  
Well anyway, stop worrying about the game. You're so Goddamn clever they wont even get a chance to score. he said with a smirk.  
  
Care to whip my ass in chess? You keep claiming you're good, I wanna test the little Mooner.   
  
  
Remus was rather surprised-He hadn't known Romolus could play chess that well. He was shocked when his elder brother had managed to snatch his queen very early in the game.  
  
Doesn't matter, I don't use her much anyway. Remus admitted. Several moves later though, both his knights were in a neat line off the board.  
  
Alright, fine... You are good. when did you pick up chess?  
  
Shelly's father was a fanatic for it, he spent a long time trying to get me hooked on it. Never did figure it out, and he died before I ever got very good. Me and Shell played every now and then in-between my runnings. he said with a small shrug, frowning as his last rook was captured.  
  
Remus said, sipping his tea. Rom cursed aloud, not able to find any escape route.  
  
Checkmate. And you could have moved to c-2, I couldn't haven stopped you there. Remus pointed out. With a grumble, Romolus pointed out the fact that he should be getting back to school.  
  
I'll beat you next time! he swore as Remus departed, much more relaxed than he had come.  
  
  
  
Forty-five minutes into the game, it's now twenty-nintey in favour of the underdog Lions. the announcer said, mild surprise in his voice, as Ravenclaw called for a time out. The gryffindors gathered around Remus, all in a state of bliss, patting him on the back.  
  
It isn't over yet, remember, they're clever. We can assume they're going to start using some counter plays against us, so we need to keep up. I say we try using the Metriate formation, it'll cancel any attempts they make to catch the Snitch early out. Remus said, nodding hsi head to himself.  
  
We'd be vulnerable to Bludger work. James pointed out.  
  
It's a risk we need to take if we want to make sure you have all the space you need to get the Snitch. Remus said, letting out a sigh.  
  
Focus all the Bludger work on the Seeker, keep him on his toes as long as possible, don't let him sit. Sarah, Aaron, double up on the center Chaser, they're going to use him as the lead.  
  
And how do you know that? Sarah Virkler snapped, still skeptical of his calls.  
  
Do you want to win or not? The whistle blew, and their discussion was brought to a halt.  
  
Just do as I said, and Sirius... he stayed behind as the rest flew off, facing Remus in the air.  
  
  
  
Watch your back in a few minutes.  
  
Why's that?  
  
Just trust me.  
  
  
It was a nasty sight, watching someone fall from so high above the ground. The opposing Chasers had triple-teamed on Aaron when he had the Quaffle, and distracted the ref enough so as to let way for a very direct foul. The Beaters, working very precisely, ahd taken drastic measure and decided to incapacitate Sirius with an unavoidable Bludger assault. with a sickening thud, Sirius toppled off his broom and hit the ground. The crowd screamed, many of the Slytherin's hooted their applause, while the Gryffindors erupted into a mob.  
  
Someone get the nurse! Professor Heltin, the referee, shouted. Lowering to the ground as one, both teams decided it was bets to call off the match. James was the first one that managed to shove through the crowd and see what damage had been done.  
  
Oh my God... he said in disgust. Sirius' skull was visible through bloody gap on the back of his head where the iron Bludgers had hit him at the same time. Professor Heltin rolled him over, and cringed. His eyes were open, though he was clearly not conscious. Remus shut his eyes, wishing Sirius had taken his advice. He never wondered how he had known, he just accepted it as a neglected warning.  
  
Is... Is he alright? the Ravenclaw beaters asked in minute voices, disgusted that they had caused such.  
  
Of course, just a little bump to the head. the ref said, her words not convincing anyone. The look in her eyes clearly let it be known that it was a little bit more than just a bump.  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- I'm now willing to offer a kind of Author Alert on my own. If anyone want's an e-mail whenever this is updated, please contact me!! Drop me a line at AlyssaC7@aol.com (Be sure to put IGGIE as subject) and I'll be happy to chat about anything or such. Thanks for reading, and ALL suggestions are welcome!  
  
Please leave a review!  
  
Iggie**


	6. Part VI Off the Wall

A/n- Here's part six, sorry to leave on a cliffie last time. And I apologize for this one taking so long to get up.... I've had some problems lately, I did it quick as I could. ^^  
  
Rating- PG-13 for now.  
  
Disclaimer- Harry Potter and all related material are registered trademarks of J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers, Inc., and all other respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended and not a cent is being made off of this. o_O  
  
Chapter Keywords- Prejudice, Sirius on medication (!), snogging with Slytherin's, pissed off James, old hatred, confused Remus and nervous Peter.  
  
Extra Note- There's no Rommie in this chapter, sorry folks!  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part VI - Off the Wall  
  
  
  
The days after the infamous Quidditch match were very scattered. James for once didn't pull a single prank, and they were all relieved from detentions for old crimes. Bane wasn't as horrible to Remus, and Professor Mendell didn't let on about his growing talents' all throughout Divination anymore. And, Remus noted, the Ravenclaw's went out of their way to help any of the Gryffindors as way of apology.  
  
  
  
  
How is he? James asked quietly three mornings later, standing at the door of the Infirmary. With a sigh, the nurse let the three boys in, knowing they would end up returning after every class if she didn't. The made a dash for Sirius bed, and to their extreme relief, found him awake. His head was wrapped tightly with a fresh bandage, arm secured in a sling as well. He smiled slightly, trying to bend forward to greet them.  
  
Sit down or you'll regret it. the nurse snapped as she walked by. Sirius let out a short, coughing laugh, and waved his left hand instead.  
  
How are ya? James asked, pulling up a chair and sitting on it backwards.  
  
I'm good... Searing headache and a few broken limbs, nothing I can't handle. he said with a smirk. James pursed his lips, not exactly beleiving it. His voice had a raspy tone to it, and the casted arm and suspended leg didn't excatly help to prove him otherwise.   
  
Everyone though you died. Peter said quietly.  
  
He almost did. the nurse commented as she handed Sirius a cup of foul-smelling, bubbling potion. He downed it without protest, and handed back the empty cup.  
  
And quit trying to move... I doubt you want a repeat of spinal ajustment. Sirius shivered as she walked away, shutting his eyes for a moment.  
  
Remus, next time you warn me abnout something like that, repeat it until I listen. he said in a shaken voice. The others raised their eyebrows, but passed it off without question.  
  
Are you sure you're alright though? It was a retty nasty fall. Peter said.  
  
I'm _fine_. In a week or so I'll be up and about. he said in an almost convincing sort of tone. Apperntly I have an alergy to about half of the stuff in the Skele-Grow potion, so they have to mend the old fashioned way. Boosted healing charms and all, so it's going to take a while... he trailed off, rubbing at his head for a moment,  
  
So how'd the Quidditch game finish? he asked, putting a prompt butcher to the subject of his health condidtion.  
  
We rescheduled.  
  
Idiot! You could have gotten the Snitch while I was lying there, no one would have noticed! Sirius made an attempt to lean forward, but twitched in pain, and sat back down. Stupid git, we could have won. I'm frickin banned for two weeks, I can't play.  
  
James snapped. No one else can take your position, and Casey isn't good enough to cover both Bludgers.  
  
Someone has to...  
  
Sirius, you'd better stop talking if you don't fancy another screaming headache. And I mean that in the most literal sense possible young man. the nurse called from her desk.   
  
  
  
Are you doing well? Dumbledore asked kindly. He had pulled Remus out of Defense-much to his amusment-to check up on how things were.  
  
Oh, I'm fine. Remus said quietly, looking about the office. He was most intrigued by a golden perch on the desk, and Dumbledore answered his unasked question.  
  
I have a pet phoenix, Fawkes. He's out hunting at the moment I'm afraid. Otherwise I'm sure he'd be delighted to meet you.  
  
Animals... Er... Don't really take kind to me. Remus said uncomfortably. Dumbledore noosed his head, and smiled again.  
  
Is our arrangement working out for you alright?  
  
Yes sir, very well. It's much more comfortable than my old basement and storage levels I used to use. Thank you. he said politely, looking down at his feet.   
  
No need to be so formal Mr. Lupin, no need.  
  
Alright sir.  
  
Dumbledore let out a chuckle, and busied himself with some paperwork as he talked.  
  
Well so far, we've been able to keep this all from the Ministry. I don't think they're ready... Well, no need to worry. Everything seems to be working out just fine. he said, more to himself than to Remus. How's Mr. Black? I saw the game, that was one nasty fall.  
  
Oh, he's fine. More concerned about the rematch than his head. Remus said, letting out a small smile.  
  
Typical of him. Dumbledore said with an amused chuckle. Well, if everything is going well, you'd best be getting off to class again. If you need anything, please don't be hesitant to ask.  
  
I wont, sir.  
  
Well, run along then. Good day Mr. Lupin.  
  
You too sir.  
  
  
  
Halfway back to Defense, Remus heard a small, muffled noise from around the corner. Taking a detour, he was rather shocked to see Lily Evans slumped against the wall, almost to the point of tears.  
  
Are... Are you alright? Remus asked. She turned her head away, and told him to bugger off.  
  
Is something wrong? he asked again.   
  
I'm fine.  
  
You don't look it. said Remus, kneeling down next to her. She turned around, and for no apparent reason, hugged him.  
  
she said quickly, biting her lip. No one really cares about me much, at all... Sorry. she squeaked, pulling her knee's against her chest.  
  
That can't be true. Someone does... Isn't Severus Snape nice to you?  
  
Not really. None of the Slytherin's are, I'm not mean enough for them. And everyone else hates me _because _I'm a Slytherin. It's always been this way, but it's worse now. Even my teachers hate me. she said, green eyes starting to water again.  
  
If it makes you feel any better, I've been given an entire years worth of extra work. And the Divination Professor hangs over me like a fly to a trash bin. he said. She smiled a little, and looked up at him.  
  
You're a Gryffindor. she realized.  
  
That I am.  
  
You... You shouldn't be nice to me. she said in a flat voice.  
  
And why not?  
  
I'm Slytherin. she said, biting her lip. We're supposed to hate each other.  
  
Doesn't mean a thing. If someone doesn't take a step out of conformity things would stay the same for thousands of years.  
  
But... It has been like this, forever. We're supposed to hate each other. she said, irritated that he didn't know the basic laws of Hogwarts.  
  
Just because we're supposed to doesn't mean we have to. he said softly, holding out a hand as he stood up.  
  
Come on. he insisted. She frowned, looking up at him in confusion, and took his hand after hesitation.  
  
You're very strange. All the other Gryffindor's would have laughed while I was down. she said as they walked back, Lily not caring she didn't have Defense at the moment.  
  
Not all of them. And you're a bit off for a Slytherin by what I've heard.  
  
It's the root to all my problems... Personally, I think the Sorting Hat was having an off day when he placed me. I don't have one friend where I am.  
  
Maybe you need to try a bit harder. There's probably someone else like you, but they don't have the guts to be themselves. said Remus. Afraid to act like how they normally would. Lily considered this, and right as the bell rang, she hugged him again, and planted a kiss on his cheek.  
  
From the doorway of the Defense room, James stood, frozen to his spot and appalled at what he saw.  
  
  
  
By dinner it had been circulating through various Houses that Lily Evans and Remus Lupin had skipped class to snog in a broom closet. At the Gryffindor table, James kept shooting half-glances at Remus, and Peter looked as though he was undergoing interrogation for some reason.  
  
Doesn't it bother you? Alex asked, the only Gryffindor at the time who didn't believe a word of the rumor.  
  
Not really. Remus replie honestly, devouring his sweet potato in two bites.  
  
She's a Slytherin though... That's not exactly a good thing to have going around.  
  
If someone said you were out in the halls snogging with a Ravenclaw, would anyone care? Remus asked very suddenly, starting to understand the age-old walls of hatred between all the houses.  
  
Hell not... Most of the guys would be congratulating me. Alex said after a moments thought, going red at the thought.  
  
Exactly. It's a bunch of rubbish then. Lily's really nice, I don't see why everyone associates her with her House to such an extreme. Hasn't _anyone_ ever bothered to take a second look at a Slytherin?  
  
No. Not to my knowledge... Personally I hate them all.   
  
  
  
My older brother's inSslytherin, he's a bastard. All his friends are, and every person I've ever know form Slytherin has been a bastard. he said simply, as if it explained the entire ordeal.  
  
I was almost put in Slytherin, and very few find me to be an ass. Well, before today anyway. Remus added.  
  
But you weren't, and you aren't, that's what makes it different. Alex muttered. Once again Remus was being revealed to how the real world acted, and how terribly illogical it could be.  
  
Where're you going?' James snapped. Remus, plate in hand, was walking by, and to the horror of everyone, in the direction of the Slytherin table. The Professor's watched in awe from the Head Table as Hogwarts history was shattered into a million pieces- Remus took a seat at the Slytherin atbel upon his own free will.  
  
he said to all those menacing faces looking on at him, and surrounding tables burst into hushed conversations.  
  
Pass the steak, would you? he asked loudly. Lily fought down a laugh from across him, and smiled very wildly.  
  
What's the big deal? he asked innocently as over a hundred faces looked about ready to kill him.  
  
Yeah, really... What's the big deal? Lily asked loudly.  
  
  
And with that said, a pebble was torn off the wall.  
  
  
  
Hey guys, what's up? Sirius asked as they visited him that night.  
  
Remus' been out snogging in the hallways, that's what. James snapped as he pulled up a chair.  
  
Way to go Remus! Sirius hooted, drawing a from a few beds over.  
  
I told you James, we weren't snogging. Remus snapped irritably.  
  
So who's the chick? Sirius asked, undaunted.  
  
Lily Evans. James said in a very clear, malicious tone. Sirius' smile faded, and he looked back and forth between Remus and James, then to a nodding Peter.  
  
Whoa, I don't know if you knew, being the new guy and all... But, well, she's Slyth. Out of bounds. he said to break the unnerving silence.  
  
We weren't snogging. Remus repeated.  
  
To hell you weren't! James yelled, bursting up from his seat.  
  
James maybe you should-  
  
Go to hell Pete. he snapped, eyes flashing.   
  
I'm leaving. he declared, and stormed out of the Infirmary, followed by a nervous Peter.  
  
That was a bit strange. Sirius blinked, and shrugged.  
  
So what's this about you and Lily Evans snogging?' he asked with interest.  
  
We weren't snogging. Remus repeated again, thoroughly fed up with the topic.  
  
Well just to warn you, she's Slyth, no one touches Slyth. And second off... James has had this major over-obsessive crush on her since first year.  
  
Remus blinked, his turn to be confused, and sat down in the now vacant chair.  
  
Really? But I thought you said-  
  
He knows she's off limits, that's why he's pissed. He never thought anyone would accept it so he tried to forget about her. Obviously he hasn't. Sirius said with a grin. James has always gotten any girl he's wanted. Except her... So watch out, he's... Kinda dangerous when he's mad. If you have any sort of secret, he'll find it out and hold it blackmail. Sirius warned. Remus swallowed, and shut his eyes for a moment.  
  
But I don't like her. At all. he finally said.  
  
Won't matter. James is pissed. And when James is pissed, he gets his revenge.  
  
Sounds like the stereotypical Slytherin. Remus snorted.  
  
Say that to his face and you'll regret ever coming here. Sirius said in perfect clarity. So, tell me again about this snogging. In an hour I won't remember jack shit, they keep drugging me up on these nasty little pills... Lie a little, make it interesting. he said with a smirk.  
  
  
How's your head? he asked a day later after a very uneentful Transfiguration.  
  
Mending well according to doc. It's pretty cool, they gave me a copy of the X-ray. he said with a grin, looking off to the side as it was the only movement he could do at the time. Remus picked up the thin film, and held it up to the light.  
  
Jesus Christ! It's completly shattered! he said, eyes going wide. Doesn't that _hurt_?  
  
Yeah, but it's not shattered anymore. Amazing little things, those bone-regrowers. Solid as a rock again. Sirius said with a grin. So how's James being?  
  
Remus said lgihtly.  
  
As expected... Eh, could you get me that little cup? he asked, squirming his fingers to the side table. Remus handed it to him, rolle dhis eyes at himself, and fed him the potion.  
  
Ah, I love this stuff... Makes you all lightheaded and you cant feel any... he promptly dozed off, and Remus chuckled to himself.  
  
  
Remus stormed off the field, broom following behind him like a lost puppy, late that night. He was supposed to be back at Quidditch practice, but after Casey, the other Beater, had knocked him off his broom, he was understandably not in the mood to play. The fact that James had busted out laughing when he landed in the mud didn't motivate him to remount either.  
  
Shit... Shit... he cursed, wincing at each alternating step. Halfway to the staircase of the school, he fell over and let out a very loud string of swears. Clutching at his leg, he cursed again, and sat upright.  
  
he said to himself, pulling up the leg of his jeans. his knee was already swollen, and throbbing painfully. Making sure no one was around, he shut his eyes, and tried an old self-healing spell he had used in the past after beatings from his father, to no avail.  
  
he said again as he stood up, grabbing at the broom. He swung himself over it, and glided the rest of the way to the school and into the halls. Unfortunately, Alex had a Charm in place, and the broom dashed out from under him to find it's owner now that it was inside the building.  
  
Remus? Hey, what happened?  
  
Relieved, Remus stood up against the wall as Lily rushed over to help, a worried expression across her face.  
  
Bastards knocked me off in Quidditch practice, laughed their asses off. I fell pretty hard on my knee. he said, wincing as she put his arm across her shoulder. And my arm. he added, and she promtply switched sides.  
  
Because of me, right?' she asked quietly, and shook her head before he confirmed her suspicions.  
  
Then they're just as bad as the Slytherin's that they hate so much. It's so _stupid_ ! she said angrily, helping him walk along to the Infirmary.  
  
No, just take me back to the Gryffindor tower. Remus muttered. She nodded her head, and changed course.  
  
I don't understand why people think the way they do. she muttered to herself. They hate us over the dumbest things! Because it's always been one way, they accept it as the right thing and never question it! It's like slavery, no one ever bothered to realize it was wrong. It took so long before anyone did anything...  
  
They're guilty of the crimes they accuse. Remus muttered from memory. It was something Romolus used to say all the time, whenever Remus would ask why people hated werewolves so much. Being very little, he didn't understand why the neighbors forbid their children from playing with him after he had gotten the bite, when he had been over there the day before without any problems.  
  
Lily said, glaring at a group of Ravenclaw's they passed.  
  
Here, I can get the rest of the way... Remus said a while later. Go any further and you're in no-mans land... They'd mug you or something. he said with a roll of his eyes. Lily waved him goodbye, watching as he dragged his useless leg behind him. He gave up going on his won after a few paces, and leaned against the stoen wall for support.  
  
Seeya later. he yelled as he turned a corner and vanished from her view.  
  
  
Lily turned around, and smacked into someone. Fumbling an apology she looked up, and scowled.  
  
You could have at least helped him. she snapped. It's your fault anyway. Lily brushed past him, bumping his shoulder, and went off in a snobby manner. James bit his lip, fighting back the urge to curse her off, and clenched his fists.  
  
I swear to God Remus... he muttered, dashing off for the Gryffindor tower.  
  
  
He had finished wrapping his leg with an old Muggle brace when James stormed into the dorm, face flushed red.  
  
What the hell's your problem? he barked.  
  
I'd ask the same. Remus said quietly, refusing to work himself up. He took Sirius' advice, and tried with all his might not to get angry.  
  
I told you before, we didn't do anything and I don't like her. Remus said, looking up bravely. James was right in front of him, wand out, contemplating what jinx was most appropriate for the situation.  
  
I have no intentions for anything James. She's all yours. he stood up, and walked his way to the showers, limping slightly less than before. James stood in place, once again at a loss of words.  
  
  
A long hour later, Remus emerged, dripping wet, from the bathroom, in a calm state of mind. He quietly changed into his bedclothes, hopped his way down the steps on one foot, and joined a game of Exploding Snape without anyone questioning him. The topic of Lily Evans had died down for the time being, and everyone was content to watch Remus blow up twenty-six Snape figures in less than ten minutes. After a few games and a couple Knuts, he wished everyone a good night, and hobbled up the stairs and into the dorm.   
  
He wasn't greeted by a pleasant sight.  
  
His small trunk of belongings were scattered about the floor, and his table drawer was lying on the ground, contents everywhere. With a sigh, he began to put everything back in order, until Peter tapped him on the shoulder.  
  
Here, he took these from you. he said quietly, handing him a stack of Romolus' notes. For a brief second he wondered whether they had been read, but Peter wouldn't be looking so calm if he had found anything out.  
  
He took some of your money too. he added, digging into his pockets and producing a small collection of Sickles and Knuts.  
  
Remus said, tucking them away.  
  
He ate a few of your Chocolate Frog's too, I couldn't get those back.  
  
It's alright.  
  
And he took your Dungbombs. Watch out for those. he said quietly, looking nervously about the room.  
  
Don't worry, I'll say I took them all back. No need ot drag you into this. Remus assured, and Peter instantly relaxed.  
  
I'd watch out though, he can be pretty nasty when he's mad. Snape blew him off in front of Lily before, you know by now he's a bit touchy over her, and he went ballistic. Peter said with a small grin. He would have gotten himself suspended for that prank had McGonnagal ruined it accidentally. But really, watch your back... And you'd be wise to stay away from Lily for a while, until he calms down.  
  
Thanks... Sirius already warned me.  
  
For good reason. James snapped from the doorway.  
  
  
  
**A/n- Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! A couple people had stated their interest on Lily in Slytherin, so I decided to do a bit on her. o_O Anyway, please leave a review! If I've contacted anyone repeatedly and you're sick of it, please let me know! Drop me an E-mail at AlyssaC7@aol.com if you want to be notified when I update. Thanks for your time, and I hope you like my work! Comments welcome!  
  
Iggie  
  
  
REVIEW!!!!!**


	7. Part VII Moondust

A/n- Here's part seven, sorry to keep leaving you all off on cliffhangers!  
  
Disclaimer- I own no part of Harry Potter or anything you recognize for that matter. And I do wish I was making a profit, but alas, I am a poor starving writer.... o_O  
  
Rating- PG-13 for swearing (Bad James! Dad!)  
  
Chapter Keywords- Blackmail, sarcasm, Quidditch rivalry, very VERY mad James, Lily, Romolus memories.  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part VII - Moondust  
  
  
  
Early November came, along with renewed angers and a healthy Sirius. Now that the majority of the Gryffindor team was pitted against Remus, they refused to follow his plays, and their scores showed it. With Sirius gone for two of the games, they hadn't lasted over twenty minutes. Upon his return, things didn't prove to be much better. Four games had gone by, and not once had they managed a win. But Remus had other things on his mind, more important than a suffering Quidditch team.   
  
  
Ah man, I could have told you that. Romolus said with a shake of his head.  
  
_Everyone_ knows about the Gryffindor-Slytherin thing. he said over a cup of tea one day when Remus had managed to sneak out. Hell, it's been around since the founders themselves.  
  
  
Things didn't go very well with the Slytherin situation either. The Slytherins themselves didn't mind, many actually accepted him as though he were a native to their House. And the Ravenclaw's were logical enough to see that possibly it was ok for him to be friends with Lily. But many of the Gryffindors refused to budge from their customs. James had gone into overdrive, constantly trying to find some way to get back at Remus.  
  
Will you just please lay off? You can have her! Remus snapped one night. It did nothing to damper James' determination to find blackmail, and it only got worse.  
  
And on top of that, Remus had his most dreaded assignment due on Carlison's desk in a week.  
  
  
_Describe, in no less than one scroll, the many ways to dispose of and destroy a werewolf._  
  
  
  
Do you not See it now? Mendell asked, pulling him behind as the rest of the class disbanded. She was smiling at him in her usual airy way, hovering about as though she kenw the Secret of the Universe.  
  
See what?  
  
Your curse has given you gifts before. You're strength, for one. Has that not helped you?  
  
Remus asked, annoyed by her constant insistence that he was changing.  
  
You are too Blind to See... she mumbled, letting him go with a reluctant sigh.  
  
  
  
Remus, you alright? Sirius asked at the end of the month. He hastily stuffed the note inside his pocket, remembering the full circle in the the corner, and nodded.  
  
he said in a dry tone. Sirius peered at him for a minute, and frowned.  
  
Something's up. I've seen that look on James before, you're hiding something.  
  
Not at all.  
  
You're a bad liar, you know that? Remus bit his lip, and shrugged.   
  
If you are hiding something, I swear on my life, James is gonna find out.  
  
  
Lily... Can I talk to you a minute? He pulled her aside after potions that afternoon, frowning.  
  
Don't ask why or anything, but do you like James? At _all_?   
  
She bit her tongue in thought, scrunched her face, and shrugged.  
  
A little bit. He is cute. she admitted.  
  
Well he's been obsessing over you for three years. Remus blurted out, watching as his friends walked by at a safe distance. Lily's eyes went wide, and she smiled in an embarrassed sort of way.  
  
Ask him out, he's driving me insane. Remus pleaded. It was his one chance to get James off his back, one shot at keeping him from finding out...  
  
Lily considered it, told him she'd think about it, and dashed off with a Slytherin girl she had befriended recently.  
  
God, if anyone finds out... he mumbled, walking away and scribbling out the rest of his essay for Defense. His stomach had been upset during the entire project, but he fought back his disgust and slapped it down on Carlison's desk minutes later without a wince.  
  
There. Happy now? he snapped, sitting down in his seat with Peter next to him.  
  
I've decided to start our unit on Dark creatures a bit early. Carlison said with a nasty smile.  
  
  
  
Running a bit late, are you? Nurse Ahmand said with a smirk, escorting him down to the Willow.  
  
I was down in Hogsmeade, there's a rumor going about that the shack is haunted. Wonder how that came about? she mused in a joking manner.  
  
So I'm loud when I transform, happens to everyone.  
  
No, didn't mean it like that... she said hastily, smiling. It's a good cover-up. No one would get curious to visit a Shrieking Shack, now would they?  
  
They chatted for a while in the darkening sky, and finally parted as Remus froze the Whomping Willow with his stick. Back at the castle, James squinted with all his might from the Owrly window, and let out a strangled sort of gasp.  
  
No way... he muttered, suddenly dashing off, his letter forgotten.  
  
  
  
Hello _Remus_. James said with a smirk the next afternoon.  
  
So you decided to talk to me again? Remus inquired, wondering why he was being stared at in such an odd manner.  
  
You could say that.  
  
_Run._ Remus blinked, wondering why his subconscious had just delivered that message to him.  
  
  
  
It was common by early December to see Remus depart for the Slytherin table, but when Lily joined him at the Lions, she was greeted by many harsh stares.  
  
Hi James. she said sweetly, sting next to him, across from Remus. He stammered a hello, and Sirius slapped himself on the forehead.  
  
Idiot!' he mouthed when Lily wasn't looking.  
  
Can I talk to you for a minute? she asked after a brief few words with Remus. They both left for the halls, and James came back several minutes later, face flushed in a very Gryffindor red.  
  
Sirius grinned, Peter burst out laughing, and Lily walked away chuckling to herself.  
  
Good going James. Sirius said with a huge grin.  
  
  
  
Several nights later, when the others were all off playing Quidditch, Remus sat in the dorm doing his homework. But for some reason, his gaze kept straying off his paper and towards James' bed. After being fed up with his lack of attention, he walked over, and looked around for whatever kept making him divert his gaze. Under his bed, he found a small silver box, the lock undone and a piece of paper poking out. Lifting the paper to open the container, he let out a strangled gasp, and sat down on the floor, eyes wide in panic.  
  
Oh my God... he finally managed, and emptied all missing his notes and the lunar charts onto the floor carefully. Eyes blurring, he stuffed them in his bed drawer, and raced for the statue of the funny-looking witch.  
  
  
He found out! Remus cried the minute Romolus answered the door. His brother cursed loudly, and shuffled him inside. After a short explanation full of four-letter words, Remus had his head in his arms on the table, nearly crying like the child he denied ever being.  
  
I blew it! he muttered.  
  
It'll be fine... He's your friend. Don't-  
  
It's no use Rom, he found out! He'll tell everyone... He's pissed at me! I ruined it! he yelled, face red and eyes irritated. His brother finally sat down, let out a deep sigh, and shook his head.  
  
We need to go to Dumbledore, he might be able to do something...  
  
I can't... It's over. We have to leave. Once the school finds out, everyone in the whole community will know. We have to get out of here.  
  
  
  
_Remus, run! Romolus shouted, his footsteps echoing from the staircase. The small boy wasted no time in grabbing his backpack, flying out the front door in a speed not reached by any child his age. His eyes started to leak as he looked back every few steps, waiting for his brother to come with him. Even outside of the city bounds, he would look back, waiting to see his brother right behind him like always. Romolus was never behind him anymore.  
  
  
  
Get outa here you little brat!  
  
He grabbed a armful of bread, and swung up on the escape ladder of the old village tenant building. He smiled, and munched on the bread thoughtfully as the shop owner failed ot find the thief.  
  
See Rommie, I can make it on my own. he told no one, face burning red. I can make it... he dug into his pocket as he said this, pulling out an odl photo. Long ago he had torn the sides off, where his parents had been, so it left just him and Romolus, arm and arm, laughing at a parade. The picture was worn, yellowed at the edges with a tea stain on one side, but he treasured it. Over a year ago the police had come to their home looking for them, and they had split up. For a year both had been evading lost child programs and social services, on their own.  
  
For a year, Remus had doubted if he would ever have a family again.  
  
  
  
_What _can_ we do? Remus asked a while later, still in a very obvious state of panic. Romolus was pacing back and forth across the floor, scratching at his hair.  
  
Are you sure he _knows_ for certain? If he just suspects it, there might be a chance.  
  
He's had this look, like he... I'm almost certain he knows.  
  
Then prove him wrong. Rom said with a glint in his eyes. Do something a werewolf never would, I don't know... What's a dead giveaway?  
  
Obvious one would be touching silver... Don't you _even_ suggest it! You have no frickin clue how much that hurts! Remus protested, wincing in memory of the silver bullet. Reflexivly his hand went to his forehead, and he traced the tiny whitish scar over with his fingers.  
  
It's that, or we have to skip the country or live as Muggles. Once the wizards all find out, we're blacklisted.  
  
God... This sucks. Remus mumbled, slouching in his seat.  
  
  
  
he said at dinner, biting his lip as he sat across from James. Him and Sirius were both looking at him oddly, and Peter kept diverting his gaze.  
_  
_God, he told them...' With that final thought, he sucked in his pride, and swallowed. As the steaks were passed around, instead of stabbing one with his own gold fork, he picked up the silver serving one. He took in a silent gasp of air as the pain ripped through him, but he showed no signs of such torture. Across, he smiled warmly at his friends, who were watching with wide eyes.  
  
You'd never believe the crazy idea James had. Sirius said after a moment, hitting James on the head playfully. The stupid git thought you were a werewolf, of all things. he said as Remus poked at his meat, still holding the silver fork. For an hour he had to endure the pain, and later that night, well out of the range of anyone, he cried out his misery.  
  
  
James went back to his normal self after that, slightly let down that his blackmail had turned out faulty. They once again returned to wreaking havoc on the school, and to the amusement of most, managed to time a cauldron explosion right as Bane walked by. He had stormed out of the room, cursing as the little green boils popped all over his face.  
  
You're a bunch of marauding idiots, you know that? Bane barked when he returned later, a white paste slathered all over his greasy face. The four bossy smiled guiltily, with no regret, and shrugged as one.  
  
Marauders... Kind of catchy, isn't it? Remus pointed out.  
  
Sirius agreed, thinking it over. It was decided as one (Peter was forced to agree) that the title Marauders fit well.  
  
  
  
What're you up to? James asked as the holiday's drew nearer. Remus was sitting at a table by himself in the Common room, his notebook of Quidditch plays to the side, a fresh sheet of parchment in front of him.  
  
I had an idea, but I don't know if it will work. he said as James watched him sketch a little diagram of the Gryffindor tower in perfect accuracy.  
  
What, a map or something?  
  
Kind of... My brother got these for me, in Hogsmeade. they only sold them for a few days. he said, holding up a box of Zonko's Real-Life Charcoal Pens.  
  
Apparently some little girl drew a picture of a dragon, and I think it ate her. Remus said with a shrug.  
  
What's that got to do with a map? James asked curiously, sitting down.  
  
It was just an idea, I don't think it'll work. Remus said hastily, beginning to crumple the page. The initial idea woudl cause too much trouble, and result in far more detentions than Remus wished to serve. James took it from him, smiled maniacally, and understood what Remus had been thinking.  
  
It'll work alright. James picked up the sketched, eyes glinting with his infamous hint of mischief, and he set himself to work, trying to recall a certain Charm that he thought might help.  
  
No, see, you make it so only we can use it! That way we'll never get caught. he said suddenly, eyes going even wider. He took off his thin gold glasses, and set himself to a long night of writing out idea's.  
  
  
Seeya! Don't forgot to send me something! James called as the carriages pulled away, towing Sirius and Peter with them. They waved enthusiastically, sticking their heads out the window, as they strolled out of view. The winter holiday's had finally come, along with a large amount of snow, and James' head was bursting with plots of pranks. The Marauders Map, as he had dubbed it, was a second priority to the fresh load of Dungbombs and other pranks waiting to be pulled in the eerily vacant school.  
  
  
James, wait a minute. Remus said, grabbing the lighter before any of the large, and highly potent, Dungbombs were ignited. He paused for a minute, nodded his head to himself, and pulled out his wand.  
  
What're you doing? James blinked as Remus muttered a long and foreign incantation.  
  
If you just light them now, Bane would be able to trace it back to you. Come on, he _knows_ you hate him. said Remus. I'm making them ignite only after we can long clear this place, and be in the presence of people to vouch for us. he mumbled as the wicks of all five Dungbombs turned red, then green, and back to their normal shade.  
  
And don't touch them. They're hot. he warned right as James was about to test the wick temperature. He smiled, picked them up carefully, and hid them strategically about the room.  
  
You'd be one hell of a force to reckon with if you could manage to get away with all your jokes. Remus remarked as they sneaked their way into Carlison's office for an equal dose of mischief.  
  
That, my friend, is where you come in.  
  
  
  
Sorry again about before. James said loudly above the wind. Alex Avery had gone home for the holidays, and lent his broom off so Remus could catch up on missed practices due to a leg injury he refused to have treated. A lot of second years having a snowball fight looked on from the ground as James sharpened his skills as a back-up Chaser, in turn giving Remus his needed pracctice and fine-tuning.  
  
Nah, it's alright. I'm pretty nasty myself when I'm angry, ask my brother... Hell, I could kill someone. he said in more honesty that James would ever know.  
  
  
_Rom, what'll happen if they find us? Nine years old and shivering in the blistering snow, Remus Lupin lit a fire by way of his stolen wand. The two reunited boys scurried up to the tiny flame, trying to stay warm.  
  
They let mum go, I dug around in a few files at a police station somewhere south of London. They're still looking for us though... Our picture's were up at a market. he said, lips blue.  
  
But I didn't mean to kill him...  
  
They wont care Remus, not at all. The fact that you were defending yourself wont even occur to those idiots. We'll be sent to Muggle prison, or the Ministry will come in and... Remus started sniffling, not from the cold, but from fear that he would be separated from his brother again.  
  
Ah, don't go crying about it. Romolus snapped, rolling his eyes. Ruefully, he sat closer to his brother for warmth, and draped part of his own battered cloak over his shoulders.  
  
It'll be fine, we've been doin' alright this long. And besides, they'll give up eventually. he said encouragingly.  
  
Remus asked weakly, trying to keep the fire blowing in the wind.  
  
I'm positive.  
  
Remus smiled, and leaned on his brother shoulder. In a manner of minutes, the shivering little werewolf was sleeping contentedly, drooling a bit.  
  
Maybe we can go visit mum soon. he told himself, adding a bit of snowy wood to the fire they camped by in the back alley.  
  
  
  
_Remus, look- James shouted. Remus snapped back to reality, but was hit rather hard with a fast-flying Quaffle, he toppled off his broom again, and landed in the two feet of snow. James jumped down from a high distance, rushing to his friend.  
  
Oh my God, are you alright? he asked, worried that he had caused any damage. Remus grinned, face down in the snow, and sprang up. Within minutes a full-blown snow war was under way, and each boy enlisted the aid of several passing students.  
  
  
  
God, you call that food? Remus joked, poking at his lasagna fearfully. Romolus shrugged, and sat down at the table.  
  
Hogwarts has spoiled you, eh? Hell, I remember when we used to take garbage and treat it like a feast. he said with a smirk. Remus laughed, glad to be rid of those days.  
  
No, really... This isn't food. he repeated, popping a quick spell. The once crusty and over-cooked noodle was insatntly almost gourmet, dripping in thick sauce and cheese.  
  
How'd you...  
  
While you dug in trash, I stole magic cook books. Remus said with an evil grin.  
  
And you _let_ me eat scraps while you feasted? Romolus sputtered.  
  
You never asked.  
  
  
So how's Hogwarts? he asked after a while, still fuming mentally over the food issue.  
  
Better than I thought it'd be.  
  
Man, I wish I could go back and finish up. Four years was way too short. he said with a deep sigh, smiling in fond memory.  
  
Why don't you? That'd be pretty cool, having you up there and all. A fifteen year old shouldn't have to have a full-time job and support his little brother. Remus pointed out.  
  
Hell, I was never fifteen. I've been the father since, well, you killed the real one. And I don't have one regret, well, other than not being around as much as I wanted.  
  
But you shouldn't have to worry about that stuff. said Remus, sipping his conujured tea thoughtfully. You should be worrying about girlfreinds and your hair and stuff. Quidditch rubbish, all that lot. Not your salary and how to get your troublesome brother from being expelled from Hogwarts.  
  
Look, I don't mind. Four years of Hogwarts was enough for me, I know all the magic a seven year graduate would. We've always crammed. Romolus said with a shrug. Mum homeschooling you realy early and all, we both picked up quick.  
  
Yeah, she never thought I'd be accepted. Remus mumbled.  
  
Dumbledore's a good man... But hey, lighten up. It's almost Christmas, you're supposed to be cheerful eh? Stop worrying about everything, be a kid for once. he said with a laugh. Care to try that rematch at chess? I went nerd and read a strategy guide, I think I can get your goddamn-  
  
You're a git if your going to tell me your gameplan. Remus said in a pensive tone, Summoning the Muggle set from the corner.  
  
You know what Rem? You're too smart.  
  
If I was smart I wouldn't have to constantly worry about someone finding out about me.  
  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Thanks a whole lot for reading everyone! I really like having people who enjoy this, it means a lot to me. TGKTG, Lynx, VanishStar, all of you guys! I'll keep it coming as logn as someone out there is reading! Someone write to me, e-mail! I'll talk about anything!!! AlyssaC7@aol.com  
  
o_O  
  
  
  
  
LEAVE A REVIEW!  
  
  
  
Iggie**  



	8. Part VIII Crystalline

A/n- here's eight for you. Thanks to everyone reading!!!!!  
  
Rating-PG-13, though this one MAY swear a smidgen. Sorry!  
  
Disclaimer- Rowling and all respective owners have full possession of Harry Potter and related material. I in no way intend any copyright violations nor am I making any money whatsoever off of this (XP).  
  
Chapter Keywords- Christmas, James+Lily, revelations and very evil Carlison. o_O  
  
  
PLEASE disregard my grammar problems, I know I have a ton. Hey, I'm fourteen for God's love, and I don't exactly pay attention in Language Arts... o_O  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part VIII - Crystalline  
  
  
  
  
Remus awoke at long before the sun Christmas morning. It was his habit to rise early, and stay up late, as result of years of constant travel. He staggered into the showers, stood under the inviting water for a few minutes, and finally changed into his finest robes. But upon seeing the pile of gifts at the foot of his bed, he let out a startled sort of squeak, and interrupted James' insistent snoring.  
  
he mumbled, looking about as though a killer was in the room. He rolled his eyes, yawned very deeply, and rolled out of bed onto the floor, entwined in his sheets.  
  
Cho up s'early for? he mumbled, trying to find his glasses. Remus stayed where he was, gapping open mouth. He hadn't had presents in a long time, years, since he had still had a family. Romolus never knew where he was while they were traveling all the time.  
  
Cho neva see presents b'fore? James said with a droggy smile. He began to tear at his own pile after freeing himself from his bed sheet prison, carelessly throwing bits of coloured paper all about the room. Remus sat down slowly, picked one up marked from Peter and Sirius, and carefully removed the wrappings.  
  
No, just... Shred it. James said, rolling his eyes. He tore a bit of Remus' package as a sarcastic example, and went back to his own mound of gifts.  
  
Half an hour later, Remus had a very large collection of Ultra-Potent Dungbombs and a huge stash of chocolate Frogs and Every Flavor Beans. James and Alex had chipped in and bought him a wizards chess set (that cost more than anything Remus owned, he thought to himself) that was made of beautiful rosewood and carved stone. Lily had gotten him a Muggle book he had started on the road before, but never finished. Romolus though, had shocked the colour out of his cheerful face.  
  
Oh my God... he muttered in awe, plucking the broom from it's tissue-paper wrapped package. He overlooked the fact that it was secondhand, a few series old, and had broken twigs at the end. The polish Romolus had tirelessly rubbed on gave it a brand new shine, and he had even bothered to apply a fresh coat of gold lettering along the faded handle.  
  
Pretty nice. James said approvingly.  
  
How'd he afford it? Remus asked aloud. He could barely afford to feed himself and pay back debt's to Shelly, he couldn't have bought the broom on his tiny salary. He plucked the note, and snorted to himself.  
  
  
_No I didn't steal it, probably the first thing you thought you stupid git. I've been saving Sickles for a long time, so don't go busting it up. Anyway, hope you have fun and whatnot, but I can't write long. I have to work tonight... Goddamn boss has no heart, I swear. Seeya Moony.  
  
Forever in debt,  
  
Romolus  
  
_  
he said simply, running his hands along it in wonder.  
  
  
  
A few people watched with raised eyebrows as Remus ate. He had been out flying all day, taking perfect care not to bend a twig on his broom, and hadn't eaten lunch. His canine appetite went into overdrive, and he was gobbling down stacks of ham and roasted beef at a rate unseen by the Gryffindors.  
  
James said with a shrug as Lily sat down next to him, smiling.  
  
It was a shock to the male populous as far as what James had gotten Lily for Christmas. All of Lily's Slytherin friends-and everyone else for that fact-expected him to buy the most expensive thing he could find and expect it to be perfect. But instead he had spent well over two days of valuable vacation time slaving over Transfiguration books and Charm notes from last month. The product was a slightly off-center lily-shaped necklace pendant he had made from a shiny Sickle. Remus had helped with the colour-charm, it swirled every few seconds to a new shade, and had wrapped it as well. James' attempt at gift wrapping was a laughable similarity to shreds of paper and excessive tape.  
  
What's new? I haven't seen you around all day. Lily said to Remus, sipping her pumpkin juice.  
  
He's been out obsessing over his new broom.  
  
Ah, boys and their toys. Lily sighed. She fingered her necklace importantly for a while, watching as Dumbledore cleared his throat at the Head Table, about to give speech.  
  
Remus dozed off a little, eyes half open and mind fogged with thoughts. He watched, as though from far away, as Lily and James flirted annoyingly, Dumbledore went on about something, and the Slytherins giving him short glances. He reached out to the platter of steak, and idly grasped the fork.  
  
he yelled loudly, snapping back to reality. His face flushed red as every head in the Hall turned on him, though his hand hurt too much to notice as much as he might have. He put his two burning fingers in his mouth, not remembering that silver shouldn't hurt a normal wizard. Looking them over as Dumbledore went on, and the gazes diverted, he whimpered quietly at the searing white marks in diminishing pain.  
  
He also didn't notice that James was looking at him in an all new light.  
  
  
  
Are you really going to visit mum? Remus asked, his hand dipped in a bucket of ice as he sat at the kitchen table, directing his pieces about the new chessboard with his elder brother.  
  
I haven't seen her since I started Hogwarts back when, thought it might be decent of me to check up on her. he replied with a thoughtful shrug.  
  
Remus said shortly, promptly taking Romolus' last knight.  
  
You know, I'm never going to beat you. he mused.  
  
You will eventually. he said with such certainty that he almost scared himself.  
  
You know, you've been acting rather odd. Romolus remarked with a curious glint in his eyes.  
  
Don't look at me like that. he said as he took his hand out of the ice, looking at the peeling skin identical to on that of his other hand from the other fork accident'.  
  
That's the same glare Mendell gives me every day. he muttered.  
  
Really? Why?  
  
Something about Seeing the Talents and a load of dung. I don't know, I'm in it for the easy marks. God knows Carlson's gonna fail me on purpose. he snorted, smiling to himself.  
  
Across the table, as he made a perfect check on Remus, Romolus fought to conceal a grin.  
  
Check, my dear brother.  
  
How'd you-What-  
  
  
  
  
  
As the holidays passed, so did all cover Remus had on his lycopanthy. James was back to no good, for no reason, and he had the help of Sirius once again. Carlsons long lessons on the miniscule details of werewolves didn't help the matters any more either.  
  
They're deathly allergic to silver, it boils their skin. It creates white blisters upon contact, which will eventually develop into a thick callous before disappearing after a week or so. he said in an icy tone, smiling his crooked smile to the class. Everyone copied their notes tediously, even Remus, who knew the lesson far better than anyone else ever would. Had Remus not been sitting right in front of James, he would have noticed the curious glances and attempts to catch a glimpse at his clenched hands.  
  
They are also naturally immune to many sicknesses, though it is more a habit of genetics than unanimous trait. Remus smiled, thinking faking ill would also come in handy at any given time had James dig up any suspicions.  
  
They are also, he said, glaring right at Remus with his cold eyes. Abnormally strong. Said to have the strength of ten men, aren't they, Mr. Lupin?  
  
Yes sir. he grumbled, copying down his words, trying very hard not to break his quill. Or his Professors neck for that fact.  
  
Now, once a werewolf is identified... Mr. Potter, you'd be wise not to pass notes in my classroom. he snapped. James bit his lip, muttered an apology, and went back to listening attentively.  
  
Once a werewolf has been identified, there are many simple ways to kill it. Muggles, as they are partially aware of their existence, are fools about it. There is no way to physically kill a werewolf in combat, as their strength can crack a neck without effort. Remus shivered, remembering just such an instance.  
  
The most successful way to dispose of the creature in question is to shoot them with a silver, or silver coated, as it has the same effect, bullet. If it is lodged in the skin for long enough a period, it will kill them in minutes. They can also be warded off by certain charms and restraints, though I cannot teach them to you yet. he announced to the dismay of many. Breathing irregular, Remus swallowed, face covered in beads of sweat. His hands were clenched tightly, nails digging into his palms.  
  
Carlson asked as Peter daringly put his hand up.  
  
Why do they kill them sir? Wouldn't it be possible to just catch them and wait for the moon to wane? he asked in a startling display of brilliancy never before seen by his peers. Carlson frowned, and gave the boy one of his murderous stares.  
  
They're werewolves, it would be useless ot just catch them. Disposing of them saves innocent lives.  
  
But sir... They're regular people when it's not the full moon, right? a Ravenclaw asked wearily.  
  
Have you not been listening? They're a threat to society, a disgrace! he nearly yelled, making everyone go silent.  
  
You'd do the world a favour by shooting it. They do nothing but cause trouble, and there is no place in society for such beasts.  
  
Closing his eyes, Remus took in a long breath, trying to calm himself, and his fidgeting stomach, down.  
  
Are you alright? Sirius whispered from next to him as Carlson had his back turned, barking down at someone.  
  
Yeah... Fine. he said weakly, resting his head in his hands.  
  
You're really pale. Sirius noticed, leaning closer.  
  
And your eyes are all dilated... You sick or something?  
  
With a mental smile, Remus bent over, and lost the vast majority of his breakfast.  
  
  
  
  
Remus, is something the matter?  
  
Hello Headmaster. he said quietly, wishing he didn't have to be confined to the bed for the night.  
  
This is your second time falling ill in class recently... Mr. Potter tells me they were both during werewolf discussions.  
  
Weak topic. he said shortly, fuming. Dumbledore sighed, and shook his head.  
  
You would be wise to keep low for a while Mr. Lupin, I do not think we can afford letting this out so early. he warned in a very subtle manner.  
  
Alright sir.  
  
Nurse Ahmand had come over, handing him a cup of potion.  
  
The full moon's tomorrow, do you want to just stay here the night? It'd let on to everyone that you really are sick. she suggested.  
  
  
  
He staggered back on his own, not waiting for nurse Ahmand to arrive. It hadn't been a good moon, he had been too preoccupied before the transformation. The fraction of his human mind was full of hostile and worried thoughts, and he had scratched himself all night, howling viciously. Taking no notice of the small trickle of blood trailing down his arm, he bit back his pain in his twisted leg, and made way to the Gryffindor Tower to sleep in his own bed.  
  
  
  
Turning around slowly, he found James and Sirius blinking at him in confusion right in front of the Fat Lady. In his hand, he held the unfinished Marauders map, looking at it in a daze.  
  
Remus, what's going on? James asked quietly, not allowing him to enter the Common Room.  
  
Nothing. Lemme sleep. Remus said in a daze, angry all of a sudden.  
  
Not until you tell us why you've been acting up. Sirius declared firmly, taping at the map.  
  
That charm you did, that tells where people are, we fixed it. We saw you leave the Infirmary, go off the bounds, and come back this morning. Now. What's going on?  
  
Nothing. C'mon, I'm really tired... he mumbled, trying to shove them aside. Without even meaning to, he slammed Sirius against the wall very hard. He stood up after a moment, rubbing his head where it had collided with the stone.  
  
The hell? he cursed.  
  
C'mon James... Let me get in. he asked. He shook his head firmly, and held out one of Romolus' notes.  
  
Remus, we figured it out. This proves it. Remus snatched the letter, stuffed it in his pocket, and nudged his way to the sleeping Fat Lady.  
  
Stop trying to hide it! James said loudly, grabbing him by the shoulder. With a sinking heart, Remus gained full awareness of the situation as the last of his canine mind faded. Eyes dilating, he crouched against the wall, looking horrified.  
  
We figured it out. Sirius concluded, still rubbing his head. We know what you've been hiding.  
  
I... I haven't...  
  
Remus, it's over.  
  
In a fearful and out of character leap, he tackled James to the ground, mind lost in panic.  
  
  
_Remus! Get off of him! he shouted, trying to pry his little brother from the teenager. He was received by a backhand that sent him hurtling towards a tree, in which he collided with violently. Remus turned back to his prey, teeth barred in between wolf and man.  
  
Remus, come on! You're going to kill him! Romolus yelled, trying to regain himself. In a blur he watched the double figures in front of him, not able to see straight. Stop it! You're gonna kill him! he pleaded again, seeing his brother take a swipe. He didn't remember how it had happened, or why, but now was what mattered. The young man cried out one last time before his head cracked with the ground, he he fell limply to the side. Romolus staggered forward, and slapped Remus across the face while he had the chance.  
  
Oh my God... What've I done? he asked, eyes tearing. Disgusted with himself, he dashed off, running at such a speed his brother didn't have a chance of ever catching him.  
  
At least he's alive. Romolus said in shaken voice, drawing his hand back from the boys wrist. Remus, what am I supposed to do with you? he whispered into the early morning fog.  
  
  
  
_Remus! Come back- Remus! James shouted, running with all his might after the boy. Sirius finally gave up trying to catch him, and tugged at James' robes to slow him down.  
  
Too fast. he huffed out, gasping for breath. The watched the Marauders Map, seeing the little blob of ink dash out of the school grounds and out of the area.  
  
Come on, I think I know where he's going. There's a shortcut. James said after a moments thought. The two raven-haired troublemakers went off in the opposite direction, bound for the second-floor picture of Sir Alamando.  
  
  
  
Rom... Please! Think of _something_! he pleaded, eyes wide in fear. He was shaking involuntarily, shivering though there was no cold. His hair was still gruffed from his transformation, little trails of blood were dried on his forehead, and he looked as though he had come out of a loosing fight.  
  
I can't! God, you had to screw it up didn't you? Jesus Christ Remus, things were starting to get NORMAL! Auuggh! Rom yelled, pulling at his own untidy hair in frustration. He made a hasty apology for yelling, but went on without offering any solutions.  
  
Well we can't go to Dumbledore. Or anyone! That bastard you thought was a friend will tell everyone, we'll have to scramble. There's no way we could travel safely once it gets let out-  
  
I'll go. Now. Remus decided, sitting up in his chair. You shouldn't have to leave because I blew it. Go back to Hogwarts, live the normal life I stole from you. I can get to Canada on my own, maybe it won't-  
  
His plan was interrupted as James knocked on the door, and opened it on his own. Sirius followed him inside, looking very strangely at Remus and his brother.  
  
  
Stop trying to hide it Remus, there's no point. James said before Remus could manage an excuse.   
  
He slumped against the wall, eyes flaring out of vision. With a sinking heart, he realized his battle was lost before it had truly begun.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Sorry this is a short one, I had to cut it off a bit! Well, any comments and suggestions are welcome, and if I'm making any repeated grammatical errors, SOMEONE TELL ME! Thanks for reading, and contact me if ya wanna chat or the like. o_O  
  
Iggie**


	9. Part IX Of Tomorrow Come

A/n- Back AGAIN! Wow this thing is going pretty long, isn't it? I had honestly expected to drop it a few chapters ago, but, well, here I am! Anyway, thanks for reading thus far, and I promise to dish out as long as someone's reading!  
  
Disclaimer- Ah, but alas, I own nothing. NOTHING. :( Plain and simple. Rowling and all respective owners are in full custody of all Harry Potter related things... Lucky them o_O  
  
Rating- PG-13 for language  
  
Chapter Keywords- Rommie, Lily conflicts, semi-evil plots, Severus Snape, clueless Peter.  
  
Note- I'm going on a school trip, so this will take a few extra days to complete. But since it IS a weekend, I might be bale to post Sunday night/Monday morning. Sorry if it's late!  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part IX - Of Tomorrow Come   
  
  
  
Look, Im gonna go get Dumbledore... Or someone. Gotta get out of here before you little demons drive me insane. Romolus said after one and a half long hours of yelling and short sentences. He left promptly, through a passage to the school he had known since his years. James and Sirius sat at the table, faces white and patience dropping by the minute. Remus had himself hunched in the corner in a childish way, still having trouble accepting the reality of it all.  
  
What do you want from me? he finally whispered to break the silence. The two boys blinked, confused at what he meant.  
  
Sirius said in a brilliant display of intelligence.  
  
What do you want? What'd I do... And why are you doing this? He staggered out each question slowly, as he could not think straight to word them properly.  
  
Doing what? he asked again, eyebrows raised in a bemused manner.  
  
What do you want from me? Remus tilted his head up, eyes wide and face the colour of pale parchment. He was shaking, the boys noticed, and hugging his knee's for security. It was like watching a scared young child lost in a grocery market.  
  
Remus, we don't want anything... We're just pissed. James finally said after a moments thought  
  
And why the hell are you mad? Your life isn't screwed to a thousand pieces. he murmured.  
  
You didn't trust us for starters. Sirius said, frowning. He sat there, in a deep state of thought never before seen on his face, tapping his fingers against the oak table. He sighed in an irritated sort of way, and furrowed his eyebrows.  
  
What, thought we'd be little back-stabbing Slytherins? Or more, per say, nasty bastards like Severus Snape? Hm? he said after receiving a glare from James on the subject of Slytherins.  
  
Really, he's right. James said after a moment. Why didn't you trust us? We might've been able to help.  
  
Like I can trust anyone. Once the school finds out I have to get my ass out of here. Again. Remus said miserably. It would mean more time on the streets for him, an era he had hoped to have given up for the better. More time away from any chance at a normal life he might have had.  
  
_  
  
  
Look, Remus, just listen to me. he shook him by the shoulders, snapping him to attention. If we try and get to mum, we'll forfeit any chance we have at normal life. This is what we live now, we can't change it.  
  
But it's my fault! I killed dad... I did everything wrong. he snapped angrily, prodding at his meal of cold steak and a cup of apple juice.  
  
Brooding on past deeds isn't going to get us anywhere. Romolus said wisely, shaking his head in a solemn way. We live how we live, we can't change that.  
  
Yes we can. Remus said seriously. We can write our own fates, Gram always told us that. No one can make us do anything we don't want to.  
  
You want to rush in to Hogwarts and say that a werewolf has the rights to an education? Romolus snapped. They'll kill you, plain and simple. Stop running on over what's already done. We have to fix our problems now.  
  
  
  
  
  
Why is it you act more like a father than ours ever did?  
  
Because if you can't trust me, you're screwed over little brother.  
  
  
_  
  
So we aren't good enough huh? James snapped. Sirius hit him in the arm, shaking his head.  
  
Look, I, we, don't understand why you didn't tell us. Did you think you hide something like this? Sirius said seriously. It's an insult to our character... Come on Remus, we're your friends, your _supposed_ to tell us this shit. he said after a moment.  
  
Remus looked up bleakly, eyes red, with a horrified look about his face. It was as though he had never even considered the thought before, thinking it some ludicrous, foolish theory.  
  
And then he realized they were telling the truth.  
  
  
  
Seriously Remus, I don't understand. James interrupted. What was there to gain by putting yourself through hell so long? I mean, come on... You had to find your way out at some point. You've been staring at the gate but refusing to waltz right through.  
  
And in less poetic terms, Sirius said with a grin. You should have just trusted us from the start.  
  
I've never had friends to trust. Remus said honestly, biting his quivering lip. If... If I ever told anyone, I'd have to move really far and really fast. Lying was my only chance before... he sputtered. You don't know what it's like... They'd hang me, shoot me if they found out. Even Muggles know about werewolves, I'd be dead. The world has such a hatred for my kind...  
  
We don't. Sirius said shortly, trying to the best of his ability to cheer him up.  
  
So... If I lied, and stayed to myself, I'd stay alive. he said in a shaken tone, rocking himself back and forth. I couldn't tell anyone...  
  
God Remus, we're not the rest of the world! So you go nuts once a month, hell, that doesn't change who you are. Sirius concluded. What, did you think we were gonna tell the whole school? he said sarcastically. Remus nodded very slowly, and both the boys looked hurt.  
  
You are one very socially deprivant kid, eh? James said, shaking his head.  
  
We didn't tell anyone. We didn't even tell Peter, or Lily. he said. And we aren't going to either, not without your consent.  
  
  
  
Sirius smiled, as did James, and they both sat down in front of their confused friend.  
  
I don't know what part of this hasn't dug its way into your little mind. We. Don't. Care.  
  
We like you for who you are. Besides, this adds a bit of spice to life. Hogwarts was starting to get a little dull anyway. James said with a shrug.  
  
So... You don't care? Remus managed to say, biting his lip very hard.  
  
He is a bit of a git, eh?  
  
James concluded, smiling.   
  
Remus sat, frozen to his spot, mouth slightly ajar. For a long while, he just stared off into oblivion as his mind tried to sort everything out.  
  
You don't? he said quietly into space.  
  
James, I quite think he's lost his mind.  
  
Did he ever have it?  
  
Good point...  
  
  
  
  
God damn gargoyle. Romolus muttered, walking in.   
  
He half expected to find James and Sirius unconscious on the floor, or something worse.   
  
He instead found a trio of third-years battling for the lone butterbeer in the fridge.  
  
What the hell? he mused, raising an eyebrow. He was greeted by a surprisingly cheerful Remus, and two very overactive black-haired boys almost as tall as he was.  
  
Remus said with a smile, easily wrestling the can of butterbeer from Sirius' hands. With a shrug he handed it to his brother, who downed the entire thing in one gulp.  
  
Someone please explain.  
  
_  
  
Why do you have to leave? Remus pouted irritably, shuffling his feet and kicking at a pebble as he walked along the platform at Kings Cross.  
  
I have to learn magic you prat.   
  
But I can do magic, and I didn't go to Hogwarts. Come on, please don't go. I hate living on my own. he mumbled as they passed through the barrier. They were greeted by a mob of busy families all giving farewells to their relations, owls hooting nosily as they went.  
  
You'll be fine. I left you my account key if you really need it, but I need most of the money for school. Just find a tiny town and get a good shop to steal from. Romolus said simply. Before Remus could even mutter a protest, his brother toiled down on him.  
  
Stay out of trouble this time! I can't come to the rescue anymore, you have to learn to do things on your own. he said in a stern tone, unfit for an twelve year old. Don't trust _anyone_, alright? Remus?  
  
he grumbled, looking up with an empty hearted smile. His brother let out a sigh, roughed his hair, and dashed off for the whistling engine.  
  
Remember to find a shelter! he yelled through the window. Remus could only wave bleakly as the train pulled away, ripping him apart from the only family he had ever known.  
  
I wont. he promised as the platform emptied . He stood alone, still looking after the train tracks, the huffs of floating smoke. Never trust anyone. he repeated to himself, engraving the law in his mind._  
  
  
  
Mr. Lupin, where on Earth have you been? nurse Ahmand snapped as he dragged himself inside.  
  
You need to dead bolt that door, with a silver lock... I think I got out, when I came to I was halfway into the Forbidden Forest. he lied in a very convincing manner. The nurse nodded her head in an apologetic way, and ushered him to a bed.  
  
Are you alright? Poor dear, you must have gotten in a fight... Nasty creatures in the Forest. I'll take care of the lock right away.  
  
He smiled one of his now well-practiced pity looks, giving an innocent sort of smile, and sat down as she went off to find a potion for him. After he left with an excuse from classes for rib injuries, he made way back for Romolus' tiny shared home, and knocked on the door.  
  
  
  
You know, thing's might work out for once. his brother said optimistically, chewing on a plastic straw as he sacrificed a pawn.  
  
Really. This could be a good thing, they can help. I can't be there all the time for you, and I doubt you want the teachers at your heels all the time... Having someone who knows might be a gift from fate.  
  
I don't know. James is really weird when he's mad, he can hold this against me for the next few years. Remus muttered.  
  
Stop being such a God damn pecimist! Romolus interrupted, waving his hand in agitation. Look, you should be thankful you have people who care enough about you to risk their normal lives to help you out.  
  
Like you? Remus asked weakly, looking down.  
  
I didn't mean it like that... With a sigh, Romolus bent forward, and hit his brother on the head.   
  
Look, there's nothing in the world that would make me change what I've done. Your my brother for God's sake Rem, stop pretending you're a burden to me. You aren't, and I don't have any regrets at all. he said sternly, going into one of his paternal moods again.  
  
They meant what they said, I know it. Trust them, ok?  
  
  
  
  
  
Not really.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
All throughout the week Remus waited, as if expecting his friends to betray their word. His mind screamed that they would tell, that he was a fool for believing in them. he put himself to shame when he finally accepted that they weren't going to back down.  
  
  
_It's funny Rom, really. All my life I've been afraid to death to try and have friends. They might not be perfect, or sane for that fact, but hell... I've been missing out.   
  
  
  
_ James said near the end of March, helping Remus to his feet. Him and Sirius had made habit of sneaking out very early after the full moon and checking up on their friend before the nurse got to him.   
  
Here, your head's bleeding a bit. sirius said, conjuring up a white washcloth. They had spent a while locked din the library, trying to learn a load of complicated charms and such that might help at some point for Remus. He smiled gratefully, and rubbed the blood off his face.  
  
Rough night, eh?  
  
he mumbled, voice raspy from howling all through the dark hours. It had been a nasty phase, being the season moon.  
  
You don't have to come out every time. I'm used to being on my own. he said hoarsely after a moment.  
  
We told you, you great prat, we're friends. We're supposed to do this kind of thing. James reminded, slipping under Remus' arm to help him walk.  
  
Besides, how many times do you get to be partners-in-crime with a werewolf? I mean, really, someone who can turn into a vicious beats as a friend is a nice conversation piece. he grinned, and pat Remus on the back lightly.   
  
  
  
  
Sorry, _Professor_. James said with a smirk. Remus had further deployed his misheif-brilliance with remote Dungbombs. He had made a modified Charm of his own, and James and Sirius had devised the perfect plot involving such. Several of some prototype Dungbombs Zonko's had sold them were located all about the room, to be set off at the Marauders leisure. Peter had been chosen as the detonator, mostly because if he got caught Carlson wouldn't be bale to drag the others along for the detentions. Right in the middle of a vampire lecture, Peter tapped his wand three times under the desk, and pointed it in the general direction of the bomb, muttering the ignition. It exploded with such intensity that Carlson had been thrown backwards, crashing into James' desk. Accidentally', his textbook had toppled off the surface and landed with a thud right on the Defense Professors head.  
  
Whoever did that, I would suggest you tell me now before I find out. he snapped, glaring at James and Sirius in a murderous manner. The boys managed to keep straight faces, after having years of practice they could look very innocent (though they rarely were). Remus was thankful he was glaring them down, as he was having an extremely hard time fighting back a bout of laughter. In the back of the room, Lily was also struggling to remain calm, knowing very assuredly who the culprit was.  
  
Mr. Lupin, after class. he snapped. he mumbled, not having a valid excuse this time and he didn't really feel like reminding that he had no evidence at all against him.  
  
He didn't do it. Peter piped from his eat quietly. James and Sirius looked at him oddly, in an admiring sort of way.  
  
He didn't do it. James finally said.  
  
Then you three may see me after class. Lupin, you're off this time.  
  
  
  
You didn't have to do that you know. Remus grumbled at dinner, idly poking his food around the plate.  
  
Sirius shrugged. I had a detention coming anyway, might as well keep your record clean... Well, clean_er_. he laughed.  
  
If at all possible, don't let your comrades fall. James said in another strange outburst of philosophy. It was the conclusion of Sirius that he was around Lily and her Muggle books too much, but they hadn't any solid evidence against the case as of yet.  
  
Sides, trying to proves you're being paranoid over nothing. Sirius added.  
  
But what about Peter? You didn't-  
  
No we didn't tell him, have a little faith, eh? He's just being a stupid git. James said with smirk.  
  
  
  
It's been done. Mendell said later that week, smiling oddly at Remus as the class piled into to scented room. He rolled his eyes to himself, and tried to busy himself with the planetary charts.  
  
You will See it eventually. she mused in her airy, annoying voice.  
  
See what? Remus finally snapped, fed up with the nonsense from the entire year.  
  
I am not at liberty to tell you... But you will See eventually. Have patience.  
  
Sorry, I'm right out lousy at being patient...  
  
  
  
_Remus,  
  
Hope your friends aren't being complete dolts and such forth. I have to go out of town for a while, but I'm leaving some money in the account if you need it for anything. I'll be back by the end of May, I'll write to you and explain later. And don't worry, nothing's wrong.  
  
Rom  
  
  
_What's he up to now? he asked himself, sending Random off with a short reply.  
  
Likely off eloping with Shelly for all I know.  
  
Moony get your arse down here! Sirius called from the bottom of the stairwell. James thinks he has an idea for the Marauders Map!  
  
With a grin, he slid down the stair rail, and plopped down on the floor gracefully.  
_  
_So what'?  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- There, not AS much a cliffhanger as the others! Sorry if it was anti-climatic, I tried... My heart wasn't really into it for various reasons. But thanks a ton for reading, I'm overwhelmed by the response! I submitted it to a fanfiction contest and I made it to the second round, so Im definitely gonna keep going. Just keep on reviewing everyone!!  
  
Thanks a ton everyone (hey that rhymes).  
  
Iggie @ AlyssaC7@aol.com**


	10. Part X Sunset

A/n- Sorry this one is late, I've been out on a trip... Well, with much ado, here it is!  
  
Disclaimer. Iggie takes no claims to Harry Potter. Nor does Iggie make an ounce of money off of this thing... Iggie is sad for this :(  
  
Rating- PG-13 as I swear... o_O  
  
Chapter Keywords- Summer, Marauders conspiring, Quidditch, break from reality.  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part X - Sunset  
  
  
  
Ah man, you _have_ to come stay with us! Sirius said as the train began to fill with students departing for the summer holidays. The year had ended on a bright note for Remus, as for once in his life he had a home and friends to come back to.  
  
I'm staying in Hogsmeade for a while... Romolus is with his girlfriend in London right now, apparently there's some Dark practicers on the rampage down there. So I'm taking up a job at Zonko's, I already talked it out. he said, shrugging. I'll be sure to send you prototypes. he added, the other three boys smiling as they stepped aboard the train door frame.  
  
Well, if you get a chance, write to us. James lets us stay every summer, his place is... Unbelievable. Peter said. After a long bought of goodbyes and well-wishes, the train whistled, and pulled away into the warm afternoon sun. Sighing ruefully, Remus turned on heel and walked back towards Hogwarts to collect his things.  
  
  
Dumbledore said you're welcome to stay here. McGonnagal said as he towed his small trunk into the common room with the aid of a Levitation Charm.   
  
Oh, no, I'm going down to Hogsmeade for a while. he said shortly, shrugging as he went back upstairs for his satchel.  
  
We set up accommodations so you can access the Shack whenever need be. she called as he gave a last look at his dorm before shutting the door.  
  
Thank you. he said in an embarrassed way almost, tugging his floating trunk of belongings with him out the portal. He held his broom over his shoulder, too overprotective to stash it away.   
  
Well, tell your brother I said hello. she said oddly, handing him a small package for Romolus.  
  
Oh, he's away right now.  
  
You're staying on your own? She blinked a few times, eyebrows furrowing underneath the thin glasses. He handed back the envelope, nodding his head.  
  
  
  
  
  
Lupin! Hey, wait a minute! he turned around, and was greeted by his huffing boss. Forgot your paycheck you dolt. he said with a smile, handing over the sealed packet. He opened it as he was bid good day, walking through the busy streets into The Three Broomsticks for a drink.   
  
he muttered, amazed that he had earned so much in only two weeks. He dumped the small pile of Galleons and Sickles on to the table, careful not to such the silver coins, and smiled.  
  
Hey Rosetta, gimme a butterbeer!  
  
  
  
_Rom,  
  
Hope everything is going well with the order business and all. I got my paycheck today- Four Galleons and two Sickles. Pretty soon and we can afford to rent our own place, eh? That'd be nice... If I get the chance, I might go and stay with James for a week or so, hopefully you'll be back by then.  
  
Anyway, what's been up? You'd better come back soon, it's dead boring here. I've actually stooped to heading back to Hogwarts and studying. I know, mutant genetics... Well, I have to go cook Mrs. Cremsaw her dinner, she lets me stay cheap if I help out...   
  
Hope everything is alright,  
  
Remus  
  
  
_  
  
he muttered, looking about in pure awe as he walked through the back room of Quality Quidditch Supply. He had taken up a nightshift as a stock boy for the weekends when it was open well into the next morning for the extra money. He was now the proud owner of a two-bedroom cabin right off of Hogsmeade, and within walking distance of the main square. But the increase in bills resulted in his need for extra Galleons each week.  
  
You actually ridin' that thing? the store manager, a young man with a a burly look, asked his fifth day on. Remus had been sitting on a box of spare broom handles in varying colours, polishing his own broom.  
  
he said in a slightly hurt tone.  
  
God, that's... Old.  
  
It's fine... I can't really afford any better besides it.  
  
  
  
Romolus! Finally! he said happily, punching his brother in the arm. He smiled, and lifted the heavy trunks into the small cabin with complete ease.  
  
Pretty nice place. Need's some decoration... But hell, it's almost a home. he said approvingly, looking around. He looked in the dusty old mirror hanging in the cramped hallway, and frowned at his reflection.  
  
You do look older. Remus agreed, though his brothers comment was not made verbally. Worrying more than I have recently.  
  
Eh, thing's will get better pretty soon. The Ministry managed to round up that band of Dark mages, so I dont have to worry about Shelly's family anymore. he said, sitting down on the couch with a long, deep sigh of relief. He smiled dumbly, and closed his eyes.  
  
I'm going to come back to Hogwarts, for a few months. he announced. I'll start during summer, next week, so I can finish school and not be in your way. I figured I have to start acting my age sometime. he shrugged. Remus smiled, and helped him unpack some of his things into the first-floor bedroom. He shoved the small collection of robes they often shared into a drawer, and smirked.  
  
Romolus, I think Shelly left her, um... Yeah, you might want to get this back to her. he said with a stupid smile. His brother turned his head head from the next room over, went bright red, and Summoned it promptly.  
  
Yeah, she might want that back. Remus repeated.  
  
  
_Remus,  
  
Come on! You have to come this weekend, the Wasps are playing and we all got tickets, an extra for you too! Sirius is already here, and Pete is coming, so think about it, will you? I'm sure you can fit a few days in, and I checked the charts-No full moon, so don't go giving me that rubbish again. Anyway, you're coming whether you like it or not, so just get to Diagon Alley Thursday at noon. We'll meet up, alright?  
  
James  
  
(And you'd better be there Moony, we can track you down you know.)  
  
_He smirked at the last line written in Sirius messy writing, and set down the letter an irritable grey owl had delivered. With a few moments thought, he wrote back a reply on a scrap piece of parchment on the creaky kitchen table.  
  
_James,  
  
I can make the game, but I can't stay... Maybe next year. I have to work this weekend, but I have Sunday off, so I'm up for Quidditch. I'll check with my boss to see when I can leave. I'll see you in Diagon Alley hopefully on time, so sorry ahead if I'm late.  
  
Remus  
  
_  
  
  
  
And Morrison takes the Quaffle!  
  
Remus squirmed in his seat, cheering with the rest of his friends in bliss. It was the second half of the Quidditch game, and the Whimbourne Wasps were obliterating Puddlemore United at a score of 210-60.  
  
Isn't this great? James asked loudly over the roar of cheers that came about as Puddlemore scored a goal.  
  
If United gets the Snitch, they win. Remus noted, looking about for the tiny golden ball through his borrowed Omnioculars. He watched the Puddlemore Seeker, bloody from a Bludger collision, looking about frantically for the Snitch from high above the field.  
  
Ten Sickles the Wasps win. Sirius said as they scored another goal, disabling the Seeker from catching the Snitch.  
  
  
  
_Romolus, where are we going? Don't we have to get some dinner or-  
  
I'm taking you out.  
  
Out where?  
  
To have some fun.  
  
  
  
Jesus, has it been that long since you've done something for the hell of it? he asked, peering down at his confused brother. We're going to a Muggle circus, it's free and I don't feel like getting in trouble with the police again. Besides, I won't get to see you again until summer. the second-year said with a small shrug, shoving his tense sibling through the line of coton candy venders. They stepped into a grand area, a high-top tent filled to the brim with small children and smiling parents.  
  
Remus said simply, looking around.   
  
Come on, we can get some food... I found a few Muggle pounds in the street. Want some peanuts or... That works. he trailed off, shrugging to himself. Remus had gone by one of the cotton-candy men innocently, and grabbed a serving right off the tray without notice.  
  
A while later, after the crowd had settled down and an announcer in a cheap suit came into the ring, Romolus had managed to find front-row seats right in front of one of the three rings. Remus sat, intrigued as much as the six year olds, as he had never seen such a thing in his life. The thought never occurred to him to feel childish, going to a kiddy show, for this was such a new thing for him. Fun.  
  
Remus squeaked as an elephant came by, an elegant dancer high atop its back. A moment later, the gigantic beats was running amok, scared out of it's whits by some natural instinct. Romolus swallowed, and tugged at his brothers hand.  
  
Come on... Before they bring the tigers out. he muttered, towing his sibling along through the frightened crowd. It wasn't until weeks later did Remus realize he had caused the pang of fright that sparked the nasty accident for the dancer and the large creature.  
  
  
  
_No way, Puddlemore has been doing awesome this season! James argued, snapping his friend back to reality.  
  
Yeah, _was_. Note the score. Peter said sharply, watching as the Puddlemore center Chaser took a hit to the head from a Beaters bat. James grumbled something no one could comprehend, and a minute later, smiled smugly as his team scored a brilliant goal by breakaway.  
  
Oh yeah, they're gonna loose alright. he said sarcastically a while later as Puddlemore began a comeback. Sirius grumbled a bit, looking hopefully at the Wasps Seeker, waiting for her to make some brilliant dive.  
  
Unfortunately, for him anyway, it never came. She was busy cursing off the referee over a foul when Puddlemore finally caught the Snitch, and won the game by twenty points. Remus sat, slightly sad that the fun was over and he would have to go home. The pack waited as the crowd piled out of the stadium, discussing the finer points of the hour-long match.  
  
You kids want to get some food? James' caretaker asked as they walked along in the bustling pathway.  
  
Nah, lets go to Sirius' for a while. Kay?  
  
Alright by me. Sirius said, smiling as James had forgotten the ten-Sickle bet.  
  
Be back by ten, or I'll track you down. Besides, I know where he lives by now. the adult said, smiling as he set up a Portkey for the kids out in the Disapparating Lot.  
  
  
  
So how exactly does it work? Peter asked for the tenth time that night. They had all crammed into Sirius small bedroom, lying on the thick carpet over the still in-progress Marauders Map. James hit him across the head, rolling his eyes.  
  
You're thick as a rock, you know that Pete? Sirius muttered, digging through a shelf of books for something while once again they had to explain the map to Peter. With a nasty grin, he pulled out a very volumous book, covered in dust and dog-tagged in several corners.  
  
  
You have GOT to be kidding! James said, wide-eyed as he read through the discoloured pages.  
  
I mean, come on... This is illegal! Not Hogwarts detention-illegal... More or less lock you up and pay a hefty ifne illegal. he said with a grin, not caring one way or the other if it would involve breaking several laws. Not to mention impossible! he added, flipping through the intricate directions.  
  
Aw come off it, it'd be fun as hell if we could manage it! Sirius said, rolling over on his back. And it could help Remus, that's why I suggested it in the first place. he said defensively. Remus looked up at mention of himself, snatched the book away from James, and blinked.  
  
Don't even THINK about it. That's so dangerous, no way. Never. he repeated, trying to shut the book. Sirius grabbed it back from him, and turned a few pages while rambling on.  
  
Look, I know enough about werewolves to say it can help a lot. You'd be calm while with animals to some extent, right? I read about a guy who stayed with a pack of real wolves when he transformed, that way he'd never hurt anything outside of a rabbit. Seriously, we could roam around and stuff and never have to worry. Since we wouldn't be human you'd never try to bite us.  
  
You'd have to be a complete idiot to think you can master Animagism, and not to mention without anyone noticing! I mean hell, that's supposed to take _years_ to learn, even with watch from the Ministry. And you can _die_, alright? Don't even try it.  
  
He groaned in dismay as James and Sirius sported identical grins, both looking at each other maniacally. Peter looked on in confusion, his mind stressed enough from the Map instructions.  
  
Guys, please... You can't.  
  
Wanna bet?  
  
Not preferably...  
  
Hey Sirius, that reminds me. Cough up the cash.  
  
  
  
  
Hey Rem, where's the stuff on Advanced Transfiguration? Romolus asked loudly from within the Hogwarts library. Dumbledore had given them special access, and thankfully, they had no restraints on how loud they could be while studying.  
  
Two shelves over from the Potions stuff. No, the other way. he called, shutting his own book on fifth year Defense studies. He had reached the conclusion that Carlison would never stop giving him extra work, so he decided to learn everything in advance to save time. James and Sirius got him in so many detentions he had been running thin on time to actually do his work last year.  
  
Man, it's weird being back here... Deju vu or something. Romolus said as he sat back down at the dusty table. He dropped down a stack of huge books, and a packet of worksheets McGonnagal had given him.  
  
I'm only taking a few classes this year, the ones I really need. Already worked everything out with Dumbledore... He's a great Headmaster, you don't know how lucky you are. he said, smiling. Dippet was... Oh God he was horrible. Hated me with a passion.  
  
I've heard stories. Remus said with a fond grin.  
  
Whatever it is, load of dragon dung.  
  
Speaking of which, are you taking Care of Magical Creatures? I was thinking about trying it for a while despite my problem.  
  
Why would I bother, I've been caring for a magical creature once a month for many years. he said with a kind grin, implying no offense towards his brother. I'm doing sixth-year Potions, seventh Transfiguration, seventh Charms, sixth Defense, and a mixed Muggle studies for an easy grade. he said after a moments thought.  
  
Oh no.... Remus' face fell, and he snarled a bit. We're going to be in the same class...  
  
With a grin, Romolus pat Remus on the back, laughing to himself.  
  
You planned that didn't you? Oh, you're gonna get it... I'll sic James and Sirius on you.  
  
  
_Hey Moony-  
  
Dead depressing, isn't it? Classes start in a week... Ah well, we got the Map fine-tuned, I'd send it to you but I don't trust that blasted owl of yours. Nasty little thing... Anyway, just popping a note of warning. James is really serious about the plan, and we're wondering if you'd care to join us in our little escapade. We dragged Peter down, so he's in. Write back so we can work it in.  
  
Sirius  
  
  
DEFINITELY NOT. I still think you're all a bunch of nutters for even attempting. Don't go crying to me when you're stuck with a back of fur and a dog snout. Have fun explaining that one to Bane.   
  
With love and ill-wishes,  
  
Remus  
  
  
  
_Those are a bit small, aren't they? Romolus asked, letting out a sigh as he gazed at his brother. Remus' old robes had long since gotten too short, or torn to bits, but they were having trouble finding secondhand ones that fit properly.  
  
Closest things they have, and they're better than my old set. he said quietly, Banishing them back to the rack and searching for longer ones.  
  
Well, with the money you saved from your second shift, I think we might be able to get new ones... he counted out, the contents of his money bag strewn about the table.  
  
Then you can't afford any, and yours are far worse than mine. I'll live with these ones, they aren't so bad... Maybe Lily can take out a hem for me or something. he said with a shrug, taking them to the counter. Madam Malkin, a young blonde witch with a few pins in her mouth, smiled warmly at him.  
  
Here you are dear, I'll take a bit off. No trouble at all. Remus went red, not comfortable taking pity from strangers, but thanked her repeatedly nonetheless as he collected his bag. Ten minutes later, Romolus carried a sack of his own new clothes and they went hurriedly into the streets of Diagon Alley.  
  
  
You wand's a load of dung. Remus noted as Romolus attempted to conjure himself a glass of water. The spell had backfired, and his wand emitted a jet of sparks instead.  
  
I've had it since I was nine, of course it's a bit beaten. We can't afford anything... It'll do for a few more years until I can get a better job.  
  
God, I bet we're the only people under sixteen worrying all the time about jobs and rent and that. James is lucky as hell, and he takes it all for granted. Remus sighed, setting his things down on a bench as they watched packs of people go by, arms full of expensive new things.  
  
Hey, we're making it on our own. That's priceless, eh? You're not some spoiled little brat who gets a present and frowns. Thing's will work out in a while, once I finish school enough to get better pay.  
  
You've been saying that for years. Remus muttered miserably, gazing longingly at the Quidditch store and its new display. When is it gonna happen?  
  
Someday, honestly.  
  
Yeah, like someday there will be a cure, and someday the Dark will stop trying to take over. Someday's never going to come, is it?  
  
  
_  
  
Rom, come on! He ran on, looking back occasionally. His brother started to fade from his view, not possessing the inhuman speed his younger sibling did.   
  
Hurry up, they'll catch us! he shouted, skidding to a halt. Romolus waved at him, trying to tell him to go on, but he stood his ground.  
  
I wont go without you. Not again. he muttered as he ran slower so they wouldn't loose each other. Sirens rang in the background, and Romolus sped up, breathing erratically in an attempt to keep away from the police.  
  
In here! Remus dragged him into an abandoned apartment building, and with a tense moment, they listened as the screeching sirens went past.  
  
We got away. Remus said after a long while, Romolus still trying to catch his breath.  
  
Yeah... This time anyway. he said shortly.  
  
Oh, they'll give up after a while. They don't have the time to chase us out of town.  
  
You know, someday we'll find a normal little town, and settle in. I'm sick of running all the time.  
  
Maybe someday will come today. Remus said optimistically, digging a bale of food from his pack. Without another word, the two boys made due on their meal of leftovers, neither caring about anything in the world.  
  
  
At least we're safe, and together. Romolus had said later that night as they curled up under the growing moon.  
  
  
  
  
  
_**A/n- Sorry if that was a bit dull, but it sets way for the next chapter. I promise that eleven will be terribly exciting! Really! Well, thanks for reading, and please be so kind as to leave me a review! If you want to discuss my story, anything Harry Potter, or if you just want to ramble endlessly about nothing, drop me a line at AlyssaC7@aol.com.   
  
Iggie**


	11. Part XI New Moon

A/n- Here's chapter eleven (wow this thing is getting lengthy!) for all of you faithful readers. I thank you much for reading!  
  
**THANK YOU EVERYONE! Your kind reviews are the only thing keeping this going! I'm simply overwhelmed by the positive response to this dingy of a fic. o_O And sorry for my nasty spelling and grammar!!**  
  
Disclaimer- As I've said over and over in so many words, i own absolutely nil. Don't even bother trying to say I didn't make this clear, as I've reinstated... You don't care. o_O  
  
Rating- PG-13 for swearing outbursts possibly, I don't know.  
  
Chapter Keywords- Muggle Studies, Marauders gril troubles, Romolus returns!  
ANGST WARNING.  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XI - New Moon  
  
  
  
  
School had started without very much commotion. Romolus had been placed back in Gryffindor, sharing the his old dorm with his fellow sixth-years. Bane hadn't changed his nasty ways in the slightest, and Professor Carlison had even given more extra work this semester. The only real change in class was Muggle Studies in place of the old, tiring Runes, as now he had a firm understanding of his work. he had lived as a Muggle for many years, and was basically there to argue and reinforce everything Professor Hellen said.  
  
I want you all to start reading a Muggle newspaper for a small project. she said the first day. Remus and romolus were sitting next to each other, thinking happily it would be a breeze. But once they started piling over their old hometown news, they had a brilliant idea.  
  
Since mum won't write to us, maybe she'll be in the paper. romolus said at breakfast at the end of the first week. James and the others had accepted him as a normal Housemate, though they were rather shocked initially. Remus had always said he was living with his brother, and Peter expected him to be much older.  
  
What they found, in place of an article about a good samaritan or schoolteacher, was a heartbreak.  
  
Oh my God... Romolus said, swallowing. His face was instantly drained from its tan colour, and his hands started to shake slightly. Remus took the paper from him, curious, and let out a small gasp.  
  
She's... Dead? he squeaked out. The people surrounding him went silent, and James shut his eyes in dreadful memory.  
  
Romolus muttered, shaking his head. Entire place blew up. he said, closing his eyes. Without so much as a word more, both boys paid a silent respect, and went about their meal as normal.  
  
Are... You alright? James asked a few minutes later. The Lupin boys sat silent, looking up every now and then to get more bacon.  
  
they said in chorus, smiling slightly.  
  
Look, I wasn't close to her, at all. I haven't seen her in years besides. Remus shrugged.   
  
We weren't exactly on speaking terms either. Romolus said.  
  
Peter, Sirius, and James specially, sat watching uncomfortably. For a while they whispered to each other, unsure of what to do.  
  
Come on, his mum just died for God's sake... We should, I don't know... Something. Sirius said in a hushed voice.  
  
After a while, the two stood up, and quietly went back to Gryffindor Tower. They didn't show up for classes that day, and at night their dorm mates saw nothing of them except a closed bed.  
  
  
_  
  
  
  
Rom... You can't stay here. she said suddenly, eyes going wide. She refused to move away from the door, not allowing entry for her sons.  
  
We came to visit. Remus said quietly from behind, shoving his way in front of his brother. Wanted to say hi. He looked up hopefully, smiling innocently. The gesture ws not returned.  
  
They're still looking for you. she said, eyes glazing over. Another man died and they think you did it. Get. she pointed off into the distance, past the winding road, and frowned sternly.  
  
But mum-  
  
Just leave, both of you. You aren't part of my life anymore, you left. Now go before the police come and find you.  
  
Disbelievingly, Romolus blinked, confused. She was supposed to have welcomed him with open arms, crying in happiness for seeing them again. Now, now they were being rejected like stray dogs begging for a meal.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_Lupin... Lupin, you're late. the Muggle Studies Professor said quietly the next afternoon. Peter, who had been persuaded to take the class as well, shifted in his seat. It was the first time the two had made themselves noticed since yesterday, and they looked like they'd come out from a loosing fight. Remus' hair was sticking out at odd angles, and his eyes were red and droopy. Romolus didn't look any better, and apparently he hadn't noticed that his shirt was on backwards.  
  
Romolus said, slumping into a chair at the back of the room. Remus took seat next to his friend, absently looking through his bag for his late homework.  
  
You alright? Peter asked in a daft tone, pursing his lips. The words seemed to snap some sense of reality back to Remus, who snapped to attention sharply.  
  
Hm? Oh, yes... Fine. he nodded, and offered a small smile that didn't do much to convince Peter otherwise. He shrugged, and both went back to paying mild attention to the lesson on Muggle reliance on electricity.  
  
  
He seems like he's still asleep or something. Peter remarked during potions later that day. Remus was off at his own cauldron, not paying any attention, stirring as though programed to do only so.  
  
Yeah... Hell, you can't likely blame him though. I mean geez, that's got to suck. Sirius said offhand.  
  
Well remember, he didn't live with her. He said before he hadn't even spoken to her in a long time.  
  
God Peter, don't be so shallow. She was his _mother_, I mean, you could hate her and still take a hit. How would you like it if your mother just suddenly rolled over dead?  
  
New subject please. James said, paling noticeably. He tipped a few drops of green liquid into the boiling water, biting his lip very hard.  
  
Well what should we do? He needs to be cheered up, or something. Him and his brother both. Peter mumbled a few minutes later. James and Sirius looked to each other for a moment, trying to recall some foolproof plan, but came up empty for once.  
  
I don't know. Sirius finally said, shaking his head. Really, I'm bringing up a bl- His words were cut off as Peter pored in the last ingredient with an evil smile, creating a rather large explosion. As the smoke cleared, the boys were found, covered in soot and green slim, laughing hysterically.  
  
Way to go Pete! Sirius said, wiping the foul-smelling grime out of his eyes. James rubbed his filthy glasses on his robes, trying to clean them off. Where his glasses had been was the only clean part on his face, giving him the appearance that he had a mask on. From the corner, Remus looked over, and started to chuckle to himself.  
  
  
Potter, Black, Pettigrew! after class! Bane barked out, trying to fan away the smog. They smiled guiltily, shoving each other about the area.  
  
  
Where are those parasite friends of yours? romolus said, sitting down across his brother in the Common Room, holding the chess board.  
  
Quick game?  
  
They're all in detention, blew up a potion a while ago. he said as he set up the pieces.  
  
Interesting lot of people you hang with. Romolus said with a shrug as his king started complaining about being locked up too long.  
  
I suppose. Remus mumbled as he took a knight on his third move.  
  
So you alright, with mum and all?  
  
I'm fine... At least I didn't kill her. he said quietly, letting out a sigh. We've done without her for a long time, so there isn't any point grieving. Right?  
  
I guess. Romolus said after a moments thought. I'm hungry.  
  
Way to change the subject, O ye of Thought and Depth. Remus snorted.  
  
Well I am.  
  
Want me to snag something from the kitchen?  
  
Nah, I can myself... Oh come on, you didn't expect me to be a do-gooder when I ws here, did you? Geez... I wasn't as bad as Black or Potter, but hell, I had my fair share of run-ins with angry Professors.  
  
  
After a long and amusing encounter with very overeager house elves, the two Lupins made way back to their tower feeling considerably more cheerful. As they walked along chatting, Remus suddenly stopped in his tracks, looking at his map.  
  
romolus asked, mouth full of eclair.  
  
There's a huge gathering of staff right down the hall. everyone I know, and half that I don't...  
  
Staff meeting. he replied after a swallow. They usually do those during meals... Rather odd.  
  
Wanna check it out?  
  
Sure as hell!  
  
  
  
Albus, do you really think it's wise to... Well, things are getting out of hand at the Ministry already.   
  
The boys ducked down outside the staff room, peering into the crack in the door. Many of the Professors were gather around a long, dark oak table, all wearing worried faces.  
  
  
My dear Minerva, we will all be involved, it is inevitable. Dumbledore said, stroking his beard thoughtfully. This is going to lead into a terrible time, it will last for years. If we do not try and stop it now it is going to alter the future. he looked at Professor Mendell for a moment, who was sitting at the end, eyes shut.  
  
With all respect Headmaster, Carlson interrupted, eye's flashing. It would be in the interest of every student here to stay out of the affairs of the Dark.  
  
Experienced as you are in the ways of war Marck, this is my decision. I am going to try and call up an Order again, while we still-  
  
This is a bunch of bullshit! Bane slammed his fist down on the table, shaking his head and spitting slightly as he yelled. You people are making a deal out of nothing! You can't go off and construct a Second Order, destroy everyone's lives on the Light, over a few crackpot fools running amok in London!  
  
A deal over nothing? McGonnagal snapped irritably, raising out of her seat. A hundred and seventy two people died, in one attack. Don't even tell em this is nothing!  
  
Come on... Let's get out of here. Romolus whispered, tugging at his brothers shoulder.  
  
To tell the students would ruin them! The Muggle born children are fresh from their own war, we can't even begin-  
  
Minerva, please. Dumbledore waved his hand, trying to ease hsi staff. All of you, this is the start of a long, Dark period in history. What we decide now can greatly alter what is to come. he warned, letting out a sigh. Many of our pupils already know of the attacks, and the media is sure to catch on soon enough. They cannot hide it, and I will not try to do so.  
  
Albus, there's someone at the door. Professor Mendell said quietly, one eye now open and smiling at the two pairs of eyes dotting the door. The two bolted off before anyone could even move. Halfway to the tower, Remus finally released his grip on his bothers arm, as he had half-carried him the entire flight.  
  
That was nuts. Romolus said after a moment, smiling.  
  
  
  
After taking a brief shower, a soggy Remus emerged into the bustling Common Room. A large pack was gathered around the center, and after much shoving, he discovered James and Sirius gawking over Alex's new birthday present.  
  
Holy Mother... That thing's amazing. I didn't even think they were releasing them to the public yet. Remus muttered, gazing at the broom longingly. He had seen it in a new-model magazine lying around the Quidditch shop while he had worked there.  
  
Did your parents get it for you? Peter asked, fighting his way back into the circle as he was constantly being shoved aside. Alex shook his head, puzzled, and dug around in the wrappings again.  
  
Strange, it doesn't say...  
  
Well don't complain, I mean hell, it's a _Nimbus_! James said, eyes wide and glossy. suddenly, his former top-of-the-line broom didn't seem so grand. It was a gift beyond what his allowance could tolerate, rich as he was.  
  
You gonna go fly it? Sirius asked, bouncing on the balls of his feet excitedly.  
  
I don't know, it could be cursed or- His words were cut off as a half-dozen of Gryffindors carried him out of the room and towards the Quidditch pitch for a late-night trial run.  
  
You know, now that I think about it, life was very normal after Hogwarts. Romolus said with a shrug from behind him. Not to imply that life with you wasn't a bit off, but hey... It's great to be back.  
  
  
  
October came quickly, and with temporary end of Romolus' stay. He received a letter from an old employer, offering a job they couldn't afford to pass up. As he left, as the train pulled away nosily, Remus watched was a rueful sigh.  
  
Everything that's been good in my life is so short-lived. he murmured, turning back around.   
  
At least he's coming back this time, and I'll still be here.  
  
  
_Rom, can we stop pleease? It really, really hurts!_  
  
_Whining isn't going to make the pain go away, and no, we can't stop. We have to get home before it storms, I'm sorry. he said with a slight tone of irritation present. Remus kicked at the snow covered ground, dragging his injured leg behind him. A small thin line went for well over a mile behind, and Romolus turned around to cover it by spell every now and then.  
  
Can we take a quick stop? Just a minute? he asked again a few minutes later. With a sigh, Romolus Summoned a blanket and set it down over an icy rock. They sat in the forest for a few minutes, Remus rubbing ice along his burnt leg, product of a spill of hot chocolate.   
  
Hey Rem?  
  
  
  
You doing alright? he finally asked, the question hanging on his lips for a few moments.  
  
I'm fine.  
  
No, I mean, are you okay with me being gone a lot? I hate it, but I have to stay at Hogwarts for at least another two years. Romolus said quietly.  
  
Nope, I'm fine. Really. Remus said brightly, rubbing his cold hands together and breathing out fog. I get food, and I find places to stay, and I'm really good at stealing things without getting caught. I'll be fine. And cheer up, it's almost Christmas. he said with a shrug.  
  
You're somethin' else little brother, you know that? Somethin' else... Hell, life is interesting enough anyway.  
  
Yup. Okay, let's go. I want to get home, well, to the shelter... Home enough for now, anyway.  
  
  
_The weeks went by, and eventually the Professors began to lay off of him on every subject. McGonnagal had long lost her nervous look after each full moon, Dumbledore didn't check up on him, anymore, and no random strangers asked if he was alright about him mum. And for a brief while, he even thought Professor Carlison was easier on him (Though he learned later it was because of the war threat). During the end of the month Professor Flitwick announced to the class that there was to be a Holloween Ball, much to the dismay of the male populous. James on the other hand seemed almost happy about it.  
  
  
I can't believe you two are still going out. Sirius said at lunch after the announcement. Lily, who had decided to join for the meal, shrugged as James went slightly red.  
  
It's nuts though. Sirius went on, devouring a steak Remus had been eyeing for a few minutes, mentally debating whether to eat it or not.  
  
No one lasts that long, not at Hogwarts. Under sixth year anyway.  
  
My parents dated in high school and got married. Peter offered.  
  
And they got divorced two years after yo were born, so bad example. Sirius noted. But really, how in hell are we supposed to get dates for this thing? they spur it on us with only three days to choose... he trailed off as a bombardment of food was thrown his way by various Houses, all hating the easily most popular guy in school for his so-called predicament'.  
  
You've got a whole line of girls waiting to ask you! Peter moaned, knowing perfectly well no one would ever ask him.  
  
For a while, as they boys and Lily argued over something, Remus stared off into space. Romolus had warned him to avoid girls, as they would be likely to follow his every move and potentially find out about his lycopanthy. But he had never sat down and thought about the fact that unless some huge discovery or cure was made, he'd never be able to have a serious girlfriend, less get married.  
  
  
This sucks. he muttered as a few late owls swooped into the Great Hall.  
  
_Remus,  
  
I'll be back for the last quarter, I'm staying in Denmark for a while. sorry, but it makes good pay and our bank account was getting a bit dusty... I'll come visit for the holidays if I can. Sorry if I don't write much, it's chaotic here and my hours are long. Have fun and don't go getting yourself killed.  
  
Forever doubtful of your ability to survive,  
  
Romolus  
  
_  
And the day just got so much better. he muttered resentfully, slumping his head on the table.  
  
Great start to the year.  
  
  
  
**A/n- Sorry if that was a bit too angst-y for all of you... God knows what possessed me to write all that dead-depressing rubble. Well, anyway, thanks for reading (and LEAVING A REVIEW). If you have any comments or would like to discuss anything, contact me or something. :)  
  
Iggie (Who apologizes immensely for the delay in posting as she has been on a trip)**


	12. Part XII Ephemeral Bliss

A/n- Thanks everyone for reading! keep the reviews coming and I'll keep the chapters coming! And I'll review yours too if you drop me an e-mail at AlyssaC7@aol.com  
  
  
Rating- PG-13 for swearing (this time I really do!)  
  
Disclaimer- Rowling owns it all, baby! **I** own anyone you don't recognize, well, my muses own them, but hey...  
  
  
Chapter Keywords- Dance-dance cha cha cha! Remmie gets some romance, Animagism plots, Dark rising. o_O  
  
**This is Version 1.0 of XII. I might come out with a different one in a few days or so, be sure to keep an eye out!**  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XII - Ephemeral Bliss  
  
  
  
  
As the music pounded in the background, Remus tapped his foot against the stone floor with a sigh. The tables of the Great Hall had been stored away, leaving a very large dance floor and decorative lights everywhere. A few circular tables were already filled as the dance had begun, and Remus was among a small group of dateless students backed against the far wall.  
  
This bites. Alex muttered, brushing a hand through his hair.  
  
Remus replied inattentively, looking about hopefully for someone to dance with. Lily had offered at one point, though the shame of being a wall dancer was far easier to deal with than James' jealous wrath, so he turned her down quickly.  
  
Jesus Christ, how'd PETER snag a chick? Alex mumbled with dismay, hanging his head. Remus looked up, and was amazed to see his less-than-popular friend dancing with one of Sirius' old girlfriends. A rather pretty one, he observed with a sinking heart.  
  
We're the only Gryff's left now. he noticed, looking at the diminishing wall of leftovers. Alex? Hey, you alive? he waved his hand in front of the boys face, and had it shoved away. His Housemate was staring off into the distance, waving back at someone looking directly at him. In another moment, he became the only boy left not dancing or chatting with friends.  
  
Excuse me? You want to, well, dance?   
  
He turned around, smiled gratefully, and nodded his head to the blonde Hufflepuff girl that had been standing next to him for over half an hour. They danced for a while, and as the lights dimmed down, Remus was horrified to realize he was slow dancing right alongside Lily and James.  
  
Hey Rem, finally catch one? James joked, smiling as he swayed back and forth with his girlfriend. Rolling his eyes, Remus lead the girl away out of view of any Marauders or potential harassment.  
  
So how is it you're so different from everyone else? Jamie asked quietly as the slow music went on, her hands cupped around the back of his neck. For a moment Remus panicked, and swallowed after he calmed down.  
  
I don't know. he said simply.  
  
The Slytherin thing last year, that was pretty neat. No one's ever had the guts to stand up against tradition.  
  
Someone has to. Wizards used to never marry Muggles, not until someone broke that. We'd have died out if they hadn't broken old custom. She smiled at his cleverness, and let out a sigh.  
  
A bunch of my friends think you're a bit off, not staying loyal to the old ways. And I heard a bunch of people saying-  
  
I don't even care what people think of me anymore. he said shortly, smiling shortly.  
  
Jamie! C'mon, Aaron's free!  
  
I have to go. It was nice dancing and all. Jamie said, backing away and running off after her friends with a red face. No sooner had she disappeared into the throng of students did Sirius and his pick of the week come up behind him.  
  
Hey Moony, who's the chick? Pay her to dance with you? he joked, hitting him on the arm. Remus smiled in good humour, and hit Sirius back a little harder than he meant to.  
  
Jamie Morgan, and no, you'll be thrilled to know I didn't have to bribe her.  
  
Poor chap, are you? One dance and you're content. Tsk tsk.  
  
That's more than we've done. his date snapped, scowling at him. You've spent the entire night watching other girls' asses. Now come on.  
  
  
  
What in the devil are you doing? Remus asked, shutting the door quietly behind him. The Marauders had assembled in an old, abandoned classroom late Holloween night, a cauldron and several books strewn about the place carelessly. Sirius held up the thick book on Animagism, and smiled.  
  
Don't tell me you're still trying that rubbish? Remus muttered, sitting down on a dusty chair in the middle of the room.  
  
Of course they are. Peter mumbled, stirring a pot of foul-smelling, steamy potion absently.  
  
And what is _that_?  
  
The book says we have to make it one year in advance, and let it crystalize under two season moons... Sirius read from the stained book. It helps the transformation the first time, so we don't get stuck.  
  
Peter squeaked, dropping the spoon for a moment.  
  
Forget it Pete, you'll be fine. James said with a roll of his eyes.  
  
And when do you expect to get this thing mastered, you brilliant, intelligent people?  
  
Probably the summer of fifth year I suppose. If we practice three times a week, and on Sunday nights... he went on for a moment, rambling over a schedule he had obviously put a lot of time into.  
  
And how in hell do you think you can do all hat? Quidditch starts next week, plus next year we have O.W.L.'s, we'll have to study all the time. Remus reminded. James considered this, and concluded that it was a negligible fact.  
  
Look, we can get this done, really. It won't be hard at all to keep away from the Ministry, seeing as we can pull off setting fire to Bane's hair without leaving a shred of evidence. Sirius said with a smirk. This will be easy compared to that.  
  
You guys are mental, you know that? Barking mad.  
  
Hey, we do it all for you. He gave a sarcastic bow, smiling evilly.  
  
Oh come off it James, I know damn well the consideration of me is only a perk to the potential havoc you could wreak if you could turn into God knows what. Remus said with a grin.  
  
Care to join us? This is the last chance, this potion has to be finished tonight. Sirius offered. Remus let out a sigh, and glanced at the book page that was open.  
  
I'm allergic to Halamon claw, sorry there. That potion would right out kill me... Thanks anyway.  
  
Suit yourself.  
  
Well, I think I'm going to go to bed, it's full moon tomorrow...  
  
Come on, stay and watch... It should be rather interesting. Sirius said with a shrug, motioning to Peter. If he blows it up a jolly fight will ensue.  
  
Tempting, but I think I'll pass...  
  
  
  
_Remus,  
  
Thing's aren't going so well down here, a band of those Dark supporters are stationed near our village in Aarhus. I'm going to stay in hiding for a few days, I'll write to you every night if possible. Don't worry, I'm living with an Auror woman so nothing will happen to me. Chipper up, I'll be back as soon as our vault is nice and full.  
  
Stop frowning or I'll laugh when it sticks like that,  
  
Romolus_  
  
  
  
Remus, what's bothering you? Nurse Ahmand asked, furrowing her eyebrows at him. He shrugged limply, wincing as his shoulders ached from the night before. She wiped a trail of blood off his face, and healed the thin scratch line expertly. Remus shuffled his feet, shifted his weight on the creaky hospital bed, and shook his head.  
  
You're usually a bit more, well, alive. Something's bothering you more than normal werewolf woes.  
  
My brother's in Aarhus right now, there's a lot of those Dark practicers there.  
  
You're, worried aye? Your brother is a tough lad, I met him a few times up in the Infirmary. He'll manage on his own alright.  
  
  
_Romolus! Come on, Rom! Remus shouted from his outpost high on an escape ladder. Several men from the social service department had caught up with them in southern Britain, and his brother was now being held to the ground as someone tried to tie his hands behind his back. It was a few days after Christmas, and the pair had been on their way back for King's Cross, though they never made it that far.  
  
Just go! Romolus shouted as one man spotted the other boy they were after. Remus shook his head, throwing rocks at the annoyed and slightly angry men below.  
  
I'm not going to leave without you! he yelled above the howling wind.  
  
You're a bloody prat if you stay! Just leave bef- his words were cut off as one man place a hand over his mouth, giving up on calming him down. They succeeded in tying his hands, and started ot lift him up. A few steps towards the car, and Romolus bit his hand, and kicked the man holding him in a very bad place.  
  
he yelled, though Remus simply jumped down from safety. He pulled the ropes free, smiling, and tugged Romolus along through the snow as they were pursued.  
  
You're a right-out git, you know that Remus?  
  
I'm not going to leave without you.  
  
I could have handled them on my own you know. I had it under control. he huffed, dashing down an alley and up onto an staircase high above.  
  
Oh yes, right up till they almost had you in the truck. Really had it going in your favour. Remus said sarcastically, pulling him into a boarded up window and crouching against the wall.  
  
I would have been fine. Romolus whispered indigently, sniffing in his nose in the freezing night. The roaring wind allowed them free movement, and once more, they escaped all chances they ever had of being captured.  
  
  
  
_He slid down the slippery wall, letting the water drizzle down his bruised back in a massaging manner. Closing his eyes, he bit back the pain of post-transformation, and let out a shaky sigh.  
  
Come on Rom, I'm not there this time. You gotta work yourself out of battle...  
  
*  
  
_What's going on? Remus spun around on the spot, trying to see through the dense fog clouding his vision. Squinting with all his might, he began to see shapes, images of running people and wispy flames high atop a building. he ran towards, going through people rather than making solid contact, though he hardly noticed.  
  
Romolus! Rom, where are you?  
  
Another fire sprang up amidst a shrill cry of a hundred villagers, all running for their lives. In the distance, up on a small hill of ruined house, he saw three hooded figures, smiling devilishly in the moonlight.  
  
  
  
The figures turned towards him, wands raised, grinning in the most horrid fashion known to mankind. In a wisp, the green light flashed outwards, casting the small gaggle of innocent lives to the ground, never to rise again. Remus found himself to be still standing, though he didn't understand why.  
  
ROM! WHERE ARE YOU? he bellowed, not caring about the immediate danger. In another wave and flick, the green bolt passed through his body, casting him to the ground painfully.  
  
he muttered, mouth still open as he took in his last breath.  
  
_*  
  
  
Remus! Get UP! James slapped him across the face, and in reflex, Remus grabbed him about the neck for a moment, nearly snapping it in fright. He apologized hastily as his friend rubbed the bruising, muttering something.  
  
Remus huffed, eyes wide and face drenched in sweat. The rest of the dormitory was still asleep he noted once he was calmed down, and it puzzled him slightly.  
  
I cast a Silencing Charm the moment you made a noise. James explained, though the question had not been voiced. So what the hell just happened? Screaming your bloody lungs out like you were being killed or something.  
  
I was. Remus said quietly, swallowing and hugging up his knees.  
  
  
  
I was in Aarhus... I know it. That's where my brother is, and something happened. Or is, with those Dark mages. he realized, shaking his head.  
  
James, where's the Map? I need to go, for a minute... Come on, where's the bloody map? he asked loudly as Sirius snored contentedly next to him.  
  
You're acting mental. James said quietly, biting his lip. He Summoned the Marauders Map, looked at the blank parchment for a moment, and shook his head.  
  
Please? Just tonight, I'll be back.  
  
Look, you were just screaming your head off, and now you're saying some towns is under attack or whatnot. If you go anywhere I'm coming with you.   
  
Before he could even yell, Remus grabbed the map, and shoved him aside, running out of the room with wide eyes and a pale face.  
  
What the hell is up with him?  
  
  
Professor Mendell? Excuse me but-  
  
You Saw it, did you not? she said quietly, not turning from her seat facing the fireplace. Remus took off his gloves, sat down on one of the round tables, and muttered a quiet confirmation.  
  
How can I stop it? Or has it already-  
  
It has not happened yet. It will not until tomorrow, but you cannot change it. Seeing is a gift not to be used in the alteration of history.  
  
My brothers going to die!' Remus blurted out, slamming his fist down and splintering the table edge in two. I'm not going to sit around and loose the last bit of family I have!  
  
It cannot be changed dear boy... Grieve now, so it will not be so hard. she said quietly as the fire crackled, emitting a flickering glow about the dark room.  
  
You're the only one who can help, no one will believe me! Jesus Christ, I don't understand anything... Why can I See everything? I was there, as him... But I couldn't stop it.  
  
It is a talent awarded to those cursed by lycopanthy by the Fates. A compensation of sorts... It will not develop fully for many years, but you will receive brief flashes of what is there. Seeing what will be is one of those talents.  
  
Then can I do anything to stop it? I don't care about altering history, I'm _not_ going to let him die. he snapped, gritting his teeth and clenching his fists tightly.  
  
There would be no way to contact them, the village is sealed. The Dark powers have already gained control of the entire area. He will die, along with all the others. There is no way to evade such a fate.  
  
That's not true! he bolted from his seat, tears streaming down his face as he jumped the ladder. Collapsing halfway back to his destination, he fell onto the wall, crying hysterically like a child.  
  
No... I can still do something. he told himself, not believing a word of it. He'll be fine, he said he'd be fine. He can tend himself.  
  
  
Mr. Lupin? Mr. Lupin will you please-  
  
Go to hell. Remus snapped. Carlson went cold, started yelling over something, though Remus heard none of it. He didn't care about the sniggers from the Slytherins, or the odd looks from his friends, or even the threat of suspension for disrespect. He had sent an owl, three of them, and one had already come back. Dumbledore had merely pat him on the back, saying it was a silly nightmare and wasn't anything to worry over. James had laughed and ruffed his hair, saying he was quite simply mad.  
  
Maybe I am mad. Barking mad. he told himself in the halls, being thrown out of class for calling Carlson an ass openly.  
  
Lost my righteous mind, I have. he smiled for no reason, and chuckled to himself. Nothing wrong at all. Rom is fine, everything's fine. Perfectly fine. Just spiffing. Fine.  
  
Remus? What's going on? Lily bent down next to him, having successfully sneaked out of class right after him.  
  
Oh, nothing. Everything is perfectly fine. he repeated with a bland smile. Lily looked at him with wide, concerned eyes, and shook her fiery head.  
  
What's going on Remus? James says you've been talking about your brother, that he's going to be killed tonight. A dream, or premonition you claim.  
  
Oh, just a nightmare. Load of rubbish. he said in his mad voice, still chuckling. Lily, biting her lip, slapped him very hard across the face. He blinked, looked about for a moment, and shrunk to the floor all the way.  
  
He's going to die with the rest of them. Slaughtered like pigs. he muttered weakly, shutting his bloodshot eyes. I was there, I saw it all Lil. All killed, for no reason at all... They don't believe me. None of them, except Mendell and she won't do a thing. Going to let him die... Lily took in a breath, and held his hand for a minute.  
  
I believe you Remus, really. I know all about Seers. And you can help him. Just tell him. she said as if it explained the worlds problems.  
  
Tell him in your mind Remus, it's all you can do. Romolus is strong, he can make it if you help him.  
  
He won't make it on his own. He'll die like all of them, those three sons of bitches...  
  
Just... Just th-Remus! She caught him halfway as he keeled over, eyes still open and mouth lagging. Lily hit him a few times, electing no response, and bit her lip.  
  
What is going on with you Remus?  
  
  
*  
  
_Romolus, come on! We have to get out! he yelled, slamming the door open. Part of his mind knew this was his brothers house, though he didn't know exactly why.  
  
Rom, get moving! They're going to attack, tonight! COME ON! he bellowed, dashing up the stairs. His footsteps echoed behind him as he ran back down, finding the second story vacant.  
  
he peered into the kitchen, and frowned deeply. Is reflection showed him not to be himself, but Romolus.  
  
Damn it. he muttered, shutting his eyes. What in hell is happening?  
  
_*  
  
  
He's been asleep for a while now Headmaster, we can't find anything wrong with...   
  
Remus opened his eyes, and looked around at the blurry image of the Infirmary.  
  
Hello there. Dumbledore said with a warm smile, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Remus tried to focus his eyes, only to receive a very nasty headache in the process.  
  
Wha happ'n? he mumbled, his body not responding to his mind quickly enough to form a sentence.  
  
You collapsed after Defense, and Miss Evans found you. You've been out cold for two days now. Nurse Ahmand said in a relieved voice, fumbling around in a closet for some remedy. Remus sat up very suddenly, and tried to get out of bed, though he was stopped short.  
  
You're not to leave this bed, lest this wing. Dumbledore warned, shaking his head with a gentle smile. Not for a few days anyway.  
  
But Romolus, Aarhus... What-  
  
Dumbledore frowned, his silvery beard quivering for a moment. With a sickening thump, Remus lay back on his pillow, eyes leaking.  
  
Oh my God... It happened, didn't it? Unable to cry, he shook his head, not even waiting for an answer.  
  
No one even listened to me! I could have... Done something...  
  
If you'll calm down, I think there are a few things you need to know.  
  
He's dead, isn't he? Remus looked up into blue eyes, and broke down.  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Sorry to leave you on a cliffie, but I passed by 11 page limit I try to follow! More will come soon, I PROMISE! Leave a review please! And a Post Script to someone who remarked about Alex's broom, it'll be in the next chapter. :)  
  
THANK YOU EVERYONE! Your support and reviews keep this going! Thanks to Lynx, Aurielo, Lyria Padfoot, Rykatu*L, Fyre Eye, smile7499, DS, Noon da Elf, Amphritrite, GryfinndorSeeker (Haven't seen you in a while tho) and The Great Kelly The Great. I love all fo you guys so much! And anyone else I forgot to mention. You people are the greatest!!!!  
  
Iggie (who promises to get the next chapter up REAL quick!)**


	13. Part XIII Loosing Faith

A/n- Thanks all you loyal readers, I love you all to bits! And you rookies new to this fic, YOU are the greatest people ever! Keep on reading!  
  
Disclaimer- I think by NOW you all know I own absolutely nothing, so on with the fic!  
  
Rating- PG-13, though this one will swear a tad more than others.  
  
Chapter Keywords- Romolus, Dark mages, Ministry action, detentions with Snape o_O  
  
**NOTE**- These next two chapters may be a bit more depressing than some would like, so be prepared. But fear not, the Marauders will keep the humour alive! So bear with me folks, as the plot extends. o_O  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XIII - Loosing Faith  
  
  
  
Remus, what's wrong? James asked the minute he made way into Gryffindor Tower. He shoved by, nearly throwing James to the side, and stormed into the dormitories in a whirlwind. With quizzical glances at each other, the three Marauders went after their friend. Hearing the shower running and seeing the trail of clothes in that direction, they all dashed into the bathroom, talking loudly over the waterfall.  
  
What's been going on? You'd better tell us or we're going to keep asking. Sirius said straight off. For a moment nothing happened, then the water went off, and Remus stepped out with a towel about his waist.  
  
You wanna know what's wrong? he asked quietly, eyes red and hsi face a mess. What's been bothering me? The others nodded, Peter biting his lip.  
  
  
-  
  
Mr. Lupin, please understand I'm not saying that he is gone for good. Dumbledore tried, shaking his head. That was not my implication at all. There is still a strong chance he will come back fine. Dumbledore said, trying to comfort the shattered boy.  
  
A chance? We've taken chances our entire lives, they don't work! A chance isn't going to keep him alive against a pack of bastards! He barely knows magic to begin with! he blurted out, not caring of his language.  
  
Have some faith in him Remus, now if ever.  
  
It's hard to have faith in something you don't believe. he muttered, shutting his red eyes.  
  
-  
  
Remus... Don't worry. James said, wiping the steam off his glasses. Your brother can kick their respective asses, don't worry. Hell, he nearly killed _Dias_, and he isn't even a werewolf. he pointed out, shrugging.  
  
You don't get it, do you? Remus murmured. Those bastards killed over a hundred people, without taking a scratch. It doesn't matter that they decided to take Romolus with them, they'll kill him! He can't defend himself against them! he shouted, and grabbed his cloak. Without another word, he shoved past his friends and into the school halls, face red and eyes leaky.  
  
  
I would suggest you give him some space. McGonnagal said, snapping the boys back to attention. She had ben standing at the staircase, and had undoubtedly heard the conversation.  
  
Mr. Lupin is going through a rather difficult time.  
  
We all are now, aren't we? This does rather imply war. James said quietly, letting out a sigh that no one else understood.  
  
  
  
You are to scrub this dungeon clean, all of you. Professor Bane said with a nasty smile, waving his hand as he left the dark room. Even though Remus hadn't been involved in the crime of the explosion, he had been pulled along for the ride anyway, same as Severus Snape for other reasons. The five set to work silently for a while, James and the others on the opposite side of the room, Snape right next to Remus.  
  
  
Lily warned me not to pester you. he said after a moment, digging the toothbrush into the grimy cracks of the floor. I don't know why though. You have been acting a bit odd recently, calling Carlson an ass and such.  
  
My mother died, and now my brother is being held captive by a band of Dark wizards. I think I'm entitled to act a bit off'. Remus snapped in a hoarse voice. Snape blinked, thinking he ws just joking, but frowned deep after a moment.  
  
If it's any compensation my mother was murdered by Dark mages when I was seven. he said after a moment. He swallowed, and pointed a hand at James in the far corner. Potter, his parents were killed by the same person.  
  
He's never said anything about it before.  
  
He never told anyone. I only know because of the Auror... My father hired an Auror to kill my mums murderer. They found a list of victims. he answered in a hushed tone, continuing to scrub to distract himself. I don't think he likes to talk about it, not many would.  
  
Remus muttered. He stopped his working, looked up at the ceiling, and decided to lay down for a few minutes.  
  
They said my brother isn't dead, but I don't know if I believe that. He's a year and half older than I, and barely knows magic at all, compared to adults. I don't see how he _could_ be alive. he pondered aloud, looking at the swirls of paint on the ceiling absently. Snape nodded his head, and for a brief moment, the two enemies shared a common understanding.  
  
But there's always the possibility that he can make it out. And that's something you should set your sights on.  
  
  
  
_Are you alright young man? A stranger placed a hand on his shoulder, and Remus bucked it off.  
  
he said, sniffling in the cold air, or because he was nearly crying.  
  
You're most certainly not fine. Come on inside, it's warm in there. he said, motioning to the restaurant door.  
  
I said I was fine. he said more boldly, looking up with tired eyes. I have to be on my way anyhow.  
  
If your sure... Wait, where would your parents be? the man realize,d looking around in the empty streets. Before he received an answer, he noticed the small child had dashed off. Sitting down on a mossy rock a while off, out of view, he tore the letter open and sniffed in again.  
  
Moony,  
  
I can't come out for the holiday's this year, I really have to study. I'm sorry, but it cannot be helped little brother. Try to stay out of trouble, and get FAR away from villages on the moon. If you attack anyone else the Ministry is going to get someone after you... Please be careful.  
  
Older and Wiser so stop complaining,  
  
Romolus  
  
Stupid git... You said you'd come back this year. he whined, kicking at the ground. You promised you'd come. Dunno why I even bother hoping for things anymore, you always ruin it. No use praying for something that won't happen.  
  
  
  
_Breakfast the next morning was rather eventful. The _Daily Prophet _had done an article on the attack, and it had shaken up many students. But the mail owls had carried more than just news, as one had dropped a thick, important looking envelope into Remus lap.  
  
No one writes me outside of Remus. he noted, eyes bulging. For a minute he believed his brother had somehow escaped, but upon turning it over, he found it to be a letter from the Ministry. He broke the thick black seal with a sunken heart, and read off the militant scrawl.  
  
_Mr. R. J.. Lupin,  
  
We regret to inform you that in light of the recent Dark activity in Denmark, we have a few issue's to cross over with you. It has come to the attention of one of our stationed Aurors that your brother, a Mr. R. S. Lupin, has been taken hostage by the Dark supporters. There has been a ransom posted by the individuals in question, though we are unable to meet the demands. Our sources have made it noted that whether or not we meet the demands, there is an extremely large probability that the six hostages will be disposed of regardless.  
  
  
_He shut his eyes tightly, and took in a deep breath. Without bothering to read the rest of the letter, he stood up, and walked to the front of the Head Table in a crooked, almost drunken way.  
  
This came for me. I think you should see it. Remus said quietly, handing the notice over to Dumbledore. He straightened his glasses, and in a curious fashion, began to read. After a few solemn nods a moment later, the Headmaster set it down.  
  
Yes, the Minister had informed me of such late last night. There really isn't anything we can do.  
  
You could pay them the ransom. he said quietly, not meeting Dumbledore's gaze.  
  
It will only be used to fuel further Dark activities, so the Ministry will not do such. Not that they have the money to begin with. he said offhand. With a sigh, he bent forward, and looked Remus in the eyes.  
  
There is nothing any of us can do, else we would have already done so. All that can be done is in the hands of your brother.  
  
That's what worries me. he muttered.  
  
  
  
No no no! Mr. Black, you have to concentrate, else you'll never get it done! professor Flitwick said above the commotion of the busy classroom. They were attempting some Charm on minor object manipulation, though Remus had finished it at the very start of class. He sat in the corner, watching his friends fail over and over to perform the charm, to no avail. A few minutes later and Peter had managed to blow himself up again, to the amusement of most.  
  
I don't know what I'm going to do with you, Mr. Pettigrew. Professor Flitwick muttered, frowning at the charcoal-fried boy. Four years and you still manage to destroy yourself, even with simple charms! he said, shaking his head. He sighed in exasperation, and conjured a wet towel for Peter to clean himself up with.  
  
Nice going. Remus muttered. Peter smiled, not because of the incident, but as it was the first non-depressing thing Remus had said in a long while.  
  
Charms is definitely not my forte.  
  
School is not your forte. James said from a few seats back, managing to complete the charm to some extent.  
  
Being intelligent isn't your forte either. Sirius added, giving up all together and leaning back, legs crossed on the desk and hands behind his head. Really Pete, sometimes I wonder if your even capable of-  
  
Sirius, knock it off. someday he's going to kick your ass, you know that ai? James snapped, rolling his eyes. Never mess with the little man.  
  
He's not exactly little. Sirius snorted, poking Peter in his slight gut. A split-second later, they were on the floor, Peter trying to beat the living hell out of Sirius, who was amused by the lack of aim in his friends punches.  
  
Come off it, I was just teasing. Sirius said as Remus easily split them apart, holding Sirius up by the back of his robes.  
  
Remind me to never piss _you_ off, a'right? Geez, you'd kick me right down to hell, wouldn't you? he grinned, trying to wriggle himself free from the werewolf's grasp.  
  
Good idea Sir... Remus, if I ever do make you really _really_ mad, James said, smiling to himself. Give me a minute's head start before you come after me.  
  
  
You find him, alright? Wait and make sure no one is watching, and give him the letter. And make sure he sends something back. Remus told the owl, stroking the pitch-black feathers gently. Random gave a little hoot, understanding the commands, and flapped her wings importantly. With a final sigh, he tied the letter tightly, and watched as she flew off into the darkening night sky.  
  
You really should stop worrying about him. Lily said from behind, trying to stay serious despite James' tickling. He'll be... James quit that! Oh, he'll be fine Remus, really. I'm sure- James Potter, you quit that right now! she burst out, face flushed and unable to hold back her laughter any longer. Without such as a glance to either, Remus left the two on their own.  
  
I think I'll leave you now... Seems as though James wants a quick snog. he muttered. James smiled at him, right before being toppled to the ground by his girlfriend. As he left, he swore he heard something along the lines of Don't touch that' and a long trail of giggling.  
  
Hopeless romantics...  
  
  
It was well into the night, and Remus rather suspected it had actually turned into day by now. He didn't care one way or the other. with a sigh, he finally sat down after his long walk, finding an open clearing in the Forbidden Forest. Seating himself down on a rock, he looked up at the twinkling stars, wondering if Romolus was doing just the same. Owls hooted in the background, while crickets chirped their solemn song to the creatures of the night. Biting his lip, he threw his cloak to the side, and decided to lay down on the damp grass for a while.  
  
You'd better come back Rom, I swear... he muttered out loud, smiling in memory. He let out a long sigh, and looked up at the large moon.  
  
I don't know what I'll do if you're not alive, really... I always said I lived on my own, but that isnt true. You were there, indirectly, but still there if I needed you. he mused. If your gone I have no where left to go.  
  
A wolf howled from somewhere close by, and Remus turned his head towards the sound. Crinkling his nose, he smelt the creature inhumanly, and let out a little imitation of the cry. The creature jumped from the bushes, and walked over to him hesitantly. It took a few sniffs, let out a little bark, and nuzzled its head against Remus'.  
  
Please come home Rom, please. he said as he shut his eyes, the little wolf climbing on top of him. It lay down there, nudging his chin encouragingly, speaking the language of canine with one of the few humans who understood such.  
  
Get yourself through this.  
  
_Do not fear friend, those of same blood to you are sure to be well._ the wolf said in its own way, curling up in a ball on his stomach. _Kin of yours shall be fine on their own. This I assure you.  
  
  
  
_Random, come on... Remus muttered as mail arrived the next morning. But as the last of the owls swooped in, he was discourage to find that his was not among them. For three days he wasted away, absent minded in class and unaware of anything. The fourth night he sat outside Hogwarts on the steps, looking up at the sky hopefully.  
  
Remus, you can't do this forever. Lily said, sitting down next to him.  
  
Want to place money on that? he muttered as James and Sirius joined him opposite.  
  
Come on man, stop doing this. Sirius said, shaking his head. You can't just vege out and act dead while you wait. Hell, you might be waiting for the rest of your life... I know it's not an encouraging thought, but it's the truth.  
  
He's right you know. James said quietly, looking up at the shrinking moon.  
  
I don't care about the truth anymore.  
  
That's what scares us Remus, you don't care about _anything_ now. You have to move on, or you'll kill yourself like this. Lily squeaked out.  
  
If he dies I'll have no reason to live anymore.  
  
  
  
Lupin, stay here a minute. Carlson said, his voice lacking the icy tone for once. As the class left the room quickly, he stayed behind, dragging himself along up to the desk.  
  
I don't want to hear a word from you for a minute, hear me out. he snapped, looking very intently at the boy. This is war Lupin, alright? Come to terms with it whether you want to or not. I've been through hell and back, and I've got the marks to show it. If you don't stop drawling on the past and worrying over what you cannot control, your going to loose any sense of reality you ever had. Don't dabble over things you have to power over. he said, glaring a bit. Your brother's in a position thousands face, so don't think God's playing punishment on your life. Snap yourself back to reality before it bites you in the ass. he finished, and pointed to the door.   
  
Get out of here, and if I catch you in that Godforsaken pensive persona, you'll be scrubbing Bane's classroom for the rest of your schooling.  
  
  
  
For a week more Remus went on living a half-life. Quidditch had started, and his friends were relieved to see it was the one time of the day when he turned back to the old Remus Lupin. He quietly ordered his team through plays, swore when he missed a goal deflect, and cheered when Gryffindor scored. He guided through three wins in his normal self, but as Gryffindor took a break in cycle, he slumped back to depression.   
  
Want to play a game of chess? Alex offered a while later, muddy from a Quidditch math. He had been appointed the new left-wing Chaser as Aaron Orvis had graduated. Remus nodded his head slightly, and waited as the pieces were set up.  
  
Figured out who gave me the broom. Alex said a bit into the match. My uncle Ronnie, he plays for the Vultures. Stupid git forgot the card. he said with a smile that Remus did not return. He's rather dim if you ask me. Mum says he took a few too many Bludgers to the head, but he's always been an idiot to be honest.   
  
Alex tried to get him to talk for quite some time, but the only words Remus would speak were Check' and the occasional Hm.' As they finished their second game, he eventually gave up on conversation and focused on trying to defeat Remus.  
  
Remus muttered after a while, and dragged his legs along up the stairs for the showers.  
  
He needs some help. Alex muttered, Banishing the chessboard to the corner box.  
  
He needs his brother back. James said from across the room.  
  
  
Mr. Potter, I would advise you to pay attention... McGonnagal trailed off, taking a few steps towards the two sniggering boys. She plucked the book from their hands, but before she managed to snag a word from it, Sirius grabbed it back.  
  
It's a Transfiguration book, _ma'am_. he said with a concealed smile, though he _was_ being honest. He held it up, showing the spine.  
  
Advanced Transfiguration for the Well-Talented'? I quite think not, with the skill you have right now you'd be best studying a third-year book. she said, rolling her eyes and going back to the lesson. Sirius started sniggering a few minutes later, and McGonnagal just ignored their notes to each other. Peering over their shoulders, Remus looked down at the scratch parchment, and smiled very slightly.  
  
_Wouldn't it be funny if Peter got stuck as a duck or something?  
  
Or if he turned into something lame like a Flobberworm?  
  
That'd be grand. Peter the Flobberworm... Such a glorious title, eh?  
  
Quite._  
  
Looking over at Peter, frantically copying notes and squinting behind the glasses he rarely wore, he chuckled. He could just imagine James and Sirius, transforming into some magnificent, useful creatures, while Peter flopped around on the ground as a grimy little worm with no purpose other than to, well, flop around.  
  
That is, if they manage to do it at all.' he mused to himself, gazing around absently. Bunch of nutters.... Hell, they're worth living for I guess. Maybe I can stay with them over the summer.'  
  
  
It was then that Remus lost all faith in life. In a moment's worth of time, he gave up on Romolus, and gave up worrying.  
  
  
  
_Rom, why'd it take you so long? he asked quietly, helping to carry the bags of things his brother held as he scurried off the Hogwarts Express. with a curious look, he watched as the battered family trunk was pulled off.  
  
Why do you have all your stuff? It's only summer, you always leave it there for when you go back in a week or two. the twelve year old said. Romolus shook his head, and grabbed onto the trunk, pulling it up onto the cart.  
  
I'm not going back next year. he said simply, and Remus smiled.  
  
he snapped, torn between happiness and the truth.  
  
I have to stay with you since mum wont take you back. I wrote to her a few times and I haven't gotten a reply in weeks. So Im dropping out. I worked it out with Dippet, so no trouble... he trailed off, and asked why Remus was frowning.  
  
You can't quit cause of me. I was doing alright on my own anyway.  
  
Look, it isn't a problem. I can study magic on my own, at my own pace. You need me, admit it little bother. You're thin as a rail and you get sick too often for my liking.  
  
But I might be able to go to Hogwarts soon, they're getting a new Headmaster in a bit, right?  
  
Remus, stop kidding yourself. Romolus said quietly, passing through the barrier and out into the busy station.  
  
But you always said to never loose hope, so I'm not. I can keep on wishing that I'll go, and it _will_ happen.  
  
There isn't any point in having faith in something that will never come to be. It's a different thing to pray for something within reach than to waste your thoughts on that. Now come on, lets go get some food... I picked up a few Sickles from some Slytherins on the train while they were asleep._  
  
  
  
At dinner one night in mid November, James and Sirius were in the middle of a conversation of worry over Remus when the owl window opened off schedule. They held their breaths as Random flew in, carrying a tiny parcel, and a letter. It landed in front of the werewolf, who hadn't watched for his owl in a long time since giving up. He took the letter, and turned it over to the back as there was no address.  
  
he muttered, tearing away the black wax seal.  
  
_  
Mr. L. J. Lupin,  
  
One of our Aurors on duty in the business of your brothers position found this left behind at an abandoned camp site. The Dark mages in question have advanced further north, and are currently out of our reach. We thought this might be of some effect for you, as we have been unable to decipher anything from it. We are sorry in collection for what has happened, and our prayers are with you. We will do our best to keep you at information as the situation progresses.  
  
Messrs. Alec Gangban and Sir Eldrik von Snids, Ministry Officers of Dark Enforcement, London._  
  
  
He set the letter down, and took the parcel, a grubby, newspaper-wrapped object. Tearing away the twine that bound it, he frowned, and bit his lip.  
  
What in blazes it is? he wondered aloud.  
  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Sorry this one took a bit longer than I had thought, I've had a brief spell of writers block. Oh, what a chapter to get stumped on, ai? Well, with all said and done, thanks all of you readers! Contact me if you'd like to chat about anything, or whatnot... AlyssaC7 is my SN and @aol.com for mail. Thankies!  
  
Newbies Alexa Potter and Andi (Leave me an e-mail!!!) and One-winged Butterfly: THANK YOU. All of you guys are simply the best, everyone of you. Thanks for all your time (this thing IS getting a bit lengthy) and the nice reviews. More will come as soon as I get my lazy arse around to it!  
  
Iggie (Who is so sorry she keeps cutting off at cliffhangers!)  
  
  
Post Script to all readers- Story of a Cat by Lyria Padfoot is a story I HIGHLY recommend to all of you. It's very cute, and I simply love it. Read it now or I shall be forced to track you down and stab you with a spork! Cheers, and g'day!**  



	14. Part XIV Forgotten

Note- To the bastard who found it amusing to sign on my name and leave a review under it for my own story-- GO TO HELL. You're apparently one of my friends as you know my last name, and you come off all sarcastic. To hell with you. :)  
  
  
A/n- Sorry to have kept leaving off on cliffhangers. It's rather inevitable ::grins wickedly:: Well, on with XIV! And sorry if it's a bit shorter than the others!  
  
Disclaimer- Must I bother? Yes? Ok then, I own squat shit. That good enough for you LAWYERS? Curse you all to hell I say.... o_O  
  
Rating- PG-13 for now, may change at some point ::shrug:: .  
  
Chapter Keywords- Return of Quidditch, Romolus Romolus Romolus... Dark activity, Romolus, Romolus... And a bit of Optimism as well for a change.  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XIV - Forgotten  
  
  
  
He frowned, turning the stone over and over in his shaky hands. For a while he just sat there, James, Peter and Sirius staring at him, and then suddenly he smiled.  
  
He's alright. Remus concluded, smiling very wide and repeating it to himself quite often. he said, until finally James shook him back to reality.  
  
So what is it?  
  
Look, it's a moon. he pointed out, his finger tracing the circle inscribed in the stone. And a Roman 19. The full moon is on the nineteenth... He was just telling me. Remus said happily. The others blinked, not really understanding how that explained that Romolus wasn't in excruciating pain, or dead, at the moment.  
  
He's fine if he had time to do this, and he's obviously well enough to carve into rock, so his arms aren't broken or whatnot. Don't you get it? he asked, and they shook their heads.   
  
He isn't in a lot of trouble, because he left me a simple reminder rather than a cry for help. he said quickly, biting his lip he was so relieved.  
  
Either that or he's a right-out loony. Sirius said under his breath, forgetting that Remus had hearing well beyond that of normal humans.  
  
He's not insane Sirius, he's alright! And he's coming back, really soon. he blurted out, clutching the smooth rock to his chest as though it was a cherished heirloom. With simultaneous shrugs, the others went back to devouring their meals, not noticing Remus' ecstatic remarks to himself.  
  
He's alright...  
  
  
Remus, are you feeling alright? Lily asked, sitting down next to him in The Three Broomsticks. he was sipping a mug of butterbeer thoughtfully, gazing off into the distance. His free hand ws clenched tightly around the little carved rock, as though it was his grasp on life itself.  
  
He's coming back Lily, he's alright. he muttered after a moment. She frowned, and shook her head a bit.  
  
There's a difference between having faith in something, and fooling yourself with false hopes. she said gently, leaning against him. He might not even be alive Remus, much as I don't like to admit it. Don't get your sights set to high...  
  
Lily, you don't get it. He _is_ coming back, point-said. I'm not being over optimistic or anything... I don't care if no one else believes me, I know for fact hell be back.  
  
Lily sighed, and shrugged to herself.  
  
Alright. Whatever you say Remus... I'll believe it with you.  
  
  
  
I'm heading off to the showers for a bit... Seeya tomorrow. Remus said after many hours working on the Marauders Map Friday night. James and Sirius wished him good night, and Peter would have, had he not been keeled over, sleeping in a pile of his on drool. Remus quietly made his way up the stairs, and into his own little shower stall.  
  
Make sure you come back. he muttered, holding the little stone in his hands. A moment later he blacked out against the wall, eyes still open as the water pounded down on him.  
  
_  
  
he yelled, rushing forward. But the shabby figure took no notice of him, and with a sinking heart, he realized he could not bee seen nor heard. For a moment he watched, a spectator to the camp where he and five Aurors were held, wondering why his talents ahd decided to bring him here. there was a feeble fire glowing in the center of the forest camp, casting a flickering light upon the boy. He had a welt across his face, and one eye as bruised shut.  
  
At least he's alive.' Remus told himself, sitting down next to Romolus absently. He stayed like that for a few minutes, until one of the cloaked men came out and kicked a sleeping Auror in the side.  
  
Ger up. he said gruffly, a drunken slur present in his voice. re moving out, got some now people a commin' in tonigh'... Ger up! he yelled, everyone rising automatically.  
  
Now where are we going? Romolus asked bravely, trudging along in the woods in single-file like a slave.  
  
A bit south of Dratchen... We'll be there while my colleagues carry out a certain mission.  
  
  
_I need to speak to Dumbledore! Remus yelled, tapping on the door. A very tired McGonnagal answered, wrapped up in a bathrobe.  
  
It's four in the morning Mr. Lupin, I'm sure... It can wait. she mumbled with a yawn.  
  
There's going to be another attack! I need to-  
  
Go back to bed, Mr. Lupin. Good night. she slammed the portal door before he squeaked out a protest, leaving him in the halls by himself.  
  
God, why doesn't anyone believe me anymore? he mumbled. A little voice, one of his brother, reminded him that the word of a werewolf was useless in modern society.  
  
Yeah, well I'll be laughing when they read the newspaper in a few days. he grumbled to his subconscious.  
  
  
He didn't laugh in the next few days, but he did find it secretly amusing when the _Daily Prophet_ reported an attack, and kidnapping, in Dratchen. That afternoon, McGonnagal gave him odd glances quite a few times when she thought he wasn't watching during Transfiguration.  
  
Does this mean we're going to be in war? Peter asked nervously, looking about at the chattering Great Hall.  
  
No you git. Just a band of psychotic terrorists. Sirius snapped, sipping his pumpkin juice carelessly.  
  
I don't think so... It's going to be more than that. Remus said without realizing exactly what was coming out of his mouth.  
  
  
  
James, what are- Before he even finished his sentence, the little crumpet blew up right in Sirius face, covering him with some sort of green slime. James cursed to himself, and looked around the room for another biscuit.  
  
What just blew up? Remus asked from his table, bits of Transfiguration homework strewn about before him.  
  
Crumpet, not to worry. James assured, finding a stray tea biscuit that suited his task.  
  
So what devilish plan has Jamesie worked up now? Sirius asked in a delighted tone, seating himself down next to him.  
  
Trying to find a way to make a biscuit rupture at my leisure... Be quite dandy to have Bane's breakfast erupt on his face, aye?  
  
Oh, James, can I have the map? I found a new tunnel, I was late for Potions yesterday and found a good vantage point if we ever get caught up in the second-floor back halls. Remus remembered. James dug the map out of his pocket, and without interrupting himself from his own work, handed it and a Zonko's pencil over to his friend. Remus summoned up the map, and expertly drew the neat little lines onto the ever-worn parchment.  
  
That one should be good if Filch ever snags us down that way. Sirius said with an approving nod. Good to have you back in business Remus... he added. Our amounting detention list was getting rather high without you to dig us out of trouble.  
  
Oh to hell with that! Peter said from in front of the fireplace, a Muggle war book in his lap. He doesn't get you _out_ of trouble anymore than he helps get you _in_ trouble!  
  
No wiser words have yet to grace your lips, dear Peter. James said with a grin.   
  
He's just the criminal mastermind. Sirius translated, shrugging to himself as he went about hexing the little bread roll. The next morning at breakfast, as a bright red light flashed, the only words that came out of Professor Banes mouth were shouts of POTTER!' and BLACK!'. The pile of slimy biscuit lay in his lap, though the vast majority of it was all over his face in the form of an oozing red grime. James and Sirius smiled to themselves, mission accomplished. Once more Remus was dragged along for the detention, though he didn't mind.   
  
It was hard to care about anything when Romolus was coming home.  
  
  
_  
No no, you stupid git! You have to flick your wrist and pronounciate the thing right or you'll never get it! Romolus scolded, shaking his head.  
  
Well I don't know, alright? Sorry I suck at everything! Remus yelled, throwing down his battered wand and running to his room. The door slammed shut, and something crashed onto the floor after a moment.  
  
God he has such a blasted temper. Romolus murmured, pocketing the wand and floating all the textbooks back onto the table. For a few months they had been staying in an old abandoned house, Romolus attempting to teach his little brother some new magic.  
  
You know, Hogwarts is lucky they never got you! You'd drive the Professor's insane! Romolus shouted through the door, starting to cook dinner on an old range. They'd kick you out, you know! he said loudly, smiling to himself.   
  
I mean, it's not like you can actually do the magic at all. Oh, you'd be _ages_ behind everyone.  
  
As expected by the elder boy, Remus slowly opened the door, face red and eyes watery. He walked quietly back into the dusty room, and hung his head down. Closing his eyes, he wandlessly summoned his arms, and Summoned a Charms book from the table.  
  
You're a little twit sometimes, you know that Rem?  
  
That's why you're around, so I'm not a little twit. S'long as you're here I'll be fine. he said quietly, then looked up. And I _am_ going to Hogwarts.  
  
Keep telling yourself that little brother, and one day you might actually believe it.  
  
  
_Find him again, alright? Go on, go find him. Remus said, shoving the black owl towards the window. She nipped his finger, not wanting a long journey, but set off with the letter anyway.  
  
You're very resilient about keeping in touch with someone who the Ministry deemed untouchable. Sirius said from the doorway, smiling to himself. You're either very loyal and all that, or extremely ignorant.  
  
I'd go with the latter. James interrupted.  
  
Peter finished, smiling along with the others.  
  
  
  
I am _not_ insane you guys. Just... You don't know what it's like. I've been screwed over my entire life, in every way imaginable. he said, not thinking for a while. My parents are dead, I mean hell... I'm a werewolf for crying out loud. It's as if God or the Fates or destiny, whoever you believe in, just gave up on me and handed me that black, moldy leftovers. If he doesn't make it back-  
  
Ok, shut up now. Sirius said, breaking the moment. You're getting depressed. And if you get depressed you can't help us weasel a few Restricted books from the library.  
  
Is that the only reason you came with me? Remus snapped.  
  
Pretty much. Sirius admitted, smiling sheepishly.  
  
Thanks for the emotional support...  
  
No problem. Now come on before Filch finds us. James said, grabbing both by the backs of their robes and pulling them down the spiral staircase.  
  
  
  
Three days later, a very soggy and tired Random flew in with the morning mail owls. She deposited a scrappy, wet and blurry scrap of parchment into Remus hands, and flew off in a crooked fashion back to nap.  
  
What'd he say? James asked, nudging closer. Though not looking it, he was by far the easiest to relate to on terms of family problems and emotional depth.  
  
_Moony, don't worry. Organizing rebellion. Out soon. Love and cricket, Rom.  
  
_You have a very odd brother. James said, eyebrows raised above his glasses.  
  
We're an odd family. he said quietly, smiling a bit to no one. At least I still have a family anyway.  
  
  
  
And Morsem drops the Quaffle, retrieved by... Remus Lupin, of Gryffindor? the announcer said in a quizzical voice, voice changing in mild surprise.  
  
Sirius, hit anything in my path! Remus yelled as he spurred by, Quaffle under his arm. Sirius smiled, and as a Bludger came hurtling towards him, he directed right to the head of one Ravenclaw Chaser after Remus. She toppled off her broom, and smacked into the grass a few feet below.  
  
In a very odd change of events, the Gryffindor Keeper is on a spree to score! This is coming from a man we've yet to see leave the scoring area in his two years on the team!  
  
Sirius knocked off one more Chaser on the way, and totally bewildered, the opposing Keeper hardly made an attempt to stop the perfect goal. Not bothering to celebrate, Remus chased tail-end with the other Chaser back to his own posts, just in time to dive for a block.  
  
Some rather courageous moves from our local Keeper and Gryffindor newbie everyone! This is turning out to be an exciting game!  
  
Six goals and twenty-two fouls by James and Sirius later, it was ninety-thirty in favour of Gryffindor. James smiled, swooshed around a goal post, and made an unnecessarily showy dive to catch the Snitch and end the game. Early in the season they were already high in the ranks, well above even Slytherin's reach.  
  
Gryffindor Tower was mayhem that night.  
  
At three in the morning, Peter came back with the freshest load of snacks and butterbeer courtesy of the house elves. After they had all been devoured, James left for his own stash, Sirius soon after. At five McGonnagal came in and demanded everyone go to bed, but she was faced with so many flying hexes she retreated almost instantly. And to the amusement of everyone, James had even snuck Lily into the Common Room.  
  
Good to see you lively again. she said above the thunderous music and loud yelling.  
  
Rom is coming home, of course I'm celebrating!  
  
  
_God I hope he gets back soon. It's been so long... I hope he didn't get caught. Remus told his owl, stroking the wing feathers gently. Random gave a little hoot, and rubbed her head against his hand.  
  
You think I'm foolish for worrying don't you Rannie? I don't know... I always fear that he won't come back at all, and I'll have to live alone again. he admitted. If he for any reason didn't, I'd be ruined. He's my father, my mother, and my best friend... Add that to being my guardian and a brother, he's one hell of a guy, right? he smiled, as she gave a shrill squeak.   
  
Oh, that's right... You aren't too fond of him. he laughed, flopping back on the futon as Random flew to the backing of a chair._  
  
_God, I really hope nothing happened... he trailed off, smiling as he heard the thundering footsteps up the stairs. Romolus walked in a moment later, and threw a long, thin box at Remus.  
  
Don't go snapping your wand again, Olivanders is really hard to break in to. he huffed. He stared at Remus for a moment, and tapped his foot. You look bothered.  
  
Without any reason he knew, Remus lunged forward, and hugged him to the point of suffocation.  
  
Uh... Glad to see you too?_  
  
  
  
Any news yet? James asked in a near-silent voice during dinner late November. Remus shook his head, and despite what everyone thought, his hopes hadn't been daunted by the fact that he hadn't received word from Romolus in long while. There had been several more attacks, and the body of one hostage had been found several miles off of Dratchen a week before.  
  
No, not yet. he said with a smile, looking up as the last of the mail owls flew off.  
  
But there will be.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Thanks to all you reviewers out there, you're the best an aspiring fanfic author could wish for! Lynx, aurielo, Rykatu*L, GryfinndorSeeker, Amphitrite, Lyria Padfoot, smile7499, and all my other steady readers. Newbies- Sorry, kat, Manticore Queen, Alexa Black, love you all as well. :) More will come very soon, scouts honor!  
  
Grimoire Mozzeltov- Thanks for spotting my error, it was fixed!  
  
And to all of your who say I'm an abnormally, inhumanly fast author, I have a simple answer. I have no social life. And I REALLY wish JKR was as fast as me... At this rate the fifth MOVIE will be out before Order of the Phoenix... o_O  
  
**Iggie


	15. Part XV Ullatenus

A/n- Sorry in advance for chapters taking longer. as I started a new fic so not ALL my time is devoted to SG. Anyway, on with the fic!  
  
Rating- PG-13, though this chapter is pretty light on swearing.  
  
Disclaimer- This again? Alright, I own NOTHING. MWPP and all related things HP belong to Rowling and any of those lucky to get in on the deal.  
  
Chapter Keywords- Snape, Slytherin anger, detentions, Animagism, and yes, Romolus.  
  
Thanks guys!  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XV - Ullatenus  
  
  
  
  
His eyes snapped open, and for a brief second, Remus Lupin thought he had been dreaming. Without bothering to get dressed properly, he fumbled his way out of bed, and dashed across the Common Room as though his life depended upon it. Through the halls he went, running as fast as his legs would carry him, until he skidded to a halt at the Infirmary door, breathing erratically.  
  
He... Here... he huffed out, clutching his sides as Nurse Ahmand answered. She let out a sigh, and ushered him into the hospital room. Before she could warn him on anything, Remus bolted forward, and threw himself around his brother.  
  
Ah Jesus... Hurts. Ger off. Romolus mumbled. Too strong dammit.  
  
He backed off, though he could do nothing but smile at the moment.  
  
I'm not even going to ask how you knew he came in... Ahmand said with a shrug, going off to leave them for a few moments as she searched for some odd-end potion.  
  
Full moon tonight. Romolus said in a scratchy voice, giving a half smile. Remus smiled, unsure to else to do, unsure if he _could_ do anything else.  
  
  
  
Remus, you'll have to leave for a while.... If you haven't noticed he's a wreck. Now shoo, come on, I'll send for you when he's in condition to elaborate on the potentially gruesome details of his misadventure. Reluctantly, he let himself be shoved out of the wing. He didn't bother to be angry, as he was in such a state of complete euphoria.  
  
Unfortunately the first person he met on his way back happened to be a certain slimy-haired Slytherin.  
  
Watch it. he snapped after being plowed over by Remus. God damn werewolves. he muttered, rubbing his head. Had Remus been paying attention to anything around him, he would have noticed. Instead, he just walked on by, headed for the kitchens to snag an early breakfast.  
  
  
  
So are you alright? he asked again. For over an hour he had been sitting on the bed, biting his lip, unable to think of anything intelligent or proper to say.  
  
I'm fine, geez. You half expect me to keel over dead or something, aye? Look, I got out, that's all that matters. he said quietly, itching at his bandaged arm.  
  
That is precisely why we need you for a moment. Dumbledore said from the doorway. The two looked up, and were greeted by the sight of a very elderly Minister and a few other stiffy-looking officials.  
  
Madam Blair is unfortunately in no condition to relent us the facts of what happened, so that leaves you Mr. Lupin. the Headmaster said with an irritated sigh. It was very obvious he did not want to bother either of them, nor separate them for that fact.  
  
I'm sorry Remus, but you'll need to leave the room for a while...  
  
Can't I stay? he asked daringly, looking up. Dumbledore glanced at the Minster, who merely shrugged.  
  
As long as you're quiet, I dont see why it would be a problem. he concluded after a moment.  
  
  
  
We spent three nights there, under forced silence and restraint. Romolus said quietly, looking intently at his feet. They brought two more prisoners, a young girl and her father, and we left for Paris shortly afterwards. The men have a base there, and several contacts with the French Ministry. the Minister closed his eyes, and nodded. On the way there, Sarah Blair and a few others were talking one night, the men got drunk... They didn't notice we were communicating. We made a plan, as the father they had brought, his daughter had a wand that the Death Eaters-  
  
one of the officials asked, blinking.  
  
Death Eaters, that's what they referred to each other as. Well the Death Eaters, none of them checked the girl for a wand, as she was only six or so... The father had hid it in her dress when they were caught. We managed to ambush one of the Death Eaters and three of us got away. he said, clenching his fists. The others stayed behind to hold off... So we could escape. No one from that group survived. Sarah got me and the little girl out. After the child was back in her mothers care, I made my way to Kings Cross and walked the way here. he finished, his eyes shut.  
  
For a while the Ministry men conferred, and argued for some time.  
  
Can you identify the so-called Death Eaters' in any way?  
  
No. They never removed their masks, and the one that didn't have a mask kept his face covered by hood. Romolus muttered resentfully, starting to shake quite a bit. I... I cold recognize their voices. Their laughs... I wont forget how they laughed when they killed off the father... You have to find them. Romolus squeaked, his voice barely above a whisper, though drenched in malice.  
  
Alright, enough of that. the nurse snapped. He's in no state to relive hell. Go on. she said, even the Minister of Magic not daring to defy the fiery woman.  
  
Thank you Mr. Lupin... We'll be sure to contact you if we discover anything of use.  
  
  
Remus, you'll have to leave too. You have classes, as it _is_ Monday. Nurse Ahmand reminded, pulling him by his robes. I don't care if you want to stay, get on off to your lessons. He'll be here when you're back, I assure you.  
  
  
  
Mr. Lupin, I would advice you to pay attention, seeing as you have a large test on this material next Tuesday. Bane hissed as he walked by.  
  
My my, this _is_ a mess now isn't it? he said with a sarcastic tsk. It was true in most regards, as Remus' potion was nothing like it should be. It didn't even resemble the supposed final product.  
  
I think Mr. Lupin needs a partner to show him what the hell he's doing. he decided, looking about the room. Ah, Severus. Lovely, you seem to be doing this well. Come here and show our resident daydreamer what a real Memory potion should look like. Bane said with a twisted half-smile.  
  
  
Well if you're not going to do anything useful then at least measure out the skillworms. Snape said irritably a few minutes later, having drained Remus' pathetic attempt at the assignment down the sewer. He held out a set of scales, though Remus made no movement to take them.  
  
Come on, I'm not doing this whole bloody thing for you just because you're incompetent in everything. he nudged the scales in Remus face, and rolled his eyes.  
  
That's right, oh, my mistake. _Werewolves_ can't touch silver, can they? Rather useless beasts, you are. he said with a snide grin, taking back the sterling instruments. This time, Remus caught his words, and not even thinking, tackled him to the floor. He swung once, Snape recoiling after a single blow, as the entire class scrambled to get a view of the fight. After a second hit, there wasn't any fight left. Bane had plucked Remus from the ground by his robes, and Snape, to the amusement of every Gryffindor and even Lily, had been knocked out, now sporting bloody gash across his forehead.  
  
If you weren't such a goody-goody with Dumbledore I'd have you expelled. he snapped, shoving Remus off to the side and pinning him against the dungeon walls.  
  
If you ever, _ever_, pull something like that again in my classroom, you're out. For good. he sneered, releasing his grip at the throat of Remus' robes.  
  
If any of you move while I'm gone, you'll be scrubbing filthy floors for the rest of the year. Bane snapped to the class, picking Snape up and hanging him across his arms. He walked out, and the moment his footsteps died away, the entire class scrambled about, talking loudly. Every Gryffindor in the room piled around Remus, congratulating him on a well-aimed punch to a deserving Slytherin.  
  
You were right James... Last year I thought you were being a jerk, calling him all that. I gave him a chance... He didn't deserve a chance. Remus snapped, eyes flaring angrily.  
  
We told you he was scum. Sirius said with a grin, patting him on the back.  
  
But it bothers me... He figured it out. he muttered. James nodded his head, understanding, though the others hadn't a clue as to what he implied  
  
  
  
Remus didn't bother a sorry look for Snape, lying with a very bruised face nearby Romolus, when he passed by after class. He pulled up a chair, turned it around, and sat backwards, talking things over with his brother for a long time.  
  
You're going to have to get a job again... I lost my wand and everything I had in the attack. Romolus said after a while, his voice still very raspy. He put a hand to his throat, massaging it for a moment. I'm using an old spare school one right now. Piece of crap, it's even worse than my old one.  
  
I'll work something out with the Professors, maybe see if I can get a weekend job down at Zonko's... But hell, don't worry about money. We can fix that... God I'm glad your back. he finally blurted out.  
  
Sorry boys, but you'll have to part... Severus complained you're being too loud and he needs some sleep. You rightly put him out of commission. Nurse Ahmand said, peering around the curtains. Snape smiled wickedly as Remus went by, waving a bit with the stupid grin still in place.  
  
  
  
I'd just love to wipe that slimy smile off his face. Remus muttered at dinner, glaring back at Snape.  
  
Wouldn't we all. a Gryffindor girl a year elder than he said offhand, poking her steak thoughtfully. He got me a detention with Carlison before, cursed me in the halls, and _I_ got blamed for it! Little twit needs a good kick in the ass if you tell me. Not to imply that you didn't do just that, but... she trailed off, and left the conversation.  
  
Yeah, pity you didn't finish him off. Sirius said with a disappointed sort of sigh.  
  
He could have, easily, so don't even say that. James mumbled. So, um, Remus, what do you want for Christmas? he changed the subject in hopes of lightening the mood.  
  
A bit early, we've still got a while to go...  
  
Last year I ended up getting it all the day before, so Lily convinced me to shop early.  
  
Ah, chicks... They tamper with your minds, they do. Sirius commented with a grin.  
  
Yes well at least James can keep one long enough to learn her full name. Peter said quietly, hiding a large smile.  
  
Oh, that's it. Sirius snapped, grabbing Peter by the neck of his robes. That right there deserves a beating. He dragged him out of the Great Hall, Peter kicking and yelling all the while.  
  
They're impossible. James rolled his eyes, and went back to finding out what everyone wanted for the holidays.  
  
I want Snape to drop over dead, that's what. And I want to know how he bloody found out.  
  
  
  
Romolus waved from the Infirmary window, watching Remus slump along through the dark field that night to the Willow. Since he couldn't see, Romolus conjured up a pebble, and hit Remus in the head with it to get his attention.  
  
Remus smiled slightly in the full moons light, waving back. Chuckling to himself, he headed off towards the Whomping Willow for another night of silent hell.  
  
  
A week later, Nurse Ahmand finally got fed up with Remus visiting after every other class, and let Romolus go. The first morning he was back, as he entered a bit late, every eye in the Great Hall followed him. He smiled to them all in a teasing fashion, and sat down with all his stunned friends.  
  
  
Er, hi... Rom... We thought... We thought you were dead. Kat Sanders said with raised eyebrows.  
  
Nope. Alive and kickin'... Either that or I'm a very convincing ghost. he said with a smirk, biting into a waffle.  
  
I resent that, young fellow. The Fat Friar mused mournfully as he glided by.  
  
  
  
Ah, Mr. Lupin, glad to have you back. Professor Hellen said, not a trace of sincerity in her voice, on his first day back in Muggle Studies. She pulled a chart down from the ceiling, and tapped at a picture of a war diagram.  
  
Seeing as it seems very fit with all this Dark nonsense, I thought now would be the perfect time to start a lesson on Muggle war, as different from wizarding war.  
  
She droned on for more than half an hour, pointing out all the excruciating little details on how foolish Muggles were about who and why they fought. When the bell finally rang, the mixed class of ages and Houses nearly made their own war to get out of the room. It was brilliant thing to watch, the alliances they made to throw each other aside, then betray who helped them as they elbowed each other in the faces, trying to squeeze by. It was commonly agreed thereafter that the door frame was much too slim.  
  
God, she just _never_ shuts up. Romolus muttered. I come back from hell just to have it all over again.  
  
I still don't see how you can joke about it... Remus mumbled, walking back to the Common Room for break.  
  
Look, people who get angry all the time, they're miserable. If you can laugh at yourself when you make a mistake, life is so much easier to handle. I have the same perspective for the past. There isn't any use worrying over whats already happened, so I just laugh at it. he said in a mildly philosophical way.  
  
Sirius was right. Remus laughed under his breath, smiling.  
  
That dolt? What could he be right about?  
  
That you're out of your righteous mind.  
  
Hm, I misjudged that one. He's smarter than he looks.  
  
  
  
  
You alright Remus? It's been a while. Romolus said over the hum of falling water. For over an hour he had been sitting in his' clearing out in the Forbidden Forest, drenched in rain. Without waiting for a response, Romolus picked him up, and dragged him off to the cover of thick tree.  
  
You're going to get sick. he muttered.  
  
Already am, doesn't matter. Remus replied after a moment, shaking his head in a doggy manner, sending drops of rain flying in every direction.  
  
So why are you out here, in the rain, at night, by yourself?  
  
When you were gone, I was out here for a while, and I met a nice wolf. I was just kinda hoping to see her again. he said with a half smile and a shrug.  
  
Cross-species dating just won't work little brother, hate to break it to you. Romolus joked. All things said, it just wouldn't work out in the end.  
  
Very funny... Too bad she wasn't human. I got along with her anyway.  
  
You sound like a less-than-evil Parselmouth, but in relative terms of a different creature. That always did freak me out, the whole talk to dogs' thing... Creepy.  
  
Remember when I adopted that stray two years ago? Remus smiled, and fell back on the wet grass. You kept telling me to stop growling at it over who got to eat the bacon.  
  
It was ham.  
  
Same thing. The both started laughing, wherein Romolus joined him on the ground.  
  
Good to be back... For a while I almost thought I wouldn't make it. he admitted.  
  
_You_ lost hope? And here I thought you never did...  
  
I just made it out that way. Father kind of thing, wanting to set an example for you.  
  
Well, it worked. After reality kicked me in the ass I never doubted that you'd come home.  
  
Good to know there was one of us. Romolus muttered, closing his eyes.   
  
God damn, you're right... This is relaxing. he sighed, smiling. A minute later a wolf howled off in the distance, and before Romolus could stop him, his brother answered the call.  
  
Ok, freaky wolf things... I'm out. He scrambled to his feet, and after a hasty parting, made a mad-dash back for the school.  
  
  
_Why does he flee from me? You are of kin, are you not? He should know I will not attack those of your pack.  
  
_Romolus isn't a canine kind-of-person.  
  
_Well, pity. And I did tell you he would be alright, did I not?   
  
_You got me there...  
  
  
  
  
Whash Remus asked thickly through his breakfast, peering across the table at Romolus' letter. He handed it over, frowning still, and shook his head.  
  
One of the Ministry Aurors sent me this...  
  
_R. Lupin,  
  
As we had promised ,we will keep you up to date on the antics of your previous captors. Unknown to the media as we are frankly tired of them, there's been another attack in southern France. It seems that there are more than three Dark practicers in this organization, as the newest event has an estimated twenty participants. They've established a small base there, though the French Ministry has done nothing to to destroy it as of yet.  
  
Sara Blair, second-class Auror, Dept. 963 of Dark Dealings  
  
  
_Hm. Sounds fishy. Remus said after a moment, giving it back.  
  
What about fish?  
  
Nothing Sirius.  
  
Rom, why do you have that look on your face like your hiding something I would really like to know?  
  
Because I am. And no, I'm not going to tell you... Oh look, it's conveniently time for me to get to Potions. Romolus announced, standing up with the rest of his sixth-year class.  
  
Seeya Rem!  
  
  
  
How'd you find out? Remus snapped, arms on either side of Snape's head. Asking for a bathroom pass had been plausible enough for McGonnagal, though she didn't know Remus had been watching the Marauders map, knowing Snape was out of class and in the perfect ambush location.  
  
Wouldn't you like to know. Snape said with a grin.  
  
I'm not scared of you, you know. If you touch me, even leave a bruise, I can just go tell Bane. He'll have you kicked out faster than you can blink.  
  
That won't stop James and Sirius. Remus pointed out, returning the nasty smile. And I don't have to leave a mark to hurt you. he said quietly, letting go.  
  
There are _so_ many unpleasant ways to hurt you without leaving a trace of evidence.  
  
  
**  
  
A/n- Sorry these things keep getting shorter and shorter, I've unfortunately had a brief spell of Writer's Block recently. Not to worry, it always passes. Well, thanks for reading, and if you'd be kind enough to leave a review I'd really appreciate it!! And Remus will love you forever! o_O  
  
  
**Iggie  
  
Title meaning- Ullatenus: In any respect or regard


	16. Part XVI Backdraft

A/n- Wow. This thing has reached sixteen chapters, and I thought I'd have given up at FOUR. Seems AGES ago now doesn't it? Hehe. Well, anyway, on with the insanity!  
  
Disclaimer with a Twist:  
  
Roses are Red  
Violets are Blue  
I own squat Shit  
So Ha! You can't Sue!  
  
Rating- PG-13 because I swear. I think you all know that by now...  
  
Chapter Keywords- Christmas, Marauders, travel, Shelly, food.  
  
  
  
**Note--**I'm redoing all my previous chapters, in a random order mind you, because my lack of grammar skill is getting on my nerves. So be on the look out for BETTER chapters!  
  
Seeing Grey - Chapter XVI - Backdraft  
  
  
So where are you going to stay anyway? I mean, you said you had to give up the house down in Hogsmeade... James said, passing the sign-up sheet around the Common Room. Remus had given it up without signing, shaking his head with a sigh.  
  
We're just going to wander for a bit. Loiter in any town that will take us. It's not so bad, really. And we'll be back for Christmas, we just wanted a week and a half to drift about.  
  
That sucks.  
  
No, not when things have always been like that. I guess you wouldn't really know, you've grown up in a pampered mansion. To me, luxury was a bed with sheets. I had actually forgotten beds had those for a while... he smiled weakly, and shrugged. It's not a big deal, and we enjoy it. Partially because we can do whatever the hell we want, and because we know in the end we have a place to come home to. You don't know what it's like, not many do. Having a home to come back to is the biggest relief...  
  
You're very odd. James said with a shrug, Anyhoo, wanna come play Quidditch? Me and Sirius were going to go round up a bunch of people, we know all the House passwords.  
  
I know, I got them for you. Remus said with a smile, nodding.  
  
  
  
Seeya James! Remus yelled, waving as one of his butlers drove off in the fancy Muggle car from Kings Cross. With a sigh, he tightened the satchel, the only thing he had brought with him, and looked up at Romolus.  
  
So, where are we bumming this time?  
  
I scraped some money off the Ministry for damages, so we can stay at the Leaky Cauldron for a night or two without any damage. Besides, I have to swipe some things in Diagon Alley.   
  
Well we'd better set off then, we only have a few hours to make the journey...  
  
We can catch a ride.  
  
What, with Muggles? Remus asked, rolling his eyes sarcastically.  
  
Who else? Someone's bound to be headed for the London main. Romolus said, heading off through the busy station.  
  
Like they'll pick up a bunch of strangely dressed boys needing a ride to a mysterious and not well thought of hotel-tavern downtown.  
  
It's worth a shot. Would you rather walk?  
  
We should have asked James for a ride...  
  
Good thinking. A bit late now though, isn't it?  
  
  
  
Hey, how about you carry me a bit? Romolus asked hopefully, stopping to sit on a curb about an hour from Diagon Alley.  
  
Hey, how about you carry me? You're strong enough.  
  
Oh, come on! Have pity on the hostage! Romolus said with a pathetic mock-frown.  
  
Not in your life.  
  
Come on, my feet kill.  
  
We've been over-pampered at Hogwarts, lost all the Travelers Touch. he said, biting into his Transfigured sandwich which used to be a rock. Apparently, it still pertained the aforementioned taste.  
  
Blehck... I really need ot pay attention in class more. he muttered, swallowing his pride along with the dung-tasteing food.  
  
  
  
Hey Tom, would it be possible to get a cheap room?  
  
Oh, hello there Lupin's! Glad to hear you're safe. the innkeeper said with a smile, wiping out a mug. Not a problem, you can stay long as you like for a nights price. Our business is rather, well, low at the moment. Everyone's scared from the Dark activity. he said, digging through a drawer. He produced a shiny silver key, which Romolus took with a smile.  
  
Thanks Tom, it means a lot.  
  
Not at all, not at all.  
  
The two walked up the stairs, dragging their feet along,a nd finally reached room 23. As soon as the door was open, Remus flopped inside, and claimed the bed all to himself.  
  
I guess I get the couch then. Romolus said with a shrug, folding out the cot and lying down. He rolled over, and looked at Remus thoughtfully.  
  
Maybe things are getting better for once.  
  
  
_Found him out by that old warehouse, beat up a few kids, sir.  
  
Remus struggled against the man holding him, unable to break free. If he tried any harder to free himself he'd hurt the man very badly, and after countless nightmares on killing others, the young boy was terrified to use his strength.  
  
Let me go! he yelled, only to have a hand clamped over his mouth. Romolus would have simply bitten the man, but in his case, that would present dire consequences.  
  
I won't put them through hell.' he thought to himself, kicking furiously.  
  
Think he's a runaway?  
  
He's filthy, so I'd e'spect so. Want me to go get the records?  
  
You do that, I'll keep watch on him.  
  
Aye, sir? Be careful, he's one strong little fellow. the officer warned, handing him over to the sergeant. After receiving a sharp kick in the shins and an elbow to the gut, the man cursed, and pulled out his shiny handcuffs. Remus couldn't see them, but the moment they touched his hands, he started yelling at the top of his lungs, writhing in pain.  
  
Aw, buck it up lad, we're going to find your parents, alright? the man asked, clasping them shut. Remus kicked harder, the pain searing through him like bullets.  
  
It's not that bad, please stop screeching! the man pleaded, covering his ears. Remus collapsed against the ground, cheeks wet and eyes red, face scrunched in pain.  
  
Let... Let me GO! he yelled, the pain becoming unbearable. He pulled his hands apart, snapping the chain links, yelling again. Breaking through two officers who came at him, he tore through the door, sobbing, into the night streets.  
  
he yelled, falling over a few miles away, crying into the forest dirt.  
  
_  
  
Remus! Remus, get up  
  
  
  
Romolus slapped him across the face, and pulled him upright.  
  
Wake up dammit! he cursed, shaking him. Remus' eyes snapped open, and he mumbled something, then looked around.  
  
God, you're too old to be having nightmares. Romolus said, hair sticking out in every direction and eyes simply refusing to stay open.  
  
he mumbled, closing his tired eyes and letting out a strangled sigh.  
  
he asked after a moment, falling back on the bed.  
  
he mumbled back, head buried in a pillow and tangle of sheets.  
  
  
  
  
  
For being here, for making it out alright. he said, smiling into the darkness.   
  
For always being there, no matter what. Even when you weren't there, you kind of were...  
  
Sh'too early... Morning. Romolus said in a slur before falling back asleep.  
  
  
  
  
Mr. Lupin, I would advise you to use the front door.  
  
Romolus stopped dead in his tracks, making a sour face.  
  
Caught in the act. he muttered in dismay.  
  
Under normal circumstances, Mr. Olivander said, peering around the corner from atop his sliding ladder on the shelves. I would turn you in to the Ministry. he said, smiling after a moment. I remember every wand I've ever sold, and you young man, haven't one of them.   
  
He Summoned Romolus' battered and cracked wan from his pocket, and shook his head.  
  
Twelve inches, rosewood, and a fine phoenix feather in there. Pity. he said, letting out a sigh.  
  
If you had come in this would have been easier, as I'm sure your wand has not been at its best for you.  
  
I don't have the money. Romolus said strangely after a while, figuring he wasn't going to be arrested.  
  
Not an issue. It is my duty to equip all witches and wizards properly, and that is what I intend to do. Now get down from that window, and let's get this done right.  
  
  
  
So where are we going again? Remus asked in a daze, walking on for many hours.  
  
Shelly's, for now. I have to see her.... his brother replied with a lovesick smile Remus had seen many times on James. With a sigh, he dug into his satchel, and bit into a poorly conjured sandwich.  
  
How long are we staying?  
  
Only a few days, it'll give us a chance to rest up. Shelly can drive us back to Kings Cross too, if she isn't busy otherwise.  
  
  
  
  
She's a _Muggle_? Remus hissed the minute they made way into the driveway of a classic picket-fence home.  
  
Her Mother is a Muggle born, as was her older sister that died, and a brother who lives in Romania. So the family is accustomed to magic. Oh don't look at me like that, I can fall in love with whoever I want... Romolus muttered in his defense, stopping short before the door.  
  
In all the years you two have been at it, you never once mentioned she was a Muggle.  
  
So. Doesn't mean a thing. And hey, if it makes you feel any better, she has a very small mount of magic in her blood... A Squib of sorts. But don't mention it, she gets rather testy if you rub it in... he pressed the doorbell, and was promptly greeted by an elderly-looking man with an amazed smile.  
  
Shell! Shelly, he's here! he yelled. A thunder of footsteps echoed from the staircase, and a very flabbergasted girl, much taller, and older, than Romolus answered the door. She pulled him inside, and hugged him in a death lock.  
  
Shell, you're... Killing... Me. Romolus gasped out, trying to wriggle free and not burst out laughing.  
  
  
My God Rom, we... We thought you were dead! she said, eyes starting to leak. Her mother came in from the kitchen, and smiled happily.  
  
Good Lord Romolus, good to see you again! she said heartily, hugging him as well. He was shuffled into the house, everyone fussing frantically over him for the better part of an hour.  
  
As good as part of the family. the grandfather said with a smile, putting a hand on Remus' shoulder. Want some food, they might be like that for quite some time.  
  
Yes please.  
  
AH! Romolus, he's so cute! Shelly squealed at dinner, seeing Remus for the first time. He himself was rather amazed. Shelly, whom he had expected to be a young girl, had to be at least three years older than Romolus. Like her mother, she was very tall, with lengthy brown curls and curious blue eyes. She had inherited the father's wispy smile, and his dark complexion.  
  
I don't know why you didn't bring him over before. she said thoughtfully, poking at her meal absently. All she seemed interested in was staring at Romolus, which she had been doing since they had arrived, in an almost obsessive fashion.  
  
Remus dear, would you like some more? We have plenty. Mrs. Hollen sid with a smile, holding out the tray of teriyaki chicken. He took another serving gratefully, and swallowed it almost whole.  
  
So how is everything with you two? Shelly asked after a moment, still smiling.  
  
they both said at once.  
  
Is Hogwarts going well? the mother tried, sitting down after rushing about with the meal all night.  
  
  
  
And I take it everything else is fine?  
  
the said together, sporting identical grins.  
  
God, this is just like the perfect little family I always daydreamed about.' Remus mused as they all sat down to watch television. It's almost surreal...'  
  
  
So when are you two kids gonna hitch, anyway? the grandfather asked at breakfast-a meal of pancakes and orange juice-the next morning. Romolus spit out the majority of his drink, and Shelly rolled her eyes.  
  
Dad, he's barely sixteen. Mrs. Hollen said nervously.  
  
So? Me and your mother got married when we were fifteen! the old man complained, smiling. And it isn't as if he's not part of the family already. he pointed out.  
  
Grandpa, I _highly_ doubt we're getting married.  
  
Well hell Shelly, he _is_ over all the time, and you two _are_ nuts about each other. Mr. Hollen said.  
  
  
  
Mum, dad, calm down... He's still in Hogwarts for another two years.  
  
Er, actually, this is my last. I'm doing seventh-year course work now, so I'll finish everything this summer. Romolus mumbled.  
  
  
  
Dad! We are _not_ getting married! Shelly blurted out, her face very Gryffindor-red at the moment. Remus couldn't help but let slip a chuckle, and soon enough, both Lupins were almost lolling in laughter, along with Mr. Hollen.  
  
And what's so funny? Shelly snapped, frustrated.  
  
Your mother, she panics about everything. Mr. Hollen said, trying to fight his laughter.   
  
You too. Romolus managed to squeak out, smiling wickedly.  
  
God, men are impossible.  
  
  
  
I don't know how you managed before. Remus said, flopping down on the icey ground of the thick forest. For a day straight they had been walking the mountainside terrain back to Hogwarts, following the train tracks.  
  
Used to it. Romolus said a moment later, landing nearby. They had been borrowing Shelly's broom, alternating who would walk and who would fly to conserve energy.  
  
Just be glad it isn't snowing now. Romolus added, wiping his forehead. After a few minutes, he stood back up with a long groan, and helped Remus to his feet.  
  
We'd best be going if we want to make it back by Christmas.  
  
  
  
  
Mr. Lupin? What... I thought you went out for the holidays? McGonnagal asked, eyebrows raised high above her thin glasses.  
  
We did. Romolus said with a shrug, helping to dust the sheet of newly fallen snow off his brothers back.  
  
But... How did...  
  
We walked... Are we too late for breakfast? Remus inquired, sniffing in the fumes from the Great Hall.  
  
Er, just started... she blinked a few times, trying to grasp the reality that Romolus had once again made the trek from Kings Cross to Hogwarts, and with Remus as well.  
  
Well, we'll be off then. Romolus said with a cheery smile, rubbing his numb hands together.  
  
  
  
Hey, Moony! You made it! Sirius said with a devilish grin as he sat down, gazing intently at the eggs and bacon strewn about in golden dishes. he hadn't eaten in a day, and his eyes glinted maniacally as he looked about.  
  
Famished are you? Peter asked with a smile as the majority of the breakfast relocated itself onto Remus' plate.  
  
he said between mouthfuls of food.  
  
Ok, now that you're back, we have some plans we need help-  
  
Sirius, please no! I want to go one week of my life without detention! Peter pleaded, interrupting with a groan.  
  
Rubbish. Now, about the Marauders Map...  
  
  
Goin' to bed... Remus muttered with a stout yawn, dragging himself up the staircase. Very thankfully, he fell down on his bed, pulling off his cloak thereafter. For a long moment he just let the warm feeling of an actual bed sink in, vowing to never take a mattress for granted again. He rolled over on his back, smiling up at the dark ceiling.  
  
Good to be back...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Thanks everyone!**Several people have voiced their concerns about my new fic. Well, hate to disappoint a few hopefuls, but it is not in any way based on Remus or Romolus. Rem barely makes an appearance in later chapters... So don't expect much. And I'm still debating whether or not I even want to post it. So... Yea...** Thanks for all the reviews! I love you all!  
  
Next chapter will be up in a day or two.  
  
**Iggie


	17. Part XVII Smitten

A/n- Thanks for the wonderful reviews everyone! I'm nearly in shock over it!! You are THE best!  
  
Disclaimer- Hm, let's ponder this one for a moment now. After sixteen chapters I would ASSUME you know by now. And really, why would anyone _owning_ HP be writing lowly fanfiction? Hm? I don't own anything! Bloody lawyers...  
  
Rating-PG-13 for now.  
  
Chapter Keywords- Quidditch, more food (o_O), Severus Snape and fist fights.  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XVII - Smitten  
  
  
  
  
  
Hello Severus. Remus said with a very sarcastic mock-sweetness. It was the day after Christmas, and Snape had been foolish enough to wander the halls late at night by himself. The Slytherin looked about nervously, in hopes of finding a witness, to no avail.  
  
So really, how _did_ you know? I find it rather fascinating. he said while leaning against the wall casually.  
  
Oh to hell Lupin, like I'd bother my thoughts on something as lowly as a werewolf. Snape spat, face growing cold. Remus smirked, knowing he had him scared.  
  
You'd be wise to not piss me off. You know what I can do.  
  
Like you would.  
  
Care to test that? He took a step forward, to measure Snape's will. The pale boy retreated, swallowing.  
  
Gryffindor's aren't famous for being cowards you know. He advanced another pace, still smiling. I'd suggest you tell me now how you know.  
  
Bugger off. Snape said irritably, turning to go. He cringed when Remus put a hand on his shoulder, expecting it to sear with pain as before.  
  
If you want to play, fine, we'll play. I'm told wolves like to toy with their prey before they kill it. Should be fun, eh?  
  
He gave him a playful pat on the back that nearly made the sleepy boy wet himself.  
  
Not so tough without his friends around.' Remus mused with a wicked grin.  
  
  
  
God damn... Remus muttered, eyes refusing to focus in front of him. Half an hour ago he had geared up for a riveting Quidditch match, and now he lay in the cold, snowy sand, mind flaring.  
  
Remus! Remus, are you alright? Sirius asked, landing next to him.  
Remus' face was already swelling from where one of the Bludgers had collided, bruising on impact. He cursed, as Madam Hooch wouldn't call a foul for the Bludger double-hit. Unfortunatly, there hadn't been anything illegal to call besides rough play.  
  
In the distance, James yelled for a time out, and thankfully it was granted. The entire Gryffindor team rushed down to the bottom of the golden hoops, all worried sick.  
  
Clear out. Nurse Ahmand said, her breath fogging in the cold January air. She shoved aside the six worried players, and tutted to herself.   
  
Lupin? Lupin, can you hear me? she asked loudly, conjuring a stretcher as she went. His eyes were still open, and his tongue was poking out of his mouth, but he didn't answer. Stupid boy, must you always go and hurt yourself?  
  
Potter, Black, don't follow me up. Finish the game. she snapped a second later as Remus' limp body was lifted onto the floating carrier. Reluctantly they remounted their brooms, watching as he was carried up to the Infirmary, followed by several professors.  
  
Come on... Might as well send him a few visators. Sirius grumbled with a malicious glint in his eyes.  
  
  
  
Is he alright what- James spilled out, trying to shove into the Infirmary with Sirius a short distance behind him. Nurse Ahmand chuckled to herself, and held them back by their robes.  
  
He cracked a few bones, that's all, and we're not done with him yet. So scram! Go on. she sad sternly, smiling very slightly at their pleading faces.   
  
Go now now, I'll send someone after you when we're done.  
  
  
  
We can't do much for the internal bleeding, not with...  
  
You have to do something. Romolus muttered, shaking his head.  
  
You know there isn't a great deal we can do for him. Even Muggle techniques would do more harm than good, as they all involve silver... he has so many complications from transforming that it's dangerous for his health to fix any of his newer injuries. For a werewolf, he's in decent shape though. Usually I'd expect someone a lot worse medically... she muttered, trying to ease the young man's worries. Look, if he's lucky, he'll do off with just a few broken ribs.  
  
And if not, we have to take him to St. Mungo's and have him registered as a werewolf. Romolus said in disgust, hanging his head in his hands. They'll kill him, you know. Without hesitation...  
  
I'll do what I can, but I can't promise any miracles. Nurse Ahmand said after a moment, tipping a potion down Remus' throat. He lay there on the bed, pale, immobile. Romolus looked away, solemn in his own concearns.  
  
His entire life has been a miracle.  
  
  
  
Sirius, James and Peter shoved their way into the Infirmary, smiling devilishly as soon as they saw Remus conscious. They fought over the two chairs, Sirius having to stand in the end, and were about to plague their friend with questions when the nurse spotted them.  
  
He can't talk, so don't try and make him. You have ten minutes, then I want you all out of here. she snapped, though allowing them to stay.  
  
You feel alright? Peter asked, breaking along and bothersome moment of silence. Remus smiled, and nodded his head very slightly.  
  
Ah, Jesus you should have seen the game afterwards! Sirius blurted out suddenly.   
  
We _killed_ them! Slytherin's bound to be scared as hell for a while, too. Twenty-one dismounts, sixty eight fouls and not one goal slipped by. he said proudly, smiling. Remus returned the gesture as best as he could manage, and nodded his head again. He grinned after a minute, and fumbled for his wand. Tracing it through the air, little gold letters appeared, his unspoken words, and flipped themselves so the others could read.  
  
_Strike them while they're down.  
  
_ Sirius asked, blinking.  
  
_Exactly. All of them. Except Lily of course._ he added with a smirk and wink to James. _I figure if they're going to be bastards, we might as well plant some equal game on them.  
  
_What've you got planned? Peter asked, liking the sound of all-out war against who had tormented him since he set foot in Hogwarts.  
  
_I've had a lot of time to think up here. It's like chess, really. Sacrifice a few things and we can hit them where it hurts.  
  
  
  
_Remus, you have to stop this nonsense... Lily said quietly a few days after Nurse Ahmand was freely letting Rmeus have visators. Already, Gryffindor had rallied together and planted several lead Slytherin's in undeserving, or so some thought, detentions.  
  
You don't know the half of what's going on. she said, shaking her fiery head. I feel like a traitor telling you this, but Severus is the one that organized your little Quidditch accident. He got the team to do it, God knows why.  
  
Oh, I know why alright.' Remus fumed to himself, clenching his fist's tight.  
  
_It doesn't matter. I may have missed out a few years Lil, but hell, I'm sick of them already._ he scribbled in the air.  
  
Oh, I know better than any of you that they can be bastards. she admitted lightly, shrugging. But half of them aren't. Well, a third... A fifth? But still, I know they started it, Salazar himself started the feud way back then, but you aren't helping to make things any better. This little game of pride isn't going to fix anything.  
  
_It's beyond fixing now, that wall will stay put until Hogwarts itself crumbles. Now, we're just getting even.  
  
_Just don't kill anyone and I'll stay out of it. she said with a half smile.  
  
_God Lily, you sure know how to take the fun out of life.  
  
_Well anyway, when are you going to come back? Everyone keeps asking for you.  
  
_I have a tendancy to get hurt easily, so it could be a while... Besides, I've yet to repay dear Snape for his gift._  
  
Just don't land yourself in so deep that you can't get out of trouble again. she mumbled with a roll of her eyes. I have to get back to classes, unortunatly. You aren't missing anything worthwhile..._  
  
  
  
_Lupin, if I catch you trying to sneak out of bed one more time, I'm gonna laugh like hell when your ribs snap again. Nurse Ahmand said, back still turned against the boy. Letting out a mumble of half-words, he swung his leg back into bed, and crossed his arms.  
  
I've been up here for a week, I feel fine, can't I please have one day to walk about? he bargained, rubbing at his sore throat. It had only been a day since his voice had returned, and it was being quite stubborn about functioning correctly.  
  
You're still healing, so until I'm sure that potion did its business, you're not leaving.  
  
_Please?_ My back's going to start forming to the curve of this damn bed if I don't get out of here. he groaned, rolling his eyes.  
  
Fine, you want to leave? she snapped, turning around. Go! For all I care, break half your bones again before they've healed properly! She pointed to the door, frowning. With a mad smile, Remus hopped out of bed, and made a mad-dash for the exist.  
  
HEY! I was kidding! Lupin, get back here before-Oh you're gonna get it. she muttered. Full moon tomorrow, so you can't hide for long... the nurse said to herself.  
  
  
  
Hey, Moony! Sirius grinned as he slipped into the dungeons, finally changed of the wretched Infirmary clothes and free to walk.  
  
Let you out at long last? James inquired, glad that Bane was late for class.  
  
Not exactly... No matter. So what's the current situation? he asked with a grin, looking at a band of Slytherins hunched in the corner.  
  
Oh, we've been giving them hell. Surprised you haven't seen all the explosion casualties we've sent to the Infirmary.  
  
I was in my own quarters. he reminded, smiling a bit to himself. It was quite true, he had his own secluded room for use after the full moon.  
  
Oh. Well, we got your brother banding up the older kids, and we've got a second-year wreaking hell too. It's all-out battle, really. James reported after a moment thought.   
  
Excellent. And how's Snape taking it? Remus asked with a devilish grin.  
  
Like crap. He's afraid to walk alone in the halls anymore, fear you come after him.  
  
  
  
  
  
Remus muttered as he awoke in the Shrieking Shack early in the morning along with the sun. He plucked at the splintered wood on the bed, cursing to himself. His torn wand sparked when he touched it, and fell limp, teetering by the unicorn hair.  
  
Forgot to lock the blasted thing... he mumbled in dismay, shoving the broken wand in is pocket and wiping a trickle of blood from his lip. For a while he sat there, unable to support himself enough to walk back, entire body aching. Nurse Ahmand had been right in thinking the transformation wouldn't go over well when his body was still trying to heal itself. More than anything, he felt a sharp, fiery pain along his once-shattered leg, and he winced at trying to put weight upon it.  
  
Nurse better get here soon. he grumbled. But Nurse Ahmand never came down, and near breakfast, Remus let out a groan as he stood up that wasn't from hunger. Conjuring himself a makeshift crutch, he hobbled his way down the tunnel, and out into the grounds, where he abandoned his aide less someone see. And someone did.  
  
What the hell do you want? Remus snapped irritable, shoving the Slytherin aside and onto the ground sharply. Snape smirked, brushed off the dirt, and smiled in a cocky manner.  
  
Oh, I just came to harass some pathetic little werewolf. he said, walking behind at a safe distance.  
  
Why don't you just tell everyone?  
  
It's so much more fun having my own target. he sneered. For a great distance (or so it felt to the hobbling Remus) Snape followed behind, mocking the Gryffndor to his best ability.  
  
You're simply pathetic like this. he informed. Terribly fun, actually. I should-  
  
Not so fun when you're outnumbered. James snapped, emerging from behind a tapestry.   
  
You're a bloody idiot, Severus Snape. You know that, right? Sirius added.  
  
Snape paled noticeably, and tried to keep his cool image, to no success.  
  
Get out of here before we sic the entire House against you alone. For once in his life, Severus Snape left without a nasty comment or even a wayward glare. Sirius wedged himself under Remus' arm, James doing the same on the other side.  
  
he said quietly.  
  
Not a problem, kind of our fault you were stranded there anyway.  
  
Gryffindor set the serving plates at breakfast to explode on contact, a bunch of the Ravenclaw's helped out. Nurse Ahmand's been busy with a few fried Snakes. Peter said from the side, biting back a wicked smile.   
  
Pity Snape wasn't one of the charcoal-burned. Remus mused as he was shoved carefully through the portal and into a squishy Common Room chair. He let out a sigh, and even smiled.  
  
Yeah, he was busy coming after you. Pete caught him in the act, little hawk-eye...  
  
Hey guys, how far along are you on the Animagism thing? Remus asked after a moment. James and Sirius grinned in unison, and, as usual, Peter let out a hearty moan.  
  
Give us a few months and we'll be done. Sirius confirmed with a smirk.  
  
  
  
Rem? Hey, glad they let you out. Officially that is. Romolus said the next day, bumping into him in the halls.  
  
How goes the elder ranks of Slytherin torture? Remus inquired with a smile.  
  
I put the seventh years on guard, and the fifths are too scared to even mess with any sort of retaliation. he said with a proud smirk. You know, mum was right.  
  
About what?  
  
Hogwarts wasn't ready for you. You do know this is going to ignite some huge generational war between Slytherin and every other House, right?  
  
Those were our intentions all along.  
  
  
  
Over the month of January and into early February things only got worse between the two Houses. Aside from the constant explosions, ill-wishes, foul glares and snide comments, there was more to the age-old barrier. James and Lily were considered traitors to their Houses, and everyone did their very best to rip them apart. Besides their close friends, no one wanted to see them together, and it had become physically dangerous to sit at opposing tables or near each other in class.  
  
Hogsmeade was just the same.  
  
  
And what the hell are you doing here Potter? an elder Slytherin snapped at the Three Broomsticks a week before Valentines Day. James smiled curtly, Remus flicked them off, and both sat down with Lily, now immune to anything anyone could say to him.  
  
Evans, get them out of here.  
  
Go blow yourself Johnson. she snapped, instantly putting an end to the tension. Apparently, being nasty towards House mates was considered a good thing to the Slytherins, a sign that she wasn't turning Red' on them. The four older boys shrugged, and went back to discussing the last Quidditch game against Ravenclaw to great length.  
  
God, I'm getting so sick of them! Lily said under her breath as a pack of Hufflepuffs walked by, shooting her odd glances and the occasional stray finger.  
  
At least the Gryff's aren't bothering you. Remus pointed out. Only three Houses against, to some extent.  
  
You only have us against you. she snapped, shaking her head. I'm just tired of everyone trying to split us. she muttered with a long sigh. James swallowed, and bit his lip.  
  
You aren't, er, trying to break up with me or anything... Right? Lily laughed, and shook her head. Remus snorted into his butterbeer, and chuckled along with them.  
  
She's a Slytherin James, she won't relent that easily.  
  
Lily confirmed, and James let out his breath in relief.  
  
You know, once we shut Snape up, I'm sure things won't be so bad. James pondered.  
  
Don't even touch him, he's my target... I _have_ to know how he found out! Remus blurted out, hitting his fist against the table. Lily blinked, and frowned at him.  
  
Find out what?  
  
That I- James clamped a hand over his mouth, glaring furiously at his fellow Marauder. Remus wanted to kick himself right there, and was very grateful James had stopped him.  
  
they both said at once, pretending as though nothing had happened.  
  
Tell me. she said sternly, crossing her arms and giving James the infamous girlfriend puppy-look. Remus put a hand over James' eyes, and shook his head.  
  
Nothing at all. he reinstated, muffled by James' hand.  
  
I'll find out.  
  
James replied after a few shakes of his head, vowing to never fall victim to the puppy look.  
  
I'm a Slytherin, despite what my peers think... she glared at the boys across the table, and went on. I _will_ find out what you're up to.  
  
She said it in such a tone that they both looked at each other, actually fearing their personal well-being.  
  
  
Get your bloody hands off of me!' Snape yelled. They were rolling in the early-spring mud well out of range of any Professors, Remus trying to beat the grime off of Snape, who couldn't do a thing against the werewolf. Or so James thought.  
  
Remus yelled, hands going up to his face. Snape was smiling, and dropped something back into his pocket before any of the on-looking Gryffindors could notice. Without bothering to worry over himself though, Remus foiled the attempt and landed a blow in Snapes gut, sending him backwards, wheezing for breath. Crawling for a moment, Remus got himself to his feet, and dashed off, perplexed Marauders close behind.  
  
Bastard got silver dust on me! Damn this hurts.... Shit, someone get water or something! Remus yelled, scratching at his face furiously and not daring to open his eyes. Peter, being the only intelligent one in a chaotic situation, did a simple water spell, but accidentally soaked Remus head to toe. He didn't bother scolding him, as it did serve the purpose of scattering the sterling shavings. Still panting from the wire-hot pain, a red-faced and very angry Remus nearly knocked the sink off the wall as he hit it.  
  
Damn him! he cursed, trying to calm down. I swear to God, don't even let me near him or I'll wring his slimy little neck...  
  
You'd best not... James said weakly, clearly wanting to do just the same but knowing it would put a damper on his freedom.  
  
There's got to be a way to shut that little twit up for good. Sirius pondered, watching Remus try to self-heal the little white marks all over his face from silver blisters. His broken and taped wand emitted a series of sparks, and Remus ruefully put it away.  
  
Well, now we have Lily prying and poking, and I wouldn't dare mess with her. James reminded solemnly.  
  
We just need to find some way to really piss him off and keep him quiet. Like, oh I don't know... We can't do something to his friends as he doesn't have any, and we can't likely do anything involving Quidditch as he detests the sport. Peter said.  
  
Couldn't we just get Lily to dig up some personal stuff on him? Sirius asked, tapping his foot on the tile of the Three Broomsticks' bathroom.  
  
Nah, she's trying to pry and poke on Remus, she's out of the question.  
  
Then what do we do?  
  
  
  
  
**A/n-Sorry it's been late, ff.net being down and all. Grrrr... Well, anyway, thanks for reading everyone!   
  
**Iggie  
  
If anyone out there likes movies and wants a good site, my friend Steve has one going and I owe him a favour. http://theticketmovies.tripod.com/ Check it out sometime. :)


	18. Part XVIII Rain

A/n- Here's part eighteen, and sorry again these are taking so long!!  
  
Disclaimer- Ha! Nothing. Romolus is mine I guess, but then again, I don't have any fancy copyrights on him....  
  
Rating- PG-13 for now.  
  
Chapter Keywords- Secrets secrets are no fun... And alas, there will actually be a male that shows emotion. Brace yourselves, folks...  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XVIII - Rain  
  
  
  
  
I don't know what to do. Lily muttered, shaking her head.  
  
About James?  
  
Yes! I mean... she paused, biting her lip. The pair were outside by the lake, sitting on a stone bench they had discovered a few months back. It was a common place for Remus to go when he drifted off and needed to think for a good few hours on weekends.  
  
I just... They're threatening me Remus, it's awful. she finally managed to squeak out. It's horrible, all the things they say about me. And him. It's driving me insane.  
  
Surprised you aren't, having been around James so much. Remus chuckled.  
  
I'm sorry I can't offer any help, but thing's aren't going to get better. James is pissed at all of them, for various reasons, and nothing, _nothing_, is going to get his to stop his war.  
  
Then what am i supposed to do? she grumbled, hanging her head down.  
  
  
  
LET ME GO! James shouted, pulling frantically at Sirius and Remus, who were trying to hold him back. Never in his life did Remus meet a challenge against his strength, but now, James was testing him. They held his arms behind him, fighting to keep the enraged Gryffindor at bay.  
  
LET ME GO! I'LL KILL HIM! he bellowed, trying to slip free. Remus tugged him to the ground, and pinned him there.  
  
James, calm down. he said loudly, hitting him across the face.  
  
I'LL KILL THE BASTARD! Alex, just coming from Runes, helped in keeping him down in the halls, and away from the laughing pack of Slytherins.  
  
What's bugging him? he asked, smiling as the struggle went on. Sirius had conjured a sock and shoved it in James' mouth to keep him from shouting, so they could explain the situation.  
  
Lily broke up with him. Sirius said, and James went on a new frenzy to break away with renewed strength.  
  
So why's he after Snape?  
  
He told Lily that James was cheating on her... Once again they had to put their entire effort into keeping James down, and it was a near failure. He lunged forward, but Remus tackled him down by the legs, and pulled him back.  
  
Ah. You sure she wasn't just sick of him?  
  
Nope. Probably the case... Personally I'm convinced he had some illegal charms going on since she stayed with him that long. Sirius said with a grin.   
  
Come on, we gotta get him in the Common Room and make sure the Fat Lady doesn't let him out.  
  
Kicking and screaming the entire way, the three managed to toss him inside, and confine him to a chair.  
  
  
I'll kill him. I swear to God I'm going to kill him.  
  
Sure ya will. Alex said offhand, trying once more to defeat Remus at chess. A task he had never managed, for the record.  
  
James, to be honest, I think she just needs some space. Remus said quietly.  
  
Chicks are weird, end of conversation. Sirius offered, tinkering with the ever incomplete Marauders Map. A small ripple of Amen' went around the partially full room, all from various Gryffindor boys.  
  
Oh come on James, stop crying over her. It's degrading to the entire male species. Alex said with a small smirk.  
  
Really. You can have any girl you want. They all love you to bits... Next to me of course.  
  
Sirius was immediately hit by a bombardment of pillows, chuckling as he was pelted.  
  
He's right though... Any girl within two years of you would take you up. And hey, Valentines is right around the corner, and Flitwick said there might be another dance. So chipper up, at least you get selection. We're doomed to date the same two girls off and on for the rest of our lives. Alex mumbled, looking at the only two decent-looking Gryffindor fourth years in the corner, giggling like idiots.  
  
I don't want anyone else. James muttered with a sneer. I want Lily back.   
  
  
  
Things were not pleasant during the week leading up to the affirmed dance. James had to be stopped on several occasions from assaulting Snape in the presence of Professors, and Remus was forced to have a constant grip on the back of his robes thus resulting. The Slytherins themselves were pleased that the war was at a temporary calm, as the mastermind himself was too preoccupied on a single target to concoct any plans.  
  
Potter, this is pathetic! Romolus snapped at breakfast of the twelfth.   
  
You've turned down _sixteen_ dates! Sixteen! Hell, half of _my_ friends would kill for some of those girls, regardless of age! he tried. James didn't even listen, he was too busy staring across the Great Hall at Lily.  
  
Well, I tried. Romolus said to his brother, shrugging as the mail flooded in. He was surprised to see a letter dropped in his lap, and he tore it open with red cheeks.  
  
Shelly, aye? Remus chuckled as his he nodded, face reaching a new brilliant shade of crimson.  
  
She wants me to stay with her in America over the spring holidays. You're invited too. he added after a long moment, stuffing the letting in his pocket.  
  
Nah, I'm staying here. Everyone else will be gone so I'll have the Gryffindor Tower to myself practically. he said, and frowned. Rom, why do you have that very uncharacteristic gooey look about yourself?  
  
he said, snapping back to reality.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Remus was relieved in slight that no one was bothering him anymore. Snape hadn't given him so much as a sneer, Lily had forgotten his outburst, and James wasn't mad about anything other than Lily. The day before the dance though, he was mad at himself. He had forgotten to find a date.  
  
  
I hate dances. Remus concluded, letting out a sigh. He had been sipping his punch for half an hour, and was thoroughly bored to hell. He left the Great Hall, wandered about around the lake, and dodged many couples busy with themselves. Bored with that, he loitered back to his stone bench, and found Lily staring off into the depths of the murky water. He sat down next to her oddly, very inept in the subject of social graces.  
  
You alright?  
  
It took her a moment to realize he was there, and she nodded her head slightly.  
  
No you're not, stop lying. What's bothering you, aside from the obvious?  
  
I... I miss my mum. A lot. She moved a few years ago and never came back, I guess she got sick of my father. Reminded me of James in a way. she said lightly, letting out a sigh.  
  
He still likes you.  
  
  
Back at the owlry window, James watched in a loathing state as Lily moved closer to his friend. He had been watching Lily all night, knowing he couldn't be any closer to her than this. Quite suddenly, he yelled out and scared several owls from their post's.  
  
  
The moment he set foot in the dorm a while later, he was tackled to the ground by a very possessive raven-haired Potter. It was a first, being in a fight that was an actual struggle. James managed one good blow to his eye until he was shoved up against a bed.  
  
What the hell was that for? Remus snapped, rubbing his face with his free hand. No, never mind. I already know. he said before James erupted into a fit of accusations.   
  
THE HELL'S YOUR PROBLEM?  
  
It was fortunate that Sirius came in right after, bewildered at all the shouting.  
  
Okay, someone fill me in.  
  
HE WAS SNOGGING WITH LILY BY THE LAKE- Remus clamped a sock into his mouth, and bound his hands together to shut him up for a minute.  
  
Not such a wise idea Moony, considering Jamsie here has one hellish temper over that chick. Sirius said, smiling nonetheless.  
  
We were _not_ snogging. Remus snapped, fed up with that topic from last year. James made a clear struggle at this, non-verbally protesting every word of it. We were out talking, she was depressed, I'm always depressed, and yes, we were by the lake. James started struggling again, and Sirius smirked at him.  
  
Pretty funny actually... You know, she may have dumped you for him.  
  
James eyes went wide, and he tried with all his might to tear the rope that bound his hands.  
  
Sirius, don't even! Remus snapped, glancing at James fearfully. Look, we were just talking, alright?  
  
James yelled, managing to wedge the sock free.   
  
Oh shut it. Sirius snapped, looking intently at Remus. So, how far-  
  
We didn't do anything! _I _ didn't do anything, she did!  
  
LYING PIECE OF- Sirius stuffed the sock back in place with a nod.  
  
Look, she was really pissed, alright? I didn't mean to do anything. Honest. I swear on my piece of shit life.  
  
Oh come off it Remus, admit it. Sirius teased. You _enjoyed_ it.  
  
I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! he snapped, and spun around. Before either of them could do so much as move, and James couldn't anyway, Remus vaulted over the window ledge and dropped from sight. Sirius dashed to the edge, but James grabbed him by the jeans, pulling him to the floor.  
  
We're three floors up! He's probably dead! Sirius cursed, crawling to the window and peering over. James started making muffled noises from his place on the floor, wanting to see what happened. Sirius looked down, expecting to see some splat that used to be a Gryffindor, but found nothing.  
  
  
They waited for an hour in the Common Room, James pacing and Sirius actually frowning for once in his life. When Remus finally did come through the portal, with a large black eye, he brought two Slytherins with him as well. He had his wand against Snape's back, and was sneering angrily at Lily.  
  
Go on. he snapped to the boy, prodding him in the back with his broken wand.  
  
Do it or I swear to God I'll snap your neck right here.  
  
Severus, just do it, he's really pissed. Lily muttered.  
  
he grumbled, not looking up. Potter, I'm sorry. he said in a very satirical tone, not sincere in the slightest. I lied to Lily and I know you didn't cheat on her. Happy? he snapped, turning to Remus. With a half-satisfied nod, he let his prisoner go, and he raced out of the Common Room.  
  
You too. Remus said, face red and contoured in a scowl very unbefitting the boy. No, forget it. I'll leave it for you to work out. he decided after a second, letting go of her arm and storming up the staircase to the showers. He sat against the wall, listening, as canine hearing was another improvement he had received from the bite.  
  
James, look, I'm sorry. Lily said part way into the argument. It was a very good thing everyone was still out at the dance, as they were bellowing it out at each other.  
  
YOU CHOSE A WEREWOLF OVER ME? James finally shouted, slamming his fist down on a table. Lily took in a breath of air, and Remus heard her scoot her chair back, tip, and crash to the ground. James swore, stammered something, but the sound of racing footsteps echoed through the room covered his words.  
  
Remus said, closing his eyes and sinking back against the shower stall.   
  
  
  
Remus can we-  
  
he snapped, slumming back against his bed and pulling the curtains shut.  
  
Come on, we need to tal-  
  
I have nothing to say to you. I don't feel well, so if you'd kindly leave.  
  
Look, I'm sor-  
  
He heard James' footsteps died away. And the door closed. The last of the Gryffindor fourth years had departed for Hogsmeade. Only made better for Romolus, he concluded.  
  
Come on little brother, you've locked yourself up here for over a day. he tried, breaking the spell that was placed over the bed and pulling the curtains aside. He made a face, and shook his head with a tsk.  
  
You look like shit, you know that?  
  
Nice to see you to. Remus said weakly, rolling over on his back. What am I going to do? Snape knows about me, God knows how... And now Lily does, maybe. James is still pissed. And dammit, I trusted him! he sneered, scrunching his face up and closing his eyes.  
  
Well Lily didn't tell anyone, there would have been quite a lot of commotion and people would've been asking me questions. So we're safe on that part. Romolus assured. And you could just use a nice Memory Charm.  
  
My wand's broken... And you don't know them. I wouldn't do it anyway...  
  
I don't know what to do with you anymore. Romolus concluded with a slight smile. You're going to drag me to hell, I swear... Come on, you should get out today. Or at least find Lily before she goes nuts and tells everyone. She is a chick you know. he grinned, and pulled Remus out of bed.  
  
  
  
As expected, he found her sitting on the bench, throwing flat pebbles into the lake and trying to make them skip. Remus skipped one easily, and she turned around.  
  
Can we talk? he asked quietly, not taking a step towards her. She looked up at him, turned away sharply, and made sure she was sitting in the middle of the bench.  
  
Look, we really need-  
  
I don't have anything to discuss with you. she said in a weak voice. Just go away.  
  
Lily, I-  
  
  
  
You're afraid of me, aren't you? he asked, putting a hand on her shoulder. She rolled it off, and moved as far away from his touch as possible.  
  
I'm not going to hurt you! You don't have to be af-  
  
Just please go away! She hugged herself, eyes squinted shut. With a sigh, Remus nodded, and took a few steps away from her.  
  
I'm not going to hurt you. I would never hurt you Lily... When you want to talk, I'll be waiting.  
  
  
  
  
He sat in the library alone, doing his Defense homework for a few hours. Lily crept in, quietly sat down across from him, and bit her lip.  
  
Ae you afraid of me? he asked, as she kept moving to keep herself out of his range of touch. She nodded her head, keeping her eyes fixed on the floor.  
  
Because I'm a werewolf huh? he shook his head to himself, and let out a sigh. Were you ever afraid of me before you knew?  
  
she said very quietly, not meeting his gaze.  
  
So you're only afraid because of what I am, because of the label attached?. That doesn't make an ounce of sense, you know that? Very uncharacteristic of you, Lily. he pointed out, and nodded his head. You're scared of what I _could_ do.  
  
  
  
Dumbledore can kill an entire classroom of people without any effort. That doesn't mean he will. The only people afraid of Dumbledore deserve the fate he can deliver.  
  
But.... You're a, a werewolf.  
  
Be honest for a minute. Remus said seriosuly, setting his book down. If you had known all along that I was one, would you have ever befriended me? Would you have trusted me, and looked at me as a person?  
  
No... And you're not. You're not a person! Remus cringed, and took a deep breath to calm himself before he did anything he might regret. He was near the point where he wanted to hit something, and he feared she would become the target.  
  
Do you actually think I wanted this fate? Do you have _any_ idea how much I hate waking up every day, because I have to fear the Ministry capturing me? he asked, eyes locked in deadly glare. They'll execute me. On the spot. he paused, and moved his hand across the table. Lily moved away.  
  
You agree with them, don't you? he asked in disbelief. My God, you're no better than a murderer. Remus said quietly, standing up suddenly and making Lily jump in her seat.  
  
Fear me all you want Lily, I'm used to it. My own family disowned me even. My father tried to kill me when I was young. he held up his bangs, showing her the bullet scar. That's why I never came to Hogwarts Lily, I was busy running from the Ministry and their executioners. I lived on the streets since I was _nine_, so I wouldn't _die_. They would have killed me without so much as remorse or empathy. Yes, because I'm a werewolf. he snarled, and he noticed she was starting to cry. I was no better than a savage beast, you see.  
  
You don't know what it's like, so don't you _dare_ even be afraid of me. You don't have the right. he said in an icy tone not unlike one Carlson could use on occasion. Gathering his books, he turned away from her.   
  
You're no better than the rest of them. he said. I thought it was horrible, the Slytherin prejudice. I hated all of it, because I've dealt with blind discrimination my entire life. he snapped, angry at the world. It's sad. This time, there was actually truth behind the hate. You're all poor excuses of uman beings... Good bye.  
  
  
  
  
  
_Dear Headmaster,  
  
I find I am no longer able to stay here, as it will only put my peers at risk. Several have found out, and I am certain that it will be public knowledge by the time you read this notice. Many times I have put others in grave danger, and I find the best way to solve this problem is remove myself from it completely.  
  
Thank you for your hospitality and patience, sir. I enjoyed my short stay more than anything in my life. I cannot express in words how thrilled I was to know I at least had one on my side.  
  
If Romolus asks as to where I am, do your best to assure him I will be fine. He should understand.  
  
Thank you again sir, it meant a lot to me.  
  
Remus J. Lupin  
  
  
  
_Remus set the carefully written parchment down on the Headmasters desk, and with a parting glance to a very irritated Fawkes, left the office. Silently he tread through the halls, carrying his satchel, and his new traveling companion, his broom.  
  
Without looking back, he departed from Hogwarts grounds.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Aw, isn't he just so cute and insecure? :) Sorry, I'm a wee bit hyper after all that editing. Hope you enjoyed this landmark chapter, more will be coming soon! Promise!  
  
Thank you all my loyal readers you! You're the best :)  
  
  
**Iggie


	19. Part XIX Ricochet

A/n- Sorry about all the cliffhangers and generally depressing stuff...  
  
Disclaimer- I am rather getting fed up with these, aye... Rowling and Co own it all... ::sigh::  
  
Rating- PG-13 until I say otherwise.  
  
Chapter Keywords- Remus on the Run.  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XIX - Ricochet  
  
  
  
Since leaving the ground at night, Shebea, the wolf he often met in the forest, had followed him through the woods and night streets of many towns. She was an excellent companion, and even provided him with directions to an easy meal the first night out.  
  
  
_You should not feel bad little wolf._ It was her habit to call him little wolf, as she had heard Romolus and his little brother remark. With a sigh, Remus tore the salvaged meat off the bone before putting the rest back in the fire to cook thoroughly.  
  
I'm just almost sick of living.  
  
_Why would you say that?_ she asked, taking a bit from her own portion.  
  
Well, my pack, they don't say it outright, but they kind of see me inferior.  
  
_You are strong, and young at that. There is no sense in being thrown from the pack.  
  
_They didn't kick me out or anything... Human packs are a bit different than wolf ones. It's rather difficult to explain really, but... They look down on me. They don't mean to, but a little sliver of their mind believes I'm not as good as they are. he tried.  
  
_Because you are only part of them, and only part of us?  
  
_Pretty much... It's because I'm not entirely human that's the problem. They're very strict over purity, I've never understood it.  
  
_Had you not been bitten would they treat you differently?_ Remus couldn't suppress his laugh, one thing that he knew wolves did not understand.  
  
If I hadn't been bitten I wouldn't be on the run from my entire community. he mused, tasting the meat before letting it roast longer. I'd have a normal life. And for one I wouldn't be having a conversation with you, to say the least.  
  
_I will never understand humans, they are such curious creatures. Fussing over the most illogical of ideals and hating themselves. And war. It has to be the most outright violation of sense known to Earth.  
  
_Remus shook his head with a smile, amazed. It took a wolf to teach him the truth about Man and all his mistakes.  
  
  
  
_Where are you going to stay little wolf? If you have run from your pack, there shant be many places where you wont be spotted by those hunters.  
  
_ Remus asked, flying along above the wolf.  
  
_You know, those men who wish to kill you.  
  
_Oh, the Ministry... Well I can't likely settle anywhere public, I'm dead if I go there.  
  
_Why not just stay with us in the forest? I am sure they would not look for you there.  
  
_One of _my_ pack has a special map of the forest, they would find me there. And it's far too close to Hogsmeade, the town.  
  
_I do not know what to say little wolf. Why not ask your sibling?  
  
_Romolus? No... Remus shook his head, and landed in a small clearing to rest. I'm not going to drag him into this. This is my problem.  
  
_A problem of one is the same for kin. If you are in dire need, your kin is as well. This is how it is with man and wolf alike.  
  
_ he said firmly, shaking his head to assure himself. His life is actually starting to make sense. He may have found a mate, and I wont let myself tear them apart. I'm going to solve this on my own time, without the help of anyone.  
  
_You cannot live alone. Solitude will do nothing but slowly kill you.  
  
_I have two hundred years yet to live. Solitude is the only companion I have now.  
  
  
  
_  
  
  
_For a day they made way towards London, as Remus had lived there before without so much as raising a hair to the wizarding community. Closer than he might have liked, Remus had to set camp, as the full moon would be rising that night.  
  
Hey Shebea? he asked thickly through his chicken he had caught escaped from a farm, now cooked nicely over open-flame.  
  
_Yes?  
  
_When I transform, make sure I don't go anywhere. Don't let me leave this clearing, on any condition. There are humans nearby and I don't want to hurt anyone.  
  
_Do not worry little wolf, I will keep you here without any trouble. We had a werewolf before, my pack and I. You will be calm in my presence, it is how the curse works.  
  
_Thanks Shebea.  
  
_Not a problem, none at all.  
_  
With a calm mind and easy heart, Remus lay himself down, curled up as typical before the moon. Shebea stayed nearby, one eye open, smiling in a wolfen manner as she gnawed on the remains of her meal.  
  
_Just rest little wolf, it will be alright.  
  
  
_  
  
What's hap... Remus took in a sharp gasp of air as he was kicked in the stomach, rolled over on his back.  
  
Found him Johnson. the man called, prodding him in the gut to check if he was still alive.  
  
No... Let me go... Remus groaned, trying to see. He was kicked again, followed by a laugh and crunching footsteps.  
  
Pathetic thing, ain't he? another voice asked, picking him up by the front of his robes and looking him in the face.  
  
No... Lemme... Remus groaned, voice barely above a whisper.  
  
Aye, that he is... Come on, Jacobs is offering huge sums for the capture of these things before they get that new law in place. Might as well take my reward while I can, right?  
  
Here, throw him in the truck. We'll have to drive back, Apparating would kill the beast and we need them live for the bonus.  
  
A few paces later, Remus was thrown into the back of a pickup truck along with a dead unicorn. Had he been more aware of anything, he might have realized it had been deceased for quite some time, and had developed a nasty stench. Every neuron in his body was in panic overdrive.  
  
  
No... Let, go... he muttered, eyes falling shut as he slipped away from the world.  
  
  
  
Hey, hey kid!  
  
He rolled over on his back, opening his right eye painfully.  
  
he mumbled, wondering why he felt so horrible.  
  
Here, come on kid, drink this... A small bottle was shoved through the bars and near his hands, and Remus fumbled to down the solution, his mind a blur. Things instantly sharpened, and he was able to see a young man bent down, and the bars of a rusty cage.  
  
What the hell happened? he mumbled, rubbing his bruised face. His left eye was swelled shut, and his entire body ached painfully from transformation sores.  
  
Listen to me. the boy snapped, blue eyes dancing about the room. You've been caught by the Ministry Creature Disposal members. They presented you to the executioner this morning, and he's coming in a few minutes to kill you. he said sternly, trying to find the appropriate key from a loop of many.  
  
What?' Remus snapped, suddenly more attentive. He sat up sharply, and hit his head against the top of the cage. Cursing to himself, he nodded his head as the boy went on.  
  
I'm getitng you out of here, so just be quiet and follow me. Come on, this way. he tugged at the boys arm as the cage lock clicked open, and Remus was pulled through a basement of some sort. Things passed in a blur as the boy, whoever he was, cracked a ward on a passageway and led Remus into a long, winding tunnel. About to collapse after a few minutes of running, he stopped, and slumped against the dark wall.  
  
Who are you? he finally asked, mind racing.  
  
That does not matter now. And please, we must hurry... I'll be arrested for this if I'm caught, and you'll be killed. I'm just tired of people dying without reason. the young man repeated, digging into his pockets and producing another small vial of the potion. Remus downed it, and after a brief second of lightheadedness, got to his feet steadily.  
  
Tell me which way to go, and how to get out. Stay behind for a few minutes, and if you hear anyone, start to run after me. Say I escaped. he said, biting his lip. I have a bad history of dragging innocent people down with me and getting them into more trouble than they should. I thank you, for saving my life. You have to go...  
  
Alright... Go straight until you reach a fork in the tunnel. Go left, and after a while, there will be a ceiling window. Crawl through it, and make sure you're not seen out in the courtyard. Hide behind a big statuye of an angle if anyone spots you. Try to act inconspicuous, and whatever you do, don't dratg any attention to yourself. The west gate isn't gaurded, so you can sneak through if you're quick. And you really should get back to Hogwarts, Dumbledore has been here three times already in a fit.  
  
Remus said with a small bow of his head, and parted with the very odd stranger.  
  
  
  
_She left, we had only seen her but once. Her scent is fading._ the young male wolf informed Remus that night as he lay down, tired and beaten from a long day of running. He made a little whimper of a thank you, and the wild pack raced off under the waning moon. Resting his head against a mossy rock, he closed his eyes, praying he was far enough away from the Ministry and the search party after him.  
  
God Romolus... What am I doing? Everywhere I go I'm screwed. he mumbled, wishing he had his wand or his broom. There's no place left for me, no where...  
  
  
  
  
  
His eyes shot open, and he almost struck the boy in reflex. Blonde hair shimmering in the early morning light, the stranger smiled, and pulled Remus to his feet.  
  
I thought you'd be around here somewhere... I just wanted to make sure you got away alright, the Ministry is still after you on two accounts. he said. You're lucky you don't look so well. They'd neve rbe aable to recognize you.  
  
Who are you? Remus asked, raising his eyebrows. The boy had an odd habit of turning up in the strangest places. He laughed, and smiled wide.  
  
Caleb Simmers, at your service. he introduced, giving a mock-bow and a grin. Department for the Disposal of Magical and Dangerous Creatures, fourth class.  
  
But... If you work for the Ministry...  
  
I'm an assistant, kind of. he said, and shrugged. Pulling up his sleeve, he showed off a silver scar, two lines of protruding holes. Being a werewolf, I know how it is. he said simply.  
  
Remus smiled, and understood immediately.  
  
You're a werewolf, and yet you work for the very organization that disposes of our kind? Very clever. Remus said with an approving nod, dropping his guard.  
  
I grew up in America on and off, as they don't prosecute as much compared to Britain. I was able to attend some schooling there, since there wasn't Dumbledore in my years. Now I make it my personal little mission to help out all my fellows who aren't as lucky. Caleb said, digging around in his expandable pockets for something as he talked.  
  
I'll get caught eventually, but I'll just go to the Canadian Ministry then. I have friends living over there, so not a problem. Used to living on the run, we all are, aye? he laughed. With an , he pulled a miniature satchel form his pocket, and promptly, and wandlessly, enlarged it.  
  
They took your broom afraid to say, and the wand wasn't salvageable... From the looks of it though that was old damage.  
  
Yeah, I forgot to safe lock it one moon.  
  
Yeah, I know the trouble. Ruined a good many pair of leather shoes that way... Such a horrible aftertaste too. He glanced at his watch, and cursed.  
  
If you need anything, drop me an owl. I've done my research, you're in a lot of deep shit right? Well, anyway, I have to get back before anyone suspects a thing. Caleb said quickly, nodding his head.   
  
Nice meeting you, and thanks for the help. Remus said honestly as he stuffed the business card into his pocket. You can't Apparate by any chance, can you?  
  
Not a problem. Should be quick... Hold tight. Caleb offered his hand, and in a short Pop!', they were gone.  
  
  
  
_Thought you'd find this handy. I didn't have time to explain a few things, so I'll leave you with this now.  
  
_Remus unfolded the rest of his note he had foudn in his satchel, sipping his tea thoughtfully at the little London Muggle cafe.  
  
_I have a house in Canterburry, you may stay there at any time if you need. Directions are on the reverse. Dumbledore is rather in a stiff trying to find you, as he has left numerous notices all over the Ministry. You really should go back kid, for your own good. With your old record the Ministry is going to be all over the place for you, and the last place they'd look is Hogwarts.  
  
So go on, get back to where you belong. And if you never need anything at all, consider me the first person to ask.  
  
One werewolf to another,  
  
Caleb Simmers  
  
  
_Um, sir? a small voice said from in front of him. He looked up from the dusty parchment, and frowned.  
  
Remus asked the waitress, who was back for the fifth time.  
  
Are you alright? You look rather ill...  
  
I'm fine. he said with a roll of his eyes.  
  
  
  
  
It was a scrubby little cabin, secluded away from the world, outlined by a wooden fence that was in fact fallen trees dragged in line. The dwelling itself  
was only a few rooms, a kitchen, living room, half bathroom and a hammock hanging in the corner. There was a disaster basement with quite a few locks, all scratched and chipped, that reminded him of his old moon shelter. With a sigh he opened the freezer, and wasn't surprised to find only meat, packaged neatly. He didn't take anything, not feeling right being there in the first place. Finding a clean cup, he poured himself some water, and sat down on the torn and dusty sofa. There was a television, though black and white only, so Remus idly turned it on and watched old sitcoms for a few hours.   
  
The retreat did well to clear his mind away. He knew, in the back of his mind,  
that Romolus would end up marrying Shelly at the end of the year. It was a fact as clear as the sky was blue, and grass was green. They'd invite him to stay with them, and he'd refuse, then live on his own again. Everything in his life was a continuous cycle, doomed to repeat itself over and over. Things would be bad, then some breakthrough and he'd live a short life of bliss, then be let down and shoved away.  
  
It never changed.  
  
  
  
Well into the next day, Caleb came over, opening the door with a smile. Remus was asleep on the couch, drooling slightly, the television playing a 50's show of a stereotypical perfect family.  
  
Figured you would have run off to here. he said, nudging him awake. Remus yawned, and nodded his head, then jumped slightly.  
  
Who's she? he asked, pointing to the young girl making herself at home in the kitchen.  
  
Another one of my little rescue projects, she lives with me now. Kind of an adoptive sister sort of thing. Caleb said, calling her over.  
  
Elise, this is Remus Lupin. Remus, Elise Newman. he introduced, both of them smiling. If you don't mind, we need to stay here for the night before we hit Canada. I got caught again. he said with a shrug, magically igniting the small beaten oven to heat and moving pots about.  
  
It's your house, why should I mind? And what do you mean Caught again'?  
  
I've been kicked out from Greenland, Scotland, northern Russia, France and now England, in order. he said after a moments thought.  
  
Geez... All because of helping people? Me? he asked, feeling a guilty sink in hsi stomach.  
  
Yeah, I don't mind though. Caleb laughed, and started cooking a very large portion of meat that could feed ten men, or barely three werewolves.  
  
Hey Remus, the tall brunette asked after a moment, seating herself next to him. You don't look too well. Are you sick? It is on the wane... She peered at him, her brilliant blue eyes seeming to search his very soul.  
  
He blinked, not understanding. In all honesty he knew next to nothing about his own curse, and most of which he did know was from short book articles.  
  
We're immune to most anything before the moon, but after we're terribly prone to catch something. Caleb explained. You don't know too much do you?  
  
I've never really bothered to learn... he mumbled.  
  
No, I mean social graces. You're quiet.  
  
I only have two good friends now. The others found out. he said quietly, almost to himself. The two others nodded, and dropped the subject entirely for a while.   
  
  
After a long and filling dinner, Elise disappeared to the basement, and came back hours later with four vials of steamy potion. She downed one, as did Caleb, and the other two were handed to Remus.  
  
One's our own formula for post-transformation. We take one a day for a few days after, it helps to heal everything. Caleb said as he started to cook up another steak for himself.   
  
The other is a common healing potion, as it's the only thing I can do to help you. I was never aloud proper magic training, I learned it all from books. Elise said, assuring him it wasn't poison as he was staring at the blue liquid apprehensively. Have you even seen yourself recently? she questioned, and pulled him into the bathroom. Remus gapped.  
  
His hair was nearly grey at the scalp, thin and brittle. Once blue eyes had turned dull, and his skin was deathly white, devoid of all colour. He had the general appearance of a child suffering from a prolonged case of the flu.  
  
Jesus, no wonder everyone kept pestering me on my health. he muttered, slightly amazed he was so terrible looking. Even the dust covering the mirror did nothing to hide his pastey look.  
  
You really should get back to Hogwarts, it could be serious. Caleb muttered as he returned, frowning deeply.  
  
I can't.  
  
  
  
Remus lay down on the floor, on a blanket he had conjured, and looked up at the ceiling intently.  
  
Last year my three friends found out. Two are fine with it, for the most part. he said.  
  
You're lucky, to have found them. There aren't many left in the world.  
  
I know... One is a little scared of me, but we weren't close to begin with. It was a very forced and unemotional friendship, me and Peter. Either of us could have moved away and not a thought would have been shed. But this girl, Lily, we _were_ great friends. he said with an ice seizing his throat.   
  
She's terrified of me now, and she must have told everyone. She's a Slytherin anyway. he added, and the other two nodded as if this explained it all. But God, I can't go back now. I'm sick of having to live in fear of everything, and have people cower from me. I... I want to live a normal life. he trailed off, shaking his head. He had known these people well for less than two hours, and he was spilling out his heart to them without caution. It might have been the fact that they were werewolves, and they shared the same fate, or just that Caleb had given a lot to help him out. Either way, it was a weight lifted from his shoulders, and he started to feel less nauseous the more he went.  
  
I just can't go back. he decided. My brother, he's wasted his life looking after me. I'm not going to steal it from him anymore.  
  
I had a family before I was bitten. Elsie offered, trying to keep him from getting any more depressed. They turned me in to the Ministry as soon as they found out. Caleb got me there, a few years ago.  
  
My mother tried to kill me, I have a couple bullet marks still. Idiot used lead though, didn't really hurt that much. Caleb said thickly, as he was gnawing on his second dinner.  
  
My father shot me, once. Silver bullet to the head. Remus said quietly, his hand running over the mark absently. The others winced, knowing the pain.  
  
Knowing the pain.  
  
That was it, that was why he felt safe. They knew his pain, they knew it all. They weren't close, and they didn't make him laugh like James and Sirius, but they understood. Both of them knew everything, all the suffering and hardships of living each day. All the cruel twists of fate.  
  
Curling the blanket up to his chin, Remus closed his eyes, and le this mind drift away to another world.  
  
  
That night, Remus slept better than he had in years. No nightmares of his father, no dreams that Hogwarts knew, no fear that the Ministry was going to execute him as no more than a rabid beast. His vision was not plagued by Romolus being dragged to hell along with him, or anything at all.  
  
He simply slept.  
  
  
In the morning they were gone, a note saying they would be in Canada and how to contact him. Elise had cooked him a large ham for breakfast, and left a flower on the table as a cheerful reminder to stay happy. There were two more vials of the different potions, and a note.  
  
_Get on back to Hogwarts, where you'll be safe. You have friends there who are probably running amok without you._ Elise wrote in her neat, punctual blue penmanship. Caleb had added his own hasty note at the bottom.  
  
_Go or we'll find you, and drag you there ourselves. I'm serious. You're sick and you're depressed, so get the hell out of my house :)  
  
  
  
Rom, can we go home now? Remus asked, hiding a clever smile.  
  
We don't have a home, you know that.  
  
Wherever you are, I consider that home.  
  
But I'm right here. he said with a quizzical look.  
  
Alright then, this is now home. Or over there, it's home too. Remus said with a smile, watching the Christmas snowflakes fall silently.   
  
Just what?  
  
Just stay by me, alright? As long as you're here I'm always at home.  
  
  
  
  
_**A/n- Thanks for reading! Caleb and Elise are soon to become very important indirect kind of characters, so you'll be hearing of them every now and then. If you have any rants, death threats, ill-wishes complaints or anything else, send them to AlyssaC7@aol.com with IGGIE in the subject heading. Thanks, and I hope you enjoyed the nineteenth installment of Seeing Grey!  
  
**Iggie


	20. Part XX Corners

A/n- Twenty down, God knows how many more to go! Any complaints or suggestions can be sent to me, I might read them... o_O  
  
Disclaimer- Nothing. Nothing at all so just bugger off.  
  
Rating- PG-13 until I say otherwise...  
  
Chapter Keywords- Can't think of anything to say!  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XX - Corners  
  
  
  
  
_You are going to go in, are you not little wolf?_ Shebea asked, nudging him with her head playfully. Remus sighed, and bit his lip.  
  
_You came this far, now you must go in. They will find you anyway. Go on._ she whimpered, nudging the backs of his legs harder.  
  
Alright alright... I'm going. he muttered, taking a few steps forward.  
  
He had stayed in the cabin for a few days to clear his mind, and sort out the rest of his thoughts properly. With a smile, he realized had he not been very ill he probably would never have come back. Loosing any food he swallowed for three days straight had been enough motivation to send him on way back to the school.  
  
I'll see you later. he said, walking backwards and smiling at the wolf.  
  
_I know. Now go on, I'm sure your pack has missed you something awful little wolf.  
  
  
_Every now and then he would pause to lean against a tree, his breaths coming in shallow gasps. In ten minutes time he had made less progress than a cripple might have. Eventually though, he reached the forest edge._  
  
_No sooner had the last of the dark tree's faded into the background, two ecstatic figures came bursting out of the Hogwarts doors. With a half smile, Remus staggered forward, his vision blurring slightly. He stayed conscious long enough to see James and Sirius smiling wide, the Marauders Map in hand.  
  
Remus, what took-   
  
That was the last of what he heard, and he crumpled to the ground in a cold heap. James blinked, looked to Sirius, who merely shrugged.  
  
Never a dull moment with him around.  
  
  
  
It was a strange sensation to be awake, but unable to move, open your eyes, or voice any thoughts. That was the very thing that happened to Remus when he awoke a while later in a comfortable, private hospital bed. Nurse Ahmand, and a collection of voices he couldn't hear as well, were all conversing nearby.  
  
Dumbledore, we _can't_ admit him to St. Mungo's. she snapped, her irritable voice distinguishable above the others. Dumbledore, for the soft tone must have belonged to him, spoke after quickly.  
  
He's been ill for far too long, and it is not going to get any better while he is here.  
  
Sir, why don't we contact someone from Mungo's to come here? I'm sure there must be someone who would treat him and not tell of it. a male voice said. Remus tried to see what was going on, but his eyes simply would not open. He couldn't move anything for that fact.  
  
I have already tried, to no avail. We only have the option of admitting him as a registered werewolf, or praying for the best here. And unless he regains any normal activity soon we won't have a choice anymore.  
  
Again he tried to move, to tell them he was alright. Aside from a splitting headache and nausea, he was perfectly fine... If only he could tell them!  
  
How long will you give him, before it's critical?  
  
I should say a few hours... He's been getting rapidly worse in the past few days. Nurse Ahmand said with a long sigh.  
  
Days? He had been here for _days?_ What was going on?  
  
Romolus dear, you really should get back to class. another voice said a moment later. You've been here all night, and he isn't showing any signs of recovery.  
  
When he wakes up, I'm gonna be here. he snapped, in such a finalized sort of way no one dared to argue.  
  
Romolus!' Remus tried to yell, but it only rang through his mind. Romolus please, I'm alright! Don't worry...'   
  
He didn't know how, or why, but he certainly didn't question his good fortune. Romolus drifted away from the conversation, and leaned over the bed. Remus felt his breath, and a hand on his face.  
  
he asked quietly as the Professors began to debate how long they should wait and how to handle him once he was registered.  
  
Remus? Can... You can hear me, can't you? he asked again with an amused sort of laugh to his voice.  
  
Headmaster, Nurse... Look! he shouted suddenly, smiling (though Remus could not see it). He heard them gather about, and Dumbledore chuckled to himself.  
  
  
  
He's smiling, I'm sure he can hear me! Romolus declared, and Remus tried with all his might to keep smiling, no matter how difficult it was.   
  
Sarah, go fix him something with Aphrodsel in it. a professor said. In a manner of minutes, the Infirmary was in a general hustle, moving about at a wild pace, trying to find or mix this or that. Romolus never left his side.  
  
You'll be fine Remus, nothing's wrong as long as you stay awake. he assured. It was hard, painful even, to stay conscious. His head throbbed with each passing minute, his chest rattled with every breath. He wouldn't relent. He owed it to Romolus to stay.  
  
  
Three days passed and he managed ot stay awake. He hadn't eaten properly in over a week, slept normally as long, or been able to function right. James, Sirius and Peter were let in that morning, and it helped him just to hear them all laugh. Romolus never left his side.  
  
  
Come on, drink this down, we might be able to get you mobile again. Nurse Ahmand said that afternoon, helping him to drink a boiling hot, foul-tasting potion. Instantly he felt lighter, a little tingle of fire spreading about his numb body. Romolus let tout a small whoop of happiness as he managed ot flex his fingers.  
  
Well, now we just have to wait it out. the nurse said in a very relieved tone, almost laughing she was so overjoyed. It was strange, having people care so much for him. He had grown up thinking he would die, and Romolus would be the only one to care one way or the other. Now, all around the crowded little private room, people celebrated the fact that his hands were working.  
  
Two days and countless potions later, he was able to speak, and slowly, his vision returned. All he saw were blurry, colourless shapes and shadows, but it was a relief. Sitting up and smiling, almost crying to himself, he held tight to his brothers hand.  
  
They say you'll be alright in three days if it goes well, they brewed a new solution for you. Romolus told him, his black and white smile very noticeable. Remus nodded, overwhelmed. Dumbledore had been talking to him every day, telling him of what would happen when he returned to the school officially.  
  
To the student body, with the exception of Mr. Black and the lot, believe you have been out on a vacation in America. When questioned, you must remain consistent and do _not_ let on about what has happened. he said gently, but in a very firm manner. The Ministry is still after their escaped werewolf. Remus saw the hint of a smile, and nodded. And, if your eyes are working well enough, you have a letter.   
  
  
Squinting furiously and enlisting the help of a magnifying glass, Remus let out a laugh.  
  
_Dead yet? No, obviously not anyway. Just wanted to check that you made it alright, Elise has been nagging me to hell over you. I think she fancies you a bit. Lucky bastard. Anyway, hope you're well and all that chick stuff... Elise is watching over me you know, so I'm supposed to sound sincere. (Insert a very loud ouch here, as she will smack me) Yes, she did... Well, anyway, good luck with the Slytherin girl. And everything, and all that... Sorry, I think the butterbeer I ordered was a bit more, pardon if I sound very illogical and all that... Yes, I'm rambling. I think I'll go. You'd better not be dead. I had to stand out in the woods for an hour to find an owl.  
  
Cheers and Steaks, Caleb  
  
_After he had stopped laughing, he turned it over, and saw the very different scrawl from the girl.  
  
  
_Don't mind him, he's an insensitive git. But you knew that, didn't you? Pity you had to be saved by a complete nutter. But I remembered something from another one of Caleb's events, she almost died from some weird illness. Hoping it isn't the same! I have to go, our train is leaving and this is one angry little bird.  
  
Elise_  
  
  
Found some friends in your journey? Romolus asked. Dumbledore had left, and his seat was again shifted to the next person waiting.   
  
Er, along those lines... he said quietly, coughing up a small amount of blood. Romolus was about to call for the nurse, but Remus managed to stop him.  
  
he choked out.  
  
Oh to hell you're fine... he mumbled, shrugging. It was no use to fight with a Lupin, let alone the infamously stubborn Remus.  
  
  
  
Confined to his bed for the larger part of a week, he had a long time to think. Romolus used to complain that he thought to much, and it would some day be the end of both of them. To Remus, thinking deeply about life in general was the only escape from the world. When one wasn't supposed to sleep for over one hundred and sixty eight hours, there was plenty of time to think.  
  
Romolus and Shelly were to marry, he was now sure of it. James informed him that Romolus had disappeared three days after he ran off, and came back a few days later. When in doubt, run to the nearest chick.  
  
So with that in mind, he began to plan the rest of his life, as if it would follow such a certain path without alteration. He would stay with Caleb and Elise, and do his best to help them help others. If that didn't work, he'd work at Zonko's down in Hogsmeade so he would have a guaranteed safe shelter for the moons. He would stay there until he had enough money to support himself fully, and then move out to a small village, away from the world.  
  
For three days he was lost in the euphoric bliss of security, until a certain fire-haired Slytherin wandered into the Infirmary.  
  
He didn't say anything as she peered into the room, and slowly made way to the seat. For a while she just sat there, staring at him as though nothing in the world was quite the same.  
  
What, not scared of me now that I can't move seventy percent of my body? Remus asked. Lily didn't react to his words, but she finally did speak.  
  
How are you?  
  
Oh, just spiffing really. I've been told I contracted a virus that attacks the nervous system and I nearly died and all that lovely stuff. Haven't slept or eaten in a week, and at one point a little back I was almost executed by the Ministry. Just fine, and you? he said, fighting back a smile. For some reason, it felt good to be evil in this situation. Pent up aggravation at the world just spilled out so freely in the words of sarcasm.  
  
I... James told me you were really sick.  
  
Yes, he's very good at telling things he shouldn't, now isn't he?  
  
And for no reason at all, once again, Lily bent over and hugged him. He couldn't feel her arms, and he couldn't see how red and teary here bright green eyes were properly. He didn't need colour of feeling to understand.  
  
  
  
Again defying any logic, though the world held little, he felt a tear on his cheek. Whether it was his own or Lily's, he never bothered to learn. For quite some time, they just sat there, Lily refusing to let go of Remus for fear he would not return.  
  
  
  
Go straight to your dormitory. Nurse Ahmand said as she helped Remus into his robes. Convinced at long last that the Infirmary could offer no good for him, he was being released into the school.  
  
You are not to eat any meals for a day, and if _anything_ goes wrong, you come here immediately. Clear?  
  
Gotcha. Can I go now?  
  
Take one of these twice a day, in the morning and at night. They'll keep you from sleeping and make you less hungry.  
  
Got it. Now can I please leave?  
  
You need to make sure that you don't-  
  
I _know_. Remus snapped. Can I go? _Please_?   
  
  
  
Hey, have fun in New York? Alex asked as he crawled through the portal with difficulty, as he hadn't been able to use his legs in quite a while.  
  
It was great. he lied, walking unsteadily to the spiral staircase, pulling himself up it.  
  
When's our next class?  
  
It's Friday afternoon. Alex looked at him oddly, raising an eyebrow.  
  
Right... Forgot. What about Quidditch?  
  
  
  
Sorry... Bad memory. he mumbled, walking into the almost unfamiliar dorm and finding his bed. He lay down, closing his eyes, wishing he could sleep but knowing it was too dangerous. After a few moments of relishing his freedom, he decided to write back to Caleb.  
  
Er... Maybe not. he mumbled, fumbling horribly just to hold a quill straight. After some practice, he managed to get a few short sentences scratched out on paper.  
  
_  
Hey, I'm alright now, not to worry. They locked me up in the hospital wing for a while. The nutters won't let me eat! It's been a while since I have. Sorry if you can't read my writing, can't control my hands too well. Hope everything is alright there, don't get caught this time.  
  
Remus_  
  
  
At dinner time, as he wasn't allowed to eat, he went to the owlry and mailed the letter. Remus mentally was torn between being glad to be back, and guilt.  
  
I can't keep running away from all my problems. he muttered to no one. Kicking at a stray crumpled paper ball in the hallways, he walked along, one hand against the stone wall for support.  
  
I'm sick of having to mess everyone else's lives up just because I make so many mistakes.  
  
Talking to yourself again Lupin? A lunatic in more than one way.  
  
He would have liked to kick him then, but he didn't trust his strength to do such. Instead, he gave a sarcastic sort of smile to the Slytherin.  
  
So where did you go? I don't buy that bullshit about America.  
  
Remus ignored him, and decided to take a shortcut to the Gryffindor tower.  
  
For Christ's sake, I'm not trying to be snide.  
  
You're failing. Miserably, I might add.  
  
Well Jesus... Pardon for attempting to be civil. Snape muttered with a roll of his eyes.  
  
And why _would_ you try to be nice? Remus asked, turning around and walking backwards, hand off the wall.  
  
Your life is obviously a load of shit, all things considered.  
  
You know nothing about me. Remus faltered, and had to stop for a moment to catch his balance.  
  
I know more than I let on Remus. he said quietly, for the first time using his first name.  
  
Whatever... I don't understand you, and I never will. Yes my life has been going less than perfect right now but it's improving. So kindly bugger off. he snapped, vision flaring out for a moment. Leaning against the wall, he took in a few breaths, waiting for the headache to rush by.  
  
Are you alright?  
  
Never ask me if I'm alright. I'll either lie or end up killing you.  
  
Alright then... I'll rephrase. Are you going to make it back to your dorm without keeling over dead? There was an obvious hint of a smile, though for once, it wasn't satire. It was just innocent amusement, something that looked horribly wrong on his face.  
  
  
  
Heal yourself then, temporarily. The Infirmary is too far away-  
  
I don't have a wand. he realized, cursing to himself. It had been forgotten with everything else going on. And he didn't have money either. How could he try to learn magic without a wand? He leaned up on the wall, and slowly slid to the ground, his eyes not working again.  
  
Can you go find my brother, please?  
  
A Slytherin doing a decent favour for a Gryffindor was a rare thing, but Snape did it without question.  
  
  
  
Remus mumbled in a half-voice as his brother deposited him in his bed.  
  
Not a problem. Are you sure you're-  
  
he said with a yawn. No, not fine... I lost my wand, not that it was much good anyway, broken and all... We can't afford another.  
  
Don't worry about that right now, all things considered, we have a lot more important manners on our hands. Romolus said as he made himself busy fixing up the room.  
  
he said in a half-voice. Romolus heard him.  
  
No what?  
  
No, we' don't have anything. I do. You have to stop being my father, alright? I can take care of myself, and I have a place to live now. Remus said importantly. Go stay with Shelly, and stop worrying about me. You have to live your life a little.  
  
Can't do that. You're my brother, and I'm always gonna be there for you. Hands down.  
  
  
  
Well... You should be alright now... Eat lightly and don't sleep for more than four hours, to be safe. Nurse Ahmand said with an approving sort of nod, smiling. Free to go. And no Quidditch! she called as he shut the door, pretending to not hear the last bit.  
  
Swear to Merlin that boy is gonna kill himself. she muttered with a laugh.  
  
  
he muttered, remembering halfway down to the dorm that he didn't have a broom anymore. More money wasted...  
  
Mr. Lupin?  
  
Yes Professor? he asked apprehensively as McGonnagal popped her head out the door.  
  
We collected some relief funds form the Ministry, for the damage to your broom and wand. Some creative lying, I might say, but we got the money... Remus noticed she was smiling, rather tightly, but she was very amused by the fact that they had managed to rip the Ministry off of quite a few Galleons.   
  
T-Thank you.  
  
Nurse Ahmand will be escorting you down to Diagon Alley this afternoon to get your things. Be in the Great Hall at two, if you will.  
  
Thank you.  
  
  
  
_I think things may be getting better now. Or at least they seem that way. This time, I'll make sure the cycle breaks. I'm not going to let things be ruined again, for the sake of everyone.  
  
_**  
  
A/n- Well, that was a one-day chapter! Wow! Hope you enjoyed. All comments, complaints, and tips can be sent to AlyssaC7@aol.com as walways. :) Next one comming soon!  
  
**Iggie 


	21. Part XXI Effluo

A/n- Here we go again!  
  
Disclaimer- REALLY I'm sick of these! J.K. owns it all....  
  
Rating- PG-13 as I swear in this one.  
  
Chapter Keywords- Optimism people, yes... An uplifting chapter. Snape, the Werewolf Duo, and some surprises are in store.  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XXI - Effluo  
  
  
  
  
By late March, Remus was nearly recovered from his medical mishap. He endured two more weeks of black and white vision, and little sleep without many problems. His classes went well, as he finally had a proper wand, and Quidditch was amazing on his new StormChaser. James and Sirius were the real reason he was able to deal with life, constantly keeping a smile on his face through their insane antics. When the spring Holidays rolled around and Romolus departed for America with Shelly, things became a little crazy.  
  
Hey, where are you staying if Romolus is leaving? James inquired as he passed the sign-up sheet along through the Gryffindor table.  
  
Met a few people when I was out. he said shortly, and he dropped the subject promptly. James had learned to not pester his personal life, and take a hint as to when he should forget about something said.  
  
We're all going to the Quidditch tournament in Ireland. Sirius declared proudly, rubbing his hands together as the parting feast of prime rib appeared on the table. Remus took a small bit, still on medical watch, and quickly ate it in a few swallows.  
  
England's going to get creamed. Peter said, and Sirius scoffed him on the head.  
  
Yeah right! They signed Dormiges, there's no way they'll loose!  
  
They'll do alright in the preliminaries, but I don't know about the quarters. Italy has a strong team this year. James remarked.  
  
Don't forget Albania. Alex reminded, joining in on the topic.  
  
They aren't good enough to live past Russia, their Seeker is too slow.  
  
But their Beaters! They're wicked!  
  
It won't do any good if their Seeker can't catch the damn Snitch. Sirius grumbled, and the argument went on for quite some time. Remus drifted away from the crowd, and decided to go see if Lily would tolerate him sitting with her again. As soon as he moved, the majority of Slytherin offered him nasty glances.  
  
Lay off. Snape said irritably, and almost instantly, the scowls disappeared. Lily fidgeted in her seat slightly, scooting a few inches away.  
  
It's alright. Remus mumbled, moving a good distance away to keep her calm. She nodded an apology, and went back to poking at her meal.  
  
Lil, what's bothering you? Remus asked quietly as the Slytherins were distracted by an intense argument down table. You've been acting rather odd lately...  
  
You could have died. she said very quietly.  
  
Ah, it's nothing. I'm alright now. Lupin's don't go down that easily, trust me. He smiled to try and convince her he was perfectly fine, but she continued to bite her lip and poke her dinner absently.  
  
You know, I never will understand women. he said with a shrug.  
  
Amen to that. Snape said from across the table, grinnly very slightly.  
  
  
  
  
Remus landed in front of the small cabin hidden away in the woods, and found a note pinned to the front door.  
  
_Figured you'd come back for spring, so Elise and I cleaned up a little. Stocked the refrigerator so you won't starve, don't worry about paying me back. Consider it yours. Well anyway, expect a boy, tall, blonde hair, to come in maybe Saturday morning really early. I got a kid out from Canada and their search team is impossible here, so I sent him to the Retreat. It's what I call the cabin, if you were a bit clueless. His name is John and don't bother him, he's been through hell. You know that, so why am I even telling you... I swear to God I'm about to loose my mind. Have fun, and don't blow anything up.  
  
Again, I think Elise fancies you. If you care she keeps going red if I mention you and she's all fickle about you being sick. Crazy chicks...  
  
Caleb.  
  
I am not!_  
  
He grinned at the last line written by Elise, and opened the door. Briefly he wondered why there wasn't a lock, but then again, it was in the middle of nowhere. Dropping his old satchel at the door and propping his broom in an umbrella rack, he went straight to the refrigerator and found a carton of milk to down.  
  
Yeah, I could get used to this. he mused out loud, Summoning a bowl of cereal from the counter a few minutes later. Better than being stuck in the Infirmary, that's for sure.  
  
  
As expected, Saturday mornign brought a bloodied blonde boy to the front door of the cabin. He didn't even give Remus a second look as he staggered inside, depositing himself on the ground, back against the wall.  
  
Need anything? Remus asked calmly.  
  
Got any aspirin?  
  
You a Muggle?  
  
That guy called me that, and I need some aspirin. he snapped, unwrapping his bleeding arm and wincing in the process. Damn bullet. he cursed weakly. Remus made himself busy with a simple Healing potion on the stove, and brought over a shredded shirt from his satchel.  
  
Don't change them yet. Remus said, setting down a pail of water and a sponge. Clean it off, and dry it.  
  
There was a large, open gash, white at the edges, across his entire forearm. It was very obvious to Remus it was the wound caused by a silver knife. A few inches down, he could see the remains of a hole left by lead bullet.  
  
  
Do you mind if I do a little magic? I can fix it very easily. Remus tried, pulling out his wand. The boy nodded, grimacing as the flesh started to lap over itself, forming like pressed clay into one single piece again. Once done and assured it had been completed properly, Remus went to fetch the thick potion from the kitchen.  
  
Here, spread this on. It stings like a bitch but it'll help. After the pasty solution was on, he helped to secure a new bandage, and smiled.  
  
I got shot in the head, consider yourself lucky. he said, holding up his bangs. The Muggle boy nodded, and hung his head down.  
  
Two days ago I was in high school, living a semi-normal life. Now I'm an escapee from the Ministry of Magic thanks to a _wizard. _Hell, I doubt I'll have a normal life again.  
  
You wont. But at least you're alive... Caleb helped me a few weeks back. I got caught in London.  
  
Oh. I was in Quebec.  
  
I can tell by your accent. Remus said simply, and offered a banana. I was gonna cook some steak, or attempt to, if you want that.   
  
  
Outside of asking if he needed anything else, Remus didn't share very much conversation with the newest success story of Caleb's program. By the afternoon John was sleeping contentedly, and he left for a relatives home a few hours into the next day. For a while Remus was jealous, having somewhere to run was always a luxury he could never afford. But then reality smacked him across the face, reminding him that _this_ was his home. Hogwarts was his home. Anywhere he felt safe and was under the care of his friends, that was home.  
  
With that logic in mind, Remus concluded that when he left this home, he would still be going home.  
  
Relieved to be away from all his troubles, he fell asleep without setting his alarm. Eleven hours later he woke up with a pounding headache and an empty bottle of aspirin.  
  
he mumbled, rolling off the couch. On his way to the bathroom, he found a note delivered through the owl window lying on the kitchen table.  
  
_We'll be back for the moon, there isn't a safe-house here. Make sure there's food.  
  
Elise  
  
_What, am I supposed to hunt or something? he grumbled, setting it aside. After a long time in the bathroom, he slumped out and looked at the basement door. Curiosity overcame him, and he walked down the dark staircase until a set of lights turned on instantly.  
  
His first impresseion was of a cliched Muggle mad-scientist lab. Boiling vials with tubes running to other vials and tubes lined a steel table, linking into each other and cramped for space. It had the general appearence of an industrial jungle.  
  
What the hell... he muttered, walking around some self-stirring cauldrons over safety fires. Half of the room was done in this fashion, while the other half was a shelf of books all related to werewolves or advanced potion brewing.  
  
he said with a shake of his head, unable to comprehend anything at the moment. Off against the back wall, he found a massive wooden door lined with steel, and locked a hundred times over with silver. On either side there were doors exactly like it. Finding an old pair of leather gloves on the ground, he undid the series of silver locks, and found a grubby, but very secure, safe room. There was nothing in it except a nailed-down rug to lay on as far as furnishings went. Deep scratches covered the wooden floorboards, while similar carvings were etched on the stone walls, obviously from various lunar occupamnts.   
  
Safer than the Shack I guess...  
  
  
  
He waited until seven, and bit his lip, looking out the window longingly. Caleb and Elise hadn't come as planned, and it was getting very close to moonrise. Deciding they had found somewhere closer to stay, he rushed down the stairs and shut the door on himself, slipping all the locks into place and setting the gloves up high on a shelf. He curled up on the rug, hugging his knees, waiting the few minutes until the moon would ignite the chain reaction he was so accustomed to.  
  
  
  
Remus awoke in a start to the screaming above. Ignoring the bleeding gash on his face, he found the gloves, and undid the silver locks with shaky hands. Climbing the steep creaky stairs, he found Caleb and Elsie trying to support each other through the doorway. They looked worse than John had, and Caleb looked near dead in all honesty. Immediately helping them to the couch, he conjured a handful of bandages and the leftover healing balm from the sink.  
  
What happened? he asked Elise, as the boy looked in condition to relive whatever incident that had occurred.  
  
We got held up by work, he had to stay late... We didn't make it to an Apparating zone and we got stuck in the woods last night. she said, keeping her eyes shut. He got shot twice, the bullets are still inside. One to the arm and one in his side, they missed anything vital as far as I can tell. I can't get them out though... I'm mostly Muggle, I only do potions and herbs and all that.  
  
Remus levitated the bullets out slowly, and winced as he touched them.  
  
Pure silver... He threw them aside, and tried to get Caleb to stop squirming.  
  
We need to get him to a hospital, a Muggle one. Those could have hit something and internal bleeding is not something to take lightly.   
  
We can't, the only one nearby knows he's a werewolf. He got shot before-  
  
How many times has he been hit? Remus asked, mouth hanging open. Being shot once was a hell of its own, but more?  
  
This is his fifth incident, and it's not the most serious. Just get him to lie down... C'mon Caleb, on the floor. Elise directed gently, helping to roll him over on his uninjured side.  
  
Caleb muttered, closing his bloodshot eyes and trying to sleep.  
Elise took this as something logical, and pulled Remus down the staircase to the basement lab.  
  
  
So what are you guys trying to _make_? he asked some time later, helping to concoct a very difficult healing potion that Elise couldn't produce due to lack of magic.  
  
It's an ongoing project... We're trying to find a cure.  
  
For werewolves?  
  
Yeah, or something that can diminish the side affects of transformations. We've made a lot of progress, and we do have a cure technically. Remus' eyes popped, and he had to remind himself to breath.   
  
But it's too dangerous, we can't even test it on humans yet. she said, and his hopes died instantly. We're doing our best, but there aren't a lot of resources. Not many people have bothered to try and find a cure, so we're in the dark really. she said with a sigh, pouring a few ingredients into one of the spare cauldrons. I doubt we'll ever succeed in making anything useful, but future generations could probably benefit from our study.  
  
Remus nodded, continuing to stir the potion as he had been for the past ten minutes. Being in the presence of werewolves was still a new experiance for him, but thus far, it was nice. Knowing someone was trying to help his kind rather than destroy it was a comforting thought.  
  
Want to try and help us? Hogwarts has a lot more books than we've been able to get a hand on... Most of them would be restricted but-  
  
Not a problem. Get me a list and I can get you the books... My friends are studying to become Animagi, we're very good at getting away with things.  
  
Elise asked, raising her eyebrows.  
  
So when I transform I won't try and bite them... I don't know if they'll accomplish anything beyond two seconds as a rat, but they're determined as hell and I wouldn't put it past them. he said with a smirk.  
  
You have some very loyal friends, if they'd go to such lengths for you.  
  
Nah, they want to be able to bite a few Slytherins in the ass as a dog I suppose. It isn't all for me, but the initial plan was in my favour, I've been told.  
  
You hang on to those friends of yours... People like that are worth the world to keep, especially to us.  
  
Again Remus felt the warm feeling of understanding. He knew they wouldn't replace James and Sirius, but someone to run to was always a plus. And someone who could tolerate his appetite was even better.  
  
  
  
In two days Caleb was back on his feet, though Elise tried to kepe him in the house. She did permit him to go hunting, and as soon as she gave in, he grabbed the crossbow and was out the door.  
  
What does he hunt?  
  
He has this thing for venison... His little place in Michigan is ridden with steamed, smoked, canned and frozen venison. You'd better like the stuff because we'll be eating it for a while. she warned with a smile.  
  
Good thing I'm leaving in a few days.  
  
Oh, that's right, you still have school. Elise pondered. I keep forgetting...  
  
I'm only fourteen.  
  
My God, I thought you were at least as old as I am! she laughed. I just turned sixteen! Remus raised an eyebrow, and shrugged it off.  
  
How old is Caleb?  
  
Turned eighteen last month, just a few days before he found you.  
  
Well, you're about my brother's age, a little younger-  
  
Is he cute?  
  
I've been told we look a lot alike, so judge yourself. And sorry, he's practically engaged.  
  
Ah, I'll live... Not happily though.  
  
Yeah, the socially deprived life of a werewolf.  
  
Hard to find anyone who can tolerate us, if they _aren't_ one of us. I hate to be so collective and all that, but I can't recall more than two couples where there's only one werewolf. she mused, digging out a deck of cards from a cabinet. Care to play poker?  
  
Strip, I hope? Remus asked with a smile, and was promptly hit with a pillow.  
  
And here I was praying you'd be the odd one of the male population. Silly of me to believe a guy could be a sane creature...  
  
You're setting your standards too high.  
  
  
  
  
On the train back to Hogwarts, Remus spent a long while looking over the list of books and potion instructions to try for Elise. He didn't notice Snape peering over his shoulder for quite some time.  
  
What do you want? he asked, startled to realize the boy had been there for a few minutes.  
  
What are you attempting to brew? Those are some very complex procedures...  
  
  
  
Right... You're a friend of Potter, you lot are always up to something. Snape said, rolling of his eyes. Alcanite? That can kill someone... What are you trying to do, knock off Bane and get away with it? I'll help if that's the case. he said with a smirk.  
  
It's nothing... Bye. Remus said shortly, going off to find Sirius and James. One of Elise's pages slipped away as he left, and Snape picked it up.  
  
What in hell is that idiot trying to do? he mused to himself.   
  
  
  
Look! Seriously, we can almost do it now! Well, Sirius can, but look! Peter squeaked excitedly, bouncing up and down on his toes. He pointed to where Sirius was in the corner of the compartment, huffing as if he had just gone in a race, clutching at his gut. Very slowly, he changed completely... Every human feature he had disappeared, and in place, black fur and enormous paws took over. It lasted only a second, but he had done it. Sirius Black had managed to change into a gigantic black dog.  
  
Holy God, that was... Amazing. Remus said in awe. James nodded, smiling dumbly, and Peter started rambling on about something. Despite how tired and beaten he looked, Sirius still managed a modest smile.  
  
I didn't think you guys were serious about it... Remus muttered a while later as James paid for a whole army load of candies off the cart.  
  
We should be able to do it in about a year, properly of course. Sirius said, glancing at Peter. That is, if that stupid git practices.  
  
Hey, I'm doing the best I can! he grumbled. Not my fault I'm horrible at Transfiguration...  
  
Peter, you're horrible at _everything_. Sirius laughed, patting him on the back. No worries, we'll get you to learn even if we have to force it in you.  
  
Peter shot a pleading glance at Remus, begging silently to be put out of his misery.  
  
  
He looked up, and found a _very_ red-faced Romolus standing at the doorway, shuffling his feet.  
  
C'you come here for a second? he asked, not meeting his gaze. Remus follwed with a shrug, and a few minutes later, had to try very hard not to burst out laughing.  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Another down! I'm estimating that this fic will get to 35+ chapters if I keep going, so expect more and more! And then there's always the sequel... What DID Remmie do during those thirteen years before PoA?? And after Hoggie for that fact? I might answer my own vesion... That is as long as I get REVIEWS.  
  
**Iggie  
  
Title meaning- Effluo: To vanish, be forgotten


	22. Paty XXII Innocence

A/n- Things start to normal out again, well, as normal as it gets with James and Sirius around!!  
  
Disclaimer- Why must I even BOTHER? It all belongs to You-Know-Who (no not _that_ one...)  
  
Rating- This one is PG-13... Surprise there, aye?  
  
Chapter Keywords- Quidditch! And all the other fun Marauder stuff as well... I threw in some Romolus as well.  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XXII - Innocence  
  
  
  
  
Rom, you have _got_ to be kidding! Remus laughed, clutching at his chest for air.  
  
Dammit Remus, this isn't funny...  
  
Oh to hell it isn't! he blurted out, face red with humour. Romolus' was a brilliant shade of its own, but for other reasons.  
  
Come on, this is serious...  
  
Sorry, but-honestly Rom-what... Are you thinking? You're sixteen for God's sake!  
  
Forget I said anything...  
  
  
  
  
Remus wasn't sure how the Gryffindor team had managed to snag a spot in the Quidditch Final without a proper Keeper, or any plays for that fact. But somehow they did, and two days after the break was over, Remus found himself back on his new broom high above the pitch.   
  
You up for the game? This is the Cup... We _have_ to win. James said quietly at lunch. Remus poked at his meal absently, breathing in slowly. He had woken up very sore and nauseous for whatever reason.  
  
I don't know if I can last very long, I feel really sick again. he admitted, pursing his lips.   
  
I'll just get a fast catch then. James said importantly, offering a smile.   
  
We can pick up the slack, don't worry. Either that or you''ll make some insane play and we'll blow them away. Sirius added. after a long meal and encouraging words from the only people who knew anything about him, Remus nodded his head and went back to get ready for the afternoon match.  
  
  
_  
  
_We're here for what promises to be a great match! the announcer said as the entire school cheered from the stands. The players rose as one into the air, Remus gripping his broom handle very tightly in anticipation. The minute the whistle blew, he swallowed, and took in a long breath.  
  
  
I've been sick lately, you all need to pick up for me. he had said right before the match in the locker rooms. I have a few new idea's, I'll call you out when we get the chance. I'm saving the time out.  
  
  
  
Surprise surpise everyone, the cunning Snakes are refusing to give any slack to our struggling Lions. he announced miserably, grumbling out the last bit. Thirty minutes into the match, Gryffindor was already down by seven goals.  
  
Remus, pick it up! Sirius yelled as he streaked by, only to be rammed by several Slytherins.  
  
  
  
And once _again_ the Lions are falling prey... This could be a long and nasty match folks.  
  
  
  
Look, I can't stop anything, I'm way out of practice and not in perfect health yet. Remus muttered to James as Slytherin argued with the referee, giving them a few brief minutes to plan. He ignored the sniggers, and went on.  
  
Sirius, I need you to keep tab on their Beaters. Alex, you focus on the Chaser, Morigan. he said as they nodded. If the Quaffle strays into my area, Sirius, drop what you're doing, and find a Bludger... I'll explain the rest in the air. he said hastily as the whistle blew. Ten minutes went by, in which Gryffindor dropped even further behind, until the plan was in progress.  
  
  
Sirius, hit the Quaffle! Remus shouted as it dropped from the air, victim of collision. He turned sharply in the air, bat raised, and bit his tongue down as the Bludger came spiraling towards him. With a mighty crack, he sent it directly opposite, his bat splintered down the middle from the force. The two balls collided enough for the center Gryffindor Chaser to get on course, and she promptly scored.  
  
Nice call Remus! Sirius said as Amanda Remmings did a few victory loops.  
  
  
  
Sirius caught on to Remus plan soon enough, and watched as he zoomed out of he Keepers normal area. A few of his teammates shot him quizzical looks as he went by, stopping about midfield. The crowed yelled as a Slytherin, armed with the Quaffle, raced towards the goal, and shot a long ball to avoid a defensive Chaser. Sirius held his cracked bat high again, and with perfected precision, knocked the Quaffle off-course and back towards the center point. Remus reached up, grabbed the shiny red ball, and to the amazement of many, managed to wedge it through the smallest hoop.  
  
He scored? James blinked, looking on in disbelief. Nonetheless, he joined in the cheering, and pat Remus on the back.  
  
  
With a very odd goal by the Gryffindor Keeper, the score is now 30-170. The Lions better catch that Snitch if they want a win!  
  
Come on James, that puts us in position! Alex yelled, hurling past a Bludger, bat raised. Their possible win was taken away minutes later as Slytherin scored a penalty shot, putting the Gryffindors in a very foul mood.  
  
What's our play Remus? the team asked as a Slytherin time-out was made for a dismounting.  
  
Kick some ass.  
  
Sounds good. they all agreed, smiling as one entity.  
  
  
The hell is this-sorry Professor-what are the Lion's doing? the announcer asked in disbelief. The Beaters had abandoned all tactics, and were flying in the most illogical and random patterns, smashing into anyone who didn't dive out of their paths. James wasn't even attempting to find the Snitch, and spent the majority of the next ten minutes speeding up to someone and pulling away sharply. The distraction worked, and soon enough, Gryffindor managed to pull into a game-ending position.  
  
James, behind you! Remus yelled, pointing wildly. The Slytherin Seeker was way in advance... With a steady swing, Sirius and Alex sent the Bludger diving at double-speed, and railed the opposition out of the way just in time for James to grab on to the tiny golden orb.  
  
GRYFFINDOR TAKES THE CUP!  
  
  
The whole team was on the ground tackling each other excitedly, yelling out with the ecstatic crowd. They spilled out onto the pitch, and for a long moment, the whole Gryffindor house was in a euphoric bliss, carrying their triumphant team back to the tower for a week long celebration.  
  
See Rem, things are getting better! Romolus said in a slur, not even caring that the punch had been spiked long ago.  
  
After all the hell we've been through, I guess we're finally getting our compensation.  
  
Damn right little brother! And this time it'll last!  
  
I really hope you're right...  
  
Hesh Moony... Try d'pun... Sirius said droggily, swaying about.  
  
You do realize that punch is actually a very potent a Bloody Dragon, don't you?  
  
  
  
Never mind...  
  
  
By April the commotion had died down, Remus was finally healthy, and things began to resort back to the norm again. The Marauders were now setting a school record for setting the most collective detentions with all their pranks, and Remus was proud to admit he was a lot of the cause. All of his course work became harder, as everyone constantly complained about the O.W.L. preps, but he didn't mind. Now, truly, his life was beginning to make perfect sense, or as much sense as it could with James and Sirius around, and the bullet-prone Caleb dropping him humorous notes every now and then.  
  
  
  
Hey, when _is _ your birthday? James asked one morning, watching as a bunch of Hufflepuff's conjured a cake for their friend.  
  
Three days. he said, not paying attention. Sirius and James scoffed at him, and hit him upside the head.  
  
And you didn't tell us? Stupid git, how are we supposed to get you presents in time?  
  
I don't like birthdays. Nothing to celebrate in my opinion... He let out a groan as James smiled his plotting smile, and Sirius, using his mischief telepathy, duplicated the look.  
  
Guys, please... Whatever it is, please don't.  
  
  
  
The day before his birthday, Elise and Caleb sent him a very long letter by way of one very angry little owl.  
  
_Happy birthday Lupin, and all that... You can stay up here this summer if you'd like, I doubt we'll be there very often. America and South America are ridden with werewolves and the western States just kill them outright. We've got a lot of people to help out so we'll be really busy. How's that potion stuff coming along? If you can get us a book... It's a handwritten piece by a man simply named Cor, and it should be at the very end of the Restricted Potions shelf. We _really_ need it, it could have a coded cure in it, we're not sure. It's the only one in existence so we can't check elsewhere. Thanks, and Elise needs to ramble for a while. Adios.  
  
Remus, that book, the journal from Cor, it might say why you got sick. He was a werewolf, and he's about the only one who ever bothered to learn anything about the Curse itself. I don't know if I should even bother, but read the thing through a couple times, alright? And happy birthday! Your brother told me.   
  
:)  
  
  
_Romolus, why are you talking to Elise? he asked as the owl stole half of his breakfast unnoticed.  
  
Oh, that girl you were staying with? James and Sirius started to snicker horribly, and turned away from Remus entirely.  
  
Found one of your letters, decided to write her. Not a problem I hope? he asked with a wicked smile.  
  
You don't have to check up on me for God's sake.  
  
Oh, and like you don't delve into me and Shelly's lives.  
  
Point taken...  
  
  
  
James, come on! Let-Me-Go! Remus yelled, trying to pull away from the crowd packed into The Three Broomsticks. Latching onto an arm apiece, James and Sirius aisle-walked him back inside, and Peter clamped a cone hat on his head.  
  
Guys, please...  
  
Today's your birthday, we're legally obliged to torment you. It's a rule. Sirius said as a bunch of the Gryffindors started hooting for him, and someone produced a _very_ large cake.  
  
Does that satisfy that canine appetite of yours? James asked quietly, smiling as Sirius lit the candles. Knowing better than to lean in and blow them out, Remus ducked, and covered his head just in time for the cake to explode. The whole pub erupted in laughter, covered in delicious frosting and mutli-coloured cake. Remus picked a clump off his robes, and stuffed it in his mouth.  
  
I'sh goo. he said with an approving nod, pelting Sirius with a piece, who was the only one clean. A massive cake-fight was soon underway, and Madam Rosmerta didn't even bother to scold the mess. She laughed along with everyone, and joined in the allied war. No one left the pub that day without being covered in more cake than not.  
  
  
  
So what are we looking for again? James asked from under the cloak.  
  
A handwritten journal by a man named Cor... It should be at the end of one of the shelf's. Remus muttered pulling out many dusty books carefully. They had a habit of setting off charms and alerting the caretaker or his nasty little cat.  
  
This it? James asked, pulling down a filthy and almost molded leather-bound collection of parchment. Remus smiled wickedly, and blew on it. There was no title, but the inside confirmed that it was the correct book.  
  
'Property of Cor.' he read, and nodded his head. He turned to go, but James didn't follow.  
  
Hold on, I need something else on Animagism, and I might as well get it while we're here. he muttered, digging through a shelf a few steps over. Finding three large books of his own, the two raced back to the Common Room at lighting speed.  
  
  
_Monday, June fifteenth, nineteen three,  
  
After seven and a half years of constantly living on the verge of death, I believe I have discovered the catalyst of my condition. Several of my colleagues have claimed they have experienced some illness after the moon on occasion, so it can be concluded that it is a common ailment of lycanthropy.  
  
  
_Remus had kept himself awake for two days straight, absorbed in the journal of the werwolf. When he had been sick, he had learned to cope with little sleep, and now it was proving most useful. Knowing little about the curse that plagued his life and caused all his problems, the journal had been fodder for his eager mind.  
  
  
_Thursday, July first, nineteen three,  
  
As we had thought, the illness is repetitive. I am not sure why I am constantly falling ill, or how I am surviving, but it proves most useful for our research. My council discovered it primarily attacks the central nervous system, devouring all off the vital nerve lines. We cannot be sure, but our experimenting will continue as long as life stays with me.  
  
  
_Hey Remus, come on! We're going out to test! Peter called from the Common Room. Tucking the rotten journal under his pillow, Remus grabbed his cloak and followed the Marauders out to their special clearing in the Forbidden Forest. He watched Sirius change again to the great black dog, and for a long moment, he was able to stay. After letting out a bark that Remus understood as , he changed back into the normal Sirius.  
  
God, you're so much better than us. Peter said in slight dismay, kicking at the ground.  
  
Don't worry Pete, we'll help you. James pat him on the back, and smiled.   
  
So Jamsie, when are ya going to let us see what you're form is? Sirius asked after another quick transformation.  
  
  
  
Well no crap, but come on, I _know_ you can change.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_Wednesday, August first, nineteen three,  
  
Things are not going well. My illness is progressing at an alarming rate and I have lost my sight altogether. As long as there are tests to be done I shall try and stay alive. Mayana discovered a partial cure for it, though I will reject all treatment until we understand this problem. One cannot solve a problem until he truly understands it, I believe. Our council is very close to finding an actual prevention for the disease, though we don not have the time to test it on our youngest member, who has yet to fall ill on the wane. We will know in due time.  
  
_Remus, get your nose out of that nasty book and shoo this owl off! Romolus yelled from down the table, swatting at a circling tawny. He snatched the parcel from it's talons, and bribed it some bacon to go away.  
  
_Remus,  
  
Went hunting again and Elise is making me get rid of all my venison, so I sent you some jerky. Consider it a very appetizing birthday present of sorts. If you want any more, just ask, I have more than even I can eat in time... I might not be able to write for a while, work's hell now that I have an actual job. What a shame, I resorted to working in a Muggle restaurant... Anyway, happy belated birthday and all that, and enjoy the chow.  
  
Caleb  
_  
You gonna eat that? Sirius asked with a glint in his eyes, looking intently at the sealed tube of fresh jerky. Remus offered one, and soon enough, half of his canister was empty.  
  
This stuff ish aweshome! Sirius said thickly. What ish it?  
  
Remus said as he nibble don his own, nodding his head approvingly.  
  
Wush venshon?  
  
  
  
Sirius spit out the meat, and gobbled down a glass or two of juice.  
  
Sick! I just ate Bambi... I think I'm gonna be sick...  
  
  
  
  
As June came around, Remus had a few surprises in store for him. One he was unaware of for many years, though the other was a shock. Mentally he told himself he should have been expecting it, but nonetheless, Romolus' words had nearly knocked him out of his seat. Very quietly Romolus had pulled him aside during a Hogsmeade weekend, and pulled a little box out of his pocket.  
  
What's that for?  
  
I'm... Er, gonna... Gonna ask Shell to, er, marry me.  
  
He blinked, and looked down at the little emerald and diamond ring that probably cost more than anything the Lupin brothers had owned in their lives. Looking back up, he raised his eyebrows, and wondered briefly if it was a joke. But the nervous and expectant demeanor on Romolus' face was an expression that could not be feigned.  
  
You're serious, aren't you? he asked quietly, looking down at his feet.  
  
If you say it's alright, I'm going to ask her.  
  
Why would my input matter? he blurted out, thoroughly convinced his brother was barking mad. But after a moments though, he knew the answer. Romolus would be gone from his life if they married, and neither of them were quite ready to let go. He wanted to yell, to scold his brother for even considering abandoning him, but something stopped him. Without even realizing it, he said there was no problem. No problem? Of course there was a problem... He just wasn't ready to acknowladge it. He should have prepared for this, when Romolus hinted eariler, but his mind had refused to accept any chnage.  
  
You sure? Romolus asked hesitantly, biting his lip. Cause if you don't want me too, I can wait...  
  
No, it's fine. Remus lied, and forced a smile.  
  
  
_Don't worry Remus, we'll see each other on the holidays. Romolus said as he shoved Remus off the Hogwarts Express.  
  
But... I'll miss you. It'll be horrible if you en't around. he muttered quietly, not looking up from the ground.  
  
I'll always be there for you, alright? his brother said sternly, hand on Remus' shoulder. He tipped his chin up, and smiled. Even if we're a continent apart, I'll be there right beside you. Promise.  
  
Alright... But I'll still miss you.  
  
Don't waste your thoughts little brother, keep them all. You have to be tough now, and smart. he said, still smiling in a warm way. For years that smile had kept Remus together...  
  
  
  
And remember, I'll be right there. Right beside you.  
  
The train issued a long screeching whistle, and in a few moments, Remus made a sad conclusion. No matter how hard he tried, he still missed Romolus, and he wasn't always by his side.  
  
  
_Positive it's alright?  
  
Remus concluded, and scuffed his brothers hair. Mum would kill you if she knew.  
  
I doubt she's in any condition to kill me., seeing as she's dead and all.. And I'm sure Mrs. Hellen will have her fair share of verbal lashings.  
  
  
  
Throwing away all his worries for the time being, Remus walked back to The Three Broomsticks with his brother. He laughed and smiled along with his friends, and in doing such he went back to living a lie, concealed behind a facade of carelessness.  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Hope you liked Part 22! More is on the way, I promise! And this isn't a Lupin promise either. :)  
  
  
**Iggie


	23. Part XXIII Craters

A/n- Well, here comes another summer...  
  
Disclaimer- Yuppers. I'm very sick fo these, but those evil lawyers are out to get us fandom citizens... I own nothing and I am making NO money off of this whatsoever.  
  
Rating- PG-13 I think, I'm not sure if I swore in this or not...  
  
  
Chapter Keywords- Return of the Werewolf Duo... And Remmie gets a bit of a challange. o_O  
  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XXIII - Craters  
  
  
  
Who're you?  
  
Remus set his bag down at the door, and raised his eyebrows quizzically. There was a very tall boy, who looked a bit older than Caleb, holding a crossbow to his face the moment he stepped into the cabin.  
  
Remus Lupin...  
  
Oh, you're that guy Caleb warned me about... Sorry. he said, lowering the bow and going back to watching TV. Grabbing a glass of water, Remus sat down next to the boy quietly.  
  
I'm Sanford. he said after a long, tense silence.  
  
One of Caleb's rescues?  
  
Yeah... You?  
  
he muttered, getting nowhere in the limited conversation.  
  
  
  
When'd you get bit?  
  
Remus said a while later at dinner, having cooked up a large slab of venison from the freezer.  
  
I was five, I think. I don't even remember life before the bite. That was the longest conversation the pair had in the next couple of days. A few mornings later, Aaron Sanford left without a trace, leaving only bare steak bones as mark of his existence.  
  
  
Remus! Hey! Elise squealed, rushing inside and strangling him in a hug for no apparent reason, much in the manner of Lily. Caleb came in a minute later, pulling the remains of deer for dinner. he said simply, and went out back to prepare his kill.  
  
  
So how'd school finish off?  
  
Alright I guess, compared to what I'm used to... he said over a game of chess. My friends are almost done with Animagism, my brother's engaged, and I've gone two years without the whole school knowing what I am.  
  
Formidable task... I'm impressed. We have trouble staying in a small town for a month without letting it slip by. Kind of inevitable in our field of work though. she said with a shrug. Remus stood up very quickly, and Summoned the journal from his bag. He handed it to Elise with a large smile, and she gapped, open mouth.  
  
I told you, the Marauders can get anything.  
  
This... This is priceless. Come on! she said with wide eyes, grabbing him by the wrist. They abandoned their chess match, and busied themselves down in the basment laboratory. For three days they stayed down there, both extremely overactive and determined to untangle the age-old problem of werewolfism.  
  
  
Oi, are you guys snogging down there or what? Caleb asked late at night, jumping the staircase and offering a tray of steaks.  
  
Here, stir counterclockwise for a few minutes, I can't feel my arm anymore. Elise mumbled, rubbing her tired eyes and falling against the wall next to a snoring Remus. She plucked the journal from his lap, and brushed a bit of dust off the next page.  
  
God, we have to leave soon and there's so much to do...  
  
Lupin can handle it.  
  
We can't just dump the future of our kind on him Caleb, he's already going through his own hell. If you haven't noticed by now he's really depressed. Elise said, stifling a long yawn. She smiled at the sleeping boy, and flipped a few pages.  
  
The plight of the werewolf is not an experience anyone understands. Even those of my kind, they cannot comprehend the individual torment I face every day. It has taken all my strength to open my eyes each morning and stumble out of bed. When I was a child, there was no strength. I simply wanted to cease, to be no more. Even now, in my old age, I find it hard to arise each morning with the sun.' she read, handing over the journal. Caleb stopped stirring, and looked down on his weary rescue project.  
  
By the end of the summer he'll have aged ten years. he mused.  
  
He's already far older than his friends, despite any biological reasoning... What's to become of us Caleb? Why do we have to endure such torture, on our own? There's thousands out there who don't have us to help. Remus is one of the lucky ones...  
  
We were never the lucky ones. he said, sitting down as well and charming the spoon to stir for him for a few short minutes. I never took the time to sit back and remember life before all of this. Before I started my little project... God, it's been so long. I've been doing this since I was his age El, for almost five years now. he realized. Resting his head back against the wall, he closed his eyes, and ran a hand through his messy hair.  
  
You need a break.  
  
I can't take a break at the expense of lives El, you know I couldn't. Right now, just sitting here like this, probably five are going to die because of it. It makes me sick. he mumbled. Old man Cor was right... I'm tired of having to wake up every morning and walk around, living a lie.  
  
You're miserable too... she said, resting on his shoulder. We're all miserable. Everyone of us...  
  
It comes with the curse. No matter who you are, the minute you get the bite, your life's over.  
  
We can change it Caleb, we can fix all that. Remus, and you and me, everyone. If we change things now, if we can find a cure... Maybe someday no one will have to know our pain.  
  
It could be hundreds of years, far beyond our life span. And after we do die, maybe no one will care again. Caleb said quietly.  
  
We have to try, we owe it to everyone to be different. It only takes one person to change a world... You've been that one person, for me, Remus, everyone.  
  
No, I haven't done anything. The kid, Lupin, he's gonna be the one to change it all. I don't need my precog to See that... Him and those friends of his, they're going to set the world back in it's proper place. he said with a dreamy smile. Elise let out a sigh of the night, and clung to his arm.  
  
Tomorrow's the full moon. she said, voice barely above a whisper.  
  
Tonight technically... Should we move him up to a bed?  
  
Let's stay like this... I like having you two around.  
  
We all like having someone who understands around. It's a shame the world doesn't understand.  
  
They will, someday.  
  
  
  
Remus awoke the next morning to his two new friends sleeping silently on him. With a smile, he slipped out from under their weight, and busied himself with the experimental potions. Finding the already splattered journal nearby, he took a seat, and flipped to a random page.  
  
_This illness will not pass me. I fear I will die a slow death if we do not find a cure. But, then again, aren't we all dieing slowly as it is? Our kind, they all slowly degrade until they are nothing more than the primal form they take once a month all together.  
  
Maybe this plague is a gift.  
_  
  
  
Hey, want to come hunting with me? There's a few old stags out in a meadow nearby, this place is overrun with them... I've got an extra bow. Caleb offered once they had all risen and showered. Not even bothering to look up from Cor's journal, Remus muttered a bleak no' and continued to read.  
  
Come on Lupin, you're going to drive yourself insane if you keep reading that morbid little book.  
  
He's right... Go out and have some fun. Caleb's hilarious when he hunts, because he's actually very bad at it. Elise tried, laughing as she was thwarted on the head with a couch pillow.  
  
You wont be saying that when I bring dinner home! he yelled, laughing himself. Remus didn't move at all, and went on reading for quite some time after Caleb had left. Finally, around noon, Elise snatched the journal from him, and stared him down.  
  
Come on, we have to go do something. she said, leaning down in front of him, arms on the table. You've been sitting there like a little worm.  
  
  
  
Come on... Where do your friends live? she asked. That James boy you were talking about, or any of them. Go over and... I don't know. Do what you usually do with them.  
  
I'm not going to show up at a house if I haven't been invited. It's rude.  
  
Oh come off it, you need to learn to live a little. she said playfully, dragging him to his feet. If you wont go to their house, why not invite them here?  
  
I like being alone... It's very quiet, and I can get work done.  
  
We all like solitude, it comes with the curse... But _you're_ depressed.  
  
I am not depressed. he mumbled.  
  
Liar. So come on, either go somewhere or I'm gonna drag you out to town for a few hours.  
  
It's the full moon tonight, so-  
  
Oh for the love of God Lupin, you can't let one little, well... You can't let it control your life! Elise rolled her eyes at herself, and pulled Remus out the door.  
  
We're going out whether you want to or not. You need to get away from life...  
  
  
  
Remus walked back to the cabin a while later, frowning deeply in a solemn manner. He had tried to have fun, laughed along with Caleb and Elise, but it was all in vain. His mind was not to be distracted from his worries, preventing him from truly enjoying himself. Hiding behind a facade for years did nothing to blind his friends though, and they had brought him home after a long car ride, and a serious discussion on the potions. Distracting himself with an important task seemed to be the only thing that kept him going, and in talking about it, he let a little bit of his worries drift away.  
  
After they had parked the rusty pickup truck in a shed behind the cabin, the two laughing werewolves stumbled into the room, hanging on to each other.  
  
What's so funny?  
  
It's been so _obvious_! Right under our noses the entire time! Elise laughed, sitting herself down on the couch.  
  
I can't believe neither of us saw it before! It's just ridiculous how simple the whole thing is...  
  
You're a genius Remus, I swear!  
  
Whoa, slow down... First off, what the hell are you two talking about? he asked, starting up the Muggle Mr. Coffee machine.  
  
Look, we're putting a complete cure on hold until we can understand the basis of Cor's studies. But what you were just talking about... In the presence of animals, we have more of a human mind and are less prone to injure anyone. Your friend's and Animagism-  
  
The principal of keeping a human mind while transformed. Elise interrupted.  
  
Caleb confirmed, biting his lip like an excited child who couldn't find a way to word his eagerness. The potion, I think I know a way it could be brewed...  
  
Remus' eyes went black, and he froze. This... This was a major leap in _everything_. Werewolves wouldn't even be a threat to society, or themselves, if it were possible...  
  
How? When and-  
  
There's a bad part though. Elise said, starting to loose the humour of her stupidity. We don't have at least half of the ingredients I think would have the right affect, and... Well, no, we can't be sure yet. she said, shaking her head. Come one Caleb, let's go get some work done-  
  
What about me?' Remus asked quietly, hanging his head down.  
  
Alright, both of you... Let's get this written down before we forget any of it.  
  
Full moon, it'll have to wait.  
  
  
  
Remus, go take a break... You're about to fall asleep in the Amphritrite goop. Caleb yawned, eyes barely staying open. The morning after, as soon as the sun had risen, the three had emerged from the locked rooms and set to work. It was at least a day and a half later, and all attempts thus far had exploded or resulted in a product far from what they predicted.  
  
Caleb yelled, slamming his fist down as another batch exploded in his face. This is so goddamn annoying.  
  
Well you can't expect to do it in a day.  
  
Yeah, this is probably going to take years to complete... Remus said thoughtfully, eyes fighting to shut.  
  
We've suffered long enough. Caleb mumbled. We shouldn't have to wait any longer... I'm just tired of it all. The Ministry could find a way to destroy every one of us by the time we find a cure.  
  
Well until then, we have to try... Remus said in a daze, leaning forward slightly. With a smile, Elise put a hand on his chest, right as he fell asleep standing up.  
  
Help me take him up stairs...  
  
Won't make it. Just sleep here...  
  
  
  
  
  
Remus awoke a few hours later to the insistent nipping of James snappy owl, Preilla. She bit him on the nose again, hooted angrily, and perched on the edge of an empty cauldron while Remus read his letter.  
  
_Remus,  
  
As soon as Peter can stick his transformation, we'll be full-fledged illegal Animagi. Care to come over for a bit of a celebration? You still haven't seen my house yet... You're welcome to stay for the next moon, if you like. Well anyway, Sirius is here and we're still alive, so write back as soon as you get this. I had to bribe Pre to even go out for the trip, she was in a foul mood. Surprise surprise... Well, I have to go, Sir's about to blow up what's left of my best room. Seeya later.  
  
James  
  
  
_Remus bit his lip, and tapped a pencil against his knee thoughtfully. Preilla hooted shrilly at him to hurry along with the reply, and started Caleb awake.  
  
he blinked, looking around for a moment. What's goin' on?  
  
James wants me to come stay with him, for the next moon... They mastered Animagism. he said in disbelief, shaking his aching head with a small smile.  
  
Well what the hell are you waiting for you stupid git? Go pack your stuff! Caleb laughed, ruffing his hair and hitting him on the head.  
  
But, what about-  
  
Look, you're not going to change the world in one day, alright? Go off, live your life.... Fine. Be tough about it. Caleb said, hiding his smile as Remus wrote a declining note and made to hand it to the owl. He snatched it away, scribbled a Be there soon', and threw the boy over his shoulders.  
  
Let me go! Come on Caleb, this isn't... Funny. Ouch! he yelled, hitting his head against the wall as the older boy carried him up the stairs, laughing all the while.  
  
Caleb, let me go! We have to work!  
  
Lupin, for once, I don't car to hear your opinion. Caleb said with a smirk, magically binding him to a chair while he searched around for the satchel Remus was seldom seen without. With a satisfied nod, he picked Remus up again, slumped him over shoulder, and Apparated out of the area.  
  
  
After an hour of searching for the secluded resort, Caleb finally dragged Remus up to the wide, magnificent doors of the Potter Estate. A cheerful looking butler answered, raised his eyebrows, and inquired upon Who the hell are you?.  
  
This is Remus Lupin, I'm, er, just here. he said shortly, looking inside. Remus let out a pathetic sort of mumble, and shut his eyes.  
  
Er, Master James? There's someone here to see you... I think! the man called, yelling up a spiral staircase. James appeared a minuet later, and slid down the curved rail with a grin.  
  
Who're you? he asked, blinking. And what've you got? he added upon seeing Remus' dangling feet. Caleb finally set his hostage down, pat him on the back, and placed a hand on his head.  
  
I'm Caleb, and I would sure as hell hope you know Remus.  
  
Ah, you're that loony guy he lives with, aye? James smiled, holding out his hand. James Potter.  
  
Nice to meet you... I have to get going, I've got a girl back in the basement and a few potions probably near exploding. Terribly sorry. And with that said, the very spontaneous and illogical Caleb Simmers disappeared from sight, and Remus was hustled inside.  
  
Very odd fellow.  
  
You don't know the half of it...  
  
Come on, Sirius made a new kind of Dungbomb we want to test...  
  
  
  
Late at night, Remus lay awake on the floor of James' large bedroom, staring up at the black ceiling. For a few hours he had been unable to sleep, thinking about the potions and all the good things that could come of them. But the other half was thinking of Romolus, and how he wouldn't see him anymore.  
  
Deep down, he felt guilty for ruining his brothers life. And now he wouldn't be able to ruin Romolus' life...  
  
Wonder if he even asked her yet. he mused aloud. Knowing him it's unlikely...  
  
_Rom,  
  
So how'd Shelly take it? I swear, if you didn't ask her... And you're a Gryffindor for God's sake! Well, I'm staying at James' house for a while, probably a few weeks, write if you need anything. And I swear to God, if you didn't ask her... I have to go, I think it's four in the morn. See you later, I hope.  
  
Rem  
  
  
  
  
  
_Elise! Hey, where are you, I think I found... he trailed off, and looked around the cabin with a frown. Elise? Elise! he yeled, cupping his hands. With no response, he peered outside, but the pickup was still parked.  
  
Probably working. he mumbled, taking the basment steps in three's.  
  
El... Elise! he blurted out, eyes widening. He rushed to where she lay on the ground, and put an arm under her limp head.  
  
Elise! Come on, wake up!  
  
  
  
  
Remus! Rem, come on, get-  
  
  
  
His eyes snapped open, and he was about to grab for his wand and curse whatever moved before James put a hand on his chest.   
  
Calm down for the love of God. he muttered, Sirius snoring in the background. You're screaming like a banshee... Nightmare or something?  
  
Yeah... Bad dream...  
  
The lights went out, and Remus was left to stare at the ceiling, breathing erratically. For a long moment, he considered writing his friends at his new home, but shook his head in the end.  
  
Just a dream.  
  
Assured he was being a stupid git, he fell back asleep in the luxury of the guest bed.  
  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Sorry this one took so long, I've been waiting for ffnet to start working properly... Grrrrr... Well, the next one should be coming soon. Thanks for all the reviews!!  
  
**Iggie


	24. Part XXIV Bittersweet

A/n- Wow, two dozen chapters... I really had no idea this was going to get so long. o_0  
  
Disclaimer- All you pesky lawyers can big off, as nothing belongs to me.   
  
Rating- PG-13 as I'm going to swear, most likely...  
  
Chapter Keywords- Animagism, Romolus and Shelly, various skits involving whatever I feel like adding in. (XP) .  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XXIV - Bittersweet   
  
  
  
  
Get on with it already, we've been waiting three years for the love of God. Sirius snapped, watching James take in a deep breath as he crouched down on all fours. The four (Peter had arrived early in the morning) were in the middle of James' private half-sized Quidditch pitch, surrounded by a protective fence of trees.  
  
Alright... Here goes nothing.  
  
It was very different from watching Sirius transform. Sirius had been very quick and ungraceful in his change, while James was everything but. In a few short moments, the entire of James' appearance had been replaced by that of a beautiful white deer.  
  
Sirius blinked, gapping at the sight. Way to go James!  
  
Remus nodded dumbly, face stuck in a goofy smile, eyes locked upon the creature. He wasn't very large at all for a deer, judging by the ones Caleb brought home, but he was... Magnificent.  
  
I can't believe you guys really did this... he muttered after a moment.  
  
Have a little faith in us. We _are_ the Marauders. Sirius said with a smirk, shoving Peter forward.  
  
Alright, you next.  
  
Do I have to? he mumbled, biting his lip to the point of bleeding. Peter kept his eyes locked down on his feet, hands pulling at his shirt nervously.  
  
Don't be a git. Just go. James said a moment later, turning back into himself in a very quick movement. He brushed a bit of grass off himself, and smiled.   
  
We're not going to laugh or anything. Besides, I've seen it before.  
  
They'll laugh at me...  
  
I won't laugh. Remus said brightly, shrugging. Sirius shoved Peter forward again, and the three formed a little semicircle around him.  
  
Come on, just do it.  
  
he groaned, pursing his lips as he kneeled down. Peter was horrible at it, Remus noted, as it took him the better part of five minutes just to stay transformed. He kept flickering between his two forms, and when he finally did manage, he had to fight down a burst of laughter.  
  
Sirius, on the other hand, showed no such restraint.  
  
Oh my Lord, he's a RAT! Of all things.... he cackled, rolling on the ground. James rolled his eyes, and kicked Sirius in the gut.  
  
Shut the hell up, alright? he snapped, showing a side he rarely did. On the ground, Peter the Rat crinkled his nose, and ran up to James.  
  
Don't mind him, he isn't worth the bother. James assured, picking him up.   
  
At least you'll be useful, a lot more than me or Sirius. he added.  
  
How... So? Sirius asked between fits of laughter.  
  
He's small, and can hide in very little places. We can't exactly wander Hogwarts, we're far too large. Peter could fit in spaces we'd never be able to reach.  
  
The little brown and stubby rat perked up, and twitched his whiskers importantly. Remus nodded his head, smiling in amusement. The way he was flicking his bare tail reminded him of a worm...  
  
he mused to himself.  
  
  
  
Wormtail... Look, his tail, it looks exactly like a chubby little night crawler. Remus pointed out.  
  
Hey, that'd work as a nickname. Wormtail. Sirius sid after a moment, as his entertainment died down. Ha... Yeah, that fits. And you're Moony, you know.  
  
What about me, and you? James asked, chuckling as Peter tried to show his disapproval. He slid down James leg and tumbled across the patch of grass, trying to change back to his human self to no avail. Squeaking furiously, he tried his hardest to tell them he hated the name.  
  
How about Prongs? Remus suggested, and James grinned.  
  
Moony, Wormtail and Prongs. he said to himself, testing the sound of it. Sirius needs a name too.  
  
We'll think of something.  
  
Remus smiled, and plucked the squeaking rat from the ground, dangling him by the tail.  
  
I think he's stuck.  
  
This could be fun... Sirius said to himself, grinning ear to ear.  
  
  
  
_Moony,  
  
Would you want to come stay up here for a bit? Shelly's family is having a small get together, and they keep asking if you're coming or not. So make it up, alright? This Saturday, we can arrange the Floo if you need transport. Write me back ASAP so we can be sure to buy double food.   
  
Have fun,  
  
Rom  
  
  
  
_Rom, what, pre tell, is this? Remus asked with a smirk, producing the little black box. His brother dropped a basket of laundry he was going to go do, and turned around slowly.  
  
Uh, nothing? he tried with a guilty smile.  
  
You didn't ask her yet? Remus blurted out, slightly amazed. Romolus shut the door, bit his lip, and shrugged.  
  
You are a complete and utter _wuss_. Remus concluded, looking at the little ring, shaking his head. I mean, you're a Gryffindor for God's sake, and you know she's going to say yes. So what the hell's the hold up?  
  
  
  
You can't be serious... Rom, she isn't going to refuse.  
  
What if she does? he asked quietly, looking away sharply. Rolling his eyes, Remus thrust the little velvet box in his brothers hand, and pulled him down the stairs.  
  
You should know by now you aren't going to get away from me. he mused aloud, dragging him into the living room.  
  
Oh, I thought you were cleaning up... Shelly said with an odd look. Remus frowned, and put a hand on his brothers shoulder, shoving him into a kneeling position. With a smirk, he pinched him on the back of the neck, and took a step back. Shelly raised an eyebrow, and tried to word a sentence together.  
  
What... I....  
  
Romolus looked back, and received a sharp glare from his brother. Taking in a long breath, he uncurled his hand, and popped the little box open.  
  
Er... Shell, will you... Er... Will you... God this is impossible... Um, do you want... Uh... Marry me?  
  
She leapt forward, and devoured him in a massive hug. Grandpa Hellen, who had been sitting on his recliner watching television the whole time, started hooting and clapping excitedly, while Remus burst out laughing. Shelly's parents wandered their way in, wondering what the commotion was all about.  
  
Ah Shelly, good for you! Mr. Hellen said, grinning maniacally at Romolus. Mrs. Hellen bit her lip, eyes going very leaky.  
  
Sarah, don't get all emotional... Besides, you should have known for ages.  
  
Dad, be quiet. she snapped, and then went right back to crying. My little girl...  
  
  
  
Remus stood off at a distance, not wanting to ruin the moment. With an almost sad sort of sigh, he leaned against the door frame, and slipped back to the guest room.  
  
  
Romolus didn't come up for quite some time, and when he did, he was frowning deeply.  
  
I'll never understand you. Remus said, rolling his eyes. You get pissed because you dont have the guts to propose, and then you do, and now you're still pissed.  
  
What about you? he said in a small voice after a long pause.  
  
Oh, nuts to me. This is your life, and your engagement. So when are you two going to marry anyway? Remus asked with a smile, changing the subject. Romolus, slightly nervous from the days events, started to fold clothes and obsessively organize a desk of pictures.  
  
Probably in August, maybe on the fifth. It's her birthday then. he mumbled.  
  
Remus said offhand.  
  
  
  
Have the wedding on the twelth.  
  
Might I ask why?  
  
Just... Trust me. he said. Shaking his head to himself, he wondered why he had even said that.  
  
Alright... Well, anyway... Thanks. he said. For making me go down there. By the time I would have done it myself Shelly would have married someone else.  
  
Very true. And no problem, really. Besides, I can't go letting you disgrace the Lupin name.  
  
Oh, and as if you haven't already? I hear you've set a detention record, and you're only two years in. Street word says you and those friends of yours are the biggest problem to hit Hogwarts in all its days.  
  
And proud of it. Remus said with a grin.  
  
Good, you haven't changed a bit.  
  
  
  
Guys, I really don't think this is a good idea. Remus muttered. The four of the were camping out in a tent, a Muggle one, in the middle of James' property. He looked up to the dying sun, and bit his lip. It might not work.  
  
Have a little faith in us. James said with a sigh, having heard the complaints for the past few hours. Look, if it'll make you feel better, we'll leave, and come back.  
  
That'd be worse. I could escape and... He closed his eyes, and shivered.  
  
I'll stay. Sirius said suddenly, turning his lantern on. As the dog, so when he transforms, we could communicate. I mean, dogs and wolves can speak, right? It's worth a shot. And anyway, I'm big enough to keep him in line so he can't get away.  
  
My God, you actually produced an intelligent idea. Peter joked, James chuckling a moment later.  
  
That okay with you? Remus nodded, and let out a small sigh.  
  
It's too late for me to head back to the cabin anyway. You should get going, the moon's going to come up really soon...  
  
Sirius laid back on the grass, having thought Remus would tear the tent up when he went wolf. For a while they stayed in silence, gazing up at the colourful sky. Finally, Remus muttered that the moon would be out soon, and he should transform.  
  
I still can't believe you actually did it. he said, and Sirius' black ears perked forward, his eyes questioning.  
  
I can talk to you, don't freak out... I'm a werewolf, I know the language of my own once-a-month species. he said, and the dog relaxed a little.  
  
_Can..._  
  
Remus chuckled at the unpracticed bark, and smiled.  
  
Yes, I can hear you. he said slowly, and Sirius the Dog wagged his tail.  
  
See, you'll catch on. Most of the canine language is body movements anyway, you'll figure it out.  
  
_Could be useful, us talking.  
  
_How so? he asked, and Sirius rolled over on his back playfully.  
  
_The rest of us, can talk. Part of the... Spell._ Sirius tried, trying to figure out how to speak in his new form. Again, he flipped his tail back and forth, proud with his accomplishments. _This way I can pass words to them. From you.  
  
_Oh, I get it. You three will be able to use a form of telepathy? Sirius let out a conclusive bark, and bobbed his head in a nod. So you can translate for me... That is, if I'm human at all. he muttered, and shut his eyes. Sirius scooted up next to him, resting his head across his thigh supportively, tail going a mile a minute.  
  
I blank out when I transform, I can barely remember anything I do at night. While I'm like that, I have no control over myself. If... If I attack you, please don't take it offensively.  
  
_Won't. I tell them too.  
  
_Thank you... he said weakly, throat tightening. Sirius lifted his head up, took a few steps backwards, tail between his legs.  
  
_Happen?  
  
_Please... Please go away! Remus managed to yell out, loosing control of himself. The clouds above started to blow away, letting faded rays of the moon fall down across the manner fields. Go! Don't... Watch.  
  
The dog barked once, and paced forward apprehensively. Remus was on all fours, crouched up in an almost fetal position, hugging his knee's.   
  
Go... Please go. he said, trying to fight back as long as he could. Sirius nudged his wet nose under is friends chin, and bobbed his head up.  
  
_Stick together, I won't leave.  
  
_Please don't... Watch.  
  
_Not scared, you're my friend. Wont leave you alone anymore...  
  
_Breathing in strangled gasps, Remus opened his wide and bloodshot eyes, his body searing into another.  
  
_It's alright. I wont leave.  
  
  
  
Alright?_  
  
The dusty grey wolf let out a soft whimper, leg scratching at his back painfully. The massive black dog, slightly larger than his friend, advanced a step, and waited for a reaction. For a moment the wolf growled, and then his ears perked up, and he twitched all over.  
  
_You alright? _he asked again, nudging the wolf and rolling him over. Two desolate grey eyes stared up into his own, making the dog want to shiver. A second later, they blinked, and swirled.  
  
_This is... Too amazing. I'm still myself, completely._ the wolf mumbled, whimpering as he staggered to his feet. _If I fight... I can be me._  
  
Sirius stared wagging his tail again, and leaned against his friend in an offering of support. _Neat.  
  
I still think this is a horrible idea, and I swear to God, if I even attempt to hurt any of you... Just bite me as hard as you can.  
  
Couldn't do that to you.  
  
Look, I'm asking you to. I might lose myself, and I don't want to hurt anyone.  
  
  
_All night, they roamed about, laughing with each other and chasing after rabbits, no intentions of hurting anything. Wormtail rode along James' immature rack of antlers, Sirius skipped along through the woods, Prongs galloping steadily nearby.  
  
_Isn't this better than locked up? _Sirius barked.  
  
_You don't even know... Thank you. For... Everything.  
  
Not a problem.  
  
  
  
_When he awoke the next morning as his human self, he was afraid that everything had been a wonderful dream. But the massive black dog asleep next to him told otherwise, and he relaxed. There were no scratches, or injuries to himself, and he didn't hurt as much as he usually did after. His heart was at ease, for once in his life. For a brief little speck in time, he was content with himself, and didn't worry about his curse.  
  
  
  
Come on Peter, this doesn't work if you won't play. Sirius grumbled, broom over his shoulder.  
  
But I'm _terrible_. Every time you drag me up on a broom I end up breaking something I'd rather not...  
  
Stop being a wimp and just play for God's love. James snapped, wanting very much to have another Chaser. It won't be much fun at all if there are only three of us.  
  
Peter rolled his eyes in a depressing manner, and mounted the spare broom ruefully.  
  
I swear to God, some day they'll regret pushing me around. he muttered to himself, Remus catching a brief part.  
  
_Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!  
  
Stand aside you silly girl...  
  
Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead-  
  
_Shaking his head and wishing he didn't have ridiculous daydreams, he rose into the air, and took place as Keeper near the three-quarter sized hoops.  
  
he called out, gripping to his broom handle.  
  
  
  
I still don't get it. Sirius said thoughtfully. James and Peter were off in other rooms, sleeping away their afternoon. Sirius had woken up very early for a change, and found Remus with his nose buried in an old, and slightly molding journal. For over an hour they had been sharing their opinions on Cor's study, most of which was Remus attempting to explain some things.  
  
Look, you just can't understand. he snapped after a moment. Sirius held back his words, and looked around.   
  
I can try, can't I?  
  
  
  
_Sunday, October twelfth, nineteen four,  
  
I believe the cycle has broken at long last. Now, and possibly forever more, there shall be no pain. As long as I am in the company of understanding fellows, no pain such as my plight can befall me. They still seek a cure, but alas, I have found the only cure, the true cure.  
  
A kind heart.  
  
  
  
  
  
_**A/n- Sorry for the short chappie. Next ones will be longer and quicker out, so sorry for delays... All feedback, of any sort, is welcome!  
  
  
**Iggie


	25. Part XXV Red Checked Blue

A/n- Well, here's another...  
  
Disclaimer- Only to save my own ass, I shall have to point out that I own NOTHING. There, I said it... ::cries::  
  
Rating- PG-13 for a few... Er, suggestive themes...  
  
Chapter Keywords- ::Hums wedding march::, stray boxers (!), cake and wine... Possible chaos, do I smell?  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XXV - Red Checked Blue  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Remus opened his eyes in a daze, wondering who had woken him up from his much needed train nap. The previous night had been a full moon, and traveling to Hogwarts right when the sun had risen wasn't his idea of relaxing.  
  
Neither was the fact that Severus Snape was glaring down at him.  
  
Scooting back in his seat slightly, trying to calm down.  
  
What do you want?  
  
Funny, you're usually not that snide. Oh, full moon last night... Snape trailed off, and blinked a few times. Anyway, here.  
  
Remus raised his eyebrows, wondering why he was being offered a sealed bottle of a very nasty looking green solution. Snape let out a mutter of something, and dropped it in his lap.  
  
Remember this? he asked after producing a very stained and battered scrap of parchment. You dropped it over the spring holidays, and I couldn't resist a challenge. You know how I hate to find a project incomplete.  
  
Blinking in rapid succession, Remus snatched the vial up, held it to the light, and gapped.  
  
Does it... Work?  
  
How should I know, I'm not a bloody werewolf. And your stupid list was all wrong. Half of your base components were completely off and counteracting... And I would have though you'd know that Alcaphros will make you slightly, er, prone to loose your meal. he said, sitting down across awkwardly.  
  
It would be worth it.  
  
Well, anyway, Snape mumbled, checking to make sure no one saw him in the same room with a Gryffindor, and a poor cursed one at that.  
  
Thank you. Remus said after a moment of silence. This could help find a cure... I didn't know you cared.  
  
I don't. Snape assured in all honesty. The fact that there was a potion someone couldn't brew amused me. Don't get yourself all fancied with the thought that I care to help lowly little beasts like yourself.  
  
Remus hid his smile, and nodded his head. It was just typical for him to say such a thing, but nonetheless, he was extremely grateful. A little flicker of understanding shot between the two of them, and for such a brief second, it lasted Remus a lifetime.  
  
  
  
What the- Remus snapped, waving out his hand and trying to fend the bird away. Three days later in the Great Hall, an owl he had never seen before was making a very valiant attempt to lodge itself on Remus' plate, carrying a thick letter. He managed to snatch it free, and offered toast as a peace treaty with the rueful creature.  
  
Whosh it frem? James asked through his porridge.  
  
My brother...  
  
  
_Moony,  
  
Well, we're going for the twenty-third, and thanks for the heads up. Funny, it rained all day on the fifth. Stormed like hell... Anyway, September twenty third you're coming here for the wedding, I already contacted Dumbledore and he doesn't have a problem with it. Don't worry about robes or anything, we've a bunch up here for you. McGonnagal will find you the day before and arrange all the traveling. And if you're wondering about the nasty git of an bird, his name is Viator and it used to be Shelly's. Bloody wonder she wanted to get rid of him... You're welcome to keep it if you want, considering you're insane and all we thought it'd be worth a shot. Stupid git nearly bit me hand off last week. Well, I have to go... And get all clammy and nervous and such. What'd you get me into?  
  
Forever wondering what I did to deserve you (hehe),  
  
Romolus  
  
_Hey, anyone got a quill and parchment handy? he asked, and somewhere down the table, a piece and a pencil was passed along. Snapping at the grey hawk to shut up, he wrote out a reply.  
  
_Good timing, I have a test that day if I'm not mistaken. Bane's a nasty bugger... So is this blasted bird. Trying to eat my breakfast, of all things. I dearly hope you were being sarcastic about that last remark, and I know you were, but you puzzle me sometimes. Good luck with the girl, God knows they're impossible. See you soon,  
  
Remus  
  
  
  
_Too thin. Bane said offhand as he strode by during that week. Remus kept his sigh to himself, knowing the potion was almost perfect. Having spent so much time in the basement with Shelly and Caleb, he had picked up a few tips for potion brewing.   
  
he mumbled, and went back to stirring the luck potion.  
  
What's with that? He usually gives you more crap than that. Sirius said after Bane lectured him on proper diluting of armadillo blood.  
  
I got a bit of practice over the summer.  
  
So far you've gotten better at everything over the summer. James mumbled, his own potion a pathetic blob of pink goo.  
  
Hey Pete, you should try that. You know, being smart. Sirius said with a grin, only to receive a handful of something to the face.  
  
Good job Peter, you took my advice for once... Need to start sticking up for yourself at some point.  
  
  
Lily said tightly, sitting down at the Gryffindor table a week in. A few people gave her unwelcome glares, hoping last year she had finally given up and had left for good. Remus didn't look up from his meal, and simply nodded a response.  
  
Are you still mad at me? she asked after a moment, not caring that the vast majority of the boys were drooling somewhat at her. James was having a very hard time containing himself, and resorted to arranging his peas and corn in separate piles on his plate.  
  
Now why should I be mad? Remus muttered sarcastically. No, I can't seem to think of anything. Care to give it a go?  
  
Look, I said I was sorry. she said halfheartedly. I... Didn't think.  
  
_That_ much was apparent.  
  
Look, it wasn't an easy thing to cope with, alright? In all honesty I'm still having trouble with the fact that... Well... Yeah. she grumbled, biting her thin lip. I thought about it all summer, and I feel horrible. I left so much unsaid-  
  
Yeah, like an apology.  
  
Well, sorry then. I'm sorry I acted like a complete and total bitch. Lily admitted, poking at her food thoughtfully. But I am, really! All summer I had horrible nightmares that you'd never speak to me again.  
  
Then we had something in common.  
  
Lily hung on that comment for a long time, and finally made eye contact. I really am sorry Remus. she said quietly, James again fighting to contain himself. I didn't mean to be like that...  
  
I can't blame you, but it hurt... We'll see. I'm sorry, but I can't go right back to trusting you again.  
  
she said with a forced smile. Now about that Arithmancy homework Collins assigned...  
  
  
  
Potter, Black, pay attention! McGonnagal snapped.  
  
Oh, but we are. James said bravely, smiling to himself.  
  
Yeah. You were offering your views on the basic principles of human Transfiguration. Sirius remarked.  
  
And the dangers involved when switching between forms, how the transaction can occasionally falter if the subject isn't concentrating solely on the final product. James added. A few of the Ravenclaw's shot him amazed stares, and the professor shared this stunned look. Sirius and James shared one of their identical grins, acting extremely innocent while laughing their heads off mentally.  
  
Remus shook his head, and went back to copying notes.  
  
How they manage to get away with everything is beyond me.' he told himself.  
  
You're the reason they get away with it. You taught them to be liars... You've had so many years of practice.' his muse reminded.  
  
Lupin, are you listening?  
  
Yes ma'am. he grumbled, snapping back to attention.  
  
  
Lupin, if you want to make it on time I suggest you hurry along. McGonnagal said in a dry tone at the end of the month.  
  
  
  
He pushed through a pack of Gryffindors gathered around Sirius (he didn't bother to look why) and followed his professor through the halls. Eventually they stopped in the teachers meeting room, where an emerald fire was burning brightly in the hearth.  
  
It's pre-designated to send you to the Hollen household, as requested. she informed, nudging him forward. You are to return in three nights at six p.m. Be on time or the portal will not be open.  
  
Yeah... Bye. he said, and stepped through into the licking flames. A moment later, he stumbled out of the Hollens dirty fireplace, covered in soot.  
  
Hey, little brother, glad you could make it. Romolus said with a small smile. He held out a hand, and pulled a wind-blown Remus to his feet.  
  
he grumbled, thoroughly hating the Floo way of travel with a passion. His brother tried to smile again, and led the way up a set of mahogany stairs to the guest room.  
  
I thought you guys were having a Muggle wedding. Remus said with a frown, eyeing the dress robes hanging by the day bed.  
  
Nope. Her mum decided this would be all right...  
  
What about her Muggle family? It'd be a lot easier just to do it Muggle style. he pointed out, dropping his satchel at the door and flopping down on a recliner. Romolus went silent for a short while, and his face fell into a rare display of sadness.  
  
She doesn't have any family outside of her brother. he said in a quiet voice. Mother, she's an Auror... Everyone was killed by Dark supporters. Sister, grandparents, aunts and uncles... he trailed off, and shivered to himself. Remus nodded, grimacing as well. In a few hours, these people would become his deceased family.  
  
Hell, I'll have a mother figure now.' he mused to himself.  
  
Rom, I don't mean to really ruin the wedding or anything... he started after a long minute. But I have to clear some things out.  
  
  
  
I'm not going to visit often, I probably wont come to holiday events, and I don't really want to be a part of this family. he said, going on before Romolus could protest. I'm not going to mess your life up now. You and Shelly... I'll only cause problems with you guys. Bad enough having me as a brother, you shouldn't have to look after me like a father. Remus said after a mental debate. The words left his brother speechless, unable to counter with anything intelligent.  
  
I... Rem, what...  
  
This is your life, I'm not about to go and ruin it. Better off if one of us can live happily ever after, right? Remus concluded, eyes shut and teeth gritted. He had to yell at himself to not get emotional, and to suck it up.  
  
Remus, we're bothers, we have to do it together... It's always been that way...  
  
Exactly. Things change, I've changed. It's your life, and your choice to make. But no matter what, I'm not going to tear away the only thing you have and the only person you love.  
  
Remus, you're... I've always looked out for you, I-  
  
And now it's my time to look out for you. Remus interrupted, looking him in the eye. Romolus was stunned, to say the least, and he was frozen mid gesture. In a plain and indescribable way, he was hurt. The very core of him pained to hear such words. You need to forget about me Romolus, and live your life without me now.  
  
I... Can't. he said, hands finally falling to his side. Blue eyes watered, and shut tight. I can't just forget about you, never. Nothing could make me forget about you.  
  
For once big brother, you're wrong. Remus remarked, mouth moving without his knowledge. Romolus left the room in a blur, leaving behind an equally confused Lupin.  
  
  
Where's my sock? Remus! Someone, where's-No, where are my shoes? Romolus shouted, running in and out of doors, pacing through the hallway in the fashion of a Muggle cartoon character. With a screeching skid, he stopped short of the bathroom, and snapped the door open. Toothpaste dripping from his mouth, a rabid-looking Remus raised an eyebrow.  
  
Sock! Shoes! Romolus demanded, fidgeting as though he had to pee.  
  
Er... Couch, second pillow, and kitchen, respectfully. Remus said thickly, foaming spit falling into the sink. His brother dashed off, thundering down the stairs, yelling about everything.  
  
he muttered, rolling his eyes as he spit again. With a dreadful sigh, he fought to tame his messy hair, and resorted to using a bottle of Muggle hairspray nearby. Careful to avoid the hyperactive groom-to-be, he went back in his room, and struggled into the stiff shirt and fancy black robes.  
  
Shelly! Where's my hat? a voice bellowed from below, followed by the cackling laugh of Grandpa Hollen.  
  
Swear to God that boy has lost his mind. Shelly's mother mused affectionately as she strode by, hat in hand. Kicking his dirty boot sunder the bed and tying on the rented leather loafers, Remus surveyed himself in the mirror with a nasty face.  
  
You look great. Shelly said from the doorway, smiling in a nervous manner.  
  
You too. Remus added, returning the grin. She was clad in a mix of Muggle and wizarding fashion, a beautiful and elegantly sewn white, flowing rode that trailed out into the hall.  
  
Mums old dress... She insisted I wear it. Anyway, it fits and we're not rich, so it'll do. she sid with a shrug, checking the mirror that her curled and upped hair was still intact.  
  
Where's my tie? Romolus bellowed again, thoroughly in a state of panic. With a sigh and shake of her head, Shelly left, twirling the missing article in her hand.  
  
And I'm going to be related to that bafoon. she muttered with a laugh, grabbing Romolus by the neck as he ran by.  
  
A few minutes later, after countless shrieks for another missing sock, Remus pulled his brother into the guest room and forced him into a chair.  
  
Do I look alright, I mean, my hair and the robes and-  
  
Shut up. Remus snapped.  
  
I really don't think this tie goes with the shirt, but Sarah insisted-  
  
Shut up.  
  
And Richard's in a right out fit, everything is going all wrong and I-  
  
Shut up. Remus said loudly, very lightly hitting his brother across the face. He blinked a few times, and let out a breath.  
  
I needed that.  
  
I know. Remus smiled, looking down on him. Listen to me for a moment.  
  
This again?  
  
You look fine. Everything is going to be perfect if you stop running around like a Norwegian Ridgeback that just made acquaintance with Sirius Black. he said, smiling in a serious manner. I called the chapel, and everything is set up, and I even double-checked on the hotel in New York. Nothing. Is. Wrong. he repeated slowly, letting out a sigh, as it did nothing to erase the panic from his brothers face.  
  
he finally said, handing a small bottle over.  
  
Where in hell did you manage to get scotch? Romolus asked with a frown, downing the glass nonetheless.  
  
Doesn't matter, but I knew you'd need it. Now shut up and go get married.  
  
He got to his feet, clad in a set of robes a Lupin should never own, and was halfway to the door when Remus stopped him.  
  
Brother, dearest?  
  
  
  
You did remember your boxers, correct?  
  
With a small yelp, Romolus dashed down the hall frantically. Laughing, Remus noted he went into Shelly's room, and not his own. Dashing back to the bathroom, armed with his red plaid undergarments, Romolus began to yell about something again.  
  
Oh yes, and bloody wonder what you two did last night. he muttered as Shelly waltzed by.  
  
Oh God, that's a sad thought. Lord, I'm going to be sick...' he mused, running to the other bathroom before he lost his breakfast all over the rented robes.   
  
Gross. Rom... and Shelly. But Rom... God that's so terribly, terribly wrong. he groaned. My _brother_...  
  
  
  
He watched in dismay as the two stood up at the alter, hands together, smiling like embarrassed children. All around the small church, the selective family were all gazing with teary eyes at the couple.  
  
Our family should be here.' Remus thought in a very deep state of depression. They would be if it weren't for me. Mum would be here, father wouldn't be dead...' his mind told him. Unconsciously, his fingers traced over the white scar on his hairline, eyes going blank.  
  
Everything would be different, this would all be so different. Rom would have his family here, Shelly would have in-laws... Well, he wouldn't have his boxers.' he mused, fighting back a small chuckle. With another pang of loneliness, Remus nearly grimaced as they both said I do. eagerly.  
  
It's alright lad, he's still your brother. Grandpa whispered in an airy voice as they kissed. Nothing' will take him away from you. That boy's devoted to you.  
  
he grumbled, staring off into oblivion as Mrs. Hollen positively broke down crying.  
  
Oi, sucker up Sarah, nothin' to cry about. Grandpa laughed.  
  
  
Bye! Owl us when you're there, be careful! Mrs. Hollen yelled, waving with teary eyes. Romolus had his bride seated behind him on a fancy broom, her dress trailing out behind as they kicked off into the afternoon sky. Shelly turned around, smiling gleefully, waving back to the very small crowd of family. As they flew off into the day, Remus shut his eyes, head hung to his chest.  
  
Goodbye big brother. he mused, and slipped away, unnoticed, forgotten.  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- I know, a sappy ending to a slightly cheerful chapter, but I couldn't help it! Next one will be out really soon!  
  
**Iggie


	26. Part XXVI Aegrotus Animi

A/n- Thanks everyone for reading!  
  
Disclaimer- For the love of God you must knwo I own nothing by now..  
  
Rating- This one is a low PG-13 for mild language.  
  
Chapter Keywords- Lily, Holiday Blues  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XXVI - Aegrotus Animi  
  
  
  
Remus, what's been bothering you? Lily asked quietly during History of Magic in late November.  
  
he muttered, copying notes absently.  
  
Lie. What's bothering you?  
  
  
  
I'm going to find out. she said stubbornly, smiling sweetly as Professor Binns offered her a glare.  
  
  
  
Then why not just tell me? she said out of the corner of her mouth. She was currently practicing her skills of looking as though she was paying attention, while actually not. He thought momentarily it was good enough to put James to shame..  
  
And pass torturing a Slytherin? Come now, Sirius would murder me. he said without smiling. And besides, it's terribly amusing to work you up.  
  
With a frustrated grumble, she hit him on the head, and went back to her classwork.  
  
  
  
And Gryffindor manages to blow away another match! This team is unstoppable! the new announcer said merrily as James lowered to the ground, Snitch in hand. Since the start of the season, no one had managed to put a mark on their record. But the team had a different view on playing. Gradually, they began to learn how to form plays of their own, distancing Remus away as he became less of a key player. By the middle of December, the entire game was run by James and Sirius, their friend quietly flying in the background.  
  
  
In classes, he began to drift away as well. No longer the new kid, professors called upon him less. Even Transfiguration, always one of his strongest subjects, he received no attention. McGonnagal was too busy being amazed by the sudden turn over with the original Marauders. Peter managing to do something successful was far more amazing than anything he could muster up.  
  
And so it became that he lost a lot of his connection with reality. Romolus gone, barely ever dropping a note, and his friends slightly obsessed with pranking out their fifth year, he faded into the distance. Only Lily took notice of his condition.  
  
  
You're gonna tell me. she said irritably during Divination, having taken the course for an easy mark. Remus said nothing, and continued to stare off out the window, watching December snowflakes trickle down. With a irritated groan, she grabbed him by the shaggy mass of hair, and made him look at her.  
  
Did James poison your breakfast or something? What is _wrong_? she demanded, making sure to not be heard by anyone else. Blank eyes stared back into her fiery own, and she let go, hand falling to her side.  
  
she muttered quietly, getting the most awful feeling from him. For a reason she couldn't explain, she started shivering, shaking all over, and it took a long moment for her to calm down.  
  
Remus, what is going on with you? she mumbled in a half-voice. What happened?  
  
Quiet back there. Professor Mendell snapped, halfway into a discussion on planetary alignment and the effects on something or rather.  
  
Nothing at all. Remus said, looking more and more like a ghost.   
  
  
  
What the hell is she doing on a broom? Sirius asked, prodding James in the side as Slytherin emerged from the locker rooms preceding the last match before the holidays. He raised an eyebrow, and noting her emerald robes, stated the obvious.  
  
Playing Quidditch I would assume.  
  
Well no shit, but... Lily doesn't play Quidditch. he muttered, mounting up and falling in position on the field.  
  
Does now I guess. Chaser. And hit her. Hard. Sirius yelled. As the whistle was blown, Remus flew lazily back to his hoops, watching absently as the game went on. A few minutes in, Lily flew right by him, whizzing by in a whirlwind.  
  
Tell me what's wrong. she asked loudly, tossing the Quaffle back to her teammate, though the goal was blocked by Sirius' Bludger work.  
  
came the monotonous reply.  
  
with a roll of her eyes, Lily flew back to the game, robes billowing behind.  
  
  
Lupin, watch-  
  
The Slytherin who had tried to warn him was far too late, and Remus instantly toppled off his mount. A scarlet blur caught him by the neck of his robes right before he collided with the blanket of white covering the ground, and he was slowly lowered.  
  
Knocked out from impact. James announced to the team. A moment later, the silent crowd erupted into a chaotic fit, three Houses screaming and one cheering.  
  
Sirius cursed as the Slytherin Seeker smiled, holding out the Snitch in a mocking manner.  
  
Idiot ruins everything for us. the new Beater to the Gryffindor team muttered as Remus was carried off by James and Sirius, while the rest stayed behind to argue with the officials.  
  
  
  
So, are you going to tell me now?  
  
Remus closed his eyes with a long groan, and rolled away from the first image he saw. He heard James and Sirius snort in the background, laughing about something he didn't understand.  
  
Leave me alone. he grumbled, reluctantly sipping the potion that was shoved under his nose.  
  
Not until you tell me why the hell you've been an antisocial and depressed little git.  
  
Way to cheer him up Lils. James called from across the room, dropping something into a glass of water near a sleeping Slytherin boys bed. It started fizzing, and spilled over the sides before it settled down.  
  
Oh, and you're just doing a dandy job of making the ill feel so at home. she snapped right back, though doing nothing to help her ailing (and later very ailing) House mate.   
  
How long have I been out? he muttered, looking around with blurry vision for a moment.  
  
Only a few hours, nothing like last time. Sirius said lightly. James caught you before you hit the ground.  
  
he snapped sarcastically, wishing he would have hit his head just a little bit harder.  
  
Not a problem. James replied without noting the tone. Lily rolled her eyes, and with a shrug, hit Remus across the face.  
  
God dammit, what'd you do that for? he blurted out.  
  
Trying to knock some bloody sense into you, alright? she retorted, crossing her arms stubbornly. You've got more people that care about you than you likely realize you stupid prat. Now wake up and look around. Your life isn't as God-awefully shitty as you think it is. she concluded, and turned around. Grabbing James and Sirius before they caused any damage to a first year Hufflepuff girl, she towed them out of the Infirmary and let the nurse to her business.  
  
  
  
  
_Hey, Merry Christmas in advance!  
  
Taking heart to what you said before, I think it's safe to not bother asking you to come to our party. If you reconsider, we'd love to have you little brother. Saturday at three, come if you can. Bring your friends, all of them. It'll be a great party if you're there, really. Anyway, I have to go... Shelly cooked me dinner and I'm starving. See you around,  
  
Romolus  
  
_Remus tossed the crumpled note into the fireplace, frowning irritably. The Hogwarts Express had been delayed due to snow pile ups, and he wasn't able to the the grounds for another few hours. So now he was busy doing nothing.  
  
Hey come on, we're all going down to the pitch! Alex called, a gaggle of girls following after the Gryffindor pretty-boy.  
  
  
  
Aw come one Remus, you're the best Keeper we have!  
  
I'm the _only_ Keeper. And I'm busy.  
  
Alex muttered with a shrug, walking off with his girls right behind. Without diverting his gaze from the glittering flames, Remus conjured himself a sandwich, and chewed absently for a long time. Halfway into it though, James and Sirius came racing down the staircase, and crashed into his chair.  
  
Sirius called, running out the portal at top speed, broom over his shoulder. James stayed behind a minute to straighten the chair, took a few steps, and then turned around.  
  
  
  
  
  
James squinted a minute, and then raised an eyebrow. Didn't think ti was you... You look like shit, you know that?  
  
Remus mumbled, not breaking gaze from the fire.  
  
You sick again or...  
  
  
  
If you say so... he answered doubtfully. After a long pause, he shrugged, and ran off for the game.  
  
  
  
Remus, what's wrong?  
  
Nice to see you too. he grumbled, dropping his beaten satchel at the door and dragging himself to the couch. With an ungraceful flop, he fell onto the seat and promptly turned the television on.  
  
God damn bloody little- Caleb snapped from the basement door, slamming it shut. With an angry Hmph', he busied himself with dinner, ignoring the fact that Remus was there.  
  
Working on the potion you sent us, we found some flaws. Stupid gitty friend of yours thought it'd be a dandy gag to mix some silver particles in. Thank God I didn't drink that. he said upon realizing he had a guest.  
  
  
  
Caleb turned away from his meal, and looked up oddly. Somethin' wrong? he questioned.  
  
came the reply in a very easily noticed lie. Elise sat own next to him, and was accompanied by the eldest werewolf.  
  
Spit it out. they both demanded, sounding very much like Lilly. With silence, they both rolled their eyes, and moved closer, wedging him immobile.  
  
We'll hold your dinner hostage. Caleb threatened with a smile.  
  
Oh come, we can find a better torture than food. Elise mumbled.  
  
Not really. came the small admittance from Remus, smiling very slightly.  
  
Ha! There, you can be happy. Spill it out or we'll go on strike, and I know for fact your cooking skills are nonexistent.  
  
  
  
Damn, that sucks. Caleb said without thinking, to receive a jab in the gut from Elise.  
  
Remus, be reasonable. So maybe your brother's gone a little, but you wanted that, didn't you?  
  
I let it happen, but that doesn't mean I enjoyed doing so. I can't hold him back for the rest of my life... Half of me is glad to see him gone, and the rest of me screams in protest.  
  
Then don't regret it. Elise said sternly, hand on his shoulder. You've three hundred something years to live, don't let this haunt you for such a long time.  
  
It's not just that. Remus said quietly, looking up, at the ceiling. I just... God, everything is driving me insane. I can't stand it.  
  
Remus, be reasonable. You can't go on living a complete life of regret and emotional turmoil. Caleb said in a change of attitude. We all know you have it bad. All of our kind have it bad, it's just how it is. But you gotta wake up and live your own life before you end up kicking yourself in the ass over things you can't control.  
  
And for the love of God, it's Christmas! Elise laughed, in her usual habit of changing the subject when things became too morbid. Now lets go, work on the potion. Best to solve problems than to drawl on about old ones.  
  
  
He's out for the night. Caleb said with a chuckle of amusement. With a shrug, he lifted Remus up, carried him up the stairs and deposited him on the battered sofa. Remus took in a mumbly breath, and curled up. Hugging his knee's, he snorted once, and smiled in his dreams.  
  
Looks just like the little child all of us were denied to ever be. Elise noted with a distant grin.  
  
Come on, Caleb said after a moment, snapping out of a trance. Let's go to bed.  
  
Elise raised an eyebrow, and took a step away.  
  
Oh, not like that you pervi. Caleb mumbled, smiling to himself.  
  
Me? Perv? Highly unlikely, Thou Who Sleeps With Little On. she countered.  
  
H-Hey! You... You were in my r-room! he stammered, going very red.  
  
We share the room. Elise reminded with a hint of satire in her voice.  
  
B-But... My bed, you...  
  
Whistling a small tune, Elise went off to the bedroom, leaving her friend behind to glow crimson in the dark.  
  
El... El, come on... Let me in! Lupin's on the couch, where'm I-  
  
The door opened, and the tall boy toppled over onto the floor.  
  
The knob turns the _other_ way genius.  
  
  
  
Feeling better? Elise asked cheerfully in the early morning, dumping a pan load of scrambled eggs on a plate. Remus rubbed his tired eyes, let out a yawn, and flopped into the creaky wooden chair.  
  
Sort of. Haven't slept that well in a while though. he said, poking his eggs before testing them. Satisfied that Caleb hadn't cooked them, he downed the entire serving in under two minutes.  
  
And I take it I can cook eggs fairly well?  
  
Not half bad.  
  
Fair enough. Want some ham? We have a bit left over...  
  
  
  
EL_ISE_! Where'd you put my boxers? Caleb yelled, clearly distraught, voice rattling the walls. Remus snorted out a speck of his milk, and fell off his chair laughing.  
  
To hell, it's not like that. Elise snapped, flipping an omelet over in the rusty pan.  
  
Alright, whatever you say! Remus managed to blurt out, clearly not believing a word of it. The girl rolled her eyes, and dumped the scrap creation on his plate before banging him on the head with the pan.  
  
El, I'm not kidding! Where'd you put them? Caleb bellowed a minute later.  
  
You've got half a brain, find them yourself! I'm busy. she answered, smiling at Remus. Anyway Rem, want to come shopping with me down in Diagon?  
  
I thought you and Caleb couldn't go to very public places.  
  
Nothing a few charms and hoods can't fix. We scraped a few Galleons off of odd-jobs in America this fall, so I'm gonna go out and buy some things.  
  
For who? I mean... Remus said oddly, wondering exactly what people she could buy gifts for.  
  
You, Caleb, and myself of course. she said brightly. I can't spend the money on anything else, so might as well.  
  
Is Caleb coming?  
  
Oh no, he detests shopping in any form. Runs straight to the Quidditch store and bumbles there all day, complaining that I take too long.  
  
How long _do_ you take?  
  
Only a few hours. she said with a smile, grabbing his hand. Come on, it'll be fun! And maybe you'll see your friends-  
  
I think I'll pass.  
  
Too bad. And with that, Elise promptly Apparated out of the area, dragging Remus along with her to The Leaky Cauldron.  
  
  
When'd you learn to Apparate? And poorly at that. Remus muttered, brushing dirt off of his robes and standing up from the pile of trash.  
  
Come off it, I was close enough. she said irritably, looking around for a way out of the back alley. With a shrug, she vaulted herself over a broken fence, Remus following after. They entered in the tavern, both with hoods drawn tight to hide themselves. Silently they passed through to the back, and out towards the brick wall.  
  
  
  
For a while he stood outside, looking around at the serene little villa and all it's content families. Children bouncing through the snow, parents laughing joyfully and mothers armed with bags of goods to be wrapped and placed beneath a tree. To him, it was the cliche'd life he never had, a surreal experience he could only view from afar. With the snowflakes falling gently down, the scene made him turn away in misery.  
  
  
  
Snapping back to reality, he raised his head very slightly, and bit his lip. Sirius was squinting from a few stores down, a bouncy brother and sister tagging at his heels.  
  
That you Moony?  
  
Walking away with a stiff step, he was able to sneak away before he had to deal with anyone.  
  
What am I doing? he asked himself, slipping inside the book store so as Sirius wouldn't follow. I have to stop running away...  
  
_  
Remus, knock it off. Romolus said gruffly, tackling him to the ground. He wiped a glob of mud off his brothers face, and secured his arms to his side so he wouldn't bolt again.  
  
The hell do you think you're doing? What in God's name are you going to accomplish by running away from all your problems, hm? Nothing. he said angrily, not offering him a bit of lenience. _  
  
_Stand up and face the world, alright? You might as well just throw yourself to the executioners if you're gonna keep up this act. Face your problems or they'll just get worse.  
  
  
  
  
  
I can't feel my leg.  
  
To hell with your leg.  
  
  
  
_Rumor has it this is going to mean war.  
  
Nonsense! With Dumbledore around, that old codger wouldn't try a thing...  
  
He already has men in place at the Ministry, spies they say.  
  
But we outnumber them, in all odds they wouldn't stand a chance!  
  
They're power hungry, it's only a matter of time...  
  
Remus shook his head, walking away from the gaggle of old men congregated in the back of Flourish and Blotts.  
  
  
_I will never understand your kind little wolf. Fighting to kill, with no reason other than so-called glory. What glory is to come by destroying your own race? It simply defies all logic our Creator bestowed upon us. You're fickle creatures, you are... War. What an idealistic and absurd concept. Maybe someday I will understand.  
  
  
  
  
_**A/n- Thanks for reading, all suggestions are welcome! PLEASE leave a review. PLEASE. I'm on my hands and knee's, begging pathetically here! Throw me a bone....  
  
  
**Iggie  
  
Title meaning- Aegrotus Animi: Ill/aching heart or mind


	27. Part XXVII Gelidus Revera

A/n- Here we go again...  
  
Disclaimer- Are these even necessary at this point? If so, I own nothing...  
  
Rating- PG-13, but I'm pushing it with how oft I swear in this one. Expect some nasty language... You've been warned.  
  
Chapter Keywords- ::Hums jungle bells::, and a bit of other... things...  
  
  
NOTES-  
  
LyriaPadfoot- Thank you to bits for being so patient with me. Torture, I know...  
  
kittylace- Oh yes, something is going to happen with Rem and El.... ::grin::  
  
aurielo- Shopping doesn't really get anywhere here... And as for everything else, you'll see.  
  
Amphitrite- Thanks! Glad someone likes my writing... Tell my Lit. professor that... Nag nag nag nag nag.  
  
Rykatu*L- Eh, he won't be getting happy any time soon, just a warning.  
  
TawnyWolf- Er, the dream, um... Not really. Per say... Just read...  
  
EVERYONE- thanks so much for the reviews. I love you all the pieces, you have no idea. So many times I was planning to drop this fic, you guys keep it going. Thanks!  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XXVII - Gelidus Revera  
  
  
  
Can we leave? he asked quietly, finally managing to track Elise down in the robe shop. She frowned, and set the long silver dress robes back on the rack.  
  
Why so rushed? I haven't even gotten to the Apothecary yet and we need powdered Froolang and hellecan beetle wings.  
  
Well can you be quick about it? I want to leave. Remus said impatiently, making sure Sirius wasn't still tracking him down.  
  
You being stalked or something?  
  
Sirius is here.  
  
Well go have a butterbeer with him! she suggested, completely missing his elusive manner.  
  
Rather not, thank you. Now hurry up.  
  
  
  
What's got him all in a fuss? Caleb asked as the young werewolf slammed the door, and promptly locked himself down in the basement to work and decode Cor's journal on his own. Then again, he _was_ shopping with you... Too bad I didn't have time to warn the poor soul. he said with a tsk'.  
  
I see you found your boxers. Elise teased, depositing a bag of gifts in the corner. Caleb went bright red, and muttered something as he continued to cook an attempt at dinner.  
  
He's just irritable lately. Elise said after a moment. He's been through a lot, so just try not to pester him. And deary, you'd best set the oven down unless you want a very VERY well done steak. she pointed out. Caleb let out a little squeak, and rushed to the steaming stove before their meal was destroyed.  
  
Well I just don't see how the little prat is going to get any better if he keeps distancing himself from everyone. he mused after flipping the slab of meat a few times thoughtfully.  
  
Remember when Johnson didn't get away? Elise said quickly. You went _nuts_ about it. Hell, you wouldn't even eat.  
  
he muttered, going pale and closing his eyes.  
  
And no matter how much I tried, you wouldn't say a word to me. Nothing. You still blame yourself for his execution too, don't you? she said, and took his silence as a confirmation. This is a little bit like that. He doesn't know where the hell he's going in life, and he's got one nasty guilt issue.  
  
Caleb nodded his head, still trying to push old memories away. A hand on his shoulder sapped him back to reality, and Elise's warm smile helped.  
  
We can't help him Caleb, you know that, don't you?  
  
But... Dammit, I hate seeing him like this. He's like family for God's sake.  
  
We never had anyone. None of us ever had anyone... It's the nature of a wolf to remain in solitude no matter how difficult it is. For him, all we can do is watch and make sure he doesn't do anything he won't regret.  
  
Dammit Elise, I hate this. he muttered in a childish, pained way.  
  
I know... I know.  
  
  
Is there any powdered Kneazle claw left?  
  
No, we used the last of it for the previous attempt. Caleb informed after a quick survey of their ingredients cabinet.  
  
You can use two pinches of Morripan hair for the same result. Remus said as he caused a minor explosion.  
  
Sorry, forgot to tell you I switched the lacewing and beetle wing jars... Caleb mumbled, mopping a bit of goo off his robes. My bad.  
  
Yeah... Can you give me that spare cauldron? This one melted through. he said after discarding the punctured metal.  
  
I don't know what Elise did with it.  
  
Where is she anyway?  
  
Who knows... Probably off shopping again or something, knowing her. I'd suspect she'll be back by Christmas morning.  
  
If you say so.  
  
  
Remus rolled over on the couch, drawing the thick wool blanket over himself with a shiver. He paid little attention to Caleb's call for breakfast, jerking a pillow over his head to mute the noise.  
  
Get your arse out of bed, we need to get working to pick up the slack for what we'll loose tonight. the older boy said after snatching the blanket and rolling his comrade onto the floor. Drawing himself to his feet, Remus stumbled along to the bathroom, and took a very brief cold shower before dressing.  
  
Too damn cold. he muttered over his breakfast.  
  
If you haven't noticed Sherlock, it snowed like a deuce last night. Caleb pointed out, finger extended to the window. All he saw was white, and a crack of light at the top.  
  
We're snowed in?  
  
Apparently, and Elise is snowed out. That isn't going to clear up by Wednesday... he paused for a moment, and ran a hand through his hair. Get a move on that meal, we have a lot to do before tonight.  
  
What's tonight?   
  
Blimey, have you been that out of it to forget about the cycle?  
  
Shit! The full moon is _tonight_? Remus cursed, aghast and angry at himself for not remembering.  
  
Caleb snapped with a hint of satire, rolling his eyes. Just spare a prayer for Elise that she's somewhere safe, and away from everyone... Might be hard with that pileup. he grumbled with another look at the blanket of white.  
  
Too bad werewolf precognostics are so unreliable. Remus mused.  
  
Trigger moment Sight always is, we're just damned to hell with it. One way or the other, we'll know if anything happens.  
  
  
  
Side by side, separated only by a wall of stone, the two wolves raised their heads and sniffed at the barred windows of their cells. Both returned the canine cry of the night, noses high, ears flattened to their heads. The lighter beast scratched feverently at his door, trying to pry his snout under the crack. Another painful howl echoed in the distance, both confined creatures returning it sadly.  
  
Five hours the pair endured, torn between instinct and human misery, waiting for the sun to rise from its shadowy grave.  
  
That is, until the grey wolf found a tiny crack in the wall.  
  
  
  
With dim moonlight shining high overhead, the inhuman Remus Lupin raced through the snow, following the scent of his comrade. Bouncing along through the sea of white, he followed trail, animal instinct and human determination taking over. After hearing a gunshot, he tore through any obstacle daring to daunt his path, until he too was fired upon.  
  
  
  
What was left of his control was soon lost as the first bullet screamed into his shoulder. Letting out a whimpering gasp, he lunged forward, tearing at his hunter. The comrade fired twice, one pellet managing to tnagle itself in his chest.   
  
Damn beast! another shouted, firing in rapid succession. Not even feeling the pain, he too was soon fallen.  
  
He limped forward, trailing blood all around, teeth dripping with the taste of human flesh. After a single sniff, he located his friend, and staggered about towards her.  
  
Three mangled carcasses aside, the wolf now had time to tend to its friend on its own time. After a few steps toward the motionless animal, the wolfen Remus Lupin let out a painful cry, cringing his face up as the moon above faded in the early morning light. Slowly, as though in a time warp, his human features returned one by one. Not bothering to wait for his hands to reshape or his face to form, he crawled forward, and collapsed next to the partially-human Elise Newman.  
  
'Lise... Elise, don't look up at the moon. he said in a raspy voice, covering her eyes with his paw. He knew that if she transformed back to human, her wounds would only be worse.  
  
Gotta... Gotta get you back. he mumbled, digging his uninjured arm under her and flipping her over. The snow where she had been laying was drenched red, mark of several bullets in her chest. Choking on his breath, Remus closed his eyes, and shook for a moment, fighting for air.  
  
Come on, gotta go. he told the unresponsive body, lifting her up with a twinge of pain. Trail of red leading back to the battle field, he trudged along, numb not from the cold, but numb from reality.  
  
  
  
Remus whimpered pathetically, fumbling to open the lock to Caleb's cell. By now the boys were fully human, though Elise's wounds had delayed the reforming by quite a bit. He set the half-wolf down on a table, having wiped it of experimental potions, and undid another latch.  
  
Elise, she's... he said in a slur, eyes fuzzing out before him. After sliding the chain free and twisting the last lock, he collapsed against the wall. The very last thing Remus saw was the bloody, mangled carcass of his friend.  
  
  
  
Hey man, you alright? Caleb asked quietly as Remus slowly opened his red eyes. Upon refocusing, he noticed the table was bare of Elise, though her blood still lingered in blotches all about the floor.  
  
What happened? he asked in a gasp, looking around. Catching Caleb's grim look and brief shiver, he anticipated the worse, and choked on his breath.  
  
No, she's still alive... Dammit, you got hit too? he suddenly exclaimed, pulling away part of the robes to reveal a large red patch on his front. Remus jerked away, and looked up, almost pleadingly.  
  
Where is she? he choked out, a spill of blood leaking from his mouth.  
  
Upstairs on the bed, asleep... he mumbled, crouching down. You need to get to a hospital, or get your ass back to Hogwarts. he stated, grabbing the boy before he dashed off. Let her sleep for a while, it isn't terribly critical right now. Nothing vital was punctured.  
  
She bled like hell... That can kill her easily enough. Rmeus said with difficulty, hand clutching at his bleeding side as he tried to break away.  
  
_You_ could be in shit if we don't get the goddamn bullet out! Caleb snapped, going stern and taking up a commanding look.   
  
Her first. Until she's ok I'm not... Going anywhere. he stammered, eyes shutting from the strain of sight.  
  
Elise _can't_ be taken to hospitals, she has no tolerance for silver, _that_ would drive her over the edge. At least with you we have a chance! Now for once just shut the hell up and worry about yourself! Caleb bellowed.  
  
She's going to DIE! Remus countered, getting to his feet with a grunt of pain. Caleb grabbed him by the arm, not knowing there was a bullet lodged there as well, and pushed him against the wall. In an almost maniacal manner, he stared him down, eyes peircing more sharply than any bullet could.  
  
Forget about her, there isn't anything we can do right now. Take her to a hospital, she dies. Take her to Mungo's or another wizard hospital, she'll be murdered. Go to any Healer, she'll be turned in and executed. You have family left, you have friends, and you have a chance. Are you going to throw it all away over one person? he asked, eyes dancing in the firelight.  
  
You'd be that heartless, to treat her like.. .Like an expendable pawn? Remus questioned, not daring to move an inch.   
  
Life is exactly like that Lupin, one big game of chess. he said, moving his hands and allowing Remus to slide back to the floor. You have to make certain sacrifices in order to win the game. We give up our freedom in order to survive. You, on the other hand, have become part of an elaborate plan. Some twisted little scheme no one but the player believes in. Caleb mused, closing his eyes and drawing in a tight breath. But to fail, to try and save that one little pawn, the whole game is ruined. Checkmate. He snapped his fingers, and looked down at his friend.  
  
You have a future, and you have to live it in order to win the game. You're one of those little pawns... Only caring to save the big picture, to help those around it. Wake up, and choose your own path. he spat. And if you wont, I'll do it for you. Get your ass out of here, and get some help. he ordered, and grabbed him by the robes when Remus made no moment.   
  
I don't care about my life. Remus said quietly, not meeting the cold gaze. I have no concern for it. Now let me go.  
  
This is a mistake kid, a huge one.  
  
Let me go. Remus snapped, breaths coming in rattling gasps.  
  
And without any further argument, Caleb set him down, fighting down the desire to scream. Watching as the boy limped up the staircase, he took Remus' place against the wall.  
  
Two down... Me to go. he muttered.  
  
  
  
Elise, Elise, come on... Wake up. he asked desperately, shaking her shoulder and tapping her porcelain cheek lightly. Wake up Elise, please...  
  
Emitting a pathetic groan, she half-stirred, and managed to find his hand with her own. Remus knelt down on the floor, relieved that she was alive to say the least.  
  
she asked in an almost mute voice, devoid of all tone. He gripped her freezing hand tight, as though his grasp was all that bound her to the world of the living.  
  
  
Yeah, it's me. he said after a moment. She never opened her eyes, and didn't move outside of trailing her hand up his arm.  
  
You're hurt. she muttered weakly, dropping her hand down from the wound.  
  
I'll be fine he assured, though not believing a word of it.  
  
Go get... Some help. Elise mumbled in a slur, turning her head to him and trying with all that remained of her strength to smile.  
  
Not until you're well again... So how are you feeling?  
  
She made, for what Remus could surmise, a rattling laugh, and closed her eyes at the pain.  
  
Few gunshots, nothing I can't handle.  
  
You sure you're alright?  
  
To phrase you, I'm fine.  
  
Her eyes did nothing to convince him, and hours later, he fell asleep on the floor, exhausted and hurt no matter how he tried to deny it.  
  
  
  
  
  
Merry Christmas, Mr. Lupin.  
  
For a moment he felt as though he were in a horribly painful dream, though upon refocusing his sight, he found himself in the Hogwarts Infirmary. With a sick groan, he tried to lean forward, but Dumbledore held a hand to his shoulder and stopped him from doing so.  
  
Poppy will have my head if you move from this bed. he said with a smile.  
  
Who's Poppy?  
  
I'm affraid Nurse Ahmand had to leave due to family problems, Madame Pomfrey will be the new nurse. She has been informed upon your condition. he said simply, and held out a small box.  
  
Chocolate Frog?  
  
Why am I here? Remus asked quickly, his mind not to be diverted from panic. Dumbledore chuckled, and let a small laugh escape.  
  
A very odd fellow contacted me early this morning, and brought you here over the Floo Network while you were asleep. We exchanged a brief welcome and parting, as he left very quickly. However did you managed to lodge four bullets in yourself? he asked curiously.  
  
Thought it was just three... Wasn't really paying attention. he muttered to himself. Wait a minute, is Elise here or-  
  
The boy did mention something of a girl, and that I was to relay to you that everything would be taken care of'. I'm affraid that's all I know of the situation. the Headmaster said, and took a bite from his candy. I must be getting off, I have much to prepare for tonight's feast. If Madame Pomfrey will allow it, you can later go to your dorm for your things, the boy left them all here. Well, good day Mr. Lupin, and I do advise you to stay away from loaded rifle's...  
  
He was left to be fussed over by a very zealous nurse, having several potions shoved in his face and many Charms done over and over to ensure his health.  
  
Elise is the one that needs help. he grumbled as he wrote out a long, and very sloppy complaint to Caleb.  
  
  
  
Hey Pete, I thought you were staying with your parents. Remus said, rubbing under his neck as he collapsed onto his familiar bed, ignoring the small pile of presents at the foot.  
  
Er, I was suppose to stay with my mum, but she invited Father over for dinner a few nights ago... I haven't heard them fight that much since they got divorced. he said, going red in the face. They always fight over everything I do... I slipped out of my room and hitched a ride here since it's closest. Peter said as he went about to unpacking all his things neatly. I just got here a few hours ago... I thought you were with those two other people, or your brother or something...  
  
Change of plans. was the short reply, and the end of the conversation.  
  
  
  
Mr. Lupin, there's a man here to see you. You're to come with me to the Great Hall. McGonnagal said late that night, leading him out of the empty Gryffindor Common Room. For hours he had been staring into the fire, transfixed by it as a distraction from reality. Seeing Caleb now, sitting on the table with a pale face and white knuckles, he almost broke down on the spot. McGonnagal left, and he was there, alone, to face grim reality.  
  
Take me back to her. he demanded after a few strangled breaths.  
  
I can't. You're to stay here, Madame Pomfrey told me so.  
  
Do you think I give a damn about a few shots to the chest and a little blood loss? She's gonna die for Chrissake, and you want me to stay here and let that happen?  
  
Caleb winced at the words, and swallowed. You have to listen to me, now, if ever-  
  
I've killed before, I swear to God Caleb, _take me back_. he snapped through clenched teeth, loosing all feeling in his aching body. They glared at each other like circling bulls, until finally Caleb relented.  
  
An hour. Anything longer and it'd be a harm to your health...  
  
I know a way out.  
  
  
  
Remus had to fight back a sob the moment he saw her. If she had been pale before, it was nothing now. She was now almost the colour of whitened parchment, her lips nearly blue, eyes open and glazed. Lying on the bed as she was, Elise Newman looked more like a ghost than any living being he had ever seen before. Falling to his knee's by the bed, he bit his lip, and started mumbling incomprehensibly to himself.  
  
She isn't going to live much longer... Caleb mumbled as he shut the door, taking a chair in the corner.  
  
I can kind of tell that much. he snapped, and went back to gazing at the almost lifeless body before him. He hung his head down, trying to shake away what he was witnessing.  
  
There has to be something we can do.  
  
No hospital can take her, Hogwarts can't treat her, and even Mungo's couldn't save her. Nothing.  
  
  
  
The entire hour he sat in silence, looking her over, praying to anything that would hear his quiet plea to spare her life. At the strike of ten, Caleb put a hand on his shoulder, telling him wordlessly it was time to leave.  
  
Bye Elise... he said weakly, turning away. He stopped dead as something cold grasped his hand, and he found it to be Elise's once again.  
  
I guess... This is a bad time, to fall in love, aye... Remus? she asked with the last of her breath, lips curling into a last smile. Abandoning Caleb's hold, he fell on top of her, not caring that tears leaked from his eyes as they embraced.  
  
Please God... Elise, you can't die. Not now... Dammit, I need you here. he cried pathetically.  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Wow am I going to be flamed for that... And I might remind you all that romance is FAR from my forte, and this is as close as any of you will ever see from my mind. Sorry for the angst overload, but I just can't help myself! Truly! Next one coming soon, promise. :-/  
  
Well, as long as I get reviews... ::wink wink:: What can I say, I'm a review hound. ::shrug::  
  
**Iggie  
  
**  
  
**Title meaning- Gelidus Revera: Cold/bitter reality


	28. Part XXVIII Black As The Sun

A/n- There are actually two versions of this, as I didn't like the first one. So hopefully this one is a lot better than the older version. And thanks for the encouraging words during my summer Literature stuff, I swear I'd have gone insane without you all. :)  
  
Disclaimer- Lalala, I just don't feel like putting one. I trust you know this by now.  
  
Rating-PG-13 for language, alcohol and various other things I randomly add.  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XXVIII v2 - Black As The Sun  
  
  
  
This is your fault. Remus muttered, hands gripping at his hair in a mad fashion. You... You let her die... You could have done something, taken her to the Ministry...  
  
You really think she'd be happy living registered? She would be placed in a facility, or forced to live in one of those established communities. Death is better than that. Caleb said quietly, kneeling down on the ground and putting a hand on Remus' shoulder. They wouldn't help her anyway. Those Ministry men were dispatched to kill her. Don't even _think_ that they'd help her Remus.  
  
How can you live with this? he snapped, turning around. Caleb looked away from the hateful gaze, eyes shut tight. You _let_ her die.  
  
I saved her Remus, twice. he said. Once from the Ministry. And now I saved her from a fate she doesn't deserve. They don't want us alive, they've been attempting to wipe us out for ages, it's all in Cor's journal. That's why we've been trying to stop you from reading it. _No one_ wants us alive, alright? She'd would have been beaten and smacked around to the point where she wouldn't be able to stand, even if she did live. I am _not_ going to let that happen, and yes, even if it means letting her die. We agreed on it, a long time ago when I first met her in the Canadian Ministry. She let herself die, alright?  
  
Remus took in a few strangled breaths, shaking his head back and forth.  
  
No, that's not true... You're lying! That isn't true-  
  
Caleb barked, grabbing him by his robes and making him look up. The same grey eyes stared back to him, red and dripping, disbelieving.  
  
Wake up kid, this is life for us. You've been huddled up with Dumbledore so long you've forgotten how we live. _This_, he sid sharply, pointing to where Elise lay silent. This is our life, my life, and your life. When you open your eyes and deal with it, I'll be there to pick you up again. Caleb let go, and Remus fell to the ground, a pathetic little crumple.  
  
After his own eyes had dried up, off in the distance, he could hear faint traces of a scratching quill.  
  
  
  
Remus set his shovel down, and wiped his grimy hands clean. Dumbledore had granted him a week of absence, and after a day of confinement, he had finally emerged from the bedroom to find Caleb digging silently. Three hours they spent in quiet, not even gazing at each other while they pursued their solemn task. Now done, they slumped to the ground, filthy as dogs, and just as tired.  
  
You alright? Caleb finally asked, wiping the dirt from his face.  
  
Not really.  
  
At least you're back to yourself. Caleb smiled weakly, and pulled Remus to his feet. Go shower, we're gonna go down to the tavern and get drunk as hell. Keep your hood up and you'll pass for legal. he said simply. Remus questioned nothing, and silently emerged from the bathroom, sodden and dressed properly, a few minutes later. They climbed into the old beaten Muggle pickup truck, and were soon driving along through the drizzling rain.  
  
So what now? Remus finally asked, breaking the constant shriek of the raindrops.  
  
We get drunk.  
  
And after?  
  
Afterwards, we stagger back home, watch TV for a minimum of forty-three minutes, and then fall asleep on the couch.  
  
You have this planned. Remus noted with a small grin.  
  
This is how I live kid. Risking your neck for someone else on a daily basis does a lot to make you a bit odd. To be honest, I'm not doing much good for the people I set free. They end up living on the run or they get caught again later. I'm just there to throw them a second chance. he said quietly, eyes fixed on the foggy road. When I fail, this is what happens. I get drunk, stagger home, fall asleep, and walk around a depressed gob for a few days.  
  
You don't show it. Remus commented, trying to tune something in on the radio.  
  
Doesn't work, don't bother. Caleb said. As for being depressed, hell, I'm always depressed. I have to act responsible and tough for the sake of everyone else. I'm not allowed to care for myself anymore, I gave it up years ago.  
  
That's why you hit me around to stop worrying. Remus realized, biting his lip. You never had the luxury of self-concern.  
  
Bingo. I don't want you ending up like me, you've still got a life left. You're damn lucky to have found friends, it's everything we pray for. he mused thoughtfully. Make sure you hang on to them, no matter what. You loose them, and aye, you'll end up a shabby mess like me.  
  
  
  
Seeya kid, and hey, chipper up. God hasn't given up on you yet.  
  
Bye, thanks for everything. Remus waved as he was pulled back to Hogwarts. He materialized in Dumbledore's office, and was shown to a seat.  
  
Everything alright, I hope? You're back quite early. he inquired, offering a lemon drop.  
  
For the most part, I'm alright. I just had to sort some things out.  
  
Dumbledore started, and smiled warmly. He was looking past Remus' shoulder, and out his office window. Remus turned around, and saw the rest of the Marauders trying to pry their way into the room.  
  
I think you'd better go before they break my door down. Dumbledore laughed. Remus nodded his head, and with a sad sigh, went off with the pack.  
  
McGonnagal said you wouldn't be back for three more days, but we saw you on the Map and-  
  
So what happened, I mean, why were-  
  
We thought you got caught or something-  
  
Sirius, Peter, stuff it for a minute. James interrupted, noticing how quiet and unresponsive Remus was being. After a brief reading of his eyes, he nodded his head, and slung an arm around Remus.  
  
Someone died, right? he asked, and shook his head. I know the feeling.  
  
Sirius and Peter went silent, not knowing at all what to do.  
  
Look, I don't mean to sound all shallow or anything, but we've got Quidditch in ten minutes.  
  
Oh bloody hell, not this again. James groaned. I swear to God, if we have to listen to one more of Corey's awful plays I'm going to whack him broadside with your bat Padfoot. He's driving me _insane_.  
  
Too late.  
  
Go to hell.  
  
Caleb was right, I'm better off here with these morons. Damn it, I hate it when he's right. He's always bloody right.' Remus mused to himself. In the back of his mind, he slowly began the process of pushing Elise away, just as Caleb had done immediately.  
  
  
  
Hey, Moony, there's an owl pecking at the window up in the dorm for you. Sirius said, popping his head out the bedroom door. He let the tiny express owl in, and a letter was dropped right on top of Remus' chess game.  
  
_Rem,  
  
That guy, Caleb, wrote and said one of your friends died. I'm so sorry I can't be there, dammit, you have no idea. Write back, alright? I don't know what to do...  
  
Romolus  
  
  
Don't worry, I'm fine now. Life goes on, right? See you around, and don't _worry_, I'm honestly not that sad about it. Lupin's get over grief quickly you know.  
  
_Remus handed the scratch note back to the owl, and it zoomed right back off into the night.  
  
Everything alright?  
  
I guess, my brother was just checking up on me. At least he remembers about me periodically.  
  
Siblings are useless, trust me. Peter grumbled. My sister's twenty-one and a complete pain in the ass.  
  
Peter, your whole family bites.  
  
And mine's a little different than that. My brother's pretty much the closest thing I have to a father...  
  
Hate the break the happy little family, but we have classes tomorrow, and it's O.W.L. practices abound. James pointed out, and soon enough, everyone had disbanded for bed.  
  
  
  
Will you just shut the hell up?   
  
Snape rolled his eyes, and went back to preparing the practice O.W.L. potion as told. Bane hadn't been merciful at all upon hearing of what happened over the holidays, and indeed, was beginning to be, if possible, even harder on Remus. And the pairing with Snape had been anything but accidental.  
  
I don't know what your problem is Lupin, I never did anything to you. he mused after a moment. You've been the jerk since we met. I kept your secret, I helped you with that goddamn potion-  
  
You've also purposely spread silver powder on me, and on my books, attempted to blow me up on numerous occasions, and kill me, if you will.  
  
Your point? I didn't start the feud. From day one, you've been the bastard.  
  
I don't likely care. he grumbled, thoroughly wishing he had been with the clumsy Peter instead of going through interrogation.   
  
Well excuse me for attempting to act human, God knows all you Gryff's find it against _our_ nature. Snape said as he dumped the diced roots into the boiling cauldron. Because God just forbid you consider us as persons instead of one collective unit. It's always the _Slytherins_ did this, and the _Slytherins_ are bastards and the _Slytherins_ are a bunch of rotting nutters even though I don't know one of them by name! he humphed, snarling slightly as he continued to rant to himself. I'm flat out sick of Black always referring to us as a whole, and Potter's just as bad! I mean for the love of God, the bloke's in love with a blasted Slytherin, he should have more sense than to piss off her entire House.  
  
You do know I'm not even listening. Remus said dryly a moment after the babble died down.  
  
See what I bloody mean? I'm having a mental breakdown, and I'm telling you of all people, and you won't even bloody listen...  
  
Mr. Snape, could you please keep it down? Bane asked calmly from his station by James and Sirius, determined to keep them from blowing anything up today.  
  
Sorry sir. he grumbled, and tipped another batch of ingredients into the concoction. And sorry for the temporary insanity, he said, addressing Remus. Hectic life lately, what with my father and all... Snape trailed off, and made a solemn face.  
  
At least you weren't shot at. the muttered reply came.  
  
Yes, well try living in a household wherein flying Unforgivable's are a regularity. Snape said bleakly, looking up. I'm surprised I'm still alive after all of it. For a brief second, there was no wall between the rivals, and a flare of understanding passed between them. They would later think, though never admit, that they were equal on some turf.  
  
It erupted a moment later when Peter's potion burst into open flame and it was all-for-one to get out of the dungeon.  
  
Peter, this has to be the best moment of your sad little life. Sirius said with a grin, patting him on the back.   
  
I can't _stand_ Bane. he keeps leaning over my shoulder, making me mess up. I'd be doing decent in that class if he didn't always hover about... Peter grumbled, eyes flared angrily.  
  
Well good job, we're proud of you. James agreed, laughing as Bane started screaming. The flames licked their way out of the dungeon doors, while everyone was told in a screaming tone to get back to their Common Rooms.  
  
  
God, this is great. No class for the rest of the day due to an unfortunate accident. Sirius grinned after McGonnagal announced to the fifth-years the dungeons were undergoing investigation.  
  
I hope I don't get caught. Peter squeaked, fully done with his vengeful persona.  
  
You will. Sirius assured. Probably have to clean his classroom for the rest of your years here, if he's in a good mood. Which I doubt he is.  
  
Sirius, leave him alone. James snapped a moment later, pitying the fearful boy. I mean honestly, he blows up so many things on accident I doubt they'll ever consider he did this one on purpose.  
  
Remus nodded his head in confirmation, and Peter settled down slightly.  
  
You sure? My father said he's going to kill me if he gets one more notice from the school.  
  
You'll be fine. Remus said shortly. James shook his head, scooting his chair closer.  
  
I know what it's like to loose part of the family, but I don't know what it's like to be you. I'd give you my pity but you don't need it or want it. But seriously, if there's anything I can do-  
  
No... No, I'm fine. Remus said. James raised an eyebrow skeptically, not believing a word of it.  
  
Really, I'll be alright. There isn't anything I could have done about it, and regardless, I can't spend my whole life longing for something I can't have.  
  
Yeah you can. I have. James shrugged. Sometimes I wish I would have been too little to remember them. Better to not know what you lost than be miserable, right?  
  
No, you're wrong. Memories keep them alive.  
  
Alright, too depressing. Sirius snapped, breaking the moment. Let's go bother some Slytherin's.  
  
Can we bother McGonnagal instead? I need some compensation for that hellish O.W.L. practice she dished us last week. James mused.  
  
Alright then. Marauders, we're off!  
  
  
  
  
Gryffindor had better pull something sharp if they want to take this game back! came the blatantly obvious announcement a week later. Gryffindor was far enough behind point wise that even winning the match wouldn't place them in the Finals. James and Sirius' prank spree had deducted so many points from the Gryffindor standings it would be nearly impossible to win the challenge, and now, even Quidditch ws looking grim. It was clear to everyone in the school that Gryffindor was loosing, and would loose both Cups by a large margin. But with the three main Marauders on the team, there was far too much pride and ego to let that happen.  
  
You have to get some plan going, Corey's screwing us over. James hissed, floating nearby as he kept a watchful gaze for the Snitch.  
  
Well, we need another forty points before we can even try to end this game. Otherwise we won't make it to the Finals at all. Remus mused aloud to no one in particular.  
  
James, you work on stopping Lily, she's inflicting the most damage. Take her out, if you have the guts, or just distract her. Should be easy for you. he said after a moment.  
  
What? Does she like me again or- James started hopefully, but was shoved off.  
  
  
  
Evans, score a goal God dammit! the silver-haired Slytherin Captain bellowed angrily, flying past in a blur as he went to stalk after James. A while later, a short argument ensued between the Slytherin's, and a deadly play was carried out.  
  
Oh! Potter's going to feel that in the morning! the announcer said, wincing as the Beaters bat collided with his face. Professor Carlison, serving as referee, blew his whistle and looked as though he wanted to whack the Slytherin Beater himself for such an outright display of cheating.   
  
You alright? Sirius asked, repairing James' glasses with his wand.  
  
I got hit in the face with a high-powered bat! Bloody hell I'm not ok! James cursed, cupping his freely bleeding nose in his hand. Dammit, this stings like hell! he shouted.  
  
James, you gotta stay in! Remus called from a while away, waiting for Carlison to stop bellowing like a madman at the guilty Beater. Corey, Kayre, Alex, focus everything you have at stopping their Chasers. Morgan, he snapped, taking complete charge of the team. I need you to weasel one more goal in, I'll take care of their Keeper. James, be ready, the Snitch is going to show up by the far left post about halfway up. Feign to our side, then fly like hell.  
  
No one questioned how he knew where the Snitch would be. No one questioned his plays, or dared to defy his orders.  
  
But no one in the crowd remained silent.  
  
In less than a minute, the entire whole of Hogwarts was in a riot. Remus buzzed out of the scoring area and across the field, nearly dove off his broom, and assisted in a quick goal with help from Sirius Bludger work. With the score far enough in advance, James waited, biting his lip and pinching his nose, until the opposing Seeker was watching him. Diving the wrong way and pulling back, he caught the off-guard Snitch to his own amazement, and was pulled down to the ground by an ecstatic Quidditch team.  
  
WE'RE GOING TO THE FINALS! Kayre shouted, jumping Sirius and smacking him to the ground with the force of her hug. James and Remus sniggered, removing the slightly obsessive girl from atop him only after laughing a few moments.  
  
Lupin, maybe you _should_ be captain! Corey admitted as the crowd poured onto the field, Slytherins sending death-threats, everyone else cheering like mad.  
  
  
  
The Gryffindors were an unstoppable force that Friday night, and partied well into the next morning. Even Mcgonnagal dared not try and calm them down. A few of the wandering Lions even said the Hufflepuffs were having their own party, celebrating the elimination of Slytherin. Every Ravenclaw had retired early for a depressing night of knowing that they'd have to face a fully operational team in the Finals.  
  
  
Remus set down his book of plays, and decided to finally join the party.  
  
_Life goes on, that's just the only way to it. Push it away and hope it doesn't come back...  
_  
  
Hey, where's James? Sirius asked around two in the morn, sipping his fourteenth glass of extra-potent, and probably illegal, butterbeer.  
  
Dunno. Want to go wander aimlessly in hopes of finding him, under the falsehood intent of nicking food from the kitchens? Remus suggested with a gitty grin.  
  
Sounds good.  
  
The pair pushed their way out of the bustling and very loud Common Room, cleverly avoiding Peter (who was at the moment being beaten by someone) and into the halls.  
  
Pity we don't know where he put the map. Sirius said in dismay, running out of idea's as to where his friend may be.  
  
Let's split up, we can cover more ground.  
  
He could have found a new passage. he pointed out.  
  
We'll find it. Remus said, smiling. Canine instincts, ever try to home in on them?  
  
Er, how could I-  
  
Padfoot, duh. Remus said, and Sirius smiled wickedly.   
  
So what do I do?  
  
I don't know if it will work for you, but you have some other second-nature traits you don't even notice. Just try and smell him out.  
  
Come again? _Smell_ him out? he blinked.  
  
Never mind... You take the top four floors, I got the bottom three and the dungeons. Meet back at the statue of Melli Aimens in an hour.  
  
Done deal.  
  
  
  
  
For a long while he wandered around, sniffing the air every now and then, until he caught wind of another friend in distress. Jumping a staircase that refused to let him by, he walked slowly about, and found Lily behind a tapestry in a little boarded up tunnel some ways down.  
  
What's wrong? he asked immediately, seeing that she was crying once again. He had an uncanny talent for finding her only when she was distraught and emotionally unstable.  
  
She turned away, covering her head with her hood and trying to ward him off. It reminded him, with a pang of sadness, how Elise used to shy away occasionally during the long hours in the basement surrounded by potions.  
  
Go 'way. she said quietly. Remus leaned in halfway, pulling the tapestry behind him, sitting cross-legged a foot away. He reached out, but she shrank away form his touch. With a sad sigh, he drew back his hand, now fully aware she still did not accept him.  
  
Pissed about Quidditch? he tried.  
  
I'm not so shallow as to cry over a silly game! she barked irritably, not showing her face.  
  
I'm just trying to help. he said defensively, a tone of pain present in his voice.  
  
If you want to help... she started, and then shook her head.  
  
  
  
No. Just go away.  
  
  
  
Please leave! she said loudly, starting to cry again. He grabbed her wrist, gently so she wouldn't scream, and made her look at him. He saw her shadowed eyes, wet, lost, and bit his lip.  
  
You're too pretty to carry such a hurt look. Now tell me what happened so I can help. he asked softly, letting her go.  
  
Will you just leave? she asked after a long silence.  
  
Down here, I saw her running! a voice echoed out in the halls, soon followed by thundering footsteps. Lily stiffened, and backed up against the tunnel.  
  
Lily, what''s going on?  
  
  
  
**A/n- ::Insert evil, maniacal laugh here:: Mwuhahaha. Now wasn't that fun? More will be explained in the next installment, coming soon to a fic near you! Ok, sorry bout that, I've gotten absolutely no sleep lately and I'm so delusional on caffeine I can't think right. So pardon the insanity...  
  
I'd like to issue a belated apology for the all the cliffhangers. I know it's evil of me, but... If I didn't then these chap's would get too long. And besides, keeps ya coming back for more, aye?  
  
More soon, but only if you REVIEW!  
  
  
**Iggie  



	29. Part XXIX Bellator

A/n- Well, here goes another...  
  
  
Disclaimer- Boy am I sick of these. By now I think you know who ones what.  
  
Rating- PG-13 for swearing, but you knew that, didn't you?  
  
Chapter Keywords- Temper temper Mr. Lupin...  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XXIX - Bellator  
  
  
Remus stood up and started to bolt out of the nook, but a hand on his robes stopped him.  
  
You'll be expelled, I won't let you. Lily said after a moment, attempting to collect herself. Despite this, she began to shake, and it wasn't from being cold. Remus pulled her closer, her back to his chest, and wrapped his arms around her.  
  
Lily, please tell me... he said very quietly. After a second, his ears twitched, and he almost sat up straight. Shh, Sirius is walking by. he whispered, remaining silent. Once he had passed completely, he let out a long sigh. Lily rested her head on him, looking up.  
  
I'm sorry.  
  
For what? he questioned.  
  
For being a complete bitch. she said simply, almost smiling. The werewolf thing, I was wrong. You're more caring than everyone else I know despite...  
  
  
  
Yeah, I guess so... she trailed off, and closed her swollen eyes. Remus gazed at the red mark from where she had been hit, and a gash of some sort on the edge bleeding slightly. Reaching up a hand, he ran his finger along the cut, and it healed slowly.  
  
How'd... How'd you do that?  
  
I've been hurting myself since I was nine, some thing's you just have to learn. he replied. Now are you going to tell me who did that to you?  
  
She opened her mouth, and for a moment, he thought she was going to relent.  
  
I... I can't. she stammered, eyes threatening to water. No, I can't, really... You'll just get in trouble, or expelled or something. Or the Ministry would get dragged in, or someone would find out... And he'd come back and... All over again, she broke down in a pathetic heap, crying her eyes out. Remus, what am I going to do? she squeaked.  
  
If you aren't going to tell me I can't help much. he mused.  
  
They're going come after me again. I know it. she whispered, rolling over and crying into his robes. Please don't leave.  
  
Even if he wanted to, there was no defying her pleading emerald eyes. With a slight nod of his head, he laced his fingers to hers, smiling down comfortingly.  
  
Don't worry. We'll wait for a professor to come by. he smirked, and tried to cheer her up. I can smell them you know.  
  
  
  
God, was I this bad when Elise was trying to make me happy?' he thought with a pang of sadness. Since he knew little of how to comfort people, he decided to follow her actions as example.  
  
  
_Even when people die, they're still alive in your mind and soul. Every time a memory influences you, that's a little part of them being alive again. Romolus said quietly, changing the bandage on his brothers head. So you'll live a few decades longer than me. I'll still be with you. As long as you can remember me, I'm not really gone.  
  
_  
The two miserable supposed enemies sat for a while, Remus peeking out every now and then, until Lily fell asleep on his shoulder.  
  
She's not Elise.' his thoughts constantly tried to remind him, though it felt too similar to be different... It just seemed right.  
  
Leaning against her, he too drifted into a half-sleep.  
_  
  
  
_Alright, what's with you two? This is the third time you've been caught in a secluded closet-like alley with her. Sirius said with a smirk a few hours later, having finally tuned his canine abilities to some extent. I've been trying to find you for hours Moony. Prongs was in the showers, someone spilled one of those Slug-Juice prank soda's all over him... Er, now's a bad time, isn't it? he asked with a raise of his eyebrows, seeing the wet streaks down Lily's cheeks. He leaned in closer, peering, and stood back again.  
  
You hit her?  
  
Remus said sharply, helping her to stand up. She pulled her hair from behind her ears, using it to cover the marks and bruises.  
  
Bludger accident?  
  
Already tried that.  
  
Then who did hit her? I know what it looks like, Pete gets smacked around fairly often. Sirius said with a shrug, waiting for them to finish stretching their legs out. So anyway, why were you two in a boarded up tunnel?  
  
I was just keeping her company.  
  
Has anyone been around here? Lily asked suddenly, eyes going wide. Remus put his arm around her again, ignoring the sniggers from Sirius, and sniffed a few times.  
  
Snape has quite a bit, we got bored and tinkered with... Remus knew he was going to say the Map, so he needn't finish the sentence.   
  
Anyone else? he asked. Lily couldn't respond to anything positive towards who hit her, so narrowing the field would be his only choice.  
  
Er... A few Ravenclaw's went to the library at three, Quidditch Beater and a Chaser. Carlison was roaming around in circles, I think he got drunk from our Butterbeer. he said offhand, eliciting a small laugh from Remus. There was a pack of Slytherins roaming all night too. Met with Snape a few times actually, I think... he said, trying to rack his brain. I don't really remember, hell, most of the House just went to bed. One hell of a party, you should have been there Lil. James kept trying to think of a foolproof way to smuggle you in.  
  
I'd have liked very much to have been there. she said quietly. By now Sirius had completely forgotten about the bruises, and was busy rambling on about something with Peter and the seventh years.  
  
I can find out who the group was, alright? I'll figure out on my own who did it and turn them in. That way you can honestly say do didn't tell me. he told her as Sirius departed to get an early breakfast from the house elves. But is there anything at all you can tell me that will help? The only ones we can really rule out are the Gryffindors.  
  
I can't... Remus, just forget about it, please? I don't want you getting in a lot of trouble over me. she said with mild strain.  
  
Do you want to go back to your dorm? Or... Yeah, not safe. he mumbled, pausing at a large staircase intersection. Well, we could go to the Gryffindor Common Room, everyone but James and them are probably asleep.  
  
If McGonnagal finds me there I have to go back. I don't want to be alone. she said, almost to herself.  
  
Alright then. How about we go play some Quidditch? No, scratch that, I'm almost dead as it is... Care to just flop out by the lake?  
  
  
  
  
  
As it turned out, it was raining outside. Neither seemed to mind, and were content to just lay on the damp banks and watch the rippling water for a few hours. Lily, slightly back to herself, had curled up next to Remus, who was too busy thinking to really notice her presence. Somewhere, in the shadowy banks of his memory, he knew about concealment curses and one particular hex, but he just couldn't think of the incantation. Or reversal.  
  
Lily, we need to tell a Professor about this pretty soon. he said, giving up on the mental recall.   
  
Who? Er... Not Bane, he'll go to the Slytherins and make it all worse. No one else would believe-  
  
Remus said instantly. I know he's not your favourite person, mine either, but hell, he's an ex-Auror. You saw yesterday how nuts he gets about violence, even in Quidditch... He can keep his good eye on you, watch a little. And he can tell me so I can kill that little- Remus stopped himself, took a deep breath, and apologized non-verbally to the frightened Slytherin.  
  
What about Dumbledore?  
  
He can't help, he's not an in-class teacher. This way we have some extra help-I'm not in Defense with you, unfortunately... Good thing we have four other subjects together.  
  
I feel like such a fool. Lily confessed, head on his thigh. It's horrible, being defenseless. I want to stop this but there isn't anything I can do... And no I'm not going to tell you. So stop giving me that look.  
  
You shouldn't have to face fear at school, let alone Hogwarts. This is the _last_ place you should be insecure.  
  
How do you know so much about the world? I mean, you're barely older than I, and for fact, you're a guy. By all standards you should be some stuck-up egotistical idiot obsessing over the pretty girls and newest broom models. she said, looking up at him and the foggy rain clouds high above their outpost under a willow tree.  
  
My childhood was denied entirely. I lived on the streets, stealing meals and becoming little more than a common thief. he said. Having to raise yourself, constantly on the run from authorities, it does a lot to change your mentality I guess. A friend of mine always used to say I was thrice my biological age, and now I'm beginning to believe her.  
  
Must've been awful. she mused, shuddering slightly.  
  
I don't think about it anymore. What's gone is gone, things past cannot bother me now. My brother, his philosophy was to live for the day and next, to never dwell on what can't be changed. I have a better life now. I've got Sirius and James, and you.  
  
She smiled a little, and closed her swirling green eyes for a second, reflecting on his words.  
  
Thanks for being there.  
  
Let's get up to the castle and track down Carlison, before someone tracks you down first.  
  
  
  
Well I'll be damned to hell. Carlison muttered, shaking his head in an almost amused fashion. He let go of Lily's wrist, tisking to himself, pocketing his wand. Damned ot hell...  
  
What is it, sir? Remus asked, for Lily was shaking again.  
  
She took a nasty curse I believe, without realizing it. Real old Dark magic, something fairly common from my initial training. They don't teach it anymore, new methods were devised that could be more reliable than this... It'll make you're injuries impossible to fix magically, to some extent. he said after a long pause.   
  
Can it be lifted?  
  
Only by the one who cast the spell.  
  
Remus put a hand on Lily's shoulder, snapping her back from her own little world.  
  
Any way we can find out who did it? She made a personal vow not to tell anyone... Too scared.  
  
And for a good reason, hell, I'd be frightened myself at that age if some bastard came after me. You watch out for yourself. he sid to Lily. The only way to find out really, I'd say, is wait and ambush them, Mr. Lupin. the young Professor said with a crooked grin.  
  
Set a trap, and use her as bait? Sir, with all due respect, that's not wise, nor safe. She was beaten badly, though it doesn't show as much. I've been a Healer since I could hold a wand.  
  
In your...  
  
She knows.  
  
he continued without changing his gaze. I would assume such. And knowing of your little boost, I'd say you're more than capable of handling anything that comes your way.  
  
Remus, you don't have to help-  
  
Yes I do. Sir, can you keep this between the three of us?  
  
he interrupted.  
  
  
  
Potter, Black, and that little twit Pettigrew. Undoubtedly you're going to tell them. It's inevitable and predictable. You four are determined to just outright tear up what is left of this castle and its persons.  
  
Remus cracked a smile, and nodded at the professor with whom he was slowly starting to respect.  
  
Maybe not. Some things don't need to be told.  
  
And yes, Mr. Lupin, this will stay between us. If they entire staff was on guard it would put Ms. Evans at a higher risk... he trailed off, and pulled Remus aside for a minute.  
  
Look, you being a Gryffindor makes this difficult. You have to stay by her as much as possible, but without attracting unwanted attention. Scare the people who did it and they'll be more careful about striking. Judging from your record, I'd say you have enough wits about you to figure something out.  
  
Yes sir.  
  
And both of you, he said as they were leaving. Study for the O.W.L.'s. Now more than ever.  
  
Remus knew what he meant, and dreaded the prospect. War seemed so distant, an absurd idea... Now it was hitting him, and Lily, full in the face.  
  
  
  
We've narrowed it, for who could have been there. A list of six Slytherins and four Hufflepuffs that were roaming around that night-  
  
James, Remus... Guys, it's alright. He hasn't come after me by now, I think it's safe enough. she said with a forced smile. We have our O.W.L.'s in two weeks, I think you should all be diverting your studies elsewhere.  
  
The two looked at each other, shrugged, and smiled at Lily.  
  
Not gonna happen. they both agreed.  
  
In my opinion it's either Snape or another Slytherin. None of the Hufflepuffs would have any reason to do anything to you. James remarked, idly stirring a potion Bane had assigned them to make, though the Marauders had done something much similar for Animagism process.  
  
What I want to know is why the Hufflepuffs are even socializing with that crowd, no offense to you Lily, but not many of the Snakes can be considered mild-mannered loyalists. Remus said.  
  
Lupin, come here for a minute.  
  
He looked up from his list, and found Snape peering at him, already done with the project. After a look back to a puzzled James, he went over the lone cauldron.  
  
Look, you don't want to meddle in their business, it isn't safe. he said quietly, looking around rapidly to make sure none of his House mates were watching.   
  
You know something about Lily? Remus questioned, using every ounce of his self control to keep the wolf at bay.  
  
Lily and Potter will get themselves involved in a situation they don't want to be in if you keep this up. he replied, ignoring the previous. Nothing's as it appears anymore, not with the war going on-  
  
There's no war.  
  
Dumbledore boards you up inside, plaguing you will false illusions of his perfect little world. the boy sad solemnly. You of all people should know the world is never as righteous as it appears. Outside these walls, in the shadowed alleys, there's a war.  
  
And why should I trust you?  
  
I'm part of it. he said very quietly. Look, I don't know why, but I'm trying to save your ass here. Take my advice and just stay out of our business.  
  
  
  
  
Lily, can you tell me what he was saying before?  
  
He'll find out, I'm not going to say anything... I just have this sick feeling that he'd find out. she said, hanging her head again.  
  
Well, he wasn't alone. Tell me what the others were saying. Remus added after a moment of thought. Lily smiled, and nodded her head.  
  
A lot about the war, and a lot about taking sides and staying true to my blood... I told them I was a Muggle-born and they laughed. He hit me once then... she stopped, closing her eyes for a moment. I tried to leave and they threw me back to the ground. There were maybe six of them, so I couldn't do anything to help myself. After that there was more talk about loyalties and one kept mentioning a master or something, then I blacked out.  
  
When did you wake up?  
  
Three of them were still there, one was kicking me in the side. Then someone shouted down the hallway, and they bolted. You came right after I crawled into the passage. she said. Shaking his head, Remus leaned back on the grass, looking up at the night sky.  
  
I'll never understand the world Lily. Everything is just so messed up...  
  
Stuff like this is normal for you, isn't it? she asked. There was no stopping her talent for reading people's eyes and knowing what was wrong.  
  
Yeah, a bit... I'm sick of it. To borrow the words of an old friend, it's hard to wake up every morning. With shit like this, hell, sometimes I wish I weren't alive. There'd be no more pain then.  
  
Being able to hurt is what makes us human. Lily said philisophically, laying down next to him. They watched the rippling reflection of the sliver moon on the lake, until the giant squid surfaced.  
  
Life's only worth living if you still have something that can be grieved over. If you were so alone, and so lost that you couldn't cry, that's when it's over. she mused. I still have a lot to go for, and you too, no matter what's happened before. I won't try to probe your mind, but I'll try to understand it. I can only imagine what's happened... It sort of makes me feel better.  
  
How so?  
  
You've gone through so much, I can tell by how you act, and yet you're still strong. So a few psychotic bullies got pissed after a Quidditch loss, and I happened to be there.  
  
Lily, they could have done a lot worse.  
  
But you came along, and I'm all right now. I don't want you to get all worked up over something that isn't a problem anymore.  
  
I care about you, he said, surprised the words were passing his lips. I'm supposed to worry.  
  
As long as you're around there's no need to worry. I don't.  
  
With a smile, she curled up on him, eyes shut, mind at ease. A little voice in the back of Remus' mind was trying to yell, but it was lost in a swirl of thoughts.  
  
You know, James will kill me if he sees us out here. he pointed out. And we do have a very bad reputation of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Closets, for example.  
  
Who said this is the wrong place, or the wrong time?  
  
Oh God.'  
  
  
  
  
Any news on her? Carlison asked quietly, not looking up from the papers he was grading. Remus was serving his detention for a Marauders prank, and unfortunately, it had been his turn to take the blame. They had developed a system, a cycle, of who would serve the punishment in shift.  
  
No point in all of us being locked up somewhere. We need to study for once. James had wisely said. So now he was scrubbing the splattered floors and gum-covered desks of the Defense room, as requested by Carlison.  
  
She said no ones been bothering her, and I know she's honest. I can tell when she lies.  
  
A good skill to have there. the ex-Auror murmured to himself. Setting down his toothbrush and bottle of cleaning solution, Remus sat himself atop a desk, and cleared his throat.  
  
  
  
What's the situation outside?  
  
  
  
The progressing war, sir.  
  
Carlison's face fell grim, and he nodded his head shortly.  
  
Dumbledore's a fool if he thinks he can keep it hidden for so long. he admitted. It's not looking good, the Dark forces are expanding at an alarming rate. I'd say, in a well-calculated estimate, that we'll be in full-scale battle by the time you hit eighteen.  
  
Remus pursed his lips, face blank of any emotion.  
  
Don't look so sorry, there isn't anything you can do about it. It's already in the school.  
  
  
  
Their parents get involved, and so the children are forced to take up the same ideals.  
  
_Yes, well try living in a household wherein flying Unforgivable's are a regularity.  
  
_See, you know it yourself. Carlison said with a slight smirk, reading Remus' face like a book.  
  
Why is everything in this world so messed up?  
  
The human species is imperfect. One makes the wrong choice, others follow, and soon, thousands are dying each day. Until we can really learn off of our mistakes, we'll have to stand strong and fight for what we believe.  
  
No matter what the price. Remus said to himself.  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Alright, notice time. Wow. I didn't think you guys would get very angry about the fic-dropping topic, but well... I stand corrected. I must repeat, I MIGHT NOT drop it. There's a high possibility I may continue as planned. But if not, well, chapter 33 will be posted, and that's IT. Yes, that means no proper ending at all. I hate to resort to that but life has been shit lately and I'm loosing my mind, I can't write anymore. I'm really sorry...  
  
But really, don't get all mad just yet. As said, I may continue. So, keep your fingers crossed...  
  
**Iggie


	30. Part XXX Nare

A/n- Double post, ooooooh baby! Here ya go.   
  
Disclaimer- I own nothing, so nutters to Rowling and Co. She'd BETTER get that book out soon. &#^@  
  
Rating- PG-13 for language.  
  
Chapter Keywords- O.W.L.'s... Poor blokes, we all know the misery of standardized testing. :-/  
  
God that's wrong.  
V  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XXX - Nare  
  
  
  
McGonnagal said as the last grain of sand slipped through the timer. Everyone set their wands down, most groaning with disappointment, though the Marauders were all quite cocky. They had aced the demonstration part of the exam, and all but Peter knew they had done well on the written portion. After their work, a task of changing a sliver of wood into a rabbit, had been collected, they were dismissed from their first test.  
  
God, that was so _easy_! Sirius said with a long sigh of relief. I got myself all worked up over nothing.  
  
Padfoot helped a bit there, didn't he? James asked with a grin. Noticing Peter's remorseful frown, he pat him on the back, and tried to cheer him up.  
  
Come on, you did pretty good on the demo. You're written part couldn't of been that bad.  
  
Yes it was! he groaned, walking off to the Common Room to mope until they had to go to Potions,  
  
So what're we going to do now. Go cram or go prank?  
  
With identical grins, James and Sirius dashed off, leaving a fatigued Remus on his own.  
  
  
Hey, what do we have next?  
  
he told the slightly annoying Gryffindor fifth year girl. With mild amusement, he realized he had been having classes with her for three years now, and still didn't know her name.  
  
she said, and bounced off with her friends.  
  
So, what to do for an hour? he mused to himself.  
  
Talking to yourself again Lupin?  
  
What do you want now, here to proclaim more about the secret lives of all the evil students? Remus said dryly as Severus raised an eyebrow.  
  
More or less.  
  
Remus gapped.  
  
Half of my House is involved in or knows of the rising Dark forces. There's been meetings in the fifth dungeons fairly often, and I overhear things in the Common Room that would be of great interest to the Ministry. he said casually, as if he were decalring the weekly weather.  
  
But... Why-  
  
There are people out for you, and your friends. Evans knows this well. Just watch your back Lupin, for your sake and hers.  
  
  
  
  
  
I swear to God if that bell doesn't ring I'm going to loose my mind.' Remus thought, staring up at the slow-moving clock hopefully. Already he had snapped his quill in frustration, scratched a line on the desk, and dropped three vials. He didn't need confirming notices from the Ministry telling him he would barely pass, all because Bane had been glaring over his shoulder the entire duration of the exam.  
  
Finally, after what seemed hours of waiting, the bell releasing them to dinner echoed through the silent room. There was a chaotic whirlwind of Gryffindors and Ravenclaw's, all pushing to seek exit from their prison.  
  
Free at last! Sirius said dramatically.   
  
Did you do it? Pete pipped, smiling wickedly.   
  
You doubt my ability?  
  
Oh God, what'd you pull this time? Remus asked with a laugh.  
  
We bet him, on the Marauders code, to pour a little boosted laxative into Bane's coffee.  
  
Oh God... And?  
  
And what, you think I couldn't do it? Simple. Childish almost. Sirius said with a conceited smile. And I'll have you know I charmed it too. They won't react until dinner, so we can get a front-row seat to watch the whole thing.  
  
  
  
I know I am.  
  
Remus whacked him across the head, laughing merrily as they rushed to the rapidly filling Great Hall.  
  
  
God, not another one... Peter groaned as Dumbledore sat back down. He had just announced he would be holding a dance for the fifth, sixth, and seventh years in a weeks time, right after the O.W.L.'s would be finished.  
  
What're you talking about? This is great. Sirius said brightly, already looking about the Hall for possible selections. Much to his amusement, Alex had taken a Bludger to the face at practice, and was now no problem for inhibiting his date choices.  
  
Yes, well some of us aren't large and over-zeleous magnets when it comes to girls. Remus grumbled. A small little round of agreement passed through all the Gryffindors, making many of the girls giggle.  
  
Aye, chipper up. You'll find someone. James remarked as he began to stare off at Lily in a terribly pathetic manner.  
  
Lily.  
  
Slytherins.  
  
I'm gonna go eat with Lily, seeya. he said quite suddenly, picking up his gold plate and making a seat for himself by the fire-haired Snake.  
  
Oh, hi. she said almost dryly, having recently told him there was no need to keep watch. He half-glanced down the table, as not to be seen, at the pack of sixth and seventh years whom he knew to be the criminals.  
  
I think I know who did it. Or at least a group... he said out of the corner of his mouth, biting into his sandwich. Lily's eyes went wide, and she fidgeted nervously.  
  
  
  
A little help. he concluded as his gaze fell on the isolated Severus Snape, who was at the moment reading a very large book on advanced potion brewing.  
  
Should we go to Dumbledore? she asked very quietly, though smiling to ward off any suspicion.  
  
Carlison, he'll nail them. He can get them in class or something... Come on, come sit with us. Malfoy's staring at me again. he said, and pulled Lily up. She grabbed her sandwich before she was pulled to the other table, welcomed by a very red-faced and uncollected James.  
  
Does he ever give up? she laughed quietly.  
  
Nope. He's not going to give up until you marrys him. Sirius said with mild honesty.  
  
  
  
I'm going to loose my mind...' Remus thought to himself, trying to rack his brain for every useless date and name he could think of. The History of Magic exam, having no practical part, was simply a very thick packet with pointless questions and pointless problems.  
  
Me too.  
  
Remus dropped his quill, and turned around sharply. You automatically failed the test if you said anything to anyone at all. Sirius, who was sitting right next to him, coughed once, and smiled.  
  
Dog thing.  
  
Remus could barely hear it, the tiny whimpering noise that was beyond human range. With an amused nod, he picked up his instrument and went back to something about Sir Charles von Lortgan of something.  
  
Who's Smorey Pete? Sirius asked.  
  
No clue. And do your own work, I'm not gonna help you cheat. he answered perfectly, Binns not looking up from his dusty book.  
  
War hero, gotcha.  
  
Rolling his eyes, he tried to distract himself from the canine ranting, but found it terribly difficult once he was listening.  
  
Blast, I think we were going over that when I was trying to charm his robes pink. Sirius mumbled, randomly filling in one of the bubbles and flipping the page. Ah, that day was good. Peter realized a bit too late the Slytherins had hexed his hair to change colour everytime he spoke.  
  
Remus laughed, and quickly turned it to a slight cough, blushing as the class turned to stare at him.  
  
Sirius, shut up, you're gonna get me in trouble. the werewolf snapped in his native tongue.  
  
Tell me who... No, I can't even pronounce the name. Eh, I'll make up some junk about him inventing or discovering something... Always works. he mused, and went back to his work.  
  
  
God, that was worse than the Potions exam. James muttered, eyes blank as he staggered out of the room. So many numbers...  
  
At least you didn't have Sirius whispering to you the entire two hours. Remus grumbled.  
  
I never heard you two.  
  
Just... Never mind. Sirius covered, and started to chuckle. Look at Pete.  
  
The small and troublesome boy was dragging himself out of the classroom, with a look on his face that could only be compared to a deer caught in the headlights of a speeding truck. James started laughing for a few minutes, but then decided he was too anxious to get to dinner and watch Bane go through their planned torment.  
  
  
  
All in all, a decent day. Sirius concluded in the Common Room, still smirking from watching Bane dash off every three minutes for the toilets. James and Peter nodded their agreement, and went on to discuss the dance. Off in a corner, Remus was busy with the Marauders Map, filling in another entire floor from memory with one of the last Zonko pencils.  
  
What the-  
  
Malfoy and Snape were alone in the main dungeon room again, and it didn't look friendly. The little black blur labeled Snape kept dashing off to the door, only to be dragged back by the larger Malfoy.  
  
Guys, come look at this. he called, waving them over.  
  
Score! Snape's getting his ass kicked! James said in delight.  
  
We have to help him-  
  
Are you feeling ill? Maybe that last O.W.L. drained your mind of all intelligent thought. You just suggested that we _help_ Snape. Sirius pointed out.  
  
Look, the Slytherin's down there might be the ones who hit Lily-  
  
No more was said, as a red-faced and very pissed James ran full-force out of the Common room. The fact that he didn't have the Map, Cloak, or any directions to the secret floor didn't seem to damper his anger.  
  
Peter, you stay back. If anyone asks, we're in the kitchens nicking some food. Remus said, stuffing the map in his pocket. He looked more than happy to comply, and sat himself down with a thick Charms book by the fire. After Sirius had snatched the Invisibility Cloak, the pair ran off in the correct direction.  
  
  
Stay behind for a moment, alright? You're not exactly his favourite person in the world. Remus said quietly, taking another look at the map. Oh dammit...  
  
  
  
Nothing, here, go find James. Most of them are gone, so there isn't any trouble. Go track them down, hex them or something. You know more of those than I do. he said, and Sirius ran off happily. Any chance to curse a Slytherin was reason to celebrate in his book.  
  
Are you two alright?  
  
Snape, face swelling rapidly on one side, shrugged lightly and turned the other way. The little dot that had been concealed before lunged forward, hugging Remus to no tomorrow.  
  
What the hell happened?  
  
He came after me again, right after dinner let out. Lily said in a very shaky voice. S-Severus was with me, and... And he stood up for me, and... she trailed off, closing her eyes. It was horrible.  
  
Remus looked back at Snape, who was mopping up a trail of blood from his nose and cheek. It wasn't like the coward to take a beating to help someone he didn't agree with on any terms.  
  
Why'd you help? he asked, putting a hand on Lily's back to calm her down.  
  
They're a disgrace to our House, and to human beings. I advised you before to never piss me off, and he did such. It was not for friendship or anything at all, not her personal safety. She knows this. he said coldly, holding his sleeve to his dripping nose. After all I've seen in my life I'm thoroughly sick of people like them.  
  
Like your father, right? Remus asked quietly. Snape shut his eyes tight, and took in a breath.  
  
Yes. People like my father. he said shortly. Take Evans out of here, Avery and his gang will most likely come back to do more damage.  
  
I can go myself... she started.  
  
And Lupin, make sure no one sees you. They're already trying to do you in as well, and if you're seen helping her out it'll be over. There's a fine sum offered for your head.  
  
Funny, both sides want me dead. The Ministry and the Dark... Loose-loose situation. That's my life in a nutshell. he grumbled, checking that no one was around.  
  
Just watch yourself. And tell the decent Avery to watch his head before his brother claims it. he added.  
  
Remus said with a small nod of gratitude.  
  
I didn't do anything. Snape replied, letting Remus know this was to be forgotten. They silently agreed, and thus the entire incident ceased to have happened.  
  
  
  
You alright now? he asked a few minutes later, in an old abandoned classroom on the fifth floor that even Filch didn't know existed.  
  
Just pissed.  
  
He put his hand on her face again, fingers closing the small tear of skin.  
  
What caused that? Remus noticed. It was the same gash as before, and exact to the one Snape had. Lily shrugged, and pursed her lips.  
  
I don't think he's going to come after me again. she declared. If that slime even comes near me I'll scream bloody murder and go straight to Dumbledore.  
  
I should have in the first place, it would have saved you the trouble. he muttered a moment later after bumping her where she had been bruised.  
  
No, you did the right thing. This way we can exact our revenge to our own personal delight. she said with a mischievous grin, rubbing her hands together.  
  
You frighten me sometimes. he chuckled.  
  
Want to go outside?  
  
It's midnight.  
  
We don't have O.W.L.'s tomorrow though, it's a break day.  
  
I was gonna go to bed, all that thinking wore me out. he replied.  
  
Then we can fall asleep outside. she said with an innocent smile.  
  
James is definitely going to kill you.' Remus' subconscious warned. That is _not_ a just-friends look.'  
  
Oh shut up. he whispered, taking Lily's hand.  
  
**  
  
A/n- Too much fun to resist, you know. Next one coming soon.  
:-D   
  
LEAVE A REVIEW DARNIT!  
  
  
Thanks for the outrage and flames everyone! Really! I'm glad to know you all give a rats ass about me continuing... Well, more news next chap, ok?  
  
**Iggie  
  
Title meaning- Nare: To sail  
  
  
**Darragh Tieraneux- If you're reading this, thanks for reviewing so often! I feel special.**


	31. Part XXXI Concealment

A/n- Yes, another one. I have to cut this thing down or it's gonna hit 40 chapters...  
  
Disclaimer- JKR and all of those other corporate monkeys own it all...  
  
Rating- PG-13 for, er, yeah...  
  
Chapter Summary- ::smiles innocently::  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XXXI - Concealment  
  
  
  
  
  
Well, I think it's safe to assume you two are going to the dance together.  
  
Remus choked on his breath, and dared not to open his eyes.  
  
I told you.' his muse reminded in a cocky voice. Now you're in for it.'  
  
Lily said, amazingly calm. She smiled up at Sirius, who in turn shrugged, and sat down against the willow tree.  
  
So, er, how did this... Come about? he asked curiously. A very mortified Remus bit his lip, and turned the other way, face a brilliant shade of red.  
  
Why are you out here? he finally asked.  
  
James got busted for trying to kill some Slytherin, so I had nothing to do. I was just wondering who was-  
  
Can you leave? Lily asked politely, not moving from her place against Remus. On the ground. In the dark.  
  
Oh, er... Sorry. I'll, uh, just be off then. Sirius said, standing up and walking away quickly. Lily started laughing, and rolled to one side.  
  
Ahhh that was too funny. Sirius, embarrassed, who'd have thought? she joked.  
  
So, um... Where were w-  
  
  
  
Remus wandered into the Common Room an hour or so later to find his friends waiting for him. Swallowing, he stepped through the portal, and just waited for James to flip out.  
  
I don't get it, I didn't do any _lasting_ damage... James mumbled angrily.  
  
Remus took a seat, guessing that Sirius hadn't said anything yet.  
  
Bane's making me clean the dungeons, the night of the dance! I mean, ok, so smashing his head against the wall wasn't a bright idea, but still- he grumbled, arms crossed. I was gonna ask Lil if she'd go with me.   
  
Oh, ab- Sirius started, but Remus left him a canine growl that the others never heard. He rolled his eyes, and decided to shut up for the time being.  
  
So now I'm going to be scrubbing floors all night, when I should be out having fun. he whined, kicking his feet around angrily.  
  
Maybe you'll finish in time to still come. Peter said, flipping a page in his book.  
  
Not a chance, not with Bane. He'll just find something else for me to do.  
  
Remus frowned, feeling slightly guilty about lying, but he reminded himself he hadn't said anything. With a shrug and an easy mind, he went up to take a cold shower.  
  
  
  
During the Charms exam, Remus ended up sitting right by Snape. The bruises he had taken were clearly visible on his pale face, and the small cut on his cheek stood out like a neon sign.  
  
This really is war on every level.' he mused, filling in a row of bubbles accordingly. Three years, Carlison said. Hell, what's to become of this world?'  
  
  
_Hey little brother,  
  
You're coming to stay with us this summer whether you like it or not. I haven't seen you in so long... We're picking you up at Kings Cross, and no trying to evade. You know I'll find you. Hope all is going well, and good luck with the O.W.L.'s... Don't fall asleep, whatever you do. For some reason the professors seem to punish rather harsh if you drool on your test packets. Well, anyway, all's well here.  
  
Full moon tomorrow, just a reminder.  
  
Romolus  
  
_ Remus muttered, sending Viator off with a strip of bacon and sip of juice.  
  
  
  
Remus said, and Sirius knew immediately by the tone of his voice what was tomorrow.  
  
Damn, that'll be hard, we have our Herbology exam at five, that won't be over for quite some time. I mean, Shorron will let you out early, but not us. Sirius said.  
  
I know, and it's gonna be hard going back to the old routine... he mumbled, now more depressed than ever. He tucked the note in his pocket, biting his lip thoughtfully.  
  
Maybe some misplaced laxative can fix that problem... Wouldn't be hard to sneak out if Shorron was running off to the John every ten minutes. Sirius pointed out, smiling wickedly.  
  
You wouldn't...  
  
Care to place some money on that?  
  
I'm broke, remember?  
  
Damn. Well, worry not. Either that or we can time some rockets to explode or start a small fire in the next-over greenhouse.  
  
You will be my downfall, my friend... No doubt about it.  
_  
Sirius, how... How could you? Lily and James, how could you betray them? How could you ruin us?  
  
_Snapping out of his daydream, Remus shrugged, and went back to devouring his breakfast.  
  
  
  
Sirius growled, wand up his sleeve. Remus nodded very slightly, still filling out the last bubble on his test, as the plan was carried out. without warning, a crash rang from the next greenhouse, and Professor Shorron began barking out orders to stay still and complete the test. She busted out, busying herself with the small fire, while the students all spilled outside, yelling and cheering as one. Sirius slipped away to a hidden passage to wait.  
  
Up at the school, Madame Pomfrey was just beginning to come and collect Remus when she noticed the flame. Walking a bit faster, she shot an accusing glare at the boy, and led him back to the school unnoticed.  
  
What happened there? she asked stiffly on the way to the Willow.  
  
Something exploded I guess. Didn't see anything... Probably the Mongolian Whopping Vines, they always cause trouble. he said with a shrug, taking a tree brach as they neared the massive and violent tree. He prodded the small knot, and bid good night to the nurse as he dashed into the tunnel. As Madame Pomfrey turned to go, she cast her blind side, and never saw the black beast slip in after.  
  
  
  
So how long? Sirius asked, taking the liberty of undoing the safe for Remus. He set his wand and shoes inside, along with a quill, before lying back on the shredded bed.  
  
Couple minutes I'd say. he estimated, judging from the intensity of his headache.  
  
came the small reply. So, er, not to be nosey or anything, but... Moony, what's it like?  
  
  
  
Yeah, if you don't mind me asking, I mean...  
  
There isn't a whole lot I can compare it to, nothing you'd have experienced. Well, it hurts hell of a lot more than any Quidditch accidents you've had, and I'm sure they're plenty. It's agonizingly slow, everything stretching... Feels kind of like being pulled apart by every limb all at once. More or less, I'm ripped from my body, and I trust it's nothing like Animagism. he said. He noticed that Sirius was almost shaking, eyes shut, mind trying to block out the images.  
  
Nothing at all. he mumbled a minute later. For me it's just as natural as breathing, I just think about this, and it happens. God, I can't believe... Sirius shook his head, still in awe over lycanthropy.  
  
You'd best change Padfoot, the moon's about to come out. Remus warned. With a slight nod, Sirius changed, in a blink, to his canine counterpart.  
  
  
  
You alright Moony?  
  
Remus tried to roll over on his back, but found it too painful to move. He instead opened his eyes, and tilted his head up so he could see. Sirius was crouched over him with a look of startling worry on his face.  
  
I'm fine. Remus managed to squeak out.  
  
You're a horrible liar... Can you sit up?  
  
Remus said after trying again to move. Sirius helped him to his back, and moved him up to the bed fairly easily.  
  
he asked, unlocking the safe.  
  
Yeah, thanks. was the weak reply. Clutching at his side, Remus winced, and pushed himself sitting.  
  
Last moon of spring, always was one of the worse... he grumbled.  
  
Do you need anything, I mean... You don't look too great. Do you think you're sick again, or-  
  
Definitely not. he assured. Whole different league of pain... I'll be fine once Madame Pomfrey gets down here. Which reminds, you better get out of here unless you want to get caught.  
  
Are you positive you're alright? Sirius asked again, heading out the door.  
  
Yes, now leave.  
  
  
  
Padfoot, just go! She's coming down.  
  
Sirius dashed out of the tunnel, managing to hide in the brush right before the nurse came into the clearing.  
  
Oh, you're a mess... Better get you cleaned up, there's that social tonight, isn't there? Madam Pomfrey asked with a tisk, trying to get him to stand. Instead, she slipped her arms under him, and Remus was carried all the way to the school in darkness.  
  
Make sure you're there for breakfast! Sirius howled, galloping along behind them. Remus smiled back, nodding his head as he was hauled inside the dormant school.  
  
  
How you managed to pull a muscle inside there is beyond me. Madame Pomfrey muttered, offering a few vials of unpleasant potion. Remus hid his guilty smile, not letting on that he had ben running around the Forbidden Forest all night with a midnight companion.  
  
Yeah, well, you're not a werewolf. You have no idea what it's like. he said, which shut her up immediately. She healed a few cuts, and sent him on his way back to the dorm for an hours worth of sleep.  
  
  
  
Sirius, will you shut up? You look fine. Peter grumbled. Sirius had been complaining over the past hour that he still looked like crap.  
  
Yeah really, you sound like my brother did before his wedding. Remus commented, chuckling at the memory of the misplaced boxers.  
  
You're brother's only a year and a half older than you though...  
  
That didn't stop him. was the simple reply. Remus surveyed himself in the mirror, frowning. Second hand dress robes and scoffed shoes didn't even compare to the state of his tangled and messy mop of hair.  
  
Eh, you don't look too bad. Sirius commented.   
  
Why not take James' robes? He's not using them, I doubt he'd mind. Peter said from the bathroom, also trying to tame his hair.  
  
Too small, I tried. He's pretty scrawny.  
  
You're just bulky. Sirius pointed out in all truth. I'm surprised you aren't chubby like Pete, what with how much you eat and all. Again, I stress the fact... If I ever piss you off, _please_ give me a head start. he added, smirking.  
  
  
  
Ah shit, what time is it? Alex asked from the corner, rushing about.  
  
Uhhhhh, ten till seven.  
  
Shit! I'm supposed to meet Carrie in five minutes!  
  
Sirius' eyes went wide, and he spun around. Carrie _Dorlian_? he gapped. The _seventh_ year?  
  
She's only sixteen.  
  
Jesus Christ, you nailed a seventh year! Sirius stammered.  
  
You're going with he best looking girl in the school, don't complain. the Chaser reminded. This seemed to cheer Sirius up slightly, but his ego was still stressed.  
  
So Pete, do revel who you're going with. Sirius asked after a moment.  
  
He mumbled something incomprehensible, and scurried out of the dorm.  
  
We'll find out eventually! Sirius called. He sighed, and sat down on James bed, looking around the quiet room.  
  
This is going to suck with James gone... I'll have to wreak havoc all by myself, given you have a date this time. Which you do, don't you?  
  
Come off it.  
  
Oh, James is gonna _murder_ you! he laughed. Really, he's so pissed he didn't get to ask her! All through practice he kept complaining...  
  
Well he isn't going to know if _someone_ doesn't blab it off. Remus said, in such a tone that Sirius stopped laughing right away.  
  
You can't possibly believe you can hide it from him, do you? he asked, blinking. My God, you are completely mental! Barking mad.  
  
Why the hell is everything I do in life wrong? I mean, Jesus, it's pretty damn illegal for me to even _be_ here, did you know that? The Ministry had laws against me being in public schools. Dumbledore's risking his job so I can try to live like a normal kid. Remus snapped miserably. So why, of all things, is it wrong for me to like someone? I mean God... Everything in my life is quite simply screwed to hell.  
  
Eh, don't worry about it. James'll get over her eventually.  
  
Remus closed his eyes, and for some reason, saw a brief image of a chapel.  
  
I don't think he will. Which leaves me, yet again, screwed to hell.  
  
  
  
  
Half an hour into the dance, Remus had finally given in and let himself be dragged to the busy dance floor. It hadn't occurred to him before that he didn't know at all how to dance.  
  
Just relax. Lily said with a shrug as the band started a dreadfully slow song.  
  
Uh, how about we go get some-  
  
His sentence was cut off, and following the very firm lead, he tried to calm down and just dance. It was very hard, what with Lily hanging off of him and half the great Hall staring at him like he was a beast. He caught a glimpse of Sirius, leading a crazy waltz with his laughing date, cutting through the floor wildly.  
  
The song drawled on, all the while Remus shuffled his feet, unsure of himself, avoiding the glares from Gryffindor and Slytherin alike.  
  
James is going to kill me. he muttered to himself.   
  
  
Overcoming his dislike of dancing, let alone publicly, he eventually began to have fun. Lily was being completely wild, though a small brush when some Slytherin's came by left her silent for some time.  
  
A small feeling in the air caused Remus to loose his voice as well.  
  
he muttered with wide eyes, looking at the doors as they split open.  
  
he said, taking her by the hand.  
  
Want to get out of here for a while?  
  
Well yeah, but... We're not allowed to leave, and-  
  
Come on.  
  
He wriggled through the crowd, pulling her by the hand as he went. Careful to evade James and Sirius, he wedged through a pack of Hufflepuff girls, and to the very back of the room. Leaning inconspicuously against a school crest hanging on the wall, the pair slipped through the false brick.  
  
I swear, you know every passage in this school! Lily exclaimed, laughing as she was led about.  
  
Just about. James knows them all by heart... And Sirius has a knack for finding more new ones than anyone.  
  
What about Peter?  
  
He has the useful talent of getting lost and landing us detentions. Remus said, trying to remember the way out of the school from where they were. Deciding to loop around backwards to ward off James, if he spotted him, he pulled her up a few staircases and around to a hidden tunnel that led to the grounds.  
  
This good? he asked, setting down on the far side under the cover of a willow tree that leaned into the water. She nodded, sitting down, exhausted from running all over the school. Tucking her dress underneath, she threw her shoes aside, dangling her feet into the clear water.  
  
So what're you doing this summer?  
  
Not sure... I'm staying with my brother and his wife for a few days, they're rather making me. I suppose I'll end up helping Caleb out, I'm old enough now. he said offhand.  
  
she questioned, trying to recall someone by that name that was at the school.  
  
He doesn't go here, never did. he said.  
  
Is he foreign?  
  
Not exactly... To make a long story short, he's a friend I met in a peculiar situation and I owe him a favour. I live at his house, well, sort of... It's a bit complicated.  
  
Everything about you is complicated. Lily reminded, smiling. She looked up at the bright moon, a sliver short of full, reflection glistening in the water below.  
  
Beautiful, isn't it? she mused.  
  
I'm not too fond of the moon.  
  
she said awkwardly, biting her lip. He sat down next to her, feet in the water and robes off by the tree.  
  
Wanna go for a dip?  
  
What? It's the dead of night, and I'm in a dress!  
  
Don't be such a chick. Remus teased, knowing she would give in eventually. After much persuasion, Remus gave up, tossing his shirt aside. Lily went scarlet as he shed his pants, and clad only in boxers, dived ito the sparkling lake.  
  
Come on, it's not that cold. he lied, trying not to shiver. He laughed as she turned her head away, embarrassed at his lack of clothing.  
  
Just come in, it's fine!  
  
I'm not going to ruin the only dress I own. she mumbled.  
  
Then Summon something from the school, I know for a fact you have a ground-level window on this side of the building.  
  
I'd rather... Not. she said, humphing as a pair of shorts and a shirt were magically zoomed right into her hands. Remus grinned, and threw his wand back to shore.  
  
Oh... Oh fine. she grumbled. Turn around... Oh for the love of God. she rolled her eyes. and took refuge behind a bush. A shrill scream made Remus jump right out of the water, and rush back.  
  
_I did not mean to startle her._ Shebea whined, head down to the ground in apology. Remus let out a long laugh, and shook his head. _I heard you, I was just coming to see what all the commotion was. I really didn't mean to frighten your friend._ she reinstated.  
  
Shebea had her head bowed on her front paws, an odd, pleading look in her eyes.  
  
Lily stammered, pointing to the confused wolf.  
  
Lily, this is my friend, Shebea. he introduced, and growled the same to the wolf. They both blinked up at him, somewhat confused at why he was again laughing.  
  
Shebea, this isn't the best of time. he said after a moment, Lily having run off in another direction.  
  
_Is she your mate?  
  
_Remus snorted, and shook his head in amusement. Not exactly...  
  
_I'll just leave, I do not think she has taken a liking to me very much... I will see you around, before the holidays I hope?  
  
_ he said, and parted.  
  
  
You have some very odd friends. Lily mumbled, stepping a little way into the water, and jumping back at the cold.  
  
It's freezing! she exclaimed, Remus coming up from behind. Without warning, he grabbed her, and tumbled into the water.  
  
Oh, I'm going to get you! she called, surfacing, hair a dripping mess. With a laugh, Remus dove underwater, thinking there was no way the night could get any better.  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- yes, I know... My God, a HAPPY chapter! What was I THINKING? And good Lord above, romance... Lock me up, right now. I have no idea where this came from, but hell, it's sticking. ::whistles innocently:: Well, next one will be... Interesting. To say the least.  
  
Leave a review, pretty please!  
  
**Iggie  
  
**P.S.- After hours of negotiation with my Lit. teacher, I've managed to con some more time for my work. A slight ease off my load, so expect a few more chaps out of this beast for now. I was able to quit my job too, and with good health recently, I can now get some serious stuff done. Good news, aye?**


	32. Part XXXII Correlation

A/n- Well, another one...  
  
Disclaimer- La la la la la, I own nothing blah...  
  
Rating- PG-13 for language and possible violence  
  
Chapter Keyword- Oh, he's in for it now, boys and girls. ::insert devilish grin here::  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XXXII - Correlation  
  
  
  
Lily, you asleep? he asked, turning his head and looking at her with a smile. She had her eyes shut, a smile on her face, and was hugging at his arm for security.  
  
she mumbled, green eyes opening a bit.  
  
We should get back up to the school. she realized.   
  
Yeah, James might-  
  
James might _what_?  
  
Remus shut his eyes. It had to be a dream, another one of his nightmares... The very unpleasant voice was just a little figment of his overactive imagination.  
  
Rolling over and looking up, he found himself to be painfully wrong.  
  
Ahh, le' go le' go le' go! Remus whined, being pulled up by his one weak spot. Ears were so inconvenient at times, he mused.  
  
And what the hell were you two doing? he snapped, eyes burning behind his glasses.  
  
Lily said from the ground, yawning and stretching her arms deftly.  
  
For the love of God, he's nearly naked, and you're bloody not in a dress anymore! he pointed out, finger in the direction of a clump of discarded clothes. That sure as hell doesn't look like nothing!  
  
Remus wriggled free of his captor, and helped Lily to her feet.  
  
You're overreacting. he said simply, trying to avoid a fight.  
  
Overreacting? _Overreacting_? he stammered, beyond any logical anger. You're both out in the dead of night, almost _nude_ for the love of God, and you're soaking wet! I sure as hell don't think I'm just being overreactive!  
  
James, knock it off. You're making a big deal out of nothing. Lily scolded, wringing out her fiery hair.  
  
he nearly screamed, looking as though he was about to rip his hair out. You're out here... SNOGGING! You, and... And _Remus_! James yelled. I mean, that's hardly nothing! You! With _REMUS_!  
  
I think you've established the fact that I'm here with Remus. Lily said dryly, picking up her damp dress. And if you haven't noticed, I'm a big girl James, I think I can handle my own affairs.  
  
Remus snorted, and regretted it immediately. James, not daring to yell at whom he was still annoyingly in love with anymore, recoiled upon him.  
  
Hey, don't look at me! he said, trying to find his pants.  
  
James, cut it out, alright? Lily snapped. I can bloody date whoever I want.  
  
Run.'  
  
For once taking advice of his own thoughts, Remus grabbed his trousers, and bolted as quickly as he could. But the speed of a werewolf proved to be no match for a love-sick Gryffindor, as he felt himself fall to the ground, smacking his head to a rock.  
  
James! Get off of him! Lily yelled, running up after the pair.  
  
Just wake up alright? You two aren't even going out anymore! Remus said in daze, eyes fighting to refocus. Not in time though to dodge a sharp blow to his jaw. Already tasting the blood, he pushed forward, and pinned James to the ground.  
  
You gonna knock it off? he asked seriously.  
  
What, you're head? James snapped as he countered, flipping backwards and taking his enemy with him.  
  
Both of you, cut it out! Lily yelled.  
  
Jesus Christ James... Gr-Dammit! Grow up already! he said between hits.  
  
For the better of ten minutes the rolled about on the ground, Remus trying to keep himself in once piece, James trying to knock him into many. Neither noticed that Sirius had joined the party.  
  
Well there's something you don't see everyday. A soggy werewolf in boxers getting his ass kicked by an angry orphan. Odd. he commented with amusement. Lily rolled her eyes, and tried to get them to stop, to no avail.  
  
He's really pissed, isn't he? Sirius asked, crossing his arms. By the smirk on his face it was very clear that he was entertained by the fight, though Lily did not share this philosophy.  
  
James, stop it right now! He's gonna kill you if you piss him off! she snapped.  
  
Not if I get to him first. was the snide reply, muffled by Remus' fist.  
  
Oh, and Moony enters the fight! Sirius said in delight. Lily hit him on the head, and continued to yell at the boys.  
  
Get off of me dammit! Remus yelled, trying to push him off. I'm not going to fight you!  
  
That's too bad, the feeling isn't mutual.  
  
  
Sirius, _do_ something! If James keeps it up he's gonna get nailed, and if he doesn't stop, Remus will end up in the hospital wing!  
  
What, and ruin a good fight like this? What're you, nuts?  
  
Lily slapped him across the face, and snarled angrily.  
  
Five more minutes? he pleaded. OUCH! Fine, alright... Not like I can do anything, I don't have my wand...  
  
  
  
Teach you to go out an snog with my girlfriend, grimy little beast. James snapped, landing a blow right to where Remus had been shot twice, at the ribs. He took in a gasp of air, eyes going blank for a moment. It sparked some defense instinct in the back of his wolfen mind, and in a flash, James was trying to save his own life.  
  
REMUS! Knock it OFF! Lily yelled. Dammit Sirius, do something before either of them get killed!  
  
Human anger combined with wolfen instinct was a bad mix for James. There was no small voice at the back of Remus' mind screaming to stop, on the contrary, it was yelling out in hate. Another blow to the face, James was sent spiraling backwards through the grass, trying desperately to grab something.  
  
James managed one hit to his foes face, sending him back a good distance. Head crashing against a rock for the second time, Remus blacked out, hands falling to his side.  
  
Oh God... James muttered, blinking back to reality.  
  
Someone... Go get Madame Pomfrey. he stammered, though neither of his friends moved.  
  
he repeated, and Sirius finally dashed off.  
  
  
  
Remus mumbled, trying to sit up. The moment he stirred, he was enveloped in a painful hug until Lily was pulled back.  
  
Are you alright? James asked quietly.  
  
Where the hell am I? he asked, eyes open, but no sight coming through. Lily frowned in concern, and ran off to find the nurse.  
  
Hospital wing. James answered after a moment. It's tomorrow, if you care. he added.  
  
And where're my robes?  
  
Lily put you up in some this morning.  
  
he grumbled, slowly falling back to the pillow, though the impact felt like a brick had been swung at his head. He put a hand up to rub, and found his entire top to be wrapped up tightly.  
  
Kind of bled... A lot... Madame Pomfrey was freaking out for a while, with you being sick and stuff all the time. James said quietly, voice unusually rash.  
  
Why can't I see anything? Remus asked after several minutes of blinking and rubbing with his free arm. The other seemed to be braced in a rather itchy contraption.  
  
I don't know. If it makes you feel any better, you swelled the entire left side of my face. he heard James say.  
  
I did? But... I don't even remember hitting you again. _...grimy beast. _Shit.'  
  
Remus closed his sightless eyes, trying to recall the latter of the evening, drawing up a blank. Please God, don't tell me I...'  
  
You went nuts... I don't blame you... I kind of lost it. he mumbled, and Remus heard him shift about uncomfortably.  
  
he finally said.  
  
Eh, it's alright. Remus lied, anger rising in his bruised face. Beast...  
  
No, it isn't. I kind of, well, I really messed you up. You smashed your head against a rock and all... I flipped out.  
  
Look, don't worry about it. Chicks mess with the mind. Remus said with a forced grin. You can't be held accountable for what happens then.  
  
He heard a small laugh, and imagined that he was smiling, though he couldn't be sure. A moment later, Madame Pomfrey kicked him and Lily out of the wing, and made herself busy with Remus.  
  
Can you see at all? she asked first off, handing him a steamy potion.  
  
  
  
As expected... Not to worry, I'll have you fixed up in no time at all... So how did you manage to smash your head against a rock? Potter said something about a wolf, he wasn't making any sense at the time.  
  
Remus bit his lip despite how much it hurt to move, and shrugged.  
  
Well whatever you did, you'd best stop. You spend half your year in this wing! I'm getting rather sick of treating all your mishaps...  
  
  
James said stiffly at dinner, sporting a slightly healed eye and a cut lip. Sirius, across the table, was grinning like a mad man.  
  
So, back and functional I presume?  
  
One hell of a headache, but I'm fine otherwise. he said monotonously, trying to drop the subject. James insisted on expressing his concern, and spent the better of a half hour apologizing many times through.  
  
James, just shove off. Remus finally snapped, slurping down the last remains of his pudding. I told you, chicks mess with the mind. I mean, hell... I was acting _romantic_ of all things, unconsciously. So I can forgive you of a few punches... Besides, you don't hit too hard.  
  
Hey, I- James said, but laughed along with his friends  
  
So I'm not match for the Great Moony. he said, giving a mock humble bow, grinning ear to swollen ear.  
  
And I've met a fair foe in the form of one jealous Gryffindor. Keep it down, don't get mad.' his mind warned. Beast....  
  
Hey, I wasn't... Alright, I am... Screw, I have better chances picking her up once you two are through, might as well not piss her off now. James figured as he poked the last of his meal.  
  
Conspiring little devil, isn't he? Sirius commented.  
  
Yes, but his plan has a flaw.  
  
  
  
It's solely dependent on the fact that Lily's going to get sick of me.  
  
Well, she was more than a bit freaked out by last night...  
  
  
  
  
  
_Little wolf, what is troubling you?_ Shebea asked, nudging her muzzle under Remus arm and making herself comfortable in his lap.  
  
  
  
_What do you mean by that?  
  
_Everything I ever get, any privilege, inevitably is torn away from me for reasons I'm not at fault for. It isn't _fair_. he snapped, lying down uneasily. He ran a hand through his messy hair, annoyed with existence.  
  
_Things cannot be so bad. You have health, and food and shelter. You have a wonderful pack, and kin that care for you very much. And surely, how can the alpha feel so deprived?  
  
_I'm far from the alpha male, hell, sometimes I'm only a step-up from Peter... He's the lowest.  
  
_But you are strongest, are you not? And, with all respect, you are far from deformed in any such way, nor are you cruel. Quite compassionate... And you seemed to have found a very attractive mate... That would grant you alpha status by any terms.  
  
_You just don't understand how humans behave... It doesn't matter that I can win a fight against anyone, or that I care about things more than most. In my pack, James and Sirius run the show... James kind of looks down on me, because of the curse...  
  
_Two alpha males? I do not see how that would run over well... I mean, what about mating rights?  
  
_Remus smiled, and shook his head slightly._  
  
_Sirius runs between, erm, beta's, on a daily basis. And just to clear something up for you, for future reference, we date. Dating has nothing to do with mating and all, not for a long time anyway. he laughed.  
  
_I do not see what advantage there is to that. And by all means,_ she said, licking his chin playfully. _You seem quite depressed over females, so there must be a flaw in your ways.  
  
_My life is a flaw... All because of this wretched curse. he mumble. Shebea licked him again, smiling in a canine fashion, much like Sirius would would.  
  
_Do not worry little wolf, things will work out in the end. You could always join my pack, our male is very elderly.  
  
_Uh, thanks for the offer Shebea, but I'll have to decline at the moment. he laughed.  
  
_You are unhappy with this life, are you not?_ she blinked.  
  
You're a long way from understanding how people work... Just take my word for this.  
  
_And you my friend, your kind is a long way from learning how to be productive. Silly creatures..._  
  
Remus? Reeee-muus!  
  
Shebea set her ears back, and quickly moved back to the bush as she picked up the sound.  
  
_I do not like that one. I cannot smell him ahead of time._ she growled, running off into the night. Remus chuckled to himself as Sirius tripped through the forest, burrs clinging to his hair and robes.  
  
How the hell do you manage to run off like that? Took me half the bloody hour to track you down. he panted, clutching at his side.  
  
Fine-tuned the nose there, did you?  
  
I don't know... Anyway, we've got a huge wager going with the Ravenclaw's on the Quidditch Finals. If we loose this, James is gonna be out of his allowance for the next year!  
  
And I come into this how? he asked, getting to his feet.  
  
Well, we need some plays.  
  
You came all the way out here to tell me I needed to formulate a few Quidditch plays?  
  
That, and the fact that the entire House of Ravenclaw is waiting for you in a chess duel. he smirked. James got a bit hotheaded and challenged them, well, you to them, but...  
  
Remind me again why I'm friends with you, as I seemed to have forgotten.  
  
  
  
  
  
Remus rolled his eyes at the arrogant Ravenclaw, and went back to the task at hand. Going from his twenty-percent deal he had with Sirius, he had roughly his entire life savings on the line. The small, semi-friendly chess match was turning out to be a headache and then some for the werewolf, who was well out of practice. Painfully, Remus realized the last match he had played had been against Elise.  
  
Shaking off the emotional breakdown, he moved his knight, and kept himself in the game. Sirius, who had just now learned what moved where, seemed to like the fact that his money wasn't lost yet.  
  
  
_This is impossible, you know that? I'm about ready to give up. Elise mumbled, hand lurking over her cornered king.  
  
Nothing's impossible until it's over. Remus said, biting his lip. In fact, you can beat me right now. Easily.  
  
That doesn't help, considering I have eleven pieces left and the majority of them still have somewhere to move. The fact that I suck at chess also puts me at a disadvantage.  
  
I gave you a handicap, I played without my queen. Come on, you can beat me. You know the move, you just have to find it.  
  
She closed her eyes, nodded her head to herself, and picked up her only knight with a nervous grin. Remus smiled as his king was tipped aside, defeated.  
  
I told you. Nothing is impossible until its over.  
  
  
_ Remus said monotonously, the colour draining from his face. He waited as the boy cursed, and ruined the only escape there was.  
  
He didn't hear the small crowd cheering, or Sirius yelling about being filthy rich. In a dream, Remus only heard the echoing fall of the white king, rolling on its square in defeat. His own stood proud, surrounded, triumphant.  
  
Black.  
  
Alone.  
  
There's no triumph in victory. he muttered, running off from his fanatic House mates.  
  
  
Moony, are you in there? Sirius asked, the bathroom door squeaking open. Hey, I can see your shower running, I know you're here. Come out and join the chaos! James lit a few fireworks and dungbombs and the Ravenclaw's are going nuts on us, it's jolly fun! he called over the ripple of the shower. With no response, he tapped on the side of the shower stall, and looked under.  
  
Come on out. he asked, frowning. Don't know what the bloody's wrong now but a little bit of party can do some good. Sirius tried, sniffing the air to make sure he had the right person. He smiled in amusement of his own talent, leaning back.  
  
Seriously, what's bothering you? You won the match if you hadn't noticed. Remember, you were black, he was white. You won.  
  
Go away. Remus finally said, turning the water dials for more heat. After ignoring everything Sirius said for the better of five minutes, he succeeded in driving him off, and was alone with his thoughts.   
  
Everything's my fault. he told himself, sliding down to the floor. His fingers traced over his hairline, along the tiny white blur his father caused.  
  
Killed my own father. he grumbled. Mum died because of me. Romolus had a shitty life on the run because of me... Some random idiot lost his life because I lost my temper. Elise died because I was too concerned about my self.  
  
He shut his eyes, thoughts turning into demons, screaming their rage.  
  
I could have saved her... Instead I saved myself. he said pathetically, water dripping down his face that had nothing to do with the shower. I don't deserve to be alive. Everyone would be better off if I was dead.  
  
That isn't true.  
  
Half-startled back to reality, a puffy-eyes Remus shook his head.   
  
Go away.  
  
Oh to hell Moony, and wake up. Sirius barked, hitting his fist against the side of the shower. No one wants you dead, save for a few assholes at the Ministry and some Slytherins. And maybe James, but I can tell the feeling is the same on your side. he said loudly, pausing to think. I mean, dammit Moony, you're my best friend. James aside anyway... You're the only one I can have a semi-intelligent conversation with, you're the brains of the outfit. And you keep me under control, I'd have been expelled ages ago if you weren't around. Sirius said with a short laugh. So don't even say no one wants you around. If everyone in this school abandoned you, I'd still stick with you. I'll always stick with you, no matter what, alright? We're a pack, we have to stay together...  
  
Remus shut his eyes, not wanting to hear any of it.  
  
So just shut the hell up about blaming yourself. Like you say, it's gone, it's done. No worries over what can't be changed, right? he said, starting to sound a lot like Romolus. I mean, honestly, there is _no_ way things are as bad as your warped little mind perceives them to be.  
  
I've got nothing left in life.  
  
Oh bloody eff you've got nothing! So I don't count for shit now? he snapped angrily, slightly hurt. I'm just a pile of dung under your shoe? Dammit Moony, you've got friends, good ones. Screw Peter, he can go get himself eaten by a pregnant Norwegian Ridgeback for all I care. Me, and James and Lily. Especially Lily.  
  
She's afraid of me, terrified... Scared of me more than those bastards that hurt her.  
  
But she didn't do anything about it Moony, did you realize that? Lily's afraid of the wolf, not you. She cares about you. Me and James care about you, though the brainless git doesn't exactly show it much. he said. You know what? You kind of scare me sometimes, you're just so uptight. Loosen up, have some fun... Marauders aren't supposed to be depressed.  
  
Remus turned the gold dial, and the water flow stopped. Donning a fluffy red towel, he stepped out, and looked Sirius in the eye.  
  
You've got a lot running in that head of yours, and someday I really hope you tell me. Until then, shut up and let's go bomb some nerds. Sirius answered, somehow managing to sound serious and look stern.  
  
With a small smile and roll of his eyes, Remus hurriedly changed, and was dragged back to the Ravenclaw tower, pockets bulging with Dungbombs.  
  
  
  
Hey James, come here for a minute. Remus said casually during the bomb-fest. The grinning Gryffindor followed him into the hall, but the moment he stepped through the door, he was knocked against the wall.  
  
I deserved that. James muttered, smiling through his bleeding lip. All wolfen angers gone, Remus grinned back, and together they joined the party, incident forgotten.  
  
  
  
**A/n- Well, quite enough of that, aye? I didn't like this one too much, but eh, you tell me. Next one will be up soon. Cheers! Slightly good news too, I finished part 34, so this will keep going for now.   
  
^.~  
  
**Iggie


	33. Part XXXIII Breakaway

A/n- Wow, back again. Well, you knew that anyway, so I'm just pointing out the obvious, aren't I?  
  
  
Disclaimer- JKR and everyone owns anything you recognize. But you knew that, didn't you? Now really, why do I put these here. It's not as if corporate weirdo's are going to stumble upon my fic or anything...  
  
Rating- PG-13 I guess, for now...  
  
Chapter Keywords- Remus kicks some ace, a bit of Quidditch action, and some school partings.  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XXXIII - Breakaway  
  
  
  
  
James and Sirius continued their insistent laughing, trying to calm Remus down as he paced about the locker room.  
  
Lighten up, will you? Sirius chuckled, smiling evilly. You look like an expectant father.  
  
If we don't win this match-  
  
Calm. Down. James repeated slowly, putting his hands on Remus' shoulders.   
  
We're going to _win_. There's no way a bunch of book sissy's are going to claim our title, alright? And it doesn't even matter anyway.  
  
Of course it matters! Sirius interrupted. This is the Final, if we don't win... Crap, I see your point. he said to Remus, and bit his lip. Do we have time to go over those plays one more ti-  
  
He was cut off by the shrill cry of the whistle outside, and the near-defening cry from the stands as the door flew open automatically.  
  
Alright guys-  
  
And girls!  
  
And girls. Sirius corrected, rolling his eyes at the pompous Kayre. Let's go out their, and kick some ass!  
  
~~  
  
What's _wrong_ with you guys? We're getting our asses kicked by a bunch of little twits! Sirius snapped as a time-out was called.  
  
None of our plays are working- someone started, glaring obviously at Remus.  
  
They must have known in advance, and if I do recall, you were in charge of my play book. Remus pointed out with a well-placed smug smile. James and Sirius grinned, glad to have the old Moony back and running.  
  
Then what do we do Cappie? Alex asked, pinching his bleeding lip.  
  
Remus thought for a moment, and snapped his fingers. The only reason they're killing us is they know every play or formation we have. Little twits probably stayed up all night memorizing them for a week...  
  
  
  
So nothing. Screw plays. How about we go back to playing how James and Sirius used to play? he said, and the two grinned wider than ever. Let's play like a bunch of reckless, random fools.  
  
  
  
  
  
Don't use formations. Screw any plays I've ever taught you, this time, we're just playing. Pretend if you have to, that you're playing against your own team.  
  
So everything we do is just spur-of-the-moment and seemingly pointless? Kayre asked, holding her bat tightly.  
  
Pretty much. James and Sirius can direct you later, they're running this game now. Remus said, nodding his head in confirmation. Come on, lets go kick some ass, and literally this time.  
  
  
  
The Gryffindor team, all limping or otherwise bleeding, hung on each other as they made their way back to the school as a muddy and aching whole. Not having any sort of counter, the mighty Lions had stolen the Cup back for the third year straight, all thanks to a bit of reckless flying.  
  
Good game Cap's. Remus said to James and Sirius, both spotting the most injuries from Bludger and flyer collisions.  
  
Good game everyone, seriously. No, not you Padfoot. James mumbled. We really did awesome there, no one is going to mess with us next year now that Remus is back in the game.  
  
Eh, can we save the pep talk for later? There's a party going on and I'm _not_ gonna miss it! Sirius interrupted with an anxious smile.   
  
The three Marauders waited behind for a long moment, for everyone to be out of view. When the cover has passed, Padfoot raised his black head high, howling his victory to the sky, Prongs galloping merrily in a circle, while Moony joined in the chorus.  
  
Life is good my friends, life is good. he said with a smile.  
  
  
Being a Friday on a Hogsmeade weekend, there was a continuous party, celebrating not only the Quidditch triumph, but the fall of another year. Sirius had gotten the house elves to bring tray loads of food to the Gryffindor Tower every few minutes, and the House soon discovered half of the food was more or less his own invention. Several explosions later, people were taking shift to grab their own food in fear of the Marauders' offerings.  
  
  
  
Only two days left... James sighed happily at five the next morning, just laying down for bed. Two days and I'm free of this damn prison.  
  
I'd rather stay in school. Remus confessed, stuffing his face in his pillow.  
  
Are you _insane_?' Sirius gapped.  
  
  
  
Guys, his friends died. I doubt he's gonna be too keen on going back and have a shitload of nasty memories come back. James pointed out with a yawn.  
  
Let's get some sleep, gotta hit Zonko's tomorrow and stock up for the summer.  
  
I hear they're opening one in Diagon Alley. James said lazily.  
  
Wicked! Then we could be fully armed no matter what the season!  
  
And that's a good thing? Peter muttered, pulling his curtains shut.  
  
  
  
  
Just go on, I don't mind.  
  
Of course you mind, I mean...  
  
Better you being happy than me being stuck with a girlfriend who likes her ex. Remus noted, half-smiling. Really, I don't care.  
  
Lily frowned, biting her lip thoughtfully. She nodded her head once, kissed Remus on the cheek cautiously, and busted through the door after James.  
  
Fairly noble of you.  
  
Remus turned around, and found Snape to be sitting behind him, sipping a very illegal beverage without care. He narrowed his tiny black eyes, more than slightly suspicious.  
  
Why'd you do that? You still like her, hard as you try to conceal your emotions it's rather obvious.  
  
She likes him more. I'm not going to waste my limited amount of feelings on someone that doesn't care for me on a high level. It's illogical.  
  
Women are illogical. Snape mused, unfazed by his near-empty drink. All of them.  
  
  
  
This is rather frightening. We're sharing a somewhat civil conversation. Remus noted, downing his third butterbeer, longing for Caleb and his tavern benefits.  
  
We'll just have to either forget it happened, or involve ourselves in a splendid fist fight.  
  
The latter seems entertaining enough, and considering I've enough pent up aggravation it could prove to be somewhat therapeutic. What shall we fight over? Typical House quarrel, or more in-depth? Snape asked calmly.  
  
Let's make this realistic. I've been wanting to knock someone about for some time...  
  
Alright then. I have an unanswered ponder we could possibly bicker over.  
  
Remus said blatantly, calling for another drink.  
  
Where exactly do you go over the moon? I always figured you would've been locked in one of the old dungeons or something, but apparently that's not the case.  
  
If I told you, I would violate Dumbledore's trust. And I'd have to kill you.  
  
Splendid. Care to have a push in here or outside?  
  
Outside, preferably.  
  
That's right, you don't have any money to pay for damages. Snape smirked.  
  
Remus dove, toppling over his chair and crashing Snape's table down with a loud snap. The crowd gathered about, and followed as a unit as Snape made a dash for the door.  
  
some Slytherin bellowed, and the whole of the students down in Hogsmeade joined to whiteness the match.  
  
Fairly decent congregation we have here. Remus noted, slice on his cheek bleeding from broken glass he had landed on.  
  
Kick his bloody ass! a voice rang.  
  
A moment later, a large bloke joined in the beating, managing to rip a gash across Remus' face. Falling backwards, he looked at the blood on his fingertips, eyes blazing in realization.  
  
You're the bastard that smacked Lily around, aren't you?  
  
The very soul. Snape said after rolling aside, narrowly avoiding a lunge. Remus smiled, and plowed through the crowd, locked on one unsuspecting individual.  
  
I'll kick your bloody ass you little git. he roared. He was jumped from behind, and Snape held him down for a moment.  
  
This is turning out to be a nice fight. he commented.  
  
Glad we could work it into our schedules. Always good to take out some aggression. Remus muttered, kicking up at Malfoy and freeing himself. He spotted James and Sirius, and Peter jumping to get a look on the action.  
  
Gonna run for it? It's two on one. Snape said, Malfoy standing like a behind him.  
  
No one ever told you the strength of a wolf, did they?  
  
Several hits later, James, Sirius, Lily and Peter were all fighting gallantly to hold Remus down. It was a difficult task, and several time he nearly wriggled free,.  
  
Come on Moony, tomorrow's the last day. Now's a bad time to get yourself expelled. Sirius mumbled, pinning an arm behind Remus' back.  
  
Lay off, this was prearranged. Therapy if you will. Remus snapped, being dragged away from the crowd and bleeding Malfoy.  
  
Let me go, come on... I'm not done with Malfoy.  
  
Wait, you were fighting Malfoy? Lily asked quickly.  
  
Yes, now let-  
  
She released her grip on his leg, and the others didn't have enough weight to hold him down. Remus dashed back to the scene to finish his business.  
  
Why'd you go and do that? He's going to get in a hell of a lot of trouble. James snapped.  
  
No he won't. He's got blackmail against Malfoy, and him and Snape... I don't think he was kidding when he said it was arranged.  
  
What, you mean they're fighting over nothing? Peter questioned, rubbing his nose from where it had been kicked.  
  
Most likely.  
  
Care to go get a Butterbeer? Sirius suggested with a smile.  
  
Nah, I'm gonna go watch Snape get his ass kicked.  
  
I suppose that'd be more entertaining...  
  
  
So what was with that? James asked, walking back up to the school through a passage. He stayed close to Remus, slightly fearful that he was going to keel over.  
  
I was pissed, Snape's angry, so we decided it'd be fun to beat the shit out of each other.  
  
James blinked, not quite sure if he had heard correctly.  
  
You... Weren't fighting over anything the other did? he asked.  
  
No, not really.  
  
My God, you're completely mental! James laughed.  
  
I had a bad day.  
  
Well no shit, you got your ass nearly kicked.  
  
Lily, well, she kind of broke up with me.  
  
Hiding his delight, James offered a supportive nod. Why though, I mean...  
  
She's still freaked out by the whole wolf thing, when we knocked each other around... She never really got over the shock. Remus said calmly, deciding to leave out the fact that she dumped him for James.  
  
Oh... That, uh, sucks...  
  
He's such a horrible liar.' Remus mused with a concealed grin.  
  
  
  
Thank God for summer. James said with a long sigh, leaning back on the train seat. Trunks tucked away and sweets about the room, the Hogwarts Express was soon to depart for the end of another year.  
  
I don't know... I miss Hogwarts during the holidays. Remus mused, crumpling up the latest note from Romolus, a warning that he'd better not run off and evade him.  
  
What are you, nuts? Sirius gapped. Summer is what I _live_ for. Well, that and blowing up Bane, but hell, summer is a bit more achievable. I'd go insane without breaks.  
  
Hate to break it to you Padfoot, but you're already not sane. James said lazily as the train jerked forward.  
  
Point taken.  
  
So, anyway... Care to come to the Quidditch expo's with me and Padfoot this month? I have an extra ticket since Pete had to bail. James offered, munching on a box of Berthi Blotts Every Flavour Beans.  
  
I don't know, depends on when my brother's done with me. He's convinced some family time will do me good, though I beg to differ. Knowing my luck I'll end up scaring Shelly off or something horrible like that...  
  
Hey James, Lily's outside. Sirius noticed a few minutes later, smirking up through the window. Lily ran off quickly, the eccentric Gryffindor at her heels.  
  
Makes me nauseous. Sirius offered.  
  
  
  
How does he manage to upkeep the most controversial relationship in school, while I have trouble with two weeks? I mean, hell, he's not that good looking either... he grumbled.  
  
Remus smiled to himself, and lay himself down across the row of seats.  
  
Animal magnetism my friend. That or dumb luck.  
  
He's filthy rich, dating Lily Evans, and the Gryffindor Seeker. The stupid git doesn't deserve any more luck.  
  
  
  
_Remus, come on. We have a few miles to go before we're safe.  
  
A soggy and disgruntled ten year old blinked up at his brother, and pulled the tattered sheet over his head.  
  
I jus' went to bed... Le' me sleep a little more...  
  
The cover was torn away, and the shabby, beaten, and otherwise miserable boy was lifted up from the ground against his will.  
  
If they catch up, you're caught. If you're caught, you'll be registered. he warned sharply, walking on, sibling in arms.  
  
Why not... Why not let them. They'll let me live, and I'm sick... I'm sick of this life. the young boy whined, yawning. He lay his head against his brothers chest, slowly drifting back to an uneasy sleep.  
  
Little brother, some things you don't understand. The life you'd be given is not one you would want, trust me on this. Never let them catch you. Promise, alright?  
  
Remus yawned again, eyes shut tight. He was bounced once for a waking, and glared at.  
  
  
  
Yeah, whatever... Just lemme sleep.  
  
I'm not joking around! Romolus snapped vigorously. If you get caught, your life is over. And mine... I have no reason to even live without you, alright? Just... Don't get caught.  
  
  
  
_Hey, Remus! Over here!  
  
He was greeted by an unusually smiley couple, each of whom were grinning at him as if they held some dear secret and wouldn't tell.   
  
Ok, what's going on? Remus asked immediately. You two are unusually perky.  
  
Romolus pretended he had no idea what his brother was talking about, and hauled the trunk into Shelly's car.  
  
So, pass your O.W.L.'s? he asked lazily as they drove out of the Kings Cross parking lot.  
  
I don't get my results until next year.  
  
Do you _think_ you passed?  
  
Everything except potions I'm sure I did fine on. he said, closing his eyes for a moment, thinking over the summer.  
  
You know, you two could pass for twins. Shelly commented, looking between the two of them in the mirror. Except... Hm, well, Remus, you look sad. Rom' always a bit more cheerful than you.  
  
Life's been a little crazy lately.  
  
Romolus smiled again, and looked out the window.  
  
You know, you can stay with us if you like. We have a guest room and everything... I mean long-term. You know, until you can get your own place and all.  
  
Hogwarts will last me another few years, and Hogsmeade afterwards. I have a shack to haunt and it's the only place safe enough for me.  
  
We have a shelter, in the basement. Shelly informed, turning off the freeway onto a dusty country road. Rom designed the whole thing, it'd be perfect.  
  
I don't think so... You two don't really need a kid hanging around anyway.  
  
  
  
Look, I can live on my own just fine.  
  
Slightly let down, his brother nodded once, and continued to stare out the window.  
  
Why is it we have the most dysfunctional lives? he pondered.   
  
Yours is fine now. So stop worrying about me and live your own... Trust me, I've gone this far already, I think I'll live the other two hundred years fairly well.  
  
  
Nice place. Remus said with an approving nod. A small little start-house sat in the countryside, surrounded by tall grass and plenty of trees on every side.  
  
It was cheap. Shelly said shortly, tugging his trunk ito the house and up the stairs. There's some food on the stove, if you're hungry. she called down.  
  
No, I think I'll go for a walk.  
  
Hey wait up. Romolus muttered, running off through the door and joining Remus.  
  
Is everything alright with you? he asked once the pair reached the tiny little town full of family shops and general stores.  
  
I guess... he mumbled, looking around for a restaurant. No. I'm not fine. I was never fine and I probably never will be fine. he finally admitted. I'm _sick_ of everything. Damn it, why the hell does there have to be a war?  
  
Nothing goes past you, does it? Romolus mused, walking into a small, crowded bar and ordering two house specials. I figured that you would find out before the media.  
  
Well it's hard to miss it! I mean, when you got caught before... And now all the shit going on at school, it's obvious once you know what you're looking for. Carlison say's it'll be full-scale in three years tops.  
  
I give it two. At the rate all the forces are rallying, it can't be much longer.  
  
God damn it... Everything is so messed up. Why were we given the leftovers in life? All I ever wanted was a quiet existence with a picket-fence family and a golden retriever roaming around in the yard. Instead I get a criminal record, a life on the run as a renegade wizard and my Godforsaken curse. he swore, eyes shut tight. Romolus made motion to put his hand on Remus' shoulder, but decided against it.  
  
Pretty soon things will straighten out. Who knows, maybe there won't be a war, and I _know_ there will be a cure someday.  
  
Someday never comes Rom... It never comes. Not for me. I'm going to live my life stuck with today.  
  
  
  
**A/n- Well, there's 33 for you... There _will_ be a 34, and maybe 35... I can't really promise a whole lot as of now. But you never know, so keep your eyes peeled. :-/  
  
**Iggie  
  
  
  
**The List, Version One- A collection of fics I recommend you read:  
  
Second Chances by Nataly Ravenlock- A wonderful tale of sneaky deceptions with a very unique Gryffindor gal. Highly recommended.  
  
Story of a Cat by Lady Padfoot-A new twist on the life of Sirius' former girlfriend. Told through the eyes of Crookshank. Full of good humour and new insights.  
  
What Blind Men See by Icebox- Crammed full of Remus Lupin and other angtsy things in very original situations. Creative plotline to say the least.  
  
A Twist Of Fate by Eureka- Twelve year old Harry in an AU, who happens to have a mysterious doggy protector as the orphan prowls the streets.  
  
Cave Canem by Antares- Good old dramatic Remus and Sirius (NOT SLASH!) fic, in which the two meet a lady at a nightclub... Chaos ensues.  
  
Patient 35234 by Mercutia13579- Some Mungo's stuff, it's actually quite wonderful, and I've NEVER seen anything like it. Has some good old Longbottom appearemces in it... You'll see. :)**


	34. Part XXXIV Opprimo

A/n- Well, here it is...  
  
Disclaimer- Really, would someone owning any part of Harry-dom be writing lowly fanfics? I think not.  
  
Rating- This one's pretty mellow... I think.  
  
Chapter Keywords- Some more of Caleb in this one, along with a little surprise. Or should I say two...  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XXXIV - Opprimo  
  
  
  
  
After the street lights had come on and the bar slowly lost it's occupants, the two Lupins staggered about the dirt road, leaning against each other for support. With drunken smiles, they stopped at a wooden bench and eased down.  
  
House specials kick ass. Romolus mused, watching a firefly flicker in the distance.  
  
Remus nodded once, the liquor not having as strong an effect on his mind. Down some ways, he watched the lights turn off one by one on a row of little town shops as they closed for the night.  
  
So what've you been doing this year? he asked with a small chuckle.   
  
Not a lot... I applied for a job with the Ministry a while ago, right now I'm working in Diagon. Why you ask?  
  
Just kind of curious... We've been out of touch.  
  
No, _you've_ been out of touch. Never answering my bloody owls... I thought the Ministry caught you or something. They're still looking for that unregistered werewolf from Westbend you know.  
  
Huh. One would think they'd have given up after so many years... Maybe Caleb can do a little creative erasing for me. Remus laughed to himself as an old woman, coming out of her shop, yelled at a stray dog to stop barking.  
  
We should get back, Shelly's gonna throw a fit about me being out again... Not to mention letting you get drunk. Hell, I'm barely legal as it is...  
  
Can you make it back?  
  
Most likely. he said, standing up. A moment later he tripped over his own feet, Remus catching him before he plowed into the mud.  
  
Or not. he grinned, leaning on his brother as they made way back to the small farmhouse.  
  
  
  
You aren't in bed yet? a droggy, red-eyed Romolus asked a few hours later, walking into the room after a trip to the toilet. The small crack of light had attracted him like a moth to flame, and he soon found his brother gazing out the window absently.  
  
What're doing this late? he asked, taking a seat on the bed.  
  
Just watching... Listening to the dogs.  
  
You're one weird kid, you know that? Romolus laughed.  
  
Me and El used to sit around at night, just kind of looking up at the stars, or watching people go by in the village. Now it's just habit for me. Sit around and think.  
  
It's summer. You're required to not think.  
  
Not in my life. As soon as I'm back at the Resort de Caleb, I'll spend nights in the basement unraveling the mysteries of odd potions and decoding an old dead mans journal for help.  
  
Sounds... Fun.  
  
It's something to do, I guess. Might as well do something useful with my time.  
  
Romolus shook his head, and for no reason, hit Remus across the head.  
  
What'd you do that for? he whined.  
  
You need to knock off acting older than me, it's getting on my nerves. Stop growing up and be a frickin sixteen year old guy. Go chase some chicks and complain about Quidditch games, or something. Anything besides this. he said quietly, donning his long-forgotten seriousness. You have friends now, and we aren't on the run anymore, not really. Do me a favour and at least try to be happy, cause I'm not if you're not.  
  
Remus nodded his head once, and smiled weakly.  
  
Alright, I'll try.  
  
  
  
  
Remus grinned, and waving goodbye as he flew off into the dark night. An express owl had delivered James' Invisibility Cloak to him, which he now had pulled tight over himself as to not be seen on his way to Canterbury. Satchel at his side and broom zooming off, he felt at ease again, back to his old travel games. Two hours of concealed flight always did a lot to clear his mind, and now he finally had time to clear his thoughts.  
  
So what now? he pondered aloud.  
  
You find a home.' the night whispered. Whether there is one or not, you search.'  
  
  
  
Hey, what's wrong? Remus asked, dropping his bag at the door and propping his broom in an umbrella rack. Caleb turned his face away, hiding it in his knees.  
  
What's going on? he asked again, walking in front of him.  
  
...My fault... he finally muttered, swallowing a gasp of strangled air.  
  
Caleb, come on, what happened? Remus coaxed, making the teary-eyes and disgruntled werewolf look up.  
  
At the Ministry, in a few hours... It's my fault. he mumbled, breaking the cold gaze.  
  
What's going to happen? Remus asked again, trying to snap some sense ito his usually over-collected friend.  
  
A couple were caught in London yesterday, their... Their execution is in a few hours. It's too guarded, I couldn't...  
  
Caleb, you can't expect to save everyone, you're being too hard on yourself.  
  
A family is going to _die_ because I couldn't get the nuts to save them. he hissed in an icy voice, taking in quick breaths. They had kids, two of them if I'm not mistaken. They'll be killed too. I'm indirectly destroying an entire family.  
  
Remus hit him sharp across the face, scowling noticeably.  
  
You've spent the last year smacking sense into me, and now you're defying your own logic. Dont' be hypocritical. he snapped. I finally got a grip on my life, because of you. So don't _even_ go and break down, alright? You're my last grip on reality, so don't you dare go mental. Now get up.  
  
Remus turned his back, and started to walk out the door before he noticed Caleb hadn't moved.  
  
Are you coming or not?  
  
came the bleak reply.  
  
To get that family free, of course. Come on, I can't Apparate or drive, I can't do this alone.  
  
  
This is too dangerous... We shouldn't be doing this. Caleb mumbled, turning a sharp corner in the busy night streets of London.  
  
Dangerous? Oh, go to hell. Remus said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. I'm an unregistered wizard for first, not to mention Dumbledore keeps me as a concealed werewolf at Hogwarts. Don't even tell me dangerous.  
  
You're not registered as a wizard?  
  
No, we were Muggle-born, my brother and I. My mother was a Squib, so we weren't on a registry watch as children. And I received the bite before any real magic showed itself... After that, Romolus pulled some creative strings and kept me from ever begin discovered. My existence to the wizard world was erased... And to the Muggles I was just a renegade that might've known something about the death of my father, so I was on the run. There was never any way for anyone to find me.  
  
Pretty good. Caleb said with a slight nod.  
  
  
  
You'll do well, helping me out with my project. I can use a hand with Elise gone...  
  
  
_Caleb, get out of here, now!  
  
There they are, shoot!  
  
Three shots, two solid clangs of metal clashing. Thump.  
  
  
  
Get the other! NOW!  
  
  
_Should be fun. Remus said dryly, ignoring his Vision. Caleb smiled, and screeched to a halt in front of the Leaky Cauldron.  
  
  
  
Here goes nothing. he muttered, taking in a long breath and pushing open the Ministry building doors. Remus at his side, the pair slipped through the chaotic mass of cart-shoving paperboys and secretary's running off frantically. Motioning to follow, Caleb slipped through a false wall, and into a series of bustling hallways.  
  
Alright, we need to split-  
  
I don't know this building though. Remus pointed out. Caleb rolled his eyes at himself, cursing that Remus wasn't Elise.  
  
Then stick by me. When anyone asks, you're eighteen. Your names Aaron Domingues, you're from Wales, alright? They're strict on ID, and since you aren't even registered this is going to be hellish if anyone has even the smallest urge to ID you.  
  
Don't worry about me, I'm good at keeping the authorities off.  
  
Well, we're at the heart of law right here, so don't slip up. he muttered, slipping inside a crowded room of cubicle's and stacks of papers. At every other corner and every door guards were stationed, grey-clad men with very cold faces.  
  
The Beast division is back here... he said a few aisles later, having smiled falsely at a few coworkers. They carry out the executions right in here, since it's ground level they can, er, dispose of the bodies... Easily. he said with grimace. There's a tunnel under a tapestry in the back, but if we can't make it, turn away.  
  
  
  
They... Look, you dont want to witness an execution, it's not a pretty sight.  
  
Remus saw him shaking slightly, and nodded his head once. Come on, let's get this done...  
  
  
  
  
Panting from both disgust and fatigue, Remus put a hand to his side and leaned up against the tunnel wall he remembered from his own escape. The very moment Caleb and Remus had entered the room after wedging past a guard, the guns had been fired, targets hit in a split-second.  
  
Caleb remained motionless the few minutes after in which there was little spoken while the bodies were taken care of. The only noise was the banging of a door across the room, and a few strangled cries. After some time, the executioners left, and an official-looking man in a tight suit told Caleb to take care of the noise.  
  
Following lead, a nauseous and paled Remus entered the room, finding two little boys pounding at the barrier.  
  
Where's Da? one of the twins bellowed, face scrunched up into a red ball. Caleb knelt down, smiling remorsefully, and embraced the two boys together.  
  
The bad men are going to hurt you. he said calmly, hiding his misery from the children. Follow me, it will be fun. We can escape the castle.  
  
He handed a blonde-haired and innocent-looking boy to Remus, and children in arms, they crept their way out of the Beast Division.  
  
Where's Da? the little boy repeated, wiping his teary eyes on his filthy robe. The bad man came in an' he made um leave.  
  
I want my Mama. the other said pathetically, looking up at Caleb.  
  
What's your name? he asked gently, setting the boy down.  
  
  
  
And I'm Corey! his brother piped.  
  
Well Jason, Corey... I don't wanna lie to you. I don't think you're going to see your parents again. The bad men took them away. he explained, taking Jason's small hands in one of his own. And they're gonna take you away too if you don't come with us.  
  
But... But Da said not ta' go with strangers. Corey mumbled, tears welling up in his eyes.  
  
We're not strangers, not really. You know what happens on the moon? Remus asked, bending down to eye level.  
  
Mama and Da put us in the basement in dif'rent rooms, and then they say they love us... And, and that we gotta be good. Jason started.  
  
And then they go upstairs. And... We ent see them after that, not till mornin' when we get our special breakfast.  
  
Wait, they're- Remus asked, eyes wide. Caleb nodded his head, holding the confused boy to his chest for a moment.   
  
It's genetic. Two werewolf parents will inevitably produce werewolf offspring. They've never known another life.  
  
After a short moment of silence, Remus put Corey on his shoulders, Caleb doing likewise.  
  
Your Mama and Da were friends of ours, of sorts. So we're going to take care of you for a while. he offered, heading through the tunnel quickly.  
  
'Till they come back?  
  
Caleb pursed his lips, and swallowed. Your parents might not come back, but you can stay with me us for a while. Sound alright?  
  
they said together, eyes blurring again. Corey had his hands gripped tight to Remus' mane of hair, pulling at such a strength that would be alarming for a boy thrice his age. Out of the corner of his eye, Remus could see that Jason was inflicting the same death vice on Caleb's locks as well.  
  
How in hell do we take care of two werewolf twins? he mumbled once they had drifted off halfway through London in the back seat of the pickup.  
  
We... I don't know, we wing it. I sure as hell don't know the first thing about child care, and with El not around... he said absently, eyes locked onto the road.  
  
Can't we try and find them a new home?  
  
We can't give them to a Muggle adoption center, and the wizarding ones are really strict on regulations. They'd be killed on the spot or sent to a living center... It's worse than prison, it really is. I spent a year there before I got out. Caleb said, breathing irregularly for a moment. We can't take these kids anywhere that handles adoptions...  
  
Caleb, you can't keep them. Remus mused, looking back at the snoring twins. You don't know anything about kids, hell, neither of us do.  
  
They don't have a life if I don't take care of them for now.  
  
You won't be able to work if you have them around, more people will die. Remus pointed out. Caleb shook his head, running a free hand through his messy hair.  
  
I can't... I can''t look them in the eye and deny them life. Their parents died because I failed, and I'm not going to let the same thing happen to them.  
  
  
  
_Moony-  
  
Hey, how's everything? You up for the Quidditch games this weekend? We still have an extra ticket and all that. Maybe you can come stay over here or something till the games. Write me back,  
  
Padfoot  
  
  
  
No can do, full moon's on Saturday night, it'd be too dangerous if the game went on for a long time. I'm not going to deny you and Prongs of your sports obsession. Besides, I have a bit of a crisis here, two of them per say. If I leave the shack I'm fairly positive Caleb would be dead when I got back. Seeya.  
  
Moony  
  
  
_REMUS! HELP! Caleb bellowed from the bedroom the moment Remus set his quill down. Two blonde and laughing blurs shot out of the room, tackling Remus to the floor in a sharp thud.  
  
  
  
Uncle Remmie, c'we go outside an' play? I wanna play Quiddidie. Corey announced. Remus shot Caleb a glare, asking him non-verbally to remove the two parasites from atop him.  
  
I wanna go get some ice cream! C'we peeeeeease go get some ice cream? Jason begged, banging his powerful fists on Remus' chest.  
  
I don't think you two need any more sugar. Caleb said, plucking them into the air by the backs of their grimy robes.  
  
Remus muttered, rubbing his throat.  
  
We need to take them to get some decent robes. Caleb observed as Corey and Jason began to further tear at their clothes.  
  
What, you atcually have some cash?  
  
Only a little bit, I was saving it for myself, but... We have to go for potion ingredients anyway, we might as well pick them up some clothes.  
  
If we go to Diagon they'll be recognized, won't they? Remus asked, plucking Corey off of his brother and holding him up in the air, legs kicking about wildly.  
  
Nah, the Ministry thinks I got rid of them'. We're safe to be seen in public, for a while anyway. he said with a sigh, lunging to catch Jason. God, for four year olds they're pretty tough. he mumbled.  
  
We better get going, before they tear this entire house down.  
  
  
  
Corey, no-Don't touch that-Jason, get back here-  
  
Stand still for a minute-  
  
Jason, PUT THAT BACK-  
  
Don't go back there, come here-No, Jason, knock that off-Don't do-So sorry ma'am, he's a bit unattentive-JASON!  
  
Remus whistled shrilly, making Madame Malkin cover her ears, but the boys finally stopped running amok in the robe shop. Caleb grabbed them by the backs of their new robes, hauling them into the street while Remus paid for the clothes.  
  
Sorry about that. he mumbled.  
  
It's alright... Are those your little brothers? she asked kindly, folding the rest of the secondhand shirts and jeans into a pile.   
  
No, but we're taking care of them. Their parents are gone on vacation, so we landed the little buggers for a while. he lied with an exhausted sigh. Madame Malkin chuckled to herself, smiling at some fond memory.  
  
I used to have little boys like that myself... Just as destructive.  
  
Yeah, sorry about that vase-  
  
Not a problem, it can be fixed. she assured, dropping the piles of clothes into a bag. Well, have fun with the dears. And good luck! she called as he left for the door.  
  
Yeah... We'll need it. he said with amusement, watching the twins escape from Caleb's grasp and dashing through the streets.  
  
  
Hey, Moony!  
  
Hey Padfoot, what's up? Remus asked, panting as he set his bags down at the ice cream parlor.  
  
Eh, my mum's shopping for wedding gifts, dragged me along. It's pretty dull actually... Sirius said offhand,   
  
Wish I had dull... he grumbled, gazing off at the laughing twins, running around the patio chairs, Caleb at their heels.  
  
Hey, isn't that that Caleb guy, the guy you live with? Sirius asked after a moment.  
  
  
  
He looks a bit young to have kids that old.  
  
They're not his.  
  
Brothers? But they look nothing alike...  
  
He kind of adopted them, not really by choice... We're taking care of them now.  
  
No way! Sirius gapped, smiling. Remus nodded, and Sirius hit his leg, laughing.  
  
Lucky, I love kids! he said, smiling at the twins as they dashed by, giggling merrily. Remus' eyes went wide, and he smiled devilishly.  
  
Hey Sirius, want to come stay with us for a while, back at the Retreat?  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- I just felt like making a happy chapter, so there ya go... Next one is coming soon, with all it's angsty-goodness. Thanks for the reviews!  
  
**Iggie  
  
Title meaning- Opprimo: To subdue, overpower, surpress


	35. Part XXXV Tiro

A/n- Thanks for staggering back for more!  
  
Disclaimer- My God, do you really think I own anything? Whatever you recognize IS NOT mine. Everything else belongs to my muse, Steve.  
  
Chapter Keywords- Just read it, eh? You'll find out.  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XXXV - Tiro  
  
  
Uncle Remmie, when are we gonna have supper? Corey asked, bouncing on Remus' knee with a pleading face. He had mastered the skill of telling them apart, Corey's face having a long, thin scar trailing down to hs neck, Jason being unmarked for the most part.  
  
Sirius started laughing, arm wrestling the other boy, and loosing quickly. It seemed to amuse him, as he pleaded for a rematch. Again he lost, only being able to resist for a matter of seconds.  
  
C'we go play Quiddidie? Jason asked after loosing interest in the contest.  
  
What's Remus asked.  
  
Sirius informed, nodding his head. Remus and the boys were already outside, armed with battered brooms, though Sirius was stopped.  
  
Hey, Black, help me in here for a minute. Caleb asked from the kitchen.  
  
Skin that for me, will you? he asked, pointing to a small deer lying on the table. Unsure of himself, Sirius took up the knife, and began tearing away small patches of skin.  
  
You and Remus close? Caleb asked after a few minutes, stirring some sort of stew.  
  
I guess so, we get along better than him and James, for the most part anyway. Cause of Lily, it's kind of complicated.  
  
Typical, everything in that kid's life is complicated.  
  
Yours too, right? I mean, in general, it'd be hard for werewolves... Sirius said, trailing off for a second. I don't mean to sound offensive or anything, don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to generalize-  
  
No, it's okay. You're right, which is pretty damn rare for someone unaffected. Caleb mused. He's lucky as hell to have found you, you know that Black? There's a few hundred werewolves in Britain, and all but us have lives of solitude and concealment. Only a few ever find companions... Those kids I'm taking care of, their parents were both werewolves. They were killed in front of us, just for trying to live normal lives and raise a family.  
  
That's horrible, I mean, it defies ever basic law of guaranteed living the Ministry ever established! Bunch of bloody hypocrites!  
  
You're pretty smart for a Gryffindor. he laughed, simmering a pan of vegetables from the garden. Yeah, it's pretty shitty for us. Those kids inherited the curse, so they'll never know what it's like to have a normal life. Werewolves were never meant to have children.  
  
So Moony can't have kids? Jesus... His whole life is screwed. Sirius mumbled, throwing aside another strip of skin. I never really knew before how bad it was. Last year and all, it was just a small problem once-a-month that we found a fix for. None of us ever really took the time to sit down and imagine how much it alters his life.  
  
Steals away everything you have, making you start from scratch. Caleb said absently, shaking his head. He's been lucky as hell, what with his brother early on in life, and me saving his sorry ass from the Ministry before they registered him. Now he has you and that rich kid he's always telling me about, Jesus, he's the luckiest of our kind I've ever met. The Fates or something are pleased with him.  
  
Caleb, HELP! Remus yelled from outside. Caleb busted through the door, face stuck up with worry from the pleading yell. The moment he saw what was wrong though, he nearly burst out laughing, Sirius showing no such restraint.  
  
Get them off of me!  
  
Sad sight really. Our Hogwarts bad-ass getting _his_ ass kicked by four year olds. Sirius said with a smirk.  
  
  
  
I just don't like the idea of raising kids that can overpower you. Remus mumbled over dinner.  
  
Life's not fair, get over it. Caleb said with a short smile, watching Corey and Jason fight over the last slab of venison.  
  
How are you two gonna feed them? I mean hell, they eat as much as Remus does.  
  
  
  
What, they do! Sirius exclaimed, grinning.  
  
He's got a point though... Remus said. We can barely feed ourselves, let alone two more.  
  
And I still have to keep reserves for my rescues. Caleb groaned, setting his fork down and standing. He took the twin boys by their robes, dangling them in the air to stop the bickering, and carried them off to the bedroom.  
  
Who gets the couch? Remus asked, raising an eyebrow. All three of the boys looked at one and other, and in a flash, there was a death-fight to claim the sofa.  
  
  
  
Two weeks of laughs and piggish living went by quickly. Now that Sirius had gone to James' for some quality Quidditch time, Remus and Caleb took alternating shifts working. Most of their income was from any odd-job down in the villa, bringing in just enough money for food and anything else they needed to amuse the twins. By start of July, it was obvious that they couldn't keep Corey and Jason. Sadly, Caleb went on a hunt to find any adoption center or family that would care for two werewolves.  
  
  
_Remus,  
  
No luck on homes yet, but there's other news. I've got a woman, maybe in her twenties, coming to the Retreat in a few hours. She's hurt pretty bad, she got beat in her village this morning. Help her out, and try to keep the Terrible Two off of her. Chaoi.  
  
_Damn, this wont be easy with Sirius back here. he grumbled.  
_  
_No sooner had Remus set down the letter, delivered by an angry express owl, the door creaked open. He lunged forward in time to catch the woman before she keeled over, and he helped her to the couch.  
  
Who's that? Corey asked, biting his thumb as he came inside.  
  
A friend. he said simply, smiling at her for a minute. Can you go find Sirius?  
  
Is she sick? the little boy pondered. 'Cause Mama knew a potion for sick wolfs.  
  
No, she isn't sick. Please, go find Sirius?  
  
He went swimmin' with Jason.  
  
Go get him will you?  
  
Be back! he said happily, running off in a blur.  
  
  
  
  
Are you sure you're gonna be alright? Sirius asked again, eyes not meeting her own. His gaze was elsewhere at the moment. Remus cleared his throat, warning his friend to look up before he was kicked.  
  
I think I can manage now, thank you both. she said. I really have to get back, your friend booked me passage to Norway for a while, I need to get... Going... she trailed off, glaring down at Sirius. He was once again focusing only at her upper chest, and she responded by gingerly bringing her knee up to his gut.  
  
Bug off. she snapped to him, and slammed the door shut.  
  
God Sir, I can't believe you. She's been through hell and you have the nerve to stare at her like that. Remus said with a roll of his eyes.  
  
What, she was hot! he said defensively, in a small voice, rubbing his stomach.  
  
Well she was... After a glance at the clock, he cursed, and scrambled about the messy room for his clothes. I have to get off too, I'm supposed to meet James in a little while. Sure you're not going to come?  
  
I was planning on taking the Terrible Two up to my brother's for a while, scare them into not having kids for a few more years. I still don't understand how you can get them to actually behave... he said with a smile, grabbing Jason as he ran by and pinning him at his side.  
  
Eh, I've always had a way with kids. Well, I'll see you around, all of you. Sirius started, but paused as he opened the door. Scooping up the child in his arms, he hugged a goodbye, and tossed him carelessly to Remus, Corey laughing all the while.  
  
  
  
Romolus said gruffly, words cut off as he was tackled to the ground by the boys.  
  
Remmie, ya never said ya had a twin like us! one of them piped.  
  
Well, this is my brother Rom, but he isn't my twin. Remus explained, snatching the two boys as Shelly came in.  
  
Er, please tell me those aren't yours... she started, Romolus going starch white.  
  
Remus, what the h-  
  
Oh God, no. They're not mine. Well, not really... he snorted, grabbing Jason by his robes before he broke anything valuable. They're kind of, well, me and Caleb got landed with them. The Ministry executed their parents, and no one wants to take in two little werewolves. Shelly, you might want to lock them up in a safe bedroom until they calm down. They busted into my chocolate supplies after Sirius left. he added, advice immediately taken.  
  
They're afflicted? Both?  
  
Parents were cursed, and it passes through birth. Caleb's paternal instincts kicked in and he refuses to give them up until we find them a good home.  
  
Do _not_ look at me. Romolus said quickly. Anyway, glad you're here... It's great to see you back on your feet again.  
  
Caleb needed a well-deserved break with hsi bottle of aspirin.  
  
Poor bloke...  
  
Optimism has its advantages. he said dryly, peering into the kitchen. You mind if I raid? We're broke, and the Terrible Two eat more together than me, you and Sirius combined.  
  
Raid away, we're financially stable for the most part, we can spare a few slabs of steak for a hungry traveler. he said with a smile, sitting down at the kitchen table. Off in the back of the small house, he could hear two very whiny boys running all over his bedroom, Shelly trying to order them still.  
  
Those things will kill you, eh? Man, I don't understand how things so small can pack so much energy.  
  
They're werewolves, add the unnatural strength to the bounciness of an ordinary four year old and you've got a three-foot demon from hell. Remus said through mouthfuls of an oversized sandwich.  
  
So what're you gonna do with them once school starts?  
  
Remus set down his snack, shrugging to himself. I think Caleb wants to keep them, hell, I _know_ he wants to keep them. It's so improbable that anyone would ever take them in as actual children and give them proper care...  
  
A single eighteen year old renegade can't take care of two boys on his own. Romolus said skeptically.  
  
You don't know Caleb...  
  
  
  
Uncle Remmie, I'm scared. Jason confessed, climbing up on Remus' lap. He set down his books and vials of potion, and looked at the boy with a smile.  
  
You've done this before, it won't be any different.  
  
But Mama and Da aren't here... he said quietly, biting his thumbnail nervously.  
  
Me and Caleb are, it'll be alright. he tried uneasily. His lack of experience with children, not to mention just people in general, was making it very difficult to soothe a werewolf at the point of tears.  
  
Tell you what. If you tough it out tonight, I'll take you out for hot fudge sundae's tomorrow. Just us.  
  
Corey ent coming? I get um all to myself?  
  
Remus nodded, and the little boy cheered up considerably.  
  
  
_Best way to a werewolf's heart is through his stomach.  
  
That's not true El, I mean... Is that roast beef?  
  
  
_Just us.  
  
  
All throughout the night, a wolven Remus Lupin had to endure the pathetic cries of the twins. Off in the distance, through the cracking cement walls, he could hear Caleb barking in distress, trying to calm the two distraught boys. For hours on end they wailed on, until slowly, the cries faded to barely audible whimpering.  
  
Once the sun had dawned, Remus and Caleb staggered out of their cells as two bloody messes, and picked the silver locks of the other confinements. Picking a boy apiece, they emerged a minute later and trudged upstairs for the shower.  
  
  
You alright? Remus asked lazily, offering a sodden towel for the boy to clean himself up with. Corey nodded his head, wincing as he fumbled to wipe away a wound.  
  
Here, let me get it. Remus tried, pulling his wand from his back pocket. He dabbed up the trail of blood, and inexpertly closed the gash.  
  
Not as good as your mum I suppose, but it's the best I can do.  
  
C'we get our sundae's now? I' hungry. he said quietly, smiling. And can we bring Corey too? And Caleb?  
  
Remus agreed, washing his face thoroughly and flocking his bangs down to cover the new array of scars.  
  
Why do you hide em all? Jason asked lazily, picking at one of his many scabs. They go away after a while, no use hidin' em.  
  
With a small smile, Remus shrugged. I just don't like them...  
  
I do. They make me look tough. Me an' Corey always have a contest ta see who has the most.  
  
You take pride in your scars?  
  
Uh huh. The other kids said they were cool. he piped happily, bouncing down from his seat on the sink and carelessly running off to find his brother.  
  
  
  
Jason, get off of him! Caleb yelled, snatching the boys shirt and plucking him from the ground. Corey looked up, red faced, and spit on the ground, a jumble of blood and tooth going with it.  
  
Neath, you knofed ou' some teef. he said with a smile, poking at the three small specks. Caleb rolled his eyes, and pulled Corey to his feet.  
  
You alright? he asked, voice low with concern.  
  
I'm arigh'. the unfazed boy said, running off after his twin without bothering to cry over his teeth. Rolling his eyes at life, Caleb pocketed the three teeth for potion use, and let out a sigh.  
  
They're pretty odd. he commented, sipping the rest of his milkshake.  
  
Do you mean to imply that you aren't?  
  
Point taken. Caleb mumbled. I wish I could keep the little runts.  
  
You can't afford it, and you don't have the time. Shouldn't you be getting back to work, I mean, hell...  
  
People are counting on me, I know. The entire Werewolf Underground praises me.  
  
Who're they?  
  
All the people I've helped out, and some that my projects have helped. There's a small congregation of them in southern Canada, in a small town off the shores of Lake Ontario. A good hundred I'd say. he said, watching the boys tackle each other, both trying to win possession of the last candy bar.  
  
Hundred? Jesus, I didn't know you did that much.  
  
I've been at it for years. he said simply, crossing his arms. Funny though, I'll be wanting to retire before I hit twenty.   
  
  
  
Yeah? What...  
  
Let's go to that Underground, surely somewhere there will take the Terrible Two. It'd be safer, and they'd grow up in an environment where they'd be accepted as a normal person. There isn't anything more you could wish for, for us anyway. Remus pointed out. Caleb grimaced, as though the words hurt him in some way, and he clenched his fists tight.  
  
You don't get it... I want to keep them.  
  
  
  
he barked irritably, causing the twins to momentarily stop their game of tag. Dammit, I'm not going to let them go.  
  
Remus bit his lip, nodding his head a few times, at loss for proper words. What could he say? There was a parental instinct inside of Caleb that has finally emerged, and at a very inconvenient time.  
  
Take a break. he said at long last. Stop being the hero and double-agent... Go take some time off, live in the Underground with our kind. Keep both of them, and raise them there...  
  
Too many people will die. A roomful of them will have their lives cut short.  
  
Stop being s selfless, it's wrong. Human nature, remember? Don't you have any care for your own needs? To hell with them, alright? Stop being the hero and be happy, God knows you deserve it. Remus snapped. He extended his hand slowly, pointing at the tumbling, laughing, and cheerful boys across the yard. They deserve it.  
  
Caleb's eyes went out of focus, and he stared off at nothing for quite some time. Finally regaining his composure, he nodded only once, and swallowed.  
  
I'll get you an internship at the Ministry. It would be simple really... I tell them I'm moving, and that you're to take my place. You look old enough and they wont recognize you from before. I can get some help in forging legal papers and bloodwoork, create you an alternate identity. he said monotonously. But only for a year. Next summer, I'll come back. This is only temporary.  
  
Remus smiled to himself, and shook to close the deal.  
  
Let's go now, to the Underground. I'm sick of living here anyway.  
  
  
  
Remus threw the last of the bags into the pickup truck, wiping his forehead of sweat. The afternoon sun had been unforgiving, and the entire lot was burning in the heat.  
  
Did you get everything? Caleb asked, conjuring up two bottles of water for the sleep twins. They took their drinks, and climbed into the rear of the car, curling up on pillows for a nap.  
  
Everything but the vials and all that, it'd break on the trip.  
  
What about El's notes?  
  
Boxed with all the books and Cor's journal.  
  
With a heavy sigh, Caleb shrugged, and jumped into the battered vehicle, Remus seating next to him.  
  
How long is it going to take?  
  
The transport station is four hours, and once we get across the continent, it'll be another three hours until we're near the site. After that, we'll have to drive around and try to find it.  
  
And you expect the runts to behave the entire time? he asked, looking back through the window at the sleeping children as the truck slowly pulled away from the shack.  
  
Not at all. This is why we have a supply of chocolate on hand. he said, nudging a brown bag of candies next to him.  
  
Nice parenting. Remus snorted.  
  
What, it shut them up!  
  
Yeah, only so they get even more hyper five minutes later.  
  
Well then you just give them another piece.  
  
Very bad logic...  
  
Oh, bugger off... Caleb grumbled.  
  
  
  
We there yet? It's gettin' boring. Corey whined, poking his head through the back window.  
  
Almost, only another hour I'd say.  
  
I gotta use the bathroom. Jason announced with ultimate grace.  
  
You just went twenty minutes ago. Remus noted.  
  
Well I gotta go again.  
  
Caleb rolled his eyes, and stopped at what had to be the tenth rest stop since they had entered North America. The two boys ran off for the toilets, Caleb following after shortly.  
  
You are a wizard, are you not? someone asked, thick with accent. Remus turned around slowly, finding a small girl, barely large enough to seem ten or eleven, looking up at him with curious blue eyes.  
  
Are you lost? he asked calmly, looking around for her parents.  
  
You _are_ a wizard. I knew it. she declared proudly, holding out her hand. After a moment, Remus shook it shortly, wondering what was going on.  
  
My name is Gabriella, I was told you would be coming. she said, trying to bit down her heavy French. Seeing his confused look, she bowed her head, and started over.   
  
I am from the Underground, I am here to help you slip through. Here, take these. she said, handing him a packet of papers. They will let you through the Muggle securities.  
  
Er, thanks... he said, looking around. He wasn't quite sure to believe the little girl or not. He looked back to ask her if it was some joke, but found her to be gone.  
  
What're those? Caleb asked, the boys o his shoulders as he came up from behind with a hamburger in his free hand.  
  
Some really odd little witch just gave me them. he said, handing them over. Caleb shuffled through them, and smiled.  
  
Wicked! Fake ID's, we'll have no trouble passing the border now... Damn, they even got some for the runts. he said offhand, heading back to the rusty blue truck. He deposited the kids in the back, handing them some more candy and burgers, and paused.  
  
Can you drive for a while? I need to sleep.  
  
I don't know how to drive...  
  
Ah, it's simple. I can have you going in five minutes. Caleb said with a grin.  
  
  
  
Surprised we're still alive. he mumbled, finally taking over the wheel. With a guilty smile, Remus shifted back to the passenger seat, glad to be gone of the wretched machine.  
  
I'll make a note to take drivers lessons, it might come in handy sometime. Remus said, face pale from nearly crashing several times.  
  
So anyway, how far are we? he mumbled, watching as tree's blurred by on an abandoned highway.  
  
Well, after the crossover, we shouldn't be too far now. Those papers saved so much time... American's are pretty uptight on security and all that. Paranoid if you ask me. Caleb mused, pulling off the main street to some dirt road. I'd say another half hour until we're in the general area.  
  
And then what?  
  
We look around, and pray we're not lost.  
  
And if we do get lost? You didn't have enough money to refill the gas tank, we'll be stuck. Remus pointed out, looking back to check on the boys every few minutes.  
  
Er... Well, I brought my crossbow. There's sure to be deer out here somewhere...  
  
  
  
**A/n- Thanks for reading this far! I love you all ::group hug::  
  
::looks about nervously::  
  
Sorry bout that. No clue what possessed me to do that... ::is pretending hug never happened::  
  
Sorry for that too. A few too many painkillers I think....  
  
  
**Iggie  
  
**  
Thank you to- The Happy Neopian (hehehe, Rommie-kins) Moon, Lara, Amphitrite, smile7499, FlamingElf, sasina, Kittylace, Tawny Wolf, Anya Dvorak, Kimagure, Reckless Abandon, Mercutia13579, Rykatu*L, Lyria Padfoot and all my other recent reviewers that I cannot remember off the top of my head at the moment. YOU ARE THE BEST a writer could ever possibly wish for :)  
  
  
Fic of the day- Witch, Wolf, and Serpent by Nytd**: Gotta love it. Involves random coolness with Remus and Severus (not slash). Check it out.  
  
  
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	36. Part XXXVI Argentum Admonitio

A/n- Wow.... Another one down, eh? This goes out to all my Canadian friends. :) And for those wondering, all my weird titles come from Latin words that relate someway to the chapter in question.  
  
Enjoi.  
  
Disclaimer- Oh bloody hell, I don't even want to bother at this point.  
  
Rating- PG-13 for the most part.  
  
Chapter Keywords- And thus we meet the Underground...  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XXXVI - Argentum Admonitio  
  
  
  
Are we even close yet? I'm starting to loose the feeling in my head. Remus said with a small grimace, as Jason, half asleep, was pulling murder on is hair.  
  
Should be right here, but... Caleb mumbled, shifting the boy on his shoulders. Remus set Jason down, and started to wander through the thick forest in search of anything man. They had been rambling on through the woods for a good two hours, having found no such sign of humans anywhere.  
  
  
Hey, look! he yelled, bringing the three nearby. He had stumbled upon a gate, run over with foliage, wedged in-between a rock formation down by a shallow creek.  
  
That could be it. Caleb said with a hint of uneasy excitement.  
  
Remus set his hand against the gate to push it open, and cursed sharply. Before he even had time to tear at the pain, a gun was held to his face.  
  
What business do you have here? the man asked, another creeping out from behind, staring Caleb down. He clutched the boys close to him, swallowing once.  
  
We're trying to find the Underground. Remus said through a tight grimace, trying not to move.  
  
You have to right to be here. the other man said.  
  
You've got to be kidding me! Caleb started, but shut up as the gun was pointed at his head. He dared not make a move for the papers they had been given before. Both twins held tight to his legs, remaining silent, they knew what a gun was, and that guns killed Mama and Da.  
  
Leave now. he said monotonously.  
  
I came here for a reason, we're trying to find the Underground.  
  
You don't belong in the Underground, now leave.  
  
Letting out a breath, Remus held up his hand, which was searing white in the palm.  
  
You have the nerve to tell me I don't belong?  
  
The two men glanced at each other, and lowered arms.  
  
Bloody idiots, having a silver gate. Remus mumbled, being led through the small passage.  
  
Anyone who touches the gate, we kill.  
  
Oh yes, _very_ nice policy. You almost killed your bloody founder! he snapped.  
  
Behind a few paces, Caleb smiled, and waved to the two astonished elders.  
  
one finally blurted out. Oh Jesus, I've been wanting to meet your for so long-  
  
So sorry about that, it'll never happen again-  
  
Looks like you're famous. Remus mumbled, still rubbing his blistering hand.  
  
  
After nearly half an hour of hiking, the dysfunctional family was lead into a hidden village, not much larger than where Romolus lived, though it was the most amazing either had ever seen. And entire town of werewolves.  
  
This is incredible. Caleb said in awe, walking around the little town, people waving happily at him. The two men, who introduced themselves as Keith and Michael McClasin, led them to a little house in the middle of the village.  
  
You're things will be brought up soon enough. Keith, the larger of the two, said with a nod.  
  
Make yourselves at home.  
  
  
I'm gonna go walk around... Remus mumbled, shutting the door behind him as he left.  
  
It was wrong, part of him said quietly. The perfect life here was wrong...   
  
Seating himself outside of a little restaurant, he nodded his head to a waitress, wondering how to pay.  
  
You're new here, aren'tcha? she asked with a sweet smile. Yeah, you look clueless.  
  
Just came in today.  
  
So what's your story? I don't mean to be nosey, but I've been here since the beginning, I like to know everyone. she said, sitting down opposite of him, calling inside the building for a steak platter.  
  
  
  
Oh, never mind. I'll find out eventually.  
  
Actually, I'm not staying. Remus said quietly, causing her to blink a few times.  
  
  
  
I'm leaving, it's rather complicated... See, I came here with Caleb-  
  
she gapped.  
  
Uh, yeah... He helped me out a while back, I've been living with him. he said, chuckling at her stunned face. He has some things to take care of now, so I'm taking over back home.  
  
Wait wait wait. she said, slapping her hands down on the table. You mean to tell me that he's retiring?  
  
No, taking a break.  
  
And _you're_ filling his shoes?  
  
Remus said, biting his lip to stop himself from laughing. She was staring at him as though there wasn't another creature like him in all the world.  
  
  
  
So, how much is this? he asked as his plate was dropped i front of him.  
  
No charge. the girl said in a daze. He shrugged, stabbed the meat with his fork, and downed it quickly.  
  
  
  
Hey, what're you doing?  
  
Remus looked up at a tired Caleb, worn out from a day of child-care. He flopped onto one of the chairs, sparking the fireplace for light.  
  
Skimming through Cor's journal... I can't figure out why he stopped writing...  
  
Caleb said simply.  
  
  
  
Well, that was Elise's theory, as he stopped writing a few pages after he said he wasn't feeling well, and it was at the right point in cycle for our illness. he explained.  
  
Makes sense... Remus mumbled, flipping to the last pages. But somehow it just doesn't fit... I don't know if I'm just delusional or something, but I think he's still alive.  
  
Eh, suit yourself. Caleb said with a yawn, leaning back contentedly. So how long are you going to stay?  
  
Leaving tomorrow.  
  
You can spare a few days for this, it's great. No worries at all.  
  
I've lived paranoid too long, this place is freaking me out. Not having to hide myself is too much to get used to... I already repacked my stuff. I'll be gone when you wake up.  
  
Did you get all the papers?  
  
  
  
Well, then all I can do is wish you luck, and pray you dont get caught too quickly.  
  
  
  
_Remus  
  
Hi. Its Jason just wrightin ta say hi. Im learnin how too wright beter. Com back sown.  
  
Jason  
  
  
Kaleb is teachin us to right beter. You shuld come bak, its real funy when me an Jason get to go swiming with Matt. Hes a wearwolf two. See you later.  
  
Corey  
  
_Remus smiled, and stuffed the sloppy letters in his pocket. Three weeks he had been working in the Magical Creatures Division of the Canadian Ministry, and so far, there hadn't been any captures. for the small amount they paid him, all he had to do was file papers in a wall of cabinets, and run coffee to his managers ever two hours. No one even suspected a thing, and he was slowly beginning to feel confident in his work.  
  
Setting down his mug of tea, he started on a new stack of papers to fill out.  
  
I could get used to this. he mused.  
  
LET ME GO!  
  
The mail boys and anyone else nearby all moved to the side, calm as can be, as their advisors dragged a boy inside towards the back room. Remus kept his face calm, stealing a glance as the boy no older than himself was pulled back, held down by at least five men. He winked, and the werewolf in question looked back at him in puzzlement.  
  
As the routine carried on in the office, as though nothing happened, Remus casually walked back to the water cooler, pouring himself a glass. No one saw him slip inside after the men left, having caged their prey.  
  
What the hell do you want from me? the dusty-haired boy asked, trying to shred the bars on his cage only to discover they were coated in silver. Cursing, he pulled his hands back, eyes watering up.  
  
I'm here to help you out. Remus said, looking around for the keys.  
  
Oh bloody hell, help me as in putting me out of my misery' and all that bullshit? the kid whined, voice full of satire. Rolling his eyes to himself, Remus pulled his sleeve over his hands and picked up the keys.'  
  
No, helping you as in letting you out and giving you directions to a secretive community of werewolves where you wont get caught. he said quietly.  
  
Is this some kind of trap?  
  
Are you some kind of ungrateful dolt? Remus snapped back, undoing the lock. The boy crawled out, looking around, waiting to be ambushed.  
  
Go out that back door, in the closet. There's a hidden tunnel in the lower left corner. I'm going to smash a window to make it look like you're in the courtyard, it'll throw them off. Keep following the tunnel until you see daylight. Wait there for a few minutes, and run like hell. After that, I'll meet you. Just don't stop running, and stay out of wizarding communities. Remus said quickly, handing the boy his cloak. Muttering to himself, he shoved the boy towards the closet, waiting.  
  
Are you gonna go, or would you prefer being shot in the head a few times? he barked. The kid scrambled for the door, and plowed his way into the tunnel. Waiting a minute, as he heard footsteps coming down the hall and could smell the executioner, he swung a chair through the barred window, pulling them apart.   
  
What the hell happened? his manager yelled, looking around in disbelief.  
  
I dunno sir, I heard a crash, and- Remus started in an uncharacteristically feeble voice, hiding his smirk as he staggered back to his cubical.  
  
Yeah, this is great... Caleb's living it up while I register Hippogriffs. he said in mild amusement, checking off a little box and stuffing the sheet in a folder. Life is so odd...  
  
  
It was very easy to slip out without being noticed. After all, he was a grudge boy, doing nothing important, no one ever came to ask him anything at all. Once outside, he made a mad-dash for the woods, following a fading trail of scent left by the boy. Half an hour later, he stumbled upon the kid, hunched over, trying to catch his breath.  
  
Shit man, how'd you catch up with me? he huffed out.  
  
Werewolf too. Remus said calmly, not letting on that he was just as tired. The boy smiled, shrugging to himself.  
  
Kind of a secret-agent thing going?  
  
Something like that, yes.  
  
Name's Garade. You are?  
  
Remus Lupin... Do you have anywhere to stay? he asked, looking in his deep pockets for a pad of paper and a pen. Without waiting for a reply, he scratched out directions for the Underground.  
  
They'll disintegrate after two hours, so no one finds the city. Just hitch a ride there, tons of Muggles here will give you a lift. Remus said, looking behind him. You'd best be on your way if you want to get to safety in time.  
  
Garade pursed his lips, nodding to himself.  
  
Thanks. Can I repay your or something...  
  
It's my job... Hey, wait a minute. Remus said suddenly, turning back to face his first project.  
  
  
  
When you're there, find a guy named Caleb. Tell him I sent you...  
  
Garade smiled, and dashed off into the setting sun. With a sigh, he kicked a stone on the ground thoughtfully.  
  
One down, about a hundred more to go... Remus grumbled. Damn, I wish I knew how to Apparate. That trek back to work doesn't seem very inviting. he reflected with a sigh of exasperation.  
  
  
  
Lupin, where have you been? the office manager snapped as he slipped back into the department.  
  
Had a nasty encounter with some bad coffee, sir.  
  
Ah... Same thing happened to Johnson last week. I'll have to check on that... Anyway, get back to work.  
  
Smiling almost smugly, Remus nodded, and sat down in his Eco-Swivel chair as if it were a decorated throne.  
  
  
  
_Hey kid,  
  
We got a little visitor last night. Good going, you actually got one out alive. Keep it up and I'll have to watch myself... Guess what? Chicks dig kids. Never would have guessed that two annoying little brats are an automatic conversation piece for chicks. This place is great...  
  
I have to go, I'm being stared down by this waitress again. Adios,  
  
Caleb_  
  
  
_Wish I could be in paradise right now, but alas, I'm here in this hellhole of paper work and angry office managers..._  
  
Remus dropped his pen as another victim of the Ministry Hunters was dragged in. As normal, there was no chaos in the room, people merely moved aside to allow the men pass. Tapping his pen as casually as he could, Remus watched as another man, much older than himself, was carried off to his prison.  
  
  
  
What the hell do you want kid?  
  
Shut up and listen to me if you want out of here. Remus snapped. God, are they always so ungrateful to see me?' he mused.  
  
The man remained silent as Remus picked the lock, looking around for a plausible escape. Boarded up since the last escape, the windows were now a no-go.  
  
Hold this for a second. he finally decided, brandishing his own tattered wand. Quizzically, the man took it, and Remus instructed him on what spell would de-ward the wall and blow it up. Handing him a slip of paper with instructions, Remus bowed his head as the old man ran off at full speed.  
  
Any suggestions Lupin? his manager asked several minutes later, having tracked Remus down by the coffee machine.  
  
Move the holding cells to the basement, they'd have less chance of escape. Remus lied, knowing about half a dozen different tunnels out of the building. Old fire exits and emergency escapes, he mused.  
  
Not too bad a thought... I'll look into that kid. Maybe we can get you a promotion to guard, you're a strong lad, quick on your feet. he said after looking the paper-pusher over a few times.  
  
Score.'  
  
  
  
  
Moony! Hey! Sirius said with grace as he jammed the Retreat door open. He and James came in, dropping small bags at the door, looking around cheerfully.  
  
What're you two doing here? Remus asked, looking about for his laundry. It was an old habit of his to never wear shirts unless necessary, from days spent in blisteringly hot factories of his childhood.  
  
My parents are at it with my uncle again. Sirius said, immediately heading for the rusty refrigerator. He keeps borrowing money from my mum, and dad exploded about it this time.  
  
We couldn't crash at my house either, we're renovating. James added.  
  
Renovating... Right.  
  
Sorry to just barge in, but we don't have anywhere else to go. he said quietly, biting his lip. And... Uh...  
  
What, spit it out. Remus said as he went about to partially clean the little house.  
  
Sorry about before. James finally mumbled.  
  
  
  
When I loose my temper, I say a lot of shit I don't mean, I mean... Dammit, this is hard to explain. James grumbled, sitting down on the creaky sofa.  
  
Look, you don't have to apologize for a few minutes of jealous rage-  
  
Yeah I do. James interrupted, absently running a hand through his messy black hair. Seriously, I said some things I regret, it still bothers the hell out of me... Padfoot says it's because I never had proper parents bringing me up, cause even when they were alive they were _never_ home. It's not an excuse though... I've been a complete jerk, and I wanna start over. he said, pulling such a solid and stern face Remus was mildly afraid someone was using Polyjuice Potion to impersonate James.  
  
I feel like shit about everything I've said, all the misplaced werewolf comments and all... I just, I don't know, I loose my composure. So... Friends, still?  
  
Remus cracked a smile, and nodded.  
  
Do what you want, I don't care. You're forgiven of past sins as long as you never try to look serious again in your life.  
  
James let out a long sigh, nodding as he grinned. Thank God, that was harder to do than telling Lil I loved her.  
  
It's in the male blood to fear those words as they imply commitment of some sort. Remus said offhand.  
  
Yeah, but once you say it, damn... he shook his head, drifting off to his dreamy little world of closet snogs.  
  
  
  
What're you working on? Sirius asked, munching on a sandwich.  
  
Trying to decode all the work in this... Remus muttered, scratching off another possible translation.  
  
What is it?  
  
This old werewolf left all these runes and dead languages in his journal so no one would steal his work, but it's almost impossible to decipher... We're trying to find a cure or any kind of counter-curse.  
  
James came up from behind, leaning on Remus' back.  
  
Hey, cool. Southern C'hien elves, haven't seen that in ages. he said idly, cookie crumbs dripping down the back of Remus' robes.  
  
C'hien elves?  
  
Yea, when I was little, my rents were always off on business trips. I found a bunch of their old books in the library after I broke in, and kinda taught myself some of it. he pondered, reaching over and flipping the pages.  
  
You broke into your parent's library, and taught yourself dead languages? Remus asked, blinking up at his friend.  
  
Pretty much.  
  
My God Prongs, you're too weird... he mumbled with a grin. But regardless, you might save me a few years of headaches. Can you translate for me?  
  
Most of it. I don't remember part of the alphabet, but I can do my best guess. Surprised I even remember any of it, what with all my plans taking up the majority of my thought capacity. he said, finally taking a seat at the kitchen table.  
  
This is one odd fellow... he mumbled minutes later, a piece of scrap parchment covered in fragments of words and sentences. Of what's here, all I can figure out is a load of rubbish about his sick wife and something about black dragon teeth.  
  
So that's what ti was! Remus said quickly, flipping to another page in the journal. He pointed to a small sketch of a long tooth, previously of unknown origins.  
  
Yeah, Californian Longtail. They've been extinct for ages. Sirius remarked.  
  
Hey, whadaya know, he actually paid attention in Care of Creatures. James laughed. Figured he was too busy staring Callie down the whole time.  
  
Oh bite me, like you and Lily weren't mentally getting at it.  
  
Hey! You little-  
  
Remus blocked out the conversation, looking at the small scrawl James had scattered about his own page. There was a connection, his subconscious was screaming it, but he couldn't fit the pieces together.  
  
James, try this, right here.  
  
That messy scribble? Too illegible.  
  
Just try, it could be important.  
  
If you say so.  
  
  
  
**A/n- Another one down, eh? Well, the next one should be up soon, so keep your eyes peeled. :) And for a few who have mentioned my Remus and Sirius being perfect for each other, sorry to say folks, but I'm not in the slash dig. I'm not some anti weirdo or anything, its just not what I write. So if you're waiting for that couple, dont hold your breath. I'm convinced that canon Marauders were perfectly het, and my fic will follow those lines.  
  
Thank you newbies, I love you all! New reviews are so fun. And oldies comin' back for more. Come to think of it, I'm hyper. Which is very scary as I'm never hyper. Ever.  
  
I shall have to go write my other fic now, it's terribly depressing and will undoubtedly restore me to my normal self. Chaoi.  
  
  
  
**Iggie  
  
**  
Fic of the Day- Not Myself by Saerry Snape- **AU in which Harry grows up on the streets and is eventually brought to Hogwarts. he has a tricky accent though that may annoy the very pants off of you, and you you don't enjoy Snape, be wary of this. It has a strange sense of oddity to it, but it's quite addicting...


	37. Part XXXVII Of Three's and Summersets

A/n- Well, this thing gets longer and longer... It's controlling my life! Not that I have a life...  
  
Disclaimer- Lalala....  
  
Rating- Mild chapter. For now... I guess.  
  
Chapter Keywords- You'll find out eventually.  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XXXVII - Of Three's and Summerset  
  
  
  
You know, this is going to drive me to my grave. Remus mumbled irritably. James let out a disgruntled sigh, leaning the seat back. Before any warning was issued, the back legs gave way and he crashed to the floor, Sirius laughing fanatically.  
  
I knew you guys couldn't go more than two hours looking so dead-serious. Something like that always happens. he said as James rubbed his head.  
  
Alright Moony, I've had enough of the damn decoding. Now my brain _really_ hurts. he grumbled, fixing the chair with a flick of his wand.  
  
Only a few more pages, please? Remus asked, mocking a childish frown.  
  
Not gonna work, Lily tries that on me all the time. James laughed, grinning to himself. It works with her though...  
  
I'm going to go crazy if I don't figure this out, I mean... I _know_ there's something simple that I just don't see. Remus mumbled, skimming through the journal once again.  
  
Don't get your pants in a bunch over it, the book's not going anywhere.  
  
Padfoot's right-  
  
That's a personal first-  
  
Just don't work on it for a while, maybe it'll come back to you. James finished.  
  
Sighing quietly, Remus admitted there was some logic to what they had to say. Shoving the books and papers away from him, he crossed his arms and stared his friends down.  
  
What do you suggest we do then?  
  
  
  
_Caleb,  
  
Hope everything's alright down there, and I pray to God the runts haven't killed you. Yet. Anyway, I'm going to stay at Sirius' house for a while, Viator knows where he lives if you need me. Seeya,  
  
Remus  
  
_Handing the letter and a slip of meat to the bird, Remus grabbed his broom and bag, and set off out the door with his friends. He wondered how they were going to get to Sirius' house anyway, as he had no idea how far it would be, but noticed that neither looked worried about travel. They waited a few minutes in the dark, looking at their watches, until at the strike of eight James pulled out his wand.  
  
All he did was hold it out straight for maybe a second, and for no reason at all, a very funny-looking trolly bus had parked itself on Remus' front lawn.  
  
What the- he began, watching as Sirius and James carelessly walked aboard.  
  
Don't worry, it's just the Night Bus. James said, popping his head out a window. Shrugging to himself, Remus hauled himself inside, finding a row of neat little beds and couches. He sat down there, looking around curiously.  
  
When did this come about?  
  
Ah, it's fairly new. I heard about ti from one of our servants. James said as he rummaged his pockets for candy. I set up a tab with them, that's how me and Padfoot got here in the first place. What, you don't think we actually _flew_ here did you?  
  
Where to Mr. Potter? The young driver asked, tipping his hat at James.  
  
My house. Sirius butted in, and the driver took this as a known address, setting off with a jerk.  
  
So you pretty much have your own personal chauffeur?  
  
I guess. James shrugged. Well, I'm gonna sleep for a bit, if no one minds.  
  
Sleep away.  
  
So anyway, what was with all that journal stuff? I had no idea what you and James were going on about earlier. Sirius asked lazily, leaning back on the sofa across the aisle.  
  
The guy that wrote it, Cor, he worked on trying to find a cure for most of his life, the journal covers a hundred and twelve years-  
  
  
  
Our life span is triple than norm... Anyway, we think there's the basis of a cure somewhere in his work, we just have to decode everything and put it together. It's like a really pig puzzle with half the pieces missing.  
  
So you're what, like making history or something?  
  
Rolling his eyes in amusement, Remus nodded. Not many people bother to worry about us, other than ourselves that is. The world is convinced killing us off so it wont spread is the best way of dealing...  
  
That's a bunch of bullshit. I mean, whenever a new disease is discovered, no one goes and shoots whoever has it to keep it from spreading. That's a bunch of shit. Sirius blurted out, causing James to stir in his sleep.  
  
Glad to see someone so... Enthusiastic about it. Maybe you can help at some point. Remus wondered.  
  
Anything I can do, count me in. I mean, if kids like Jason and Corey are being murdered by our own government, I think the system needs a little rebel action.  
  
  
  
Sorry about that. Sirius grumbled, shutting his door behind him as the three ran into his room. I didn't figure Uncle Lou would actually come _here_ to fight.  
  
Noting how uncomfortable Sirius was with the yelling going on the floor below, Remus dug out his wand and cast a silencing charm on the room.  
  
Hey, how'd you do that? Sirius blinked.  
  
Third year Charms... James said offhand, smiling to himself. Lory was in our class that year, remember?  
  
Yeah! She sat next to me...  
  
So obviously you learned nothing. Remus concluded, lying down on the bottom bunk of Sirius' bed.  
  
  
  
So... What're we gonna do? James asked, completely bored after less than half an hour. The silencing charm was beginning to wear down, as every now and then the sound of a shattering vase or a loud yell could be heard from below. They were all more than a bit sick of sitting around.  
  
We could always transform and chase the neighbors around.  
  
Remus can't. James pointed out.  
  
Um... I dunno. We can't leave here, they're about to start world war three downstairs. Sirius mused with a slight tone of disgust.  
  
Remus smiled wickedly, and bit his lip in thought.  
  
Hey James, does the Night Bus do overseas?  
  
I suppose, I don't see why it couldn't.  
  
Grinning, he dug into his satchel, and pulled out a bit of scrap paper. Tapping it thrice and muttering the password, the detailed instructions on how to get ot the Underground revealed themselves.  
  
Care to go on a bit of a road trip?  
  
  
  
Stay back... The guards are a tad, well, pushy. Remus muttered, approaching the gate. He put his hand right up to it, not touching it, but holding closely. A minute later the two brothers popped out, thrilled at first to see the new Simmers. Upon seeing the raven-haired duo behind him though, they went stern.  
  
_They_ are not supposed to be here, this isn't a travel lodge.  
  
Come off it Michael, we need to crash for a while. Besides, I have to check up on a few people. Remus said, walking by them carelessly. James and Sirius followed, after a long pause, and hesitantly wedged by the two very large men.  
  
And this, my friends, is the Werewolf Underground. he said with a sarcastic sort of mysticism. They smiled dumbly, already plotting havoc to wreak upon the little town. Remus read their faces and immediately told them off.  
  
Don't even mess with these people, even the kids can kick your ass. Padfoot should know this well. he reminded, Sirius going red.  
  
Can we go get some food? James asked, stomach lurching again.  
  
Yeah, I'm gonna go track down a few people... I'll meet you back at the restaurant in an hour or so.  
  
Sounds good. they both said, and dashed off together.  
  
  
  
Remus? Hey, what's up? Caleb asked after squinting to make sure the poor lighting wasn't deceiving him.  
  
Not a lot.  
  
Yeah, we got another one of your saves last week. Catching on. he said with an approving sort of nod.  
  
Thanks... Hey, where are the runts?  
  
Oh, they're off with Mel.  
  
  
  
You don't pay attention to who you help, do you kid?  
  
That chick from last Wednesday?  
  
Yes, the chick from last Wednesday. Caleb muttered, face going slightly red. She loves the little brats, so I have her sit every now and then. I'm running out of aspirin anyway... Pity some of those Muggle painkillers can kill us. Damn canine reactions... he said with a short laugh to himself. Sit down, stay a while. he added, conjuring another chair. What brings you this way when you should be working? Caleb asked with the mildest of subtleties.  
  
Sirius and James are here, we ran out of things to do and Sirius' parents were kind of involved in a nasty row.  
  
Whoa whoa, you brought your little posse here?  
  
Don't bug out, they're not going to tell anyone. Remus laughed. Sirius flips out all the time about how unfair everything is for us, he's not about to spoil this. And James, well, as long as I don't get between him and Lily he'll never say a word. Besides, there's food here. That's more than enough to keep him under control.  
  
Caleb let a sigh escape, and he nodded his head. Keep in mind that a good hundred disgruntled werewolves will be after your head if either of them _do_ slip up.  
  
Comforting thought.  
  
And very true. If you stayed here three days you'd understand... You know what it's like to live in secrecy. Here, it doesn't matter. You're normal, and not part of some statistic. It's almost unreal... he said lazily, smiling in a dreamy way.  
  
A little bit of heaven on earth, eh?  
  
The chunk of life we were denied is all right here, most of it anyway. None of us could ask for anything more.  
  
I could. Remus grumbled, scrunching his face up irritably. We shouldn't have to live in seclusion, hiding ourselves. It's no better than a military refugee camp! I mean, dammit Caleb, this might be better than living alone, but it's still wrong. This is just a collection of lost souls, a bunch of people trying to live out their second chances. If this was so great and Godly, why the hell do we have guards at the gates? Why the _hell_ do we live in the middle of bloody nowhere? he snapped, going furious at the thought of what happens to those who weren't so safe.  
  
Because we'll be killed, alright? Deal with it.  
  
I don't want to deal with this! _No one_ should have to deal with this! he said, trailing off miserably. God dammit, I can't stand it. This shit is driving me insane.  
  
Caleb stood up, and turned around, busying himself in the kitchen. There's no point getting passionate over it. he finally said.  
  
No point? Hell, there's a point Caleb, no one else wants to see the point. Things will never change if I don't get all bloody passionate about this, we'll never managed to fix anything.  
  
Just shut up. his friend said quietly, but in such a tone it sounded as though he had shouted violently. Stop it. You can't change a thousand some years of prejudice, alright? This is the first step.  
  
Don't _ever_ tell me I can't change something. Remus shot back, getting to his feet. _Never_. I'm going to be pissed about society, and I _will_ change things. I don't care if it means living five hundred years, because dammit, I will not sit around watching our entire kind suffer because of some old pointless hate. he spat, face contoured in anger. Rage against the world.  
  
Back turned away, Caleb smiled to himself. There was no denying the ferocity in Remus' voice, and the anger swelling inside of him.  
  
_That boy's gonna change the world Elise, I'm serious. Inner Eye or nothing, I know he's going to change it all.  
  
Then we have to help, as much as we can. Could be pointless, but... You're right. He's going to do something radical. I can feel it.  
  
_  
  
This place is kick-ass! Free food! James said happily as a very inflamed werewolf came to join them. Slopping into a seat ungracefully, Remus showed no sign that he had even heard.  
  
Somfin' wong? Sirius asked thickly through what appeared to be his third plate of steak.  
  
  
  
Eh, chipper up! Free food! James repeated all too happily.  
  
God, is that all you think about? Remus snapped. James swallowed his bite, and uncomfortably looked down.  
  
Remus grumbled. Didn't mean to snap at you... I'm in a foul mood.  
  
That much we surmised on our own. Sirius commented lightly. And whatever's bugging you, it's nothing a steak can't cure.  
  
I'd swear if I didn't know any better, I'd say you _were_ a werewolf.  
  
You mean he isn't? the waitress asked, laying down another plate for each of them. Sirius shook his head, and she shrugged, slightly disappointed.  
  
Dammit Moony, did you have to say that? I actually had a chance with her. Sirius growled.  
  
Is that all you think about? Getting laid?  
  
You don't? both James and Sirius asked, mouths ajar.  
  
James, you have a girlfriend-  
  
he said with a devilish smile. Remus cringed at the thought, trying to think of something else before he lost all desire to eat the meal in front of him.  
  
New topic please. he said meekly, tearing apart his slab.  
  
  
Jason and Caleb yelped, jumping down from atop a low roof as if it were a foot. They scrambled forward, and tackled their friend into the mud, laughing joyfully.  
  
Didja get my letters? they both asked as one.  
  
Smiling, Remus stood up as the twins lost their attention and jointly tackled Sirius to the ground. James started laughing, amused that the Beater was so easily taken down.  
  
Who's he? Corey asked, giggling as Sirius tossed him up in the air a few times.  
  
This is my friend James. James, meet the runts, Corey and Jason. Remus introduced. Sirius whispered something to the twins, and before Remus could utter a warning, James joined the party on the ground.  
  
Holy crap! he blurt out, laughing. Strong little buggers! I thought Remus was hard to hold back!  
  
For a good hour they stayed outside, having a mud-fight with the destructive twins and two other young werewolves, until Caleb managed to pull Remus inside without being pelted in slop.  
  
Bad news. he mumbled.  
  
What now?  
  
I found some records from the men in Cor's research team.  
  
How's that bad? Remus asked, sitting down on a comfy plush chair by the crackling fireplace.  
  
You know our illness? The post-moon disease?  
  
  
  
Found out how it originated. he said, pulling out a thick packet of notes from a desk drawer, sitting down opposite his friend. I took some tests when you came down with it, and just now everything's making sense. he said, trying to find a specific file.  
  
  
  
It's not genetic, like everyone thought. There's a few disorders we have from recessive traits that are fairly rare, and this was thought to be one of them... Just a blood-spread illness.  
  
I don't see-  
  
This isn't genetic. It's not bacterial either... For a while I thought all the results were wrong, but I crossed them over with a guy from Cor's team. Caleb muttered almost to himself, finally finding the paper he had been looking for. He handed it to Remus, pursing his lips.  
  
This doesn't make any sense, I mean, everything that this says would indicate the disease is artificial... he mumbled.  
  
Caleb said quite suddenly, bring his fist down on the armrest.  
  
Blinking twice, Remus tried to think over what he heard, and what he saw.  
  
You don't mean... he said slowly, flipping through the packet, comparing notes and results. I mean, no...  
  
It's very true. The entire ordeal is man-made, purposely released, oh, a good four hundred years ago, just to kill us off. It reacts with an altered chromosome we have and triggers failure in the majority of our vital organs. It strikes after the moon because the cells it affects are weak after the transformation, when everything in our body is trying to revert back to human. Caleb informed him solemnly. The immune system can't fight it, because whoever created the virus configured it so our system wouldn't recognize it as a foreign substance for a limited time.  
  
How is it possible to survive then?  
  
Well, it depends on the person in question. We each recover from the moon at a different rate, and you're abnormally fast to switch to full-human. The virus can only survive so long, and after the werewolf is gone completely, the affected chromosome changes back to it's stronger self. This triggers the body into recognizing the virus, and _then_ it can counterattack.  
  
But it's still risky at that point... You'd be so weak after the virus initializes that the immune system couldn't help much by then. Remus muttered, going through the papers, mind blurred. This is... Hideous.  
  
I traced it back to the Russian Ministry, but I can't be positive. I know it originated in Eastern Europe in the 1500's. There are no records at all of any such disease plaguing our kind before then. It came on very suddenly, so that was my first clue that it wasn't nature's course.  
  
Do you have anything to find a cure off of, I mean, if it's like poison, the venom can lead to an antitoxin.  
  
It's impossible to restrain a single part of the virus, and we don't have proper technology to research. Muggles aren't far behind our mechanics... The American wizards are years ahead of everyone else, but even they don't have what can help at this point. Right now, we need to dig up old news and link this all together. Caleb said seriously, face devoid of any emotion.  
  
This makes me sick. Remus spat. Whoever made this could've devoted their skills to a cure, not a plague. Instead of helping they decided to kill us off... Cold hearted bastards. he muttered. Caleb put a hand on his shoulder, snapping him out of his rage.  
  
You're letting the wolf take over. he said calmly. Come on, get back to your friends. I'm going to take some of this to a few other locations where I have contacts, maybe someone can fill in the blanks. You're in no danger, so go back and live a little. I only told you so you could keep an eye out for other clues... Just relax, ok?  
  
  
James and Sirius were fast asleep on the hammocks by the time the silvery moon rose high in the night, illuminating a figure in the light of the fire. Papers scattered about disorderly and a hand on is head, Remus Lupin cursed the grave of whoever caused this problem.  
  
Something isn't right... he mumbled, flipping through pages upon pages of diagrams and research notes from Cor's team, and Caleb. One little thing... Something doesn't add up. Dammit, why can't I figure it out... he grumbled in a rasp voice, throat dry.   
  
You alright?  
  
Jumping up slightly, Remus blinked in the dark, looking about for the owner of the voice. A shadow moved closer, hanging inside the room from the window.  
  
he wondered, using his wand to lighten the fire more.   
  
You look a lot worse since the last time I saw you. the boy said calmly, now sitting on the windowsill. Garade still looked the same. Dark haired and wild-eyed, having such a rebellious aurora about him it seemed to touch everything nearby.  
  
He leaned a pair of crutches against the wall, and Remus saw his leg had been bandaged tightly.  
  
I've got a problem on my hands and it's really pissing me off. Remus said quietly, not questioning the injury.  
  
Then stop.  
  
It's important.  
  
So? It's not going anywhere, and you're not getting any younger. the kid said with a shrug, kicking his feet about absently. Don't worry about some mind boggling mystery, and for Christ's sake, don't be doing paperwork. You can't be any older than me.  
  
Do you want something? Remus finally asked, looking up from the infinite list of numbers.  
  
Not particularly, I'm just a bit curious. Not many people go out of their way to save a complete stranger... But I see now you're far from the ordinary werewolf. he added.  
  
There's no such thing as an ordinary werewolf. You can't generalize a few hundred people who have nothing in common. Remus said dryly, trying to find another packet of papers.  
  
Nothing in common, eh? Garade asked, chuckling to himself. So being on the run from Ministry's, society, and occasionally themselves isn't common to everyone? We're all loners, we're all pretty dark people. And all the new ones, who've had it less than a year, they're all wallowing in self-pity.  
  
Before we were bitten, we were each different. One curse does not change an identity.  
  
You don't believe what you're telling me. he interrupted, still smiling in a cocky manner. I suppose there is some truth to what you're saying though. Before I was bitten, I was a telepath. he said, grabbing his crutches and crawling out the window. He stood there for a moment, leaning, and laughed shortly.  
  
Maybe you should convince yourself of what you preach before you try to convince others.  
  
He hobbled off in the dim light, leaving Remus with his own thoughts.  
  
he muttered to no one in particular.  
  
  
  
**A/n- Well, a bit of a more dark chapter for you, I was getting sick of happiness. My other fic reverted my mind back to angst, so... Yeah. Thanks to all you reviewers... Terra, thank you for the few little grammar-spelling fixes. I don't have spellcheck XP.  
  
Good news for now.  
  
This fic is officially back on track, I hope anyway. It might be a little slowed down, but chapters will continue to come until I can say otherwise. So rejoice, or whatever...  
  
**Iggie  
  
**Fic of the Day- HP and the Legend of the Golden Serpent by Camille: Now, if you haven't read this... My God, do you live under a frickin' rock? With a whopping 1625 reviews, it's safe to say this is a fandom masterpiece. May at first seem too cliched, but give it time, and you will enjoy it. Trust me. 1625 reviews cannot lie.  
  
  
  
Notice! I started the sequel. Yes, I'm ahead of myself... It's only the prologue, and I'm not going to post. But, well, this officially means this fic is gonna be completed unless I have to go back to the hospital or something. So... Rejoice!**


	38. Part XXXVIII Ice

A/n- Back for MORE? Wow, you've got a lot of free time on your hands :)  
  
Disclaimer- Ah, shut up you bloody lawyers. It's people like you that make society so effed up. I think they bloody know who HP belongs to!  
  
Rating- PG-13, as usual.  
  
Chapter Keywords- Well, more devling into the less chipper points of being a werewolf...  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XXXVIII - Ice  
  
  
  
Seeya later Moony, Sirius said, snatching up his bags. He bent down, and hugged each of the little boys as if they were his own. Ruffing their hair, he bid them goodbye, James following suit.  
  
Bye there, Black. a woman said with a wink as she passed by near the city exit. Scowling, James put down his wand, hands at his side.  
  
Why the hell does every chick here ignore me completely? he blurted out.  
  
Remus smiled, as the answer had finally came to him at long last. They smell Padfoot. he laughed.  
  
  
  
They smell the canine scent of Padfoot, and mistake him for being a werewolf because of it. James doesn't have that scent, so they know he isn't cursed. he explained with a stupid grin. Sirius smiled, and concluded he would have to come back more often when in dire need of a girlfriend.  
  
  
  
Lucky bastard. James muttered as the Night Bus pulled in outside of the forest edge, right on a Muggle backroad. They climbed aborad, waving goodbye, James still frowning angrily.  
  
Are ya gonna stay with us? Corey asked as they walked back to the town.  
  
Not for long, but I'll come and visit. Remus said absently, not even noticing how the boys were tugging at his hands.  
  
But why not? Don'tcha wanna stay? Jason questioned.  
  
I can't stay, I have a lot of work to do...  
  
Can't you stay a _little_ longer? Corey pleaded, hanging on his arm.  
  
No, I can't, and will you please stop pestering me? he grumbled, closing his eyes for a moment. Slightly hurt, the boys nodded, and let go of Remus' hands as they ran off ahead.  
  
  
You leaving? Caleb asked, peering inside from the doorway of the small house.  
  
Yes, I have to get back to work. I start again tomorrow and I need to cross a few of these files with Ministry records-  
  
Caleb shook his head, stepping inside quickly. Remus, stop it, alright? he said in a sharp voice, stepping down on the folder Remus was about to pick up. Knock it off.  
  
Knock what off? Remus asked, not looking up.  
  
God dammit, I knew it would be a mistake to send you off to work. Caleb snapped. Stop acting older than you are, alright? Your life isn't in any danger and you're getting depressed again.  
  
I'm fine.  
  
That just proves you're messed up! Caleb almost laughed, pulling Remus' head up. You're eyes are dead, just like they used to be. For once, just do me a favor and forget about all the worlds problems, at least until you're out of school. For God's sake kid, you're sixteen.  
  
You were young when you started, and might I add, you're _still _ young. Don't be a hypocrit.  
  
You're different. Caleb said, not letting Remus collect the papers spread about the floor. You've got friends, and a chance at graduating Hogwarts. Don't blow it off by throwing away your childhood.  
  
After a long pause, he dropped the stacks of papers, and stood up.  
  
Alright then. Remus said at last, not meeting his friend's gaze. I'll try to stop.  
  
Caleb said with a smirk. Now get out of here.  
  
Where to?  
  
Get back to work, as long as you don't take it seriously.  
  
Done deal.  
  
  
  
Just keep going, don't stop. Remus said, offering a small smile to the young boy. Instead of directing him to the Underground, as he looked too weak to make the trip, he told him of a good hideout to lodge at until Rmeus could take him back to his own rented flat in Ontario.  
  
Nodding his head, the boy took the peice of paper and dashed off through the concealed passage.  
  
Seven down... Remus mused, running off a minute later to find his supervisor. After a long conversation full of shouting, a small team was sent off after the boy. None of them knew they were going exactly the wrong direction, thanks to a bit of false information on Remus' part.  
  
Too easy. he said with a smile, putting his feet up on his desk and closing his eyes, security hat tipped over his face.  
  
  
Hey, you alright? Remus asked, sitting down at the booth. The boy had found a small diner to hide in, as it was the perfect place. No Ministry personell would think of looking for an escaped werewolf at a Muggle resturaunt.  
  
Won't stop bleeding, and they took away my wand. the boy said, pulling up the bottom of his shirt to reveal a gun wound in his side. Remus bit his lip, and pulled the kid to his feet.  
  
We'll get back to my place, I'll get it fixed up. he said calmly, helping the boy to stagger out of the establishment.  
  
So who are you? he asked a while later, mounted on his broom and flying low to the gorund through a deserted forest.  
  
Remus Lupin, werewolf double agent. came the short reply.  
  
Cool, like in movies?  
  
Kind of.  
  
Well, that's cool anyway. And thanks, you know, for getting me out of there.  
  
No problem, it's my job.  
  
I didn't think I was gonna make it out alive...  
  
Scary as hell, isn't it? Yeah, I was in your shoes before. Remus said, slowing down as they reached a street. He waited to make sure no cars were nearby, and zoomed across into the next wall of trees.  
  
How'd you get out?  
  
A little help from a friend.  
  
The boy smiled weakly, and held his arms tighter around Remus stomach.  
  
Been on a broom before?  
  
Only once... My sister took me flying out in the counrtyside on my birthday. he trailed off, resting his head against Remus' back. Sensing a bad memory, Remus dropped the subject, and continued on in silence.  
  
  
Here you are, it may not look too great, but it tastes alright. Remus said quietly, handing the boy a plate of lasagna. Pretty much all I can cook, but we can get some fast-food tomorrow.  
  
he mumbled, not digging in right away.  
  
So what's your name, I never caught it.  
  
was all he said, not looking up at all. He continued to poke at his food, never taking a bite.  
  
Something wrong?  
  
You remind me of my father a bit...  
  
Remus sat down at the other end of the couch, careful nto to bother the healing child.  
  
Rough family life?  
  
My mother left after I was bit, and my father was always a bit of a drunk... It got worse when my sister moved out. came the small reply.  
  
Thing's will get better. Once you're well enough to travel I'm going to send you to a small town pretty close by, a bunch of my friends live there. All werewolves, so you wont have to worry about anything. Remus said, changing the subject. He let out a sigh, and stood up, trying to smile encouragingly.  
  
Try to get some sleep... I'll be back tomorrow by ten if nothing sudden comes up. There's some food in the fridge if you need anything, and the bathroom's down the hall to the left. he said, putting a blanket on the couch. Good night Drew.  
  
  
  
With a shake of his head, Remus turned off the lights, and turned in for the day.  
  
  
  
By the time Remus got back from his half-day at work, his rescue had already gotten out of the shower. He was at the sink at the moment, washing off a can of soda that had exploded on him, towel wrapped around his waist.  
  
What happpened to you? Remus asked slowly. The entire backside of the kid was covered in fairly recent gashes, red from the hot shower water. Drew turned around sharply, shrugging.  
  
Scratch myself sometimes, you know. he mumbled, trying to sip his drink casually.  
  
Those aren't scratch marks, they're too deep and too thick. Remus said, striding over and turning him around. Cringing to himself, he took in a short breath, closing his eyes.  
  
Your father do this to you, huh?  
  
Drew tried to move away, but Remus kept a strong grip on his shoulder.  
  
Did he?  
  
The boy nodded, eyes squinted shut.  
  
He... He got really mad at me... I was being too loud, at the moon. he stammered. I couldn't do anything...  
  
He can't hurt you anymore, don't worry. Remus said quietly, pulling to boy into an embrace. It's a good thing the Ministry found you though...  
  
They didn't... My father, he turned me in.  
  
With a frown, Remus nodded his head. There were some words best said silently.  
  
  
  
  
God dammit, it just makes me sick. Remus muttered. Lily had invited him over for dinner, having finally convinced her parents that the Floo Netwrok wasn't the work of the devil. Her sister Petunia had locked herself in a bedroom the moment Remus arrived, followed shortly after by James and a very sooty Sirius.  
  
Mum never cleans the fireplace. he said with a shrug, dusting himself off before he sat down on the couch. So what're we ranting about now Moony?  
  
Lily smiled at the nickname as she always did, and went off to find her parents so everyone could be introduced properly.  
  
Eh, Remus is going on about the Ministry and all that. James remarked, munching on a cracker from the tray on the coffee table. With an approving nod, he stuffed the rest of it in his mouth and tested another.  
  
Not bad for Muggle stuff. he said offhand.  
  
Guys, this is my mum and dad. Lily said, pulling her parents into the living room. They were smiling nervously, trying to size up the boys, guessing at which was James.  
  
Mum, dad, this is Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and James Potter. she introduced. Her red-headed mother smiled again, biting her lip stiffly.  
  
Which is James? Her father asked again, nudging Lily. She rolled her eyes, and pointed to him.  
  
Tall with glasses, Gotcha. he said, nodding his head to James.  
  
Well, if you three can go wash up, dinner's almost ready. Mrs. Evans said, staring at the blackened Sirius with a frown. he raised an eyebrow, not knowing he was terribly filthy.  
  
I don't reckon she like sme too much. he said as the Evans' went out back to set the picnic table.  
  
You're covered in soot you git, that's why she gave you the death glare. Remus pointed out.  
  
Well I _know_ they don't like me. James grumbled, wiping off his glasses nervously.  
  
Of course. You're dating Lily, they're supposed to be over-protective and hesitant to enjoy your presence. Sirius said as he tried to make himself more presentable.  
  
Thanks for the encouragment. he muttered, walking outside with his friends uneasily. Deciding to play it safe, he sat across from Lily, not too close to either parent.  
  
Remus snapped under his bretah as he picked up his knife. It fell to the table with a clank as he held his fingers, face scrunched up bitterly.  
  
Remus, come inside for a minute, I wanted to show you something. Lily said very quickly, standing up and draging him into the kitchen.  
  
God, I'm _so_ sorry! I should have remembered that you can't touch silver... My mum always throws a big deal about having company, I should have remembered she'd bring out the fancy dishware. Lily blurted out. Remus shook hsi head, running the bblistering fingers under the tap.  
  
It's alright... Do you have anything cheap around? he asked. Glancing out the window, he saw that they had already said grace, and Sirius was busy devouring the whole meal.  
  
God, I can't beleive this... Lily grumbled, rummaging through a drawer. She shrugged, and handed a steel fork and sppon to her friend.  
  
Put them up your sleeve and switch them when no one's looking. she said as they went back outside. Mr. Evans was already beginning to ask James about everything.  
  
Daddy, stop interrogating him. Lily snapped. He's not a criminal.  
  
I was just-Well, I-Oh... Fine. he said with a smile, giving in to her glare.  
  
Thish ish really goo'. Sirius said thickly, a peice of spaghetti hanging out of his mouth. Mrs. Evans smiled akwardly, looking at her daughter as if scolding her for habnging around such people.  
  
Lily, _where_ is your sister? Mr. Evans asked a moment later, noticing they were one person short.  
  
You know how she is, she refises to come out of her room. Lily said with a sigh. Convinced we're going to flip out and turn her into a frog or something.  
  
Sirius and James smiled identically, and Remus laughed. They were already planning some sort of evil prank to pull.  
  
  
I have to get going... Remus muttered as the grandfather clock struck eight chimes. He stood up, and offered his hand to Lily's parents.  
  
It was nice meeting you Mr. and Mrs. Evans. he said. I really hate to leave so abruptly, but I have to get to work.  
  
her parents asked.   
  
Yeah, graveyard shift... Well, goodbye. Thanks for invitng me Lily, talk to you later, alright? he said, tossing a pinch of powder into the fireplace. The flames tuirned green, and as he stepped in he could hear the Evans' whispering to their daughter.  
  
Now why couldn't you date such a nice fellow like that? That Potter boy seems a bit, well, reckless.  
  
Lily snapped, vanishing in a whirl.  
  
  
  
  
_Bad news kid,  
  
That fellow you sent to us isn't doing very well... I think he came down with the illness, but I can't be sure. Regrdless, he's having a hard time fighting this out. It strikes me odd though, he's sick well out of the normal range for when we come down with it. Anyway, if you can spare the time, we could use your help back here. You're much a better Healer than most anyone around... If you can't make it, at least send some potion lists that could help out.  
  
Sorry to bust the bubble of happiness,  
  
Caleb.  
  
  
_ Remus snapped, crumpling up the letter angrily. Shit shit _shit_. he cursed. God dammit, why the hell does every undeserving kid have to have the _worst_ life possible? he asked out loud, rushing to his shelf of books. Sitting down, he quickly began to file through Cor's journal, trying to locate a list of ingrediants that James had decoded for him.  
  
Scratching them out on a peice of parchment, he went through a few more sources until he had compiled the best list of Healing potions he could muster.  
  
God _dammit_, why did this have to happen now? he questioned, licking an envelope shut and handing it to the delivery owl. The bird flew off quickly, carrying the feeble hopes of recovery for Drew with him.  
  
Why does everything fall apart right when I start to put it all together? Remus questioned, sitting down on the couch. Much as he wanted to, there was no way he could quit work right now. He needed the money badly, and too many other lives were at stake.  
  
An idea suddenly popped into his mind. It was absurd, and doomed to fail, but it lingered.  
  
he told himself, trying to banish the thought. Nonetheless, he soon found himself back at his desk, quill in hand.  
  
  
_Don't take this as a request for help on a personal level. A kid's probably going to die fairly soon, and I don't know who else to ask. Just don't think of it as helping me, and try to do this, alright? I need help... There is nothing else I can do right now, I'm obviously desperate. So shove our differences aside and throw me a bone.  
  
Inculded is a list of what I know, though I don't know if it will be any help at all. If you can't do it fine, but at least try. This kids life is at risk.  
  
Think about it. I doubt even you could be that cold.  
  
Remus Lupin.  
  
  
_He folded up the letter after attatching a scratch of information. It was silly to think that he'd even get an answer, he considered it foolish to even try.  
  
Then again... He's got such an ego on projects... Remus muttered with a smile. He whistled shrilling a few times, and after a while, Viator flew into his third-floor window, mouse hanging from his mouth.  
  
Er, thanks... he said as the partially-eaten meal was desposited in his lap. The owl hooted loudly once, grabbing the letter and flying off impatiently.  
  
Stupid thing. Remus grumbled. It better get the right adress, or I'll consider making it a lovely wall decoration.  
  
Falling back on the couch, he stared up at the ceiling for a good few hours. He knew already that there would be no sleep to speak of for several days to come.  
  
Summer sucks.  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Sorry this one's so short! Next chappie will be out fairly soon... Thanks for all the reviews! You're all the best!  
  
**Iggie  
  
**Fic of the Day- Slytheirn Rising series by J.L. Matthews: **Also a fandom legend, if you haven't read this, I'm slightly ashamed. It's an AU twist on life from the eyes of four Slyth girls that could rival the Marauders in certain ways. VERY good. :)  
  
**  
Reviwer Notices-  
  
**Lynx- Ah, you've been here since this fool got started! Props!  
  
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Lara- AH! ::runs and hides:: O dear, well, er.... E-mail me, alright? Can't say it here!!  
  
Rkatu*L- ANOTHER friend who's seen this whole fic through from it's wee days of 5 reviews. Well that didn't last, now did it?  
  
Tawny- Of course I have to please the world. I can't please myself, and hey, I can't sleep so I might as well do something productive. :-/  
  
Aquarius Dragon- Thanks for the TONS of reviews! I love people who review every chapter. Makes my minimul self confidence throw a boost.  
  
Lunarian Amythest- Thank you thank you thank you! I _know_ I'm frustrating with my cliffhangers, but I just can't help it!  
  
EVERYONE ELSE- I love you to Heavens Ends. You guys seriously keep me going, you have no bloody clue... Thanks for sticking with this beast of a fic so long. I commend your tolerence! Cheers!  
  
  
**new notice- there might be a slight delay in updates for a few weeks or whenever... i've just had what little pride i had shattered to bits, and i don't really want to write right now. sorry if this pisses anyone off, but I'm a bit preoccupied trying to ward off my only friend for various reasons. gomen nasai.**


	39. Part XXXIX Morning

A/n- Thanks to all of you who've read this far! :)  
  
I'll just skip this bull crap for now....  
  
Rating- PG-13, but I say the eff word once. Sue me.  
  
Chapter Keywords- Letters, questions, and answers.  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XXXIX - Morning  
  
  
  
Dammit, what's taking so long? Remus snapped, turning away from the window. It had been three days since the letter should've been delivered, and he had already received an update on Drew. Supposedly he was off for the worst, and nothing Remus had suggested did an ounce of good. Having no sleep in a very long time, he was irritable and in a very violent mood.  
  
Sitting down on the couch and flipping the television on, he sat in a state of half-consciousness for a good twenty minutes, until the shrill cry of Viator snapped him awake. He hurriedly opened the letter, frowning deep.  
  
_And what's in it for me?  
  
_Remus was tempted to write something along the lines of How about the satisfaction of saving a life?', but figured that wouldn't do any good.  
  
_I don't know, we can work something out once school starts. I wont back out of it... But please, this kid is almost dead. He needs something and SOON._  
  
Remus underlined the word soon' many times, emphasizing the importance of the work. Handing the note to his carrier, he watched him fly off into the night once more.  
  
  
Remus was silently thankful for the lack of werewolves brought in at work during the following days. Constantly half-asleep, there was little chance he could handle helping anyone if the occasion arrived. All he had the capacity to do was shuffle his feet about and look off distantly through the windows, waiting for his reply. When his answer finally came, he went into a fit of swearing so loud that several departments were wondering what was going on.  
  
God DAMN him! Remus snapped, shoving his way out of the building while completely ignoring all the odd looks.  
  
_Sorry Lupin, not good enough for me.  
  
_The slimy fuckin' bastard!  
  
Temper, temper Lupin.  
  
He turned around quickly, and had to use every nerve of self control not to kill him on the spot.  
  
Murdering a man in front of a foreign Ministry is a very bad idea.' logic pointed out.  
  
What the hell do you want? Obviously you don't give a shit about helping out. Remus snapped, trying to walk away before he did anything he would regret. Snape smirked coyly, and followed.  
  
Flattered as I am that you would find me that heartless, I actually have finished your little task. Snape said. Stopping in his tracks, Remus turned around, and watched as a little vial was tossed to him.  
  
Half is to be administered at dusk. The rest should be taken exactly three hours later. Wait any longer and it will kill him. And it has to be done tonight, or else half the ingredients will have rotted into a very potent poison by then. he said with a straight face. Remus nodded absently, holding the solution as if it were his weight in gold.  
  
Thank you.  
  
I have done nothing. Snape said calmly, Disapparating without so much as farewell. With a grateful sigh, Remus sprinted the rest of the way to the broom check-in station, defying all the laws of exhaustion and starvation. A very small little fragment of his mind was wondering how Snape learned to Apparate such a distance without Ministry authorization, and how he knew when exactly he would be outside. The remainder of his thoughts were screaming at him to go to sleep and stop running.  
  
  
  
Shove off! Remus yelled, hurdling over the gate before either of the new guards could utter so much as a threat. Feet racing a mile a minute, Remus dashed into the town at record speed, looking around desperately for someone to direct him.  
  
Where's the sick kid? he shouted, finding no one in the streets. Glancing up at the sky, he let out an angry groan, and yelled again. The bleeding sun was just beyond the hills, nearly gone from view.  
  
Giving up on anyone, he started picking random houses, until at last, he found the majority of the town piled into the recreation building.  
  
Move it! Get out of my way! he screamed, panting wildly. Drenched in sweat and limping from a twisted ankle, Remus shoved through the congregation, throwing himself to the back of the room.  
  
What the hell- a lady asked, roughly shoved aside a second later. As he bent down next to the bed, Remus pulled the tiny corked vial form his pocket, and fumbled to open it. Holding it to ghostly white lips, he drained half of its contents, helping the boy to swallow.  
  
What the hell are you doing? Caleb asked sharply a moment later, slipping through a backdoor. He didn't even recognize the shaky form of his friend.  
  
Got... An antidote. Remus huffed out, suddenly too exhausted to even stand. Caleb peered closer, and pulled a face.  
  
What did you do, run half the way here? he asked, after figuring out who exactly was causing the small riot.  
  
Remus mumbled, eyes going heavy. Before he had a chance to steady himself, he keeled over sideways, falling to the ground.  
  
  
What time? Remus snapped, eyes finally opening. He sat up, despite the woman trying to hold him down, and he looked around wildly. It was dark outside, and already he could hear crickets chirping their songs.  
  
What time is it? he bellowed again, head an aching mess. Ignoring all the pain through his entire body, he rolled off the bed, trying to steady himself.  
  
It's eight twelve, and wh- someone started, but Remus had already left. Staggering out the door, he checked where he was, and tried to run back to the ailing boy.  
  
  
Where's... The vial? he huffed, kneeling down at the bedside, having a difficult time taking in any air. Someone pointed to an end table, and Remus almost broke down.  
  
Most of it spilled when you passed out. Caleb said quietly from the corner, holding up the tiny fifth that was left in the broken beaker. Remus snatched it from his hands, struggling to hold it steady.  
  
Please let this be enough... And not too late. he prayed, hands shaking as he poured it into Drew's mouth. Caleb put his hands on Remus' shoulders, easing him back against the wall.  
  
Slow down for a minute, you're not in so great of shape yourself.  
  
I had a bad transformation last night. he grumbled, not letting himself close his eyes. He waited, watching the deathly pale form of what used to be a healthy boy, praying for some sort of response.  
  
We need to get you to a doc kid, you look worse than him nearly. Have you even eaten lately?  
  
Not for four days... Haven't slept longer than that. he mused in a half-voice. How is he though?  
  
He's gotten worse since you blacked. Caleb said quietly, pulling up a chair. The crowd had been cleared away, the McCorsin brothers standing watch outside to keep them away. Pulse is completely erratic, his breathing's shallow... I don't know if he's gonna live.  
  
Snape couldn't be wrong. He has too... Too much pride to screw up a potion. Remus mumbled, his own voice very weak. Undergoing a seasonal moon while being under so much stress totally devoured all strength a werewolf had left.  
The pressure of keeping another alive did nothing to help this.  
  
I don't know who he is or how he's suddenly an expert of this, but... Just don't get too let down if the kid doesn't make it. Caleb said as gently as he could. Remus nodded his head once, hands and legs shaking beyond his control. Eyes rolling back into his head, he slumped against the wall.  
  
Remus? Hey what... What the he-  
  
  
_Caleb, get out of here now! There isn't much time!  
  
One, two, three shots.  
  
  
  
Hurry, get the other one!  
  
_  
Remus, hey!  
  
Eyes snapping open again, he had to look around for a moment to keep from yelling out.  
  
I think you blacked out again. Caleb was kneeling in front of him, face white.  
  
Remus whispered to himself.  
  
  
  
I... I saw the same thing twice, the same Vision... Except it wasn't the same. he muttered, breathing quickly. Before, they shot you... And now I took the hit, and...  
  
Remus, calm down. You're talking nonsense. Caleb said sternly, pulling him upright.  
  
Closing his eyes, Remus nodded his head, slowing his breaths. he muttered.  
  
  
  
Come on Lupin, get up... Come on now.  
  
Letting out a groan, Remus was hauled to his feet, arm slung around someone else.   
  
Drew alright? he barely mumbled, unable to open his eyes.  
  
He's fine, come on...  
  
What's goin' on? he asked, his head hurting more than it ever had in his life.  
  
Just lay down.  
  
He felt the backs of his knee's pressed against the side of his bed, forcing him to collapse onto it. For a moment he was shuffled around, a pillow placed under his throbbing head, until at last he heard a voice he recognized.  
  
Wha's goin' he asked again, not bothering to try and see anymore. He welcomed the warm mattress with open arms, relaxing as a wet towel was laid across his forehead.  
  
One of the Healers thinks you caught whatever the kid had. Caleb informed, moving back and forth from the bed to somewhere else. I don't think that's it though. Remus rolled over on his side, turning away from the bright morning sun.  
  
I feel alrigh'. Remus mumbled, slowly falling back asleep. Before he could mutter his first snore, he was flipped over on his back again, the light forcing him to stay awake.  
  
You've been muttering in your sleep for the past four hours, so I highly doubt that constitutes as he was told sarcastically. Giving up, Remus opened his eyes again, seeing painfully bright blurs move about.  
  
Where am I? he questioned, fighting to move his hand to his face.  
  
Hogwarts Infirmary.  
  
Why'm I here?  
  
Because you're not well, so shut up and just stay still.  
  
After a good five minutes of attempts to process a thought, he was finally able to register something logical.  
  
he grumbled out, barely able to speak now. Everything was a blur...  
  
  
  
Snape... He's got...  
  
Got the what? Caleb asked as more of the white blurs moved around, many of them stopping to talk in lazy voices.  
  
Remus? Hey, Remus. Caleb asked, bending over. He moved his hand in front of Remus' face, and tried hitting him lightly on the cheek.  
  
Uh, nurse? Excuse me! Nurse!  
  
  
  
Oh joy. Look fella's, he's alive. And here I thought there was a God after all.  
  
Painfully, as it hurt to move _anything_, Remus opened his eyes, looking around. The first thing he saw was Snape scowling down at him, thoroughly displeased that he wasn't dead.  
  
Well, apparently I was right. I'll just be off then, cursing existence altogether. he said dryly, standing up and walking out. Remus tried to speak, but soon found it impossible.  
  
Your little git of a patient's alive, if anyone cares. Snape added as he slammed the door shut. Madame Pomfrey made her way over, smiling nervously.  
  
Feeling okay? she inquired, busying herself with a few potions nearby. Again he tried to speak, only to have his own words muffled out. His hands wouldn't move, but he could feel something over his face.  
  
Oh, I think you'll be alright now. the nurse said, removing whatever it was that had been there. Remus immediately started coughing, lungs filling up with empty air. After a few seconds, he calmed down, and looked off to the side.  
  
Wh' he asked in a slur, mouth not responding quickly enough to form the words.  
  
That odd boy dropped you off again, banged on the doors for a good hour. He's lucky I was even here... Preparing for the start of term, well... You were all feverish and a bit disoriented.  
  
'N th' day?  
  
Oh, today's, well, I believe today is Monday.  
  
Yes'erday wa' Tues'ay... Remus started.  
  
Last week dear.  
  
Closing his eyes, Remus just stopped worrying now.   
  
Been through it before, I'll just reckon they know what they're talking about.' he told himself.  
  
Where's C'leb?  
  
The boy who brought you in? she asked, helping him to down a disgusting potion that Snape had undoubtedly made to be foul on purpose.  
  
He left after we had you breathing stable... There's a note he left, right next to you. she added. Remus was looking directly at it, but his hands wouldn't move more than a good inch. With a smile, Madame Pomfrey unfolded it, laying it on his lap.  
  
_Kid,  
  
Glad you're better, since you're reading this you must be alright now. Anyway, news update. The twins send their wishes, little runts wrote some very messy letters to me last Wednesday asking if you were okay. If you're wondering, no, you didn't catch whatever Drew had. No clue on your medical condition, ask the nurse on that one. She doesn't fancy me too much... Well, all's well down here, and I'm back at work now. You need a leave of absence more than I did, and besides, Mel can handle the twins better than I could. And chicks dig kids ;) Get better soon, I need your help on a few potions... I know you're not great with them but hell, best I can hope is to not explode them every five minutes.  
  
Suck it up kid,  
  
Caleb and the entire W.U.  
  
_He chuckled a bit at the short notes the twins had scribed on the margin, but soon discovered it was a very bad idea to laugh.  
  
Just get some rest, God knows you need it. You're chalking up quite a medical record young man.  
  
  
By the following Thursday, he was at last permitted to leave his bed, though not alone. Madame Pomfrey would follow him around as he walked through the school, trying to get used to his legs again. Every now and then he'd stumble, collapsing to the nurse's help.  
  
So what happened to me? he asked that afternoon, sitting out by the lake where he and Lily would often retire to think.  
  
I'll assume, from the accounts of your friend, that it was a series of many things. Transformation trauma, stress from work and other... Things, physical exhaustion from lack of nutrition and sleep... Also a bit of head trauma and a very ill-timed fever. Add them up and you were, and are, a complete wreak. she said lightly. I didn't know what to do with you outside of stabilizing your breathing, but that friend of yours insisted I call Mr. Snape up to the school. He was a bit reluctant, but he did brew a few remedies for you. Did a world of good.  
  
Sighing to himself, Remus rested his chin in his hands, looking out across the sparkling lake.  
  
Why is it I have the worst luck in the world? he mumbled.  
  
Contrary Mr. Lupin, you're terribly lucky. Not many would have recovered so quickly-  
  
I shouldn't have come down with it in the first place. My God, I'm sixteen and I had a full time job overseas. Bloody hell... I need to start over.  
  
School starts fairly soon, it'd offer you a chance to begin anew. she suggested.  
  
Yeah, knowing me, trying to relax would finally do me in. God knows He's tried before.  
  
  
  
Downing his daily dose of odd-end potions and other medications, Remus let out a sigh, watching a congregation of nurses in training moving about the Infirmary. For some reason, they were whispering in forbidden conversation, frequently pointing to newspapers lying held in shaky hands.  
  
Taking his wand, and disregarding the warnings not to use magic, he Summoned a loose _Daily Profit_ and immediately understood all the commotion.  
  
So, the attacks have started...  
  
  
  
  
Feeling better? Caleb asked, helping him into the beaten old truck again. Remus slumped into the seat, glad to be sitting again, and nodded his head.  
  
Actually, I feel rather like shit to be frank. It hurts like a bitch to walk, I can't stay awake very long and thoughts take a very long time to process.  
  
Eh, maybe all that trauma when you weren't breathing caused some brain damage. he joked as the engine thundered to life.  
  
  
  
Right when I got you inside you stopped breathing. It was hot as hell outside, and top that to you being unconscious, you weren't breathing at all for a minute or so. Pomfrey had to bust out some Muggle oxygen mask thing... Didn't understand it at all, but hey, you're alive, so it's all good.  
  
Did I almost die or something?  
  
Again. Yes. Caleb said with the manner as if he were announcing the daily forecast.  
  
Remus said with equal calmness. Well, all works in the end, and at least this way I won't feel guilty about taking a break from everything.  
  
Good theory. Too bad it'll never happen...  
  
  
  
Remus awoke later to find himself already inside the Underground, having been carried the long walk through the canyon pass. He also discovered that the twins had made themselves comfortable in his bed, one being on top of him, the other curled at his side. With a content sort of yawn, he slung an arm around one of the boys, falling back asleep easily.  
  
  
Remus, didn't' I tell you not to try to get any work done? You're on doctors orders to sit around all day and do nothing. Caleb snapped irritably, Apparating into the room from the inner village. It was impossible to magically move from the outer bounds of the village inside, as protection from any unwanted visitors, but Caleb had learned he could be as lazy as he wished while inside the city bounds.  
  
I _can't_ not do anything, it's driving me crazy. Remus grumbled, taking back his papers. I wish James was here, I can't translate an ounce of this gibberish.  
  
I still say that kid's out of his righteous mind, learning a dead language.  
  
  
  
Come again?  
  
He knows seven dead languages, and two that are nearly such. Remus added. And yes, he is out of his mind. We all are. he said cheerfully, a change for him. A few days of bed rest and easy living had done him wonders, mentally more than physically. It was still a painful task just to get up to use one of the few local community bathrooms.  
  
If you say so... Well, I have to go get the Terrible Two, so be prepared for a good tackle when I bring them back.  
  
I don't think I can take another round of them... Hurt like hell yesterday. he mumbled offhand, pushing himself up from the couch with a groan. God, I feel like an old man... I can barely walk.  
  
Go get drunk, that always does me a good deal when I feel a tad off.  
  
I'm not too keen on alcohol... But the restaurant sounds good right about now. I can evade the twins for a while anyway. he said, getting up very slowly. After twisting his back a few times, he took in a breath, and walked stiffy for the door.  
  
You know, maybe you should-  
  
Don't you dare suggest I get a walking stick. I will _not_ degrade myself to that. Remus snapped, Caleb laughing joyfully behind him.  
  
Yes, well when you fall and re-crack your ankle, we'll see who thinks what! he joked as the door was slammed. Outside, Remus stared down the dusty strip as though it were ten miles, and not a mere four buildings to the cafeteria resturaunt.  
  
Need a hand?  
  
Garade hobbled his way over, moving quicker on his crutches than most people could jog.  
  
Maybe you need the sticks. he said, watching Remus nearly trip down the stairs of the porch.  
  
I'll be fine...  
  
Yeah, well you kept saying that when Simmers was dragging your sorry arse out of here two weeks ago. So don't mind me if I don't take you too seriously.  
  
What'd you do to your leg anyway? Remus asked, changing the subject away from his own miserable health.  
  
Got shot. he said simply. Our Healer was having me snatch a few things from an old hospital down in the Muggle town, and some old crazy guy took aim at me just because I went in his yard. Took me a long time to get back, so it got infected and all that...  
  
Sounds pleasant.  
  
Yeah, well at least I didn't almost kill myself from an overload of stress. he joked. Simmers ranted about it for a while when he came back to check up on Drew. I can't believe you... Working for the Ministry and all that. You of all people should have a normal life.  
  
Funny, everyone keeps telling me that. Remus said, trying to suck up the aching in his legs as he neared his destination.   
  
Ever consider that they're right? Garade asked, leaving before Remus could ponder any further.  
  
  
  
So, you feeling alright? Remus asked, sitting down gratefully. Drew shrugged, and let out a short laugh.  
  
I should ask you the same, shouldn't I? he asked.   
  
About what?  
  
Stressing you out, I overheard Caleb talking a few days ago-  
  
Nah, I'm alright, save for a speck of muscular damage. Another day lived in the life of Remus Lupin.  
  
For the first time, they both smiled, truly starting over on a new slate.  
  
  
  
**A/n- Geez. I wrote this and the last chapter in one day. And they're _long_ too. I have too much free time.....  
  
  
Keep the reviews coming!  
  
**Iggie  
  
**Fic of the Day- Lunar Eclipse by McSplunge the Rickmaniac: **Just a nice little poem about everyone's favourite werewolf.  
  
**Second Chances by Nataly Ravenlock: **I put two, since the first is a poem. This is a great tale of Severus Snape and a Gryffindor gal by the nickname of pit bull. VERY entrertaining and otherwise thought provoking.  
  
Come on guys, review! I have this goddamn race going with one Saerry Snape, that she isn't aware of, I'm trying desperately to have more reviews than her. I know, childish... Sue me. It's always been a goal of mine to have more reviews than an author I really admire. Help me out. o_O  
  
  
**Note note-  
  
**Yes, I need to rant more. Just wanted to give you the low-down on what's PLANNED for this fic. After Seeing Grey, I intend to write a short maybe six-chapter prequel that will give depth to Rem and Rom's life before Hogwarts.  
  
On from there, we have post-graduation until the ill-fated Holloween night. Will most likely contain lots of dark stuff, considering it _is_ war.  
  
After, we have post-Holloween in which Remus will be undeniably depressed and poor.  
  
Maybe a bit of PoA rambling too, though I may merge this part with the above said. Could contain post GoF as well... So, if I can keep myself going this year, expect a lengthy series. Enjoi.


	40. Part XL Dyclonine

A/n- Well, here's my fortieth chapter... Damn this is getting _too_ long.  
  
Disclaimer- Why should I even BOTHER?  
  
_This is dedicated to all of those who suffer  
from the pain of school. My heart goes out   
to you, really. Be thankful you aren't in my  
position academically... Here's to all you  
unfortunate students. o_O_  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XL - Dyclonine  
  
  
  
Moony! Hey, how's it been? James asked joyfully as he rolled his way onto the platform, riding the trolly like a scooter.  
  
Pretty good, actually. Remus said with a true smile.  
  
Nice to hear you''re not bugging over ancient curses and all that. Man, you should've come to the Quidditch match with Scotland last week! It was _amazing_!  
  
It was on the moon. Remus pointed out, no flinching pain visible in his voice this time. James nodded his head once, and went on to explain in great detail the finer aspects of the game. They eventually lingered into an empty compartment, finding Sirius fast asleep, and Peter buried in another war book.  
  
A bit tired, eh? Remus asked, as the bang of James' trunk falling off the rack made Sirius fumble out of his nap. He looked around wide-eyed for a second, and shook his head.  
  
Bad night...  
  
Why's that?  
  
Dreading today. he grumbled, curling up again against the window. O.W.L. results... Mum's going to kill me. he said sloppily, gazing out the window in a distant fashion.  
  
I don't even want to see my Potions results... I'm fairly certain I failed those.  
  
My History of Magic is down the drain...  
  
Sirius passed that, bloody git copied just about everything I did. I really wish he hadn't taped into the ever-annoying low frequency language of dogs. Remus said offhand as the train doors shut, ready to leave.  
  
Well at least I'll get top marks in Transfiguration. James mumbled, looking through the door windows for Lily.  
  
This time, thing's are going to stay normal.'  
  
  
  
James asked nervously, holding his exam envelope. The newly appointed Head Boy of Gryffindor had handed them out, and none of the Marauders had yet broken the seals.  
  
Sirius said in a dreading voice. My mum's going to _kill_ me.  
  
Come on guys, this is foolish. The outcome wont be any different if we open them later. Remus pointed out, only to be pelted with various food pieces.   
  
Bloody hell, if we never open them, then we don't have to be disappointed.  
  
We open on three, alright? Remus asked, and the others nodded resentfully, watching as sixth years all around him let out angry groans.  
  
One... Two...  
  
they all said, tearing at the official wax seal from the Ministry O.W.L. department. Crossing fingers and sending out last-minute prayers, the four Marauders unfolded the thin parchment, hearts going faster than ever.  
  
Sirius bellowed, jumping to his feet. Noticing after a moment that everyone was staring at him, he smiled, saluted, and slowly shrank back his seat.  
  
I got eleven! And I _passed_ Potions! he announced, punching the air in bliss. Looking up, Remus saw James, hands shaking, face frozen.  
  
Uh oh. he mumbled, waiting for the inevitable anger and rage. It never came.  
  
How'd you do Prongs? Sirius finally asked, disregarding Peter's pathetic cries completely. After a very long silence, he cracked a smile, a very stupid, dorky smile.  
  
  
  
Kick ass, we tied! Sirius said. Hey Pete, what'd you get? he asked, peering over his shoulder. Peter crumpled up the paper, stuffing it in his robes.  
  
he squeaked, dashing off very suddenly.  
  
We'll find out eventually! James called after him, grinning like he owned the world (Which he probably could afford to do, Remus thought). He turned back to Remus, inquiring upon is results.  
  
Remus muttered, almost a question, trying to figure out if he was reading his information correctly. Sirius grabbed the paper, mouth ajar as he skimmed through.  
  
Jesus Christ Moony, you passed _everything_! How in bloody hell? Look at this! Stupid git scored higher than me on everything but Transfiguration! And we're almost dead-even for Charms...  
  
James took the sheet, eyes glinting madly.  
  
My God, you're one of the highest scores of our class! I don't see how anyone could outdo this...  
  
Well we know for sure Snape beat everyone for Dark Arts, Potions, and Herbology. Sirius reminded.  
  
Yes, but he's horrible on Transfiguration. So no way he beat you out. James said, biting his lip. I wonder if you did get top scores?  
  
Without warning, Sirius stood up on his seat, easily gaining everyone's attention. Clearing his throat, he put on a cheerful smile, waving to make sure everyone was watching.  
  
Anyone get more than thirteen O.W.L.'s? he asked loudly, ignoring all the glares from the Head table.  
  
Yeah right Black, like you got that many! some Slytherin shouted, eliciting a round of laughs.  
  
Not me... My good friend Remus here, Sirius said, pointing downwards. Remus went red, and slouched in his seat slightly. has thirteen, and I was wondering if anyone had higher.  
  
There was a lot of clatter over at the Ravenclaw table, and someone announced there was a tie for thirteen, but no one seemed to have a higher bar.  
  
Anyone? Come on now, he can't _really_ have the highest marks.  
  
Sirius sat down with a shrug, smiling at his friend. Looks like you got top score, along with those Ravenclaw chicks.  
  
It's weird though-  
  
No shit it's weird, you passed everything. And you're one of _our_ friends. I'll bet the professor's will drop dead. James snorted.  
  
No, my potions scores... This said I leveled just below average with them, but I could have sworn I wasn't even going to pass minimum, let alone pass at all. I blew up my bloody cauldron for God's sake, Peter couldn't have done worse. Remus mused.  
  
Yes he could. James interrupted.  
  
Don't question your good fortune! Sirius said happily, slapping an arm on Remus' back. Now, this way, none of the professors can deny you trips to the Restricted Section!  
  
Oh, is that why you're so happy? Remus laughed.  
  
Of course it is. James added, still grinning about his own luck. We can pull some serious damage now that we have a live, full access pass to all the goods.  
  
You're impossible, you know that?  
  
Sirius and James grinned sheepishly, and continued to swallow down any food they could get their hands on.  
  
Hey, where's Carlison? Remus noticed a while later, glancing up at the head table. His seat next to Dumbledore was empty, and on further inspection, he found Bane's to be vacant as well.  
  
If we're lucky, he's dead. James mumbled through a biscuit.  
  
  
  
  
  
Lily tucked her robes under her, taking a seat on the stone bench she was so accustomed to.  
  
Remus said absently.  
  
Something wrong?  
  
Not really, and that's what bothers me. I'm not used to peace and quiet. Lately, everything's been rather normal. he said, looking out across the still lake.  
  
Calm after the storm? Lily asked, tossing a stone in, rippling the water in every direction. I see the way you walk- you were hurt. she observed.  
  
Sick to be more accurate, but yeah... This summer wasn't exactly normal.  
  
Is anything in your life normal?  
  
Very good point. Remus said with a short smile. Still going with James?  
  
Yeah. No problems. she said, almost apologetically. I finally convinced my parents he isn't the devil incarnate.  
  
Formidable task I'm sure.   
  
Yeah... My father's pretty well with the idea, but my mum... I swear, if I don't marry a Muggle doctor or something she'll never be able to die happily.  
  
At least you have the freedom to marry. Remus said to himself.  
  
You'll find someone. Eventually.  
  
Very unlikely... Either way, I've already got kids to raise.  
  
Lily's eyes went wide, and she turned, staring at him for a moment. He laughed, and shook his head.  
  
They aren't mine, not in _that _ way. he said with a grin. Caleb, my friend, he had to sort of adopt these twin boys. Four year old demons if you ask me. He's trying to raise them on is own, but it's a bit complicated. Everything's complicated.  
  
Just don't worry about that right now. It's the beginning of a new year, a great start for you I hear. Thirteen O.W.L.'s is mighty impressive. You can get a stable job with the Ministry with those kind of scores. she said offhand.  
  
Smiling to himself again, he assured her that a stable job with the Ministry wasn't what he needed at the moment.  
  
Right now, all I want ot do is get a few hundred detentions for setting off Dungbombs during a potions exam. he said.  
  
  
  
Did you hear about Carlison and Bane? Peter whispered, nudging Remus in the side. The Defense room was, at the moment, full to the brim with students, and empty by way of a professor.  
  
No, what happened?  
  
Well, apparently Bane was involved in a lot of Dark stuff, and the Ministry caught on. Carlison had taken up active duty as an Auror again, and well, he was sent to investigate. he said, noticeably excited by all the war business.  
  
  
  
I'm getting there... Well, Bane was caught with all this crap going on, and Carlison traced him back to one of those Muggle killings last month.  
  
No way!' Remus gapped.  
  
Yeah! He was right in this ring of Dark supporters, and when Carlison cornered him, they dueled it out. Peter squeaked.  
  
What happened then?  
  
Before he could blurt out any answer, the door swung open very suddenly. The entire class went silent, or, that is, the entire male half. In strode a beautiful woman, tall with dark red hair, and the air of a model.  
  
Mouths half open, James and Sirius followed her every move, until Lily hit James across the face, scowling.  
  
Hello class... the lady said calmly, dropping a load of books on the barren desk. My name is Celia Horder. she introduced, every man in the room staring at her, many beginning to drool. Even the reserved Peter Pettigrew was gapping open mouthed.  
  
You can call me Celia, Ms. Horder, or anything but professor. I am _not_ your professor. I was assigned the misfortune of teaching you a few random defense techniques as my advisors figure I'm too inexperienced to head off for war just yet. she said icily, mind a few miles out of the classroom.  
  
What war? a dull Hufflepuff asked from the back of the room.  
  
Great, I'm instructing a bunch of nitwits... Do you even read the newspapers? she laughed. There's a lot of Dark activity going on, all the Aurors have been called in for active duty. That's why your previous professor isn't here anymore, he's off fighting.  
  
After a few minutes of scattered whisperings, mostly form the girls, as still every male wasn't paying attention to anything but Ms. Horder's bust, class began. For a while she just answered a plague of questions on what was happening outside of the castle walls, until the conversation turned again to Professor Carlison.  
  
You may have noticed that your Potions instructor, Bane, she said, frowning at his name, is also gone this year. All lies aside, it's due to the fact that he's now serving a fifteen year sentence in Azkaban for the murder of four Muggles and various other practices of illegal magic.  
  
Another wave of of whispers was cut short as the replacement Defense professor went on with her news.  
  
He was detained a few weeks ago, by Carlison, and imprisoned shortly after confessing to the crimes. His term was cut short since he gave out a lengthy list of others involved in the Dark movement.  
  
Surprisingly, Remus held up his hand.  
  
she asked with mild surprise.  
  
Should you be telling us this? he questioned, noticing how quite a few of the girls were starting to whisper fearfully.  
  
Probably not. And I'm quite certain the entire Ministry would have my head for revealing all of this to you. Considering your age, and the fact that it's inevitable that everyone _will_ know, I think it is best that you find out now and prepare yourselves. Ms. Horder said, sitting on her desk. As she crossed her legs, boys began to file into the front row, fighting for a good look, James included. Lily managed to grab him by his robes and yank him into a seat before he got anywhere, much to his dismay. This is no light matter, and soon enough, each and every one of you will be caught up in the tides of battle. By letting you sink it all in now, I think I'll be doing you a favour.  
  
Yeah, I know what favour she could do me.  
  
Before the unsuspecting Slytherin had time to snigger at his own comment, he was down on the floor, wand at his throat. Ms. Horder smiled sardonically at him, knee to his chest.  
  
Watch your mouth, or watch your back. Your choice. she said sweetly.  
  
  
  
That lady is insane. Remus muttered as class was let out.  
  
Yeah, insanely gorgeous. Sirius said, still drooling at the thought of her.  
  
I wouldn't be too keen on having a fancy for an Auror-in-training.  
  
I wouldn't care if she was one of those whacked out Dark prats. James mumbled, forgetting that Lily was right next to him.  
  
God, are you guys going to gawk at her all year? If so, I'll have to demand a schedule change.  
  
They don't let you change them.  
  
Lily shot her boyfriend such a glare that Remus was ready to bet his life it would scare even a Dark supporter in the midst of battle.  
  
  
  
So who's a likely candidate for Chaser this year? James asked, mulling over his Charms homework the second day.  
  
Who cares, I just thank God that that moron graduated. Bloody wonder how he managed that, but nonetheless, him and his nagging are finally gone. Sirius said, shutting his book. Well, I have a detention to serve...  
  
You pulled something without including me? James asked, feigning a look of immeasurable hurt.  
  
It was spur of the moment. Bloody Slytherin was just asking for it... Anyway, I have to go.  
  
Who are you serving it with? Any chance you'll get a sneak peak at our mystery Potions professor?  
  
Nah, McGonnagal. She's making me file papers... _Just_ what I wanted...  
  
  
  
They have _got_ to be kidding. Remus almost laughed, skeptically watching the nervous little man shuffle things around his desk. He was very short, balding, and looked about as brave as a timid Muggle lab scientist.  
  
Alright class... Settle down... Please, quiet now. he said in a feeble voice. Form the looks of it, James and Sirius were already plotting away, as there was no way this poor excuse of an instructor would ever be as vicious with detentions as Bane. Peter was smiling, wildest dreams fulfilled. No more Bane to bark out orders and linger over everyone's shoulder during exams...  
  
Please, I have to take attendance... No, you there. Excuse me... Class, please settle down, I really have to get this done. he said, voice barely audible above the commotion. Shaking his head in amusement, Remus put two fingers to his lips, and whistled shrilly.  
  
Er, thank you... the professor mumbled as the class slowly sat back down in their seats. He glanced down at his clipboard, biting his lip like a nervous child.  
  
Hello class... My n-name is Professor Whilp... he started. I-I'll be filling in for a while...  
  
Sirius grumbled.  
  
You're professor was unable to, arrive... On time, due to a situation at the Ministry.  
  
God, this guy would be such a pushover. Pity he isn't permanent.' Remus mused as the attendance was slowly taken.  
  
  
  
Lupin, wait up a minute.  
  
he asked as Snape emerged from the Advanced Potions classroom opposite of his own.  
  
You still owe me a favour.  
  
Decide yet?  
  
No, I just felt I needed to remind you that you're in my debt. he said casually.  
  
Bloody hell, of course I'm in your debt. You saved my life, and a kids. Remus half-laughed. Snape went cold at mention of that, and quickly snapped back.  
  
I never helped you. You only owe me for the time put into the antidote. he said.  
  
So you're just going to dismiss the fact that you were pulled out of your home to come and save my ailing ass? On top of helping Drew?  
  
In retrospect, yes. As far as I'm concerned that load with you never happened.  
  
Well, as soon as you find an ample pay back, be sure to track me down.  
  
Will do. Snape said very quietly, walking off as though they had never met.  
  
Never will understand that one. Remus mused, looking down at the Marauders Map. Now, to find that Advanced Charms Room...  
  
Moony, where are you going? Charms is this way, or did you forget? James joked, coming out from behind with a wicked grin. Remus didn't bother asking how they had managed ot torture the substitute.  
  
No, they put me in Advanced.  
  
Ah, that sucks! Now you can't help us with our homework. Sirius muttered.  
  
I have to go, sorry... See you guys in Transfiguration.  
  
Alright. Good luck.  
  
  
  
Care to join me on a snackage run? Sirius asked lazily. James shook his head, determined to finish his Charms work without begging for any help.  
  
  
  
Sure, why not... Already finished all my homework. Remus grumbled, glancing at James' paper as he stood.  
  
Page 284 of my book, last paragraph. he added as he went by. James shouted a thanks, and began to frantically scribble down the notes.  
  
Have any massive vengeance prank to unleash so far this year? Remus mumbled, glancing at the Map every now and then to avoid any professors.  
  
Eh, no one's pissed me off yet. First time we get beat in Quidditch though, I'm sure I can chalk up a nice plan.  
  
Yeah, well good luck this year.  
  
  
  
I don't know if I can play. Remus said. Sirius turned around, walking backwards with such an expression as though he had been kicked in the gut.  
  
Why the hell not? You're half the reason we actually win!  
  
I had a rough summer... Caleb would kill me if I went back to flying next month.  
  
Screw him, he'll never have to know! You're the backbone of the team, all your plays and those insane stunts you pull at the last minute. We're going to be _pounded_ if you don't play.  
  
It all depends how quick I can be back to normal... Maybe after Christmas I could join up. Use someone from the reserve team until then.  
  
Blimey, they all suck. Sirius grumbled, backing up into a wall a few times.  
  
It's not my fault... Ok, so getting sick was, but I can't help that now. It's bothersome for me to walk, so I think crashing around on a broom and being pelted with kamikaze Bludgers would be out of the questions.  
  
School sucks.  
  
  
  
**A/n-Well, that was my Dear God I Hate School ending. I really do hate school. It's so bloody depressing... Anyway, thanks for the reviews. If you need to contact me at all, anyone (to rant, chat, or complain) try iggie@fanfiction.net. Thank ya!  
  
Fic of the Day- Nox Redux by Cas:** What happens when Sirius never makes it to Remus' after GoF? The old crowd was never alerted, and a stray black dog was in for one hell of a night...  
  
  
**Reviewer Notes-  
  
**aurielo- To hell I'll get sick of Rem and Sirius!! Are you insane? If you haven't figured it out by now I'm literally in love with the blokes. Damn it, if only they were real ::pouts:: And on subject of Drew, I have a little planned for him, but nothing big. He's just a little side character, like Dean or Semus are in relation to cannon.  
  
Fliss- Glad to hear you're enjoying this :) And are you SURE your e-mail works? I keep getting those blasted notices saying it was incorrect...  
  
Reckless Abandon- Dedication? Has nothing to do with it m'friend. Deep heartfelt obsession and slight clinical depression. That's the only reason this thing keeps going and going and going and going and going and going and going... I'm already at chapter 47.  
  
Nataly Ravenlock- There is never enough sugar. Or enough Severus. Ever.  
  
Chibi Hime- Glad to see a new face! Hope you're still reading.  
  
Anya- E-mail at AlyssaC7@aol.com or iggie@fanfiction.net if you need to contact me!  
  
Kiki- Thanks for the praise, really. Didn't know this thing was worth a reread.  
  
Sasina- Yes, I did the brother thing on purpose. I was making up a brother for Remus, and my history popped into mind. And thus _our_ Rom was born. :)  
  
  
  
**Email Update- **I now have Support Services, and thus a new email I use often. YOu can contact em at iggie@fanfiction.net from now on, or my usual AlyssaC7@aol.com. I'm not sure which will be my permanent one, so I might experiment a little bit. Sorry for the hassle.  
  
**Chapter title meaning**- Dyclonine is an ingredient, oddly enough, in a type of throat spray that temporarily numbs nerve endings. It's from some Latin root meaning to temporarily tranquilize or something, so I thought it appropriate in my semi-normal chapter. ::shrug::


	41. Part XLI Mourning News

A/n- Wow, more. ... ... ... ...  
Cont. - On subject of Ms. Horder- No, she will not be a Mary Sue. I will never disgrace my existence in creating one of those. She is just a very bitter lady. :)  
  
A/n2- Several people have laughed and questioned my dedication and motivation. I tell you, motivation has nothing to do with this fic. I am just so indescribably stressed out all the time and this blasted Saturday-morning starter fic just helps me get through everything without going insane. Believe me, I have absolutely no dedication to _anything_...  
  
  
**Note on my penname** (God I have too many notes this chap)- Yes, I'm still Iggie and will continue to refer to myself as such. Ignominia, for those of you who remember back in May, was my original penname when I started this fic. I changed it because someone I know found it out, and I hate my friends in real life reading my stuff. I changed it back because the bloke moved, so I could care less now. It might change back to Iggie, I don't know. Sorry for any confusion.  
  
Disclaimer- Lawyers can go bite themselves in the ass if you ask me. Screw them all.  
  
Rating- PG-13 I guess, this one is kinda mellow.  
  
Chapter Keywords- Well, school starts... Interesting conjunction with my life. Timing was perfect. Bah.  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XLI - Mourning News  
  
  
  
_Everything's fairly normal here, as of now anyway. There was an attack nearby, on the Muggle village, so we're a bit shaken up. I still thank God the Dark supporters never came this way... The twins cried their little heads off when the explosions started, poor buggers are afraid to leave the house unless I'm right with them. Regardless, we're all fine and alive. How's school going, and you for that fact? Good news by way of that antidote... Someone here's a real whizz with analyzing potions, and he's working his arse off to develop an immunity. Until then, well, no one in the Underground will have to worry about being deathly sick. Thank that friend of yours for me, for all of us.  
  
I have to get going, Mel's taking me out for dinner in Toronto with her brother. Write back,  
  
Caleb.  
  
P.S. Fail your O.W.L.'s?  
  
  
  
You'll be amused to know I tied for top scores, thank you very much. Ye of Little Faith... Send my regards to the Terrible Two, let them know I'll probably be back for the Christmas holidays. Maybe that'll cheer them up a bit.  
  
You'll never guess... My old potions professor, the bastard, he was a Death Eater, now serving deserved time in Azkaban. Rotten fool can get a taste of his own malice. No complaints though... Carlison, our old Defense instructor, is the one who took him in. He's back on duty now, and we have a very... Nice replacement. I'll elaborate later, I have to get back to pretending I can still kick someone's ass. Truth be told, I think Corey or Jason would send me straight back to the Infirmary for good... Ciao.  
  
Remus  
  
_He tucked the letter in his pocket, needing to take it to the Owlry later on. All around the Great Hall, small little quarrels were erupting, many caused by Sirius' recent run-in with a few Slytherins. Now, a few were getting very pushy with James, once again striking up the Lily conflict.  
  
Remus, come on, help me out here. Sirius asked, trying not to cower away from the seventh year that could easily pound him over a table.  
  
I told you Padfoot... I kind of can't even knock out a toddler right now. Remus muttered quietly, trying to maintain a menacing look.  
  
God dammit. I was hoping for a good fight.  
  
Oh, it _that_ why you set all the lower dungeons on fire? Peter questioned, hiding behind Alex.  
  
Well, it did get the Professors out...  
  
Yes you stupid git, right when we need them the most. Remus snapped. In the corner of his eyes, he briefly saw the first swing, colliding with James' head. Lily started screaming at her House mate to knock it off, while all the Gryffindors, and their massive pride, roared into overdrive.  
  
What's the quickest way out of here? Remus asked over the now cheering Great Hall.  
  
You're running away? Sirius gapped, bravely initiating a violent food fight.  
  
If I take one hit, I'll be in the medical wing for a good three weeks. I can't run, and I can't defend myself. I'm no better off than Peter right now!  
  
Sirius cocked a disappointed frown, and stood up on one of the tables. Immediately he Summoned an arsenal of food, and began to bombard the Ravenclaws. All around the Great Hall small toils and fist fights were breaking out among the older students, mainly around where James stood on unsteady feet.  
  
You can't fight? At _all_? he asked.  
  
No. At all. Remus confirmed.  
  
Get out... he said, ducking a plate that had been flung for his head. Remus made a mad scramble for the doors, while Sirius daringly upheld a literal cuisine war.  
  
  
  
Are you alright?  
  
Kinda hard to breath. Remus said, crouched over on his bed. Arms across his chest, he took in a few strangled breaths, nodding his head. I'll be fine in a minute. he assured. James waited a moment to make sure he wasn't going to keel over, and went back to copying the Potions notes for Sirius.  
  
So what went on this summer? You changed...  
  
No I didn't.  
  
You don't sulk very much anymore... As far as I can see, you've been a lot more optimistic about everything, more... Cheerful.  
  
That'd make Rom laugh. Me. Cheerful... he snorted, quickly regretting it as he went into a another fit.  
  
Well, you are. James said with a shrug. But seriously, what caused this sudden turnaround?  
  
My summer was a bit odd... he said with a small grin. I co-adopted two little kids, freed six or so werewolves from Ministry execution, found myself in a hidden city... And I nearly died a horrible death from stress. he added calmly.  
  
James mused, searching for another potions book.  
  
Remus blinked, eyebrow raised. How is any of that typical? Sitting around on the couch eating nachos and going to Quidditch games is a little more typical.  
  
Not with you it isn't.  
  
Point taken. Remus said with a shrug, smiling to himself.  
  
  
  
And thus, you're dead. Ms. Horder said monotonously, rolling her eyes. Defense Against the Dark Arts had become, more or less, a class of combat. With three weeks of school having gone by, she was now teaching the sixth years how to defend themselves while unarmed.  
  
The first thing a Dark mage will do is kill you. If that fails, they'll disarm you instead. In that situation, you're all as good as dead. she repeated to the class as her third victim lasted less than two seconds. My job is to give you a second lease on life, so to speak.  
  
Second lease my ass, I've gone through at least thirty. Remus mumbled to no one in particular.  
  
Lupin, care to demonstrate how this _should_ be done? You seem to think you're some high authority on the manner. she snapped at him. For a beautiful young woman, everyone had quickly learned she was very bitter and had a temperament to match Bane. A few boys, the selective few who even paid attention, noticed she was also somewhat of a bigot.  
  
I'm kind of under Madame Pomfrey's orders not to do anything strenuous. he muttered quietly.  
  
Crying shame. I'm sure that would touch the very heart of a Dark mage. Up here, now.  
  
Reluctantly, he walked forward, trying to ignore his mental pleads to retreat.  
  
Wand please. she asked. Remus stood still, not even budging. She smiled, and nodded her head.  
  
Someone give a count. I'll cheat a little... No one will count in real life, but I suppose we should start at the first step.  
  
After the three was muttered, Horder immediately disarmed him. What she didn't expect was a counter. In the blink of an eye, the professor was stuck on the ground, face down on the floor mat. Remus used every ounce of strength to no tear himself at the moment. Moving too quickly and making contact with someone else was not what his body had been asking for.  
  
Well class, would you look at that? Someone with enough brains to outsmart me... Brings me to my next lesson., Never underestimate your enemy. she said gruffly. Lupin, you can get off now.  
  
What, and release my foe? I think not. he joked through gritted teeth. James and Sirius, along with most of the others, began to chuckle enviously. Here he was, a sickly werewolf, having the luck to pin down the deadly and beautiful Professor.  
  
Lupin, get off.  
  
Shouldn't you be teaching that when given an advantage, never blow it away? Deception...  
  
I do control your grades you know.  
  
Fair enough. he said with a grin, letting go of her arm, permitting her to move. As soon as she did, Remus found himself the one against the floor.  
  
Take your own advice Lupin. Horder said, smiling sweetly. And this class, is why men are idiots.  
  
a Gryffindor girl muttered.  
  
  
God, you have _no_ idea how lucky you are! James said happily, swarming Remus as soon as class let out. Bruised and aching, he nodded his head, trying to keep himself on his feet.  
  
Hell, I'd let her fail me just for that... Maybe I should deliberately let her pin me down. Sirius mused.  
  
Good idea.  
  
Guys, come on, she's way older than you. Like she'd be interested. Peter said quietly.  
  
Oh to hell Pete. We can dream if we want!  
  
  
  
_Dead yet?  
  
Ha, didn't think so. We're all fine here, nothing new at the moment. Man, you're lucky you got out of work when you did. There's been twenty-one people since I took the reigns back, it's insane. The Ministries here are going all-out to capture every werewolf on the continent. All this Dark stuff is really stirring them up. Well, anyway, the Canadians are blind to what I'm doing, so I might be able to keep this job for a while. Christmas holidays, if you're well enough, I want you to come work the American Ministry to double. It's close to the border, so there'll be few problems.  
  
That Garade fellow seems interested enough, so I'm taking him up as apprentice in your absence. I don't think it'll last, he's too hotheaded. I need you back ASAP. Well, the twins send regards, and a few of Mel's friends are wondering when Black is going to come back. Lucky bastard, I say...  
  
Suck it up,  
  
Caleb  
  
P.S.- I don't know when it's going to arrive, but a few of the Healers here threw together a test potion. It might speed up your recovery, if it's right anyway, so keep an eye out for it. I'm not sure if it will make it though... Hope it does.  
  
  
_Remus! Ha, come look at this! James called from across the dorm room. Stuffing the letter away, he strode over, finding James and Sirius rummaging through Peter's belongings.  
  
Found his O.W.L. results. James said with an evil glint in his eyes.  
  
Guys, if he didn't want us to see them, leave them alone.  
  
Shut up, you know you want to know how bad he did. Sirius said. Remus shrugged, silently agreeing as he crouched down behind them.  
  
Six? Jesus, he barely passed altogether! Remus blurted out.  
  
He scored just above the bare minimum for almost everything.  
  
No, but look at his History marks. James said quickly, pointing to the correct line. He scored higher than you Moony.  
  
No bloody wonder, he always has his fat little nose in a war book. Sirius muttered. I'll never understand that little prat. It's like he almost enjoys the thought of being at war.  
  
Well, he is more than a bit odd. James pointed out. Personally, it scares the hell out of me.  
  
Don't be such a wimp. Sirius joked. In a month or so the Ministry will have everything under control, it's just a matter of time.  
  
Remus wanted to tell them otherwise, desperately. It was only a matter of time until the Dark would take their hold on the world... Soon enough, they would know. Ms. Horder had been right, there was no way to hide a war from the eyes of children. In time, it would all be clear.  
  
Remus, you alright?  
  
Snapping out of his daydream, he nodded, looking over the O.W.L. scores again.  
  
Anyone up for bombing the Slytherin dorms? he asked quite suddenly. They quickly agreed, all silently needing a break from the war business.  
  
  
  
Did you hear?  
  
It can't be real.  
  
I don't believe it, it's just a scam. The Ministry is always doing this.  
  
Seven people though...  
  
What will happen next?  
  
The whispers spread like wildfire through the Great Hall as the Marauders lazily made their way down to a late breakfast. As soon as they passed through the double doors, they were greeted by a chaotic mass of frightened students. Or, for the most part. The majority of the Slytherin table seemed to be smiling very smugly, as were a few Hufflepuffs.  
  
Looking up at the head Table, three of the boys noticed Dumbledore was gone, along with McGonnagal. Peter was too busy looking about in nervous excitement to realize this.  
  
What's goin' on? Remus asked, tapping Alex on the shoulder. Pale faced and hazy-eyes, he handed Remus a newspaper before letting his head fall to the table.  
  
Holy shit- he blurted out. James and Sirius went rigid next to him, eyes not believing what they saw.  
  
_Seven_ Ministry officials gone missing? Remus asked himself.   
  
How can half the Defense unit disappear? Sirius asked, face blank. His hands were shaking slightly, and his eyes had dilated. James put a hand on his shoulder, reading the unspoken thoughts.  
  
Good thing your father switched. he mumbled, Sirius nodding.  
  
It's started. Remus said to himself, looking around the Great Hall. All around there were stunned faces and whispered conversations, half-glances shot frequently to the tightlipped Head Table.  
  
Carlison was right... Trailing off, he looked back to Alex, and frowned. Hey, what's wrong? he inquired, sitting down next to him. In all the excitement, no one else seemed to notice that he was actually to the point of tears.  
  
No one knows it. he said bitterly, eyes locked across the room. Remus followed his gaze, watching in disgust as a pack of Slytherin sixth and seventh years began to laugh and joke over the ordeal.  
  
About the war?  
  
Alex nodded, not bothering to question how Remus knew. I don't even think half the staff knows.  
  
I don't think half the people fighting know what they're doing. Remus mumbled._  
  
_It's so... It's so Goddamn stupid... he trailed off, eyes locked upon his laughing brother and his pack of delighted comrades._  
  
_Killing always is...  
  
_  
Caleb, you can't be serious. The entire Ministry is on watch for anything suspicious, there's no way you can get out alive.  
  
Lives are at stake, and if I die trying, so be it. I won't sit by and let the innocent perish without a fighting chance.  
  
Let me come with you.  
  
No, there isn't any point risking another. Stay behind and watch the twins-  
  
I'm coming with you, whether you like it or not.   
  
Fine... Just stay out of the way, and get your ass out if anything goes awry.  
  
  
_I still can't believe this. Sirius muttered from behind, snapping Remus back to reality.  
  
I can. James choked out, face strung tight. At his side, the other two Marauders fell silent, only offering a hand on his shoulder.  
  
Come on, let's go bomb the dungeons or something. Peter suggested for the first time in his life.   
  
Yeah, it's too tense up here. Sirius agreed, trying to smile.  
  
What happens now? a first-year whispered nervously to her friend as the pack passed by for a tunnel back to the dorms.  
  
What if we go to war?  
  
We can't go to war. Dumbledore's here, nothing'll go wrong. another boy her age snapped, brushing aside all caution.  
  
With an earnest shake of his head, Remus watched his friends slip behind a banner behind an abnormally quiet James.  
  
  
  
On the table, Viator sat impatiently, a tattered package tied to his leg. Remus unraveled the twine, and sighed regretfully at the little broken vile of an attempted remedy.  
  
So much for a normal year. he grumbled.  
  
  
_  
  
_**A/n- Well, another down, another down. THANK YOU NEW READERS. And veterans, I love you! You guys keep me going, you know that? :) Cheers!  
  
  
**Iggie  
  
**Fic of the Day- The Lyria Strider Guide to Driving by Lyria Padfoot: **Muggle driving lessons, in a wizard's eye! VERY funny, I guarantee you'll laugh your ass off. 


	42. Part XLII Peragro

A/n- More depressing enjoyment for ya.  
  
Disclaimer- Too angry to bother.  
  
Rating- You know by now.  
  
Chapter Keywords- Canon Willow incident, lots of Sirius action (no pun intended).  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XLII - Peragro  
  
  
  
  
POTTER! BLACK!  
  
Laughing to themselves, the two dashed off down a hallway, leaving Remus and Peter to snigger under the Invisibility Cloak. Filch ran after the pair, bellowing madly, face scrunched up in an angry ball.  
  
You would think he'd have given up after so long. Peter muttered with a smile as they watch their companions disappear into a tunnel, Filch running past them.  
  
Right-out prat if you ask me. Remus commented lazily. With another wave of attacks within Ministry departments, the Marauders had declared it their personal mission to keep the castle in good humour.  
  
  
By the start of October, a morning down poor inside the Great Hall, a chain explosion in the dungeons during testing, some mysterious Charm spreading through the Slytherins that resulted in multi-coloured hair, and a plague of Dungbombs had already been unleashed. With Remus' access to the Restricted Section, James and Sirius were creating more clever pranks to pull by the day. James had already compiled a list of Slytherin torture that could easily last them until the holidays.  
  
  
So Remus, you up for Quidditch? Sirius asked in mid-October over breakfast.   
  
After a moment of thought, he shrugged. I'm not sure really... It's difficult for me to run in the halls and all, so physically I shouldn't really play. But dammit, I want to kill the Snakes this year. he replied, forgetting Lily was once again sitting with them. Sirius grinned, and nodded his head approvingly.  
  
Very good. The reserve team has nothing to offer and once again we're at a lost for Keeper, so we definitely need you this year, more than ever.  
  
If I can't keep my breath during practice, I'm not going to try the matches.  
  
Come on Moony, James interrupted, frowning. You're the only one in our class who can take down Horder on your own. I'd say you're physically well enough to beat around a few Quaffles.  
  
That's different... I tap a different power source for combat. Remus said through his cereal. That's the wolf. It's completely-  
  
And if you didn't notice, he about keels over dead after Defense. Lily interrupted. Which you didn't, since all you do is stare at Professor Horder. she said, glaring obviously at James. He smiled guiltily, half-shrugging.  
  
Well, she is-  
  
Don't you dare finish that sentence James Potter. Lily warned.  
  
  
  
And you know where you went wrong?  
  
Kept my left side unguarded while I attacked. Remus mumbled. Ms. Horder took her wand away from his throat, nodding her head to the class.  
  
she said as he struggled to his feet. _Never_ leave yourself unguarded.  
  
As he was dismissed to the back of the classroom, Remus silently thanked God he was still able to move at all. James and Sirius put a hand apiece on his shoulders, noticing now that he was undergoing a quiet battle to keep up appearances.  
  
Hey, you last longer than the rest of us. Alex said from his standing, cutting back in line so as to avoid having a turn.  
  
Avery, up here, now. Horder said sweetly, motioning him over. With a groan, he dragged his feet along to the center of the cleared-out room.  
  
Y'know, she goes pretty hard on Alex. Sirius observed.  
  
Probably because his brother is involved in things he shouldn't be.  
  
Remus let out a sigh as once again Snape butted in to their conversation.  
  
What do you mean?  
  
Come now Potter, you can't be so blind as to not notice all the things happening in our school. You're midnight romps are not unique in happening.  
  
Bug off Snape. Sirius snapped.  
  
Far be it from me to pull you from your perfect little world Black. Just keep in mind that someday you'll wake up and reality will have smacked you down.  
  
  
_Moony, please! You have to believe me. I would never-  
  
Get him out of here.  
  
Moony, no! You don't understand! Please, just listen-Moony you can't let them!  
  
How... How could you?  
  
Get in there Black, and shut up.  
  
  
_You dizzy or something? Sirius asked. Shaking his head, Remus sighed and wished away his silly little dreams.  
  
No, I'm fine.  
  
  
  
Can you guys wait outside or something? Remus mumbled, rubbing his head. Peter crept out through the door, quite thankful to be gone. The transformations scared the hell out of him usually, he was too disgusted to remain in the same room. But as usual, Sirius stayed behind a moment.  
  
This is the Luna Bonae Indolis, isn't it? he asked, eyes narrowed. With a slight nod, Remus muttered a yes, and curled himself up on the tattered bed.  
  
I thought so... Me and James were checking some lunar charts in the Restricted Section. he mused, sitting down against the door. I had no idea each moon was different for you.  
  
Every single one has a different affect.  
  
Yeah, that's what the books said.  
  
Then you know that this time, I'll have no control over myself, at all? he said, looking up. Already his eyes were shadowed, even though the last remains of the sunlight kept the room dimly lit. Sirius nodded his head, smiling.  
  
James is pissed he couldn't come, but we needed him to cover. I'll bet twenty Galleons Pete goes off squealing tonight.  
  
For good reason... The last time Bonae Indolis was in alignment I killed someone.  
  
Despite everything Remus expected, his friend did not flinch, or even turn away. He kept smiling slightly, arms crossed over his chest.  
  
I'll just be sure to keep a close watch on you... Dumbledore was insane, thinking this Shack could hold you up. he said thoughtfully, eyeing the thin walls. Remember last year when we didn't get down early enough?  
  
Laughing to himself, Remus grinned. I nearly broke a hole in the side of this place trying to get out. After the memories died away, Remus hung his head, eyes closed. Taking the signal, the black dog soon replaced where Sirius once stood.  
  
I'll be right outside, so howl when you're done. he barked playfully, tail wagging a mile a minute.  
  
  
  
Oh bloody hell. Remus groaned. Two sets of hands helped him sit upright, leaning him against the splintering walls of the Shrieking Shack.  
  
What time is it? he grumbled, tasting warm blood in his mouth. One of the Marauders handed him his wand, which he quickly put to use.  
  
Five seventeen. he heard James inform. You still have a while before Pomfrey comes down, Davey got whacked by the Whomping Willow last night.  
  
With a sinking feeling in his gut, he finally opened his eyes, and saw that both James and Sirius were fairly roughed up.  
  
So what happened?  
  
Well, to sum it up fairly quickly, you went nuts. James commented. You kept sprinting off, and it was hell keeping you under control. I couldn't come down until midnight, no one went to bed early... We ended up having Peter keep a lookout from a tree, and we corralled you whenever you bolted. he said.  
  
But it was pretty difficult, more than I thought. Davey Gudgeon and his friends came down late and were drunk as hell as far as I could tell. They kept trying to run in and touch the Willow trunk, but Davies got smacked in the head _really_ hard. We were back in the brush keeping you down when it happened...  
  
Then one of the guys ran back to the school to get help. Figured it'd be a really bad idea if we got caught, so me and Padfoot drove you into the woods pretty deep. James added.  
  
But once again you sprinted, and Pete never saw which way you went.  
  
Oh God... Remus grumbled, looking down at his feet. I... I didn't, you know... Sirius and James looked at each other for a moment, biting their lips.  
  
You ran off and we couldn't catch you-  
  
But you didn't bite anyone. Sirius assured. Nah, Prongs caught you right before you went into the clearing. Pomfrey and that lot of prats never caught a glimpse of you. he said, trailing off. For a moment, Remus thought they weren't being completely truthful, but Peter's shrill voice cut his pondering.  
  
Guys, she's coming! Peter yelled, bursting into the door. With apologetic shrugs, the three Marauders quickly ran their way out of the tunnel.  
  
Falling back onto the bed, Remus stared up at the swirling ceiling for a good five minutes.  
  
Sometimes I think Rom was right... Hogwarts wasn't ready for me.  
  
  
  
It was very fortunate for James and Sirius that there was a Quidditch match that afternoon, otherwise their visible bruises and gashes would have brought about unwanted questioning. The downside to the game was Remus was barely able to stagger off the field afterwards, even with two supports int he form of his friends. As soon as they hit the lockers, James and Sirius helped him to a bench.  
  
I can't believe Slytherin beat us that bad. Kayre grumbled, throwing her gear down on the ground. It's impossible with Galle on the team! I mean, Lord above. We don't have time to catch the Snitch with him pounding Bludgers at James every three seconds!  
  
Then we need to take _him_ out.  
  
Impossible, not with the Chasers going at Lupin every other turnover. the new Chaser, a short boy by the name of Eric Rineson, said with a sigh.  
  
Sorry about that, I _did_ warn you all I can't play too well right now. Remus started.  
  
Eh, not your fault. Blasted Slytherins are doing something illegal, I swear...  
  
  
  
Need some help there? Lily offered, coming up behind him.   
  
Shouldn't you be with your team? he mumbled, though accepting the shoulder.  
  
I hate every last one of them, and anyway, I'd rather not get in trouble with the Ministry. she said quietly.  
  
  
  
Never mind that, are you alright?  
  
Just a little exhausted. I'll be alright once I get some sleep. Remus said.  
  
Or so you hope.  
  
You don't have to worry about me-  
  
Of course I do, same with James and Sirius. You don't worry about yourself, sure as day, so we have to. she said with a smile. You're such a prat sometimes, you know that? Lily added to herself, tucking a loose lock of fiery hair behind her ear. We're not going to think you're weak or anything like that if you ask for help every now and then.  
  
Amused that she could read his thoughts so easily, Remus shook his head.  
  
You always seem to compete with James and Sirius, on everything. If I didn't know any better I'd say you were about as insecure as a first year Hufflepuff.  
  
Hey, I am n-  
  
Mr. Lupin, can I see you in my office for a moment?  
  
Looking up, Remus saw a very tight-faced McGonnagal standing in the doorway. Sirius was at her side, eyes blank of any emotion.  
  
What's going on? Lily whispered, helping him up the stairs.  
  
I... I don't know... he mumbled, hands shaking. The solemn look in Sirius' eyes could only mean one thing in his mind.  
  
  
  
Why the hell are Dumbledore and Snape in there? And why am _I_ here?  
  
Still pale-faced, Sirius shook his head, lips cold. It... I told them it wasn't you, b-but...  
  
Padfoot, _please_ tell me they don't-  
  
Not... Not everyone, I mean, if... he started, and shut his eyes as the doors opened. Dumbledore came out, face barren of any indications as he beckoned the pair inside. They found Snape and James sitting aside each other, none too pleased, in front of Dumbledore's desk.  
  
Mr. Lupin, are you aware of Mr. Gudgeon venturing too close to the Whomping Willow last night? he asked calmly, hands folded over his desk as he sat down. Remus nodded once, wondering, with a racing heart, what was going on. Being in Dumbledore's office was not new to him, or the Marauders as a whole, but Snape towing along for the ride was a first.  
  
And Sirius never looked nervous. Ever.  
  
Where you aware that Mr. Snape here was also out last night?  
  
Looking over to his friends, his face went cold.  
  
I'm sorry. Sirius growled under his breath, the others not hearing.  
  
he said. To his surprise, his own voice was beginning to shake.  
  
Then I believe there are a few things your friends may wish to discuss with you for a few minutes... Severus, if you would follow me. Dumbledore said, leading the Slytherin out of the room. On his way, Snape cleverly managed to kick Sirius in the shins without the Headmaster being aware of it.  
  
What the hell is going on? His voice cracked as he spoke, breaking off at the end. He was greeted by two solemn frowns, and no immediate reply.  
  
  
  
Very slowly, James tore his eyes away from the ground.  
  
Last night, after Gudgeon got hit and the crowd cleared away, Snape saw Sirius in human form in the woods. he mumbled, not daring to look Remus in the eye.  
  
We got in a fight... Sirius started, not looking up at all. He wanted to know what we were doing out here...  
  
Picking up where Sirius fell silent, James continued. After an argument that delved to topics I'd rather not say, Sirius told him, unintentionally, to sod off and lock yourself in the tunnel'.  
  
Padfoot, you didn't! Remus blurted out, almost jumping to his feet. Face scrunched up, he only nodded.  
  
Naturally Snape wanted to know what he meant. James went on, wringing his hands in his robes. And, well... Sirius lost his tempter. Kind of, well...  
  
I told him to press the knot and figure it out for himself. Sirius admitted.   
  
We locked you back inside, when Grudgeon and his lot were messing around. Sirius had chased them away for a while, and the dolts were too wasted to see us sneak you in. James said quietly as Remus fell back to his chair.  
  
This is it... I'll finally be expelled... he said weakly. The blood he had tasted couldn't possibly had been his own.  
  
And... And when Snape froze the Willow after Pomfrey took Davey away, James went on, face frozen like a stone. Well... He got halfway down.  
  
Remus finally asked, glaring at Sirius.  
  
James didn't know about our toil, he was off with Peter. Sirius mumbled, hands in his hair. Once he found out it was almost too late.  
  
Ears perking up, he half-smiled hopefully.   
  
I got to Snape before he opened the door. James said. But... Well, to put it ungracefully, he knows that the Shack isn't haunted.  
  
  
  
Remus, you do realize that Severus has legal rights to press charges. Dumbledore said quietly. Once this matter gets into the hands of the Ministry, well-  
  
I know, I know. Remus snapped. His eyes were red, and though he would never admit it, he knew he was crying freely. Raking his fingers once more through his tangle of hair, he rolled his eyes at life.  
  
And then I'll be Registered and strictly forbidden' to come anywhere near Hogwarts, or any community for that fact... Then sent off to one of those Goddamn camps. he said in a daze.  
  
But he didn't even _do_ anything! Sirius snapped from the doorway. Dumbledore peered at him disapprovingly, for they were supposed to have gone back to the Common Room a while ago.  
  
The Ministry won't care. Remus said, eyes going wet again. All they'll see is that I'm a werewolf and I could have killed someone.  
  
It was my fault though,  
  
You don't _get_ it! Remus barked. Dammit Sirius, you don't understand! They wont give a damn that I wasn't even involved, it wont even cross their mind...  
  
Sirius looked to the Headmaster for some sort of advice, and was appalled to find him only nodding in confirmation.  
  
That isn't fair though, I mean... You didn't, you didn't even know! It was the Luna Bonae Indolis, you couldn't...  
  
Mr. Black, I'm sad to say Remus is correct, in every matter. Dumbledore said at long last, breaking the silence. Even though he did not participate in the ordeal, the fact remains that he is here in the first place. There are strict laws against werewolves being in wizarding communities... I had to find many loopholes just to house him in the first place. he informed. For a moment, the only sound either could hear was Remus' pathetic sobs and murmurs to noone.  
  
I won't let him. Sirius snapped, hitting his fist against the door. You can't expel him, I-  
  
If I had a choice, Mr. Black, I would not.  
  
But _I did it_! Doesn't that mean anything? Anything? Sirius asked, shaking his head. This whole thing is my fault anyway, Remus shouldn't have his life destroyed because I messed up-  
  
It's not your fault. Remus said once, looking up. It's my fault for coming here. My fault for being alive.  
  
Without warning, he pushed Sirius aside and sprinted down to short staircase, leaving behind a passionate friend and a troubled elder.  
  
I think it would be best if he has some time to himself. Dumbledore suggested. Shaking his head vigorously, Sirius shut his eyes.  
  
I swear to God sir, if he's alone for five minutes it'll be his last.  
  
That said, he too ran past the stone gargoyle.  
  
  
  
Why doesn't he show up on the Map?  
  
Maybe he left the grounds, he's done it before.  
  
Well the Ministry will be after him soon, he shouldn't run-  
  
Do you really think logic is anywhere in his head right now Pete?  
  
Well I was just thinking-  
  
Don't even think you bloody git. it's a waste of energy.  
  
Padfoot, cut it out. You're being a bit harsh-  
  
Don't either of you get it at ALL? the voice yelled, piecing the silence of the quiet dungeons. He's going to be killed or something, because I got pisse doff at Snape other a nothing. I am _not_ going to sit around and let him be executed.  
  
  
Hunched back in his tunnel, Remus held his knee's to his chest, ignoring all the shouts he could hear through the walls. All he heard was the ringing silence, and a bitter voice lashing out a harsh reality, split between another life and now.  
  
_I'm sorry Moony, I... I didn't mean to... I swear Moony, please- No, don't go! I haven't explained! I-  
  
  
  
_**A/n- Well, another one down. I was debating whether or not I should add that part of canon into my fic, but since I had a brief spell of writers block, I figured this could lend a cure. Thanks for all the reviews :)  
  
**Iggie  
  
**Fic of the Day- To Kneel by Green Eyed Lady: **A non-slash story of the odd friendship between one Remus Lupin and Severus Snape. Full of sarcasm and witty quips, this is definitely a must-read for fans of the duo.  
  
**Title meaning**- Peragro means never ending'. I thought it appropriate, as this supposive five-chapter beast just keeps going. Expect at _least_ another ten chapters.


	43. Part XLIII Rags and Turmoil

A/n- Well, round forty three (!) for you. Trust me, it _will_ end at some point... Maybe. I've been told this is the Fic That Never Ends... Now sing with me.   
  
::This is the fic that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends... Someday she started writing, not knowing where to go... And she'll continue writing now forever just because this is the fic that never ends....::  
  
Disclaimer- I'll give you a hint. It isn't me. o_O  
  
Rating- A very stressed PG-13 for language and very dark depressing and otherwise not child-friendly-like themes.  
  
Chapter Keys- This contains much Sirius Black, seeing as I'm depressed, and now I feel like writing him. So... Yeah.  
  
**Note-** This is an experimental chapter. I didn't like it at all, and it may be changed to a newer version once I can produce a logical thought. Just a warning that this wont be my best of work yet.  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XLIII - Rags and Turmoil  
  
  
  
  
Moony! Moony, come on, where are you? Mooooooo-neeeeey!  
  
With an exhausted sigh, Sirius leaned against a broad oak tree, eyes glaring at the heavens.  
  
Why the hell does everything have to happen to him? he questioned God, frowning deeply. He deserves riches and peace, not rags and turmoil.  
  
With a shake of his head, he looked away from the grey clouds. Don't even make it rain, or I swear on my life... he warned no one in particular, setting off once again.  
  
Find anything? a voice bellowed in the distance, belonging to none other than James Potter.  
  
Sirius shouted back, cupping his hands for extra volume.  
  
Sniff him out or something! James suggested from afar.  
  
  
  
Smell him out! he shouted again.  
  
Already tried that, didn't work!  
  
  
  
Never mind! Sirius bellowed, rubbing at his throat. It was not easy to shout over the commotion of the Forbidden Forest, especially when the conversation was at such a distance.  
  
Come on Moony, where'd you go? he grumbled.  
  
--  
  
Have you seen Remus?  
  
Run off, has he? Snape asked in amusement, smiling sardonically.  
  
God dammit, this is all your fault anyway. Sirius grumbled, starting off.  
  
Correct me if my memory fails, but were you not the one who tried to send me to my death? Snape asked.  
  
Do you even know what they _do_ to registered werewolves? Sirius spat, turning around. For the first time, Snape offered no snide quip or sarcastic insult. He merely shook his head.  
  
They kill them. he said simply, running off again.  
  
I never said- Snape started, but Sirius had already rounded the corner.  
  
--  
  
Alex, have you seen Remus anywhere? James asked, popping his head into the Common Room for the fifth time in a half hour.  
  
Not since the game, why?  
  
If you see him, put your wand to his head and make sure he stays put. he said calmly, rushing out of the room again. Blinking to himself, Alex nodded, eyebrow raised high.  
  
Uh... Yeah...  
  
--  
  
Dammit James, he's been gone for two hours! Sirius whined, poking at his lunch irritably. And he's missing a meal. This is serious.  
  
Well we've checked everywhere, I don't know what else to do. He could be out of the country for all I know- he said, and trailed off.  
  
You don't think-  
  
He wouldn't-  
  
the both said, jumping up from their chairs and scrambling back to the dorms.  
  
  
So how fast can you get it there?  
  
Fifteen minutes or so...  
  
That fast?  
  
Personal couriers have their advantage. James said without a hint of vanity. He tapped out a sequence on a special blue sheet of parchment he kept in his drawer, and quickly began to write a letter. When he signed with a flourish, the paper vanished in a small Thwip!'.  
  
Now we wait...  
  
  
James announced grimly, crumpling up the returned parchment in a fit of anger.  
  
And I thought for sure he'd go straight to the Underground.  
  
They could've lied, you know, protect him or something.  
  
No, Caleb would tell us.  
  
What about his brother? James suggested.  
  
Not a chance, he's always so determined to not bother the kid. Sirius muttered, slamming his fist down on the night table. We have to find him, I swear to God Prongs, he's gonna do something he'll regret. I don't know, it's some... Gut feeling, or something.  
  
I'll go check and see if Peter found him in the dungeons. James said, heading out the door. He paused after a few steps, and looked back.  
  
Hey Padfoot... What was Remus wearing?  
  
His Quidditch robes and a black sweatshirt, I believe. Why?  
  
James pointed to the foot of Remus' bed, where a muddy red robe and a battered black sweatshirt lay, along with filthy shoes.  
  
Oh bloody hell. Sirius grumbled to himself, turning the bathroom doorknob after three quick strides.  
  
Remus, are you in here? he asked, James creeping inside behind him. Mentally he left a note that he would have to include bathrooms on the Marauders Map sometime in the near future.  
  
Finding the golden-handle shower stall, he jumped up, and peered over the sides of the walls apprehensively. Immediately he fell backwards, James catching him before he bashed his head against a sink.  
  
Not there? James asked, standing him up.  
  
He... He's there... Sirius said, eyes glazing over as he swallowed. Or at least...  
  
  
  
Good thing he kept his pants on. James said, and was scowled at.  
  
How can even you joke?  
  
What, I was just stating my delight that he decided to mope about in the shower with most of his clothes on. James snapped back, twisting the dial on the wall and cutting the water flow. I can't believe this...  
  
I can. Sirius said in a half voice, propping Remus up against the wet walls. Leaning in, he lightly hit the sides of his face until two bloodshot and otherwise moist eyes slowly opened.  
  
God dammit. he muttered, trying to shove his friends away. Leave me alone.  
  
Not likely. James said. Not unless some of those Death Eater fellows bust in here am I even going to _move_. he declared, pulling out his wand and Summoning a few fluffy white towels from across the room. Padfoot, would you mind waking up? he added, rolling up Remus' sleeves. He cringed for a moment, and quickly covered the gashes with a towel.  
  
How could you? Sirius finally blurted out.  
  
How could I what. Remus mumbled, voice barely audible. It wasn't a question, more a silent repetition, telling himself the very same thing.  
  
Hold still for a minute. James interrupted, tightly pulling a conjured bandage at the top of Remus' forearm. He shut his eyes, not wincing at the pain, but in a sudden shock of reality.  
  
I just don't understand...  
  
Sirius, leave him be for a while. James said as gently as he could, though still stern. I doubt he needs to be badgered...  
  
Shouldn't we go get McGonnagal or something? Sirius asked after a moment.  
  
And have her flip out on us more? That isn't going to help him any. he said, for a while acting as though Remus weren't even there. He carried on, inexpertly trying to clean everything up.  
  
We have to tell someone-  
  
Sirius, for once in your life, just shut up.  
  
  
  
Mr. Lupin, you need to come out of there at some point.  
  
Sirius let out a long sigh, watching as his friend made no reaction to the insistent poundings of Professor McGonnagal. With a soft mutter, the professor left again. Remus lay on his bed still, as he had been doing so for the better of the day. Fearful that he'd go off and hurt himself again, James and Sirius stayed with him in shifts, neither successful in drawing out any words. For all Remus cared, he was dead in his own right.  
  
Remus, come on... Come down to Hogsmeade, we'll get some butterbeers. Sirius suggested as the Transfiguration teacher went off finally. With no answer, he shook his head, and pulled the bed curtains open.  
  
Please, just come out for a little while... he pleaded, face white again. We can go raid Zonko's, or Honeydukes...  
  
Just leave me alone.  
  
God dammit, when are you going to realize I will _not_, under any circumstances, leave you alone? Last time you were left alone you tried to bloody kill yourself!  
  
Such a pity that failed. he grumbled. Sirius sat down on the bed, and with a small frown, flicked Remus on the forehead. He snapped his eyes open, and scowled.  
  
What'd you do that for you you stupid git?  
  
Sirius declared triumphantly, smiling. See, Moony's still down there somewhere. he said, offering a grin that was, to his amazement, returned.  
  
Now come on, we'll go down to the Three Broomsticks... I can distract Rosie and get you something strong if you like. he said, pulling Remus unwillingly to his feet. And besides, Dumbledore and McGonnagal have been going nuts trying to find you. Best you get drunk first, eh?  
  
Depressed werewolves and alcohol don't mix. Caleb taught me this well. Remus grumbled.  
  
  
  
So really, Sirius, why do look like you just got plowed in the head with a Bludger? Not that you always don't, but... James asked, ordering another round of drinks.  
  
If the Ministry gets involved with Remus, it'll be my fault. Sirius said quietly, glancing a table over where Lily was attempting to cheer up the silent werewolf.  
  
You've heard him... They kill werewolves in Britain, either that or he'll be registered and sent off to a secure living area'. he grumbled, draining his third tankard. If I hadn't gone and opened my bloody mouth-  
  
Sirius, listen to me for a minute. James interrupted, donning hi very rare solemn face. You can't blame yourself for this, at least not around him. he said, jerking his thumb at Remus, who sat with his chin in his hand, twirling a straw in his drink. He just tried to take his own life because he thinks he's messing ours around.  
  
Sirius blinked, never having thought such.   
  
Every time that someone inadvertently gets hurt because of him, he gets depressed as hell. If this was just a matter of him facing the Ministry, he wouldn't care at all. Christ, he worked for the Ministry in the very department that deals with werewolves... He's clearly not afraid of that. James pointed out. He's been different since the summer, he doesn't worry as much.  
  
He just tried to _kill_ himself. Sirius snapped.  
  
Because he figures _we're_ going to be dragged down with him! James muttered. He could have bitten Snape, that's probably a big part of it to. He talks in his sleep all the time, he's more afraid of biting someone than he is of dying himself.  
  
Why should he care about us being taken down? If we did something to put ourselves in the position... Namely me, we'd deserve it, which I do. Sirius said, frowning thoughtfully as the drinks were placed on the table.  
  
I guess he's never had friends like us, he always says that.  
  
If you ask me, he thinks too much for his own good.  
  
Well we certainly know your philosophy. James snorted.  
  
What's that supposed to mean?  
  
Oh, nothing.... Nothing at all.  
  
  
  
No you don't. James snapped, grabbing the knife away from Remus. He blinked, and for a moment, wondered why he was forbidden to butter his biscuit.  
  
Not while I'm around. he warned, setting the utensil out of reach. Rolling his eyes, Remus made to take Alex's, but Sirius got to it before him.  
  
Good ham, isn't it? he said casually, again prohibiting the werewolf from taking another knife. James offered him a pre-buttered roll with a grin.  
  
Care for a scone Moony?  
  
You guys are impossible. he muttered, snatching the bread before they decided it was too sharp for him.  
  
Well, I have to be off. James announced. Me and Peter have a few Dungbombs to set.  
  
Peter looked up at mention of his name, and was dragged off by his robes.  
  
Sometimes I feel sorry for the little rat. Sirius mused.  
  
I envy him. Remus said softy, stabbing his ham violently with his spoon, which was a thing only Remus could accomplish without looking foolish.  
  
  
  
One eye open, Remus waited a few minutes after the snoring began. Silently, he slipped one foot out of bed, then the other. Before he made it two steps to the door, a hand reached out from James' bed, pulling him back.  
  
Not gonna happen. he said coyly, smiling under the sheets. Letting a sigh escape his lips, Remus rolled his eyes.  
  
Can't I go to the bathroom without supervision? he asked, thoroughly annoyed.  
  
Sirius said, sitting up in his bed. Peter, across, did likewise.  
  
Come to think of it, I have to go too. he said with a smile.   
  
Shaking his head, Remus flopped back into his bed.  
  
What, don't have to go anymore? Peter asked with a quiet laugh. The three smiled, and flicked off their lights after a unanimous goodnight.  
  
I hate my life. Remus grumbled, putting a pillow over his head.  
  
  
  
Are you going to try and act normal? Sirius asked in the early morning, stretching his arms and yawning as he sat up. For several hours Remus had been awake, reading over Cor's journal again, comparing notes from James' translations. It was a very comforting thought to know someone else had gone through such a miserable time at one point in their life. Cor, the old fool, had a very fine with with expressing his satirical opinions about life while still writing out information.  
  
Sorry about yesterday...  
  
Like you need to apologize. Sirius snorted, sitting down on the floor as he attempted to pull on his boots. And anyway, I read that the Luna Bonae Indolis is known to cause temporary and drastic changes in character.  
  
Remus smiled to himself, not believing that. Society over-exaggerates the mental changes during full moons, he mused.   
  
How's the arm?  
  
Not getting a reply, he took matters in his own hands, and wrestled it free, stripping the improvised bandages away.  
  
Oh, lovely. Infected. he mused. Maybe you should check Pomfrey on that, I doubt that particular shade of green indicates anything good.  
  
Tearing his arm back, Remus rubbed at the wounds, trying to pick the scabs. Sirius flicked him on the forehead again.  
  
Blood. Is. Bad. Concept, learn it. he said with a grin. I'll have James follow you down to the library, you can probably find some advanced Healing books with all your O.W.L. privileges. he said.  
  
For a while Remus spaced out, mind a blur. Much as wanted different, he knew his friends treating him like a child was for the better.  
  
God, I need to straighten my life out... he said to himself, falling back on the bed. The swirling pattern of the ceiling- dancing, he thought in amusement- helped to ease his troubled mind.  
  
Maybe I should write Rom. God, its been so long. he said out loud, a moment later scrapping up a piece of paper and a loose quill.  
  
_Hey there,  
  
What's it been, a month or two? Jesus, we really need to spend some time over the holiday's, you've missed... A lot. More than a lot. I was compelled to write you, seeing as my friends have me under prison watch for various reasons. How is everything? On my side of the table, well, thing's couldn't really be much worse. I'd rather explain later, so... Write me back, alright? We need to catch up on each other.  
  
Rem  
  
_Hey Padfoot, can you go get an owl or something?  
  
Will you last one minute twenty-three seconds without trying to kill yourself? he asked, and despite the sarcastic laughter, he was being dead serious.  
  
Be quick. Remus said with a small smile. No sooner had he said that, Sirius burst out through one of his hidden passages.  
  
  
  
Are you going to be alright, I mean, well...  
  
Remus said, walking in stride with his friends. Lily hadn't been told what had happened, though she knew Snape was involved in something. They had come back from playing a short scrimmage of Quidditch canceled by James taking a Bludger to his jaw. He now walked ahead a few paces with his girlfriend, who was making a very big fuss about the hit.  
  
You sure?  
  
Yes Padfoot, stop badgering me. he snapped, though all meant in good humor. I figured even if I am Registered there's no chance at all that you and James would let me leave.  
  
Damn right. James said from up ahead, cursing as he threw his jaw out of alignment again. Lily scoffed him on the head, and to Sirius and Remus' amusement, ended up dragging him off to the Infirmary through passages even they didn't know existed.  
  
Really, you're okay with everything?  
  
Rolling his eyes, Remus nodded his head. Were you dropped on the head as a child or what? I said I was fine.  
  
Considering your past vows of that I can't take it in full heart.  
  
Remus went ahead a few paces to hide the fact that he was grinning in a teary manner.  
  
They actually cared...  
  
  
Mr. Lupin, may I speak with you for a moment? Dumbledore asked, tapping him on the shoulder as the pair walked by. They stopped, turned around as one, staring up dreadfully.  
  
Anything you have to say to him concerns me. Sirius piped, trying to suppress the sinking feeling in his stomach. Dumbledore nodded, and ushered them into his office. When the Headmaster had his back turned, Sirius yanked down on Remus' sleeves, making sure to cover the poorly-dressed wounds.  
  
Remus, I have quite a bit to explain, but-  
  
As soon as he began, Remus shut hs eyes, hands gripping at the sides of the chair. He felt Sirius nudge him once, smiling softly.  
  
Don't worry. Me and James'll beat them over the head with French bread before they ever lay a hand on you. he mumbled under his breath.  
  
Comforting thought. Remus snapped. My friends will to such great lengths for me as to defend my life with bread.  
  
You deserve only the best.  
  
Clearing his throat, Dumbledore smiled for a moment, and went on.  
  
  
  
**A/n- Sorry, couldn't help myself. :-D I'm having another one of my evil Slyth days. Well, you all are used to it by now, eh? Next one will be out shortly.  
  
Review please!  
  
**Iggie  
  
**Fic of the Day- So Glad to Break It To You by Green Eyed Lady** - Want some seriously tear-inducing sadistic-level angst? Crave for some awesome Remus torture and Snape action, post James-mortum? Well, go to that, and I gar-un-tee you'll find the best of the best. Absolutely wonderful, I highly HIGHLY recommend it. :)**  
  
**Get going! Read it!**  
  
Also note- Everyone here, all of you, must go out and buy a copy of The Ultimate Hitchhikers Guide. **It's the bound series by Douglas Adams, The HItchhikers Guide to the Galaxy books. If you enjoy any kind of humour it will become your second Bible. Buy it. Now.


	44. Part XLIV High Road

A/n - Yes, another one.... Alrigh', maybe this part of the series WILL reach 50 chapter. I don't know.... Well, I'm not even at December of sixth year, so it's bound to be a lot longer. :)  
  
Disclaimer- If you don't bloody know you shouldn't be here.  
  
Rating- PG-13 for swearing violence and misplaced Dungbombs.  
  
Chapter Keywords- Well, Sirius will be none too happy with Snapey-boy.  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XLIV - High Road  
  
  
  
  
_Do not worry little wolf, there-  
  
_Go away.  
  
_But-  
  
_Leave me alone. Remus said again, voice barely making it out of his throat. The wolf took a small step forward, resting her snout on Remus' knee. He brushed it off.  
  
_You have changed little one...  
  
_Well it doesn't matter now! he barked bitterly. Nothing matters! he added in English.  
  
That isn't true at all.   
  
James hopped down from the tree limb, smiling shortly as if he knew all the answers in the world.  
  
What do you want? Remus snapped, looking away sharply.  
  
Do you always have to think people come by just to bother you? Last time I checked it wasn't a sin to worry about your friends. James said. Come to think of it, I _should_ be here. Last time you ran out of Dumbledore's office you tried to kill yourself.  
  
Thanks for the reminder. he mumbled, looking down at the ground. Off in the brush, Shebea growled him a warning to pay attention, though he ignored it entirely.  
  
You might wanna get back to the school, Sirius is in a righteous meltdown.  
  
Why, he'll only be given a detention at worst... Remus said. He's not facing an execution.  
  
You aren't either. James said sternly, throwing a rock at his friend to snap him awake.   
  
Snape filed a complaint with the Ministry...  
  
He's bluffing to piss us off. And if he did, we'll beat the living hell out of that fool if he even tries to testify. he said with the start of a grin. Come on, where's the optimistically wonderful Moony we knew?  
  
James' eyes tried to melt the ice, but Remus merely gazed on.  
  
How can I be optimistic about something I don't believe has a chance?  
  
  
  
Dammit Moony, let me in! Sirius shouted, banging on the door hopelessly. With an angry curse, he slammed his fist once more, not wincing at the pain.   
  
Open the goddamn door! he screamed. James' hand on his shoulder snapped him back to reality.  
  
If you haven't realized Padfoot, he's not too keen on letting us in there. Peter said from the corner of the room, not looking nearly as worried as the others. He hadn't been included in the report, so he felt no need to panic. This couldn't be said of the other half of the Marauders.  
  
If he doesn't let us in there, he'll be dead by the time we figure out the damn ward! Sirius blurted out, beginning to pace about.  
  
He has got the top rank for O.W.L.'s. No doubt he'll know some nasty wards. James said calmly, long since figuring there was no use banging about like a madman. Sirius had yet to reach this conclusion.  
  
Go get McGonnagal. Peter suggested.  
  
What good will that do? James snapped slightly, acting much more calm than he actually was. Sirius showed no such restraint.  
  
Bloody hell, he isn't going to come out until _he_ wants to. he grumbled, finally taking rest on his bed. And by then he'll be dead as a knob.  
  
  
  
_  
  
Yeah? What's up? he asked calmly, stirring a can of beans over a broken range.  
  
Why should I even bother?  
  
With what? the boy questioned, turning around briefly. For reasons unknown, his younger brother looked as though he were about to cry.  
  
If I'm never gonna get anywhere with my life, why should I bother? Wouldn't it... Wouldn't it be easier to, you know, not bother? he mumbled, looking up shortly.   
  
Setting down his spoon, Romolus bit his lip, and pulled up a chair in front of Remus.  
  
Yeah, it would be easier. he said, trying to find the magical set of words that could ease his little brothers mind. But it'd be a cowardly escape.  
  
I'm not a coward. Remus scowled, making a defiant face. Suppressing a laugh, Romolus nodded his head.  
  
I know you aren't, you've never been a coward. Brave as a lion. he agreed with a grin. Just remember that kid, always remember that. The journey in life is worth the start and the end alone...  
  
Didn't mum say that before?  
  
I think so, but it doesn't matter... The easy way it out to any problem is seldom the right way. he said seriously, running a hand through his messy tangle of hair. A drop of sweat dripped down his brow that had nothing to do with the blistering summer heat. Wiping it away, he sighed, and shrugged once.  
  
You're going to have to work harder for everything others take for granted, but never let that put you down. There's never a reason to take the easy way out... As long as you have something worth living for, take the long road and tough it through. he offered.  
  
After a long bout of silence, Remus frowned, and stared up at his psuedo-father.  
  
Does God hate me? he asked.  
  
Eyebrow raised, Romolus froze for a second. Why do you say that?  
  
'Cause he punished me with this curse, and all this. the young boy said, waving his hand around, indicating the shabby little abandoned motel room.  
  
It's not punishment for something you did. Romolus started.  
  
Then why can't I live like normal kids? Why can't I have friends? he grumbled, pouting.  
  
You can have friends, and you will. Romolus said, not knowing whether or not to believe his own words. It would be wrong to lie, but he already had so little to hope in...  
  
You'll make friends, and they'll care for you more than you'll realise.  
  
But I can't go ta' Hogwarts-  
  
It doesn't matter. he interrupted, putting his hands on Remus' shoulders.  
  
Thing's will be hard, not point trying to convince you otherwise. But you're _not_ weak, you can live it out. Take what you can, and hold onto them, alright? he asked, trying to smile, though it was difficult.   
  
'Cause everything's worth fighting for, right?  
  
Exactly. Never give in, even if you have to take the rough road a hundred times over. At some point, you'll find yourself in paradise. God's just making sure you're fit for Heaven.  
  
_Very slowly, Remus cracked the bathroom door open, watching for a moment as James and Sirius argued violently on what to do. Peter snapped at them, pointing to the sliver of light. Stepping inside, Remus was quietly embraced.  
  
Come on, down to Dumbledore. James said under his breath, smiling to himself.  
  
  
  
Can I have a moment alone with Remus?  
  
James and Sirius glanced at each other, and didn't move.   
  
Everything you have to say to him concerns us as well. James said. After a moment of thought, Dumbledore decided it was best not to fight with them.  
  
Alright then. he said.   
  
Biting his lip, Remus swallowed his pride and looked up.   
  
Sir, just tell me what's going to happen. I don't want any sympathetic lies. he mumbled.  
  
With a slightly startled look, Dumbledore sighed. Very well. he said, not expecting him to be so upfront.  
  
It all depends on the complaint Mr. Snape filed, which I'll add he was obliged to do in this case. he said slowly, looking directly at Sirius. Proceedings can go anywhere from a short ordered detention or suspension request, to a small court hearing. he explained, hands folded across the desk.  
  
If it comes to you having to present yourself with the Ministry Remus, it's inevitable that you'll have to be registered. As far as your bother has told me, you're not even registered as a wizard, let alone a werewolf.  
  
You contacted my brother? Remus asked bitterly. Great, now he has to go and worry...  
  
He's still your legal guardian, I'm required to alert him of such things. Dumbledore said.  
  
Well nothing's regulation with me, is it? Next time, leave him out of it. Besides, he's not legally allowed to be a guardian yet, not in Britain anyway.  
  
I'll keep that in mind... the Headmaster uttered to no one in particular, a small smile playing his face. Well, back to the business at hand I take it. As I've said, if the Ministry requires your presence, there will be more consequences than a standard hearing.  
  
How likely is it that he'll be called in? Sirius asked, face shadowed with guilt.  
  
I'm not quite sure, it all depends on Severus' complaint. I can assume it's about a fifty-fifty chance. There are only two officials working the inbox of that department, and I know for fact one is far too lazy to fill out a summons. he said.  
  
Then we pray he picked up that owl... Sirius said to himself.  
  
  
  
Moony, outa bed. We have breakfast in.... Now. James said, pulling the curtains open. Remus scowled, and pulled a pillow over his face to block out the sunlight that was interrupting his sleep.  
  
Not hungry. he grumbled.  
  
My ass you're not hungry. James said with a grin, snatching the pillow.   
  
Come on, get out of bed. We need to go kill Snape. Remember?  
  
You wont get away with it... Remus muttered, yawning. Having fallen asleep two hours previous, he was naturally reluctant to wake.  
  
Care to out money on that? Sirius called from the bathroom, toothpaste dripping from his mouth. Remus momentarily produced a mental image of a rabid dog, and laughed it off.  
  
Not really.  
  
Well, anyway, chipper up. James offered, directing the droggy-eyed Gryffindor to his trunk. Even if we don't kill him, I highly doubt he'll be walking for a good few days.  
  
You guys are in enough trouble. Remus said, pulling on his robes with some difficulty, as his arms weren't cooperating. You can get suspended, easily... With your record, hell, they can kick you off the Quidditch team I bet.  
  
Eh, it'd be worth it just to see Snape cry. Sirius pointed out, spitting in the sink and wiping his mouth. Better get to the food. he added.  
  
  
Remus was particularly glad there was so much clatter about Davey Grudgeon, as none of the immediate students heard his expressed anger.  
  
God dammit! he cursed, scowling at the letter.  
  
_Remus,  
  
What the hell?  
  
I'm kind of praying that letter I got from Dumbledore was the work of your sick and otherwise twisted friends. Somehow I didn't find it funny.  
  
Write back now, or I swear on my life little brother, I'll break those doors down.  
  
Romolus  
  
_James... Do you have a quill? he asked quietly, still frowning irritably from the letter.  
  
Anyone have a quill? he shouted calmly, an art he and Sirius had long since mastered. From the depths of the Gryffindor table, a battered and chewed-on feather was passed along.  
  
_Rom,  
  
I'll tell you over the holidays, I figured we could do something together then. Maybe you could come and stay with me instead of vice versa. It'd be interesting to say the least. And anyway, if something comes up, I'm sure you'll be called in. No need to break anything-yet.  
  
Remus  
  
_Bloody git. he snapped at the owl, scowling as it flew off before he could finish completely.  
  
Well, today's the day. Sirius mused, eyes half-shut. Dumbledore said we'd get the summons today...  
  
There's no we' in it. _I'll_ get a summons, and that's _if_ there is one. Remus said, stomach sinking despite how hard he tried to remain optimistic.  
  
I can't strand it. Sirius admitted, eyes locked on his feet. If I hadn't said anything... None of this would have happened.  
  
No point worrying about it now. Rest of the mail just flew in. James said quietly, gaze following one black owl that was going right for Dumbledore. The three waited with clenched teeth as he opened the letter, and frowned.  
  
James grabbed Remus before he could dash off, and upon second thought, did the same for Sirius.  
  
Not this time. he said, pulling them down to their seats. The Headmaster stood up, and began to walk for them. To their confusion, he changed course, and eventually tapped Snape on the shoulder. After a quick conversation, both nodded, and Dumbledore made way for Remus.  
  
Sirius mumbled, looking up. Remus followed suit, and with a leap of heart, noted the small smile across the professor's face.  
  
Well, there's been no official request for a hearing. he said, James and Sirius letting out content sighs at this. Remus bit his lip, waiting for the rest. The way he said official', he knew there was more.  
  
There is, however, he continued, and the others stopped their small celebration. a need for your presence. This isn't a hearing or trial, it's only a request that you verbally state your case to an administrator.  
  
Sirius and James nudged him on each side after Dumbledore left.  
  
Don't worry Moony, everything'll be fine.  
  
I hope you're right... For your sake as well as mine.  
  
  
The other Marauders did a very good job of distracting him from his own worries. Since the date for his appearance was set for the middle of the Holidays, he had a long time to plan out how to keep himself from being registered, as wizard or as werewolf. During that time, James and Sirius made a personal goal to keep his spirits high at whatever cost.  
  
Twenty-three detentions later they were still bombing the potions classroom.  
  
  
  
_Thank_ you! Horder yelled happily, pinned down, arm twisted behind her back. You little moronic fools actually _can_ learn something! For a while I was beginning to wonder! she said. Above her, James grinned so widely, it looked as though he had inherited ownership of the free world.  
  
God above, if the rest of you could do what he did, I wouldn't even have to bother teaching all of you. she said as James reluctantly released her from his control. Keep your arm at all costs, and _never let your guard down_.  
Horder said, engraving the instructions in the classes' mind. Defense was quickly becoming as physically demanding as well as mentally. In the two months they'd had class, only James had managed to properly disarm and contain the professor on his own.  
  
I still think you're insane. Sirius muttered as James took his place on the wall.  
  
Why's that?  
  
Lily looks like she's going to kill you. he said, jerking his thumb in the direction of the fuming Slytherin.  
  
None to fancied with the sight of you and Horder like that. Remus pointed out. Really, I think for your own sake you should tone it down.  
  
No way. James declared, frowning slightly. I want to be an Auror, and this is as good as training as I can get right now. She can bugger off on topic.  
  
Remus bit back a smile, and snorted a short laugh.  
  
Er, James?  
  
What now? he half-asked, enthralled with Ms. Horders instruction.  
  
Lily did bugger off... Right out the door. he chuckled. James snapped out of his concentration, and expertly slipped out the door after his enraged girl.  
  
Hopeless romantics. Sirius mused.  
  
  
By dinner, it was clear that Lily was still beyond angry. Every time James tried to go near her, she would turn around and bitterly tell him off, a few Slytherin's mindlessly backing her words. Any chance to break them up was well headed with the Snakes. Several of the Gryffindors were even following this plan. It was an obvious fact that James was considered a well-thought potential boyfriend, after Sirius or Alex.  
  
James, give it up. She isn't going to talk to you right now. Remus suggested, Sirius giving a supportive pat on the back.   
  
Chicks are crazy, don't even try to mess with them. Sirius said in all his wisdom, biting into a biscuit.  
  
He's right-  
  
Which is scary. Peter interrupted.  
  
Just give her a little space. Remus went on, glaring at Peter.  
  
You have good time being impossible to talk with... James mumbled, looking up. Maybe you can go and talk to her, or something...  
  
You're not going to bust my head this time, are you? Remus said with the hint of a grin, which was momentarily returned.  
  
Marauders Honour. he promised. But I can't guarantee the Slytherins wont kill you...  
  
I can handle them.  
  
  
...Maybe not. Remus said a second later, ducking down to avoid a random piece of food that had been thrown in aim of his head.  
  
Come on Moony, you have to get her to speak to me. James pleaded, hands gripping at his hair.  
  
What am I supposed to do, let myself be bombarded with stray curses and mashed potatoes?  
  
I don't care! Just, fix it...  
  
Rolling his eyes at God, Remus left the security of the Gryffindor table and sneaked back to Lily.  
  
he whispered, trying to keep the seventh years from seeing him.  
  
What now. she snapped, not a question, as she stabbed her meal bitterly.  
  
Go talk to James, or I swear to God, he's never going to give any of us peace.  
  
I have nothing to say to him. she mumbled. Before she could squeal a complaint, Remus picked her up, and made a mad-dash back to the table.  
  
There, now talk. Converse and be merry. Remus grumbled, setting Lily down across from James.  
  
For a long time they stared each other down, glaring as if they were two circling bulls. With a hint from Remus, James finally let out a sigh, and made the initiative.  
  
he grumbled, shattering a few thousand years of male statistics by admitting first he had done wrong. Lily cracked a smile, and shrugged everything off.  
  
What, that's it? James blinked. Surely she had to yell and throw something at him, or at least be angry a few days, or weeks, more.  
  
Apparently though, that was not the case. As it turned out, Lily was far from the average Slytherin girl.  
  
And another day lived in the ever-entertaining life of Remus Lupin.' he mused to himself. The Ministry didn't seem as dangerous now that he had reunited two distraught supposed enemies. Nothing seemed worth fuss now.  
  
Hey Moony, pass the chicken, will you? Sirius interrupted.  
  
  
  
**A/n- Felt this chapter needed a comical ending. Well, onwards! Thanks for the reviews everyone.  
  
**Iggie  
  
**Fic of the Day- To Build an Empire*** by Azkaban Fugitive:** A wonderful little fic, which will eventually (or so she says) be a lengthy tale of Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and a spiffing post-GoF war. No slash. Very cool. Review and get her motivated, alrigh'?  



	45. Part XLV Quiane Consto

A/n- More for ya. Thanks everyone!  
  
Disclaimer- If you even begin to believe I own any of it, my friend, I'm ashamed to say you're more mental than I.  
  
Rating- PG-13 to be safe.  
  
Chapter Keywords- Classes, angst, and a little speck of our good friend Rom.  
  
A/n2- My muse is a drunk, this is the result.  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XLV - Quiane Consto  
  
  
  
God dammit!  
  
James grabbed Remus' hand, and pulled at it slightly.  
  
Calm down. he laughed, letting go after a moment. All about the Common Room table lay pieces of Remus' homework, most covered with angry scribbles or tears. It was mid-December, only four days until the holidays and the impending Ministry appearance. It was the understatement of the century to say that Remus was stressed.   
  
he grumbled, setting down the Advanced Charms book he was threatening to tear to shreds. With a small chuckle, James pulled it from his hands, deciding it for the best.  
  
So what are you going to do over the holidays, besides spend countless hours worrying over nothing? he inquired, sitting down with his own book for homework.  
  
Undoubtedly spend time with Romolus, as I know for fact he'll be waiting at Kings Cross for me. Remus said. And that will only make things worse... He's going to fuss and lecture me.  
  
Why not stay with me instead? I have about seventeen guest rooms, I'm sure one will suit your pleasure. James muttered, frowning at his assignment as he flipped absently through the book.  
  
Really? That could prove useful... What about Peter and Sirius?  
  
They're going with their parents to Ireland and Scotland if I'm not mistaken. Family affairs... he said, pausing. You know...  
  
Oh God, you have that glint. That.... Plotting glint. Remus groaned, smiling to himself.  
  
Well, I thought it'd be cool, to go back to the Underground. he said, dropping his voice. Bring your brother along too, it would be fun.  
  
You really like that place, don't you? Remus asked, going back to his work.  
  
James exclaimed, throwing his homework aside carelessly. It's awesome!  
  
You're rich as hell, and you like living at a dumpy little ghost town full of werewolves? Remus asked quietly, rather intrigued with the thought.  
  
Well, yeah... James shrugged, scratching at his head. It's just, well, cool. I guess I like it because I'm really sick of the sophisticated pampered life. Dirt and mud is wonderful. he grinned.  
  
You really _are_ insane, this proves it at long last.  
  
You mean to say you doubted my insanity?  
  
An excellent point.  
  
  
  
I'll drop you an owl in a day or two, we'll work something out. Remus said as he shoved his secondhand trunk into the back of Romolus' car. James nodded his head, waving goodbye as he and his chauffeur disappeared from sight.  
  
So, are you ready? Rom asked as Remus hopped into the passenger seat.  
  
Well, I was wondering if you'd like to come and stay with _me_ this time. he said as they pulled into the busy parking lot traffic.  
  
Yeah, and where's that? his brother laughed.  
  
  
  
Rom looked over, eyebrow raised.  
  
  
  
Before we get all lecture-like and delve into my past few months of life, agree with me. I want you to come and stay with me, and Caleb, in Canada. Shelly can come too, if she wants-  
  
She's with her parents, I took vacation to be with you. Romolus said, biting his lip. Thanks for the reminder about that letter though. Care to explain?  
  
Grinning, Remus shrugged. Not unless you come and stay with me. _I'm_ going to take care of you this time.  
  
With a short roll of his eyes, Romolus nodded his head.  
  
Whatever you say little brother. So where's the nearest Deport Station, besides the one at the Ministry?  
  
Uh, the one at the Ministry.  
  
You'll be checked for ID and registry numbers... Romolus pointed out, clearly confused.  
  
Just hang a left and drive. Remus chuckled.  
  
  
  
Alright, where in hell did you get a fake ID? Romolus asked, laughing in amusement as his car reappeared along the Canadian border.  
  
I have my ways.  
  
Man, what _have_ you been doing the past few months?  
  
Er, I doubt you want me to answer that... Get on the freeway here, and go straight to exit fifty-three. Remus added. And roll up your window, it's starting to rain.  
  
Heading the advice, the two windows were raised, and Romolus kicked the car up a few paces.  
  
Odd, driving this way. Wrong side of the road...  
  
Never really bothered to notice. I've been rather preoccupied.  
  
With what? he inquired, glancing at his brother through the mirror. You look different actually. Something's been bothering you...  
  
A lot has.  
  
Elaborate, if you will.  
  
Remus remained silent for quite some time, letting the rippling patter of raindrops ease his thoughts. Where could he begin?  
  
Well, for starters, I might have to appear in front of the Ministry in a week. he began quietly. Romolus raised an eyebrow further, half-glancing with a worried expression.  
  
  
  
To cut a long story short, a joke gone awry nearly killed a kid at school, one of the Slytherins found the way into the tunnel and would've found a very unhappy werewolf at the other end. Remus muttered, face drawn to his feet.  
  
So why's the Ministry involved? Do they... Romolus began, voice lost in his momentary panic.  
  
No, they don't know. The kid filed a complaint, we think, and if he only did that it shouldn't be much a problem. Nothing severe, but that's what Dumbledore's letter was all about.  
  
Makes sense now. Romolus mused, rolling his fingertips on the steering wheel in rhythm with the rain. But I know that isn't all of it.  
  
Remus trailed off, wondering how Rom always knew everything. It isn't everything. Shaking his head, he let a sigh escape his cold lips. Now isn't the time... Here, turn right, and follow through this town. he instructed, changing topic.  
  
It's getting pretty nasty up ahead. Rom pointed out. Dark grey clouds loomed overhead, spilling out the very beginnings of a violent storm neither Lupin wanted to be caught in.  
  
Drive a little faster...  
  
  
  
Where are we going? Romolus asked, trying to cover himself with his bag of clothes as they ran through the pouring rain between rock ledges.  
  
You'll see, and keep running! Remus laughed, hurdling over the town gate. He spent a moment standing out in the rain, enjoying the downpour as his brother struggled to catch up with him. With a beckoning wave of his arm, he led Romolus into Caleb's little shack of a home, where he found bowls splattered about the room to catch leaks in the roof, and two giggling young werewolves.  
  
Uncle Remmie! they squealed, tackling him to the ground in delight. Romolus dropped his bag at the door, and was able to brace himself before Corey toppled him through the open doorway.  
  
You really should stop bringing people here, it isn't safe. Caleb said disapprovingly from the kitchen, stirring a slightly charred bowl of macaroni.  
  
Nice to see you again... Er... Romolus tried, trying to remember a name.  
  
Caleb Simmers. he offered, taking the pot off the range. Hey, runts, come and get it. Caleb called, and the two immediately scrambled off of the Lupin brothers, fighting violently for first serving.  
  
Hungry little devils. Remus mused.  
  
Growth spurt, this is only a light snack. They melt down about six meals a day... Here, stick these under some leaks. Caleb added, handing over a few assorted plastic bowls. I gotta fix that roof before the storms hit. Odd weather we get up here...  
  
I could help. Romolus offered, looking up briefly from staring off out the window. I'm not the worlds best at fixing things, but I can at least lend a hand.  
  
That'd help a lot, it's hard to find free workers around here. Caleb mused, taking seat at his table and pulling out a few books and papers.  
  
Why's that? From what I saw, this isn't such a tiny place...  
  
Everyone has to pull their own weight, I guess it comes with the territory. he explained, though Romolus didn't quite understand.  
  
Rom, this entire city is composed of escaped werewolves. Remus interjected.  
  
Eyebrows gone missing in his bangs, the eldest Lupin blinked, mouth hanging slightly ajar.  
  
But there has to be at least a hundred people here! he gapped, finally managing to find his voice.  
  
One hundred and forty six, to be accurate. Caleb corrected. Still blinking, Rom ran a hand through his tangle of hair.  
  
This... This is beyond comprehension... I mean, how in hell did over a hundred fifty werewolves gather?  
  
Me, and Remus... And Garade.  
  
Oh, Garade started? Remus asked calmly, stirring a quart of juice for the twins to share.  
  
Yeah, last month. He's pretty good at it, but he's been expelled from Luxembourg already, so-  
  
Hold on. Romolus snapped, still trying to process his thoughts. Back up and explain.  
  
Caleb and Remus shared a shrug, and smiled together.  
  
We double agent the Ministry and help captured werewolves escape. How do you think I met him in the first place? Remus asked, laughing at the stare he received.  
  
You... What, I mean... In the...  
  
Hey, kid, stick this under that spring by the couch. Caleb said lazily, handing over another bowl to catch the dripping water.   
  
No problem. Hey Rom, er, I don't know if you noticed or not, but you're standing under a leak. he pointed out, though his brother seemed to take no action to move.  
  
  
  
Not another one. Caleb grumbled, shutting the door on James before he could step inside the soggy hut.  
  
Who was that? Remus asked, munching on a bowl of cereal he had to fight over with the twins.  
  
No one. Caleb said, going back to mopping up the wooden floors. Eyebrows raised, Remus answered the front door as another loud knock sounded.  
  
James, hey! he greeted, glaring at Caleb as he magicked the his friend's bag of belongings near the tattered couch. Glad you could make it.  
  
Aw, I missed breakfast? he groaned, watching in dismay as Corey and Jason tried to beat each other over possession of an apple.  
  
Rich boy didn't bring his own? Crying shame, I'm sure.  
  
Caleb, shut the hell up. Remus snapped. I don't care if the runts kept you up until four. Deal with it.  
  
Parenting sucks. he muttered, giving up with the mop.  
  
Thanks for the warning... Romolus mumbled, having finally woken up. Droggy eyes and sloppy, he fumbled off of the squishy red chair, and looked around for a moment.  
  
Who's tha'?  
  
James Potter. he introduced, nodding once.   
  
Oh yeah, Quidditch boy! Rom remembered, smiling. You're the best we'd had in years.  
  
Thanks... So, what do we do about food? James asked again, rubbing his hands together for warmth. In amusement, he let out a breath, smiling as it condensed.  
  
I love this place. he grinned to himself. Rolling his eyes, Remus bid the cabin farewell, and dragged his overdressed friend into the damp street.  
  
Hey Remus! someone called from above. Walking a little faster, he dragged James into the cafeteria restaurant that was ready to put everything away.  
  
What's with you, dodging girls like that? James inquired as Remus debated a while for food.  
  
Relationships only complicate matters. he grumbled, taking the two bowls of dry cereal gratefully. he flipped two chairs to the ground off of a table, and made himself comfortable. Armed with plastic spoons, the two saluted the server with grins, and dug in.  
  
No, really. We start to wonder. James said through his meal. With a small laugh, he continued ot amuse himself with the simple aspects of second-rate living.  
  
Wonder how?  
  
James went red, and rolled his eyes. You don't date, and you don't have some deep-rooted fascination with women. It scares the rest of us.  
  
I just don't want anything to mess up my life. Lily does her fair share of that to you, and it did just _wonders_ for me. I'll wait until thing's calm down. he said dryly.  
  
You gotta stop letting everything worry you Moony. I'm glad to have you slightly happy again, but... Lighten up. It's the holidays. he shrugged, slurping the last of his breakfast idly.  
  
I hate the holidays. Remus snapped to no one at all.  
  
  
  
Hey, Lupins, can you do me a favour? Caleb asked gruffly from his bedroom, sticking his head out the doorway. He ignored the loud crash and following laughs from inside, trying to yell out over the twins' ruckus.  
  
Yeah, what is it? Romolus asked, wiping a few books from the table dry from last night's leaks.  
  
Take the runts down to the wizarding shops, they're only a few miles south of here. I had some cash leftover from Ministry work, and they really need some clothes. Just- knock that off- just get them out of here. I have a headache...  
  
With an affirming nod, the brothers stood up, and after a long while, wrestled the two little boys off of Caleb.  
  
I don't WANNA go! Corey shouted angrily, grabbing at the doorway. In a stroke of genius, Romolus tickled him under his arm, and he let go.  
  
I swear on my life, if Shell even _mentions_ starting a family, drop this lot off at my house. he grumbled, packing the pair in the back seat of his truck with James.  
  
  
  
Where'd you get that? James asked, absently munching on an arsenal of treats he had bought while the Lupins were in the robe shop with the two boys.  
  
Get what? Remus asked, dragging a heavy bag of secondhand clothes behind him. Romolus emerged several minutes later, a twin under each arm, shouting apologies to the shop owner.  
  
That cloak, it's cool... All vintage-like. he mused, offering a Cauldron Cake.  
  
It's called second hand. Remus mumbled indigently, though accepting the professor snack.  
  
I like it better than this garbage.  
  
Eyebrow raised, Remus eyed the possibly pure-gold engraved clasps and several-Galleon lining skeptically.  
  
You could be a hero back at the W.U. saying that. Ninety percent of us are poor as hell.  
  
To be honest, I'm, tired of being rich. You guys work, and pull your own... I don't know what it's like. James said thoughtfully as he followed the Lupins to the restaurant.  
  
What do you guys want? Romolus asked, setting the boys down cautiously. Before he could stop, they ran off, and he just rolled his eyes.  
  
Turkey sub would be nice. Remus said, starting to dig in his pockets. His brother shook his head, silently indicating he was buying.  
  
  
  
Er... Just get me the ham on rye. he said after a seconds consideration, taking a seat in the outdoor dining area. With a smile, he watched distantly as the twins chased each other about, messing up their new robes in a matter of minutes.  
  
I wonder what life will be like in three years? he pondered, sighing solemnly at a newspaper lying on the table. If there really is a war, I want to fight.  
  
It's suicide. Battle is pointless...  
  
I need to start earning everything in life instead of it being handed to me on a gold, ruby-encrested platter. Thing's just seem worthless if you don't earn them, right?  
  
Shrugging to himself, Remus grabbed Jason as he ran by, trying to take an order from him.  
  
Well what'd I do to earn these headaches? he said, indicating the two that were now halfway up to the roof of the ice cream parlour.  
  
  
  
**A/n- Well, sorry for my absence of updating lately. Between school and my new found love... No, not like that! Haven't you learned by now I'm as anti-romantic as humanly possible? Nah, my love is Kingdom Hearts, possibly the best video game I've ever played (and that's saying a LOT). For the past week I've put 40+ hours into the game, 40+ hours that normally would have been spent on this fic. So have patience while the lag drifts away. Gomen.  
**  
Iggie  
  
-- Wish me luck and all, I'm being forced to go to homecoming tonight ::gags::  
  
**Fic of the Day - When the World was Mine by JK who's surname isn't Rowling: **Halloween. You know the drill. Except in the eyes of Sirius Black, this isn't an ordinary holiday. Golden Quill Award winner, so several others besides me can highly recommend this!  
  
**Title Meaning-** Why stand/endure?


	46. Part XLVI Sileno Reboare

A/n- Thanks everyone! There will be delays now, since school (bah) has at last started. I'm none to thrilled...  
  
Disclaimer- I think you know by now. Honestly...  
  
Rating- PG-13 for language (For those of you who complain I swear too often, bugger off. I warned you and this is my vent-fic.)  
  
Chapter Keywords- A little more mayhem. :)  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XLVI - Sileno Reboare  
  
  
  
James, take the kids into the safe rooms, they're walk-down basements by the cafeteria. Remus instructed, holding a hand above his eyes so e could see through the thick rain. A blinding sheet poured down all around, drenching anything in a manner of seconds. It was similar to being caught in total darkness, just with the added enjoyment of dangerously close lightening.  
  
Nodding his head. James picked Jason up, and tried to coax the bawling brother to follow him.  
  
Come on now Corey, we're going to go somewhere dry. he said, offering a supportive smile and his free hand. Still crying from the crashing flashes overhead, he grabbed on tight, and was pulled across the flooded streets to a small crowd.  
  
Rom, go see if anyone needs any help!  
  
he shouted, though only a few feet away, it was impossible to hear.  
  
Go see if anyone needs help! Remus repeated, cupping his hands. With a confirming nod, he too ran off in search of those in trouble.  
  
Caleb! CALEB! he bellowed, looking around desperately. Not finding him outside, he ran to the soaking, creaking shamble of his previous home.  
Caleb, get out of here! It's about to cave in! he yelled from the doorway. The roof had fallen through in most places, and the entire house was a flooded mess.  
  
I can't leave everything behind! the sodden young man responded, trying to grab blurred pages scattered throughout the broken living room. Jumping over shackles and pieces of lumber, Remus took him by the arm, trying to drag him out.  
  
It's too dangerous, come on! he yelled over the clapping thunder. Off in the distance, the screaming crash of a fallen house sounded, accompanied by a flash of lightening. Again Remus pulled, though all he was greeted with was resistance.  
  
I'm not going to leave all this behind, none of it can be replaced! he snapped, pulling away. Another flash echoed in the sky, and Remus bit his lip.  
  
Yeah, well neither can your life. Come _on_. he demanded, and with no reply, he simply grabbed his friend by the neck of his robes, forcing him away.  
  
Let go of me Lupin, I-  
  
We can worry about a few hundred years of paperwork later. In. _Now_. Remus ordered, throwing open the heavy hatch. Resentfully Caleb climbed down the short broken ladder into a mob of frightened werewolves. A few random women Remus didn't know ran up and bombarded Caleb with fuss while he tread to quietly slip into the background.  
  
Clearing his throat, James stood atop an upturned crate and whistled shrilly. The commotion died down, and everyone slowly turned to look at the outsider.  
  
Is anyone missing? he asked first off, no hint or a cheery smile on his face or any mischievous glint in his eyes.  
  
Alice Whemble... S-she said, she was was going to check on someone... a young girl piped, a confirming nod coming from another across the room.  
  
Remus, you and your brother go and see if you can track her down he said shortly, turning back to the crowd.  
  
No one is to leave this shelter, under any circumstances, without first checking with Caleb, a Lupin, or myself.  
  
Hey, who put ye' in charge of us? a slightly drunk old man grumbled from the front row. Ye' ain't even one'a us!  
  
Now who's being prejudiced? he asked with a very Slytherin-esque smirk, shutting up the hushed whispers in an instant. After s short conversation, Remus and Romolus dashed off through the heavy hatch door, creeping their way back into the violent storm.  
  
Alright, I think it's best if we all just relax, I don't reckon anything but a person can wedge through that hatch. God knows I couldn't... We're perfectly safe down here, and hell, it's better than up there. he said, pointing upwards. So stick together, and this thing will pass. Nothing you all can't handle, right?  
  
You're insane. Caleb hissed as he stepped down.  
  
Just trying to bring a little order to this lot. James said with a small shrug, flopping down against the wall with a crowd of girls.  
  
Trying to be a leader in a room full of werewolves? That's suicide for an outsider... Most of us have a deep-rooted superiority complex. he grumbled, holding the two twins to his chest protectively. That takes some serious guts to stand up there like that.  
  
I'm a Gryffindor, expect nothing less. he said with mild amusement. Caleb smiled, and shook his head.  
  
No, you're a rich boy in a poor town of society's rejects trying to make a statement that no one hears. he said. It's good to know someone out there still cares, God knows Lupin's good at finding them, but this wont work.  
  
  
  
You can't help people who wont accept the offer. That other kid, Black, he does the same thing. Whatever progress we make, we'll do it on our own.  
  
I just wanted to help out. James said, taking one of the twins and holding him close.  
  
Why? Because you pity us? Whether intended or not, Caleb's voice was harsh and very unbefitting.  
  
Finally understanding, James nodded his head, and dropped the subject.  
  
  
Early morning, the Underground crawled out of the frigid basement into what was left of their town.  
  
So what now? Remus asked idly, helping one of the younger children out of the shelter.  
  
With a disgusted sigh, Caleb shook his head. We start over. he said regretfully, eyes half shut.   
  
Everything's destroyed... Romolus muttered distantly, looking around the row of half-fallen houses and wooden debris scattered randomly. With a sinking heart, Remus noted Caleb's shack, now a pile of soggy lumber.  
  
All the records... Caleb choked, voice lost halfway through.  
  
Some of them will be fine, the roof fell early, it will have protected many. Remus offered. And either way, getting everyone to safety was more important.  
  
A good point... Caleb muttered, head shaking dismally. Hey, where's Potter?  
  
No clue. Probably off relishing in the general muck of this moon city.  
  
Moon city?  
  
We're a city of werewolves... Remus trailed off, smiling at his brother.  
  
they laughed together.  
  
Simmers, we need you and both the Lupins' help over here. someone shouted from the cafeteria, one of the only intact structures. We've got a panel that needs put up and it's heavy as hell.  
  
I guess we get started.  
  
  
  
'Choo wanna come back to my place for a while? James asked thickly, munching on his first fire-roasted marshmallow with a childish glint in his cheery eyes. He inexpertly stabbed another on the end of his stick, holding it right in the flame until it ignited, wherein he proceeded to shake the fiery puff until it was safe again. Charred and crispy, he popped it in his mouth delightfully, Remus rolling his eyes.  
  
Wouldn't be right... No, Jason, the object is not to start the marshmallow on fire. Do _not_ follow James as an example. he said quickly, trying to salvage the blackened desert with a laugh. Jason grinned toothily, and tried again, managing to let three fall into the bonfire of unusable wreckage before he produced something edible.  
  
Hey Garade, when'd you get back in?  
  
Just this morning... One hell of a storm you guys were hit with. he muttered weakly, taking a seat next to James on a broken pillar.  
  
Be thankful you weren't here. Remus said dryly, offering a bag of marshmallows and a sharpened stick. It was pretty nasty, everything got torn up.  
  
Where's Simmers?  
  
He's off taking count on what can be used again when we rebuild this place. Either that or he's in a pile of debris somewhere snogging with that Melhane chick.  
  
The latter's more likely. James commented.  
  
So what happens when the snow finally comes? It'll be impossible to work once the blizzards strike.  
  
Who knows. To be honest, I could care less... Remus said with a slight shrug.  
  
That's a bit uncharacteristic of you. James said between bites of a s'more.  
  
There's absolutely no point in planning ahead with this place, none whatsoever. Anything we write up will just be shattered in some ungodly improbable accident or like. he mused. After a moment of thought, Garade nodded in agreement, and conjured himself a thick blanket.  
  
Either of you two care to help set up cots in the cafeteria? he asked, rubbing his numb hands over the crackling fire quietly.  
  
Not really. they both responded.  
  
Too bad.  
  
  
Sure you can't stay?  
  
Yeah, we have to get back to Britain tonight, I'm due at the Ministry early tomorrow morning. Remus said with a short sigh. Caleb smiled, a concealed sort of amusement, as his friend turned away to face the attention of two deprived little boys.  
  
Do ya have ta go Uncle Remmie? Corey whined, grabbing at Remus' pants. Jason was doing likewise to Romolus, though the effort was causing him to nearly fall over.  
  
I'll be back in the summer, maybe before. he said with a bright smile, scooping the child into his arms.  
  
C'we write to ya? he asked with a small, questioning grin.  
  
Of course. Just get Caleb to fetch and owl, and you can write to me whenever you want. Remus assured, ruffing the tots hair and setting him down again. With a nod to James and Romolus, they threw their bags in the back of the wind-shaken vehicle, and climbed inside.  
  
Remus turned around and watched as the gate became no more than a small dot in the distance, Caleb standing beside, smiling for all he was worth.  
  
_No, Remus, this way!  
  
I can't!  
  
Remus! No!  
  
_  
  
Hey, wake up. Romolus said quietly, shaking his brothers shoulder.  
  
Eyes opening very slowly, Remus groaned at the sight before him. The British Ministry building loomed over the entire alley, visually displaying its power to all who viewed it. To Remus, it was a proclamation of mockery.  
  
Do I have to go? he mumbled. With a short smile, Romolus pulled him out of the car by the back of his robes, causing him to land on the gravel with a thump.  
  
Here, that friend of yours told me to give you this. Romolus added as Remus tried to wake himself up fully. He took the letter, and tore at the fancy wax seal.  
  
_Just remember, if they even try to do a thing to you, I can pull my funding. did a bit of research, and apparently my parents paid for half of that places' East wing. I bet they'd just love it if I withdrew the annual donation of forty-seven thousand Galleons our bank pays them... Good luck Moony. Sirius and Peter send their regards as well.  
  
James  
  
_Chuckling to himself, he stuffed the letter in his pocket, ready to go. Before he actually went anywhere though, he was presented with a comb, courtesy of Romolus.  
  
You're hair looks like a dead rodent.  
  
Why thank you.  
  
I'm not kidding. Fix it, I don't think looking like a bum will row over well with the lot in there. he said sternly.  
  
Isn't this just great. Remus said as he fought to run the comb through his mess of hair. It's a little while until Christmas and here I am, an unregistered wizard and werewolf, showing myself in front of the Ministry for a prank I had no conscious part in.  
  
Don't worry about it.  
  
Don't worry? Christ, Shelly's kind of depleted any sense you once had, hasn't she? Weren't you the one who made sure I was never registered as a wizard?  
  
Er... Forgot about that. Romolus said, scratching his head with a guilty smile. Either way, it wont matter. You'll get lectured and issued a few warnings, and I'll have to cough up a few Sickles-  
  
Which I'll pay you back.  
  
And we'll be off on our way. Romolus concluded, pulling a reluctant Remus from the car door.   
  
After shoving through a throng of suit-clad executives and a pack of disgruntled protesters, the Lupin brothers finally found a small elevator to the floor they needed.  
  
So what am I gonna do? Remus asked quietly as the elevator surged upwards, along with his stomach.  
  
If they ask for your ID numbers, give them mine.  
  
Wont they cross them over?  
  
Nah. Only a visual confirmation, and we look dead-on for twins nearly. Romolus said with a short, encouraging smile. Really, there wont be any problems. This is gonna be a breeze.  
  
I hope you're right... he said, swallowing his pride as the doors slowly opened, admitting him to the Hogwarts division of the Ministry.  
  
  
  
Sir, you'll have to wait outside. the desk clerk told Romolus, tapping him on the shoulder. After two hours of filling our grueling paperwork and answering the same questions over and over, Remus had been directed to a small office where he would meet at long last with some official who could destroy his life. And now, God decided Remus' only ounce of support needed to wait outside.  
  
Romolus tried to smile again as his little brother walked through the door, an intimidating panel with Smith' printed across the glass, though he found it hard. Up until then, he had been doing all the talking, making all the plays.  
  
  
_It isn't going to last forever...  
  
What isn't?  
  
I can't keep running away. I've killed Rom, twice. Eventually I'm gonna get caught... Aren't I?  
  
With a serious frown, his brother set down the can of beans he was attempting to open without the proper tool.   
  
You're too clever to get caught by a bunch of hypocritical dolts.  
  
Sometime they're gonna catch up with me, I mean... How am I gonna get by being unregistered, in both ways?  
  
It'll work out in the end.  
  
What if it doesn't, and... I don't wanna loose you Rom. the small boy said in a half whisper.  
  
I wont let that happen.  
  
  
  
Just forget about that, I'll never let them take you away from me. They'd have to kill me first.  
_  
  
Here goes nothing.' Remus thought to himself, not trusting his voice. He stepped inside apprehensively, taking a seat on a stiff chair in front of a large oak desk. The executive chair was turned to face the window, appropriately in the fashion of a suspense film wherein the hero would find his nemesis waiting once the chair turned.  
  
All too soon, Remus' mouth uttered a brief hello.  
  
the voice returned softly. Eyebrow half raised, Remus realised it was a woman. Dumbledore had said he would be meeting with a man...  
  
You would be Remus Lupin then?  
  
he choked out, voice catching in his throat.  
  
The idiot who decided it would be amusing to pull a potentially life-threatening' prank on one of Britain's wealthiest and influential families?  
  
Well, my friend-  
  
Oh, I'm just sure my father would take that crap. the woman snapped, teetering the chair back and forth. Sunlight slipped in every time she swayed, irritating what conscious nerves Remus had left.  
  
You're lucky he's out today. With your rather illustrious school record I'm sure we could land some hefty fines on you, none less issue a suspension of some sort.  
  
Just what I need. he accidentally mumbled aloud.  
  
Oh, and you think I need this headache? Hell, we're in mayhem over the werewolf crisis. the intern snapped, finally turning the chair to face him. Angry, bitter and somewhat tired black eyes pierced into his own, framed by a face barely older than a Hogwarts graduate's.  
  
Werewolf crisis? he asked, swallowing to keep his tone from cracking nervously.'  
  
A bunch of rubbish, but our department is getting landed with all of it. she mumbled, tapping her hand on a folder on the desk. Doesn't concern you. You're here on charges of reckless endangerment.  
  
Doesn't concern me my ass.' he chuckled to himself, and unfortunately, he laughed at a very bad time.  
  
Think it's funny, do you? I don't care what happened, Snape and that bloody father of his can say you tried to stab him for all I care, and we'd have to believe it. Lately, they've been our sole source of major income, besides a few other donators.  
  
With a short nod, Remus put his brains to proper use. He wasn't a top O.W.L. student for nothing.  
  
Can I see his complaint, possibly? he inquired, donning a smug sort of voice.  
  
he hummed thoughtfully, tapping the fancy paper with Snape's intricate writing inscribed upon it. He sent a grateful mutter to his Lord, for the second page seemed to be missing, and it would most clearly have mentioned his lunar illness.  
  
Funny, he didn't mention James.  
  
With a grin to himself, he thanked God, and Prongs, for the letter tucked into his back pocket.  
  
So the slimy rich brat forgot a name, it wont matter. We have to go by his word or we'll be landed with more trouble than we can handle right now. she exclaimed.  
  
Well, if you're going to suspend me and whatnot, go and take my friend James as well, he was as guilty as I was.  
  
Yeah? Well, I'll write his name down, maybe I can look into it later. she lied, though taking out a piece of paper for the proper effect.  
  
Gotcha.'  
  
James Potter, you might know him. Remus said, trying very hard to conceal his smile. The lady, Mr. Smith's daughter, dropped her quill.  
  
James... _Potter_, you say? she stammered, face white. Noting Remus' confirming nod, she tried to collect herself, with little success.  
  
Well, I had no idea then, uh, I'm sure we can work something out, a little fine or... No, how about you just leave. I have work to do on this werewolf problem, so... Here, no, let me get this form filled out, dismiss this whole thing. False claim, I'm sure... she mumbled incoherently. With her back turned as she filled in a record, Remus grinned ear to ear.  
  
Definitely wasn't a mistake making friends with them.' he thought to himself, hands folded contentedly in his lap.  
  
  
  
**A/n- That was a fun chapter to write. I honestly felt Remus needed to do something decisively clever and otherwise ingenious. Alright, so he was just being resourceful. Screw. :P  
  
Anyway, thanks for reading this far. I must compliment ALL of you on you're persistence, endurance And well, dedication. I still drop dead every time I see that 400+ reviews number... ::Gives a box of cookies (the expensive ones!) to each reader:: Hope that's a little compensation for the time you've all spent, it's bound to have been a while... Well, expect not TOO many more to come. But then again, I am **planning** a sequel... XP  
  
Enjoi and review,  
  
**Iggie  
  
**Fic of the Day- HP and the Flesh of the Jade Guardian by Agent 99**: That's a mouthful, aye? Basically involves a lot of mystery revolving about the Potter's deaths, as told in the time of Harry. Also has bouts of Ministry scandals and other such lovely twists.  
  
**Title Meaning- **Roughly, I think it's silent protest. I lost my dictionary...


	47. Part XLVII Maple Syrup

A/n- Well, forty-seventh installment....  
  
It just keeps going, eh?  
  
Disclaimer- I own it all. Really. ::rolls eyes::  
  
Rating- PG-13 for language cause I'm a potty-mouth.  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XLVII - Nocturne  
  
  
  
So, what, they dropped _everything_? Romolus gapped, promptly being shoved into the elevator.  
  
A little bit of creative blackmail can go a long way dear brother. Remus joked. Twenty minutes previous, he was fearing his privacy, personal well-being, and most importantly, his life. Now, he was being overly-sarcastic.  
  
You better thank your stars James Potter ever said hello to you. Romolus said distantly, not quite at terms with how well things progressed.  
  
Already have, and I will be for a long time. But I need to find Caleb, the lady in there said the Ministry finally caught on about the... he trailed off as the doors opened, and a woman with more children than she could keep track of squeezed into the small space.  
  
Jenna, press three, will you? No! Jenna, _how many times_? the mother whined as her little girl hit every button on the board. She turned around, and with a tired look and wrinkled eyebrows, smiled humbly.  
  
I'm sorry, they've been cooped up here all day... she apologized.  
  
No, it's alright. I know the feeling. Remus laughed, empathizing with the mother. The twins were just as bad when they were in shops, and usually ended up breaking most everything they touched.  
  
  
Seventeen floors and a many shrieks later, the large family finally made it to the third floor, and underwent a screaming fit to exit first.  
  
Weren't they cute? Romolus asked, a glassy kind of look over his deep eyes as the doors closed. Remus hit him across the head, scowling wickedly.  
  
What are you, mad? Haven't the Terrible Two taught you not to have kids? he inquired, impatiently tapping the button for the lobby.  
  
Shaking his head and shrugging once, Romolus half-smiled and leaned against the gold railing.  
  
I don't know, not really. I've always wanted kids, you know, the whole family thing.  
  
You're not old enough to be a father. Remus grumbled.  
  
Go to hell. You're as good as one, in some terms, and I'm your elder anyway. I'm _married _for God's sake.  
  
Stop pointing that out, I still find it rather creepy. And you're older by what, two and a half years? Bloody hell, that's nothing! And might I point out that you act like a five-year-old sometimes?  
  
Romolus opened his mouth to object, but upon reflection, merely nodded in a silent agreement.  
  
Well anyway, I need to stop by Diagon Alley, I have to owl a letter to Caleb.  
  
Will it be safe, you being a criminal and all? he asked playfully.  
  
If I can get through the Ministry with a false identity on charges of reckless endangerment, and _not_ have them find out what I am, I think Diagon Alley isn't a problem. Remus said indigently.  
  
  
  
_Caleb-  
  
Everything went well with the Ministry first off, I used James' good wealth in my favour. Secondly, DO NOT try and free anyone for a little while. DO NOT. They finally realised there's a problem and it might not be long before they start linking me and you to all the accidents'. Lay low for a while, alright? If not for your own sake, then for the runts. If you get caught that'll be the third parent they'll have lost.  
  
Remus.  
  
(Tell Garade and anyone else on duty to back down too, alright?)  
  
_Remus sealed up the letter, and rang a little bell at the front desk of the Owlry.  
  
Yeah, I need this mailed to a private P.O. Box overseas, express. he said to the old man who greeted him. After an appraising look, he snarled his nose, and went back to filing.  
  
Excuse me, sir? Remus asked again, slightly louder.  
  
Overseas express is too rich for your pocket. the man said stiffly, noting the shambled robes Remus wore. Though they were his best, there were several poorly patched holes and a nice tear on the sleeve from Viator.  
  
Excuse _me_. Romolus interrupted angrily, pounding the bell for added effect. You mean to deny a paying customer of service? he snapped, colour rising in his face. Remus tugged at his sleeve, non-verbally asking him to back off, though the request was denied.  
  
What seems to be the problem? the store clerk asked with feigned sincerity.  
  
Romolus said, dropping his money bag onto the counter. Apparently you have a problem with my brother here.  
  
Rom, let it go. Remus hissed. He started for the door, but was pulled back monetarily.  
  
Wait outside for a moment, will you? he asked with a forced smile. With a shake of his head and a sigh, Remus sat himself down on the curb, listening to the faint sounds of crashing coming from inside the shop.  
  
A moment later, Romolus emerged with his sleeves rolled up and a smug grin.  
  
Owl's sent. he informed. So, where to?  
  
I don't care.  
  
Let's head back to my place, Shelly's going to be all pissy if I'm not back soon.  
  
Remus snorted, and shook his head.   
  
You sound really old when you say that.  
  
Problem with that?  
  
Yes, actually.  
  
  
  
Oh, Remus dear, there's an owl for you in the kitchen. Shelly added after telling her husband off for being late. Romolus raised his eyebrow, questioning his brother.  
  
We left the post three hours ago, surely the owl wasn't that quick. he said as Remus snatched the envelope.  
  
No, it's from James. Remus mused, breaking the fancy wax seal with his family crest imprinted.  
  
_Still alive Moony? Good. So what'd you get? Ten, fifteen years? Well, either way I'll break their necks, every last one of them. Sirius is here and heartily agreeing, so rest assured you're going nowhere. Write back so we can stop killing ourselves in worry.  
  
Pete wants me to mention that he's having us at his place for Christmas dinner, so come if you can. I'll owl directions later if you need them.  
  
Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail the slimy greaseball.  
  
_Remus chuckled at the added script by Sirius, and flipped the page over, pulling a pen from his pocket. Very few wizards were aware of the wonders of Muggle pens. Being able to write without an inkwell or complicated charm was extremely convenient, he mused, as he scratched out a reply.  
  
_WPP,  
  
Fret not my dear comrades, I'm alive and well. Actually, I'm a bit worried, though I can explain that later. The Ministry went fine, and Lily will be delighted to hear I blackmailed them into leaving me alone. Turns out you were right James, you do supply all of their annual funding. I just let slip that you were there too, and well, they showed me to the door.  
  
I'll have to ask what Rom's doing for Christmas, but sounds good. See you then, possibly.  
  
Moony  
  
_He folded the letter up, and handed it to the very fancy and impatient barn owl waiting for him. It nipped his finger disapprovingly, and flew off in a hurry.  
  
Those are good friends you have, you know. Romolus said from the doorway, sporting a content smile.  
  
When they're not sending me to the Ministry, yes, they are. he agreed. For a moment they shared one of those rare, understanding smiles that could melt the heart of the darkest man alive. That is, until Shelly brought that link crashing down with a simple phrase.  
  
Boys, lunch is ready.  
  
They violently hit each other over the head, trying to make it to the sandwich tray first.  
  
  
Well, you'd better be heading down soon. Romolus muttered softly, flicking through the television channels. For a moment Remus blinked, wondering what he meant.  
  
Full moon little brother. Don't tell me you forgot...  
  
Oh bloody hell! Remus blurted out, looking up at the clock. Dammit dammit _dammit_. I don't have time to-  
  
The basement is safe-locked. Romolus interrupted calmly, offering a short smile. Me and Shell put it in right when we moved, just in case.  
  
With an apologetic grimace, Remus nodded his head once.  
  
How could I have been so occupied to not notice?' he thought to himself, lifting painfully to his feet. The world felt heavy, trying to throw him back down right after he had gotten up again.  
  
Do you need anything? Romolus asked, donning his familiar soothing voice. It was as much second nature for him as it was for Remus. The full moon meant sacrifices and hardships for the both of them, whether they welcomed them or not.  
  
Remus tossed his robe and sweatshirt on the couch, followed by his beaten shoes.   
  
  
  
Alright then...  
  
Well... G'night. he mumbled, feeling the familiar lurch in his stomach as the clock rang out seven pips.  
  
Er, Rem?  
  
  
  
Romolus reminded with a grin. He tucked it in his pocket, and chuckled to himself.  
  
Absent minded, are you?  
  
You have no idea. he mumbled, walking towards the door. Pulling the end of his sleeve over his hands, he undid the locks, and stepped downstairs.  
  
What's for breakfast? he suddenly asked, turning up.  
  
Pancakes, why? Romolus replied, beginning to fasten the silver locks.  
  
I need something to look forward to.  
  
The door closed with a laugh, leaving Remus in the dark. A thin ray of dying sunlight crept in through the barred window, resting at Remus' feet. With a sigh, he sat down against the stone walls, and took a deep breath. For a short few minutes, he battled with the wolf, driving away the burning rage until he felt it useless. Slipping away from reality, he backed off into a corner of his own mind,  
  
  
  
Ger' up little brother.  
  
Rubbing his eyes, Remus accepted the supportive shoulder as he was lifted to his feet.  
  
What time is it? he mumbled out. Grimacing, his head screamed in protest at the volume of his own voice ringing in his ears.  
  
A little after seven. James owled really early, I had no idea teenage guys were even up before the sun.  
  
James isn't typical. he said in a half-whisper, trying to shake off his post-transformation headache. No matter how many years he had been forced into the wolf once a month, the pain never seemed to lessen. Eyes squinted shut in the dim light, for it seemed as blinding as the sun, Remus hobbled up the staircase, brother behind him.  
  
Where's breakfast? he grumbled, collapsing into a chair.  
  
Shelly didn't sleep well-  
  
  
  
Nah, wasn't your fault. We're glad to have you here. Romolus assured. So you might wanna take a rain check on those pancakes... You know better than anyone my cooking is shit.  
  
Got any bacon? he asked, still craving meat. The lingering remains of the wolf strayed in the back of his mind, whispering little notions of habit.  
  
Nope, but if you need any lasagna...  
  
Remus chuckled to himself in fond memory.  
  
Yeah, I finally learned that one. Romolus said with a grin, but he then frowned. It isn't very good though, come to think of it. All crusty, and the cheese tastes like warm rubber.  
  
Just gimme some food.  
  
Idly he sipped the cup of milk, or, more accurately, he downed it in a single swipe as he read James' owl.  
  
  
_Moony,  
  
Change of plans. Peter's parents are going at it again, so dinner's going to be at my place instead. Eight o' clock on the twenty-third, come if you can. Invite anyone you want, hell, I have enough food here to feed Hogwarts for a month. Maybe get your brother and that lot, I don't know. I don't have any family, so it gets dreadfully depressing around the holidays here. Anyway, how was the moon without us around? Sorry me and Padfoot couldn't make it. Well, write back. I'm bored as hell and the servants are off today.   
  
Empty mansions are not fun.  
  
Prongs  
  
PS- I decided to blow some money and had a, er, telafon? I'm not sure how to spell it... Yeah, one of those, installed. Peter suggested it, you know his dad is a half-blood and all. Sirius might get one too if his parents will let him. Electricity is very amusing... I'll send my numbers once I find the paper. You should've seen the look on the electricity mans face when he saw the place...  
  
PPS- Lily says hello.  
  
  
  
Telephone Prongs, a telephone. And I'm sure it was very amusing and all. I think I can come to dinner, though I don't think I'll bring anyone. Rom and Shelly are bound to be sick of me by now. I might just drop by randomly, if you don't mind, so if this gets to you first be ready. I wouldn't enjoy walking on you and Lily,...  
  
Moony  
  
  
_He sealed the envelope shut, and set the paper off with Romolus' large black owl.  
  
Whash the he asked through his second bowl of corn flakes.  
  
Twenty-first, I think. Actually, er... Romolus began, and turned to the back of the kitchen wall. He flipped through a calendar that was several months behind, and nodded his head.  
  
Yeah, twenty-first.  
  
I think I'm gonna take off for James' place. he said, swallowing the remains of his second breakfast.  
  
Why? Sick of me already? Romolus asked, feigning a look of severe hurt.  
  
Nah, not yet. he said. He has the place to himself and I highly doubt he's doing anything better than throwing cards into a hat all night. I'll be back in a few days, maybe.  
  
Romolus asked, raising an eyebrow. Knowing you, I'll be summoned by the Ministry to come and pick up my illegal brother.  
  
Might not be far from the truth. Remus muttered under his breath. Lucky for him, Shelly had just made her way down the stairs, red-eyed and yawning frequently.  
  
Morning, love. she said in a daze, kissing Remus on the cheek. He snorted, and after a gallant attempt to hold back, fell over laughing.  
  
I fail to see the humour in this. Romolus snapped, arms crossed across his chest.  
  
Blinking, and rubbing her eyes, Shelly squinted between the two of them for a second.  
  
she exclaimed, blushing scarlet. Sorry, well... You two _do_ look alike, you know...  
  
What, can't tell your own husband from his kid brother? Romolus asked bitterly, thoroughly annoyed by the incident.  
  
Over the short barks of disagreement and pride, Remus slipped his way to the guest room, and quietly packed his satchel.  
  
  
  
  
I told you already, I don't want to make a bloody donation! James yelled through the door. Eyebrow raised, Remus let go of the door knocker, and politely rapped on the door again.  
  
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO- Oh, hello Moony. James said, replacing his angry glare with a more welcoming smile. Just got your owl not five minutes ago. Come on in, er... Toss your stuff wherever you want. It has a habit of moving around, so it wouldn't matter to hang on to it. he commented lazily.  
  
He followed the bathrobe-and-slipper clad Marauder into a very large sitting room with a high ceiling, a chandelier that cost more than anything a Lupin could ever own, and a very simple Muggle television sitting alone on an intricate oriental rug.  
  
Want some soda? Or anything known to man, for that matter? he asked, flopping down on a garage-sale looking sofa. It was an odd sort of room, a clash of fine sophistication and cheap, poorly-repaired furniture. Most definitely it was all done by James, and it screamed loudly his love for simple things. In the corner of the room, Remus noted, there was a busted beanbag chair, something uncommon to rich children and mansions.  
  
No, I'm alright. he answered after a moment of thought. James shrugged, and switched the television on.  
  
I get four hundred and thirty nine channels up here. he said lazily, inviting Remus to flop down on the sofa. Cost more money than I should be spending, but who the hell cares?  
  
Who keeps track of your spending? Remus asked, watching as the screen flickered between networks, many in different languages.  
  
Some bloke form London. I pay him a bundle to make sure I'm not gonna go broke, or something. I don't really know what half my servants do. They pretty much clean things that aren't dirty and make sure I'm alive during the summer. Oh, and there's a few that work to pick up after Sirius. They get paid a bit more...  
  
Remus smiled to himself. It was a very strange thing, switching between lives so often. From depressed werewolf to Ministry convict, to little brother to friend of the rich kid, only one thing stayed the same.  
  
A little voice in the back of his mind kept whispering that it wouldn't last.  
  
  
**  
A/n- **Thanks for being so patient everyone. Just to show you HOW patient you are, here's some stats-  
  
As of chapter 46-   
146,756 words total.   
Est. 500 pages- give or take twenty  
10.8 average reviews per chapter  
102.7 average hits per chapter (come on, review darnit!)  
Iggie has left 151 reviews related to other people reading her stuff.  
  
And for those of you not paying attention, that's a WHOLE LOT OF NUMBERS.   
  
You people are great, and I love you. All.  
  
**Note-** Some people were raising eyebrows about the Canadian blizzard last chapter... Well, to explain, I had an uncle who lived in Canada (I'm not sure which area, all I know is southern) and he was in one hell of a snow storm a long while back. The idea intrigued me, so heh, I stuck it in. Sorry if I'm innaccurate or all, but weathe ris pretty unprediactable ANYWHERE.  
  
Iggie  
  
**Fic of the Day- A Witch, Wolf and a Serpent stories by Nytd: **One large fic, and a short prequel and ongoing sequel. All worth the time! Involves none other than Severus Snape and Remus Lupin, in a non-slashy adventure. Also plays host to a wonderful chick whom I've grown quite fond of through the stories... Check it out some time.


	48. Part XLVIII Caecus

A/n- Yes, ANOTHER. Alright, I'm guilty as charged. Maybe it WONT end, alright? Ha. How about I splice the sequel to it, make it a good ol' 1000 pages? Wouldn't THAT be fun? I'll write something longer then the bloody Lord of the Ring...  
  
Disclaimer- Ah, screw.  
  
Rating- This is probably an easy chapter, so don't expect my typical foul mouth. Well, who knows. I seldom, if ever, follow plans.  
  
Note- Anyone have ANY news on the proression of the new HP books? I've heard everything tht contradicts the next, so I need some clearity.  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XLVIII - Caecus  
  
  
  
  
Remus rubbed his eyes free of morning debris, and looked around. A few fractured rays of sunshine peered inside the room through a portrait window, casting coloured shadows on the floors.  
  
he grumbled, pushing himself upright. It was still very early, as he could hear the quiet sounds of a band of crickets outside.  
  
Where's a clock? he asked no one in particular. After a moment of searching the unfamiliar walls, he rolled his eyes to himself.  
  
Five in the morn? What the hell Moony. Remus grumbled, rolling over on his back. Face no longer stuffed in the pillow, he caught a wafting scent lingering in the air.  
  
he said aloud, pushing the expensive sheets aside and fumbling out of bed. He found a pair of slippers and a robe on a chair back, and after donning them, he crept out of the fancy bedroom. For the sake of novelity, he shrugged and sat down on the spiral stair railing. Grinning as he slid, Remus chuckled to himself. It had been a while since he had done something idiotic for the sake of laughs.  
  
he asked quietly, not wanting to wake James up only hours after he had gone to bed. Peering out another picture window, he relaxed and headed for the front door.  
  
Oh! Um, er, why- Uh, hello Remus... What, um, what're you doing here... Lily mumbled, slipping the house key into her pocket in what he thought was an inconspicuous manner.  
  
And I ask you the same. It's five in the morning. Remus commented, stepping aside to let her in. She shuffled her feet, looked around for a moment, and bit her lip.  
  
Um, came to wish James an early Merry Christmas? she tried, doing a very bad job of sounding convincing.  
  
A very _very_ early greeting. Had you noticed that the sun hasn't awoken yet?  
  
Lily choose to ignore this, and continued to stare up the staircase.  
  
Fine. You caught me, alright? I felt like coming in and pissing him off. she said. After another skeptical glare, she stomped her foot angrily, and crossed her arms.  
  
God, you should work the the Ministry Investigation Squad or something! Lily exclaimed, more than annoyed. GUilty as suspected. I came over to have a lovely snog with him. Jesus, can't I come and see my boyfriend once in a while?  
  
Relax, I don't care. Remus laughed, motioning to the stairs. Lily's face tinted red, but she turned away.  
  
Know which room he dumped himself in?  
  
  
  
He changes, I think to piss me off.  
  
Third door on the second floor, on the left... Yeah, the big one. he said after a moment of thought. A few minutes later, Lily had crept in, and a loud yelp from James sounded throughout the mansion.  
  
Remus shook his head as he smiled, and sat himself down in one of the kitchens.  
  
God I have the strangest friends...  
  
  
  
  
So how'd you get here anyway? Remus asked, the pitcher in front of him pouring another glass of milk on its own. A pancake wafted its way onto his plate, somehow pre-syruped.  
  
James connected me to the Night Bus' alert list. she said lightly.  
  
Oh... Hey, where is he anyway? It's not like James to miss a meal.  
  
He's off in the library. Lily said as a roll buttered itself.  
  
He has a library?  
  
Six, actually.  
  
he has _six_ library's? Remus gapped.  
  
Are you deaf? Lily asked, a pleasant level of Slytherin satire present. The one on the third floor, I believe. His Merlin study.  
  
Why's it called that?  
  
It's full of stuff on Merlin. When you're filthy rich you can afford to buy his journals.  
  
He bought..._ MERLIN'S _journals? By now his jaw was slightly ajar, and his eyes were wider than they had ever been.  
  
A few. The Ministry wouldn't let him have some of them... What, you make it seem like a big deal.  
  
Remus muttered, rolling his eyes. As secluded as he had been from wizarding society most of his life, he knew enough to know that owning even a fragment of something that once belonged to Merlin was unbelievable.  
  
  
  
Why is it that people just randomly show up around here? Remus snapped, sliding down the stair railings for the third time in the past few hours. Before opening the front doors, he knew who it was. Canine or otherwise, the presence of Sirius Black was obvious.  
  
JAMES! GET OVER HERE! he bellowed, plowing through the door once Remus had unlocked it. Sirius overlooked the fact that his friend was slammed behind the door, wedged between the stone walls and it, as he ran past frantically. In his hand he shook a folded magazine, running to and fro as he shouted hysterically.  
  
PADFOOT! PA- Oh, he stopped, seeing him in one of the dens. You gotta see this! he shouted again, forgetting that the building had a nasty echo. He jumped onto the sofa, shoving Lily carelessly off the end, and wielded the catalog.   
  
James' eyes went wide, and he quickly tore away his glasses, making sure he was seeing correctly.,  
  
No way! he shouted, pointing frantically. No _way_!  
  
Remus threw the door away, holding hi nose with a grimace. It was now somewhere between two shades of an attractive magenta and deep cerulean colour, though he managed to hide this from view. Standing behind his two companions, he rolled his eyes slightly.  
  
It's just a broom. Lily commented, having gotten to her feet again.  
  
James and Sirius retorted on her, faces scrunched up in offense.  
  
Just a broom? James gapped, thrusting the article into her hands. She looked at the pictures briefly before shrugging it off as nothing special.  
  
James and Sirius mumbled, fighting for the magazine again.  
  
Lily huffed.  
  
All of you. Remus interrupted. Curiosity eventually took the best of him though, and he peered over the other Marauders' shoulders to sneak a glimpse of the new super-broom.  
  
Alright, it is impressive. he admitted.  
  
  
  
Christmas dinner came very suddenly, so it seemed to Remus. For the past few days he had remained in James' libraries, reading up on newly-stocked werewolf books that only a rich brat could afford to obtain. When the first knock sounded on the great double-doors, he raised an eyebrow in discovery of Lily and her parents.  
  
Both Mr. and Mrs. Evans looked quite stunned upon seeing the entrance hall. Lily's father appeared to be making a slight thanking to God for is daughter landing such a catch. Mrs. Evans was doing much the same.  
  
Wait, dinner's tonight? he asked, and frowned at Lily's slight chuckle. He realised, a bit too late, that he was clad in torn pants and a borrowed bathrobe that was several inches too short in all lengths.  
  
Be back in a second! he called, dashing up the stairs quicker than anyone could possibly imagine, even on wolfen standards. Cursing mentally, and aloud, he rummaged through a stack of clothes he had brought.  
  
he yelled out, popping his head through the bedroom door. A moment later, his friend appeared, recently-pressed robes folded in his hands.  
  
Thought you might need these. he said with a snicker, hopping back downstairs to greet his girlfriend. Remus hurriedly changed, and was able to stomp his foot in a non-chewed shoe in time to answer the door again.  
  
  
In no time at all, the Blacks and Mrs. Pettigrew were chatting casually in one of the nicer living rooms, the Muggle television propped in a corner and the battered sofa banished. Peter's mother was currently fuming to Jella Black about her poor excuse of an ex-husband when the door chimes sounded again.  
  
Remus muttered out,confused. He hadn't known that Romolus had brought along Shelly's parents.  
  
Hello Remus. Mrs. Hollen greeted, smiling cheerily.  
  
Sorry, they insisted on coming along. Romolus said quietly, stepping inside. He shrugged slightly, and hung his cloak on the nearby rack.  
  
Moony, who're they? James asked, having come to see who else had showed for his meal.  
  
James, this is my brother and his wife, Shelly Hollen, and her family. Er, this is James Potter. Remus introduced. Grandpa Hollen pat James on the back as he walked by, whistling in admiration of the household.  
  
Nice to meet you. Mr. Hollen said, offering a grin. Terribly sorry to intrude, but it wouldn't be Christmas without Romolus and Remus, so, well, if you don't mind-  
  
It isn't a problem. James assured, reading his face. I have more than enough food to go around.  
  
Well, that might be good. Romolus said with a half-smile. I saw Caleb coming up the drive. Probably brought the little monsters with him to.  
  
Shelly hit him on the arm, frowning, while Romolus laughed in good humour.  
  
  
  
It was surreal to watch, Remus thought. All these different families had been brought together by James, united at a single table, not knowing the dark secrets the other harbored. Sirius and his family sat on the left end of the table, along with Peter and his mother. Romolus and company took residence with the three werewolves at his side, along with Lily and her parents. Petunia, it seemed, had strayed away since the last traumatic encounter. James was now seated next to him at the very end. Expensive hams and turkeys covered the table, dished with steamed everything and enough fresh-baked pastries to satisfy a market.  
  
Everyone said grace with the Evans', and eagerly dug into the meal. Remus stopped, and set down the bowl of cut veil.  
  
I don't get it. he announced quietly, staring downwards. The end place, along with the last two rows, were left set even though no one sat there.  
  
James followed his gaze, and produced one of his rare, serious sighs.  
  
It's my silver. he said quietly, indicating the different china and dish ware.  
  
  
  
My parents... They're my silver. Every year I leave a place set for them, to remind myself not to worry. I can't remember them, but, either way I get down sometimes. Lonely, you know? he asked, shrugging to himself. I'm probably crazy doing it, but... It feels like they're here, you know?  
  
Why four settings though?  
  
Your parents. James muttered, trying not to sound foolish. He was clearly not used to being emotional in the presence of others. Even if they were rather, er... Well, they cared at some point. You should respect that... he trailed off, the needed thoughts having been spoken.  
  
Remus looked back at the four empty seats, lips pursed. he closed his eyes, and when he opened them, he smiled. His mother and father seemed to be sitting their, hands folded in grace, food upon their plates.  
  
  
_But mum-  
  
Romolus, stop it. I've told you before, there isn't anything I can do.  
  
But daddy's gonna hurt him again, he keeps yellin' and sayin' he's gonna. You can't let him hurt Remmie!  
  
I don't have any control over it, I'm sorry... Please, just go to your room before your father gets back.  
  
Remus gripped at the door frame, hands white and shaking. They were fighting again, over him. Too young to understand, he merely watched as the argument progresses. He didn't need full comprehension or maturity to know that he was causing another fight.  
  
But mum, he'll-  
  
Romolus, I wont say it again. she snapped, never looking up from her newspaper. For such a small boy, Romolus was already showing emotions on his face that one shouldn't be able to produce for many years to come.  
  
he declared bravely. Mrs. Lupin finally lowered her reading, and glared at the defiant child.  
  
Not until you tell me why you're gonna let Remmie get hit again. he announced, arms crossed in imitation of his elders. Why don't ya love him anymore? You never tell him that. Why'd... Why'd ya stop caring about Remmie?  
  
I care for him Romolus, really. It's just, well, things are a little more complicated now.  
  
He didn't notice at the time, but a tear had begun to fight its way from Remus' eyes. Absently he wiped it off, and watched in confusion as his family went on.  
  
Because of him and the wolf thing?  
  
Yes, the wolf thing' is the problem now.  
  
Why? Rem isn't any different, cept during the moon nights.  
  
Your father is, well, I believe he's scared.  
  
  
  
With an exhausted sigh, Mrs. Lupin shook her head. I honestly can't say. Remus isn't dangerous at all, so Greg's just being foolish. If there was anything I could do to help your brother, I would dear. But right now... she trailed off as the garage door opened. Romolus nodded his head, and grabbed Remus by the hand as he dashed back for their bedroom.  
  
Don't worry. he said with a cheerful smile. I'm gonna find some medicine for you, and once ya get better daddy will stop yelling all the time.  
  
the little boy asked, looking up with watered eyes. The smile faded from his brothers face, and he pulled Remus onto his lap.  
  
  
  
What if there ent a medicine for me? What if, what if mum and daddy keep yellin', and...  
  
I told you not to worry, alright? Everything is gonna be fine. they'll stop yellin' and we can go right back to bein' a family again.  
  
  
  
Mum always says no buts. So, no buts. Aw, come on, don't cry...  
  
  
_Remus half-glanced at Romolus, who was at the moment laughing heartily with Caleb over something unknown.  
  
I was wrong.' he mused to himself, snapping back to reality. All along, my family's been right by my side... Caleb, Elise, and Rom... Never more than a step away.'  
  
With a smile, he let out a chuckle meant for nothing.  
  
All this time I've been blind. he said to no one in particular.  
  
Moony, look out- Sirius yelled, though it was too late. A large portion of mashed potatoes collided with his face. A few feet away, two giggling toddlers tried to hide their spoons and don innocent smiles, with little success.  
  
Get back here! Remus laughed, running off after the two boys.  
  
  
  
Well, I gotta get going. Caleb said as the grandfather clock in the lounge room struck out ten. These little things are about knocked out from running around so much. he said, indicating the two barely-concsious werewolves snuggled together on a reclining chair.  
  
Too much luxury for them I suppose. Remus said, slinging his satchel around his shoulder. They were the last left besides Sirius and Peter, who had begun to raid the scraps leftover from dinner.  
  
Are you going too Moony? James asked, yawning slightly.  
  
  
  
Romolus asked, not knowing such in advance.  
  
Remus repeated.  
  
Alright then, well, pack up. And grab a runt. he said with a shrug, throwing either Corey or Jason over his shoulder. The boy seemed not to mind, and went right on staring about with his eyes half-shut.  
  
Seeya Prongs. Remus said with a short smile, biting his lower lip. And thanks... For everything.  
  
James nodded, and waved goodbye as the four departed.  
  
Are you okay? Caleb asked, laying his half of the twins in the back seat, Remus doing likewise.  
  
I'm fine, why do you ask?  
  
That's what bothers me, you're never fine. he said, trying to start the truck into gear. He cursed, and hit the dashboard very hard. The machine sputtered to life, and emitted a thick cloud of smog out the back end.  
  
No, this time I think I am perfectly fine... Crap, you got my owl, didn't you?  
Remus blurted out, angry with himself for forgetting in the first place.  
  
Yeah, not to worry. I pulled Garade out of work, and he can thank you himself when we get back. Caleb said, backing out of the long, winding driveway.  
  
What happened?  
  
The day after I told him to get back the Russian Ministry sector he was working in figured out his ID was forged... They're a bit uptight on security there, and well, he had a little search going for a day. He's back at Jericho though, so it's all good.  
  
Remus chuckled. They had been listening to his conversation before, it seemed.  
  
City of the Moon... Ironic connection.  
  
We needed a nickname, it's too suspicious talking about an Underground in public places. That is, on the occasion we get out anywhere.  
  
  
  
Both looked briefly into the rearview mirror, and discovered that the twins weren't asleep anymore.  
  
  
  
You said, you said if mum and da' couldn't come back, that you'd take care of us, right?  
  
Remus tensed up, though he assumed it was nothing compared to the sinking feeling in Caleb's gut.  
  
he said with some difficulty, trying to conceal the quaver in his voice.  
  
So are ya gonna be our da' then? Corey asked innocently.  
  
And Remmie too? Jason added.  
  
Both elder werewolves glanced at each other, faces devoid of all colour, lips pressed tight.  
  
Remus stammered.  
  
came the added response.  
  
was the collaborated effort.  
  
Two identical faces beamed in bewilderment at the pair through the mirror, until finally Jason tugged at Remus' hair.  
  
Didja fall asleep?  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Well, another down. A bit lengthy now isn't it? Hopefully the next one will be out soon, now that I'm officially done with my video games and warding off school counselors. Bloody gits.  
  
Thanks for all who review!  
  
**Iggie  
  
**Fic of the Day- Blood of Mud, Wing of Bat by whippy: **Hermione, now married to Chudley Cannons Beater Ron Weasley, is asked to collaborate for a project with none other than Draco malfoy. Oh, how the chaos ensues...  
  
**Title Meaning- **Caecus is quite simply without sight', or blind. Make the connection, it's written right in! (Try sayin' that ten times fast. Go on, I dare you)  
  
  
Kittlylace- There, happy? You're personally being thanked for all the wonderful reviews. So sorry I've skipped over... :)  
  
Everyone else, Thanks! Nytd, Kiki, riverlady... All you recent reviewers, Lots of Love to you!  
  
New readers: Anonymous, Kate Lynn, wowsergirl, Janice... Thanks for finding me! And Janice, thanks for the grammar help. I know, I'm terrible! XP This is what happens when you sleep in Lit. class for years on end. The fact that I don't even have a beta could have something to do with it as well...


	49. Part XLIX Tinsel Trails

A/n- Yes. There's more. I fear there will _always_ be more.  
  
Disclaimer- I'll simplify this for you- Me no own, you no sue. Arigato.  
  
Rating- PG-13 for language, themes, possible violence and other such non-kid-friendly topics.  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XLIX - Tinsel Trails  
  
_  
  
_  
Christmas at the Underground... Caleb trailed off, smiling peacefully. Over the past week, he had been out in the mountainous range searching for an adequate tree, one that was now planted in the center of the city streets. Dazzling white pixies decorated the entire surface of the tree, it cast a mesmerizing shadow all around the centre. The whole town had been bidding their compliments at such a grand find, and praise followed him around for several days like a loyal pet.  
  
C'we put on our ornaments? Corey asked, tugging on Remus' sleeve. He nodded, and the two boys began to giggle excitedly to themselves.  
  
Where do you want them to go?  
  
Jason began, pursing his lips in intense thought. He then grinned wide, and pointed up towards the middle of the tree, an impossible height for such a boy to reach alone.  
  
Here, climb aboard. Remus laughed, kneeling down in the thin sheet of snow covering the ground. Jason scrambled onto his back, gripping painfully to Remus' hair.  
  
Me too me too! Corey protested, jumping up and down in impatience. Caleb lowered, and scooped the child onto his shoulders in a similar fashion.  
  
No, go ta the left a little! Jason directed a minute later, demanding perfection. Finally satisfied with the position, he looped the little wood carving on a needle and spent a moment arranging the branches around it. Corey moved Caleb over as well, and hung his ornament right next to his brothers.  
  
So, are the two wolves you guys? Remus asked as he lowered the twin.  
  
he said, smiling in a proud manner as he stared at his work of art.  
  
Then who are they? Caleb questioned, following the gaze.  
  
Both our da's. Corey declared, as though it had been obvious. The small and crude wolf carvings, connected by a half moon on either side to form a whole, glittered up above.  
  
The two elders shared a nervous glance, and swallowed.  
  
Oh boy.  
  
  
  
Hello... Earth to Caleb... Remus laughed and shook his head. He had been waving his hand in front of his friends face for a few solid minutes before he ever took notice. When Caleb did break his stare, he looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a speeding truck.  
  
Oh. Yeah?  
  
You look quite dead, though if it was intended, then I commend you. A brilliant impersonation. Remus said, sitting down opposite him on the couch.  
  
So what's bothering you?  
  
The runts.  
  
Ah, not ready for the parent blow? I know what you mean... If they call me da'' in public I think I'll have to shoot myself. Where are the monsters anyway?  
  
Out with Mel, I think.  
  
They really should have a mother. Remus said, the faintest hint of a smile playing his lips. Caleb offered him a sharp glare, but chuckled nonetheless.  
  
You're right. he agreed. They do, and that's not something I can help right now. I wish... I wish Elise was still around, you know?  
  
God, would she laugh if she saw us trying to raise two boys!  
  
They smiled and laughed in good humor for a while, until Caleb again fell silent in a solemn state of reflection.  
  
It wont last forever, this calm. Sooner or later, one of us wont be around to take care of them. Those two deserve better than to be left again.  
  
Bloody hell, it's Christmas Eve. Knock off the depression.  
  
Both stopped their staring contest at the sound of a crash right outside their door. Not a second later the door flew open, and Garade hobbled his way in. What he was holding was more surprising than the fact that he had a freely bleeding gash across his cheek.  
  
WHAT THE HELL'S YOUR PROBLEM? Caleb roared angrily.  
  
Oh, sorry for not wanting someone to _die_!  
  
If you got caught _ALL_ of us would die!  
  
SHUT UP! Remus yelled suddenly, breaking their argument before it got out of hand. He was, for a moment, startled that his outbreak had silenced the two who looked quite ready to tear each other apart. He cleared his throat, and taking on an important sort of frown, crossed his arms.  
  
Both of you stop trying to bloody kill each other. he said at long last, tapping his foot. We obviously have more important things to worry about.  
  
Caleb and Garade shared a short glare before nodding in mutual, if reluctant, agreement.  
  
  
  
You're still a damned fool for going after her. Caleb muttered, tearing the loose bandage with his teeth as he tied a knot. Remus rolled his eyes, and told him again to drop the subject.  
  
If he was caught, then we could've been hunted down.  
  
But he wasn't, Remus pointed out angrily, tired of separating the two every five minutes. and we're fine. So can you two at least try to set aside all accusations, at least until we can figure this out? he asked. After glaring at each, he rolled his eyes again, and ran a hand through his mess of hair.  
  
Caleb, just shut the hell up for _once_. I don't agree with what he did, but it's a little bit late for that, isn't it? he snapped. Upon no response, and finding that neither would even share a look with the other, he slammed his fist down on the table.  
  
Bloody hell... I give up!  
  
With that said, he turned sharply, and slammed the door behind him, leaving Caleb and Garade to care for the injured rescue on their own.  
  
  
  
Having a rough day? one of the locals asked as he slummed into a chair at the small restaurant in town.  
  
I think life would be more appropriate. he grumbled.  
  
Well, enter the rest of us my friend. None of this came easy, he said, waving his hand to indicate the city. but it's sure as hell worth it. You should be glad you got picked up when you did. The world's ruthless out there, hell, I never wanna go back to it.  
  
Yes, well I have to. Remus snapped, almost resentfully.  
  
You have kinsfolk out there, or-  
  
No, I have another life out there. he interrupted. I don't stay here...  
  
The older man raised his eyebrows, and smiled to himself in a funny sort of way.  
  
You have security, at least for a good while more anyway, and you still feel attached to the hell that lies outside these walls? Look lad, I don't know about what you left behind, but it doesn't matter anymore, once you-  
  
Don't lecture me on living. Remus snapped again. I sure as hell know enough about it by now... I don't think you understand me clear, old man. he said, and this seemed to upset the man (who was apparently not so old). I'm not whining about having to leave whatever behind. I'm whining about the fact that I can't pick one bloody place to live in.  
  
The elder's features' changed rather quickly. He dropped his amused smile, and his face slowly contoured in understanding, a solemn look.  
  
You're Simmers' save, aren't you? The one who goes to Hogwarts... he trailed off, pursing his lips. Remus followed his distracted gaze, and found both of the twins fighting in the doorway, trying to rip something from each others' hands.  
  
Whoa, what's the problem? Remus laughed, anger slowly fading as he held up Corey by his robes, out of his brothers' reach.  
  
The pair immediately began bickering again, trying to tear the other apart by any means possible. Whistling in such a shrill fashion as he could only do, the two boys, equipped with a canine distaste for high-pitches, ceased their antics at once.  
  
Corey, what's the problem? he asked calmly, keeping a firm eye on each.  
  
We wanna story, but neither of us can read too well. he mumbled out.  
  
He wants a dumb one! Jason interrupted, thrusting his selection in front of Remus' face, or as high as he could get it. Stupid thing abou' a dragon.  
  
Yours is more stupider! Corey snapped back, wriggling free of his psuedo-fathers grasp and displaying his own novel with a hint of pride. Mine's the best one. And da's gonna read it!  
  
No he isn't!  
  
Yes he is!  
  
NO HE ISN'T! Yours is stupid!  
  
He's gonna read mine, a'cause yours is... Is... Corey stammered to find the right word, and in failing to do so, he lunged at his twin instead.  
  
Remus let out a long sigh, and watched for a moment as the boys attempted to lock the other against the ground. Being of equal strength, it was an interesting brawl, as neither could subdue the other long enough, and both were holding with vice-like grips to their own book. After a few laughs and receiving a wayward punch, he finally separated the boys.  
  
How about I read both of them? he suggested.   
  
Corey and Jason glanced at each other, and slowly smiled. The thought had never crossed their minds, and they nodded in delight.  
  
A second later, they were fighting once again over whose selection would be read first.  
  
Those yours? the man asked, a small hint of pity present in his voice.  
  
In a sense.  
  
Maybe you _are_ better off at Hogwarts. he laughed.  
  
  
  
Da, what's wrong with the girl in the lunch room? Corey asked, pulling urgently at Caleb's sleeve. He swallowed nervously again, not having gotten accustomed to being a titled father.  
  
She's just sick, that's all. And Corey, both of you, he said sternly, looking away from his grilled steak long enough to glare at the twins. I don't want either of you going near that lady, alright?  
  
Caleb, we've got a problem. Remus interrupted, popping his head in through the door to the cabin.  
  
It's Christmas Eve for God's sake, what's wrong now?  
  
Garade's save presumably has a pack of very angry wolves that are not very pleased with sitting outside the gates. he informed, moving quickly back and forth in agitation. They wont reason, and if I even tell them she's about dead, then... Well, I don't think they're going to be reasonable anymore.  
  
Look, I'm busy. I'm making the kids a real dinner, hopefully. Caleb added, trying to smile at the two boys who understood very little that was going on.  
  
What am I supposed to do then? They will _not_ listen to a thing I say.  
  
It's your problem now, like it or not.  
  
Remus rolled his eyes, and with a heavy sigh, figured it was for the best. It would be the first normal Christmas for the boys, and he didn't need the guilty conscious of having ruined it. With a short nod of his head, he closed to door, and ran back through the frigid streets towards the gates.  
  
  
_Where is Helina?  
  
_She can't come out. Remus said shortly for what had to be the tenth time. The pack, seven males and two females, all growled disapprovingly at this knowledge. A white-coloured male who the others called Barret stepped forward defiantly.  
  
_Then you will let us inside.  
  
_Afraid I can't, there's wards all around this village. Remus explained, tapping at the silver gates. Animals can't get in, lest they're dead.  
  
_I do not know of what wards you speak, nor do I care. If Helina is not here in a short minute then we will go and find her. I do not care what I have to kill in the process.  
  
_Where's Shebea when you need her?' he mused with a short smile and laugh. He forgot that wolves didn't enjoy laughter to any extent.  
  
_There is nothing to be growled at, human. You may disprove of our loyalties and concern, I find it common among you beasts, but we we wish for our pack mate back. Continue to hold her captive, and-  
  
_We are holding no one captive. Remus interrupted. He leaned against the side of the narrow rock walls, and crossed his arms, trying to display his own sense of authority. Behaving around wolves was based solely on respect, and communication was nothing spoken. Holding his shoulders square, he narrowed his deep eyes.  
  
Your friend is not well, we are caring for her and healing the wounds to the best of our ability. he said lightly, but stern enough to silence the whispering group.  
  
_You will let us tend to our own. She does not belong with the very kind who hurt her so._ another wolf spoke.  
  
_She isn't of your world any longer, let her be! _a cub piped bravely.  
  
They went on for several minutes, blurting out protests, until Remus barked shrilly, cutting them all off.  
  
You're right, she was hurt by mankind, but that means nothing. Do you not injure yourselves in territorial conflicts?  
  
The alpha male pondered this for a moment, and lowered his tail, an act of agreement.  
  
_There are differences, that is for natures law. We cannot freely give out our land to those who do not belong. It is disrespectful for another to even attempt doing such.  
  
_And humans can't act the same? She was an intruder, different from whoever's customs. They warded her off in the way they thought best. Remus said, finally gaining their attention. She isn't well, and I am not going to let her go until she is. Releasing her to you would only do more harm.  
  
The white wolf finally lowered his head, admitting the logic, showing respect. Without another word, he turned and silently walked off into the wood, his pack following obediently.  
  
Behind the gates, Remus wondered how he had won a debate with a wolf set on claiming what was theirs.  
  
he murmured, shrugging to himself. That worked well, I guess. I'd best well hope that girl doesn't die, else I'm going to have a much harder time fending those prats off.  
  
With one last shrug of surprise, he too turned and headed for one of the many places he called home.  
  
  
  
C'we open one?  
  
Yeah, just _one_?  
  
A little one, one'a the... Little ones, like-  
  
Or a big one.  
  
Yeah. A big one!  
  
But just one. Please?  
  
Yeah da', please?  
  
Caleb smiled at the two dancing irritably at his feet. He smiled at Corey, and nodded his head.  
  
On one condition. he interrupted before either sprite had ample time to tear a crudely wrapped gift to shreds.  
  
What's that? they both asked immediately, too anxious to wait another minute.  
  
I don't think Remus likes being called da', not right now. he said gently, trying very hard not to give off the wrong impression.   
  
In the kitchen, preparing another batch of slightly-charred cookies in a beaten oven, Remus turned his head. Wedging a crack through the shutters that separated the rooms, he listened curiously as the conversation went on.  
  
Why's that? He... He doesn't wanna be our da'?  
  
No, that's not it at all. You see, well, he's still a kid. He isn't ready to be a father. Not yet anyway.  
  
the twins said, not really understanding, and not caring enough to delay their presents. Remus heard his friend let out a sigh, and the twins quickly giggled in delight as they pondered which of the few presents to open.  
  
How bout this one? Corey asked, shoving a box wrapped in slightly-creased wrapping paper, salvaged from previous gifts, in front of Remus. He set down the tray of warm cookies, and took a seat on the only vacant chair.   
  
The little room was over-decorated in fresh garland and glittering flowers indigenous to the magical community. By the sooty fireplace there lay a small pile of presents, nearly all labeled for the twins, though a few townsmen had pooled their savings to repay Caleb and Remus for their lives and freedom.  
  
That looks like a winner. Remus said with a smile as the boy clambered onto his lap. He discretely plucked Remus' wand from his pocket, tapped the box three times, and then threw the tool aside.  
  
Hey, where'd you learn- Remus blurted out in disbelief. Caleb chuckled, and put on a very unconvincing innocent smile.  
  
Bloody git, you're impossible! he laughed, loudly for a while, as the sandy-haired twins began to ravish the paper barriers and cardboard impediments.  
  
they both said as one, holding up their identical items. Remus and Caleb shared a laugh, having bought the exact same broom for the boys.  
  
You like them? Remus asked as the two tore away the last of the faded ribbons and packaging.  
  
Both stared in awe, as for months they had been dreaming of flying around on the small-model broomsticks.  
  
Let me guess... Second hand, five Galleons, new handle and refined twigs?  
  
How'd you know?  
  
I think I went in right after you came out... Caleb chuckled under his breath, nodding his head as Jason began to describe in great detail how wonderful the broom was.  
  
You'll be the envy of every wizard in town, and the Muggles too. Remus said.  
  
Grabbing a cookie as he was pulled through the door, Remus managed to smile and frown at the same time.  
  
  
I've finally given up hope for ever finding a normal life. he admitted aloud as the twins started to try and mount the brooms, to little success. Caleb took the matters into his own hands, and after a few attempts, the boys were soaring a few feet off the ground in sheer delight.  
  
After a while, abnormal will become expected for you. So, hell, you will find normal eventually, just not on anyone else's standards.  
  
Remus thought about it for a moment, but his musings were cut short when Corey toppled off his broom, having collided with his brother.  
  
he said brightly, caught safely in Remus' arms before he also collided with the solid ground.  
  
Caleb chuckled, and winked once.  
  
  
  
Is she alright?  
  
Luckily. I pulled a doctor out of the Hungarian area a month back, he's a saint and then some. Caleb mumbled, closing the door to the back room. The girl who had befriended the pack of stubborn wolves was placed in care of Caleb for the night until she awoke.  
  
Three shots to the stomach... Remus said in disbelief. It's disgusting what they do to get rid of us.  
  
his friend replied bitterly. He perked up upon discovering that Melhane was sitting in his living room by the fire.  
  
Oh, hi Remus... she trailed off, tucking a lock of hair behind her red ear. She rubbed her hands together briefly, and invited Caleb to join her on the small seat.  
  
I'll... I'll just be going. Er, snack or... Something... Remus stammered, collecting his cloak very quickly. Caleb, who was now comfortably placed on the girls lap, smiled thankfully.  
  
There's some money on the windowsill. he added, but was cut off as Remus bit his lip. Pointing up, he cracked a grin. Caleb smiled in delight, and heard the door shut just as he saw the mistletoe overheard.  
  
Outside, Remus gagged to himself, and rolled his eyes.  
  
Damn romantics. he grumbled, kicking his way through the snow, hands in his pockets.  
  
  
  
**A/n- Well, thanks for reading so far! Recruit some friends, I'm desperate for new faces. Not to imply that I'm sick of you all... I just ant to include a bit of shameless promotion! Hehe... And on news, well, I should be able to finish this within another hundred pages. ::watches as everyone falls dead::  
  
:)  
  
**Iggie


	50. Part L Escalating Tyranny

A/n- Back for more! Sorry those Christmas holidays took so long, my mental mood has been off recently and i needed to prolong that eventful time period.   
  
All suggestions welcome, at AlyssaC7@aol.com. Cheers!  
  
Disclaimer- Come on, you SURELY know I own NONE of it by now!  
  
Rating- PG-13 for swearing, pranks, and randomly scattered Snape torture.  
  
Chapter Keywords- Oh, is Hogwarts gonna be wishin' the Marauders stayed on vacation!  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part L - Escalating Tyranny  
  
  
  
How the hell are we supposed to get one of the most heavily guarded ingredients from the locked cabinets? Peter asked irritably, wishing to brush aside the entire plot. James and Sirius glared at him venously, and shook their heads.  
  
Fine, chicken out. More glory for us anyway-  
  
And more detention time. Peter interrupted. He gathered up his armful of books, and took residence at a table furthest away as possible across the Common Room.  
  
Alright, who needs him anyway? James said to himself.  
  
Us, we need a distraction. Remus reminded with a small grin. Much as a pain in the backside as he is, the little prat make a wonderful distraction.  
  
Moony's right... Again. Sirius grumbled, letting out a long sigh. We need to come up with a new plan if we want to get that stuff.  
  
Can't you substitute the colostrum for something else? Admittedly, this is more risky, not to mention more illegal, than most of our recent escapades. A mother dragon's first milk is hard to come by.  
  
Stop worrying. James snapped in good humour. It's not_ if _we'll get it, it's _how_ we'll get it.  
  
Besides, anything else wouldn't be as practical. I was down in the Restricted Section a few nights ago and I stumbled across a Healing book. That colostrum is dead-useful. You know, if we took a few more things while we're down there, I'm sure me and James could whip up an ointment-type-thing that could fix up your transformation scars.  
  
Holy Jesus... You know what this means? James blurted out with a mystical sort of awe.  
  
Sirius said, eyebrow raised.  
  
Enlighten us, if you will.  
  
It means... It means that Padfoot actually _reads_!  
  
Sirius and Remus promptly thwarted him with two very fluffy pillows that soon exploded into a storm of feathers.  
  
No, but really- James chocked out between smacks. The new guy, Forson, he's too much of a git to notice- hey, that's not a legal blow- so we shouldn't have a problem getting the stuff- Sirius, one more time and I'll-  
  
Total git, is he? I haven't seen him yet.  
  
He isn't much of an improvement off of the last bloke... What's his name...  
  
Professor Whilp. Sirius offered.  
  
Yeah, him. Well, Professor Forson's gonna be easy as anyone, I swear. We ran into him in the halls first night back when we were trying to change the Slytherin banner to show a pink bunny rabbit when he found us.  
  
Should've taken the Invisibility Cloak. Remus said offhand. James scowled at him for a moment, but went on.  
  
He was too scared to even issue us a detention for God's sake.  
  
A _complete_ pushover. Sirius added.  
  
So really, it wont be a problem to borrow a few ounces of a little ingredient.  
  
A little Class-A Non-Tradeable Goods ingredient. Remus snickered.  
  
Sirius and James shared a short look, and shrugged.  
  
Not a problem.  
  
  
  
James gasped, clutching at his side as he scrambled to get the rest of the Invisibility Cloak over him.  
  
What happened?  
  
Padfoot, well, he knocked over a beaker... Turns out Forson's _not_ such a pushover. Not when he's angry anyway.  
  
Remus rolled his eyes, and walked along down the hall with some difficulty, as James was trying to run instead.  
  
Dammit, he shouldn't have gone that way! he cursed, glaring at the little dot labeled Padfoot zooming along through distant passages. He was supposed to stay with me...  
  
Then you both would have been caught. At least with the new professor we have the benefit of the doubt. That, and he wont be familiar with out criminal record. Remus half-laughed, watching Sirius do a wonderful dive into a new tunnel he would have to draw in later.  
  
James assured, smiling nervously. He'd best not crash about too much, he'll break that vial at this rate.  
  
You mean you guys actually got it? Remus gapped.  
  
You doubt our mad skill? James asked. After a short glare, he rolled his eyes, and turned a corner.   
  
Alright, pure luck. Who cares, we got it anyway. It should be enough to create that storm...  
  
What storm?  
  
Oh, our original plan was to create this wicked potion we read about in the Restricted Section. It makes a small, controlled thunderstorm wherever we please.  
  
Slytherin Quidditch match, right? Remus asked with a grin.  
  
Precisely. Wouldn't it be grand if we could get Peter to release it right before they catch the Snitch or something? Scare the pants off of those gits-  
  
Are we on the third floor? Remus asked suddenly, looking around. Before James could answer, he spotted a tapestry of a wizard who was leaning against his sleeping horse, and he turned around sharply. Taking a brief mental recap, he pulled James through the false wall and up a very steep staircase.  
  
When'd you find this? James asked in delight, discovering they were now a mere hallway from Sirius.  
  
I had to have some place to hide from you guys... Remus mumbled, pulling his companion flat against the wall. A second later, Argus Filch ran by with what seemed like a slight limp.  
  
Sirius said casually, slipping into the little stair nook.  
  
Why's Filch limping?  
  
Sirius smiled sheepishly, and shrugged in a very non-innocent way.  
  
So, get the goods?  
  
Of course.  
  
  
  
  
  
Remus cursed under his breath, trying desperately to clean up the mess before Professor Forson noticed. For the few short minutes he had known the man, it was already clear he had an extreme dislike for werewolves.  
  
I see you've wasted yet another vial, Lupin. he spat vehemently. Remus jumped slightly, not realizing his instructor had been right behind him. Swallowing his anger, he ignored the small whisper the man had added, mopping up the mess with gritted teeth.  
  
You're gonna let him say that to you? Sirius whispered, canine abilities picking up the remark.  
  
Remus sighed, shutting his eyes for a moment. A tiny voice in the back of his mind was quietly telling him to go and seek revenge. He shoved the wolf aside, and magicked the broken glass into the trash.  
  
Come on, you can't let him say that to your face! That's so-  
  
Mr. Black, one more word and you'll be having a joyful time cleaning the Slytherin Common Room. And I assure you, it's quite untidy. the new Head of House barked from the front of the room. Currently, he was doing a wonderful job of harassing Peter and what was left of his feeble nerves and faltering self esteem.  
  
Bugger off. Sirius snapped before he could hold his tongue.  
  
Professor Forson's face went rigid, the colour rose to his high cheeks, and for a split second Remus could sense that Sirius was actually frightened. The short but burly elder advanced on his pupil while the rest of the class remained in a state of stunned silence.  
  
Watch your mouth Mr. Black. the professor spat icily, in a tone that would put even Bane to shame. He stressed every syllable, making the short warning seem like a death threat.  
  
Remus swallowed again, hands frozen in place. He dared not move, let alone breath, for fear that Forson would turn on him.  
  
I want to see both of you after class. he hissed, turning around sharply. The class jumped at the sudden movement, and remained still until the man retired to his office.  
  
What did I do? Remus asked himself, though knowing the answer.  
  
  
  
Late Friday night found Remus and Sirius on their hands and knees, scrubbing furiously at the grimy walls of the Slytherin Common Room. It had been well over an hour, and not even a single layer of filth had begun to come off the stone. Remus guessed there had been some party or wayward assignment that splattered the greenish mold across the walls and floors.  
  
a seventh-year Slytherin snickered, watching with extreme amusement as his adversaries worked. Remus could hear distantly the rude comments of the other House members, though Sirius' ears were not as tuned, for the better. As it was, he was already using every ounce of self-control he possessed not to get in a fight, and he knew very well Sirius would show no such restraint.  
  
Worst of all, Remus could see from the corner of his eye that Snape was watching with a stupid smirk at the top of the spiral stairs.  
  
Do you want something? Remus finally asked, annoyed that he was being stared at for such a long time.  
  
What could I possibly enjoy more than watching you and Black clean up filth? No, I am _quite_ content. he said with a distinct sneer.   
  
Remus rolled his eyes, and ground the brush into the stone floor a little bit harder.  
  
What's the matter Lupin, you don't seem too delighted to be here. You should feel honoured to set foot in the Serpents Nest. Snape said, motioning with his hand about the near-empty Common Room.  
  
More like the Serpents Dung-Hole. Sirius mumbled with a frown.  
  
And I'm so sure the Gryffindor dorms are more... Sophisticated. I take it you have random mismatched chairs strewn about, in addition to old furniture and distasteful paintings? Yes, well, pardon me if I enjoy something a tad more... Sensible.  
  
Oh, so dead rodents are in this year? Remus asked casually, producing the carcass by the tail. Snape scowled, and opened his mouth to say something.  
  
And the general gloomy feeling, I take it that's fashionable as well? Terribly sorry, but my tastes are a bit beyond stone walls and the whole dungeon-esque feeling. You understand, of course.  
  
You would have made a fine Slytherin, Lupin. Pity you were wasted with two such curses. Snape mused, and at that he turned back to his dormitory.  
  
Did he just compliment you? Sirius questioned some time later, blinking furiously.  
  
I believe he did Padfoot.  
  
Ok, now I'm thoroughly creeped out. And it has _nothing_ to do with the dead mouse.  
  
  
  
_Caleb, please! You have to listen to me! If you go out there, you might not make it back, not right-  
  
I'm not going to let them die.  
  
So you're going to get yourself killed, taking an impossible chance at saving them? That's a pointless move.  
  
This isn't chess; this is life. I don't care whether or not it's a logical sacrifice. It's a risk I have to take. I don't have a choice.  
  
  
  
  
  
That's a lie... You have a choice. There's no need for you to go and-  
  
This isn't about me anymore, is it? This is about your Goddamn insecurities. Grow up, plain and simple. I'm not going to be around forever Lupin, and neither will your friends.  
  
How can you-  
  
I'm leaving. Don't even bother coming along, it's obvious you couldn't give a damn.  
  
  
_Remus. Hey, wake up, will you?  
  
He let out a small moan, and stirred awake form his restless sleep. After focusing, Remus saw Peter sitting at the side of the bed, brows furrowed in concern.  
  
You were kind of talking, again. he mumbled quietly. The others had not been disturbed, as was apparent by Sirius' and James' chorus of snoring.  
  
Remus said under his breath, rolling over on his side. For a moment Peter stayed, contemplating whether or not to question what had caused the disturbance. Eventually, he shrugged, and quietly made his way back to his own bed.  
  
Damn imagination. Remus said into his pillow. In a manner of seconds, he was once again drooling contentedly, the visions forgotten as the sun rose.  
  
  
  
I can't believe things have gotten this bad. James muttered in dismay, shaking his head. Across the table, Alex Avery grabbed the newspaper.  
  
Oh Lord... he muttered, going white.  
  
What's wrong? Remus asked, noticing immediately the shallow look his face had taken. Alex shook his head, trying to disregard what he knew to be true.  
  
Remus snatched the paper back, and looked for a moment, trying to figure out what was causing the sudden change in the usually cheerful Quidditch player. Alex attempted to grab back the paper, but it was too late.  
  
That's your brother, isn't it? Remus asked quietly, as not to let the others hear. With a drastically white face, Alex nodded.  
  
He didn't come home over the holidays... I mean, I always figured, you know, but... I never thought... he trailed off, eyes shut tight, trying to hide the shock he felt.  
  
I never thought it was real. he finally said, chocking on his own voice. He's always been involved with some shaky people, but, you know, you don't really believe your own family's going to... To.... Again he had to pause, hands beginning to shake in his lap. My parents never disapproved of his company, they'd let all of them stay over in the summer. I think... I think they're in with it as well.  
  
With what?  
  
The Dark movement, you know... With the war. he stammered nervously.  
  
Remus blinked once, and tried to fathom what was being said. It was a blow close to home, right on his own level, with his friends. Before, it had been a distant encounter, a brief clashing with Romolus being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Now it was striking another front.  
  
Hogwarts was being hit.  
  
You need to tell someone. he decided, nodding his head in self-confirmation.  
  
I can't turn in my own family. And...  
  
Alex, what's wrong? James asked suddenly, Lily having gone off. With nothing to occupy his thoughts, he had realised there was a broken Gryffindor sitting next to him.  
  
he whispered, jumping up from his seat. Nothing at all.   
  
Alex Avery ran off rather quickly, and Remus dared not follow him.  
  
  
  
Now, the proper way to conduct the spell is to make sure you're holding your wand correctly, and to pronounciate-  
  
Excuse me, Celia?  
  
Remus, along with the rest of the class, turned to see who was foolish enough to interrupt Ms. Horder's class.  
  
What the hell do you want? she snapped angrily, not pleased to see the man. Remus raised his eyebrow for a moment, wondering where he recognized the very short and irritated executive from.  
  
He bit his lip for a second, and beckoned her out into the hallway with his eyes.  
  
Just spit it out Langlis, I have a class to teach. Ms. Horder barked, once again doing a splendid imitation of the former Potions Master.  
  
He works for the Ministry... Remus whispered to himself. He remembered briefly his encounter under the Head of Department for the Dark Prevention Committee. Slouching in his chair slightly, he tried to avoid recognition.  
  
Celia, it'd be best if-  
  
Spit it, or get the hell out of my classroom. I'm busy trying to teach these gits how to keep themselves from getting killed. Emphasis on trying... Potter! One more time and I'll have your neck! she snapped again. James grinned, and dropped whatever he had been attempting to slip down a Slytherin's back.  
  
Again the man bit his lip, though this time it was a more concerned fear instead of the uneasiness of being around Ms. Horder. He shuffled his feet for a moment, delaying whatever he needed to say.  
  
It's about Andrew... he said, trailing off as he turned away. Most of the class hadn't been paying attention to the professor, though Remus caught the look of pained shock in her eyes. After a single blink, it was gone.  
  
I understand. You can leave... Thank you. she said quietly, forcing some authority into her tone. For the remainder of the class, she lectured a hair quieter than normal, only snapping out when she felt she needed to reinstate her power over the students. As the bell rang, everyone was grateful to leave the tense room.  
  
Come on, we're going to be late for History of Magic. Peter muttered, James and Sirius following behind as they passed through the door.  
  
I'll be there in a minute. Remus said absently, waving them off. As the other Marauders shrugged and departed, he gathered up his books, and walked to the front of the room.  
  
Ms. Horder had her back faced towards him, leaning against the chair, hugging her knee's tight.  
  
Are you alright?  
  
She jumped slightly, for once having let her guard down. After a short pause, she nodded her head.  
  
I don't need your spells to know you're lying. Remus said softly. It wasn't something new for him, seeing others in distress. He was a master of the emotion himself. There was no fooling a fool.  
  
Just _leave_. I don't want to talk about it.  
  
Penning it up will only make it worse. If you don't mind me asking, and if you wont pin me down, can I inquire as to who Andrew is?  
  
I need to be alone. the young instructor finally said, voice cracking mid-sentance.  
  
It doesn't help. At all.  
  
I don't care. Just... Go away, or something. You're going to be late for class.  
  
Does anyone actually care if I show up late for History? It isn't as if Binns will notice that his least favourite student is missing. Remus snorted, smiling sardonically.  
  
Why do you say that? she mumbled, still staring firmly at the base of the floor.  
  
He isn't too kindly taken with having a werewolf in his classroom.  
  
For a moment, she looked over her shoulder, eyes red but curious.  
  
You didn't know? Remus gulped, wanting very much to smack himself in the head. She shook her head, seeming more like a child than an adult in such.  
  
I never knew...  
  
Figures, I go and tell one of the few professors who wasn't informed. Bloody hell, after this year, I'm sure they all will. Remus snapped to himself, rolling his eyes at his own carelessness. But... If you didn't know, then why didn't you ask why I was always late, and in the hospital wing?  
  
Dumbledore told me before I started that you had a medical condition. I didn't feel it my place to question someone else's personal life. she said simply.  
  
Remus raised an eyebrow, stunned slightly. He hadn't been around many people when they first learned, in his presence, of his true identity. It was by far a surprise to not find discrimination and hateful glares, or even a hint of superiority.  
  
Thank you, he said at last, snapping back to reality. For understanding.  
  
She shrugged as if it was nothing, and turned away for a moment.  
  
Do you know where Greg's office is? Ms. Horder mumbled, wiping at her eyes.  
  
  
  
Professor Forson. she corrected.  
  
Third floor, the eastern hallway. He's the only door on the left with a window pane intact... James and Sirius had a bit of fun with some rockets they were experimenting with.  
  
Thank you... For giving a damn. Most of the staff and students here don't see past a pretty face and stone heart. she said as she raised herself to her feet, as though lifting an additional hundred pounds with her.  
  
Don't tell anyone about me, alright? They already hate me enough as it is...  
  
You secret is safe here... And if _you_ tell _anyone_ that you saw me cry... Rest assured Lupin, you'll be spending many a night in the hospital wing, and it will have nothing to do with the lunar cycle. Horder said, smiling slightly in a pained way. I'm the cold-hearted Defense bitch, after all. I have a reputation to uphold.  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Thanks so much for reading this far. Well, I might have a slight delay, nother personal crisis I need to attend to. So the next bit might not be up for about a week or so. Sorry.  
  
**Iggie  
  
  
**Fic of the Day- A Twist of Fate by Eureka:** I know I've had it here before, but you really must read it. This is simply a delightfully interesting fic involving a young Harry on the streets and Padfoot. Go review, motivate the writer to post more often.


	51. Part LI Rhetoric

A/n- Yes, again... I swear, it'll end at some point! Honest... ::looks around skeptically:: Really! Honest- ::Harry's Sneakoscope starts going off madly::  
Damn! ::bashes the wretched thing, smiles innocently in fashion of James and Sirius::  
  
Disclaimer- I own nothing, they own everything. Quite simple, really.  
  
Rating- A strong PG-13 for language, because no one is happy during wars.  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LI - Rhetoric  
  
  
  
Care to play a game? Remus asked lightly, sliding into the chair. It had been a day since Alex had showed up for any classes after reading the news headlines. From then on, he had remained in the Gryffindor Tower, only leaving for brief meals.  
  
he mumbled, looking away.  
  
Come on, I haven't played in a while. I'm sure you can slaughter me. Remus joked, setting out his chess pieces. After a moment of thought, the Chaser faced him, though he kept his head down for a long while as his King gave him a pep-talk.  
  
I... I can't do it. he blurted out, dropping his bishop a few moves into the game. It scarcely took a second for Remus to understand that he wasn't talking about chess.  
  
The piece pushed itself upright, and scolded his commander in a minute voice while Alex started to shake slightly.  
  
If they're doing something illegal, you need to tell someone.  
  
I can't, you don't... You don't get it.  
  
Don't you always say that your family isn't exactly pleasant to you? Remus tried. He felt odd, trying to help someone else with a family crisis, when he had no proper family experiences to speak of. If you get them straightened out, maybe you can find-  
  
You don't GET IT! he screeched out, eliciting a few stares from the House students who hadn't departed for bed. His hands fell back to the table, and in a broken, slow motion, Alex shrank back to his chair.  
  
You're right, I don't understand. Explain, if you will... Remus said quietly as a throng of Gryffindor's headed for their dorms, wanting to avoid the possible fight.  
  
They'll kill me. he snapped in a whisper. They really will kill me.  
  
Come on, they're your parents! They wouldn't hur-  
  
I'm the filth of the family Remus, the scum on their bloodline. he explained, eyes squinted shut. A Gryffindor, a pathetic little Gryffindor who doesn't understand the family business... Some weak excuse for an Avery. I'm nothing to them. _Nothing_. I'm sure even werewolves have a better life than me. Alex laughed, though there was no true humour in his chortle.  
  
Remus swallowed, his throat closing momentarily.  
  
You really should tell someone... That doesn't mean turn them in, you know, you could leave a tip, or... he sighed, and shook his head. I know it isn't my place to tell you how to handle this. I'm just, well, it's sick what these people are doing. After what happened with my brother, I can't stand to imagine it could be the same for someone else.  
  
I'll tell Dumbledore then... But not right now. I need to talk to my brother first, maybe there's a chance he'll wake up or something. Alex said at last, promising he would go for help. Remus tried to smile encouragingly, and he placed his queen in position to be taken.  
  
It'll work out, don't worry.  
  
  
  
Are you sure this is safe? Peter asked for what seemed to be the hundredth time.  
  
Or legal for that fact? Remus added. For once, once in a rare moon, he was sharing Peter's paranoid anxiety.  
  
I'm sure it's legal. James said with an annoyed roll of his eyes.   
  
And it's safe as long as Peter stays away from the cauldron. You too Moony... Sirius added, watching the smaller boy step back from the boiling potion. They had taken up residence in the Prefects bathroom, since it was out of commission due to their latest bombing spree, and, more importantly, because it was very large and luxurious.  
  
Actually, I doubt this is legal at all. Remus mumbled, picking up one of the potion books that lay scattered about the room.  
  
Who cares? Sirius asked rhetorically, dropping a poorly estimated amount of powdered salamander claw into the brew. Green slime bubbled over the edge, snapping violently and secreting a foul odor, though he calmly kicked it along towards the drain.  
  
The Ministry might. Do you have any idea how many illegal ingredients you guys stole... Er, borrowed?  
  
Er, six? James tried. Another bubble exploded, and he had to wipe his glasses vigorously for a while afterwards to remove the mess.  
  
Peter corrected, doing a brief count of the vials sitting on a bench nearby.  
  
Actually, fourteen. I nabbed a Chimera claw today while Peter was spilling boiled armadillo mucus all over the counter. Sirius added.  
  
Remus shook his head, smiling in amusement.  
  
Only three more detentions. Peter whined several minutes later.  
  
  
  
Three more till we hit the Big O. Sirius and James said in unison.  
  
Big O?  
  
they exclaimed in delight, Peter displaying the opposite.  
  
Remus said curiously.  
  
Since you joined up, and we became the Marauders, we've allotted nine hundred and ninety-seven detentions. James said with an air of great pride.  
  
Our greatest achievement... Only three more detentions, and we shall set a record none shall dare to break! Sirius declared. One thousand detentions... My proudest hour will be when I march into whatever classroom to perform whatever meager task of slavery.  
  
You are one twisted prat. Peter said, backing away sharply before he would be thrown into the pool-sized bathtub.  
  
Why thank you. Sirius smirked.  
  
Er, Padfoot?  
  
  
  
You do realise the cauldron is overflowing, don't you?  
  
Sirius looked at his shoes, the leather of which was easily being burnt through by the spilt acid of their potion. After cursing extensively, he hopped around like a madman, trying to remove his shoes.  
  
With a grin, Remus shoved him into the bath. The acid fizzed for a second, and Sirius smiled like the devil had possessed him.  
  
You're in for it now Moony! Get back here! he demanded, jumping out of the water and shaking his shaggy hair like a dog. Come on, Moony needs bath too!  
  
Just for the sake of entertainment, James casually knocked Peter into the water as well, before being dragged down by Remus.  
  
Hey, come on Prongs, we need to finish that potion! Sirius gasped, surfacing for a breath of air before being shoved back under in a splash.  
  
No we don't, Pete's the only one who needs the damn thing. Stupid git can't transform quick enough... Ah! Peter, cut that out!  
  
  
  
He should be here in five minutes. James whispered, snickering slightly as he slipped under the Cloak.  
  
No, he's talking to Garrison on the third floor. Remus pointed out, finger trailing over the little dot on the map.  
  
Damn, Sirius will be to early then...  
  
Run back and get him then.  
  
Not enough time. James muttered, looking around angrily. He spotted Peter hiding away behind a tapestry, and quickly consulted him. A second later, a stubby rat was shoved into the hall, and it scampered off in a hurry.  
  
He should be able to get there... This better work.  
  
Even if it fails we'll have another number to your grand tally. Remus said.  
  
But they have to _count_.  
  
If you say so-  
  
Shh- He's coming!  
  
Remus paused, and sniffed the air, trying to catch onto the scent.  
  
That isn't Snape. he confirmed, looking at the Map. But... Prongs, why isn't it labeled?  
  
That's odd. James whispered to himself, face scrunched up in confusion.  
  
Maybe the Map is having difficulties recovering from Sirius' last escape in the dungeons.  
  
No, it shouldn't be doing this. We have _everyone_ included on the list, it's impossible for anyone to not show up. James snapped to himself. What is _wrong_ with this blasted thing?  
  
Remus again sniffed the air, and what he realised formed a little click' in the back of his mind. Like a completed circuit, he smiled in understanding.  
  
Nothing's wrong with your bloody map James Potter.  
  
Remus snickered again as Lily stormed into their hiding place, her face showing she was far from pleased.  
  
So _this_ is how you always turn up wherever I am? she snapped. This is how you conveniently find your way and pester me every time I'm in the _showers_? Lily shrieked, face flustered.  
  
Remus had to try very hard not to laugh, for he didn't feel like facing the wrath of a violated Slytherin girl. He chose to bite on the corner of his hand for safety, backing up some distance as Lily closed in on her prey.  
  
  
  
Don't you say anything. Lily interrupted. You've been spying on me! How _dare_ you!  
  
Lils, please, you-  
  
I don't get it, no? she said, emerald eyes glinting black. She was frowning to such an extent James was now frowning, fearful of how his girlfriend would inevitably injure him.   
  
Lily, I'm sorry. he managed to squeak in between her fits of anger. She stopped dead, and stared.  
  
I shouldn't have been checking up on you, but you know, you're dead gorgeous. If any guy came near you I wanted to know so I could wring the little wankers neck. James said, wiping his glasses on his robes as he always did when he was nervous. I didn't really mean to _spy_ on you, you know.  
  
  
  
You've got all reason to be angry, yeah. he continued. And I'll remember that. I guess I'll just have to be more trusting, right?  
  
For a moment, both Gryffindors thought Lily was going to yell again, scolding the both of them for the capabilities of the Map. In an unexpected display of forgiveness, she took a step forward, and instead hugged James.  
  
Remus smirked to himself, chuckling deep in his throat. James looked shocked, as he had been bracing to be slapped again, part of the reason he had removed his glasses. After a brief moment to realised things had apparently gone well, he returned the embrace with a shrug to Remus.  
  
Er, hate to break up the moment... It's terribly touching and all, but Snape's coming. Remus informed.  
  
Lily perked up, and smiled in a mixed way. It was one of those disapproving but interested grins that only a Slytherin could muster.  
  
  
  
Getting even for something he did to Moony. A couple things, actually.  
  
That, and they want to test out a new Itching Charm they've altered. Remus added.  
  
Well, I might as well stick about. I came all this way to tell you off, now I have nothing to do. Lily mused.  
  
  
Look at this. Sirius said, dropping his mop. Professor McGonnagal had found the lot shortly after Snape had been induced with the effects of a highly potent Itching Charm (that still remained to be lifted, James bragged). Consequentially, Lily and the the Marauders had been sentenced to clean all the staff offices one by one, a gruesome job that involved filing papers correctly and yet disturbing anything at all.  
  
Remus set aside his pile of third-year essays, and carefully stepped over stacks of boxes Lily had set around the room.  
  
What is it? he inquired, watching briefly out of the corner of his eye as Lily and James disappeared to a broom closet.  
  
Dunno, it's from the Ministry though. Sirius said, expertly breaking the seal without disturbing the thick envelope. He pried out the letter, and unfolded it quickly.  
  
Whoa, that's... Horrible... Sirius murmured, shaking his head solemnly. He propped himself up on the desk, cringing as he continued to read.  
  
Here, take a look. he finally said, handing over the parchment.  
  
_To Celia Horder,  
Auror, Fourth Class  
Newheart Division Seven  
Stationed Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry  
  
Celia, it's Dean. I know this is a bad time to have to tell you, but you need to know and I can't put it off any longer. To be short, Andrew's entire squad is dead. We found their bodies, or what's left of them, during a raid north of London, in the Burnout area. If you want to come and identify some, we could sure as hell use you're help. I don't have the qualifications to sign the death certificates or officially determine what needs done. I'm sorry it has to be you, but there isn't anyone else who knew them well enough for legalities to pass. Unspeakables aren't allowed to work with this type of situation.  
I could use you down here Saturday if you can manage it. McPhearson's squad came in last night, and half of them are dead or otherwise. It's a nightmare in our Department. Boss is too damn stubborn to admit we're not going to able to fight this any longer without calling in a draft, and you know how opposed to that he is. I have a sick feeling you'll be doing field work' soon enough, much to my disgust. I pray to God this thing ends before anyone else goes through what we are. The Dark Arts Department is saying that if another hostage situation goes underway, we wont be able to do anything about it. We've got enough on our hands with the werewolf plague to worry about terrorist negotiations.  
On another note, we got your sister's analysis back. Regulation wont allow me tell you now, but dammit, this is getting out of hand. They're connected with Andrew's lot, I'm almost dead certain about that. Seriously, just get down here, I don't want to lose my job telling you now.  
  
And remember, I'm here if you need me, even though I know it's futile trying to wedge some support to you. Count your blessings Celia,  
  
Dean Callahan  
Auror, First Class  
Defense/Security Department  
Office 93012, Section B  
British Ministry of Magic International  
  
  
_We shouldn't be reading this. Remus said to himself, folding it up. Sirius seemed not to have heard, as he was eagerly working on another envelope on Ms. Horder's desk.  
  
Come on Padfoot, this isn't our business.  
  
Awe, you're no fun! Come on, just one more, then-  
  
Finish mopping the floor. Remus snapped, thrusting the mop into his friends' hands. Sirius grumbled for a minute, and reluctantly set down the letter after Remus glared once more. It was only two days until the full moon, and he had since learned it wasn't a good idea to annoy him at night during so close a phase.  
  
You take all the fun out of detentions, you know that? he said, sloshing his mop around in a bucket of murky water thoughtfully.  
  
Yes, well, you have my damn morals to blame. My restrictions on blackmailing the emotionally traumatized do limit your revelry, I take?  
  
Sirius said quietly. He stopped scrubbing at the floor, and looked around suddenly.  
  
Where are Prongs and Lily?  
  
Remus snickered to himself again as Sirius made a mixed face of pride and disgust.  
  
  
  
_Dad says we should call you Uncle again. So I will. I hope schools good for you, dad says I can go someday maybe. I hope so. It sounds fun. Jason wants to say hi too. Well we have to go. Dads making dinner. I hope it isnt hamburgers, there really gross. Bye Remis.  
  
Corey  
  
_Remus smiled in an odd way. It was the first time he had seen them officially call Caleb dad', and it was funny to him. Caleb was no more capable of raising children than he was, and that wasn't saying very much.  
  
Hey, Moony... Pash th' g'lic saush,   
  
We need to get down. James pointed out, snatching a spoonful of the topping as it was passed in front of him. It's getting close to dark.  
**  
**Remus looked up at the ceiling which reflected the sky outside. Already the sun was glowing towards the edge behind grey clouds, hanging on barely as the darkness began to show itself. With a dreadful sigh, he nodded his head.  
  
Chipper up there Moony. Sirius said, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. I found a new place for us to haunt.  
  
Count me out. Peter interrupted, shutting another one of his many books.   
  
Little twit. Sirius growled.  
  
Egotistical prat-  
  
  
  
Filthy git-  
  
Will both of you just SHUT UP? James yelled. The pair stopped bickering, and the neighboring tables turned to stare.  
  
Thank you. he said, scowling slightly at those who were glaring at him.  
  
I'm going back to the Gryffindor Tower for a few minutes. Remus announced quietly, slipping out of his chair.  
  
Alright, we'll meet you outside. Sirius said in a short breath as Remus inconspicuously made way back to the dormitories.  
  
Stupid curse. he told no one in particular. The wolf as beginning to taunt him again. Quickening pace, he turned a corner, fighting his own mind to stay out.  
  
Stop it. he whispered, stopping momentarily. It had been a while since the wolf had been so strong, so desperate to claim his body. Leave me alone...  
  
  
_Hello. What's your name?  
  
I'm Geoffrey. You?  
  
Name's Remus Lupin. he said brightly, hopping onto the swing. After one short kick, he was swinging higher than the other boy.  
  
he said shortly, looking away. I'm not s'posed to play with you. he announced.  
  
Why not? Remus asked.  
  
My mum says your sick.  
  
S'not con... Con... Con-tag-e-ous. he said with some difficulty, trying to remember what his mother had told him. And I'm not really sick. Only every now n then. Remus shrugged, trying to smile hopefully. It wasn't often that he found a boy his age who didn't have a mother around to whisper and pull their child away.  
  
Geoffrey said. He looked around, supposedly for his parents, and he too shrugged. Dunno if I should stay, my mum told me not to play with you. he repeated.  
  
Just cause I'm sick every once in a while?  
  
I guess.  
  
That's dumb. Remus declared.  
  
Yeah, I reckon... Parents are pretty dumb sometimes. he said with a concealed giggle, delighted to freely speak ill of his elders.  
  
Yeah. Lots'a parents don't like me. Dunno why, but my brother says it's cause of, well, cause I was bitten by a wolf. I don't really understand. he muttered, swinging higher and higher, the chains of the play set rattling with each thrust.  
  
  
  
Both boys turned to see who had shrieked, and were confronted by a disgruntled mother in her middle thirties. She yelled again, pulling her son down off the swings.  
  
I told you to never come near that... That... That _thing_! she hissed, pointing at Remus as though he were a diseased creature. Come home, right now young man!  
  
But ma', he didn't do anythin', we were just swinging and-  
  
NOW Geoffrey. she spat, pushing her son along towards the col de sac. She turned sharply, and presented the frightened little eight year old with a glare that could make a grown man wince.  
  
Don't you _dare_ come near my son again! You leave my family alone, you filthy beast. You're parents should have put you down.  
  
Black robes billowing out behind her, the enraged mother stormed off, yelling at her son up ahead.  
  
Cold hands clutched at the chains, as tightly as the lips that remained shut.  
  
he whispered, again not understanding the hatred he received for only being himself.  
  
  
_Leave me alone! Remus snapped again, holding at his head.  
  
Are you alright?  
  
Peering through rapidly fogging eyes, Remus swallowed tightly. Snape. Goody.  
  
he growled.  
  
Snape returned, offering an arm. Rather reluctantly, Remus accepted the gesture and was pulled to his feet.  
  
The moon rises early tonight, though I doubt you pay an ounce of attention in Astronomy with Potter and Black there. You'd be best to start listening. he advised.  
  
Yeah, thanks.  
  
Where are those invalids you call friends, anyway? I always see you lot around this time, prancing about like a bunch of drunken fools. Not to imply that you don't always appear as such, but I find it amusing that they abandon you.  
  
We weren't aware of the early rise. Remus snapped, despite how hard he tried to contain the bitterness. he added.  
  
Snape looked briefly at his watch, and shrugged once. You'd be wise to leave soon, less you favour devouring me. On second thought, please do leave. I don't fancy myself the meal of a lunatic.  
  
Oh _very_ funny. Like I haven't heard that one before.  
  
  
  
Well, the Call of the Prats beckons you. I'll be off before I'm spotted being decent in your presence. Snape said with a mocking bow.  
  
I'll never understand you. Remus said loudly. I thought you couldn't stand me.  
  
The Slytherin turned around, displaying his famous scowl.  
  
You doubt my hatred? Such a fool you are, Lupin. I merely wish to harass you when you're weak.  
  
That would explain it. Remus said with a small smile.  
  
Yes. Well, have a wonderful evening. Try not to kill off the Forbidden Forest.  
  
Thanks for the encouraging advice. Remus chuckled.  
  
I figured such.  
  
What the hell did he want? Sirius growled as he skid to a halt.  
  
Sending casual death threats, nothing out of the ordinary. Remus said simple. he shrugged once, and went off to face the night in company of his friends.  
  
  
**A/n- Well, ANOTHER down. ::Sigh:: We had a discussion in Lit. class on how writers are prone to insanity and suicide. Everyone just kind of glared at me for a while with these accusing beady eyes... It was quite disturbing. I need to end this, no? I fear I'll lose my mind. ::muse reminds her it's _far_ to late for that:: ::Iggie sighs, and shrugs:: Well, thanks for all the support everyone! o_O  
  
**Iggie  
  
**Fic of the Day- Those You Left To Fall by Gerri:** _GO READ IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_ Did I make that clear enough? Well, I am SUCH a freakin' Slytherin Sympathizer and war philosopher that this fic simply made my day. Harry And Draco meet on the battlefield at the subtle age of 17, and have a few views to share. Oh, it is SO deliciously evil! No slash, all fun. It may seem a tad skip-worthy starting off, but PLEASE, if anything, just read the ending pages!**  
  
Terra-** Thanks for the Grammar Alert! I simply love knowing when I'm being literally challenged. Do point them out, if you notice. :)  
  
**laure- **I hope your flute solo went well! I've had my fair share of public screw ups... I empathize. Really. Well, cheers, and happy flute-ing!


	52. Part LII Rustic Planes

A/n- Sorry I've been slow. School's been a complete bitch to me, and I'm in the middle of a mental crisis. Many pardons.  
  
Disclaimer- WHEN THE BLOODY WILL WE GET THE NEXT BOOK? Sorry, had to burst. I own nothing. The LAME ASS MORONS working at the publishers UNFORTUNATELY own it all. ::grumbles::  
  
Rating- PG-13 for my infamous foul mouth that I'm trying to cap a bit.  
  
Note- Sorry if it's a grammatical disaster, I'm too depressed and lazy to edit. :-/ ... ... ... ... ... ...  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LII - Rustic Planes  
  
  
  
He shut his eyes, trying to block out the early rays of sun leaking through a hole in the wall, one produced by Prong's antlers months before. It was too painful to face the day yet.  
  
Moony, are you up yet? Sirius said gently from behind the door.  
  
We have to get going. James added in a low voice, knowing all Remus' senses would be in overdrive so soon after the transformation.  
  
he grumbled, trying to push himself up from the ground. The door creaked open, and the two entered cautiously.  
  
Here, Peter though you'd need a new one. James offered a spare cloak of his own. He helped to tear away the battered one, ridden with blood streaks and bite marks.  
  
Remus struggled to button it with his partially unformed hands, and decided just to hold it together.  
  
  
  
He accepted the two shoulders, and with some difficulty, hobbled over to the bed in the Shack.  
  
Do either of you have any food, by chance? he asked a moment later, breaking the silence. James shrugged, and Sirius began to rummage through his expansive pockets.  
  
I've got... he started, dumping Dungbombs and firecrackers onto a nailed-down table. Some peppermints. Oh, wait, those aren't _real_ candy.  
  
Here, beef jerky. James proclaimed, tossing over a wrapped piece.  
  
Shamelessly he ravaged the bit of meat, unable to contain himself. The two chuckled, and smiled in amusement.  
  
Pomfrey's coming. Remus announced after gnawing away at the last speck of beef. Sirius' nose twitched, and he cursed lightly.  
  
Well, see you at breakfast then.  
  
James yawned.   
  
Remus nodded, and licked the last remains of the meat off his fingers in a slurp.  
  
  
  
You don't look very well. Alex observed, pursing his lips in thought.  
  
Same for you. Remus replied honestly. He had bags under his reddened eyes, and he looked as though he hadn't slept in quite a few days.  
  
Had to sort some things out. he mumbled quietly. Me and Dumbledore...   
  
Remus nodded in understanding, and he decided to mind his own business.  
  
When's our next game? he asked James after piling down a bowl of cereal.  
  
Day after next.  
  
  
  
We could always set the pitch on fire.  
  
Not necessary. Remus assured with a smile.  
  
Ah, nut. Sirius mumbled. Well, a fat lot of help that does for us then. Wait a minute, plan just snapped to mind. I'll be off. he said shortly, dashing away before James could join in. He snapped his fingers in disappointment, and shrugged.  
  
For reasons he didn't know, Remus found himself staring up at the head table.   
  
Dumbledore, old and smiling, reading the newspaper in complete denial of the headlines. McGonnagal, nervously telling off two Hufflepuffs flinging food at one another. He looked past the Divination Professor, Professor Forson, the Herbology instructor arguing with the Astronomy Master, and then understood why he had been prone to gaze up.  
  
Miss Horder's seat was empty.  
  
That's funny, she _never_ misses a meal. James said, following his stare.  
  
Wonder where she went. Remus mumbled, looking around to see if she was anywhere.  
  
_Please, God no!  
  
Stupid girl, be quiet-  
  
NO! ANDREW!  
  
I said be quiet you foolish little girl!  
  
_Moony, hello? Moony!  
  
Remus blinked, and shook his head.  
  
he said, swallowing the lump in his throat. James raised an eyebrow, and peered oddly at him.  
  
You look like you just saw a ghost.  
  
Maybe I did. he concluded, and stood up. Excuse me...  
  
Remus shoved away from the Gryffindor table, past all the sneers from his enemies, and presented himself in front of Dumbledore. For a moment the old man wouldn't be distracted from his morning read, though a quick clear of the throat gained his attention.  
  
Is everything alright, Mr. Lupin? You look dreadful.  
  
Do you happen to know where Ms. Horder went this morning? Remus asked, keeping his obvious concern hidden. I noticed she isn't here.  
  
I believe she went to visit an ill friend... Dumbledore trailed off, and frowned. Did you happen to See something out of the ordinary? he questioned, wording the phrase so any overhearing Professor's wouldn't understand its meaning.  
  
Remus nodded slightly, and bit his lip.  
  
Here, come to my office. I need to go over a few things with you. the Headmaster declared, standing up gracefully, though in an urgent fashion. It was something only one accustomed to trouble and the desire to calm others could manage.  
  
Yes sir.  
  
  
They walked silently through the halls, Dumbledore taking a passage that he knew only appeared every other Wednesday. After a brief discussion with a painting, and the murmur of a password to the gargoyle, they were seated in his circular office. Images of previous Headmasters blinked lazily at Remus, and decided he was of no interest.   
  
Immediately, Fawkes took a few steps away on his perch. Dumbledore looked at his pet for a second, and shrugged slightly when he disappeared in a puff of fiery plumage.  
  
Now, what do you believe happened to our young Defense instructor? he asked calmly, folding his hands atop the messy desk.  
  
I, erm, I heard her. Remus started, trying to recall the very blurry nightmare. She was yelling, and I saw her crouched down, I think she was holding something. he said. He shut his eyes, and nodded in confirmation.  
  
There was another man, he had a deep voice, kind of tall. He was demanding that she stop whining, to be quiet. Nervously, in concentration, he scratched at his head, trying to flatten it down.  
  
Dumbledore smiled in a fashion to calm him down, and nodded his head. What were the exact words?  
  
Again he closed his eyes, blocking out reality for a moment, In reverse, he recalled the sounds, the images, a flash of light.  
  
Be quiet, stupid girl.' he recited. She yelled out again, something about... Sir?  
  
he inquired, blue eyes shining behind a crooked nose.  
  
I know from before that she had a, er, friend, named Andrew. Did he die?  
  
Dumbledore frowned, and let out a long, desolate sigh. I do not know. He was an Auror, and as far as I could guess they were extremely close. He was taken hostage, and the Ministry refused to meet the demands.  
  
Remus nodded, remembering past experiences that had before seemed distant.  
  
She called out his name before I lost the image. he finished. She's in trouble. Or, she was.  
  
Do you think it was a Vision of what is to come, or merely a replay?  
  
I can't honestly say.  
  
Dumbledore uncrossed his hands, and pushed himself upright.  
  
Is there anything else you saw that might be of assistance? I'm going to see to this myself, assuming the Ministry doesn't wish to be involved. They're in utter denial that we're facing another war.  
  
I saw a flash of light. It wasn't green though, sir. More like metal.  
  
I'll look into that, thank you Remus. You'd best get back to breakfast, I have a lot to take care of.  
  
Nodding absently, Remus made his way back for the Great Hall, wondering what exactly was going on.  
  
_Maybe that will teach you to mess with us.  
  
_  
  
YES! Free period! James shouted, punching the air triumphantly.  
  
You know what that means. Peter snapped to no one in particular, hiding himself behind a book.  
  
Sirius and James shared one of their infamous grins, eyes glittering dangerously. It was the type of mischievous glint that would send most of the Hogwarts staff running out of shear frustration, or in fear of bodily harm. Usually they came hand in hand where the Marauders were concerned.  
  
You're determined to make this prank the one big one, aren't you? Remus asked rhetorically. And moreover, determined to get yourselves expelled.  
  
Probably close to the truth. Actually, no. Second thought, we had too high of O.W.L.'s for them to give us the boot. Sirius decided. At least, I don't think that lot would expel us...  
  
You underestimate their tolerance. Peter piped.  
  
And we overestimated your intelligence. Bugger off you stupid prat-  
  
Leave him alone Padfoot. said James with a hint of vexation. Now, back to the Grand Master Plan. He rubbed his hands together in anticipation, and disappeared through a corridor, Peter going in the opposite direction very quickly.  
  
Remus looked around distantly, wondering what to do now that his friends were preoccupied. Lily was surely off with some of her female companions, and he knew for fact that Alex would refuse any offers to socialize for another week still.  
  
Great, there is absolutely nothing to do. he declared, kicking at the ground as he dragged his feet along. A few steps and a wrong turn later, he smacked into something tall and hard.  
  
Watch where you lurk. Snape said angrily, getting back to his feet.  
  
I wasn't _lurking_.  
  
That's all you and your lot of friends do, lurk about and torment my House.  
  
They deserve it sometimes. Remus said distantly.  
  
You worry about Avery... Well, commends for you Lupin, you actually figured something out on your own.  
  
Bugger off.  
  
And ruin this perfect opportunity to taunt you while no teachers are about? You take me for a fool.  
  
You are a fool. Remus reminded without a smile.  
  
I'm rather surprised you and your cronies haven't rushed off to the Avery's place and decided to tell them off. You gits are brave, and loyal. Stupid as hell yes, but damned to hell with bravery.  
  
I'll take that as a compliment. Remus said lightly, looking around for something to do or somewhere to go.  
  
Do you want something? he asked after noticing Snape wasn't walking away.  
  
Keep an eye on Avery for me.  
  
  
  
You wouldn't understand. Snape said, shrugging slightly. He wont have a lot of time left to be happy, I was just figuring he might get desperate.  
  
What the hell do you mean?  
  
Rolling his eyes, Snape turned away, his sleek black robes rippling behind him.   
  
Just forget it.  
  
  
  
He turned around, expecting to find Snape back t pester him some more, only to find Professor Forson.  
  
What the hell did I do now? he wondered quietly.  
  
Lupin, er...  
  
This is new, he thought. The Potions Master was, for a rare occurrence, not glaring at him with intent loathing. He looked genuinely concerned about something.  
  
Can I speak with you?  
  
I'm here, aren't I? Remus asked sarcastically, not quite sure how to determine the situation.  
  
  
  
He turned his head, and back, finding no one in the halls. Waving his arm to indicate such, Remus raised an eyebrow. We are.  
  
Office, now.  
  
Rolling his eyes behind the mans back, the bored Gryffindor deftly followed through a series of long passages and curving tunnels.  
  
You know, I believe Sirius was right. he mused out loud with a smirk. It _is_ a cosmic law that all the Potions professors enjoy places where light may never find.  
  
Sit down. Forson said in a stiff voice as he opened his office.  
  
And to what do I owe the pleasure of being here?  
  
Cut it. he interrupted rather snidely. I'm not here to play your little games of pride and ridicule. I need you help.  
  
Remus was now interested. Rare indeed to find a Slytherin Head of House requesting assistance from a student, Gryffindor at that.  
  
What can I possibly help you with? You know better than anyone I'm a wreck at potions-  
  
Dumbledore wont say it, but I damn well know you have the Sight. he said bluntly, dark eyes narrowing. Far be it from me to be in emotional distress...  
  
I don't know where she is. Remus finished. His sarcasm faded, his childish smirks flickered away, and he nodded seriously. I would have come forward if I could have offered anything else.  
  
You know more than anyone, more than those damn friends of yours. I know what the hell that foolish girl is doing, but I need there where and why. And who. he sputtered angrily, though his rage wasn't directed at anything in particular. You know at least one of those. I highly doubt your illustrious career of eavesdropping and spying would reveal anything less.  
  
With a slight pause to collect himself, Remus shut his eyes. Pushing away his anxiety, his fears, and concerns, he let himself drift to another conscious state. His security zone, where the hateful words of strangers couldn't be heard, and the pains of the wolf didn't exist.  
  
Her, well, that Andrew fellow. He was killed or whatnot... Remus remembered, mumbling distantly as he tried to recall anything useful.   
  
Dean Callahan, an Unspeakable she's close with. He should know. he snapped suddenly. He made a mental note to thank Sirius for prying in other peoples' business.  
  
Dean was murdered last night.  
  
At seven? Remus wondered for reasons he couldn't explain.  
  
He didn't see Forson's look of mild shock.  
  
Then she's after whoever killed him. he concluded. Two of her closest friends down around the same time, a personal injury to her pride. There's no way in hell she isn't thinking of anything but revenge. Remus said slowly as he focused back into reality.  
  
Forson literally jumped to his feet, and started for the door. He was only gone a few paces before Remus let a sigh escape, and stood.  
  
WHERE THE HELL IS HE? I'LL KNOCK HIS HEAD OFF!  
  
He only had time to blink in bewilderment before he was tackled against the ground.  
  
James, come on! Sirius yelled in the background. Geroff, I said gerOFF!  
  
Arms barely restraining him, Sirius rammed his own head against his friends.  
  
Look around you dolt, she isn't here. he barked, scowling.   
  
James, red-faced and passionate about God knows what, pursed his lips. He uttered something incomprehensible, and ran out of the room.  
  
I don't even want to know. Remus interrupted before Sirius opened his mouth in explanation. I do _not_ want to know.  
  
  
So what the hell were you doing in there anyway? Sirius asked a while later. Remus was busy staring at the wall, intrigued with one eye seeing vibrant colour, the other locked on greys and whites.  
  
Forson needed some help with a little far-Sighting. he said simply.  
  
Sirius, who wished to leave his ego intact, nodded as if he understood what was said.  
  
So what was with James rushing in like some barking-made dragon?  
  
Thought you didn't want to know. Sirius teased.  
  
He did rightly pound me to the floor, I'd at least like to know what id di to cause such a foul temper. This is Prongs though, maybe there is no reason on second thought.  
  
Sirius mumbled with a slight grin. You see, Lily was missing, and you never came back... Since you didn't show up on the Map-  
  
Oh God, he didn't! Remus laughed.  
  
Considering years past-and you _know_ how jealous Prongs is, honestly, he could give a thirteen year old girl a run for her money-he just assumed... Sirius trailed off, unable to restrain his amusement. The pair chuckled for a good while before winding down to a few scattered chortles.  
  
How could he even begin to think I'd be off in a closet with his girlfriend? I'm not that shallow, am I? Remus finally asked, frowning slightly.  
  
Don't mind him, he's just territorial. Hormonal little git of a Seeker when he's worried about Lils. Sirius shrugged.  
  
How do you explain the rest of the time then?  
  
An excellent point.  
  
  
  
  
Is there a party I wasn't invited to? Sirius asked, poking Alex in the side. he twirled his finger in the direction of the head table.  
  
'O n ish he explained, mouth dripping with oatmeal. A group of passing girls made disgusted faces at him. In recovery and hopes of a date, he quickly swallowed and waved after them.  
  
Party, what? James snapped, looking around wildly with a stupid grin.  
  
he observed, squinting as he had misplaced his glasses. Where's that slime ball of a Potions instructor?   
  
No way, he's gone? Sirius spluttered. This is cause for celebration! he declared, standing up in his seat.  
  
Remus and James pulled him down half a second later.  
  
Definitely not reason to celebrate. Remus said bitterly, choking on his own voice. He pointed upwards, where the last of the owls were fluttering in with grim news. Sirius snatched a _Daily Prophet_ from a local second-year and gapped.  
  
No way...  
  
Remus sighed. She could rightly be dead for all we know, and Dumbledore's gone...  
  
They can have Forson. James interjected. But if they take Horder I'll boycott the bloody school. I have to have one class to look forward to. he mumbled.  
  
No Prongs, you mean look _at_. Sirius corrected with a small grin. One class to look _at_.  
  
Same thing. he growled, tossing the grim headlines away before he became too engrossed in the dwindling coals of war.  
  
I hate life. Alex said angrily, dropping his elbows on the table remorsefully.   
  
Chipper up mate. Sirius said, slinging an arm around his shoulders. Alex tried to slip away, to little success. Thing's can only get better, you know?  
  
No, I don't.  
  
Dear God, if you're there, pull the world through this one. Remus muttered with his eyes shut tight. This is definitely not a time for you to give up hope on Man.  
  
  
Glancing at his friends, his peers, all around, he clasped his hands in his first true prayer.  
  
Save those who are innocent, be it expense for those such as I.  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Another down, another down. ::sighs:: I've been having a really rough month, as always. Anyway... Expect another posting pretty soon unless by some rare chance of event I get to take a short vacation for the Thanksgiving weekend. Yeah, fat chance at that...  
  
**Iggie  
  
**Fic of the Day- Sins of the Father by Vada: **Lucius Malfoy is on trial during the ongoing war. He muses of the Malfoy family, the Ministry, his life and good and evil... Come on folks, it's good ol' Death Eater Drama. :) Go check it out.  
  
  
Do I even need to remind you all to review anymore? I think it's just that you're so nice.... I HOPE!! %@$#


	53. Part LIII Deny Thy Truth

A/n- Uhg... I have an unhealthy obsession now, this fic is making me so insane. ::muses remind Iggie that Iggie is already insane:: ::Iggie slaps away her muses:: On with the time-consuming story!  
  
Disclaimer- I trust that after 52 chapters you KNOW who owns Harry Potter.  
  
Rating- PG-13 for some very angry Professors...  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LIII - Deny Thy Truth  
  
  
  
  
_BOURNEMOUTH UNDER SIEGE: HOSTAGES TAKEN, MINISTRY UNRESPONSIVE  
  
_Remus threw the paper aside, the headline telling him more than enough.  
  
Nice government we have there, isn't it? Sirius mumbled sarcastically, stabbing his breakfast sausage. Bloody prats don't even move an inch to try and help out. Bunch of bastards.  
  
Black, Potter, you're due in detention now. Professor McGonnagal reminded as she went by. She paused, and shook her head with a sigh of disapproval. Remus had the small thought that she was beginning to regret becoming an instructor.  
  
Can't it wait? James mumbled, looking distantly across the Hall at Lily.  
  
was the firm answer. As neither boy made any motion, she flicked her wand twice, and they rose a few feet off of their seats.  
  
Sirius protested before being whisked out of the Great Hall to the amusement of the students. James followed soon after.  
  
Spoiled little deliquentients. she said under her breath as she made way to the Head Table.  
  
She didn't make it very far, though.  
  
Scrambling to his feet, Remus caught Ms. Horder before she hit the ground.  
  
He looked hopelessly at Dumbledore, waiting for an answer or some help. All he got was an expected sort of smile and a wave of hand.  
  
Get off me. she said weakly, trying to push away from the support. He sat her down against the wall, motioning for Alex to keep the crowd back.  
  
Good show Lupin, you actually did help. Forson said with a slight smileas he shoved through the throng of students.  
  
Is she alright? he asked in a half-voice, the words catching in his throat. Professor Forson told off any staff member who tried to shove Remus away. In the back of his mind, some forced respect allowed him to stay.  
  
She'll live. he said tightly, yelling out for someone to fetch Madame Pomfrey. Not happily though... For whatever reason, she's been refusing to let me help her since I went in to get her. Rather ungrateful I'd say, but what can a man do? At least she's well.  
  
Taking in a ragged breath, Remus momentarily doubted it. She was freely bleeding from more wounds than he could begin to estimate, and her entire body seemed bruised and broken.  
  
He isn't dead, I swear. she mumbled pathetically, coughing up a small amount of blood.  
  
In a protective manner, Forson thrust a hand behind her back, forcing her to lean forward. Another portion of blood came forward, and then her seizing subsided.  
  
Don't talk, don't move. he ordered monotonously. Lupin, go get Pomfrey. I'm sure you can make it there faster than these needle-minded idiots that can't seem to do anything but gawk. he added, not looking up. Remus nodded to himself, and ran immediately for the quickest passage he knew of.  
  
This means we don't have detention, doesn't it? he heard Sirius say as he dashed through the hall.  
  
  
  
  
  
_Remus,  
  
  
I heard one of your Professors was taken in with that rubbish going on in Bournemouth. What the hell is happening? Hogwarts is supposed to be safe. I'm starting to think you'd be better off just staying with us. Alright, shameless begging, I know. It was a cheap shot, but the runts keep asking when you're going to come stay here permanently. Maybe that'll be decent insensitive for you.  
  
Caleb  
  
PS- If you can spare the detention time, knick echincea leaf. We're fresh out and our local doctor could use a bit for Pepper-up Potions. Thanks.  
  
  
_Hey Prongs, where would I find echincea leaf? Remus yelled. The Common Room was bustling with noise in preparation for the Quidditch game in half an hour, making it impossible to uphold a normal conversation.  
  
  
  
Echincea leaf! he yelled again, cupping his hands. What dungeon?  
  
No clue! James shouted, shrugging in case his friend didn't quite hear the message.   
  
Remus rolled his eyes, and shoved his way through the pack of Gryffindors to the portal.  
  
Moony, we have a game in-  
  
I know, I'll be back. he snapped before Sirius could finish his sentence. I just need to take care of something before I forget.  
  
If you're not in the locker rooms ten minutes before the match I'll come after you. Sirius said with a grin, tapping his nose. Nothing escapes Padfoot!  
  
Not unless he gets sidetracked going past the kitchens. Remus laughed, ducking through the portrait.  
  
  
  
Echincea... No, that's boromill root. Ah, there it-no, hogplant. God, where the hell is the echincea? he cursed, pushing vials aside on the shelf. A large bottle of gecko fluid crashed to the ground, shattering on impact.  
  
he muttered, looking around wildly. His criminal record was bad enough as it was, getting caught stealing a Class-B ingredient wouldn't roll over well, he thought.  
  
Who's there?  
  
Ms. Horder? Remus accidentally blurted out.  
  
Lupin? What are you doing down here? she asked quietly, stepping out of the office in the corner. She frowned down at him, kneeling at the ground attempting to clean his mess.  
  
Stealing. And you? he asked casually, smiling slightly.  
  
Guilty as same. I'm a runaway from the Infirmary and this is the only remote dungeon Poppy won't dare set foot in.  
  
Yeah, afraid of rats. Remus said offhand. The last time she had seen Peter, or Wormtail...  
  
Any idea where the echinea leaves are? she asked idly, browsing through the labels on a far cabinet.  
  
That's what I'm here for. Remus snorted. Been here ten minutes and I can't find a trace of it.  
  
Oh well, I suppose Greg has some.  
  
Professor Forson?  
  
she said slowly. I was attempting to brew something on my own, but considering my lack of skill in that field, I'd say he'd be more than willing to help.  
  
Are you implying something? Remus questioned with an obvious grin. He was resisting the urge to ask her how she was feeling for fear that he'd be pinned to the ground, so he instead decided to pester her personal life, a much safer field.  
  
Don't you have a Quidditch game? she asked with a cough.  
  
Glancing at his watch, he let out a long string of four-letter words and jumped to his feet.  
  
Good luck. Ms. Horder said lightly, shaking her head as he dashed out of the room at a very inhuman pace.  
  
  
  
You alright?  
  
Does seeing triple constitute as alright? Sirius yelled, scowling at the Slytherin Beater who's bat had collided with his head.  
  
You're fine. Remus declared. Because if you're not, we loose the game.  
  
And if we loose the game I loose ten Galleons. James butted in as he came by.  
  
Barking mad. Sirius mumbled.  
  
Both of you are. Now get back in the game, the whistle's about to be blown.  
  
Thank you much, Oh-So-Concerned Captain-  
  
You're welcome. Remus cut in before Sirius had chance to be sarcastic again.  
  
  
And with the score at Gryffindor 50, Slytherin 70, we go to a time out. the announcer said dryly. The game had already elapsed over an hour and twenty minutes, and there had been little action in the past half hour.  
  
This is insane, we're never going to catch the Snitch if they keep smacking James around. Kayre protested.  
  
The whistles singled the end of the rest, and the team rose into the air, shouting at each other loudly.  
  
James, catch! Remus bellowed above the others, whipping his broom around sharply before he even started back for the goal posts. As the game had just begun again, the Seeker turned around in confusion.  
  
Startled, he wildly grabbed at the small object that Remus had smacked in his direction. In a whoop of joy, he held up the Snitch, rolling in the air on his broom as the rest of the players tried to decipher what had just happened.  
  
Sirius yelled out, punching the air in triumph. Way to go Moony!  
  
Just, just doing my-Ouch! he said, muffled beneath the mass of scarlet-clad players that surrounded him joyously.  
  
  
  
Damn, I always leave my bishop's open. Alex muttered to himself, shrugging slightly as his piece was taken.  
  
You aren't concentrating at all. Remus pointed out. He shook his head, and again took the pawn his opponent left open. And I can tell it isn't post-victory excitement.  
  
Yeah, I know.  
  
What's bothering you? he asked, telling himself it was rather rhetoric.  
  
School will be over soon. I don't want to go home...  
  
You could stay here, I'm sure Dumbledore would allow it. Remus suggested.   
  
They wouldn't let me...  
  
Tell your parents your doing some in-town work. Lie a little. he tried. Alex smiled faintly, and sort of glanced up.  
  
  
  
I didn't do-  
  
For not telling anyone. he interrupted, nodding his head. It's good to have someone to trust.  
  
No problem. Remus smiled, and let one of his knights be taken.  
  
He did a poor job of concealing his smile, Remus noted.   
  
Reassuring to know someone else's life is as complicated as mine.' he mused.  
  
  
  
Jesus, you'd think she'd let us off a little easy for a while. Sirius said, groaning painfully as he slumped against the wall. His back shifted, and everyone around could hear a little crack of bones sliding into place. Lily made a face, and walked away to join the other line.  
  
I rather expected she'd be just as difficult as ever. James offered. You know, I'll bet she was tortured.  
  
Remus bit his lip, and shrugged lightly. It's not really our business.  
  
Has that stopped us before? Sirius said, rolling his neck to relieve the ache.  
  
he admitted, shaking his head. If you pry though, she'll find out. Do you really want to face her wrath in closed quarters?  
  
Definitely not. James said firmly, ducking behind a few people in line to avoid his turn.  
  
Miss Horder, clad in Muggle jeans and a loose shirt, cocked her head sharply. Silently she beckoned James forward, glaring at him with all her might.  
  
You should've learned by now Potter. she said icily, sporting a very slight smile that was broken by a deep cut across her face. I don't tolerate cheating in this classroom.  
  
It's pointless though. James stated, looking up as he positioned himself for the duel. If we were facing someone intending to kill us, as you always say this class is preparation for, they wouldn't fight clean.  
  
She looked him over, peering as though trying to break the seal to his thoughts. It was uncomfortable to witness, even for the bystander. Clapping her hands together, she nodded, and pulled back her now ragged hair.  
  
Alright, you want to play without rules. she said with another malicious grin. I'm up for that. Only rule is that there are none.  
  
Wait a minute, you could kill me! James shouted, stepping back. The tone of his voice firmly indicated he wouldn't have put it past her, either.  
  
So? You said we're playing dirty.  
  
I'm just a student, I-  
  
So now you want to play clean? she asked, standing up tall and crossing her arms. Since Potter can't seem to make up his mind, how about we do it for him? Ms. Horder turned to face the two lines of Gryffindors and Slytherins against the wall, peering down at each person individually.  
  
Who thinks we should play with restrictions? Her voice was scarcely above a whisper, but in the deafening silence, it was heard as a bellow.  
  
No one dared to speak up.  
  
And what's the vote for free-brawling? she asked coyly.   
  
In unison, every witch and wizard raised their hand. With a disturbing smirk, she turned back to James, who was frozen in anger.  
  
See how quickly your closest friends will betray you? she asked smoothly.  
  
Even your enemies, who alone hold the deepest unspoken respect, she continued, waving her hand at the line of Slytherins. will not give a second thought turning on you. This is dark magic of another kind, dear students, one that I cannot teach the defense of.  
  
One by one, she looked into every set of eyes, reading their emotion.   
  
The truest friend will stab you in the back at mere mention of reward, or the slightest threat can turn a whole pack of comrades for your skin. Horder went on, and looked intently at Remus for a moment. The closest of kin will not even think twice to become the traitor. Friendships torn in a second, or over periods of secretive lies... She snapped her fingers, the sound cracking through the room. Several people jumped, and one girl let a squeal escape her pressed lips.  
  
You'll come to face a time when you have to choose between what is right, and what is safe. Keeping your loyalties and morals intact could easily cost you a life, or cause your loved ones to be taken away in some cruel, twisted game. Those who are too weak to withstand the pressure, they'll crack in an instant.  
  
Remus looked over at Sirius, some lingering dream fogging his mind.  
  
_Sirius, how could you? Lily and James, how could you betray them?  
  
_For those who have the courage to stand against the Dark, you're the strong, the few. Without those few brave men, there would be no hope. It takes countless sacrifices to leave an impact, lives taken for a better cause... Stand by your friends, even if it means your certain demise. she said, her voice soft and airy. Her eyes glittered brightly, looking around in some somber trance.   
  
You're the future of the world; what you choose now will decide the ultimate Fate. Betray your companions, and there is no salvation. The traitor shall find no redemption.  
  
  
  
I about wet myself listening to that. Sirius said quietly at dinner. That is one completely mental woman, if you ask me.  
  
She must have been through hell, being taken in. You think she had some meaning behind what she was telling us? James wondered.  
  
Maybe one of her friends turned on her. Peter suggested.  
  
James looked very pained, and he glanced around nervously for a moment.  
  
Let's make a pact, right now, to never betray each other. Even on life or death, we stick true. he declared, clasping his hands together melodramatically.  
  
No matter what happens, we'll stay the Marauders. Sirius added.  
  
No exceptions. Remus proclaimed. They joined hands in promise, and looked directly at Peter.  
  
Come on Wormtail, are you in?  
  
After a second of hesitation, he bit his lip.  
  
Life or death?  
  
Sirius smacked him across the back of his head, and Peter laughed.  
  
Alright, alright! I'm in!  
  
As he munched on the remans of his meal, Remus couldn't help but gaze about the Great Hall.  
  
_You're the future of the world; what you choose now will decide the ultimate Fate.  
  
_He hadn't decided if his future was something to look forward to. Secretly, he had his own personal doubts that the lot of children surrounding him were even capable of creating a future.  
  
Time will tell. he muttered with a carefree shrug, swallowing down a chunk of ham. Right now, I've got other things to do. Fate can wait.  
  
Are you talking to yourself again? Sirius asked, breaking the moment of intense thought.   
  
Remus sighed, and rolled his eyes at God.  
  
This is what you give me? Did I betray someone in a past life or what? he asked the ceiling in exasperation.  
  
Prongs, I think Moony finally lost it. Sirius whispered.  
  
He never had it Padfoot. Worry not.  
  
Ah, alright then.  
  
  
  
**A/n- Believe it or not, I finished this in two days. Two days spent being a neurotic mess because of the worst weekend of my life, mind you. Be proud.  
  
**Iggie  
  
**Fic of the Day- PMS by Dragonelle: **Just... Just take my word. It is idiotic, pointless, Monty Pyhton-like in hilarity and just plain ridiculous. You can't afford to miss it... A Remus story, but my God is it odd. Highly recomended :)


	54. Part LIV Through a Shaded Window

A/n- Yes, back again. I want to take a sentence now to thank my long-term readers and my newbies, who I hope continue to read this till its end. That is, if there is one...  
  
Disclaimer- Come now, you surely know. If you don't, Lord... WHERE have you been?  
  
Rating- PG-13 for language and various themes involving closets.  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LIV - Through a Shaded Window...  
  
  
  
Dammit Sirius, just leave me alone!  
  
In a classic display of premenstrual rage, the pretty Hufflepuff stormed off, leaving her former boyfriend behind. Jaw slightly ajar, he blinked once, and tilted his head a few inches to the side in bewilderment.  
  
Poor Padfoot. Remus said with mock sympathy, planting a hand on his shoulder.  
  
Did... Was I just... _Dumped_? he finally managed to say.  
  
Remus chuckled, and tried not to smile too obviously. Yes, dear Padfoot, I believe you were.  
  
This has to be a mistake. I mean, I... No one...  
  
What's wrong with him? James asked as he popped out of the classroom out of the classroom, stuffing a less than respectable test in his robe pocket. Looks like he was just dumped.  
  
He was. Remus said seriously, pursing his lips and nodding his head.  
  
James blinked once, and raised an eyebrow.  
  
I must be delusional. You just proclaimed that Padfoot, of all the great men of Hogwarts, was let off by a girl.  
  
Well she sure wasn't a boy. Remus joked, smiling now. Yes, he was just dumped. Relationship came to a crashing halt through regards of the female gossip line. Sarah seemed to think that Sirius here was found in the fifth-floor broom closet with none other than Marissa Hopkins. Remus relayed.  
  
Not bad, I wouldn't mind finding myself in a closet with her. James said offhand.  
  
Watch it. Lily snapped, running by after someone who had taken her bag by mistake. She had perfected that art of catching James when he was saying things he shouldn't, much to his dismay.  
  
None the less, the perfectly untrue lies, he went on, coughing slightly to conceal the sarcasm. reached Sarah. And thus, in her indignation, she threw the book at him. Literally.  
  
He indicated _Advanced Study of the Ancient Runes_ lying on the floor, and then a red mark on the side of Sirius pale face. Again, James nodded, and turned sympathetic.  
  
There's a first time for everything Padfoot, fear not. he said in a brotherly manner, slinging an arm around Sirius' shoulder. He seemed not to have recovered from the shock yet, and just stared off into the corridor like a retarded beast.  
  
Besides, every other girl in the school will be crawling back for you in about an hour, maybe less. Remus pointed out optimistically. You're the most eligible male in the whole school.  
  
Sirius asked quietly, still not able to fathom that he had been rejected.  
  
James agreed. Come on, lets go get lunch. I'll pick someone out for you, alright?  
  
Sirius shrugged, and let himself be shoved along to the Great Hall.  
  
  
How about her?  
  
Nose is too big.  
  
  
  
Come on Moony, I can do better than that. She's all... Bookish. Probably reads in her spare time.  
  
Hey, I read in my spare time!  
  
And he wonders why he never has a girlfriend? Sirius asked with a roll of his eyes. Remus tossed a muffin at him, and frowned.  
  
Aw, poor baby's all hurt now. James laughed. Maybe we should find you someone-  
  
Completely not necessary. Remus said quickly.  
  
She's not too bad, and,-  
  
No, really, I'm fine. he insisted.  
  
How about Leena? I'll bet she'd go for Moony, no problem-  
  
I'm serious-  
  
No, I'm Sirius.  
  
Carma just broke up with-  
  
I don't want a girlfriend! he finally blurted out, standing to his feet. True, he successfully stopped James and Sirius from pointing out girls, though most of the Great Hall was now snickering at him without hesitation. Flustered, he sat down, and offered his two friends a glare apiece.  
  
With obvious grins, they both shrugged, disregarding attempts to appear innocent.   
  
Well, you do-  
  
Don't even say it James, I swear to God...  
  
  
  
They're driving me insane Shebea-  
  
_They have a point, little wolf.  
  
_Oh God, don't tell me you're siding with them! Remus groaned, slumping to the ground.  
  
_You are handsome, from what I have seen of males your age, and you are reaching your prime. It is time you find a suitable mate. Or, is this one of those aspects of human nature I have misinterpreted? _she questioned, nudging his leg with her forehead to get his attention.  
  
No, you're close, I guess. We don't choose mates for a few years yet, but, well, we practice. You know, to figure out what kind of person we like.  
  
_That girl you brought down here years back, she was pleasant enough. The fiery little one with the forest eyes.  
  
_Lily? No, she's just as good as the mate of my friend.  
  
_You said you did not choose for some time, did you not?_ she asked, blinking curiously.  
  
They're different, I just get this feeling that they'll stay together for a _long_ time. he explained.  
  
_You will find your mate when the time comes. Do not worry. For a human, you are quite pleasant.  
  
_Remus chuckled, and thanked her for the compliment.  
  
I doubt I ever will find someone. he mused, looking out at the shimmering lake. My kind, werewolves, we aren't meant to have social lives. Even having a true friend is stretching the limit.  
  
_Why is that so? You are loyal, that is worth quite a lot for companions.  
  
_I'm a freak. he said very simply. Werewolves are hated and feared among men, any self-respecting person would feel the need to stay away from me. I'm an unwelcome oddity, the outsider.  
  
_Change is good though. They should learn to disregard the fact that you are different._ Shebea informed him, lying down on her belly, dipping her nose into the water playfully. _There used to be a strange human dog, a domestic I believe, in our pack. He looked distantly like us, but our alpha did not enjoy his presence at first. The newcomer proved his worth in a fight, and there was never a problem once he came in the pack. His difference was not an issue after that.  
  
_Man isn't as forgiving. Remus explained solemnly. I truly wish thing's were different, but I fear they never will be.  
  
_One should never give up hope. There is always a chance little wolf, do not feel let down if it takes some time to happen. _Encouragingly, she rubbed against his leg, growling in a friendly way. _Good things are bound to find you.  
  
_Remus smiled, and pat her head for a moment.  
  
You're probably right... And hey, after all I've gone through, there's no possible way life can get worse. he said to himself.  
  
_Precisely... Could you scratch behind my left ear perhaps? I can never reach... Oh, thank you little wolf._ she cooed, rolling up at his feet. In a few minutes, she was sleeping happily, her tail wagging enthusiastically on its own will.  
  
Such a pity I can't find a human like you. Remus thought out loud. He stared up at the sky, watching distant stars flutter in and out of light like lost dreams.  
  
Maybe someday.  
  
  
  
  
God, I wish break would come sooner. Sirius mumbled in late April, shoving his homework aside and crossing his arms on the Common Room table.  
  
Don't we all. Peter said with a sigh as he passed by.  
  
Remus rested his chin in his hands, and gazed about the room distantly. James was with Lily, who he had again managed to smuggle in, off in the far corner by the fireplace. Sirius was cursing about his schoolwork nearby, surrounded by a group of fourth years playing Exploding Snape. And there was Peter, arms stacked with books and late assignments, struggling to find a free space.  
  
Cheer up Sirius, only one more day of school and we're off. Remus reminded.  
  
What's so cheerful about that? Alex snapped from a nearby pouf. He had his arms crossed angrily, his face plastered with a hateful scowl not amiss on a Slytherin.  
  
You're staying here, aren't you? Remus asked, turning his seat around to face the Chaser.  
  
I have no choice... I can't go home now, not after that Ministry raid. My parents had to flee, leaving me with a Howler and a death threat. I'm here under forced surveillance. he grumbled bitterly.  
  
Biting his lip, Remus nodded his head. Weeks had passed since he had turned traitor on his own family, and now Alex was left as a walking soul angry with life for being so cruel. There was no display of emotion off of the Quidditch pitch, where he only showed desire to torment his opponents to the best of his growing ability.  
  
Where are you going off to? Alex asked quietly.  
  
I'm not really sure. Remus began. He was trying to decide what to say without offending or upsetting the boy, which seemed hard to do. I may go and stay abroad for a while... I usually just drift around. I don't have anywhere to go conditionally.  
  
Having nowhere to go can be a blessing. Alex mused solemnly. I'd rather have nothing at all than what I've been left to face.  
  
Avery, Lupin! Gear up, we've got a game in thirty! the seventh-year Chaser shouted above the commotion.  
  
With tired sighs, they both stood up and went to collect their things.  
  
  
  
Alex, what in hell are you doing? You're going to get someone killed out there! Sirius shouted as he flew by, bat raised and ready in hunt of the Bludgers.  
  
Oh yes, I'll have to be more careful. he said to no one in particular, one moment later making a suicide-lunge at an opposing Slytherin.  
  
Down at the goal posts, Remus shook his head sadly.  
  
He's going to become the very thing he hates if he keeps this up. he said to himself, watching James search frantically for the Snitch. It had been decided to not fool around with an exciting game and catch the Snitch straight off to ensure their spot in the Finals. Currently, Sirius and Alex were doing a wonderful job of disregarding blueprint.  
  
And the referee isn't going to let that one slide... Black doesn't look to happy either-No, there he goes-This will rightly develop into an all-out brawl if Gryffindor can't tone it down a notch! the announcer said joyously. Sirius and the Slytherin Beater, Andrew Knoll, were separated before anything violent occurred, much to the crowds displeasure.  
  
James, for the sake of what's left of our House points, catch the Snitch! Remus barked out as loud as he could, quickly heading back towards the golden hoops as the Quaffle passed the half-field marker. Kayre and the seventh year, Frankie Kielts, double-teamed and stole the ball back.  
  
Aye aye Cappie! James shouted as he made a spectacular dive towards the ground. In a scarlet blur, he sped downwards, hands stretched outwards in search of his mark.  
  
Oh no you don't! Alex bellowed, ramming directly into the slip of emerald falling right for the Seeker. Both Chasers collided in a ferocious clap of shattered bone, each knocked from their mounts in a flash. James pulled up, Snitch in hand, a second too late to avoid becoming the bottom layer of a Quidditch player dog pile.  
  
Lily was the first to reach the collection of intertwined limbs, and she immediately pulled her beloved free from the mess. Landing at a safe distance, Remus pushed through the other team and cringed. Arms were most definitely not intended to bend in such directions, nor were kneecaps supposed to look that particular shape.  
  
Stand aside. Madame Pomfrey said stiffly, having hopped down from the stands. She had long since made it habit to attend every Gryffindor versus Slytherin match.  
  
Is he going to be alright? Lily asked nervously, ignoring the reproving glares from her teammates. She seemed not to care much for her unconscious Chaser, and Remus was almost certain she was actually glad he had been knocked on the head.  
  
That one? she laughed shortly, pointing to James. He's the least of my worries. Lad has blown himself up in every conceivable way and never harmed himself. I'm sure he'll recover in a night. No, please, move aside! she demanded again. The Slytherins were crowding her area, refusing to provide ample space to conjure a stretcher.  
  
God job Lupin, your bloody Chaser nearly killed him!  
  
Hey, it's not Remus' fault. Kayre defended.   
  
And besides, Lette was going after James in the first place! Andrew pointed out, dropping his broom to the ground.  
  
That's our fault?  
  
And how come Alex gets the blame if Lette did the same thing?  
  
You can't be sure he was going to-  
  
Oh give me a break Johnson, you know damn well-  
  
BOYS! Break it up NOW! Madame Pomfrey screeched.  
  
They took part of her bark literally; in a manner of seconds, the majority of the surrounding Slytherin House became involved in a vicious brawl with the Gryffindors.  
  
C'mon Remus, I could use some help! Sirius yelled as the student body poured onto the field in a massive wave, the staff being pulled along in the chaotic stampede. In a short time, there were bodies piled together, fists flying and years of House rivalry being toiled out in a bruising fight of pride and hatred.  
  
Oh, terribly sorry. Snape said in a sarcastic drawl as he landed by his elbow right on top of Remus.  
  
I'm sure. he grunted out, hand covering his rapidly swelling eye.  
  
Lupin! Break this crowd up, I need to get them to the Infirmary! Madame Pomfrey pleaded, clutching onto his free arm. He was pulled through the crowd, fending to find the small ring of protection at the center mark.  
  
Hello Lupin. Ms. Horder said wryly, screaming a second later at a pair of Ravenclaws who probably didn't know that they were fighting each other.  
  
Nice day, isn't? he asked, finally managing to pull his wand from his pocket.  
  
Simply fantastic. Any suggestions?  
  
You're the Defense professor. he snorted.  
  
And you're the inhumanly strong one used to dealing with a bunch of psychotic idiots. she fired back bitterly. It was clearly one of the moments where she was questioning her judgment in taking her job. As usual, it had something to do with the Marauders.  
  
How about you just Levitate everyone? Best they fight in the air, lest Pomfrey can get through.  
  
_Wingardium leviosa!_ the surrounding professors and more passive students shouted. A good thirty members of mixed Houses hovered above in the air, temporarily confused and frightened out of their wits. Little by little, a path was cleared, and Remus played bodyguard with a Hufflepuff girl to escort the two stretchers and a disoriented James away from the throng.  
  
  
  
Ow! Dammit Padfoot, be careful with that stuff. Remus snapped, sucking in a sharp breath of air.  
  
Do you want it to heal quick or not? Sirius countered, frowning. It's not like I enjoy having this crud all over the place. If you haven't noticed it smells extremely foul.  
  
He set down the small container of healing goop' as he called it, and flicked a tiny bit on the cut above Remus' brow.  
  
he concluded, wiping his hands on his pants.  
  
Ow ow ow... Remus whined, biting on his lip as the gap of skin closed painfully, weaving itself back in thread with the other side of flesh. That stuff is so... Itchy. he decided, wanting very much to dig his nail into the closing wound.  
  
It'll just open again if you scratch at it, and Pomfrey's busy for at least a week. We need to improvise. he said. Just be glad you're not James. Lily will NOT let him avoid taking a drop of the nurse's medicine.  
  
Poor chap, she'll be the death of him...  
  
Where the hell is Prongs anyway?  
  
You'd rather not know. said Sirius, a tiny grin escaping.  
  
Uhg, sick. I wish they'd not do that somewhere I might later end up...  
  
Fear not, they've found their own closets to, erm, study in. he said with a shrug. Like last week, there's this-  
  
No, that's more than enough. Remus interrupted, rubbing at his brow again. I'd rather take another round of the Quidditch riot than hear the rest of that tale.  
  
Suit yourself.  
  
  
  
Where'd Alex run off to this time? Surely he didn't leave already. James asked curiously, peering around the table.  
  
You mean he isn't here? Remus questioned, craning his neck to see down the far end. It was very unusual to find one student missing from breakfast at any time.  
  
No, hes ishn't. James said with difficulty, trying to shovel food into his mouth with his good arm in a sling.   
  
He was supposed to stay here though. Remus remembered.  
  
Nah, he's in the Infirmary. Sirius reminded. He got hit really hard, I doubt they'd let him out too soon.  
  
James interrupted, setting down his glass of juice. He wasn't there this morning, but some older guy was. Tall, really stiff looking chap, he kept glaring the death at me... I think he was Alex's father, him n' the older Avery boy looked dead-replicate for each other.  
  
Remus chocked on a bite of his own creation, a bacon and ham on roll breakfast slop, and blinked.  
  
Sirius burst out laughing, managing to say Oh Lord, you should see your face! It's-  
  
I have to go. Remus interjected, tossing the remains of his meal on the table and sprinting off. Sirius and James shrugged, and went back to flicking candies at Peter when he wasn't looking.  
  
  
  
Lupin, what in devils name are you... Are you ill son? You look dreadfully pale. Here, let me-  
  
Madame Pomfrey, do you know where Alex Avery went to? he said very quickly.  
  
Oh, the Quidditch lad. she said after a slight pause, frowning disapprovingly. His father took him home for the holidays this morning. Poor dear was still knocked out from the Sleeping Drought, a- Lupin? Where are you go-  
  
He was out the door before she had another second to stare quizzically at him.  
  
  
  
Come on! Let me IN! Remus shouted, banging on the office door. He had run all the way to the gargoyle on the third floor before he realised he had no password, and the only other way he could reach a teacher alone was to find Professor Forson.  
  
Let me in, it's an emergency! he yelled. Urgently, he slammed his fist against the door again, leaving a small dent as mark of his concern. After a round of insistent banging, Professor Forson finally opened the door, armed with a wand and an intense scowl.  
  
Lupin? What the hell do you want, it's lunch time-  
  
Alex Avery's father came and took him- Remus blurted out all at once. He stopped, took in a breath, and lowered his hands from the air where the door had been.  
  
So he was picked up for the holidays, that's nothing-  
  
His father's involved in the Dark movement. Remus said as calmly as he could, though still stressing the danger of the situation.  
  
The Potions Master showed no signs that he had even heard what was said. With a pained grimace, Remus repeated his news.  
  
And you expect me to do something? he said dryly.  
  
He stared. A students life was in danger, and the _bastard_ was calmly crossing his arms. _Calmly_ crossing his arms! Remus had to use more self-control than he knew he possessed just to not jump the git right there against the wall.  
  
He could get _killed_!  
  
The Avery's have been involved in the Dark Arts since before Dumbledore was born. The Ministry knows this, I know this, and apparently you do as well. I was as shocked as any other professor to see him a Gryffindor, since there has not been one deviation from the Snakes in over a hundred fifty years' time. Forson said monotonously, glaring violently. The icy gaze instantly silence Remus' outrage, though his knuckles remained white in clenched anger.  
  
You cannot expect anyone, not even Dumbledore himself, to march in there and take custody of the black sheep. he compared, momentarily letting the glare fall. This is not your battle to choose.  
  
You don't expect him to come back. Remus said quietly, in a tone of mixed hatred and sorrow. I... I can't believe you, he's your student, Christ... He's a kid! He isn't any older than me, and you expect him to fend from a bunch of Dark wizards, let alone his own _family_? he asked rhetorically, shaking his head in denial. He couldn't, and... He never would.  
  
This is war. This is how life is going to be, kid. You're too young to realise that-  
  
I may be young, but I sure as hell understand injustice. Remus whispered, not directing the words at his elder. He didn't notice Forsons slight frown and nod, as he had his eyes locked on the ground, not focusing on anything at all.  
  
What's to become of him? he asked after a very long silence in which Forson stared distantly, displeased that his time was being wasted. He knew better than to force away a werewolf though, so he remained at guard.  
  
You know, unconsciously possibly. Forson said in an eerily gentle tone that did not suite his stature.  
  
He wont be coming back over Easter. Remus told the floor. His family, I can't believe they'd do that, their own son...  
  
Believe it Lupin, it's all you'll face soon enough.  
  
  
  
_Why can't we all be a family again? Remus asked tenderly, munching on the bag of potato crisps his brother had borrowed from the store nearby.  
  
The police'll try to break us up. We can't go back. Romolus informed quietly, looking at the colourful horizon. So don't even try to run home again. I'm not going to chase after you next time.  
  
Mum will keep us. She loves me, she said so. She promised. Remus shot back, sticking out his lip. Mummy wouldn't lie.  
  
Romolus, still only a small boy, shut his eyes to block out the truth. He didn't want to face it, to know what was real.  
  
Rem, try to understand. Mum can't take care of you anymore, and the police will think you hurt Dad on purpose.  
  
I didn't mean to. I couldn't... I couldn't help myself Rom, he was... And I-I didn't-the wolf, I tried to stop...  
  
Rem, don't cry, come on, please. You're too old to cry, no, Remus- Alright, come here._  
  
_He embraced the shaking child for some time, letting the tears stain his dirty shirt. After a long sniff, Remus drew back, and rubbed his eyes clean, trying to pretend he was still being tough.  
  
You really need to stop crying all the time little brother, you're too old for that. Romolus said.  
  
C'we at least go say bye to mum? I miss her. I wanna say g'bye, if we're gonna go away. he mumbled, managing to look up. Not gonna be weak in front'a Rom.' he told himself.  
  
I really don't think that's a good idea... Romolus began, but tried to close his eyes. Do you always have to give me that look? Uhg, alright. We can go say goodbye or something, I need some of my old clothes anyway. Maybe I can snatch some Sickles. he said practically, smiling at his excited sibling.  
  
It's just a quick visit, got it?  
  
Remus squealed in delight, and hugged his brother around the waist.  
  
  
Go away, please. I... I'm sorry Romolus, just-Just go!  
  
The door slammed shut, shattering the hopes of a small boy as it went.  
  
Is mum mad at me? he asked pathetically, tugging at Rom's sleeve.  
  
Of course not, she just has another headache. the elder boy rationalized. Seeing the pleading youngsters face, he produced a false smile, and stepped inside the house after magicking away the lock.  
  
Remus pressed his ear against the door crack, and held his breath.  
  
Mum, you can't be serious! Where are we supposed to go?  
  
Get out of here. the mother whispered, not turning to face her son.  
  
I have nowhere to take him, not... He might hurt someone else.  
  
A sharp intake of breath, and a shaky finger pointed to a drawer by the sink.  
  
Take your fathers Gringots key and get out of here. I don't want to see you again, and don't bring... Don't bring him back.  
  
Mum, he didn't mean to. Romolus said, dropping his voice. You know he would never hurt anyone.  
  
Mrs. Lupin barked, sobbing briefly. Look where that got your father. He _killed_ him Romolus. He's dead. They think I did it, and I have no where to go.  
  
Come with us. I can't take care of him, I can't take care of myself. We need each other. he persuaded, sounding so old it seemed wrong, so ungodly for a child to make such tones and thoughts.  
  
Get out. she breathed into the dim light of the night. Get out!  
  
Remus jumped at the sharp scream, and thrust his hands to his pockets, pulling at the fabric for security. A second later, Romolus came out, told him to wait still, and he again went inside.  
  
he asked, creeping the door open. His beloved mother, clad in her warm, floral print dress, was shoved against the broken dishwasher, crying desperately into her hands.  
  
Mummy, what's wrong? he questioned, walking over and gently prying her hands away. Why, tears had stained her lovely face! What had been so terrible as to make his mother so sad?  
  
It's alright mum, I'm right here. he exclaimed, not understanding he was the ground of the problem. We can be a family again. Don't cry mum.  
  
GO AWAY! she bellowed out, swinging her hands. It connected, and Remus was tossed back onto his old kitchen table. Except, it wasn't his anymore. The thought clicked, and before the tearful woman could gasp in horror of herself, her eldest son was gone, the other slung about his shoulder.  
  
Thanks mum, ruin his life even more. Romolus snapped as he slammed the door in her face.   
  
Why doesn't mum love me anymore? the boy asked, climbing down from his brothers support on his own. A broken wreck, he didn't wait for an answer, and shed a final tear in the beginning of understanding.  
  
We don't need her anymore. Dry your eyes Remus, c'mon, let's just go now.  
  
  
_I've been facing it my whole life. he murmured. With flickering shadows cast around, the faded reply of dancing flames, Remus returned to the comfort he found in silence.  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- I think it got a _bit_ angsty at the end. Compensation for my previously lighter chapters I suppose. Well, hoped you enjoyed!  
  
  
SPECIAL NOTE- To all those how keep pointing out my lose-loose PROBLEM, I'm working on it! My peice-of-dung spell checker automatically changes it to the wrong one at times, I'm convinced... I know the difference, I'm just too lazy to really beta-read. :) But thanks anyway, and keep the grammar alerts coming!  
  
**Iggie  
  
**Fic of the Day- Uric the Oddball and the Wild Hunt by Ariana Deralte: **Before Dumbledore, before Dippet, there was... Uric the Oddball? It's 1680 and one very strange boy is coming to Hogwarts. And here we thought the Marauders were troublesome...


	55. Part LV I See the Darkest Sight

A/n- Oh God, not again. Yes, I know...  
  
Disclaimer- Hm, let's see. It's been 55 chapters now...  
  
Rating- PG-13 for some action/blood/violence/language/gore/sex... I'm kidding on the last one. (Or so you'd like to think :) )  
  
**WARNING-** Yes, this is a violent chapter to some extent, and evil at that. Quite easily my most evil to date. So if you're one'a those weeping-pansy-types who get all pissy when I decide to go Slytherin, you've been warned. THIS IS NOT A HAPPY CHAPTER. So, really... No flames please!  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LV - I See the Darkest Sight  
  
  
  
  
She missed breakfast again. Sirius pointed out, swallowing his omelet.   
  
Yeah, I think she's been locking herself in her office in-between classes. James said. Every time I check the map she's in there, alone.  
  
Good thing we have vacation. Peter added with excitement. Everyone needs some time to clam down. Maybe the Slytherin's wont be ready to kill us after a week of relaxation.  
  
Remus shut his eyes, bowing his head slightly. No one noticed that his mouth was moving, repeating a request for whatever deity that would spare listen.  
  
Let everything be alright. he mumbled, clenching his jaw. Something's amiss... For once, let my holiday be uneventful.  
  
Down the table, where Alex usually sat, a small fire burst out for no immediately apparent reason. Blinking in confusion, Remus looked up to the charmed ceiling, and stared.  
  
This is a sign, isn't it? he asked God. The clouds swirled, a flash of lightning bolting across the imitation sky. In a second more, it was gone, unnoticed by any other.   
  
Damn it.  
  
  
  
  
Remus sighed, wiping the sweat from his brow with one hand, the other gripping tight on the broom handle. He lowered slightly, and trickled his bare toes on the treetops of the forest absently.  
  
Only another hour I reckon. he estimated, glancing at the melting sun.   
  
He paused, hovering in the air steadily as he steadied against the wind. Reaching behind himself, he pulled a letter from his pocket Viator had delivered before he entered the train, a very disturbing one.  
  
_Lupin-  
  
Get your ass back here now.   
  
Caleb  
  
_He muttered something incomprehensible in irritation, and set off again.  
  
I think it's best if I stop hoping for normal. he concluded. Apparently Fate has another plan for me.  
  
  
  
Jesus Christ Lupin, what took so long?  
  
He hadn't taken two steps into the sleepy streets of the small Jericho before Caleb swarmed him like an anxious child.  
  
It takes a while to lie your way through the ports. Remus reminded, setting his beaten broom over his shoulder. What's so dastardly important that you tear me away from my vacations? I've been a nervous wreck and I was rather fancied with sleeping off the entire week.  
  
Roughly, he was pulled not into his normal cottage, but into one closer to the city limits. His mouth fell along with his spirits.  
  
Oh dear God... How, how long? he asked almost silently, his voice cracking through.  
  
Three days. I had the town doctor duplicate that antidote your schoolmate made, it has absolutely no affect. I think the virus is mutating... We've lost six already.  
  
They quarantined them. Remus realised, dropping his satchel as he collapsed to his knees. I can't believe this, they're so young... Too young. This isn't happening... Dammit!  
  
I'm going down to the American Ministry, they're in charge of the werewolf campaign and I'll find the most answers there. Caleb interrupted, trying to keep Remus in focus. I need to find a cure for this, a counter spell. It's spreading on all the eastern continents and verging on epidemic for us. I'm _not_ going to let our kind die that easily.  
  
Remus bit his lip, and every trace of happiness whisked away from his face as he stared at the twins. Pale, shivering, they were crammed onto a single bed under a tiny handmade blanket. The room was littered with cots of similar cases, men and women struggling for a hopeless cause on their own.  
  
He ran a hand through Jason's shag of hair, shaking his head regretfully.  
  
They wont have a lot of chance to fight this. Caleb admitted aloud. Not unless we find something to cure it... They're emotionally weak, they've been waiting so long to see you they got depressed. Mental health has got to be a factor for this, every time it strikes it's someone in distress of some sort.  
  
We're always in distress. Remus reminded with a tight face.  
  
Well regardless of conditions for its spread, we need a cure, and soon. Like I said, I'm leaving tomorrow, so-  
  
You can't go to there Caleb, it's worse than suicide right now!  
  
And they'll most certainly die if I don't. he said passionately, pointing at the twins. I'd rather take a shot with my life than sit by and watch my sons die off one by one. They're not going to live if I don't take action, so right now I could care less about my own well-being. he snapped with an intent gleam in his bright eyes.  
  
If you're gone, there's going to be no one left to lead these people. Remus pointed out, drawing his hand back slowly, painfully. Garade's too young and foolhardy, and no one else is brave enough to take lead and sacrifice so much. We all need you here, _they_ need you here. he said, indicating the boys sleeping restlessly.  
  
They need me to be a father, and that's what I'm doing. I don't give a damn if you like it or not Lupin, I'm going. Caleb snapped in such a tone Remus wouldn't guess even Ms. Horder would relent instantly. I needed you to stay here and watch over them while I'm out.  
  
You might not come back. Dammit, you _wont_ make it home. Remus briefly recalled his old daydreams, small Sights into what may become. And I'm going, I Saw it. There's no denying werewolf precognitives if two Views show it to be the same.  
  
Fine, then come. I could use a distraction anyway.  
  
Shutting his tired brown-grey eyes, Remus let his head nod for him.  
  
We should go tomorrow, early as possible. We'll have a better chance of avoiding clearance checks if the security hasn't had their morning caffeine rush. Remus reasoned monotonously. Head straight for wherever you think you'll find your answers, and I'll draw the suspicion. I can outrun them easier than you if need be.  
  
Caleb nodded in agreement, and smiled forcefully.  
  
You're a good kid Lupin, I'm glad I pulled you out.  
  
Sometimes I wonder...  
  
They both shared a gaze at the invalid boys, a loving hope that they would survive another morrow. Their eyes met, but Caleb pulled away quickly, breaking the earnest connection.  
  
Get some rest. he finally said, swallowing tightly. I have a feeling we'll need it.  
  
_Go, get out of here now while there's still a chance!  
  
I'm not leaving without you-  
  
Just GO! I'll take care of this, now get out. There isn't much time.  
  
I'll stay and help, we're going back together. We owe it to those little runts to make it back together.  
  
Get out of here Lupin, or none of us are going to live at all.  
  
  
  
Just go! Hurry!  
  
A broken gaze, one of sorrow. He turned on foot, and stepped through the broken doorway.  
  
You'd better make it back Caleb. I'll never forgive you if you die.  
  
  
  
_Is Caleb around?  
  
Blinking out of his daydream, Remus shook his head, cringing at how stiff his neck felt.  
  
You shouldn't be here, it's contagious, we think. he said lightly. Melhane hovered near the doorway, biting her lip, suppressing something she wished to say.  
  
He's going to leave, isn't he?  
  
Remus sighed, patting the boys on the head before getting up. It had been hours since he'd moved from the wooden chair, and his body clearly protested to the exercise._  
  
_Just... I don't know, tell him not to go and get himself killed. she blurted out._  
  
_With Caleb, that wont be worth anything.  
  
Then I'll tell you. she changed, wringing her hands together. Don't you dare let him get killed, either of you for that fact. The entire Underground relies on you two for security, you know, you're like our final hope.  
  
Remus said with a hint of sarcasm. That's a great thing to keep in mind._  
  
  
  
_ Remus murmured, ducking into a utility closet he remembered from a previous job as a janitor in the building. Shit shit _shit_. he repeated under his breath, holding his breath as a wave of footsteps passed by the sealed door.  
  
_All personnel, please be advised that there is an attempted escape of the recent werewolf captures. Available guards should report to Floor 3 immediately. This is not a drill. Repeat..._  
  
Shit again. he cursed one last time, stepping out once he heard the pattering steps die away down a staircase. Pointing his wand at his chest, Remus muttered a spell, and changed his robes to replicate those of the security men running about frantically every few seconds.  
  
Let me GO! Stop it!  
  
He turned his head, and watched in disgust as about five or so chained people were dragged through the narrow hallways.  
  
Hey, you there, help me out. one of the tall security men said. Suppressing his snicker and grin, Remus rushed over to the werewolf escorts. He was handed one of the silver chains, which he took cautiously.  
  
Stay inconspicuous.' he reminded as he slipped his sleeve over his hands.  
  
Want me to take them? You're higher rank, you should be out catching those goddamn beast's that are loose. he said seriously.  
  
Think you can handle these? They're hell of a lot stronger than you'd expect. the man questioned, tugging to make the train move along. Remus jerked lightly at the cord, making everyone stumble forward.  
  
Don't worry, I've been dealing with them across the borders for years. he said honestly, again having to restrain a smile. After a small pause, the other guard nodded to his coworkers and they set off immediately to find Caleb.  
  
Keep your heads down and try not to say anything. Remus whispered hurriedly to his pack. It shouldn't be hard to break out of here in all the commotion.  
  
The tallest boy at the front of the string swallowed hard, and managed to find his battered voice.  
  
Who are you?  
  
To silently explain, he held up his hands, sleeves covering the silver chains. In unanimous understanding, the group nodded, and walked a with a little vigor.  
  
Why are you here? the boy asked.   
  
To make sure none of us die. Come on, down this way. And step lively, we have a lot of ground to cover before you're all safe.  
  
  
  
  
  
Lupin? What... What the hell are you doing? he asked, blinking in surprise at the connected band of werewolves led by his young friend.  
  
You know, the usual. Remus said with a sarcastic shrug.  
  
This is one of the werewolves asked curiously.  
  
Just don't ask. Caleb interrupted, frowning suddenly. He turned back to Remus, and glared in disapproval.  
  
This is how you plan to distract them? By pulling around a train of their prisoners?  
  
Care to look them in the face and say, Oh sorry, we have to leave and let you be executed. Nothing personal, really, but we have a problem with our sons?' Remus asked. Caleb rolled his eyes, and cursed slightly.  
  
Put them somewhere safe for now. I need your help getting into one of the labs...  
  
You found the files? And... A cure? Remus asked hopefully, eyes dancing.  
  
I think so.  
  
Alright, I'll meet you on the second floor at a quarter after. he said, and turned his head towards his rescues. Follow me...  
  
  
  
Are any of you wizards? he asked, closing a utility door behind him carefully. Five of the six hands raised high, the only one left down was an unconscious small girl who Remus guessed was a witch as well.  
  
No wands, correct?  
  
They snapped them when we were captured. one of the older men informed.  
  
I don't have a lot of time, and I can't explain everything right now. Remus said. But I'm here to help you out, and more importantly, get you out. Now, does anyone know where the key to these chains are?  
  
Fifth floor, Head of Department's desk drawer. He's in the third corridor. a hooded woman piped quietly. If you are skilled at all in Charms, the Valens Discerpo would release the locks.  
  
Remus thanked God he had studied for his O.W.L.'s, and quickly released the pack from their binds. They began to rub at their burned skin, grimacing at the innumerable blisters that now tattooed their wrists and ankles.  
  
I'll be back with my friend as soon as we find a few things. Don't leave the room, I'm going to lock it from the outside. Remus commanded gently, trying to calm himself down in his rare moment of calm. I wont be gone very long, so just hang on for a little while.  
  
You're in great danger. an older girl said after a long pause.   
  
Not a surprise... If it's a Vision, I'd not care to know. I've had enough of precognitives to last a lifetime.  
  
Then you must move swiftly if this plan of yours will be a success. Those you love are at risk of Death finding them. she informed, nodding him farewell.  
  
  
  
  
  
Get out of here now! The bloody wankers figured out how to properly shoot pistols, dammit! Caleb shouted, crouching behind a corner in time to avoid the silver projectile.  
  
No, I hadn't noticed! Remus yelled with a roll of his eyes. I'm not going anywhere if you aren't with me.  
  
You've got the files and the navitas root, just get your ass out of here.   
  
Again, a bullet chipped the wall right by Caleb's head, only missing its target by a manner of millimeters.  
  
Remus shut his eyes, heart racing, breath struggling to come. The guards didn't see him, he didn't matter... Everyone had their sights set on killing off the troublesome werewolf fending for his life.  
  
Dammit, I don't have time for this. Remus told himself, looking around. He was only a hallway down from the tiny room where six innocents awaited freedom or capture, and only a hallway away from a friend in dire need. Either path would bring certain death for him and those he would try to save.  
  
I can't do this... he muttered, crouching down to the ground. The sharp cry of another bullet pierced his thoughts. I can't choose... There's no way I can. I promised both they'd make it, I promised the twins we'd come back.  
  
A bitter tear trailed down his face. Another shot.  
  
Corey and Jason wont live if I wait. No time to get the others... No time to get caleb out of here. he said angrily, running a hand through his sweat-soaked hair.  
  
Lupin, GO! Caleb bellowed, trying to reach for his wand. His hand strayed into the open, fumbling for his weapon that lay cast off in the hall. Outside of the safety of his barrier, one bullet reached its mark.  
  
  
  
Get out of here. he said tightly, clutching at his arm. Go on, they're coming for you... I'll be fine. he struggled to say. His eyes, black and narrowed in rage, ordered Remus to disembark.  
  
He had his wand, though little good it would do. Caleb would never be able to focus his magic in this state. Remus couldn't think of one spell, not one useful incantation that could turn the tables.  
  
I can make it out of here. Take the files, get those others out, and just run! Caleb ordered with a last spurt of passion as he tried to overcome the stinging pain. I can save myself, I can't save the others. Too many lives depend on you getting out, now _go_!  
  
Against his will, Remus nodded, his voice choked up on emotion.  
  
I'll come back for you. Remus said as he sprinted his way through the chaotic hall. I swear to God Caleb, I'll be back.  
  
  
  
  
Where's your friend sir? Don't tell me-  
  
Just stay quiet and keep walking. Remus snapped in a coarse whisper. Tears stained his face, clotted his throat with fiery reminders.  
  
Lad, just go back and get him. the eldest man said carefully, walking ahead to catch up with his leader. There's still time to-  
  
I'd be captured, and you'd be captured. It'd do nothing good...  
  
You're just going to leave him there? the eight year old boy asked again, continuing his habit of asking too many questions.  
  
Do you think I want to? Remus yelled fiercely. Apologetically, and slightly frightened, the child retreated behind the pack.  
  
Remus shut his eyes for a moment, still walking on in the direction of security. The constant crunch of leaf and stick behind him was mocking him, slowly driving him mad, step by step...  
  
It is not our place to alter your judgment. the hooded girl said quietly, quietly sneaking up to his side. Had we not been there, you would have stayed, would you not?  
  
Everyone alright back there? he asked over her voice, blocking out and denying the conversation altogether.  
  
The two little ones aren't doing so well. one reported, checking the small mounts in the arms of the others. And Mr. Jesson can't make it much farther with his leg the way it is.  
  
It's only three more miles, we'll be safe then. Remus informed. He was still clutching his wand inside his pocket, wanting to go back, knowing he couldn't.  
  
Where are you taking us?  
  
There's a city, my friend and I have been stealing away the refugees inside. You'll be safe there.  
  
You're friend is still alive.  
  
He stopped in his tracks, and again faced the girl who would not remove her hood, or her presence.  
  
How can he be? he asked quietly, his mind and voice not syncing with the other.  
  
He was captured, but he is still alive. You must go back for him while there is time.  
  
I can't leave you all here, you could get caught as well. They have scouts after us, you know. Remus pointed out, biting his lip. If he could catch their scent, surely she could as well.  
  
You risked your safety to save us, a band of outcasts you've never met before. one of the boys said. You didn't know we were here, and yet you abandon your mission to help us.  
  
We've all been through enough as it is, in our own separate hells. You should go now young lad, we can handle it now that you've given us another chance. the elderly man, Mr. Jesson, said with an encouraging smile. Go get your friend back.  
  
Remus shook his head defiantly, and refused.  
  
There's a pair of kids where I'm taking you, they're like my children... If I don't get back and make this damn counter poison they're going to die. he said, tapping at the file of papers in his cloak pocket.  
  
I will take it back. the hooded girl said, stepping forward. She lay down the little bruised girl she had been carrying for some miles, and nodded in confirmation. Tell me the way, and I will go ahead. I am lighter on my feet than you would be with the pack of us; tell me and I will make sure to get to your boys.  
  
Remus leaned against a tree, crossing his arms in deliberation.  
  
You can trust me, I will not let you down. I owe my life to you and your friend, I wish nothing more than to repay the debt. she said gently.  
  
I don't need payment for fixing others' blind mistakes. Remus said at last, tightening his cloak around himself. And I do trust you. Take these files, find a man named Theodore as soon as you get inside the gates, and he can do the rest. You need to make it before nightfall though.  
  
That I can do. And you, my friend, must get to your companion. He has very little time.  
  
Staring into the shadowed, blank eyes, Remus took in a tight breath as he tried to decide. The chance to save Caleb, a chance that could cause the death of this pack, and himself. And the twins...  
  
If I go, it could cost at least twenty lives. he judged. Not to mention how many others could die if the antidote didn't arrive... I could die, you could be captured again, I mean...  
  
Your friend _will_ die if you do not go after him.  
  
Diverting his eyes from the cold glare, he swallowed hard.  
  
The choice is too unbalanced, I can't risk so much. Remus whispered as the pack began to sit down for a rest.  
  
Can you? she asked again. You can, you want to, and yet you don't. How can one man care so much for those he does not know?  
  
This is my job. he told himself. ...My life now.  
  
You wish to follow in his footsteps.  
  
Turning back, he blinked, realising she was right after all.  
  
Go on, I'll find the way.   
  
I can't... I can't risk it.  
  
Yes you can, and you are. she confirmed, tapping his bare arm with her icy fingers. Go now, and be swift. There will be no time if you delay any longer.  
  
Nodding without knowing so, Remus handed over his satchel and the files, and raced in the opposite direction into the dying sun.  
  
  
  
I'm here for backup, Norman Grue called me in. Remus said as he entered the building, trying not to pant or look like a madman. The small part of his mind that wasn't consumed in worry had been formulating a plan, some sort of logic amidst the hell. He had seen the name off of an Employee of the Month plaque somewhere, and taken the information for his use.   
  
A tired looking secretary looked up at him skeptically, and asked for identification.  
  
I didn't bring my cards, this was short-notice. All I heard was something about a werewolf that needed dealt with. he said coyly, keeping a straight face. The thin-lipped woman glared once more, and with a rueful sigh, granted him access to Caleb's cell. He stepped onto the indicated tile, and was teleported off in a flash.  
  
  
  
Be careful, he's a feisty one. Already took out three of our men. the guard warned, opening the lock with a click.   
  
You may want to leave. They tend to be rather loud... Remus added as he cracked his knuckles for affect. The man nodded and decided to take a coffee break. Slipping inside, and shutting the very thick door behind him, Remus instantly felt sick.  
  
  
Caleb, hey, are you alright? he asked quietly, kneeling down to the ground.  
  
That's a bit... Redundant. he sputtered, spitting out a mouthful of blood in-between. Remus pulled his wand form his pocket, but Caleb's shaky hand stopped him.  
  
Anti-magic field. Wouldn't have any affect. he explained in a shattered voice. Why the hell'd you come back? It's dangerous.  
  
I said I wasn't leaving without you, and I meant it.  
  
The boys... Are they alright? he demanded, urgently grabbing at Remus sleeve. Did you... Are they alright?  
  
They're fine Caleb, don't worry.  
  
Tell em I'm sorry.  
  
Nonsense, you can tell them yourself. Remus interrupted. Slipping his arm behind Caleb, he pulled him off the ground, leaning the broken man against blood-soiled walls.  
  
Not like this I wont. Caleb said, smiling grimly. He fought to stay upright, and he opened his robe. Slightly off target, he pointed.  
  
Six shots, kid. Only took one to get me down, but they kept going. he laughed. Kept asking where the rest were, said I didn't know. They just kept going...  
  
Fighting down the feeling that he was going to loose his breakfast, Remus shook his head.  
  
Come on Caleb, we're going to get out of here.  
  
Promise me you'll take care of them Lupin. he said, slowly loosing the tiny glimmer of life in his eyes. Tell em I'm sorry, tell Mel too. I promised I'd be back, but... Change of plans.  
  
Don't say anything, you're hurting yourself. Remus said as he tore a few lengths from his shirt, tying them about Caleb's arm where two of the bullets were still lodged. A hand, cold and devoid of colour, gripped his own.  
  
Just stop kid, there's no point.  
  
Bugger off Caleb, I'm getting you out of here. Remus said, choking back his own disbelief. We're going to go back, and then you, Jason and Corey'll all be fine. It'll be just like before. He continued to tie the strips of cloth, determined to help where he didn't truly think he could. Now that we have the antitoxin, everything will be fine. We can make a cure, just like... Just like we told Elise we would.  
  
I'll tell er you did it. God, she always said you'd find it, that you'd be the one to save us all. Caleb reflected solemnly. Guess she was right, after all.  
  
You aren't going to tell her anything! Remus shouted out, angry that there was no flicker of hope left in his own voice, angry that Caleb was giving in.   
  
We can tell her when we're old, and... Caleb?  
  
He pressed his hand against Caleb bloodied neck, searching desperately for a pulse.  
  
he yelled again, only feeling the slightest hint of movement. He shook him by the shoulder, not eliciting a reaction of any sort.  
  
Come on Caleb, you have to make it back. Remus ordered, face scrunching up in outrage. I promised... Get up, come on...  
  
Tell em I'm sorry kid. he muttered breathlessly, smiling in a distant manner. His eyes remained open in a dead sense, no longer seeing any light.   
  
Alright? Just... Make sure, you tell   
  
I'm not telling them anything you can't say yourself! he barked out.  
  
Stop tryin' Remus... You can't, you can't do anything about it. Let it go, kid.  
  
His hand fell from around Remus' wrist, and his head titled over to the side limply. The grip was gone, and he repeated no last requests.  
  
Caleb! Come on, we're going. Remus mumbled to himself, lifting his friend up around his shoulders.  
  
  
Hey, wh-  
  
He couldn't handle it. Remus said bitterly as he passed the security guard coming to check on him. I'm going to go get rid of him before the boss comes back.  
  
Good riddance. the other man agreed as he strode by.  
  
Remus clenched his free hand, and tried very hard to suppress his rage.  
  
Hang in there Caleb. he whispered. We have a lot left to finish, you're not getting out that easy.  
  
  
  
**A/n- Evil, yes, I know. I just can't help myself sometimes! And now, you, the poor reader, will slowly realise this is the end of the chapter. I have once again left on an excruciating cliffhanger! Mwuhaha! Hahaha- ::coughs, chokes:: Yes, well, I'll just get the next chapter up soon a'fore I get too many death threats. Review? Please o_O ?  
  
**Iggie  
  
**Sorry folks, no Fic of the Day this time. I've been disappointed lately, and frankly nothing suited my fancy. Just check my Favourites if you need some reading material.  
**


	56. Part LVI A HundredOdd Hells to Face

A/n- I know, I am evil. Mwuhahahahaha! Well, I had to make the Americans the bad guys, it was just bothering me. And about Caleb... Hehehehehheehehehe, you'll see :) In due time my friends, in due time.  
  
Disclaimer- I own nothing except my annoyingly diabolical cliffhangers and noncannon characters. o_O  
  
Rating- PG-13 for a very unhappy Remmie-kins.  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LVI - A Hundred-Odd Hells to Face  
  
  
  
Panting, soaked in his comrade's blood, Remus pushed his way through the doors of the Muggle hospital. Every spare eye turned to greet him, to welcome him to the last stop before hell.  
  
A little help please? he whispered, exhausted. So many miles, running. So many stares, wayward glances and disapproving eyes. So much blood...  
  
Here sir, take a seat.  
  
One of the emergency room nurses helped lift Caleb onto a wheeled stretcher, connecting him to a tank of oxygen immediately. He was pushed away, Remus taking an unsteady step after him.  
  
Sir, you'll have to wait outside. the nurse informed gently, putting her hand out to stop him. The double-doors swung mockingly as the injured werewolf disappeared from sight, teasing Remus cruelly.  
  
He's allergic to silver. It'll kill him. he said monotonously, his voice cracking in fear.   
  
I'll let the doctor know, now please sir, take a seat.  
  
He was shot six times...  
  
Sir, _please_. You need to go to the waiting room.  
  
He let himself be directed by the young woman, led to a quiet room devoid of any other occupants. She was saying something, probably encouraging him, assuring him that his friend would be fine. After a long lapse of time, he was handed a clipboard of paperwork.  
  
I don't know any of this...  
  
Fill it out as best you can sir. she said brightly, smiling again. He wanted to tell her to stop smiling, but he couldn't muster the strength.  
  
Is there a phone anywhere? he murmured, eyes devoid of emotion, drained entirely of life force.  
  
Down the hall, on the right.  
  
  
  
Remus? Jesus Christ, where are you? I was waiting at the station all afternoon, and Sirius said you'd left early on broom... Rem? Whoa, calm down Remus, what's going on? You're talking nonsense.  
  
They're gonna die. Remus sputtered. The boys, Corey n Jason... And Caleb. They aren't going to make it Rom, they aren't...  
  
Where the hell are you? the voice asked over the receiver.  
  
Some hospital... Maryland. he said pathetically, falling back against the wall.  
  
What are you doing in the States? his brother asked, concerned. In the background he was telling Shelly to be quiet, and start the car. Are you hurt? Remus, what's-  
  
They aren't going to make it. God Rom, I can't believe it... Caleb, I mean...  
  
Remus, stay where you are. I'm going to go to the Underground, alright? I'll find out where you are-  
  
There's no point. he sobbed, face twisted in hatred for the cruelties of life. No chance...  
  
_Stay there_. the voice snapped. I'll be right over, okay? Just hang on for an hour, I swear I'll get there as fast as I can. Hold on Rem, I'll be right there. he repeated.  
  
The phone line clicked off, and Remus slipped down to the floor. The receiver was swinging absently from its cold metal line, lightly bumping the wall every second or so. After a moment, the incessant buzzing changed to the dead voice of some operator.  
  
A little bead of saltwater dropped down his face, followed by another.  
  
It happens all over again. he muttered, eyes blacked out as if he were dead. It always happens, again... And again...  
  
Some passing boy with a casted arm pointed, tugging at his mother's sleeve. They walked hurriedly by, not acknowledging the bloody man as anything to spare pity for.  
  
  
  
Remus! God, what happened?  
  
He was embraced fiercely, protectively pulled in without regard for the mess. Romolus let him go after a moment, trying to ignite some life into his brothers' eyes.  
  
Are they alright? Remus mumbled his insides burning painfully.  
  
Yes, the boys are fine. That doctor fellow, Theodore, he said they'd be perfectly fine. Romolus assured, still firmly gripping at his brother's shoulder. But what the hell happened Rem, why are you so bloody? Are you hurt? he asked urgently, shaking his brother to wake him from the daze. Remus shook his head, and swallowed.  
  
Caleb, he ran into trouble at the Ministry... God dammit Rom, I don't think he's going to make it. He's been in the emergency room for two hours... he whimpered, not looking up to meet his sibling's face. The nurse that keeps coming by just shakes her head every time she passes.  
  
It'll be alright Rem, come on. You know he'll be fine. Romolus said with obvious relief that Remus wasn't injured. You lot never give in, you know that. He pulled him close again, selflessly offering his own strength. Don't worry little brother, he'll be fine.  
  
I hope so Rom, dear God... I promised him, I can't live with it if he-  
  
He's going to be perfectly fine. Romolus interrupted. Trust me, he'll be alright.  
  
Accepting the shoulder ot lean on, Remus closed his eyes, blocking out the dim light of the haunting lamps. He nodded in self-assurance, at long last returning the warm embrace.  
  
Yeah, he'll be okay...  
  
  
  
  
Romolus asked, slipping out from underneath his sleeping brother.  
  
the woman asked, stopping before she went into her neat little office.  
  
There was a young man brought in a few hours ago, gunshot wounds. Caleb Simmers?  
  
Oh, yes... she said, frowning deeply after a moment of recollection.   
  
Is he alright?  
  
The nurse glanced back at Remus, sleeping spread across four of the stiff chairs. She closed her eyes to suppress her shiver, and swallowed.  
  
He is in very serious condition. We're trying all we can, but...  
  
He'll live though, wont he? Romolus asked quickly.  
  
As I said sir, he's beyond what we can guarantee at the time.  
  
Running a hand through his messed hair, Romolus nodded sadly.  
  
Is he your brother? the nurse asked curiously, glancing between the two in comparison.  
  
  
  
Are either of you, er, related to the man brought in? she questioned with a hint of disapproval.  
  
He's a friend. Romolus assured. And my little brother will be destroyed if he doesn't pull through. He's lost a lot already, both of us. Our parents, and just about everyone he care's much for. It's hard for him to find anyone that sticks around very long.  
  
So young, too. the nurse reflected with a tutt. We'll do all we can, but at this point, I don't know if that's much.  
  
When can he see him? He isn't going to rest soundly until he can at least see Simmers.  
  
I should expect soon, they're finishing up in the OR. she informed, checking a computer screen on the nearby desk. Yes, a few hours if you'd like.  
  
Romolus nodded,d and turned to go.  
  
Um, sir?  
  
  
  
I really hate to bother you with this at the moment, but... There's forms that need to be filled out, if you will. she said, and pursed her lips. And some financial questions...  
  
he mumbled absently, and the nurse went off without pestering him.  
  
Romolus walked back over to the makeshift bed, and lightly tapped his beaten brother.  
  
Remus, wake up. Come on... he said quietly. With a disgruntled yawn, he sat upright, and looked around.  
  
He alright? Remus asked immediately.  
  
Romolus chuckled, and nodded. Yeah, he's doing better. Let's go get some food before the cafeteria closes. he suggested, pulling Remus to his feet.  
  
Not hungry.  
  
Nonsense. The day you're not hungry magic will fail. Romolus laughed, pushing Remus along in the proper direction.  
  
  
  
  
Address? What the hell do I put for address?  
  
Make something up. Romolus suggested.  
  
Occupation, oh, they'd love to know that. Assisting in the escape of wizard-captured werewolves'. Remus snorted sarcastically. With a solemn shrug, he scribbled in a bunch of illegible lies, scowling at the paperwork.  
  
This is a load of dung. he grumbled some time later. I'm neurotic in worry and they make me file some bloody paperwork.  
  
The pen chose a very inconvenient time to quit producing ink, resulting in Remus violently digging it against the paper in an effort to revive it.  
  
he snapped, word by word. Romolus grabbed him, covering his hand and ultimately stopping him from destroying the instrument.  
  
Remus said under his breath, dropping the pen.  
  
You need to relax before you drive yourself completely mental. Romolus said gently. I know you've got a lot on your mind-  
  
You don't know the half of it. Remus murmured, resting his head in his hands. Raking his fingers through his hair, he took in a deep breath, and shut his eyes.  
  
Why the hell does there have to be two different wars in my life?' he mused.   
  
First Elise, then Alex, now Caleb and the twins... How many people do I have to lose before I figure out what the hell everything means?'  
  
  
  
I'll wait outside, if you need me. Romolus said, despite the fact that Remus wasn't listening at all. The nurse had at long last allowed him entrance to the room, making anything else completely obsolete.  
  
Fighting the urge to be ill on the clean linoleum floors, he helped himself to chair, pulling it up near the side of the bed.  
  
God, this is one of those requests. he whispered. I could use a little sign of your acknowledgment right about now.  
  
He shut his eyes, clammy hands clasped together in blinded faith.  
  
The hands of the clock whirled by, passing through the minutes in cut time. Remus wasn't sure, but well over two hours later, he opened his dreary eyes to a faint stir.  
  
This isn't hell.  
  
Remus cracked into the widest grin he had produced in months, heartily laughing in delight.  
  
No, it most certainly isn't. he said, eyes wide in awe.  
  
Can't be heaven. Caleb tried to grumble, his voice muffled by whatever device was that was over his face. 'Less you're dead too. Thought I... No, can't be heaven. Elise'd be here. he concluded, shutting his eyes. He took in a strangled sort of breath, his face contoured in extreme pain. Heaven wouldn't hurt like this. So maybe it is hell.  
  
Remus said brightly, his eyes watering for another reason than before.  
  
Suck it up Lupin. he grumbled, trying desperately to move his fingers. You look like your about to cry or something. He smiled very slightly, and nudged his head in indication. A second later he cursed, and decided to stop forcing his damaged muscles to cooperate.  
  
How... How are you? Remus asked, fighting to make his face straight.  
  
Not dead. As far as I can guess, anyway. Caleb said softly, his voice beginning to reflect the strain he felt. Near-death experiences seemed not to damper his spirits though, nor his sarcasm, in the slightest.   
  
Where the hell am I anyway? This place is too blindingly white to be the Underground, and for that fact, I'm not dead. You're quite sure I'm alive, correct?  
  
Remus nodded with a grin, and let out a breath he had been holding for the longest time.  
  
Everything's alright...  
  
With a rattled sigh, Caleb set off an arsenal of beeping devices. He grimaced painfully, and rolled away from Remus. In a typical display of neurotic worry, he called for a nurse and panicked wonderfully.  
  
  
  
  
Sit still for God's sake. Romolus chuckled.  
  
That damn doctor has been in there for hours. What the hell is he doing? Remus grunted impatiently, trying to peer though the fogged glass of the room door.  
  
Making sure he'll live, that's what. Now will you please just _sit down_? You're acting like you're five years old in a sweets store.  
  
Sorry for being concerned. Remus snapped. Kind of hard to be nice and calm, you know. I just nearly lost three of my closest friends, and then some. It's hard enough being reminded of Elise every waking minute on top of worrying about him. he said, jerking his thumb at the door. Not to mention wondering how the hell the twins are doing. It's very nerve racking. he blurted out very quickly.  
  
Yes, I'd imagine. Romolus interrupted before his brother could continue to rant anymore. Remus, he's going to be here a long time, you heard the doctor. He might not recover for months-  
  
You don't know Caleb. Remus said quickly.  
  
Yes, well I know enough of your kind to figure that much. Safe to assume you're going to try to break him out of here? he asked with the slightest hint of a smirk.  
  
Remus went red, and shrugged.   
  
I know you too well. Romolus sighed, and clamped a hand on his brother's shoulder. There's no fooling me Rem, not after I've been with you so long.  
  
Romolus smiled, and tried to console his depressed sibling.  
  
Come on, let's go back to the Underground. Simmers needs to sleep for a while without you pestering him every five minutes.  
  
Hey, I did-  
  
Come on little brother. Romolus chuckled, puling him away from the door.  
  
  
  
I'll get them to Theo, he's the only one who'll understand a word of it. Garade said with a nod, taking the stolen file of Caleb's medical information. He turned to go, but stopped, and looked over his shoulder.  
  
You know, everyone here is going to hail you as a saint. he pointed out under the dim light of a flickering lantern. You saved the savior.  
  
I nearly got him killed. Remus said bitterly. I'm no hero...  
  
Tell that to your lot.  
  
My lot? he asked quietly, not understanding.  
  
The group of three you brought in, what was left of them. Or were they Caleb's-  
  
There were six. he recalled, eyes widening.   
  
There were three. Garade said firmly, sure of himself. Don't bother worrying. It isn't your fault and you sure as hell have better things to stress over.  
  
Shaking his head, Remus let a small sigh escape. You're right. he admitted, looking around for the unfamiliar hut he assumed the twins would be in. I need to find the kids.  
  
He too started to wander off, pausing only after he realised he had no idea which house he was supposed to stay in. With a tiny smirk, Garade pointed down the street, departing in the opposite direction.  
  
  
Hey Remus. Melhane said softly, greeting him with a very weak smile as he dropped his satchel at the door. Compared to the previous shack, Caleb's new residence was a mansion, furnished with wooden floors and belongings that weren't battered to the point of breaking. The Underground had apparently found a way to repay their debt to the man.  
  
How are they doing? he asked immediately, sitting himself down on a nearby chair.  
  
Jason's staying over at a another house, this side of town is so condensed with the plague it's dangerous to keep partial-recoveries here. the young woman informed, nodding thoughtfully. For whatever reason, Corey's still terrible, but he's putting up one hell of a fight. She pointed over to the corner, to a slightly imperfect door cracked open. He's in there sleeping, if you want to see him. You shouldn't though.  
  
Why's that? Remus asked, closing his eyes and leaning back. His back shifted along the way, and bones creaked into relaxation, a feeling almost forgotten recently.  
  
You've had your share of heartbreak. Melhane said in a near-whisper, her eyes beginning to water. What with Caleb, and everything I've figured about your life...  
  
Funny, everyone always tells me I'm blessed to have the life I live. Remus said with a contradicting sort of chuckle.  
  
She shook her head, frowning seriously. I'd say it's cursed, I mean we all are, but you... You face a lot. Most of us only put up with the pain and hatred for a while, and God be praised for delivering us here, but you're fighting a battle that can't be won. she said, placing her hands on her knees and leaning forward. She stared ito Remus grey eyes, trying to peer into his very soul. All of us are safe and secure in our own little world now, we have each other to rely on and the constant comfort of normality. You're tossed around like some wind-blown debris, thrown between two worlds, neither of which you fit.  
  
You sound like an old friend of mine, Elise. Remus mumbled, beginning to drift asleep. There was only so long the mind could go lasting on worry and concern until human nature took over.  
  
I know who she is. We all know everyone's story. Melhane said, wiping at her eyes discretely. Except yours, Remus. None of us know your story.  
  
I don't have one. he said simply, pushing away the rest of his woes for a few minutes of sleep, a few short seconds of escape.  
  
Everyone has a story, even those who don't realise it. she said gently, laying a blanket down on top of him. Instinctively, he pulled it to his chest, and shifted about to find comfort. Soon enough, he was lost in the sanctuary of darkness and oblivion.  
  
I guess you'll just have to find your own story.  
  
  
  
  
Caleb glared at his visitor with obvious disapproval. He tried to roll to the other side, to face away from Remus, but found it to be horrifically painful.  
  
Remus read his eyes, and understood what was being said non verbally.  
  
Oh yes, it's terribly reassuring to see you on life support. Remus said with a roll of his eyes. Give me a break, I just wanted to make sure you weren't dead.  
  
Caleb choked out through the various tubes running through his system.  
  
You can cut that out, you know. Remus frowned. The doctors said that you'd survive. Part of his mind knew that to be a lie, but the majority was perfectly happy believing otherwise. He heard only what he wished to hear, and there was no denying his mental perception.  
  
Bunch of wankers if you ask me. Caleb grumbled, trying to reach the alert buzzer on his bed table. Remus had moved it a few inches out of arm span a moment earlier. Smiling, Remus picked up the little device.  
  
Trying to get me kicked out again? he laughed.  
  
Caleb snapped. Can't a man die in peace? His voice remained inconsistent, delayed, as he struggled to piece the words together.  
  
You aren't going to die for God's sake! Remus snapped back. Do you even _listen_ to the doctors around here?  
  
With all that damn medication it's a bit hard to pay attention. he said sloppily. After a long pause to accept the supportive artificial lungs assistance, he shut his eyes. Not like they care anyway... I can't pay for this. he said, attempting to indicate all the machinery around his bed, to little success.  
  
It's taken care of. Remus said hastily.  
  
God dammit kid, don't go wasting your money on me.  
  
Why are you so fixated on the idea that you aren't going to live?' Remus questioned, getting rather annoyed.  
  
See that, o'er there?  
  
  
  
That's my heart. And that one, it takes care of my lungs. And the one to the left... It controls my blood flow, and that one circulates air for me. This keeps my throat open... And this, this is how I eat', and-  
  
Remus nodded, understanding slightly. But once you get better, you wont need all this, you know...  
  
You said it'd be a few months, right? Caleb asked, finally turning to meet the gaze. The portion of his face that wasn't bandaged was still swelled with bruises and scars that would last forever. Remus looked away.  
  
That's what the doctors told me...  
  
In a few days it's the full moon. Caleb reminded after a pause. He moved his one functional arm, and lightly tapped his chest. This body of mine, it's not going to make it through a transformation.  
  
  
  
You don't _get_ it! Caleb interrupted, eyes on the brink of watering. It was a pathetic sight, witnessing a broken man try to be passionate amidst so much pain. You just don't get it kid, there's no chance. None... The bullets were enough, forty microliters of pure silver in my blood... Hell, if it had been a day closer to the moon I'dve been dead on the spot. You went and made sure I suffered for a week more, and now I'm going to waste away here in a _Muggle_ hospital. He smiled weakly, momentarily thinking of their reaction to finding a werewolf in place where a patient had been.  
  
Then I'll take you to Mungos. Remus said bitterly, clenching his teeth together in anger. Or anywhere, it doesn't matter! You are NOT going to die on me, alright? Alright?  
  
Caleb's icy hand grasped at Remus' fingers snapping him back from his second of grief. Forcing a genuine smile and glimmer in his shallow eyes, he shook his head lightly, confirming his own accepted fate.  
  
We went through this before kid, Registration is worse than death. he reminded quietly. Go on and get back to town, I'm sure they'll need a while to take this all in.  
  
I can't, there's no way... You aren't going to die. You're perfectly fine, and... How can you just give up on us? Dammit, we need you there. Remus stammered, sliding to the edge of his chair.  
  
Calm down kid, thing's aren't going to change. Caleb said, smiling in a distant way. It's not a big deal-  
  
You're giving up! Remus interrupted loudly. You just plainly accept the fact that you're going to die, and dammit, I wont do that!  
  
Listen to me for a moment. Caleb said shortly, another assisting apparatus humming its warning. There is _no_ chance for me anymore, I can't have the life I wanted. It's gone, plain and simple. You're still here, and you're damn lucky to be where you are.  
  
I'm lucky that one of my best friends is dying? Remus asked, head bowed low. Lucky that one by one everyone I care for is disappearing from my life while I just sit by? Dammit Caleb, I can't take it, and I wont stand for it. I'm not going to just watch from a safe distance as you give up, I'm tired of losing everything.  
  
You have friends, family that will unconditionally love you, and you have the closest thing to a normal life any werewolf has ever managed. Caleb reminded calmly. So you've lost Elise, and your brother isn't always there, but he still cares for you. And that insane lot of yours... They'd do anything to help you. Open your eyes and maybe you'll realise you have more blessings than I could ever hope for.  
  
It's not a blessing when you lose two people you care for. he mumbled, eyes leaking despite the effort to control it. A little voice reminded it may be more, but it was silenced.  
  
You knew it wouldn't last. Caleb said quietly, his chest rising unsteadily every few seconds. I live my life on the edge of a knife, youdamn well knew it wouldn't be long before I slipped up. I let you get too attached, coming along all those times. I suppose I felt a little sorry for you Lupin. he reflected. You're too uptight for your own good, and you blame everything on yourself. Even now, hell, I bet you feel guilty for me! That's it, isn't it?  
  
Faintly, Remus nodded. He could have, _should_ have gone back sooner, maybe Caleb wouldn't have been hurt. He should have stayed, the two of them would have gotten out alright...  
  
  
  
Looking up through distorted vision, he found his bedridden companion to be glaring at him angrily, his blackened eyes narrowed.  
  
You shouldn't be talking... Remus mumbled. It's hurting you.  
  
Yeah, well tough. I have some stuff to say while I still can. Caleb snapped.   
  
You're doing it again. he pointed out disapprovingly. It's not your fault, get that in your head. Nothing is your fault, none of this anyway.  
  
He nodded, wiping his eyes on his forearm.   
  
Make it easy for yourself, just walk out that door. Caleb said, pointing as best as he could manage in his condition. Pretend that you'll come back tomorrow. But don't. he said firmly. All you have to do is just keep walking, and not look back.  
  
Getting to his feet, Remus nodded again. He opened his mouth to say something but was instantaneously interrupted.  
  
No goodbyes. Just go.  
  
Remus walked through the doorway, eyes burning red with a fine mixture of grief and anger. Halfway down the eerily white hallway, he turned, and gazed back at the closed doorway, room one-thirteen.  
  
I'm coming back. he promised before running away as fast as his legs would carry, escaping his hell.  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Yeah, I know. Weird chapter full of rubbish... Review though, kay? Pweeeeese?  
  
**Iggie  
  
  
**Fic of the Day- The Dark Side of the Moon by Finding Beauty: **Remus Lupin finds himself in the sanctuary of a gypsy camp, and gains the infallible understanding of proper grief. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. Dunno bout you all, but I simply loved it.  
  
http://fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1118610  
  
(I'll be adding URL's from now on, by request)


	57. Part LVII Tomorrow's Wind

A/n- I've had some evil chapters lately, no? Hehe...  
  
Disclaimer- I own positively nothing except my eeeeeeevil plot bunnies. (Where the hell did that expression come from anyway?)  
  
Rating - PG-13 cause I'm a potty mouth and Caleb is none too healthy.  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LVII - Tomorrow's Wind  
  
  
  
  
Is he alright?  
  
Doesn't exactly look it. James observed.  
  
Probably had one of his infamously horrible vacations. Peter suggested.  
  
Should we ask, or...  
  
I think he wants left alone.  
  
You're a waste of thought Peter, bugger off. Sirius interrupted with a scowl.  
  
No, he's right. Moony usually needs time to himself after these kind of things.  
  
We don't even know what happened though...  
  
Come on, let's just go torment Snape. James said, pulling his two friends out of the compartment.  
  
Eyes locked on the passing landscape, Remus took in a breath of air sadly.  
  
Tomorrow's the full moon. he reminded himself. And here I am, going back to Hogwarts...  
  
He dug into his pocket, and pulled out the letter the Underground had collaborated for him.  
  
_Lupin,  
  
We're going to get him tonight. Don't bother coming, he'll only be more pissed I'll assume. We'll write later, hopefully with good news. How the hell did we get in this mess? He breaks us free, and now we have to do the same... Life sucks.  
  
_Hiya dad.  
  
Remus jumped, and let the letter flutter to the floor of the train slowly. Blinking, still believing that he was daydreaming, he tried to collect a reason as to why he was seeing the image of a sickly Corey standing before him.  
  
Oh, Remmie, right? Sorry, I forgot. the little hallucination corrected with an innocent smile. He dug into his pockets, biting his tongue in thought, and produced a small little cluster of gold.  
  
Ya left this at home. Corey announced as he rubbed his stuffy nose on his sleeve, dropping the cloak clasp in Remus' lap. He felt the impact, and twitched.  
  
I must be going insane. he told himself, running a hand through his messy hair.  
  
Dad says you're crazy. Corey said with a smile, climbing onto Remus' lap in desire for attention. Says you need to not worry bout other people so much. Where is Dad anyway? He ent been home in a while. Blue eyes glittering, he waved his hand in front of Remus' face, giggling to himself, waiting for a response. Ya asleep Remmie?  
  
Remus finally asked, blinking periodically.   
  
Uh huh? the little boy answered, leaning back and crossing his legs on his psuedo-fathers lap.  
  
How... How did you get on the train? Remus questioned, face contoured in confusion.  
  
You left early in the mornin', and I wasn't awake in time ta say goodbye. So I took Mellie's broom and I went after ya. he said with another innocent grin.  
  
You _flew_ after me?  
  
I tol'ja I was a good Quidditch player. I'm gonna be a Chaser someday, me'n Jason. Cept he isn't as fast, and he was at Mikes. So I came after you. Corey repeated. He reached up with a pale hand, and flicked Remus on the nose. He jumped down a second later, coughed violently for a moment, then went back to the conversation.  
  
You sure ya aren't asleep?  
  
Corey, you can't be on this train. Remus finally said, snapping back to reality.   
  
Why not? Dad says I can go ta Hogwarts when I'm older if I wanna. And I just wanted ta say goodbye, cause you left, and I was asleep. he said with a little shrug. So where're your friends? I wanna go play.  
  
You don't understand Corey, you can't be here. You aren't allowed. Remus repeated.  
  
Why not? Dad said... Corey trailed off, frowning only because Remus was. He didn't know what was wrong, but he pretended he understood, and continued to act solemn. Where's Dad?   
  
Didn't he come home last night? Remus recalled, looking briefly at the letter lying on the floor.  
  
Uh uh. Mellie was cryin' all night-  
  
Oh my GOSH! Look, he's so cute!  
  
A group of seventh year girls came in the compartment, squealing in delight at the sight of the child.  
  
Oh, he's adorable! one of the Gryffindors said, smiling down at the now happy Corey. He looks just like you Remus, is he your little brother? You know, Romolus never said he had _two_ little brothers. she said with a stupid grin.  
  
I'm not his brother. Corey interrupted before Remus could stop him. He's my Dad.  
  
The four girls stopped smiling, and looked from Corey, to Remus, then to each other with looks of disgust. The Gryffindor, Lauren, took her hand off his shoulder.  
  
He's your... Son? she asked slowly.  
  
No, you see, he, well- Remus stammered, face going red. I'm not his _father_, I just-  
  
Remmie takes care'a me and my brother, since my Mummy died. Corey contributed.  
  
He's not my child, I mean not like, I just, I just take care of him, and- Remus tried to blurt out.  
  
Hey Moony, we found- Oh, hello ladies. Sirius said, bowing slightly in greeting. He had just burst through the sliding door, covered in little puffs of cotton and fabric fragments from some exploded pillow, followed by James and Peter.  
  
Who's the little brat? Peter asked.  
  
Hiya Uncle Sirius. Hiya James. Corey waved, wiping his nose again.  
  
So _who_ is this kid? Peter repeated, the girls asking the same question soon after.  
  
Somebody get a professor. Remus whined, slumping down into a chair as his once quiet compartment became a chaotic room of flying questions and small explosions from Sirius.  
  
  
  
Mr. Lupin, can you please calm him down? McGonnagal asked stiffly, thoroughly irritated. She had instantly showed her disapproval of small children the moment Remus and Corey had entered her office, and had continued to do so for several minutes of the young boys crying.  
  
Corey, look at me. Remus said sternly, tapping him on the head. He looked up, eyes red and watery, sniffling constantly.  
  
I want Da here. he said quietly, diverting his eyes after a moment.  
  
Well Caleb is sick, okay?  
  
People keep yellin' at me. he said as he started to cry softly again. I dunno what I did wrong... I jus' wanted to say g'bye.  
  
Mr. Lupin, he-  
  
Can you just shut up for a moment? Remus snapped, not caring for respect at the moment. Surprisingly, Professor McGonnagal nodded and sat back down at her desk.  
  
It's alright, and I'm sure the professors are all very sorry they yelled at you. he said, glaring at the Transfiguration instructor out of the corner of his eye. You weren't supposed to come here, that's all.  
  
Just wanted to say g'bye, you hardly ever come home. Corey pouted.  
  
I know. Remus said with a guilty sigh. But right now you need to stop crying, alright? No one's mad, and you aren't going to get in any trouble.  
  
Ya sure Dad?  
  
Closing his eyes and mentally picturing the shocked look of his teachers face, Remus nodded simply.  
  
A nice lady named Madame Pomfrey is going to come and take you back on the train, she already talked to Melhane. Madame Pomfrey's going to take you back to the station, okay?  
  
Corey nodded, and blew his nose on his sleeve again. Remus conjured up a few tissues, and leaned forward, giving him a quick kiss on the forehead. With an encouraging smile, he ruffed Corey's hair and stood up.  
  
I have to go to dinner, ok?  
  
Can I come? Corey asked, suddenly bright at the mention of food.  
  
I'll tell you what, Remus said, shrugging slightly. I'll go and bring you a special sandwich.  
  
The one's with steak n ham n' cheese   
  
Yup, my special. Remus assured, bending down to accept the quick hug.   
  
On one condition.  
  
What's that?  
  
No more crying. And you have to promise to never follow me out of town again.  
  
Corey agreed, smiling. He waved as Remus left for dinner, leaving a very befuddled Deputy Headmistress to care for the destructive five year old.  
  
  
So who was that kid again? Peter whispered as soon as Remus slipped into his seat. The Marauders rolled their eyes, and each tossed a biscuit his way.  
  
  
  
You know, he's not really my son. Remus said with a hidden smile during Transfiguration. Caught off guard, McGonnagal dropped her register and turned to face him.  
  
His parents died, and me and my friend are taking care of him. he explained.  
  
I never asked. she said stiffly, pursing her thin lips.  
  
You stared. Very openly at that. Remus said as he continued to try and transfigure his mouse into a cat.  
  
I did no such thing... the professor snapped, walking away quickly.  
  
Over a few tables, Sirius smirked.  
  
Wish I could drive teachers off that fast, without causing bodily harm I mean. he commented.  
  
I don't do it intentionally. Remus muttered with a disgruntled sort of shrug. They just don't fancy me much.  
  
The bell rang out half-past eleven, and the Gryffindors gratefully packed their bags, rushing out the door for Defense. The tense and uneasy feeling since Horder's return had lifted since, and students were itching to know what had happened during her disappearance. With a thick air of wonder and expectation, they gathered in the room across the hall and whispered to themselves for several moments.  
  
Alright, shut up you little ingrates. Ms. Horder snapped, slamming her bag of supplies down on her rarely used desk. The year's going to be over soon and frankly I am sick and tired of coming in every morning to find you congregating around Black or Snape and whatnot, rambling your little hearts out about God knows what.  
  
Someone's having a bad morning. James mumbled.  
  
Something to share, Mr. Potter? You always seem to.  
  
No Ma'am.  
  
Spit it out. she said icily, easily breaking his nerve.  
  
I was just commenting that you sound particularly, er, pissed off. he said with a shrug. We're all a bit curious, you know...  
  
Ms. Horder sat down on the desk, crossed her legs and momentarily drove the men in the room insane. It was only brief, as the women quickly slapped them for staring at her.  
  
You really want to know what happened? she asked softly, sharply. Her once brilliant blue eyes, now dulled angrily to a shade of grey, pierced into those of her students'. All the details, you want to experience secondhand the horrors of being taken in by followers of the Dark?  
  
Most of the room stood rigid in thought, possibly fearing movement. A select few nodded, Peter vigorously shaking his head in opposition.  
  
she said quickly, snapping out of her death-glare mood. Those who aren't fancy with the prospect can wait outside, or more accurately skip the rest of class for this week. Don't bother showing up if you have a weak stomach. She waited, tapping her foot lazily as several people glanced around nervously, not wanting to appear cowardly in front of their peers.  
  
Oh for God's sake, just leave if you don't think you can handle it! the professor snapped, pointing to the fire-scorched door. Because I quite assure you it will not be a pleasant romp through my mind!  
  
Hastily, a small assortment of Slytherins and Gryffindors hustled out the door, closing it cautiously behind them. Horder scowled at the rest of the class, and one more departed. Her final collection left, less than half of the students, swallowed and wondered if they were being wise.  
  
This is going to take a few days. she explained, suddenly calmer than before. I highly doubt all of you will be back tomorrow, and frankly I don't expect it. It's hell, and I intend of making every gruesome little detail and account perfectly clear. This is Defense Against the Dark Arts, and my ordeal was precisely that. Survival when pitted against the scum of mankind.  
  
The remaining class moved a little closer to one another, disregarding that Slytherin was trying to find comfort in Gryffindor.  
  
With a smirk, Ms. Horder began her tale.  
  
  
Excuse me. Sirius blurted out as the class was released. He ran off, shoving aside anyone in his way on mission to find the nearest toilet.  
  
It was that bad? Peter asked quietly, joining the crowd of others as they curiously asked about the class. The pack that had remained were all white-faced, shaking, and many looked as if they had just witnessed the death of a family member.  
  
Yes. It was that bad. James said quietly. It was ridiculously that bad... Shit, I think I'm going to lose my lunch. he grumbled. Lily let go of his arm, and shoved him off after Sirius.  
  
You alright Remus? she asked, peering at him strangely.   
  
He nodded and even managed to produce a small smile.  
  
Yeah, I'm alright.  
  
Shocked, Lily stood in front of him in wonder. Didn't that creep you out?  
  
When you've lived my life... he trailed off, and simply chose to walk away. Whispered followed him like a shadow, fingers pointing, curiosities formulating ideas.  
  
Remus was the only one to show up on time for Potions, one of the few to make it at all.  
  
  
  
Make sure you firmly hold the vile, dragonroot is far heavier than you may sus- Lupin! I said hold it firmly, not crush it! Forson barked.  
  
Sorry sir. Remus said through clenched teeth.   
  
What, and you better clean that before it-  
  
Sir, there's broken glass in my hand. he said painfully, trying not to pick at it.   
  
Cursing to himself, Forson swiftly made his way to the troublesome Gryffindor, and shook his head. Green slime lining his bloodied hand, Remus began to shake with uneasiness.  
  
It really _really_ hurts sir. he blurted out.  
  
the Potions Master barked, startling the boy who was still jumpy from Defense.  
  
  
  
Take Lupin to the Infirmary. Forson ordered. With apt reflexes, he grabbed Remus by his collar before he collapsed to the ground. And if he passes out, drag him there. It's important.  
  
James nodded, and quickly slung Remus arm across his shoulder for support.  
  
Why don't you go, he's hard to carry. James muttered.  
  
I'm staying here, for whatever reason you lot of insolent brats are more prone to disaster than usual. he explained coldly. And I really do suggest moving along Potter, dragonroot wasn't meant to enter the bloodstream. There was a hint of amusement in his voice which Remus briefly caught before another wave of dizziness washed over him. Steadying himself under the weight, James rolled his eyes and heaved his friend along out the door.  
  
  
  
Sorry Prof... Uhg, sorry, I'm still a bit queasy... Excuse me.  
  
Halfway down the hall, James watched with a grin as Sirius ran for the bathrooms as fast as he could.  
  
  
  
Ouch... Geroff you stupid bird. Remus mumbled, his mind still numb from the painkillers Madame Pomfrey had made him down. Swiping with his free arm, he drove the angry owl into submission. He snatched the letter, and swatted it out of the window.  
  
Stupid creature. Remus told himself, fighting to open the letter with only one hand. Breaking the weak wax seal, he smoothed it out, and tried to focus his eyes on the blurry words.  
  
_He isn't doing well Lupin, and Theo's stuck. We're out of supplies and I swear to God Caleb's just given up altogether. We need you here now.  
  
W.U.  
  
_Releasing a loud and obvious string of curses, Remus rolled out of bed, dragging his limp and numbed hand with him. He carelessly tossed on a robe, and shoved his way through one very disgruntled nurse.   
  
  
Come on, let me in! Please! he pleaded uselessly, banging on the stone gargoyle. This is an emergency, come ON! Someone's going to die if I don't get in!  
  
Much to his surprise, the gargoyle furrowed its eyebrows, and let out a small rolling grumble.  
  
My friend is in trouble and I need to see Dumbledore. he explained, feeling foolish for talking to a statue that couldn't comprehend anything he said. The stone beast shook its head after a moment of deliberation, and went rigid.  
  
GOD DAMMIT! he shouted, pounding his fist against the figure one last time. He dashed off, not noticing that he had broken one of the horns.  
  
  
  
Lupin, may I ask what you're doing in my storeroom, or-  
  
I've got one working hand, _sir_, but it's sure as hell enough to ward you off. Remus warned, continuing to ransack through the shelves of ingredients.  
  
Lupin! Touch one more thing and I'll-  
  
You'll do nothing. Remus interrupted angrily. I am NOT in a pleasant state of mind right now, _sir_, so don't tempt me. I swear to God, don't give me a reason to let the wolf out.  
  
He let out a triumphant Ah!' and stashed a box of ingredients into his now old and battered satchel. Forson barked at him, trying to block his way through the door, but was forced aside. He blinked, dumbfounded, as he fell against the dungeon walls. The even-tempered and docile werewolf was finally showing his true colours.  
  
You better not come back kid. he warned quietly, grinning with all the maliciousness in his twisted heart.  
  
  
  
If you aren't in my office by morning, I'll send myself to fetch you. And I assure you Lupin, that will outweigh your current worries.  
  
Remus stepped onto the portal square without a verbal display of gratitude, and instantly disappeared in a cloud of thick smoke.  
  
If I lose my job I'll be the first to kill him. she mumbled to herself with a hint of regret.  
  
Yeah? Well get in line. Professor Forson snapped from behind her, hanging in the doorway with a nasty scowl.  
  
  
  
Where is he?  
  
His angry yell was answered instantly by a very distraught woman who pointed to a small house at the end of the street. He took the distance in a manner of strides, and threw the door open.  
  
Now isn't a good time. the doctor, Theodore Kemble, said. Especially for you, from what I've heard.  
  
  
  
Remus pointed, eyes flaring dangerously with demanding authority. The wise elder, with a rueful shake of his head, put his hand up in defense.  
  
Far be it from me to attend to a dying man, I'm only a licensed doctor. he grumbled, walking quickly out the door.  
  
he yelled loudly, shaking the broken man's shoulder. With no response, he took a strand of hair from the nape of Caleb's neck and in one swift motion pulled it out. Two bloodshot and shallow eyes slowly opened to greet him.  
  
Didn't I tell you that you were going to live? Remus asked angrily, though smiling in relief. You should know by now I don't lie.  
  
Caleb closed his eyes, his face showing clearly all the pain he felt.  
  
Lupin? How'd...  
  
Emotionally susceptible professor. he muttered, not turning to greet the deputy-alpha.  
  
You're trying to save him, aren't you? Garade asked, staying in the doorway. It was another ability inherited from the curse, being able to sense tension. Much like a dog, he kept his distance.  
  
Isn't that what you summoned me here for? Remus shot back, unloading his satchel of ingredients. _Something_ was bound to help...  
  
No, it isn't. he said quietly, frowning. I called you because I firmly believe he's going to be dead by tomorrow morning. Figured you'd want to say goodbye, I don't know.  
  
Remus looked over his shoulder, his eyes making Garade take a few steps backwards instinctively.  
  
So you've given up too, huh? he asked quietly. Just like everybody else, you don't think he has a chance? You're going to abandon him without even _trying_?  
  
Don't even think that Lupin. Garade shot back, trying to maintain his sense of leadership in the situation. The Muggle hospital gave up on him, so we pulled him out before they let him die. Our own damn doctor, who owes his life to Caleb, can't do anything at all, and trust me, he's tried everything. No one wants him dead, so don't you even _begin_ to think we're giving up on nothing. he said icily. If there was even one thing we could do that would serve an ounce of good it would have been spared at any cost.  
  
Remus said in a near-whisper. Having a little faith, you could have spared that.  
  
Faith and logic are two different things. I don't know about you, but dammit, there's a point when faith wont do anything anymore. Hope is useless when there isn't the beginning of a chance!  
  
Sensing the hostility, Garade immediately withdrew from the room before a fight broke out.  
  
They're all worthless. Remus told Caleb, not expecting for a response.   
  
Hope can do more than any magic in the world, my mum always told me that. Romolus always said... he shook his head, and biting back his troubles, set to work.  
  
  
What's he doing?  
  
Poor thing can't let go, what a dear...  
  
He's a prat if you ask me.  
  
Shut up.  
  
Who're you to tell us to stop, you little twerp-  
  
He's determined, and he hasn't given up hope.  
  
The small crowd watched through the window in a pitying sort of awe as Remus struggled to brew a last chance.  
  
  
he mumbled, cursing his luck for only having one useful hand. Without second thought, he disregarded Madame Pomfrey's warning and unwrapped the thick bandages, revealing a swollen hand infected from the dragonroot.  
  
I can worry about it later. he rationalized, carefully testing his ability to hold a jar with his injured fingers. Not caring about the stinging pain, he went on, forcing himself to recall every excruciating detail and thought he had ever heard in Potions class, every line from the hundreds of book he had poured over in the Restricted Section.  
  
Half an hour later, he dropped the vile he was holding, and broke into a frightening grin.  
  
Thanks Snape, for once your worth the trouble. Remus mumbled to himself in delight, digging through his supplies in search of the one final shot at recovery. All your little mocking hisses pay off. he declared, dripping a single drop into his emptied cauldron. The solution sizzled, fizzed, and anxiously awaited its creation.  
  
  
  
Hours wasted away, countless ticks on the clock spent crouched over half-made potions and ingredients. Tired but determined to make a difference, Remus summoned every ounce of his strength to endure the dizzying effects of the smoke plumes, the aromas of poisons. His hand had long since blistered over, turning green and polluted from foreign substances invading his bloodstream. Still, it left no impact, and Remus toiled on.  
  
Someone get me a shard of harlon bark. he ordered, voice cracking from the fumes. He turned, hearing no response, and glared at the congregation of spectators.  
  
Do you think I'm talking to myself? he snapped. A small boy ran off with a look of fright, scurrying away from the angered imitation Healer.  
  
  
  
Here. You like smoked venison, right?  
  
Remus turned away from his work for the first moment in many hours, and stared at the plate he was presented with.  
  
I'm not the best chef, but... You look really tired, and that usually coincides with hunger for most of us. the girl said, nudging the food towards him with a quirky smile. She noticed his swollen hand, and bit her lip.  
  
You should go see Theodore about that, it's-  
  
Of no concern. Remus finished, ignoring the meal and the nosy woman that seemed to enjoy interrupting his work.  
  
That's very selfless and noble, and whatnot, but you need to live too. she said stubbornly, setting the deer meat down in front of him. You're going to eat it. she said indefinitely.  
  
Remus nodded slightly, and allowed himself to take a pause from his duty.  
  
Painfully, he lifted the fork to his mouth, swallowing a tiny portion of the gift. His hand shook, struggling to hold up the weight, and eventually gave in.  
  
She laughed.  
  
He glared maliciously.  
  
You shouldn't take everything so critically. the girl snapped. Remus squinted, and then snapped his fingers.  
  
You're that girl. he said with a broken voice.  
  
So now I'm that girl'? Pleasant. Nice to meet you.  
  
No, you're Helina. Remus interrupted, rubbing his throat in attempts to massage life into his voice.  
  
Yes. Now really, you need to eat. What with all the fumes and exhaustion you're going to pass out. You can't help him, she said, jerking her thumb at the motionless body nearby. if you can't help yourself.  
  
he grumbled, unable to bicker his way out of the logic. With a roll of his eyes, he downed the food, and went back to ignoring any outside stimulation.  
  
  
That can kill him.  
  
You think I don't know that? came the rhetoric quip.  
  
Hands scarred from the silver ore, Remus carefully held the beaker between quivering digits. His anxiety taking over, he sat on his knees at the side of Caleb's bed.  
  
You really are crazy. someone from the gallery commented.  
  
I'm not insane... Remus defended, hands shaking vigorously. Just,... I just can't accept it, I wont.  
  
Throwing aside all caution, he tilted the potion into Caleb's mouth, forcing him to swallow.  
  
The Underground held their breath as one, watching with narrowed eyes and skeptical hearts.  
  
I will _not_ let him die. Remus promised himself.  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Holy Mother of God that was long! I think this wins the Longest Chappie Award... Originally it was 12, but then I just kept adding on... And on... And on... And... You get the picture. I gotta stop making these things to lengthy. Ah well. Fat chance of that, no?  
  
REVIEW!!!  
  
**Iggie  
  
**One Note- **Alright, for some of the people commenting... This isn't intended as slash. For whatever reason, a few people are taking it that way. I guess i make Remus' bonds a bit too close or something... But for those wondering, no, there are no slashy feelings intended. Read it that way if that's your boat, but hey, it's not mine. Just tryin' to keep you all informed of my intentions, however twisted and angsty they are.   
  
o_O


	58. Part LVIII Dissolutus

A/n- And it goes on and on my friends....  
  
Disclaimer- Puh-lease... I may be a decent writer, but Lord Above, get real.  
  
Rating- A very stressed PG-13 for a very naughty Remmie-kuns.  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LVIII - Dissolutus  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Remus' eyes snapped open, and he stared, dumbfounded.  
  
God dammit, shit... Caleb continued angrily. Oh, Jesus Christ...  
  
  
  
Should of known it'd be you Lupin. Such immeasurable pain can only follow your trail. Caleb snapped, forcing his diluted eyes open. He winced again, and closed them to block the bright light, that was in real life very dim.  
  
Remus smiled, and let his hands fall to his side.  
  
You're... You're alright. he stammered.  
  
If by alright you mean in hellish amounts of pain... Then yes. Thanks. came the sarcastic reply. Really kid, why can't you just let me-  
  
Here, don't talk. Remus advised, leaning forward to help his friend. Caleb tried to push him away, to no success, and was rolled over on his side. Another trail of blood trickled from his mouth, spilling onto the nice hardwood floors.  
  
I'm not going to let you die. Remus said, grinning as wide as facial muscles would allow. He was greeted with a broken and pathetic scowl, one that didn't last very long.  
  
  
  
Both turned behind, and smiled as Jason climbed in through the window, having evaded the restrains of his psuedo-mother.  
  
Dad, are you ok now? he asked sweetly, his lips pressed. He was afraid to come any closer, scared by all the medical supplies and such. Clutching tight to his stuffed wolf toy, he remained by the wall, eyes questioning.  
  
Yeah, m'kay. Caleb struggled to say, trying not to spit out any more blood to frighten off his son. You alright?  
  
Jason nodded, and shrugged slightly. I guess. He glanced over at his other father, tired and dizzy, and silently asked if he could come closer. Remus held out his arms, and the little boy quickly filled them.  
  
Where's Corey? Remus asked, knowing it was what Caleb would say if he could spare the energy.  
  
He's still sleepin'. Mellie gave him some medicine 'r something, he's not awake yet. Jason explained. He sifted his weight, found a comfortable position, and leaned his head against Remus' chest for a pillow.  
  
Did'ja forget Da, it's our birthday soon?  
  
How could I? Caleb mumbled quietly, slipping his hand free. He ruffed Jason's hair, and let out a rattled sigh, smiling warmly.  
  
For the first time, he met eyes with Remus.  
  
I know. Remus answered. This is why I wouldn't let you go.  
  
Caleb nodded, and closed his eyes, falling back on the bed to rest his shattered body. Remus whispered something in Jason's ear, and he giggled, climbing atop his father with great care. The two fell asleep together, content in the others' presence.  
  
  
  
Hey, Lupin... Wake up.  
  
He opened his eyes slowly, and looked around in bewilderment.  
  
You passed out from all the fumes in there. I told you to crack a window open, you great prat. Helina said, trying to help him upright. He denied the effort, and did it himself with a small groan.  
  
  
  
she interrupted. And, er, you have a few... Visitors.  
  
The young girl stepped aside, and revealed a swarm of werewolves standing at the crooked doorway. Vision still unsteady, Remus tried to figure out whether or not his eyes were deceiving him.  
  
Thank you. a woman at the front of the pack said, bowing her head gratefully.   
  
  
  
You didn't give up, on anyone. another man said. Caleb and you, you guys never abandon anyone, not one of us. We'd all be dead...  
  
We were saved once, and you just saved us again.  
  
Remus shut his eyes, and shook his head. I didn't do anything worth praise. My friend was in trouble, and I helped him. This is my job, it's nothing to be seen as noble. he said. I honestly don't want any praise, alright? This is just my job...  
  
You weren't obligated to help any of us. an elderly man said with a half-smile. This disease, you didn't have to search for a cure. But you did. Any of us could have tried the same, and you were the only one to lift a finger. For this we have to thank you.  
  
Remus hung his head low, uncomfortable with the citizen's good words. After a long moment of silence, the majority disappeared after expressing their gratitude.  
  
Like it or not, you've saved us all more than once. Different circumstances, but it's all the same story. Helina muttered, brushing past him.  
  
  
  
Hey Remmie, are you stayin' with us?  
  
Remus rubbed his eyes, waiting for them to adjust to the dim light of the safety basement. In a moment he could see the twins huddled close to Caleb, sitting upright in a hammock slung from the corner walls. The older boy was fast asleep, already knocked out from the massive amounts of sedatives Remus had brewed.  
  
Not quite sure. he said with a smile, trying to keep the two little demons from frowning. I'm supposed to go back to school, but it's getting late.  
  
As always, Corey and Jason diverted their eyes, still feeling a deep-rooted shame of what they were. It was a scar that would never heal, embedded into their minds just as with every other that feared the moon.  
  
We were hoping' you'd stay tonight, you know. Corey began, his eyes wide.   
  
Now that Da's better, we thought you could stay a while. his duplicate finished.  
  
With a guilty sigh, Remus nodded his head, setting off a riot of delight that coaxed Caleb from his artificial sleep.  
  
Hey boys, why don't you go get some water for Caleb? Remus suggested. They quickly agreed, bounding up and down happily. Climbing atop each other, they knocked the leather gloves from their high perch and unlocked the pure-silver clasps to the door.  
  
Still use her idea. Caleb mumbled, shaking himself awake. Elise always was brilliant, annoyingly so at times.  
  
Ae you feeling any better? Remus asked, changing the subject before he felt the familiar twinge of pain.  
  
Every centimeter of me hurts, and it burns... Everywhere. Caleb said with a short smile. But I'm alive, so you did your job. Jesus though, you could have gone a little lighter on whatever it was you shoveled into my system. he grumbled, shifting on the netted swing.  
  
Remus said offhand.  
  
Come again?  
  
A classmate of mine once left silver ore in my schoolbag, it hurt so much I couldn't even sleep for a few days. Remus recalled. I figured all your body needed was a good shock. Kicked you right into working order, really.  
  
You could have _killed_ me! One deciliter can make a difference, I mean-  
  
It's not like you weren't dying anyway. Remus snapped, interrupting the outburst. You did a simply splendid job of doing yourself in.  
  
Caleb's cheeks went red, and he turned away to hide is own embarrassment.  
  
Your mind had given up, the body was just following suit. I forced it to wake up and roll into working order.  
  
Thanks, though. Caleb finally admitted. I just... You don't know what it's like, to-  
  
NO! I wanna give it to him! I got it, now _LET GO_!  
  
Remus chuckled, and quickly went off to separate the tiny brawling werewolves.  
  
  
  
He needs to get back to bed, Theodore's going to have my head if he can't tend to his patient.  
  
Nah, we should let them stay for while more. All the medicine in the world couldn't heal Caleb better than that kid...  
  
They're kind of cute like that.  
  
Melhane nodded, and smiled at her beloved who lay motionless in the corner.   
  
Such a shame they're too concerned about their best friend to notice us.  
  
Helina said with a small laugh.   
  
You must admit though, the older woman continued, still gazing at the pack of sleeping boys huddled together. They are pretty damn cute about being idiots.  
  
Stubborn idiots. Helina corrected.  
  
Outrageously moronic, illogical, downright foolish idiots.  
  
The two laughed to themselves, and went away to leave the content family to their own company.  
  
  
  
I was beginning to think you weren't coming back. Pity, Gryffindor needed a point reduction. Ms. Horder said with a smirk as Remus reappeared in her office.  
  
He dropped his satchel lightly on the ground, the bottles of leftover ingredients clinging merrily as they fell. Not a second later, he fell to the floor along with them.  
  
A strong pair of hands broke his fall, easing him against the wall.  
  
You always do find a way to ruin yourself. the Defense instructor said quietly, grabbing his injured hand. It was swollen twice its normal size, green with infection, wet from fluid. The cuts had reopened during his transformation the night before, and the two cubs couldn't resist gnawing at it playfully.  
  
She closed her eyes, and muttered some foreign spell. The wounds closed, his had shrunk, and the pain was numbed away.  
  
Speak not a word of it... Dark magic trick. she informed. So, how went your mission?  
  
Remus didn't answer, but his face silenced her question.  
  
Then we're alike... Fighting the same battle, yet in a different war. she mused. Difference being that you've won, I take.  
  
With a small grin, she forced him to his feet, and shoved him in the direction of the door.  
  
You'd better go, your friends have been searching this whole school for you. she said. After a pause, she chuckled at some unshared thought. So is Professor Forson. He's not too thrilled that you stole from him.  
  
Remus produced a fraction of a smirk, and held his tired body a little higher.  
  
I told him not to tempt the wolf.  
  
  
  
Moony! Jesus Christ, where have you BEEN? Sirius gapped, grabbing him by the shoulders as soon as he entered the Common Room. Remus took a step back, silently indicating he still ached from the full moon only hours passed.  
  
To briefly sum it up, I've been off testing my limited potion skills in order to keep a guy alive, sitting through one hell of a moon and running around for the past half hour trying to get away from Professor Forson. he said lightly. And how was your day, Padfoot?  
  
he answered with a wide grin. Probably not as productive as yours, but insane nonetheless. See, me and Carrie-  
  
More than enough of that story. Remus interrupted, shutting his eyes at the mental image he had conjured.  
  
Sirius smirked triumphantly, and slung an arm around Remus' shoulder, pulling him along across the Common Room.  
  
Come on, I need a few things from the Restricted section.  
  
Is that the only reason you've been looking for me? Remus asked, frowning.  
  
Nah, not all all. Sirius assured. James needed some help with a time-control water bomb.  
  
Glad to know I'm so missed.  
  
  
  
Hey Lupin, is it your birthday or something? Frank Keilts, the older Chaser, asked with a raised eyebrow. Remus shook his head, still staring at the four owls before him in confusion. It was rare for him to receive even one letter, let along four on one morning.  
  
No... Not for a while. he muttered.  
  
Here, I got it. James offered, calming down two of the irate birds with a bit of his omelet.  
  
_Remus-  
  
Caleb told me to write to you, poor guy can't really hold a quill right now. He's alright though, confined to bed rest by Theodore but it isn't anything critical. Finish school up soon, we rightly need you back here. Garade has to stay back to keep the town together and we're pretty restless without a strong leader. Hurry home,  
  
Melhane Bright  
  
(The boys send their regards)  
  
_You might want to take this one, blooming owl wont leave. I think he wants it delivered properly. James said, struggling to keep the agitated bird from biting him. Remus promptly took the letter, and the bird took off, mission complete.  
  
I thought your birthday was in a week. Sirius said, finally having diverted his gaze from the Hufflepuff seventh year girls.  
  
It is. Remus mumbled, picking at the wax seal carefully.  
  
_Moony  
  
How's Caleb doing now? I haven't heard from you in a while, just wondering if you're alright with everything. I'm doing pretty well, I got a job with the Ministry yesterday. Maybe I can browse some files for you. Anyway, I just thought you'd like to know that Shell's pregnant. Scary, isn't it? I have to go, a lot needs to be done now.   
  
Stay tough little brother,  
  
Romolus  
  
  
_Laughing openly in shock, Remus shook his head.  
  
I cannot believe it! he said joyously, overwhelmed with the news.  
  
Everything okay? James asked, more than worried that his friend had finally lost his righteous mind.  
  
Just peachy. Remus replied, smiling in delight. Everything's perfect. For once, I swear to God Prongs, everything is fine.  
  
  
_  
  
Don't complain. he interrupted, kneeling down with a stern, quirky sort of frown. You've whined the entire trip and it's giving me a headache.  
  
the eleven year old said with a shrug, biting his lower lip. I'm tired... When are we gonna have our own place? I hate moving around so much.  
  
I know, I know. Romolus sighed, closing his eyes. I'd make things better if I could, but there's nothing I can do right now.  
  
I want to go back to mum.  
  
We can't. he said sharply, snapping the notion from his sibling's mind. You shouldn't want to go back Remus, mum abandoned us. She left us this way. He extended his arm outward, indicating the shabby homeless shelter they were lodged at for the night. On your life, don't you dare wish to go back to that woman.  
  
Sensing the resent in Romolus' voice, he simply nodded.  
  
Can I come to Hogwarts next year? Remus asked quietly several minutes later, having settled uneasily on a stained cot.  
  
Dippet hates- Er, he isn't very comfortable with werewolves. Romolus explained softly, trying to smile to lessen the news. And you don't need Hogwarts anyway, not at all. I'll bet you already know more magic than a third year.  
  
With a hint of pride, Remus nodded eagerly.  
  
I studied all year and I memorized all the books you sent. he blurted out, gripping at the tattered wand in his pocket. But Rom...  
  
  
  
I still wanna go.  
  
Pulling his brother close, Romolus embraced the confused boy barely younger than he.  
  
I know Remus, but life isn't fair like that. Not right now anyway.  
  
When're thing's going to change? Or... Everyone's always going hate me, aren't they? he asked painfully, ashamed of himself.  
  
I wont lie to you Remus, so... Yes, a lot of people are going to be afraid of you.  
  
It isn't fair! the little boy cried, slamming his fist down. His hand bore through the tight cotton, leaving another shred to the already mangled bed.  
Romolus took his hand, and gripped it tight.  
  
Life is never fair Remus, but you absolutely _must_ not let it get to you. he said firmly. The only way we're going to make it in this world is if you can keep a good outlook.  
  
It's hard Rom. the little boy said quietly, looking down at the cracked tile.  
  
It's hard for everyone. Look around, see? All these people are going through hard times, we're all alike. None of them deserve to be here, and some that have everything deserve this instead.  
  
I deserve this. Remus mumbled, his pale face scrunched up in anger.  
  
No you don't, don't ever think that Rem. Romolus declared, nudging his brother in the side to make him listen. Whatever anyone tells you, and whatever you may hear, you never deserve the hate. You've done nothing wrong, okay?  
  
Yeah, I guess.  
  
Just try to stay happy, for my sake as well as yours. Thing's are going to get better someday, and when they are, we'll be able to look back at this and laugh. Romolus said with an encouraging smile. In a little while everything will be perfect.  
  
  
  
Cross my heart and hope to die. Romolus laughed, roughing Remus' hair.  
  
  
  
_What's with you Lupin? You seem annoyingly upbeat lately.  
  
Remus said distantly, still ignoring the boy as he had been for the past half hour of Potions.  
  
Shouldn't you be off sulking or something? he question, noticeably irritated.  
  
Nothing worth being miserable over.  
  
Oh yes, there isn't a war or anything, no, not at all. the Slytherin mumbled.  
  
Doesn't concern me yet. Remus replied, smiling in an absent fashion.  
  
Rolling his eyes, he turned around to possibly bother Black and Potter. There was just no use getting to the filthy Gryffindor in his current condition. All he seemed capable of doing was staring at the mesmerizing patterns of the dungeon walls.  
  
Lupin, walk out that door and you'll regret it. Professor Forson hissed as the bell rang. The rest of the mixed class gathered their possessions and departed in a chatty mass. Reluctantly, Remus stayed behind. He took a long breath to calm himself, and nodded his head in self-affirmation.  
  
Care to explain why you-  
  
No sir, I don't. Remus interrupted, bravely meeting the icy gaze. I don't _need_ to explain. I had reason to act the way I did. He returned the glare, and to his surprise, Forson's scowl slowly lessened.  
  
You'd make a good Auror kid. he said in a shockingly calm voice, devoid of malice or sarcasm. But that wont work on me.  
  
He smiled, and Remus knew he had lost the battle.  
  
There's no excuse for assaulting a professor. he continued, armed with a nasty glint in his eyes. And stealing, well now lad, that's a whole nother field. You're going to regret that considerably poor decision for quite some time once I'm through with you.  
  
You can expel me from the school and I wont regret one moment of what I did. Remus snapped, eyes narrowed. _Nothing_ could ever make me regret my choices. There isn't a thing in the world... No sir, you can ruin my only freedom in life, throw me from my only security, and I'll never second thought my actions.  
  
Forson continued to glare relentlessly, though with a different intention. What could be causing such a loyal display? Surely the werewolf wouldn't feel so strongly.  
  
Really Professor, go ahead, expel me. I damn-well dare you to do it, because I know you can't.  
  
You doubt me? he asked quietly.  
  
You only take action when there's fear to be found. I could care less what you would do to me right now. Remus said honestly, crossing his arms. So go ahead, try me. No punishment would ever spur an ounce of regret. I'd have killed you sir, if you ahd gotten in my way, and I wouldn't even have cared at this point.  
  
The cold Potions Master nodded, and turned away.  
  
Well said. he muttered, nodding again to himself. You've got guts Lupin... It'll get you killed someday, but you've got serious nerve to spit that out.  
  
  
  
Go, you're late for class.  
  
Remus walked off, blinking in mild confusion.  
  
Did I just... Win? he questioned nobody. Maybe there is more to that bastard than I thought. Remus mused with a shrug, running off to Charms.  
  
Everything was too perfect for him to worry about one professor right now.  
  
  
  
**A/n- Yeah, a considerably shorter chapter. Anyway, merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, have a joyful Kwanzaa, or enjoy the break from school/work! Hope everyone's doing well out there. Thanks to all my new readers, and all my old n' loyal ones too. You make my days worth living :-D  
  
**Iggie  
  
**Fic of the Day- It Was never This Cold on Christmas by Luinlith: **Sirius Black reminisces to a Christmas past when he wasn't locked away in Azkaban. A good little work of angst right in time for the holidays.   
  
http://fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1142078  
  
**Title Meaning: **Dissolutus- Weak, wanting in energy


	59. Part LIX Credo

A/n- ::hums annoying Christmas songs:: They just don't go away I tell you! ::curses:: Stupid holidays last even after the damn things are sipposed to be over...  
  
Disclaimer- I'm not even going to bother at this point.  
  
Rating- PG-13 for some, er... Yeah.  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LIX - Credo  
  
  
  
I still don't understand why we have these stupid things. Remus grumbled, frowning at himself in the mirror.  
  
They have them because people like James enjoy exploiting their good fortune to the rest of us miserable slobs. Sirius said lightly, armed with a grin and bottle of Whizz-O-Zap hair gel.  
  
Cheer up guys, it's only one night. James commented from the bathroom, still trying to tame his hair.   
  
Sirius threw a pillow at him, scowling.  
  
You know damn well these stupid dances last forever. One night is ample time for you to rub it in that you and Lily have a perfectly _spectacular_ relationship.  
  
While we have none to speak of. Remus added.   
  
At least _I_ found a date. Sirius said, turning to face his bothered friend.  
  
Seems as though Moony rejects all female interest. James continued, finally giving up after breaking his third comb in his tangle of hair.  
  
That'd be plausible, but there's one little problem with that theory. Remus said with a short grin. There _is_ no female interest.  
  
Maybe if you'd get your nose out of a book and spare a little yourself.   
  
Yes, and get slapped down. Might I remind you of Heather, dear Prongs?  
  
James winced in memory of the old attempts at striking up conversation, one that had ended in the striking of Remus' cheek.  
  
You're not bad looking, just... I don't know, don't look so pathetic.  
  
Hey! I do not-  
  
Yes you do. You're worse than Peter. Sirius interrupted.  
  
Where is the little rat anyway?  
  
Library. Couldn't find a date, I think he's trying to learn how to conjure one. Sirius laughed. The black-haired pranksters went on for several minutes chuckling at old Peter jokes until the Common Room clock rang out seven strikes.  
  
Sirius and Remus shared a sigh, while James smiled in delight.  
  
Bugger off Prongs.  
  
Yes, do wipe off that mocking scowl before I go canine on you. Remus agreed, trying to flatten out his ensemble. Scuffed shoes poked from beneath the short robes, and his hair refused to stay cooperative. With one last glance at himself in the mirror, he rolled his eyes.  
  
Bloody dances. he grumbled, shoved along out the door by both his friends despite his better efforts to remain in the dorm.  
  
  
  
Ruddy little gatherings. he snapped half an hour later, slumped against the wall with the rest of the dateless unfortunates.  
  
Excuse me?  
  
He turned and was faced with a very pretty girl biting her lip, looking genuinely nervous. Remus smiled.  
  
  
  
You're... Remus Lupin, right?  
  
In the flesh. he said hopefully, moving aside to allow her space to stand comfortably. She didn't accept. Remus cursed under his breath.  
  
You knew Alex, didn't you? she asked, still biting her lovely lip.  
  
Damn.'  
  
Yeah, we were pretty good friends. Remus said with a slight sigh, already knowing his battle was lost before it had begun. But Sirius and James didn't have to know that... He smiled, and invited her to follow him to a little round table with a candle in the centre.  
  
You wouldn't happen to know where he is, would you?  
  
You're Mary, his girlfriend?  
  
The tall brunette nodded, and looked around nervously. She had heard some unpleasant things about the Gryffindor.  
  
I can't say that I do, officially. Remus started, resting his elbows on the table calmly. His father had a change of job, they moved out of territory for Hogwarts. He was pretty upset about the move, he found out about it right before the Quidditch match. he lied.  
  
Oh! So _that's_ why he was so ruthless, I was wondering what was wrong. she mused with a nod, encouraging him to continue.  
  
I can only guess that he's still bothered, he hasn't answered any owls our dorm has sent.  
  
Yeah, I keep trying to get in touch with him, but nothing ever comes back. the older Ravenclaw confirmed.  
  
I wish I could help more, but there really isn't anything else I know for sure.  
  
She smiled slightly, and met his gaze. Damn, they always have to be blue eyes, just like Elise.  
  
No, you've been a big help. I was worried he was blowing me off, or worse. she admitted, lacing her fingers together. Oh God... Elise did that when she was concentrating.  
  
Remus shut his eyes, trying to conceal the painful memories, push them away for just one night.  
  
You know, I don't see you around very much.  
  
...Usually in the library, or with the guys. James and Sirius like to drag me around the school.  
  
Sirius Black? Mary asked with very wide grin. One that happened to remind Remus again of his parted friend.  
  
he managed to squeak out, his voice going tight in his throat.  
  
She went on for several minutes with a wonderful tale of some explosion or whatnot, though Remus found it hard to pay attention. His mind was clouded with stupid laughs, pathetic smiles, and lost words.  
  
Would you care to dance, I don't have a date. Alex wouldn't mind, I'm sure.  
  
She smiled again, blue eyes inviting him to join her.  
  
Damn it.'  
  
I really have to go. he said suddenly, standing up from the table and knocking a glass of punch onto the floor. Without any sort of grace he rushed away, leaving behind a put-off Ravenclaw halfway through her conversation.  
  
Always did figure he was weird. she mused with a shrug. There were other boys, it needn't matter.  
  
  
  
  
  
He turned his face away, holding his knees to his chest for security.  
  
Are you alright?  
  
The lively Defense Professor knelt down, and pulled the curtain away. With a tut and shake of her head, she grabbed him by the shoulder.  
  
Teenage angst strikes again I see. she commented. Honestly, dances aren't so hellish that you need to curl up in a little ball like a first year who just met Forson.  
  
She waited for a smile, but nothing happened.  
  
Care to tell me why you're hiding, and very poorly at that?  
  
I can't get over it. he mumbled.  
  
Displaying the epitome of her social graces, Ms. Horder hit him across the head.  
  
I don't even care to know what you're weeping like a baby over, but it isn't worth it. What's done is done.   
  
She looked down at him, and he finally met her inquiring gaze.   
  
I know that look. she said quietly, smiling solemnly. A lost love, no?  
  
Remus nodded slightly, not sure how he felt. It had been so long, he had never let the reality sink in. harbored in the back of his mind for so long a time, everything was finally flooding back.  
  
That's how life is Lupin. You find something wonderful and Fate bites you in the ass. she explained. The only cure is to stand strong and keep going.  
  
He nodded, barely listening, not gathering the meaning of what was said.  
  
And judging from how you're crouched up as far from the Great Hall as you could get... she went on, nudging him to get up. I'll take it someone reminded you of your old girl.  
  
Another nod, the only confirmation he could manage.  
  
I kept telling Albus these things make kids miserable. Old fool only sees the scarce happy couples that enjoy them... Isn't it annoying, that _one_ bloody pair that seems to be perfect? No relationship problems to speak of... I always wanted to kill them when I was in school. Ms. Horder mused, finally grabbing Remus by his robes. In one swift movement, she forced him to his feet, and began to tug him along to the roaring gala. Jacob Sharp, and that bubbly little what's-her-face. God damn, they went since third year and never tired. I genuinely hope those bastards are trapped in some unhappy marriage with three annoying brats running amok in a tiny flat. _God_ I wish I could see that... she trailed off, and began to talk to herself for some time about other perfect couples that held her most sincere death wishes.   
  
The part of Remus' mind that was still functioning logically was wondering how this was supposed to make him feel any better. After realising he was close to the Great Hall, he sucked up the rest of his woes and wiped his face before Ms. Horder shoved the giant double doors open.  
  
Sixth year men aren't supposed to cry. she told him firmly, pushing him back into the gathering.   
  
Remus didn't move, he stood frozen in his place at the entrance.  
  
No date, huh? the professor said with a crooked sort of smirk. All right then.  
  
Without warning, she grabbed his arm and pulled him off into the crowd.  
  
What're you doing? he asked, trying to be heard over the thunderous music.  
  
Reliving my childhood. she said with a shrug. Honestly Lupin, I've had one too many drinks. My liquor cabinet was open, I was bored... I don't really care at this point.  
  
With an authentic laugh, Remus went along and began to actually enjoy himself. He'd deny it later, of course. But being seen dancing with the young professor certainly had its bragging factor.  
_  
  
  
_I can't believe they're already getting on our case about the N.E.W.T.S. Sirius grumbled, frowning as he quickly exited Potions. We just finished the O.W.L.'s last year and now they land us with another ruddy test.  
  
I don't think it's practice for the N.E.W.T.S. Peter commented, still pale from being openly told off minutes before. With how the Dark movement is going... I think they're preparing us for a war without really telling us directly.  
  
Yeah, well what do you know? Judging from your scores I figured you'd be jumping at a chance to take the N.E.W.T.S. Sirius snapped back.  
  
Peter went red, and quickly removed himself from the conversation, muttering something about the library.  
  
Padfoot, you really shouldn't tease him so much. Remus said lightly, trying to suppress his own smile.   
  
He's a twit.  
  
He'll get his revenge someday. It's cosmic law, the little prat's always get some horribly nasty pay back. James said offhand.  
  
  
_-unless _he_ was the one... unless you switched... without telling me?  
  
  
_Remus shook his head, and parted his pack for Advanced Charms.  
  
  
  
Summer... Need summer... Sirius said in a mock-desperate voice, sliding out of his seat. Dramatically, he clung to the edge of the table where his homework lay scattered.  
  
We still have a month. James pointed out.  
  
I almost don't want school to end. Remus mused, starting to draw absent swirls all over his Runes homework.  
  
Sirius and James turned as one, stared openly, and blinked.  
  
_Why_ in God's name would you want to stay in this hellhole of schoolwork? Sirius asked, mouth ajar.  
  
Remus began, but paused. I have a lot of work to do over the summer. he said with a mild frown. Staying here is a lot easier, less stressful I guess.   
  
Remus smiled, and chuckled to himself.  
  
I'm gonna miss you lot over the summer. he added.  
  
Why not come stay with us? Sirius suggested. My father said I could have you all over for a week or two up at his farm. He paused, and turned to James briefly. And yes Prongs, it's within flying distance of Lily's.  
  
I'm in. the Seeker agreed, clasping his hands together.  
  
Anything to get away from my parents. Peter mumbled, nodding to indicate he would come.  
  
I'd like to, but-  
  
But nothing. Sirius interrupted. You're going to stay, if not for a few days then the whole time. You're little city can bugger off. he declared, though in enough of a joking sense to make it obvious no offense was meant.  
  
I don't have the time Padfoot. Remus sighed, setting down his quill and rubbing his tired eyes. I have to get a job, there's a _lot_ I need to do. Too much.  
  
You just turned seventeen for God's sake, stop worrying about financial stuff. James muttered. You're not seventeen-going-on-thirty-five you know.  
  
Hey, Moony. Sirius said in a low voice, hunching in his seat.  
  
What now?  
  
Jenny's staring at you.  
  
WILL YOU LAY OFF ABOUT WOMEN FOR FIVE MINUTES! Remus barked.  
  
The Common Room went silent for a second, until small crowds burst into fits of laughter. Embarrassed beyond comprehension, Remus sat back down in his seat and glared at Sirius.  
  
You're very good at getting their attention. Sirius said lightly, tipping his crooked hat to a group of girls in the corner. You must teach me how to do that.  
  
It's a reluctant gift. Remus groaned, letting his head fall to the table as another pack of females strode by curiously, smiling sweetly at him.  
  
They love him, really, because they don't know him. James gathered. If he got out more and actually dated, I'm sure it wouldn't last.  
  
That's a low hit Prongs. Remus grumbled, face still planted on the tabletop. He had absolutely no intention of removing it until positively necessary either.  
  
They like the mystery. Sirius said, still contemplating who he would try to win over for the weekend. You're like a good-looking social outcast... Or something.  
  
Here, take my advice. James started, flashing an encouraging smile that was returned with a scowl.  
  
No thank you. Your advice typically leads to detentions and preposterous amounts of bodily harm.  
  
Just find some random girl and ask her out.  
  
That's disgraceful and rather rude...  
  
They don't mind. Sirius said. A second later, he was hit very hard over the head with a very large textbook.  
  
Last time I look your way again you filthy pig! some girl shrieked, overhearing his comment.  
  
With a painful sort of wince, Sirius shook his head sadly.  
  
Great, now I've nothing to do Saturday ni-  
  
Padfoot, for what's left of my sanity, please discontinue that thought. Remus interrupted.  
  
  
  
_Remus, where the hell are you?  
  
Rom? ROM!  
  
Where are you?  
  
Rom, where are you?  
  
  
  
It's too close Rom... Rom, please, help...  
  
  
_Remus, hey, Remus!  
  
I didn't-  
  
Eyes snapping open, he blinked, trying to take in the hellish images. Except, they weren't there.  
  
Heart racing, Remus took in an unsteady breath.   
  
It had only been a dream.  
  
Kind of strange, you haven't had nightmares all year. Peter said from his bed, rubbing his eyes. They stopped a while ago-  
  
Shut up Peter. James said softly. He turned back to Remus, and smiled with a shrug. Are you okay?  
  
Yeah, I guess. Remus mumbled, falling back to his bed. Just a little stressed-  
  
Here we go again. James said with a laugh. Without letting Remus finish his sentence, he pulled him out of bed and tossed him a robe.  
  
Come on. he said impatiently, waiting by the door, Invisibility Cloak draped over his shoulders.  
  
Remus began, muffled as he pulled on the robe. -are we going?  
  
Mischief, good Moony, that's where. he replied. I'm tired of you being in a foul mood, so we're going to go an wreak havoc upon this poor, unsuspecting school.  
  
Havoc of what sort?  
  
Oh, I don't know. Explosions in the Slytherin dorms, igniting Snape's hair?  
  
Sounds positively wonderful. Remus agreed.  
  
  
  
In no time at all, the pair was happily laughing hysterically as they bolted from the dungeons.  
  
Wonder how long it'll take him to realise his hair's polka dotted pink. Remus mused thoughtfully as he pulled a sharp corner, his invisible friend trailing a few paces behind.  
  
He's bright for Slytherin, shouldn't be more than a waking half-hour.  
  
He's especially bright now. Remus snorted, smiling to himself.  
  
  
**A/n- Sorry about the slight update dely, I've had minor computer problems. Not to worry! Thanks for reading, too. Hope everyone had a decent holiday. Actually... No, I'd best lie. :)  
  
**Iggie  
  
**Fic of the Day: Revelations by JKLB- **A nice little fic. Remus Lupin pays a visit to Sirius' mother down in Hogsmeade after he resigns from teaching in Prisoner of Azkaban. Interesting interactions, and a strangely smile-inducing ending. Go check it out.


	60. Part LX Advance

A/n- Yes, it's me, back again to torment you with another chapter. I hit another dec. Chapter 60... Oh boy, it really doesn't end. o_O Ah well.  
  
Rating- PG-13 for my bad mouth and some crazy students.  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LX - Advance  
  
  
  
  
_Lupin-  
  
When are you out of school? Thing's are getting hellish out here with Caleb out of commission. Write back ASAP so I can figure something out.  
  
Garade  
  
_Remus flipped the stained parchment over, and grabbed a quill off of Sirius' desk. In the background he could hear Binns droning on about some such rebellion or whatnot, his three friends snoring, and someone talking about Snape's interesting hairstyle at breakfast. With a sigh, he began to scribble his response.  
  
_Three and a half weeks, I think you can hold out that long. And will someone please stop lying to me? I know Caleb isn't fine' so stop avoiding it.  
  
Remus  
  
_Silently, he folded up the letter and crept to the back of the classroom. Unnoticed, he continued to move back, row by row. In few minutes he was safely out the door and on his way to the Owlry.  
  
Don't make us question your loyalties Severus. He doesn't like wondering who his true followers are.  
  
I would never betray our Master.  
  
Really, now. Some of us ar beginning to think otherwise.  
  
Then you're reaching false conclusions.  
  
Remus stopped, and swallowed quietly. Around the corner he could hear voices that he knew belonged to a band of unruly Slytherin's that he didn't wish to cross paths with.  
  
If you turn traitor there's going to be a price. one of the seventh years warned, his voice cracking slightly. We'll all go down with you. And we don't want that to happen.  
  
I assure you, gentlemen, came the voice of Snape, and Remus knew he was smiling briefly. that I am as loyal to our Master as you are.   
  
There was a short pause, and Remus could faintly hear the other boys talking amongst themselves. Curiously, carefully, he peered around the corner.  
  
You've tested your placement before, Severus, I'd hate to see it happen again. one of the larger boys said, curling his knuckles in what he figured was an intimidating manner.  
  
Yes, I'm sure you would all cry a river. Snape said, rolling his eyes to himself. I assure you again, my loyalties stand where I declare them. Now if you don't mind I'd rather like to be off. Without another word, Snape kept a stiff shoulder and brushed past the small crowd of delinquents.  
  
You can stop staring anytime Lupin. he muttered halfway down the hall.  
  
Eyebrow raised, Remus stepped away from the security of his corner now that the pack had disbanded to loiter elsewhere.  
  
You knew I was there?  
  
I don't need an innate canine sense to feel someone's presence. the Slytherin said. He wasn't sure if it was his imagination or not, but Remus was almost certain Snape had broken into a cold sweat. And the way his pupils had dilated...  
  
Who were those idiots?  
  
Precisely what you title, they're just a meaningless group of idiots. Snape said shortly, trying to end the conversation.   
  
And the interrogation is just normal day-to-day Snake chat? Remus asked sarcastically. What was all that about your Master and loyalt-  
  
Even for a Gryffindor, you ask far too many questions. he snapped. I'd have expected more from you, but apparently I was mistaken. That lot of yours seems to be rubbing off... Now please, if you don't mind, and even if you do, please take your quivering little snout out of my affairs.  
  
You're the one that's shaking. Remus said lightly.  
  
Snape stopped, and turned back to face his enemy. Glaring for all he was worth, his face twisted into a nasty scowl that caused Remus to take a step backwards.  
  
I would highly suggest that you run off to wherever it is you were going. And I mean run. _Very fast_. he said slowly, emphasizing every word.  
  
Not being one to second-guess an open threat, Remus took the advice and bolted off for the Owlry.  
  
  
  
I still can't believe that you and James have been going so long.  
  
It's only been-  
  
Don't tell me the exact date, too depressing. Sirius interrupted, frowning deeply at the Charms essay he had yet to begin. After another moment of intense staring, he let out a disgruntled groan and crumpled up the paper, tossing it into the burning fireplace.  
  
You hadn't written anything, you know. It was completely pointless to burn that parchment. Lily pointed out.  
  
Oh shut up. Sirius grumbled back.  
  
She smiled, and shrugged at Remus. How do you survive being around these ingrates all day?  
  
How do you survive being around James the rest of the time? Remus countered. And no, I don't want you to answer that. he added in haste.  
  
Lily went scarlet, and muttered something that went beyond Remus' hearing.  
  
It's getting rather dull around here. Peter observed. The games of Exploding Snape had died down, and the normally energetic James was nowhere to be found. A blanket of odd silence hung over the Common Room.  
  
Let's go down to Hogsmeade. he suggested.  
  
With a short mutter to indicate that he wasn't ready to admit Peter had a good idea, Sirius stood up and walked towards the portal.  
  
Are you guys coming or not? he asked, cocking his head backwards.   
  
Peter grinned, and readily tagged along.  
  
  
  
Hey Rosie, you really should get a patent for this. Remus said idly, swirling his Butterbeer around. Sirius had run off after a pack of girls a while back, Peter at his heels. And Lily was off, with James...  
  
It's the best damn drink I've ever had, anyway. he added distantly.  
  
One of my father's creations. the young bar maid said with a proud smile. She pointed to the far wall, on which hung a large painting of a weary-looking old man with the same sharp cheekbones. He spent the better of his life trying to perfect that drink. It's in out blood, he always said. Every generation has created some lasting mix that we serve here.  
  
Maybe get it in cans, like Muggle soda. he mumbled, still staring at the frothy drink in his hands.  
  
Three years it took me, just to get the consistency I wanted and whatnot. Rosie said with a dreamy shake of her head. It's popular with your lot, though. It has a nice zing to it.  
  
Wonderful zing. Remus agreed, deftly ordering another one of Rosie's fantastic creations. The Three Broomsticks had a dizzying effect one one's mind when it was empty. Lingering fumes from prohibited drinks left Remus slightly besotted in his own regard.  
  
Playing the lone wolf Lupin?  
  
As to you. he said, frowning slightly as Snape took a seat next to him at the bar.  
  
Did you get into a fight? Remus asked after a pause. It may have been from the butterbeer, but that looked distinctly like a large welt. Yes, there's no mistaking it in the light. The red was a blinding contrast to the Slytherin's pale skin.  
  
What's it to you? Snape asked, turning his face into the shadows.  
  
Nothing really. he muttered, not wanting to start his own fray. You should probably tell Forson, and before you get all defensive and arrogant, listen.  
  
Surprisingly, Snape nodded, biting back his tongue.  
  
You damn well know I've got problems-  
  
There was his trademark smirk, voice producing the satire that served as his facade.  
  
-and I know it helps to actually tell someone. You, well, you don't exactly have friends. Remus pointed out. He took no offense, merely nodding at the given truth. Telling your Head of House would be the best thing.  
  
I can handle myself. Snape said firmly, digging into his pockets absently. He let out a sharp curse that was met by disapproval from the various paintings.  
  
Remus ordered him a drink.  
  
Touching to know you almost give a damn about my well-being, but I'm more than capable of settling my own affairs. Snape said authoritivly.  
  
Hey Severus!  
  
Remus watched Snape shrink slightly on the stool, hunching his shoulders inwards in an attempt to hide himself from recognition.  
  
I'm sure. he muttered sarcastically, turning around. Snape offered him a glare, trying to pull him back.  
  
What the hell is this Snape, hanging around with filthy little Gryffindors? the seventh year asked sharply, shoving Snape's shoulder, knocking him off his seat.  
  
Back off. Remus warned, narrowing his eyes.  
  
Oh, and now the beggar boy picks your fights for you? Classic! the boy declared, arousing a round of laughter from his posse. Really Severus, you need to find better company. Precisely why I'm back. Now, you'd best not run off in the middle of a discussion... We wouldn't want anything unpleasant to occur.  
  
If that's supposed to be a threat Boyd, it isn't intimidating in the slightest. Snape uttered, facing his opposition. How about you run along with your crowd and terrorize someone who deserves it?  
  
I couldn't find a better candidate. Boyd drawled, hand going to his pocket.  
  
Take it outside! Rosie yelled, slamming her fist down on the bar. It did enough to warn the lot, and the Slytherin's took a few steps backwards in imitation of their leader.  
  
Come on now Severus, we need to finish our little _chat_.  
  
I have nothing to say to you. Now good day. Snape huffed sharply.  
  
He made an attempt to brush past, but was grabbed by his robes.  
  
You just want to stay back with your dirty little friend, don't you? he hissed.   
  
_That_ is not my friend. Snape laughed, starting to point to Remus.  
  
The rather large Slytherin took this as initiative for violence, and slammed Snape to the ground.  
  
Get your hands off of him! Remus yelled, rushing forward angrily.  
  
Only a second later, he was thrown against the wall, sporting a cracked lip and a swelling cheek. It would have been perfectly normal, hell, he expected to be struck, but Boyd looked surprised. The aggressor shouldn't be surprised, Remus' conscience told him.  
  
That's not right. Remus mumbled to himself, blinking in confusion.   
  
That's it.  
  
Interesting.  
  
You three, out! Rosie ordered, wand drawn. After one swift movement to scare them, Boyd and his pack retreated to the dark streets. Snape stood to leave, but was interrupted.  
  
You're not going anywhere, lad.  
  
And who's to stop me? he asked with a roll of his eyes, going for the door. By way of magic, it slammed shut in his face.  
  
the bar maid snapped. I'll not have you go back out there and disturb the whole town with another ridiculous fight. Now sit, and finish your drink. she demanded.  
  
Deciding not to further annoy the irate woman, Snape reluctantly slouched into a chair.  
  
Either of you hurt? she asked a few moments later, waiting for Remus to stand up from the wall. Acrimoniously she started to straighten up the empty tavern, magicking chairs back into place and fixing overturned tables.  
  
Slightly confused... Remus said with a shake of his head. No, I'm fine, but...  
  
Don't you ever try to interfere with my business again Lupin. Snape warned with a malicious scowl.   
  
Remus made a stiff face, and curled the corner of his mouth downwards. Yes, pardon me for trying to help you from getting your bloody ass whipped.  
  
I told you, I can handle a few of my own House mates!  
  
Handle as in let them grind you into the floor? In that case then I agree, you could handle them quite well.  
  
Just bug off you stupid beast.  
  
And I haven't heard that one before. Remus mumbled, wiping a drip of blood from his pulsating lip. How much, Rosie?  
  
A Sickle for the pair.  
  
He tossed the equivalent in Knuts on the bar top, and quickly left the hostile environment.  
  
He's such a bloody_ prick_. Remus mumbled to himself as he walked along the barren streets. Most every Hogwarts student had poured out for an inter-House Quidditch game being played in the distance, leaving Hogsmeade in an eerie silence.  
  
_Who?  
  
_  
  
Remus turned around, and chuckled to himself. He hadn't noticed the language gap, and had assumed the voice was human.  
  
he asked, squinting at the dark figure some ways behind him.  
  
The dog cocked his head, and let out a meaningless bark of confusion.  
  
Sorry, thought you were my friend. Remus explained. He was greeted by another playful bark and wag of tail. Care to walk with me for a while?  
  
He was quite sure any onlookers would think him insane at this point. Here he was, a perfectly brilliant Hogwarts student, friend of the famous James Potter and Sirius Black, talking to a stray mutt.   
  
_Hi._ the dog barked, absently swinging his tail back and forth as he skipped alongside his new friend.  
  
What's your name?  
  
_I haven't got one. No human._ the animal explained.  
  
You could always pick yourself a name, everyone should have one. Remus said, kicking a stone as he walked. Yes, he must appear mad to anyone watching.  
  
_Like what? I'm not a clever dog, I'm told. The lady at the bakery calls be stupid'. Is that a name?  
  
_Erm, not really. Remus said with a short grin.   
  
He laughed a second later, overly amused with the dog. It apparently had a stuffy nose, and kept trying to blow air out to clear it, to little success. The end result was the dog had tumbled forward in a somersault from trying to blow so hard, and he smacked against the back of Remus' leg.  
  
You really aren't intelligent. he admitted, shaking his head. I think I have a name for you, though.  
  
_Oh, tell me! I've always wanted a name from a human._ the dog barked happily, sneezing again.  
  
How about Snuffles'? For some reason it just seems to-  
  
_Yes! I have a name, oh wait until I tel the others... Oh thank you!  
  
_Glad to know I'm appreciated for something. Remus said with a hint of sarcasm.  
  
  
  
Lupin, could...  
  
Remus turned around, and blinked at his professor.  
  
If you have the time... Maybe-  
  
Do you need my help, Professor? Remus asked, fighting the commanding desire to grin.  
  
Forson said nothing, and idly walked back into his classroom. Letting his amusement escape momentarily, Remus followed.  
  
To what can I offer my services? he asked in delight.  
  
Sharply, a large jar of some disgusting- no, he thought, no point guessing at what _that_ is- was shoved to his chest.  
  
And what...? he began, but understood.  
  
Do not smirk at me Lupin, unless you favour a failing grade.  
  
Without the slightest of effort, Remus popped the airtight lid and handed the jar to the Potions Master.  
  
What is that stuff? It smells like sulfur. Remus muttered, pulling his shirt over his nose.  
  
Observant, for a Gryffindor. Forson said offhand, measuring out a small portion of the ingredient. The intestine of a Southern Markie, pickled in a sulfate solution for precisely nine-hundred and eleven days. he explained, adding the rarity to his cauldron. I'd have magicked it open, but that would ruined nearly a century of preparation.  
  
Southern Markie... I thought that was used as a sedative for the nervous systems of rampant dragons.  
  
Well, wonders never cease. At least one of you lot has paid attention in my class. I must inform my colleagues of this miraculous event. Forson said, unfazed by the revolting odor.  
  
Why would you need a sedative powerful enough to knock out the entire student body? Remus asked, still struggling to take in a clean breath of air. A second later, he rolled his eyes at himself. Bloody wonder there, Moony.  
  
In a change of character, Professor Forson smiled.  
  
I'd ask why the whole school perceives me to be a heartless bastard, but I'll assume correctly that it's quite simply too rhetoric.  
  
We have a long history of semi-evil Potions professors. In your predecessor's case, it was unbounded evil.  
  
Since Salazar himself the position of the diligent Potions Master has been seen as the most sinful occupation.  
  
From my own experience, Slytherin's are predominantly a lot of bastards. Remus grumbled, licking a trickle of blood from his lip.  
  
Forson smiled strangely once more, and shoved the foolish Gryffindor from his dungeon without any gesture if gratitude.  
  
  
  
**A/n- AAAAAAAAH. Writers block. Holy hell, I haven't had writers block this bad since the chapters were still in single digits. I'm SO sorry for the delay. Anyway, hope you enjoyed, and I hope everyone had a nice break over the new year. I'll try to dish out another chapter within a week, but don't cross any fingers. o_O  
  
**Iggie  
  



	61. Part LXI Rousing Bout of Headaches

A/n- Iggie's back. Yup, my muse is officially done surfing the vast expanse of porn sites (for those with raised eyebrows, it was a review joke from Mala Zloca). So, here's another one for you.  
  
NOTE- Okay, no one got it. Snape hit Remus at Three Broomsticks. Hence, Boyd was confused, and Remus was as well. Think about the conversation afterwards... Snape was muttering that Remus should stay out of his business, no? Guess I need to be less subtle.  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXI - Rousing Bout of Headaches  
  
  
  
  
  
_Remus-  
  
Only a while longer, I can't believe it. Six months more and I'll be a father... Officially. We were always more on a father-son thing on some level, no? Shelly was worried-is worried-about everything. I got a job with the English Ministry to calm her financial fears, and unfortunatly I start this morning. Creatures Division. Isn't it fitting? Maybe I'll stumble across a werewolf in distress... I'll know where to refer him.   
  
Besides the expected disorderly whirlwind of my life, everything's relatively normal. I hope your school finishes off nicely, and you're coming to stay. No excuses, I need to see my kid brother every now and then.  
  
Cheers and love,  
  
Romolus  
  
_Remus folded the letter with a dull smile, and tucked it into his front pocket.  
  
Looks like life is reaching the point of normality for the both of us. he told himself as he hopped into his slighty-gnawed shoes. The Gryffindor dorms were all vacant, the occupants having long since made it to breakfast. Tired from the full moon the night before, Remus had advised his friends to give him an extra hour to count his sheep.  
  
Hey, is something wrong? he asked, sliding down the stair rail childishly. There was a first year on a pouf, engulfed in her woes. With a short wail, she ran up to her own room.  
  
Shrugging at the young girl, Remus let his stomach guide him away from concern._  
  
_  
  
  
I missed something, didn't I? Remus asked wearily, rubbing his eyes free of morning debris. He stumbled into a chair at the Gryffindor table, idly noting that the whole Great Hall seemed abnormally quiet.  
  
Too quiet.  
  
Without speaking a word, Peter handed him a copy of the morning's _Daily Prophet_ with shaking hands.  
  
Oh my God... Remus said, eyes flaring out to their fullest dilation. Oh my _God_!  
  
He threw the paper down, not wanting to believe a word of it. Before he could stand from his seat, Sirius, pale and tearstained, grabbed his sleeve.  
  
My sister worked in that department, you know. he said slowly, not caring that he was crying. No one would patronize; his tears were shared of the entire residence. She just turned twenty, I... Her birthday card. I just, I just mailed it... Yesterday...   
  
James pulled Sirius away, nodding. Come on Padfoot, he started, intending to leave the Great Hall. Let's get out of here, go walk around.  
  
With a pathetic shake of his head, Sirius stood his ground. They need help. he explained, selflessly waving to show the younger students unable to grasp what was going on, unable to comprehend their beloved mothers and fathers were now lost in a pile of rubble.  
  
I'm going to go find Lily then. James decided.  
  
She's going to be too distraught to handle your presence. Remus muttered, feeling the letter in his pocket. It felt like a bar of lead now, a burden not to be removed.  
  
Something in the pit of his stomach made a horrible lurch.  
  
James said, snapping a few surrounding people back to reality. I'll stay here with Sirius, help out the younger ones. Could you-  
  
I need to take a walk.  
  
  
  
  
  
The black-clad and shadowy Slytherin stopped in his tracks, and took a moment to think as to who the voice belonged to.  
  
he acknowledged, continuing on down the dark hall. At the corner he turned, and Remus could briefly see that he was carrying some distraught first-year girl.  
  
Need some help? he offered, not really knowing why. After a long moment of exchange, he had the sleeping girl on his back.  
  
Rough morning. he said quietly, waiting for a reply that didn't come. Curiously, Remus dared to ask what he was theorizing. Did someone in your f-  
  
Snape answered sharply, taking a crooked path to the side. For some time Remus watched him scurry about ahead, directing to the dorm, in a very obscure manner.  
  
So how the hell did you get that hit? he asked with a short frown of understanding.  
  
None of your damn business. I think we went through this before.  
  
No, I rather think you avoided telling me something important. Remus snapped. The little girl stirred, and he waited for her to cry herself to sleep again.   
  
You're hiding something, you and about half the Slytherins. Even the Hufflepuffs, something's going on.  
  
Observant, for a Gryffindor-  
  
Run all the circles you want, but I know you're involved. he blurted out, angry. That bastard lot of yours was gone last night, and they didn't come back until morning. he remembered. The Marauders Map was a wonderful way to waste time during sleepless nights before the moon's waking. Noting some couple hiding away, unaware they were being watched. And a pack of Slytherins disappearing from the grounds in the late hours was particularly intriguing.  
  
And if you utter such a word to anyone, I can spit it right back. Snape hissed, grinning as wide as he could manage. He stepped into the candle light, exposing a massive bruise that his hood could not conceal, illuminating a conniving smirk.  
  
You are a filthy bastard. Remus muttered, eyes narrowed. It was you, wasn't it? At the Ministry! You all went, you did that! HOW COULD YOU? he roared, waking the child. Snape grabbed at her, but Remus pulled her back, yelling aside for her to go to her dorm.  
  
There are thing's you'll never understand, Lupin, so don't pretend that-  
  
Don't you _dare_ say a word to me. Remus spat. Your involved in this Dark movement-  
  
And you can't tell a soul, can you? Snape asked bravely, stepping right up against Remus, glaring up forcefully. I know _your_ secret, and I've a pretty accurate deduction that you've been the Ministry's little Werewolf Crisis.  
  
For a while, even after the billowed cloak had disappeared around the corner, Remus wondered how he had managed to restrain himself. Every nerve in his body was screaming for strangle, to break _something_, but apparently he was too shocked to notice.  
  
Damn him. he whispered to no one.  
  
  
  
You know, we don't have to study. They canceled our exams. Remus said softly. It had been several days since the entire North Wing of the Ministry had undergone an attack, but little of the shock, if any, had left the halls of Hogwarts.  
  
There's nothing else to do. Sirius mumbled, flipping a page in his thick book. Remus was quite positive he wasn't even aware that he was reading a book on Advanced Potions, nor was he absorbing a single word of the text.  
  
Canceled Quidditch, canceled classes...  
  
We can still go play, if you'd like. I could go wrap up a team, some-  
  
Moony, leave him be. James said quietly, pulling him by the shoulder. It's not easy for him.  
  
You think it's easy for me? Remus asked, eyes slit in remembrance. I've dealt with complete dung my entire life, I don't need to add impending war to the list of things gone awry since the bite.  
  
I didn't mean it like that. said James rather hastily. You're just a lot calmer than us during a crisis.  
  
Me? _Calm_? You really have been hit with too many Bludgers, Lily was right. he laughed. The last, oh, five or six times something has gone wrong I've developed a neurotic psyche that overrides any logical thought. I'm rash, blunt, and quick to conclusions.  
  
There's a difference though, you have something else Moony.  
  
That would be? Really, I'd like to know, it'd be reassuring for me to hear that I'm not a complete mess.  
  
You're determined to make it better. James said honestly, falling back onto a pouf. A little cloud of dust fluttered in his face, making him appear even more ghastly for a second. Your hope is unwavering, most of the time. I mean, when we break down... he trailed off, and shut his eyes in pensive silence. In explanation, he gestured at the crowd of Gryffindors, piles of friends trying to comfort each other, none finding any solace.  
  
You know how the real world is Moony. James mused, head hung low. We only get small glimpses of it, times like this. But you...  
  
I live in hell. Remus concluded, nodding his head.   
  
It isn't how you react my friend, it's what you understand.  
  
They looked out in unison at the mass of shaken youngsters, and agreed without words that they had a new mission to fulfill.  
  
  
  
POTTER! BLACK, LUPIN! OFFICE, _NOW!_ Professor Forson screamed, face almost reaching the same shade of pink as his hair. With shameless grins, the three Marauders marched to detention with their arms linked together, a sign of their fellowship.   
  
Sparatic bouts of laughter plagued the Great Hall, a handful of students finding the strength to forget their lost kin for only a moment's worth of a smile.  
  
James grinned widest of them all.  
  
This could work, you know. he whispered as Forson began to bark and threaten their very lives in his tiny room. The school could use a little lifted spirit.  
  
I have a feeling we're the very lot to do just that. Sirius muttered with a sad sigh. And if not us, then no one.  
  
  
  
There was another attack, Muggles this time. Peter mumbled idly. He set down the toothbrush he was using to clean McGonnagal's floors, and sort ot grimaced. Two children died at a shopping center. A Ravenclaw girl was related to one of them, I heard.  
  
How about Charming their statue mascot into doing the chicken dance?  
  
What's that?  
  
Some ridiculous dance I saw a bunch of Muggles doing on television. James explained. It'd be rather entertaining, I mean, that statue is a good five meters high.  
  
I bet I could manage to do that. Remus offered, squirting the rest of his bottle of Whiz-O-Zap Mold Remover into a bucket. It'd only take a really strong Mobility Charm.  
  
You could always Transfigure it into a _real_ eagle. Sirius suggested, now intrigued with the thought. If this chicken dance' is as amusing as it sounds, a real bird would seem more appropriate.  
  
What year was the girl? James asked.  
  
Er, third I believe.  
  
So... Tuesday would be best. The lot of them are usually buried in the library any other night. Remus suggested.  
  
I'm going to go find a few Transfiguration books. We'd best do this right, you know. Sirius said with a short smirk. Dragging his worries with him, he trudged along to the library, not caring to finish his detention.  
  
He's pretty damn tough. James commented with an admiring smile.   
  
No, he's stupid. Remus muttered. Sirius'll just keep pushing it away until there's nowhere left for it to go. His own troubles are going to landslide soon enough... Denying the pain never makes it go away.  
  
James trailed off, and shrugged. Let's go blow something up. It's getting far too depressing around here.  
  
Remus said with a sudden grin.  
  
  
  
_I wonder how your kind will survive if they continue to destroy themselves so. There has never been another that wishes to kill itself, not like man.  
  
_Personally, I'm amazed we've lasted this long. Remus said distantly, staring up at the dull May moon. As long as we've been alive... There's always a war. I'm beginning to think it's in our nature.  
  
_Not all of men behave so. You, little wolf, you are kind and gentle. You would not hurt another._  
  
Would I? he asked himself. Shebea stiffened at notice of his malice, and she tried to send it off.   
  
_For a man, for any creature of Earth, you are the kindest I know of.  
  
_But I wouldn't be able to restrain myself, not always. I've done it in the past Shebea, and I fear I will hurt another yet again.  
  
_There is more to the heart than protective actions. It is the wolf's nature that forces you to do such, it cannot be controlled. Your heart, that is where it counts. I would not believe you to hurt another truthfully.  
  
_The ingenuity of man is a fragile thing, my friend. he mused, laying back in the damp grass. The songs of night played on around him, minstrels dancing to their own rhythms as he pondered existence. We turn on each other and produce hate, ultimately slaying our own brothers. There is no pure heart in that.  
  
_You are not all the same. Even among your pack you are unalike. There are some of your kind that does not wish for violence...  
  
_The hate overweighs the good of this world. Remus snapped bitterly.   
  
_There is always hope little wolf, do not give up so quickly. Man has surprised me before, and I do hope it continues such. Perhaps this war can end itself before there is great suffering._ she mused wisely, resting her muzzle on his leg.  
  
I doubt it my friend, I really do.  
  
  
  
_Romolus,  
  
I hope everything is going well with you, and the baby. How many months are there, now? I've lost track between worrying about other things. Be sure to keep that wife of yours calm, you know. It's bound to be stressful, what with the attacks and all... I don't know what the hell I'm saying, so I'll just stop there.  
  
Anyway, I'll be done with school in about a week. We don't have exams or classes, so they're letting us out early. If it wouldn't be an inconvenience, I'd like to stay with you for a few days. The Underground is going to throw me on duty as soon as I head home, and I'd rather have some time to enjoy a normal summer. That's a laugh, isn't it? Me having a normal vacation! Unheard of!  
  
Write back soon, I need someone sane to talk to.  
  
Remus  
  
  
_He folded the letter up, and handed it to James' owl before it flew off with the Potter estate financial records that James had to sign again.  
  
Seems like everyone's trying to get in touch with their family. he noticed with a half-frown, watching as countless students sent home letters, praying that there would still be a reply.  
  
They're making sure their family is still around... Remus mumbled. No one really understood, that their parents might not be around anymore. Not until they could've lost them did they appreciate a warm welcome to come home to.  
  
And the rest of us... James trailed off, eyeing scattered orphans that wouldn't speak a word to anyone. The rest of us learn the hard way that family's all you really need.  
  
The pair of Marauders let out identical sighs, wishing for what they couldn't have, what they didn't have, and truly hoping the world would try to appreciate what was still alive.  
  
  
  
Moony, you look like someone just landed a kick to your groin. Sirius said. In the background, every male within distance cringed slightly at the comment before heading back to their own tasks of packing.  
  
That's... That's not a Ministry letter, is it? Peter asked quietly, his face going white. Remus shook his head, but frowned at the parchment nonetheless.  
  
From my brother. he explained.  
  
That's good news, though... Right?  
  
I can't stay with him, so he says. Remus said, tapping the letter. Too busy or whatnot.  
  
I thought he wanted you to come stay with him. Peter recalled, sitting down on a vacant pouf.  
  
Sirius grabbed the letter, and sat down opposite of Remus by the fireplace. After a long silence and a few intense stares, he shrugged, and handed it back.  
  
His wife is having the baby in a while, wouldn't be uncommon for him to be a bit preoccupied. he said lightly.  
  
Shelly... Wait, no. She wouldn't... Remus told himself, eyebrows furrowed. Without explanation, he dug out of wand and muttered some spell, tapping the letter seriously.  
  
Ah Jesus... he grumbled, shaking his head sadly. He dropped the letter, falling back to the comfort of the seat with his eyes shut in mild anger.  
  
What? What's wrong? Peter asked impatiently, trying to snatch the parchment free form Sirius.  
  
Bug off a second. he snapped, skimming over the paper. He frowned, and put on a look of confusion.  
  
The handwriting's different. he noticed.  
  
It's Shelly's, my brother's wife. She wrote the damn letter. Remus muttered.  
  
That doesn't make any sense.  
  
It makes perfect sense. Remus snapped bitterly. _She_ doesn't want me around. She wrote the damn thing pretending to be Rom, even Charmed her handwriting. Shelly doesn't want me around. he repeated.  
  
I thought you two were alright with each other, though. Sirius said, still bewildered.  
  
Her motherly instincts are kicking in. he said, face devoid of any clear emotion now. Peter, still trying to comprehend what was going on, picked up the letter.  
  
I don't understand. he declared.  
  
You're a dumb prat, alright? Sirius said sharply.  
  
I can't believe her. Remus muttered to himself, waiting for Sirius to clear Peter out of his space. With a disgruntled sort of scowl, he Summoned parchment and a quill, and began a furious reply.  
  
_Romolus',  
  
Wonderful, sister dear. I've become accustomed to people fearing me for what I am, but this is a low blow by all standards. Pretending to be sincere and lying like such hurts more than being spat at. Next time, just say it, alright? Don't make yourself feel better about hating me by justifying your actions. I appreciate that you recognize that I have feelings too, but just shut the hell up. If you don't want me around just say so for God's sake.  
  
Tell Rom I'll be gone for the holidays. Happy?  
  
-That beast you're related to.  
  
P.S.- You're the shameful creature now, Shelly. I feel sorry that Rom had to go and fall in love with you.  
  
  
  
  
  
_**A/n- Jesus Christ, I'm so sorry about the delay!! Between exams, hurting myself snow boarding and just my normal chaotic life, finding time to write is nearly impossible. I PROMISE things will get better. I'm not going to abandon this either, so fear not. Sorry again! XP  
  
**Iggie


	62. Part LXII Homecoming

A/n- Sorry for the delay... Unfortunatly, I'm out of excuses, so just complain this time. o_O  
  
Rating- I think this chapter is more PG actually. I cut back on the foul language for once...  
  
Disclaimer- It's not mine! The stupid poo-heads own it all, and JKR... WHY CAN'T THOSE IDIOTS RELEASE THE DAMN FIFTH BOOK???? (There goes my no-swearing resolution... Sure lasted a long time, no?)  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXII - Homecoming  
  
  
  
  
  
  
With a laugh, he fell forcefully to the ground, letting himself be tackled by the six-year-olds.  
  
Hey squirts, how are you? he asked, trying to find a breath of air between the death-hugs.  
  
Daddy, Remus is home! Corey shouted in excitement, jumping to his feet and running to the back of the house. A moment later, he was literally dragging Caleb through the doorway in pure joy.  
  
Hey kid. Caleb greeted with a coy smile, leaning on his cane. Jason, come on now, let the poor guy breath. he added.  
  
Holding up alright? Remus asked once he was allowed to sit upright. Corey had attached himself to Remus' back, hugging him so tight as though he would disappear the moment he let go.  
  
I can walk at least. Caleb said with a shrug. Every time I transform I destroy all the muscles, so it's a horribly slow healing process. he explained with a sigh. I'll live though.  
  
Do you two want to go get some real food? Remus offered. I'm sure Dad's cooking hasn't improved any-  
  
Hey, watch it kid.  
  
And I know a good little restaurant nearby. he finished with a grin.  
  
The twins looked up at Caleb, towards the kitchen, and nodded their heads eagerly.  
  
The people speak. Remus said. So how about you two go get ready, and I'm just gonna stay here and talk, alright?  
  
You'll be here when we're back, right Remmie? Corey asked, pursing his lips.  
  
  
  
The two rushed off in search of their shoes and better robes, leaving the older boys to catch up on lost time.  
  
  
  
Remus said, scratching at his head.  
  
Anything new? Caleb tried, not knowing where to begin. Neither wanted to touch the subject of the attacks, nor their own well-being.  
  
Romolus' wife is pregnant.  
  
Congratulations to him then! Caleb said enthusiastically. His smile faded after he noticed the lack of joy on his friend's face.   
  
Shelly, his wife, doesn't want me around. Motherly instincts are making her detest my presence. he muttered.  
  
Sad as it is, I can't blame her for not wanting a werewolf nearby while she's carrying a child. Caleb mused. Women will go to any length to ensure the safety of their children, this is just another way for her to do that.  
  
She never had a problem with me before. Remus remembered. At least, not that I knew of... I don't know, maybe she's always hated me, sucked it up for Rom's sake. Wonderful.  
  
Don't be worrying about it, tonight's time to relax. Caleb interrupted, trying to keep away any troubling thoughts. You're home and the Terrible Two need you to be happy. Besides... Come tomorrow you're starting work again.  
  
Give me a break, I just got out of school! Remus said in shock. You cant seriously shove me back to the Ministry, no way! Their security is going to be _hell_!  
  
Then I suggest you think of a clever identity for yourself by morning. Caleb smirked, grabbing Jason by his collar as he ran by after his brother.  
  
  
  
Thanks for taking the runts, Mel. Caleb said, waving slightly as she drove off in the battered pickup.  
  
So where are we going this time?  
  
There's a pub nearby... One my older rescues owns it, so I can get drunk as hell for free. he said with a grin, lazily walking through the busy city streets.  
  
I'm still underage.  
  
So am I. Caleb pointed out. Both shrugged, and continued on.   
  
Showing up hung over to a job on the first day isn't going to make a great first impression.  
  
It can be fixed... Magic has its advantages once you know how to use them correctly.  
  
Remus deliberated to himself for a brief moment, but gave in to the calls of his id.  
  
  
Is this Muggle...? Remus asked, trying to keep himself aware of his surroundings. It was determined that werewolves had different effects with alcohol, but two drinks in and the world was already becoming a bit too wonderful.  
  
Gravity sucks, you know. he added distantly, nearly falling off his seat again.  
  
A very far distance away (or so Remus thought), the blurry image of Caleb was talking to an even more blurry image of the bartender. Periodically, one of the figures would point in Remus' direction and laugh at something.  
  
Did you really have to give it to him, Jack? I mean, he's only a kid. I have trouble gutting a swallow of that stuff. Caleb chuckled, watching as his friend fell from his stool.  
  
The Full Moon special... One of my more brilliant creations, no?  
  
If you fancy being a drunk werewolf, then yes. Caleb mused. If you'd rather be able to walk at closing time, then no, it's foolish. He has to go to work tomorrow, anyhow.  
  
You have him taking up your shoes? the youngish man asked, wiping out a glass absently with a dirty dishrag.  
  
I can't likely help incapacitated fellows escape if I can barely walk down the street. he pointed out.  
  
Poor kid though, having to go through all this. He's the one in Hogwarts, right?  
  
Yeah. Surprisingly, the school hasn't kicked him out yet. Only a fraction of the staff knows.  
  
He's got hell to live through. Jack said with a frown, his deep facial features shadowed in the dim light. With the war on our kind, and the war for all of us, I don't know how he'll survive. He's going to be front-line on both domains.  
  
Caleb nodded his head, and decided it was best not to worry about that at the moment. Now, it was more important to keep Remus from wandering out the door with some drunk woman.  
  
Hold on there kid. he said, pulling Remus by his robes as he tried to walk by. Men's room is the other way.  
  
Remus flashed a stupid little grin, and staggered off in the other direction.  
  
  
  
Remus let out a long sigh, and gratefully leaned back into his stiff chair. After countless pages of paperwork and other means of identification check, he had finally managed to convince the Ministry he wasn't a spy for the Dark movement. Three hours after walking into the scrambled building, he was seated at his desk, casually reinstating the Glamour charm that made him appear to be one Albert Dainton.  
  
Need these filled by break. his supervisor said, dropping a thick stack of folders onto the untidy desk. He was a small man, glasses pushed far up his nose, hair meticulously combed and slicked. Remus figured he wouldn't have any problems with this boss.  
  
he said monotonously, his voice not his own. He waited a moment, and then called the man back. Where can I find... Romolus Lupin? I have a paper here that needs his signature. Remus said with a hidden smirk.  
  
Oh, those ruddy cross-division forms again... the man said, racking his memory in an important fashion. Beast Department... I'd say fourth floor by the coffee machine, near Central Complaints. I can't be too certain if that lot is still around, though. Their whole division was right in the line of fire during the attack, before we relocated them.  
  
Remus went rigid, and realized he hadn't heard from Romolus since the Ministry had underwent a visit from the Dark supporters.  
  
No worry lad, I'm sure the signature you need is fine and about.  
  
Remus said, remembering to grab a random file before he dashed off.  
  
These young lads, always right on task. the advisor mused happily.  
  
  
  
I need a signature from Romolus Lupin, he works in the Beasts and Magical Creatures department. Remus said idly, impatiently rolling his fingers across the top of the counter. The elderly secretary frown, and flipped through a register.  
  
And you're sure he wasn't-  
  
No, he's here. Remus interrupted.  
  
Well, he isn't on my register. the lady said rather stiffly.  
  
With a roll of his eyes, Remus walked away and turned a corner of the busy halls. There before him stood a hundred cubicals, a maze of bustling bodies and half-size walls to sift through.  
  
he mumbled.  
  
  
  
Have you seen Romolus Lupin anywhere? Remus asked, stopping at a water cooler for a break.  
  
  
  
he started work the day of the attack. he explained, hoping to job the executive-type man's memory. Rough brown hair, tallish, looks to be in his twenties.  
  
Oh, that lad! the man said with a smile and a nod. He rightly took charge of the rescue squad right after the Aurors cleared the place out.  
  
Do you know where I can find him? Remus asked in delight, his mind finally calming down. I need his signature, you see.  
  
Not those ruddy cross-division forms! the man laughed. Oh, those are a pain in the ass. Hm, let's see... Lupin, Lupin... He looked around on tiptoes, trying to peer over the cubical walls. His office was blown to shreds, they had to set him up here with all the other survivors. He should be... Yes, there's his desk. It's right along the east wall by the big window.  
  
Thank you. Remus said gratefully, bowing his head in recognition.  
  
No problem Albert. the man replied, catching the name heading Remus' file.  
  
  
  
  
  
I've told everyone a hundred times, will you _please_ give me a moment's peace during my lunch break? he snapped.  
  
Remus blinked, not quite sure he had the right person. The man before him was tired and beaten, looking as though he had just come back from an intense fist fight after a week's worth of sleepless nights. Once brilliant eyes were dulled and heavy, underlined by shadowed bags.  
  
What do you want? he asked sharply, waiting for the pesky man to leave.  
  
Are you alright? Remus asked, forgetting his brother couldn't recognize him. You look horrible.  
  
If you've come here to provoke me I'd suggest you leave.  
  
No, I mean... Remus trailed off, and shook his head sadly. I just started...  
  
Oh, you're new too? Lousy time to get a job here. Romolus admitted, slowly letting go of his anger. My first day was on the attack, I came in and expected paperwork and was put on search duty. Instead of pushing paper I ended up shoving wallboard and bodies around for twelve hours...  
  
Must've been terrible.  
  
Here, have a seat... Er, I didn't catch your name. Romolus said, conjuring a chair.  
  
Remus stopped, and shut his eyes for a moment. It would be too risky, as much as he wanted to, to tell Rom who he was. he finished. Albert Dainton.  
  
So where are you stationed?  
  
Disposal of Dangerous Creatures.   
  
Something that looked like rage flashed in Romolus' eyes, and Remus had to fight back a grin.  
  
What's so funny? he almost growled.  
  
Not a fan of my department, I see.  
  
What they're doing is wrong. he said, head hung down to hide his face.  
  
Protecting people from possible death isn't wrong in my book.  
  
And destroying lives isn't right in mine. Rom muttered.  
  
Look, it's been a long day. Would you like to go get lunch or something? There's a decent deli down the corner.  
  
No thank you.  
  
No hard feelings? Remus tried, not wanting to soil the opportunity to work alongside his brother.  
  
He looked up, and forced a short smile.   
  
  
  
I never want to see another manilla folder for the rest of my life. Remus groaned, letting himself fall into the engulfing cushions of the couch.  
  
Caleb chuckled from the kitchen. Probably a vain request, seeing as you're going to be working there for a while.  
  
It isn't like I have anyone to free, they're so tied up getting the government back in order they haven't the time to hunt down renegade werewolves.  
  
And when they do find the time, you need to be there. Caleb reminded.  
  
This wa is almost a good thing for us right now... No hunters out after our skin.  
  
And the world fears us even more. Caleb interrupted. We're Dark creatures, and the wizarding society will have _no_ tolerance for us once the war is fully engaged.  
  
Remus shut his eyes, and took a moment to relax in the quiet home.  
  
This really is home now.' he told himself with a solemn smile. It shouldn't be, but it sure as hell feels like home.'  
  
Remmie, Jason took my broom n' he wont give it back! Corey screamed, jumping right on top of Remus in the middle of his thoughts. With a short Oomph!', he opened his eyes and let out a groan.  
  
I did not! Jason yelled from their bedroom. He took mine Remmie, honest!  
  
Good boys. Caleb said, smirking. Always remember to tell Remus when you have a problem. Double dessert if you can leave Daddy out of it.  
  
You are one sick bastard. Remus complained with a sigh. This is just cruel, and very odd, punishment.  
  
That said, he removed the parasite from his chest, held him under his arm, and marched off towards the other room.  
  
God I love summer. Caleb mused.  
  
Oh, go to hell Caleb! Remus shouted as he tried to persuade Jason to unlock the door.  
  
  
  
Your wife's pregnant, huh?  
  
Five more months. Romolus said with a foolish grin.  
  
Remus said, trying to return the happiness. It was difficult for him to be enthusiastic when he was pretending to be someone else.  
  
Do you have yourself a girl Al?  
  
Oh? Me, er, no. I rather stay away from women. he admitted.  
  
You sound like my brother. Romolus muttered through his sandwich. After a quick swig from his glass, he chuckled. That kid has so much potential, he just holds himself back.  
  
How so? Remus asked, wondering what his brother really though of him. Sneaky, yes, but he was a Marauder after all he thought.  
  
He's bloody brilliant, but he hangs around this lot of idiots. Romolus said, smiling nonetheless. They're dead-loyal to him though, so I can't complain. My brother is rather antisocial, hence him never finding a girl. I think he's afraid of relationships or something.  
  
He may have a good reason to it. Remus said defensively. Ask him sometime, I'm certain he has a reason to it. Unlikely that a relative of yours is just afraid of women.  
  
Romolus grinned, and finished the last of his meal. About time we get back to work, Al. Neither of us could use being fired.  
  
Amen to that my friend.  
  
The pair cleared their trays at the cafeteria bin, both wishing they could stop lying and let their own secrets out.  
  
  
  
Here, put this on and be very quiet. Remus instructed, handing over his emerald over cloak.  
  
The girl nodded, tears streaming down her face as she tried to cope with the situation.  
  
I'm here to help, okay? You'll have to trust me if you want out of here. he instructed, walking over. Her shaky hands weren't able to fasten the clasps, so he did it for her. Absently, he flattened her messy blonde hair down, and brushed a speck of blood from her cheek.  
  
When we go outside, smile and just keep walking. Make sure to smile. Remus insisted. If you look casual and just pay attention to what I'm saying, people will think you're a guest. Got it?  
  
She nodded, wiping at her dark eyes.  
  
he said again, tipping her chin up. Look right at me and everything will be perfect. It's lunch break, no one will second guess a passerby.  
  
Hey, Al! Find yourself a girl at long last? Romolus laughed, cutting him off before they made it down the first hallway. So we're off for lunch then, right?  
  
Remus nodded urgently, hoping Romolus would understand.  
  
he said, smiling at the girl. So who do I owe the pleasure?  
  
This is...  
  
she said quietly, still forcing a smile.  
  
Oh, a bit shy? Alright, well I'm gonna go catch Newhark before he goes off. See you around Al, Morgan. he said, nodding to each. with a last grin to his friend, Romolus dashed off.  
  
See? Everything is fine. Remus said under his breath, taking Morgan's cold hand. He felt a trickle of blood stick to his own fingers, but he kept going.   
  
Just follow me.  
  
  
  
Doc! I have a new one that needs a run-over! Remus said urgently, trying to keep his voice down. Morgan had collapsed shortly after the special Portkey had brought them to the Canadian Ministry building, and Remus had to carry her the entire trip through the city and thick wood.  
  
Only a week in and you're already bringing me new guests. Theodore sid with an approving nod. He helped the girl to a table in his makeshift office, and removed the bloody cloak from her shoulders.  
  
My my... They do seem to be getting more violent, what with the Dark activity hurting our kind even more. he mumbled, gently tapping her on her face to wake her. Hello dear.  
  
Where... Where am I? she asked sleepily, squinting in the light. For comfort, she moved closer to Remus, looking directly at him. She blinked, recognizing the gentle eyes, but nothing of his new' appearance. Where's the man who brought me here?  
  
I'm him. Remus explained. I work undercover at the Ministry, to help people such as yourself.  
  
But... This place...  
  
Don't worry. he said, sensing the fear in her broken voice. We're all the same here, every last one of us.  
  
You mean... Her dark eyes fell to the window, outside of which a small congregation of townsmen had gathered to await the new arrival. A very young girl with busy red hair waved, and smiled toothily.  
  
the doctor interrupted. And if you wouldn't mind, I'd rather like to clean up those wounds of yours before they get any worse.  
  
With an affirmative nod, Remus parted with his rescue and wandered into the dusty streets, uncertain of how long he would be able to keep it up his act.  
  
Hey, Lupin.  
  
  
  
A few of us are heading into town for dinner, want to come along? Helina asked, leaning against the rail of her small porch. A shabby little house stood behind here, one that served as a home for more people than most people would believe possible for something its size.  
  
I'm not particularly hungry. he tried, starting to walk off in the other direction. A little pebble hit him square in the back of his head, and he turned around.  
  
You're a horrible liar, Lupin. she said, wiping the dirt from her hands. Shut up and grab a clean change of clothes.  
  
With a disgruntled sort of sigh, he nodded his head and hurried back to his own little home.  
  
  
**A/n- Wow! I ACTUALLY got this done while worrying about my grades and being neurotic otherwise. ::waits for the applause, frowns at lack of:: Hey, that's a serious accomplishment for a pyscho-depressive person like me. Well, I hope you enjoyed this rather pointless edition of Seeing Grey. Stay tuned for next week... Er, month... Whenever!  
  
**Iggie  
  
**(Yes, I know I'm supposed to have Fic of the Day. I have no TIME to read people, truly! ::nervous guilty look::)**


	63. Part LXIII Deliver Us

A/n- Back for more, eh? If you're looking for a happy chapter, turn away now.  
  
**WARNING- This is not going to be a full chapter**. I'm saying this in advance so I don't get unruly complaints. Part 63, what you're reading now, is a half-sized bite of Seeing Grey. This was done so the next few parts would flow more easily. All complaints on this one's length will be laughed at.  
  
Rating- PG-13 for some not-so-happy events.  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXIII - Deliver Us  
  
  
  
  
Hey, Kemmel, where's Rom? Remus shouted across the noisy cafeteria in late June.  
  
That wife of his wasn't feeling well I guess, he took some time off. the mail carrier replied, trying desperately to find the owner of his current package.  
  
Hm... Hope she's alright. he mumbled, despite his short terms with the woman. She was still family, after all, something he was rather short on.  
  
I wish I could tell Rom... He'd probably try to kick me out of here or something. He has his reason though, it's not exactly safe for me to work at the Ministry like this...'  
  
Hear about that raid, Al?  
  
What raid? he asked, inviting the tired man to take a seat and half his sandwich. He declined the meal, but readily slouched into the plastic chair.  
  
The Defense Squad went out and rounded a whole band of werewolves that had been hiding out in London.  
  
Remus choked on his drink, and tried to remind himself not to go into shock.  
  
I know! Kemmel said, mistaking his reaction for excitement. There's at least twenty of them last I heard.  
  
Letting loose a strangled sigh, Remus swallowed the last few bites of his sandwich and tried to look normal.  
  
I have to go, our entire wing is going to be a madhouse by the time the Squad hauls them in. he said. The mail carrier laughed in agreement, and wished him luck on finding some sort of order.  
  
Not likely. he muttered sadly, pushing through the crowd.  
  
  
  
Sir, would you mind terribly if I took the afternoon off?  
  
We could really use all hands on deck today, Al. What with those beasts coming in...  
  
That's the problem, you see. Remus said, putting on what he hoped was a frightened look. My father was killed by a werewolf when I was a boy...  
  
Ah, no need ot say more. Sure, take the day off, I can find someone else to fill the void. he said with a smile. Remus bowed his head thankfully, and hurried away, trying to formulate a plan that had even a fraction of a chance at succeeding.  
  
  
  
Ah, Jesus help me now... Remus said to himself, hidden away in a utility closet.   
  
A huge congregation of Aurors and other Ministry members had just marched into the ground-level wing of the Ministry, yelling triumphantly to show off their catch. Behind the mass of adults, a throng of tightly-packed and battered werewolves marched sluggishly.  
  
Kill the filthy Dark beasts! someone shouted, cheering on the execution march.  
  
What the hell can I do? Remus asked himself, his heart racing angrily. If I try to free them I'll end up dead...  
  
He shut his eyes, and brushed away the image of the terrified pack of wrongly accused innocents. A smiling face replaced them, a gentle little quirk of a grin that promised better times in the future.  
  
_You're going to save us all someday, I can feel it. You just have to stop worrying so much, look for the better side of things. There's always another way if you look hard enough.  
  
_Thanks Elise. he muttered to no one in particular, slipping out into the crowd without a second though. In the dark confines of the closet, his troubles and apprehensions stayed beyond, waiting for a less critical time to overtake him.  
  
Keep your head down, they'll make it worse if you act brave. Remus mumbled, joining the ranks of those plagued by lycanthropy. Shamelessly, he bowed his head, encouraging the other boy to follow suit.  
  
Who are you? he asked, not looking up to meet the gaze.  
  
No one, just another faceless hero. he said quietly.  
  
  
  
One at a time now, steady. he said, helping the assortment of people into a partially-renovated room of the old wing that had been destroyed in the attack.   
  
Is everyone well enough to last here for a while? I need to go back for the others. Remus asked, surveying the room. Most everyone captured had been beaten horribly by the Aurors or employees of the supposed Light.  
  
Shrunken in a corner lie a trio of weeping children no older than five, all held by adults not their parents.  
  
At least ten around his age, most beyond reality, lost behind their bruised faces and bullet wounds.  
  
A dozen-so elders, each trying to find some logic to grasp onto. Many were uttering prayers, crossing themselves for fear they would perish soon enough.  
  
I'll be back soon. he said quietly, his voice ringing in their ears like that of a saint. Try to hold together until then.  
  
Not caring that a shrill piece of metal had found home in his leg, he hobbled off in search of the last five that had been broken apart from the pack.  
  
  
  
Are you alright? he asked quietly, relieved to ave finally found the last crowd of his pack. Hunched in the corner of the newly-built wing of the Ministry, three older men and two very small girls were hunched together, trying to calm each other.  
  
I'm here to get you out, the rest of the pack is safe. here, come with me- he started. Remus noticed a moment too late that one of them men's eyes had gone very wide, and his hand had started to point.  
  
You're not going anywhere. a shaky voice interrupted. N-Not until you pay, for what you d-did to me...  
  
Remus swallowed, his heart rising in his chest. To the back of his head he felt a thin barrel of metal press, quivering in place from an unsteady hand.  
  
What do you want? he asked, hoping to calm the armed man down. The werewolves went rigid, and one little girl began to cry again. Remus cooed, wanting her to be silent. The gun jerked forward, making him stumble.  
  
They d-destroyed my life... Everyt-thing. the man stammered. Remus couldn't see his face, but knew it was ridden with tears. between his words, he would sob uncontrollably, the gun inching forward, pressing to his skull.  
  
It was under the influence of the full moon, sir, they can't control their actions when transformed. They wont even remember it.  
  
So that j-justifies them, takin' my baby? T-They get away free for killin' him?  
  
They older men diverted their eyes, ashamed of what they could not even recall to be true. Remus shook his head very slightly, knowing it wasn't their fault though still feeling the guilt.  
  
You don't want to kill any of us. Remus said aloud. Ending our lives wont save your child, it's useless. Don't prey on the innocent.  
  
the man snapped, his voice cracking even more. You... You killed um, you f-filthy little murderers!  
  
Remus shut his eyes, willing reality to disappear. The icy end of the gun pushed hard against his head, making it nearly impossible to concentrate.  
  
No way out...' he mused angrily.  
  
I'm sorry about your wife. Remus started.   
  
You _killed_ her! D-Don't say that you're sorry! he chocked out.  
  
My father died at the hands of a werewolf when I was very young. he continued. I know what it's like to lose people you love, but you have to understand, we can't help it. Remus explained, his eyes shut in thought. My entire life I've been degraded and prejudiced, and now I'm facing death because of something I cannot control. These people, like myself, would give anything to be a normal person again. We don't have that choice.  
  
You killed my child. the man said quietly, his voice barely audible between his angry sobs. And stole my wife from me. I will n-not have pity for you... You killed my s-son...  
  
And you think we aren't sorry? Remus snapped, his eyes beginning to burn.  
He looked out into the torn eyes of his comrades whose names he didn't know, whose pain he shared. We're sorry every single day just for being _alive_.  
  
The nose of the gun dropped slightly, resting at the nape of his neck.  
  
Kill me, alright? I've had enough of this world, so shoot me if you want. take their lives though, you'll just become what you despise. A murderer of the innocent.  
  
Doesn't matter. the voice said, its owner raising the gun, now steady. As long as you all end up dead I'll be content...  
  
Before the trigger was pulled, Remus snapped around, pushing the nozzle away. A shot fired into the ground, littering a floorboard with shell.  
  
Neither Remus nor the shooter noticed the stray bullets, they only noticed the other.  
  
They killed him Remus... You killed him. he whispered, eyes red, voice shot from grief. Didn't even have a chance to live...  
  
In disbelief, Remus let his hand slide from the shotgun, one that soon raised to his face.  
  
I can't let you get away with it. Not this time... They killed him, you did...  
  
Rom, please, you aren't thinking. Remus pleaded, his words catching in his throat.   
  
His request fell on deaf ears. The solemn barrel aimed, and Remus forced his eyes shut.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**  
  
  
A/n- Guess what? Yeah, that's the end. Evil, aren't I? I kind of hate to leave of on such a disgusting cliffhanger, but it's the only way I could make the 63-64 transition work to my liking. Ok, be angry now. ::cowers from angry mob::  
  
**Iggie  
  
**Note- My prayers go out to the family and friends of the Columbia crew... America is NOT having a good year.**


	64. Part LXIV The Promised Land

A/n- Aren't you glad I'm ending that nasty cliffhanger? :-D So sorry for the delay.  
  
Disclaimer- I claim ownership to nothing but my evilness.  
  
**Angst Warning**  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXIV - The Promised Land  
  
  
  
  
  
Just put the gun down Romolus, please.  
  
Remus pleaded, beyond words, praying to get through.  
  
That glint... His brother, who had kept him on his feet since he was a child, that glint did not belong in his eyes. At that moment, he would have given anything to rid that maddening stare from his brother's gentle face.  
  
Except now, he didn't look so gentle. The comforting kindness was absent, replaced by the most sincere hatred Remus had ever had the misfortune of witnessing.  
  
For a werewolf, that was had to come by.  
  
Brother, please! he begged, wishing for the gun to be gone, for him to wake up from this nightmare. Only in a dream could something so despicable happen. It couldn't possibly be real.  
  
The word brother' ignited some sickening look in Romolus' vacant eyes. It occurred to him now that he was in fact related to the filth he wished so dearly to exterminate.  
  
They killed him. Romolus repeated, the shotgun quivering in his hands. I can't... I'm not going to let you get away.  
  
Rom, it's me... Please, don't do this. I know you're mad-  
  
he laughed, a disgusting laugh that would put Snape to shame. You ruined my life, and stole my son. I'm a little beyond mad, _brother_!  
  
So that's it then, huh? Remus whispered, his face falling.   
  
The bold voice of the hero was gone, the facade had failed. Now he stood before his brother, his only remaining family, and a congregation of fellows he would risk his life to save.   
  
All those years, I was just being a pest? I stole father from you, ripped away your tidy little life. Such a pity, then, that you weren't an only child. Better off with me dead, right? he said, unfazed by the barrel aimed at his forehead. You'd have your son, and a normal life.  
  
Behind him, his pack stirred, not fully understanding the situation. One of the men had begun to cry shamelessly, apparently remembering waking to the foul taste of blood in his mouth.  
  
Why don't you finish this, brother? Remus asked sharply, cutting through to Romolus. For a brief second, the gun lowered.  
  
Taking the cue, one of the nameless werewolves shot to his feet, grabbing the others as he bolted for the exit.  
  
Remus shut his eyes, already knowing what would happen. He asked God to spare them, but his request went unheard.  
  
He jumped at the thundering sound of the bullet, his entire body going rigid. What bothered him more was the dull thud of a body falling to the ground.  
  
Let them go Rom, he asked again, a tear fallen from his eye. let this go.  
  
Whatever fraction of Romolus' mind that wasn't rattled in grief watched as the werewolves escaped, taking their fallen comrade in their arms. As they went around the corner, one of the young girls looked back, teary blue eyes meeting that of her assailant.  
  
Rom's hand twitched, his eyes ignited with anger. Such a look didn't belong on the face of a murderer. He raised his hands, but only briefly. Before he had time to make the wrong decision, Remus drew his wand. With a stone face, he uttered the spell, and turned his head as his brother fell to the ground.  
  
The gun clattered mockingly to the unfinished floor, a useless tool built by man.  
  
  
  
Remus looked down on his brother, now only a figure sprawled on the floor awkwardly. The pain of facing family as the enemy had been numbed. Now, there were more important things to take care of. The man lying there was just another casualty from the war.  
  
Farewell then, brother. he repeated, tearing his eyes away from a final glance.  
  
He followed the pack, walking on emotionlessly. There was no need for feelings any longer.  
  
  
  
Can we stop, sir?  
  
My name's Remus. he said shortly. And no.  
  
We can barely walk! the girl exclaimed, pushing her body forward to keep up. We're literally carrying each other.  
  
Remus looked back, and made no indication of emotion at the sight of the older men having to carry the weight of several fallen others.  
  
We've already lost time from stopping. he said after a moment.  
  
Angrily, the girl cut him off, forcing Remus to meet her gaze, a task he had been avoiding for several hours.  
  
Look mister, I appreciate being rescued from the Ministry, but this is stupid. she said bravely. behind her, the men stopped, and took the opportunity to rest. You're going to kill us at this rate!  
  
The corner of Remus' mouth twitched, apparently his way of displaying an apology.  
  
The girl, looked away, embarrassed at having spoke out, but she joined the pack regardless.   
  
Remus walked off a few paces, distancing himself from the quiet chatter in the wood. Finding a mossy rock, he sat down and let his head fall to the comfort of his hands.  
  
  
This isn't real. I'm going to wake up.' he told himself, ignoring the fuzzy call nearby. Just a dream. I'm going to wake up in my four-poster, James and Sirius and Peter will be right there. Just having a bad dream.'  
  
His dream suddenly became very painful.  
  
Here, it might help with the headache.  
  
He didn't look up or even acknowledge the person behind him.  
  
It isn't poison. the man insisted. There's native Meckweed around here, it helps.  
  
Remus held out his hand, and waited for the plant. To his dismay, the man was determined to see his face.  
  
he asked impatiently, looking up at the thirty-some blond.  
  
What happened back there, at the Ministry? Before you left us... You're acting different now. he noticed, picking another patch of Meckweed from the ground. Absently, as if programed to do so, he found a flat slate of rock and ground the leaves and roots into a fine powder.  
  
Nothing, I'll be fine. Remus muttered.  
  
Werewolve's pre-cog, sorry lad. he said with a chuckle. I saw that lie coming.  
  
What does it mater to you?  
  
Well, I think I bloody well have the right to know the man that just saved my life. he said, leaning over to scoop a handful of water from the creek. After a moment of careful mixing, he wrapped the sticky ball in a leaf and handed it to Remus. Eat it before the water dilutes it.  
  
Remus bit off an end, and swallowed quickly.   
  
There isn't anything important to know about me.  
  
Well, if you're going to lock yourself up... At least tell me where you're takin' us lot.  
  
Remus said distantly, shutting his eyes. He had no desire to return. The City of the Moon...  
  
No more informed than before, the man left another leaf of painkiller and returned to his friends.  
  
  
  
_Rom, you're back! Remus squealed, happily bouncing on the balls of his feet as the steaming red train rolled into platform nine and three quarters. With a gitty grin, he waved at every passing window, hoping to catch sight of his brother.  
  
Oooh, c'mon, c'mon. he said impatiently, waiting for the doors to open. Piles of students came out, rolling fancy suitcases and expensive trunks of belongings. Brothers and sisters went to greet their parents, mothers embraced daughters, fathers proudly smiled at their accomplished sons all around.  
  
he yelled, cupping his hands as a megaphone. Before he released the second shriek, someone tapped him on the back. Remus turned around, smiling widely at his brother.  
  
Except, it wasn't his brother.  
  
Lookin' for Rom Lupin? a handsome black boy asked warmly. Remus nodded, and tried to peer around the tall boy. Well, he isn't here. Wasn't on the train, anyway.  
  
Oh... Thank you. Remus muttered, the liveliness falling from his face.  
  
You're his kid brother, right?  
  
  
  
Here, he told me to give you this. the boy said, producing a letter from a pocket. He waved goodbye, and ran off to join his father in the background.  
  
Moony,  
  
Sorry, I had to take care of something, I wont be there to see you at the station. I'll catch you in Yorkshire next Saturday. If you can't find a way there, I'll hunt you down the old fashioned way. Cheers,  
  
Romolus'  
  
... Guess you weren't looking forward to seeing me. Remus told himself sadly, crumpling the letter into a ball that was soon sailing down the sewer.  
  
  
_  
Where are we going?  
  
To my city. Remus said shortly, tired of answering the small girl's questions.  
  
Why are we looking for a city in the middle of a forest?  
  
Because that's where it is. he grumbled, running his hand along the rock face. After a moment of thought, he located a notch, and pulled a loose stone.   
  
The complicated and newly-instated Illusion Charm faded away, and the gates to Jericho materialized before the tired throng. He motioned for the pack to stay behind, and confronted the guard.  
  
Lupin, good to see you back. We've been worried.  
  
Is Caleb around? Remus asked, ignoring the concern.  
  
The man flinched, and looked at the ground. Snapped a rib last moon, he's been sleeping it off in the Med house.  
  
Remus said with an affirming nod, starting to walk on through the narrow mountain passage.  
  
Want me to wake him?  
  
I'd prefer not. Remus mumbled, waiting for the convocation to follow.  
  
The guard smiled at each passing werewolf, silently welcoming them through the gates of Jericho.  
  
  
  
a voice called, acceding a knock on the door. Come now, I know you're hiding in here. Helina stepped around the corner, and smiled.   
  
Clever disguise... The lumpy blanket with feet is so inconspicuous. she commented lazily. She made an attempt to whisk the blanket away, only to find Remus was holding it firmly over his head with tight fists.  
  
Well, whatever. A letter came for you, just wanted to deliver it. Helina said, setting the parchment down on top of what she presumed was Remus' head. Figuring he wasn't going to move until she left, Helina slammed the front door to indicate her departure.  
  
Remus frowned underneath his covers, and snatched the letter.  
  
he grumbled, squinting under the dull light from his wand. He was too disgruntled to find the sense to remove the blanket and make apt use of sunlight.  
  
_Remus,  
  
It's Richard, Shelly's father. I do hope this owl reaches you soon enough, I had no idea where to address it now that school is out. If it's very late, I apologize, our owl isn't very reliable for finding missing persons. Either way... Have you seen your brother recently? If you didn't know, there was a slight accident with Shelly over the weekend, and she ran off. Your poor brother was a wreck when we last saw him, I think he's been drinking. We're worried. If you hear from him, please contact us immediately. Our phone numbers are at the bottom, I trust you know how to operate Muggle telephones competently.  
  
And remember, we're here if you have any troubles, no need to distance yourself. You're part of the family, you know.  
  
Richard Hollen  
  
_Remus snorted to himself in grim irony.  
  
You wont want me in the family once you find out what that speck of trouble was. I doubt you'll stand the sight of me once you know my kind killed your grandchild. he mused.  
  
  
  
Absently, he rolled over on the couch, facing away from the newly arrived Caleb. The plaid blanket was once again drawn over the whole of his body, and Remus forced himself into a state of semiconsciousness. By the time the constant tapping of Caleb's cane reached the living room, he was beyond comprehension.  
  
Hm, tired from the trip. Caleb thought aloud. Nineteen people though, we'll have to throw him a party... What's this? he asked himself, bending down with some difficulty. Deciding it too painful to stand upright, he stayed crouched on the ground as he unfolded the letter that had fallen from Remus' hand.  
  
Caleb, don't go spying on the kid's life. Melhane snapped from the doorway, at last finally having found her escapee.  
  
I was just trying to figure out why he's locking himself away from everyone. Caleb defended with a guilty smile. Melhane waited impatiently, her arms crossed seriously. Sighing in defeat, Caleb set the letter on a side table and allowed himself to be dragged back to the doctor.  
  
Under the blanket, Remus squinted his eyes shut, wishing to block out the dream that plagued his mind every time darkness fell.  
  
  
  
Remus, there are two very angry owls out here! At least let _them _in! Garade barked, pounding his fist on the window.   
  
Very briefly, the window shot open, and the two birds were permitted entrance.  
  
Bugger off. he snapped to the larger brown owl who seemed to want a bit of attention. He flicked his hand at it, lightly pushing it back through the window after its companion.  
  
_Moony-  
  
How are you holding up? There's a big game on Saturday, Scotland versus England United, wondering if you'd like to come. Peter's step-brother managed to snag awesome seats, and we have an extra ticket. Write back ASAP before James invites Lily- God knows she's annoying as hell during Quidditch matches. Bloody woman doesn't know how to shut up and let us enjoy the game. Besides, James gets in his oogy state around her. Anyway, write or show up at James' place by Friday if you're interested.  
  
Padfoot  
  
P.S. I do not get oogy around her! -Prongs  
  
  
_ he muttered to himself, tossing the letter on the small table that sat beside his cushioned throne. The other article he recognized as a Ministry document, more specifically one from his boss.  
  
Too bad. Remus told himself a short while later, tearing the parchment into confetti.   
  
You need to get back to work, you know. Garade yelled from the window, having finally cracked it open from the outside. If Simmers wasn't confined to a bed by that damn woman, he'd have shoved you off days ago.  
  
Well, I don't rightly feel like going back to work. Remus replied resentfully, scowling. And if you're so concerned, why don't you go back? Afraid you'll get caught?  
  
Garade flushed a light shade of red, and frowned. Some hero you are... Overrated git. he mumbled, walking away with a dented ego.  
  
Who said I wanted to be the hero. Remus snapped to no one in particular.  
  
  
**A/n- Oh my gosh, I'm SO incredibly sorry this chapter has taken forever to get out! School has been a bloody nightmare, and once again the pains of organized sports inhibit my free time usually spent writing. I'll try to get the others out faster, though I can't promise much. My apologies!!  
  
**Iggie


	65. Part LXV Moenibus Munire

A/n- I'll cut to the chase, you've all waited long enough. XP  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXV - Moenibus Munire  
  
  
  
  
_Remus,  
  
It's Richard again. If you're reading this, please write back. We can't find your brother or Shelly, and now you're keeping yourself hidden from us. Please, come and visit us! You're always welcome in our home.  
  
The Hollens  
  
_So, are you going?   
  
Remus turned around, and glared something violent at Caleb.  
  
Do you enjoy peering over my shoulder and reading my letters?  
  
Caleb replied without a trace of sarcasm. It's very entertaining.  
  
Remus rolled his eyes, and threw the letter into the trash. Aren't you supposed to be in the Med building? Broken ribs or something? he asked in hopes of sending the man off.  
  
Melhane's off shopping, in laymens meaning I can do as I please. came the cheerful reply. So, really, why don't you go visit? They are your family after all.  
  
They're my brother's family, not mine. And I don't feel up to visiting. Remus muttered.  
  
Well, too bad. Caleb interrupted, planting a hand on Remus' shoulder. You have been nothing but a depressed mess lately, and we're all sick of it.  
  
  
  
We're tired of seeing you like this, it's very discouraging. I already wrote them and said you were coming.  
  
You _what_?  
  
You need to get out. Caleb declared, oddly delighted to see the look of betrayal on Remus' face. You'll be there tonight on your own will or by mine.  
  
This is cruel. Remus growled.  
  
Isn't it, though? Caleb grinned.  
  
  
  
Remus! Good to see you son, good to see you! Mrs. Hollen said enthusiastically, welcoming him inside by whisking away his cloak and ushering him to a chair.  
  
I can't stay long. he said by way of greeting, not removing the frown from his face. Frankly, I have to be going shortly.  
  
That's alright dear, any visit is a good one. she said with a warm smile. After a bit of shuffling about aimlessly, she laid a tray of cookies on the coffee table and invited him to dig in.  
  
He shook his head, and took in a long breath.  
  
Have you heard from Shelly? he said, asking the question that they both wanted.  
  
No... Remus dear, do you know what happened? she inquired, biting on her lip. I'm... I'm afraid that...  
  
Yes, I know what happened. he interrupted, cutting her worst fears short. Remus remembered that the Hollen's first daughter had been killed by Dark mages a few years previous, and he knew the mother was thinking the worst for her surviving child. Shelly's alive, don't worry.  
  
Relief gushing from her face, Mrs. Hollen broke into a wide smile.  
  
Then why hasn't she returned our calls, or owls?  
  
Remus closed his eyes, and wished he didn't have to play Hermes. Shelly... She lost the baby. Miscarried.  
  
He wanted to lock his eyes away from the look of horror on the mother's face, but felt it his duty to meet her gaze.  
  
A band of werewolves attacked, she miscarried from injury or stress.  
  
How... H-how did you-  
  
I had a brief encounter with Romolus. he said shortly. Shelly ran off, he told me.  
  
Then, why hasn't Rom...  
  
He's indisposed. Remus explained, his mind torn between the need to comfort and the desire to run away. I haven't heard from him since.  
  
Mrs. Hollen nodded her head, unable to find words to fit her grief.  
  
I have to be going... I'll write if I hear from either of them. he said, dragging himself to the coat rack. With a short nod and an unhelpful look of pity, Remus closed the door behind him.  
  
  
  
How the hell... Remus asked himself, gently setting his feet on the damp ground. He blinked, wondering briefly if his tired eyes were playing tricks on him.   
  
  
  
He was sure, quite positive really, that he had set out for James' mansion, a chance to break away from the constant headache he was living. The predicament of the moment was that he now hovered lightly over the ground that just happened to preceded the old battered shack in Canterbury.  
  
His mouth curled into a sad smile, and he let out a sigh, one withheld for years on end.  
  
Hello again, Elise. he said with a wave to the gravestone residing in the back of the property.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Remus leaned back on the rickety couch, and took a second to clear his mind as he stared at the cobweb ceiling above.  
  
What the hell do I do now, Elise? he questioned. He rubbed his calloused hands across his eyes, and wondered why he felt like crying. How do I get out of this mess... Please,... I don't know what to do anymore, that's what scares me the most... I can't be alone again.  
  
  
  
Remus awoke to the sensation of extreme fear. Instinctively, he grabbed for his wand and evoked his canine abilities to inform him further.  
  
What the? he asked himself, thinking something was horribly awry with his nose. A moment later, his doubts were answered as his front door flew open.  
  
Make one move and-  
  
Remus stared.  
  
The intruder stared.  
  
Both of them rolled their eyes at God.  
  
You have got to be kidding me. she said sarcastically. This is some sick joke my boss is playing, right?  
  
If it is, I wasn't told. Remus said casually, setting his wand down on the makeshift coffee table in front of him. So, you're back working for the Ministry?  
  
Ms. Horder frowned, and nodded briefly. She hadn't lowered her wand yet, a very unnerving indication for the unfortunate few who found themselves at the other end. Dark Arts Defense Squad. she said quietly, still staring at Remus.  
  
Er, want to sit down? he asked, now worried that she was still armed and he wasn't. The fact that she declined without words increased his tension.  
  
You wouldn't happen to know a man by the name of Simmers, would you? the young woman asked, stepping closer. We've been tracking him for a few years... And the other day...  
  
Remus tried to look innocent as best he could, but apparently it was not enough to fool the professional. Before he could lean forward to grab his wand, he found himself on the wrong side of a trained Auror.  
  
Make one more move kid, I promise you'll regret it. she warned, the confused look gone from her blue eyes. I came here to bring back who's been busting our werewolf capture program, and I intend to finish that particular assignment.  
  
By bringing in your own student? Remus dared. I don't think you can. You know me too well,  
  
she interrupted with a threatening flick of her wand. I know you well enough, it makes perfect sense. So spill it, kid. How the hell did you get involved in the worst bust program against the Ministries?  
  
Remus swallowed, his voice caught in his throat. Ms. Horder on-duty was quite different from the cynical woman that used to laugh at foolish boys from Hogwarts.  
  
I was caught. he began, very slowly leaning back on the couch. Ms. Horder moved closer, and carefully snatched his wand off the table.  
  
And our good friend Simmers weaseled you out of Ministry hands? she guessed, not waiting for a confirming answer. Well kid, you're in a hell of a lot of trouble. My Squad has a warrant out for your capture, then.  
  
Then why haven't you called them in? Remus asked, eyes narrowed to dark slits. If you truly wanted to, I wouldn't be here right now.  
  
Where you involved in the last raid or not? the Auror asked tightly. I like you Lupin, I don't want to see your life be ruined because of a few bad choices.  
  
Remus smiled, and let out a small laugh. My entire _life_ has been a bad choice. One after another, and it can't possibly be ruined any further... No, I don't regret a thing that's happened with the Ministry. They're the ones that are making bad choices where I'm concerned.  
  
Where you, or where you not, present? she repeated, standing right above him with a very serious glare affixed upon him.  
  
Remus admitted almost mockingly. I was there. I simply had a blast, too. Trying to get twenty-some werewolves out under _fire_ and all. Guns, you know. There was a four year old girl crying the whole time, and a ring of four men who killed my brother's child the previous night. I had a blast, Ms. Horder. You see, everything that's happened to me has been wasted effort. he continued, meeting her gaze without fear. Everything I've done has been to keep my family together. It hasn't worked. Remus declared, letting a lifetime's worth of misery spill out. It had been too long, so long since he had told anyone. My father tried to kill me when I was nine, and I slit his throat while I was half-transformed.  
  
She shut her eyes for a moment, and the wand lowered barely an inch.  
  
My mother couldn't handle it, her son being a murderer. So my brother, only two years elder, fled with me. We stole, we lied, and we fought just for a scrap of food and an empty shack to sleep in. I was _happy_ like that, sad as it seems. Those were the best years of my life! But no, like everything that's happened, it didn't last. Romolus went off to Hogwarts at request of the old Headmaster, and I was left on my own ten months a year.  
  
You cou-  
  
She wouldn't take me back, I tried. he explained, still laughing at himself sarcastically. His werewolf precognitive senses were pulling scraps of conversation into his thoughts before they were spoken. My own mother slammed the door in my face and denied me a place to live. She died too, like everything else.  
  
He shook his head, and shrugged at the woman.  
  
I'd lost everything. he admitted. So when the Ministry caught me, I didn't want to escape anymore. Why go back to the world that felt it necessary to destroy my life whenever I managed to grasp onto a little joy?  
  
  
  
Some brave kid, really he was only a kid, got me out. I was thrown here, in this very house. He waved his hands around to emphasize the moment he arrived in the tiny shack. I met a girl, fell in love, and she died. Want to know just how she died?  
  
Ms. Horder tried to say no, but the words never made it. The boy continued on in such a frantic frenzy, crazed with his words. It was as if he felt they would destroy him if he didn't force them out now, that they'd be locked inside forever.  
  
You. Your squad of protectors' shot her, many many times. I carried her back to this house, bloody as hell itself, and watched her die. Remus knew he was crying now, but he took no action to wipe away his tears. I couldn't stand it. Watching all the rescued ones come back, I couldn't stand it any longer! Having to watch innocent people walk in your front door, mangled beyond recognition and too scared to go out in public. I still can't stand it.  
  
So you tried to stop it? Ms. Horder asked, her voice taking on a gentle tone Remus had never heard before. It had been years since he'd heard that tone. Never before had it come from one who tracked his kind as prey.  
  
I had to do something. He tried, but one can only do so much... After a while it was my game. As soon as I left my false little world of security, once school ended for the holiday', it was right back to living a lie. Taking on another identity and saving a few, it numbed the pain. It was normal, consistent. I had a home and people who accepted me for who I was...  
  
Remus heard the wand fall to the ground, and felt the comforting weight next to him.  
  
It changed. he said simply, welcoming the arm about his shoulder. An unfamiliar warmth, one he wouldn't allow anyone to offer before.  
  
My brother was there... I couldn't tell him who I was, but I could be with him. It was nice. But, it changed. Remus took a moment to catch his shifty voice, and finally took notice that the Auror sent to capture him was now embracing him. Rom's wife was attacked on the full moon. She miscarried, and she was too scared to stay near my brother. Where Rom was, I would be. She knew I was one, one of those who stole her son.  
  
It's not your fault, she said quietly.  
  
Romolus was... He snapped. The only thing he had was gone, and he needed revenge. Remus muttered, his words unsteady and his face changing so rapidly it was hard for the woman to tell what he was feeling.  
  
The raid?  
  
I was there helping them escape. Remus mumbled. But Romolus showed up, with a gun. He knew how to kill us, he knows everything about us. He grew up raising one. Remus said with a sick laugh. To him, I was just... Another monster. I was in the way again. He wanted them dead, and that included me. But I couldn't let him hurt them, so-  
  
Come on, I'll take you home. Ms. Horder interrupted, not wanting to hear the rest of his rueful tale. Tell me where to go Lupin, you shouldn't stay here any longer.  
  
  
  
Stop there, intruder.  
  
Wonderful, they have guards. Ms. Horder mumbled resentfully, rolling her eyes at the large man. Look, I'm not one for lengthy conversations, so how about we skip the shit and get to the point. I work for the Ministry, in a dispatch unit that would simply love to know of this town. Second point, I've carried your less-than-lightweight buddy here all through the forest, thanks to your lovely Anti-Apparation Field. Now please, open your pretty gate and let me get on with my illogical existence.  
  
The guard, a very burly man that could take the small woman down easily, blinked in confusion. Twice he peered around the strange lady, trying to figure out if Remus was truly the boy slumped across her back.  
  
she said loudly, snapping her fingers in front of his face. Gate, want to try opening it for me?  
  
With no response, she brushed past him, and lightly tapped it, checking for any protective charms. Shrugging to herself, she flipped a small clasping lock, and allowed herself entrance.  
  
Pretty shabby place, I'd suggest hiring someone to fix it up. she said jokingly, looking around the small stretch of road than ran between the rows of buildings. Oh, hello? she called, waving with her free arm at a passing girl. The small child ran off with a terrified look, slamming a door behind her.  
  
Alright. I never did like kids anyway... Ms. Horder muttered, trying to find someone nearby.  
  
  
  
You'd be Caleb Simmers?  
  
Who's asking? he questioned through the door crack, not allowing her passage into his home.  
  
Celia Horder, Special Forces Auror, Second Class. Member of the Dark Arts Defense Squad, you know, the ones that deal with Dark cases, like the werewolf crisis. she said with a mocking salute, fully intending the anger the man. It was her small counteraction for all the paperwork and headaches he had caused her before.  
  
Caleb blinked, and finally took notice of Remus slummed next to the door. With a fitful string of swearing, he ripped the door open and grabbed Remus' collar.  
  
He isn't going to wake up conventionally. Ms. Horder informed him. Little git wouldn't exactly tell me where to go...  
  
Veritaserum is Ministry regulated. Caleb said, his wand drawn immediately.  
  
Oh, come off it kid. she said, not letting him protest to being called kid'. I am part of an elite squad of mages, you honestly think I don't know alternatives?  
  
Just wake him up. Caleb grumbled, his hand still gripping Remus' robes.  
  
Shrugging to herself, Ms. Horder removed the spell and awoke a very disgruntled teenager.  
  
WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? _WERE_ YOU THINKING?  
  
Remus rubbed his eyes, trying to make some sort of comprehension out of the moment.  
  
How the hell could you ruin us like this? Caleb shouted, pulling him inside the house. A second later he slammed the door, promptly locking out the confused Auror.  
  
I'm, here?  
  
Damn right you're here! he yelled. You brought a Godforsaken _Ministry_ officer to my front door!  
  
Outside, behind the protection of the dense oak door, Ms. Horder chuckled to herself.  
  
I guess I should be ashamed of enjoying this, she mused to herself, finding a comfortable place on the wall to lean against. but I'm not.  
  
  
  
Oh Jesus, are they going at it again? a woman asked, setting down a brown paper bag of groceries at the top of the small porch. Ms. Horder, relieved of her official Ministry robes for fear that she'd be mauled, gestured a yes.  
  
You must be new around here. I'm Melhane. she introduced, pulling her dark hair behind her ears and out of her face. I'm terribly sorry, they get like that some time... Almost like brothers, aren't they?  
  
More like a married couple. Ms. Horder said with a guilty smile. It's not a problem, I've just been out here admiring the city.  
  
Melhane nodded, and looked around with grim dissatisfaction. There's still so much more to be done. I fear it will never be suitable to raise the children...  
  
Oh, you have kids? Ms. Horder asked. It was a divine hatred of hers, small humans. At the moment she wished the information so she could avoid the brats at all costs, though she was misunderstood.  
  
They aren't mine, they're Rem... Well, it's complicated. she said, scratching at her head with a carefree smile. But oh, they're adorable little dears! Twins, you know. Poor things though, the Ministry executed their parents over a year ago. We've been taking care of them since Caleb and Remus pulled them out. You've met Caleb, I take? Melhane said very quickly, eager to make what she assumed was a new arrival feel at home.  
  
Ms. Horder confirmed, curious in a sense of her profession. Is he the one that started this city? Remus only told me a little, I found him rather shy of talk.  
  
Oh, yes. Caleb started this many years ago, when he was eleven I think. He was captured at ten and held as a test subject, all sorts of horrible experiments. When he escaped, it became his life goal to help as many of us as he could. Remus is following his footsteps, as you know. Started a while ago, with Caleb of course, but he's been working on his own recently. Melhane confessed, smiling in admiration. Just the other day he saved over a dozen in quite a raid.  
  
Really? How wonderful. Ms. Horder grinned, fingering her wand in her pocket. So, tell me more about their trips, they sound very exciting.  
  
Well, I haven't been around as long as the others, but fr-  
  
  
  
The door slammed open, exposing a red-faced and very agitated Caleb.  
  
Caleb! Be polite, we have a guest! Melhane snapped back with a sour look.  
  
Oh, very cute. he shot back, thinking it a joke. Whatever the hell your name is, Serena or whatnot-  
  
  
  
-in here now.  
  
What is wrong with today? Melhane interrupted, stepping forward and glaring right at her boyfriend. You've never been this rude to a new arrival before!  
  
Oh, you think this woman is a new arrival? Caleb laughed cynically. No, you misunderstand Mel. She's not one of us, not at all.  
  
What do... You mean? she questioned, looking back at Ms. Horder in confusion.  
  
She's the enemy Mel, she's the one that bloody well kills us. And our little hero boy led her right here.  
  
Behind him, Remus blinked, and slowly gazed from his mentor to his teacher. As realization dawned upon his night of ignorance, he hung his head in shame.  
  
I'm... Sorry. he whispered. I'm really sorry!  
  
He ran by, brushing past Caleb and Ms. Horder before either had ample time to react.  
  
That kid is just not having a good life. she muttered with a frown.  
  
  
  
**A/n Oh Lord above... I'm alive! Yes, I have endured Hell Week. For those unfamiliar with my school (all of you, I pray) Hell Week is the first week and a half of bootcamp-esque conditioning for school sports. It sucks, I'm miserable from it, and unfortunately I made the lacrosse team. I think I'm going to quit now that I've endured 33 hours of training. Yes, I'm insane.  
  
Anyway, so sorry for the HUGE and painful delay in updating! I'm truly truly honest-to-God trying to get these chapters done quicker, but it's freakishly difficult right now.  
  
  
In other news, SG's 1 year anniversary is rapidly approaching! A few of you, Lynx namely (love ya!) have been reading this since its date of publishing. For this special edition I plan a surprise, hopefully, so keep your eyes open.  
  
**Iggie, who is **very sorry** for all the unnecessary lay overs.  
  
  
**Title Meaning- **Moenibus Munire means to wall up, as with stone. Metaphorically, it's Remus holding everything inside for too long, ie pent up emotion.


	66. Part LXVI Beyond The Wood

A/n- Back for more, eh?   
  
Rating- PG-13... I went light on swearing and all such nonsense, but what I lacked in curses I make up for with angst.  
  
Disclaimer- Nothin' but the heartache belongs to me! Well, the WU and non-cannon... Yeah, you know the drill.  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXVI - Beyond the Wood  
  
  
  
  
Leave him. Ms. Horder said sternly, grabbing Caleb before he could run unsteadily after the boy. He's having a bad enough time as it is, I don't think you reprimanding him is going to improve his dark outlook on life any more.  
  
Who the hell are you to tell me that? Caleb demanded, snatching his cane from the door side. To his surprise, even werewolf might wouldn't allow him escape from the woman's grasp.  
  
I'm a concerned woman who knows some things about that boy that you don't. she said icily.   
  
What could _you_ know?  
  
Caleb, Celia, please. Melhane interjected, stepping between them and guiding Ms. Horder's hand away from around Caleb's neck. If we're going to help Remus, I think it's best that we stop trying to kill one another.  
  
Both stared at each other, and reluctantly nodded.  
  
How about we sit down? Melhane suggested, trying to find a way to break the tension.  
  
What about Remus?  
  
He'll come back. Ms. Horder declared. He always runs back sooner or later.  
  
Caleb sat down on the couch, in the middle. Clearly, e didn't want to share the space. Taking a seat as far away as possible, Ms. Horder set her wand out on the floor in front of her.  
  
You can let your guard down. she said. Caleb kept his own wand close.  
  
So why the hell are you here?  
  
I found Lupin instead of you.  
  
  
  
I'll be right back, I'm going to go get some tea. Melhane said loudly, praying to God that both would still be alive when she returned.  
  
My squad has been tracking you for a long time, you leave very little trail to follow so it's taken far too long for us to find you. I was sent to bring you in to the Ministry, and instead I found an emotionally damaged student of mine.  
  
Jesus Christ, they know where we are? Caleb asked, his face devoid of all colour.  
  
No. We were only able to find Remus by chance that he cast a spell during his raid, we following it back to Canterbury. I presumed it had been you... As said, I broke the door open and found him near tears on a sofa. Not exactly my intentions for the day. she said lightly, crossing her arms. I don't know what the hell I'm going to tell my boss when I go back. I was supposed to bring in your head.  
  
You aren't going to? he asked carefully, fingering his wand again cautiously.  
  
Look, Lupin isn't a happy person right now. From what I've gathered, he'd kill himself right now if he weren't afraid to.  
  
Then _why_ are we letting him run off? Caleb questioned, standing up from his seat.  
  
Because he'll be fine. Ms. Horder repeated. He's a smart kid for the most part, he'll be fine.  
  
Slowly, Caleb sat back down, and narrowed his eyes in thought.  
  
What happened to him this time?  
  
I believe he killed his brother.  
  
Caught off guard, Caleb slipped from the edge of the couch and crashed onto the floor.  
  
He _what?_  
  
Look, to make an extremely long and painful story short, his brother's wife miscarried because of a werewolf attack. He went ot the Ministry to seek revenge on the same werewolves Remus went to help escape. They met, the brother had a gun and a hangover, and Remus was determined to set his people free. Henceforth, I think he's dead now. Ms. Horder said all too quickly, butchering what should have been an intense tale.  
  
Caleb blinked, and didn't bother helping himself back to the couch.  
  
Oh my God... That would explain- I mean, Romolus was all he had outside- Are you sure he's dead?  
  
she said simply. He _looked_ dead. Not to seem cruel, but I let my training take over. Instead of hanging around, I followed the trail his spell left behind.  
  
With a long string of curses as his response, Caleb pushed himself upright with a wince and he stumbled over to the door. Ms. Horder was right behind before he could even turn around and ask her to come.  
  
Leave your wand. he ordered. I wouldn't trust a Ministry hunter with the time of day.  
  
Fair enough. she said, setting her weapon down on a table as she left. A moment later, she had a mental deliberation with herself. What the hell am I doing? This place is a gold mine for me... I'd be promoted out of the whole damn division for bringing this in.  
  
Then why haven't you done it? Caleb asked, catching her musing as he tried to smell out where his friend had run off to.  
  
Eh, I don't have the courage to take on an entire community of werewolves. she admitted without feeling the least bit embarrassed.  
  
Or the idiocy to try. he mumbled.  
  
  
  
Get up. Caleb sighed, relieved to have found Remus, though still disappointed in him.   
  
Leave me alone.  
  
Why, so you can sit here and cry like a five year old child? Oh, that reminds me, two of such are back in town waiting to say hello to you.  
  
They can wait. Remus muttered, making sure his back was turned to Caleb as he stepped through the brush of the forest. Besides, they're better off without me around.  
  
How the hell do you figure that? Caleb asked, slipping briefly as his cane dug into a badger tunnel and caught there. Those runts love you, and they need you.  
  
Everyone I get close to dies! Remus yelled, his voice cracking slightly.   
  
Hey, I'm perfectly fine... Alright, bad example. Um-  
  
Remus snapped, shaking his head. Everyone I care about is gone.  
  
Your friends. Caleb answered, finding a tree to lean against. He knew better than to press open space on a disgruntled werewolf. James, and that other one... And the third one you talk about. They're alright, and they care for you. A lot, I might remind.  
  
Yeah, and I bet if they stick with me much longer they'll wind up dead or otherwise. Remus told himself.  
  
For Christ's sake Lupin, stop being pathetic! Caleb yelled loudly, his face twisted into a scowl. This isn't typical of you, I mean, you're strong as hell. Determined to a fault when it comes to nearly anything. Stop _crying_ and find a way to fix your problems instead of moaning over them. It accomplishes nothing.  
  
How am I supposed to fix my problems? My problem is that my life is a worthless piece of shit and I don't feel like bothering anymore. he grumbled, rubbing his eyes indiscreetly.   
  
Shut up. Caleb demanded. Just shut the hell up. He stressed each word, stretching it out and forcing Remus to listen to his words. You have so much potential, if you could only see it! You're bright, you're strong, and you have a good heart-  
  
That's killed more people than I care to recall.  
  
Saving your own life and the lives of others isn't what i consider corrupt. Caleb said, wishing he would turn around. Your father was going to kill you. Your mother was not your own fault. And your brother... Could you really sit by and watch him kill a child?  
  
A child that killed his own! Us! back there is a man who feasted on the flesh of my family!  
  
And you say you have it bad. Caleb said slowly, taking a few steps forward. Making sure to not move quickly, acting as though in the presence of an animal, he set himself down on the fallen tree next to Remus. We _all_ have our own demons. It comes with the curse... There is more curse' in our affliction than changing body on the full moon. Outcasted, beaten, hated. It is all part of lycanthropy. he explained.  
  
Beside him, Remus turned away, hiding his face in the shadows the trees cast down.  
  
We have to fight to survive in a world that choses not to accept us, and struggle to live through the trials we all inevitably face. Yes, you have faced more than some of us.  
  
Too many. he said bitterly.  
  
But we all make it! That's the difference between you and me, Lupin. I don't let it get me anymore.  
  
With a sad sigh, he put a hand on Remus' shoulder, and forced him around.  
  
Come on, kid, you have a long way to go in life. You, alone from the rest of this city, have a future beyond the wood. One kind man we'll never meet accepted you into Hogwarts, a dream many of us dare not create.  
  
Hogwarts has been nothing but a smack in the face for the past years. Remus sad weakly, his voice failing him. I'll never be the same as anyone else, I never been.  
  
Maybe that's a good thing. Caleb said gently, trying to find a smile within himself. Honestly, I pity the lot of fools out there. They will grow up not knowing any better than to blind-sightedly judge one another.  
  
What if they find out about me? Remus interrupted, pulling away from Caleb's touch. They'll kill me Caleb, or lock me away. I love Hogwarts despite everything, but I hate it for the same. I'm afraid I'll lose the only thing I have anymore.  
  
Caleb nodded, and stood up unsteadily.  
  
Just keep pushing on Remus, always. For the rest of your life you're going to face hells others could never imagine. It takes a better man to survive the curse we bear, and not just live _with_ it, but defeat it. he said. Hold on to the things you love, and deal with the ones you despise. You're strong enough to conquer them, you alone. To save us, Remus, you must first save yourself.  
  
Without another word or offering of advice, Caleb set off through the wood. His footsteps echoed on the snapping twig, the thud of his cane every other pace falling like rain.  
  
Beyond him, Remus stared off into the distance, to the edge of the wood.  
  
Alright, Elise, I did promise. I'll save us. he declared with a somber face.  
  
  
  
Look, I have to be off. Ms. Horder said, setting down her fork and wiping the corner of her mouth with her sleeve. Thank you for the dinner, and for not killing me.  
  
Oh, it's no problem Celia. Melhane said, trying to smile enough to distract from the glares Caleb had been feeding her all throughout the meal. We're very thankful for your understanding.  
  
A small thump sounded, and Caleb's eyes bulged. Presumably, Melhane had stomped on his foot under the table.  
  
Yes, thank you for not reporting us. he said tightly, his face wrenched in pain.  
  
Chuckling to herself, Ms. Horder nodded and waved goodbye before she Apparated.  
  
I thought we had a field against that. Melhane asked in confusion.  
  
We do. Caleb muttered, massaging his foot. We also claim to have sane leaders, and I'm sure you know by now that it's one horrible lie.  
  
Where is Remus, anyway? she asked, finishing off her fresh venison before stacking the dirty plates atop each other by way of magic.  
  
He took the runts to his friend's house.  
  
Is that a wise decision?  
  
Caleb said blandly. But they were giving me a headache. I figure, spread the wealth.  
  
she snapped, throwing a wet dishrag in his face.  
  
Knock it off woman! I'm injured!  
  
You'll be even more injured if you call me woman again. Melhane threatened.  
  
  
  
Moony! Hey, good to see-  
  
James was cut short as the boys toppled him to the ground, eager to wrestle with someone they could easily defeat. laughing hysterically, James pounded his fist on the ground, unable to say You win!'  
  
Corey, Jason, get off. James' face isn't supposed to be purple. he pointed out. Quickly he grabbed the backs of their messy shirts and liberated his close friend.  
  
Hello boys. he said with a colourful face. Would you like something to eat?  
  
D'ya have any carrots? Jason asked, trying to shove his brother out of the way.  
  
Carrots? God Remus, what did you do, brainwash them? he laughed. No, sorry, I'm all out of anything healthy. There's chocolate pound cake and a few candy bars-  
  
Both of the boys had run off before he could finish his sentence.  
  
Do they know where the kitchen is?  
  
Where there is chocolate, they will follow. Remus chuckled. That's a bad idea, you know. Getting them hyper like this so early in the afternoon.  
  
Sirius is upstairs somewhere, I'll let him handle the twins. James said as Remus threw his cloak onto a sitting chair in the front room. He led him into his favourite room, one decorated with Muggle beanbag chairs and a very cheap television sitting atop a plastic milk crate in the center of a shag rug.  
  
So, what's been new so far? Any great and exciting adventures we missed out on? he questioned, flopping into a beanbag that spit out several foam beads. James grabbed one, and happily squished it between his fingers in amusement.  
  
No, none so far. Remus lied. What have you and Sirius been up to since school ended?  
  
James grinned wide, indicating that he had been up to no good whatsoever.  
  
Oh, not a whole lot. he said with glittering eyes.  
  
What'd you blow up this time? Remus laughed, finding a chair he thought wouldn't explode upon sitting in. He guessed wrong.  
  
In a flurry of styrofoam pellets, James and Remus happily tried to find one another. A short while later, Sirius joined the brawl with two small amoebas clinging to his legs.  
  
Ah, the good ol' days! he chanted, spitting a stray artificial ben from his mouth.  
_  
_Remus smiled, and nodded his head.  
  
  
'Night Moony.  
  
Goodnight James, Sirius. Oh, did you-  
  
They've been asleep for a while. Sirius assured, closing the large redwood doors of Remus' guest room.  
  
Quietly he sat up in the massive and engulfing bed. Overhead, an animated painting of a night sky flickered peacefully, though Remus felt none of it.  
  
I have to know. he muttered, getting out of bed and wrapping himself in a light robe. Trekking over to the desk at the far end of the room, he sat himself down and waited for the parchment and inked quills to appear, as he knew the would.  
  
_I'm at James Potter's mansion, you know where it is. You're welcome to come.  
  
I'm sorry, brother.  
  
_He folded up the untidy scrawl and went over to a painted-glass window next to him. Opening the pane carefully, he let out three long, shrill whistles and waited for one of James' many owls to arrive.  
  
If you don't find him, please bring me the letter back. I'll understand then. Remus explained, tying the message to its carrier. The tiny black owl offered a supportive hoot and nip, and flew off into the night, disappearing into the blackness.  
  
Wandering back to his bed some time later, Remus found himself staring at the false stars until the sun had begun to rise.  
  
I... I couldn't have. he said out loud, his face tight.  
  
The door creaked open, and both the twins wondered why their father was so unhappy.  
  
  
  
I know I didn't! he said sharply. There's no way... But... Did I?  
  
Remmie, Uncle Sir'is made pancakes. Jason announced, running up to the bed and pulling on Remus' sleeve.   
  
C'mon, breakfast is ready! Corey pleaded, impatient.  
  
A rustle at the window caused all three to turn and watch the owl land on the sill. Without explanation, Remus scooped both boys into his arms and hurried downstairs.  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Ya know, I bet the only reason you all come back for more is because of my positively daemonic cliffhangers. Well, I apologize, but they're so fun! Ah!  
**  
Happy Anniversary, Seeing Grey! ((My sincere sympathy goes out to Remus for all that I have put him through in the past year. (Also, **MITCH,** I swear if you're reading this, I'm so sorry about your mum.))  
  
Iggie


	67. Part LXVII Chocolate Werewolves and Mis...

A/n- Alright, I had THREE versions for this chapter. It would not cooperate... I dunno, it wouldn't cooperate. I think the 620 hours of Anime my friend sent me for my upcoming birthday has been interfering with my writing. XP  
  
Rating- PG-13 for general not-nice-ness.  
  
Disclaimer- Not mine. Simple, hai?  
  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXVII - Chocolate Werewolves and Misery  
  
  
  
  
  
What's up Moony, you look a little down. James noticed, thoughtfully tapping his fork on his plate. At least ti was resumed he was being thoughtful; Sirius figured he may have just wanted more food and was too lazy to go get it.  
  
Remus asked, blinking suddenly as he snapped out of a daze.   
  
I said, are you alright?  
  
Just a little distracted... he mumbled, poking at his uneaten portion of meat and vegetables.  
  
No, we hadn't noticed. Sirius said sarcastically. Seriously, you've been acting pretty suspicious since you arrived.  
  
And if Sirius has noticed, God only knows it must be obvious.  
  
Sirius chimed, and then furrowed his eyebrows. Wait, what? Hey!  
  
So what's been bothering you? James asked calmly, ignoring Sirius' malicious glares and frequent grumbling death threats.  
  
I need to start back with the Underground again, you know, helping people get to Caleb. Since he's still out of commission, I'm really the only one to do it, but... I really don't want to. Every summer has been a load of dung, all I want to do is sit back and watch television or something. he said lightly.  
  
Then why don't you? No one is forcing you to-  
  
It's my responsibility. Remus interrupted, frowning.  
  
You didn't ask for it. James reminded, setting down his mug. Come on Moony, don't be so hard on yourself. None of the people at the Underground expect you to help every single werewolf in distress.  
  
Take a vacation, it _is_ the holidays after all. Sirius suggested.  
  
Remus said. Rather suddenly he stood up, and looked around the room as if startled.  
  
What's wrong? James questioned.  
  
Where are the twins?  
  
James and Sirius shared a glance, and bit their lips.  
  
  
  
Somewhere... Not here? Sirius suggested, grinning guiltily.  
  
Lord help me. I just _lost_ two boys.  
  
They couldn't have gone very far, I mean, they were just here. James pointed out.  
  
Yes, past tense. They _were_ here, in this bloody mansion! It could quite literally take weeks to find them! Remus shouted, his mind going into a panic-overdrive. Caleb would just love to hear that he lost two small boys while visiting at a friend's house.  
  
Well, that's enough excuse for a vacation, isn't it? Sirius muttered, face twisted slightly. Er... Remus, c'mon, don't glare at me like that. Really, it's scary. Moony- back off, c'mon, you'll- James, GET HIM OFF ME! Sirius pleaded.  
  
Pardon? I seem to have mysteriously gone deaf and blind. James said with a content grin, watching as Remus ground his good friend into the floor angrily.  
  
PRONGS! PLEEEEEEASE!  
  
James watched with a whimsical smile as Remus reprimanded Sirius in a very unconventional manner.  
  
  
  
Maybe they went-  
  
Remus snapped, glaring back at his friends momentarily.  
  
He looked ahead, staring down one of the many hallways in James' infinite residence.  
  
He's kinda scary when he does the wolf thing, don't you think? James whispered.  
  
Remus' ear twitched backwards, and released a short growl. With a stiff face, James nodded, silencing himself.  
  
Eh, sorry.  
  
This way. Remus declared at long last, facing the way his nose lead.  
  
The trio followed a long, winding hallway, later descending a spiral staircase that James casually informed them he had never seen before. After a short walk, they arrived at the door of a dark basement.  
  
Hi Daddy. Jason said happily, waving under the light of his floating wand.  
  
Remus was more surprised to see that he had completed a spell than to see that both boys were completely covered in chocolate.  
  
Want some? Corey offered, producing one of many bars he had stuffed in his robe pockets.  
  
Where did you get those? James asked curiously, accepting the gift with a grin.  
  
Sirrie had em in his room.  
  
You were in my room? Sirius asked, wondering when they had sneaked in unnoticed.  
  
You were holding out on me? James questioned, thoroughly hurt.  
  
Hey, I'm entitled to keep a little chocolate to myself Prongs, I shouldn't have to share _everything_ with you!  
  
It's chocolate! How could you _not_ give me some?  
  
James, I have s'more if you want a bit. Jason said happily, hoping to end the argument with the offering of another bar. Sirius snatched it, and stuffed it in his own pocket.  
  
That's my candy! he snapped.  
  
Hey James, what is this place? Remus asked slowly, illuminating his own wand. The additional light exposed a very large, circular room that appeared to be an old office of some sort. Dusty cabinets and file racks littered a far wall, old bookshelves another, and two identical desks lay piled with rotting paper directly in front of him.  
  
No clue. James said idly, stealing a candy bar from Sirius when he was staring about the room in awe. I really haven't been in about half of the rooms here, especially down in this wing. Didn't know it existed until, oh, ten minutes ago.  
  
And you live here? Sirius muttered.  
  
I wonder what all this stuff is. Remus pondered out loud, running his hand over a filthy notebook on one of the desks.  
  
Probably just a bunch of old papers the housekeepers shoved down here. They do that sometimes. James suggested.  
  
They've been down here the better of a twenty years judging by the... Dust. Remus mumbled, flicking away the body of a dead fly. Curiously, he wiped the blanket of cobweb from a portfolio and held it up.  
  
Mind if I look?  
  
I couldn't care at all. James said, sitting down on a fancy rug in the center of the room with the twins.  
  
Remus shrugged, and opened the folder. After a brief encounter with a dust storm that threatened to choke him, his face paled considerably at the discovery of what was inside.  
  
Padfoot, how about you take them upstairs. James said very seriously, handing Jason and Corey over to his friend. They might get sick, down here in the bad air.  
  
Alright... If this is a ploy to get my chocolate-  
  
Really, take them up.  
  
Sirius departed with two chocolate-covered werewolves, slightly confused but not in the mood to question his friend's intentions.  
  
So, exactly what kind of Aurors were your parents? Remus asked, wishing the folder was lying to him.  
  
I don't know, to be honest. James started quietly, looking at the floor. He was showing such a lost look, one Remus had never seen before on the troublemaker. But I do know they weren't revered as saints by everyone. They made most of their money, my money, by doing the dirty work no one else wanted to touch. Taking dark assignments, associating with shady people. I only know what the housekeepers will tell me.  
  
You might want to look this over. Remus said, his voice caught in a monotone. He tossed over the file, and turned back to the desk. Maybe you should camp here for the night...  
  
I've never known them. James said even quieter, his head hung low, hands clutching the unopened document. All I have are pictures and stories, lies even. I know they lie, make me believe mum and dad were two great vanquishers of evil. I...   
  
Remus blinked, surprised his friend was breaking down so suddenly.  
  
Don't want to know the truth? Remus finished, shaking his head in disgust as he read another file from the desk. Maybe you don't. Personally-  
  
You should go take Corey and Jason home, take Sirius while you're at it. James interrupted, swallowing hard. I need some time to myself.  
  
Remus nodded, walking silently out of the room. Behind, through a crack in the office door, he watched James slowly sink his way to the ground, undecided on his course of action.  
  
To live in a lie is to be content.' Remus quoted, forgetting that they were the words of his brother.  
  
Rather, he wasn't letting himself remember.  
  
  
  
Jesus... I-I...  
  
Come on James, let's go get something to eat. You've been down here for hours. Remus interrupted, stepping into the room.  
  
James turned away, furiously rubbing at his eyes.  
  
I thought you left. he said weakly.  
  
I did, I also came back. Remus answered, leaning against the edge of the door. So, are you alright?  
  
These are all their old projects, their assignments. James explained with a weary expression, his eyes red and watery, vivid without the glasses to hide behind. He had moved them elsewhere.  
  
I suppose you found some things you didn't want to find.  
  
Yeah... But I needed it. James muttered, trying to force a smile. You have memories of your parents Remus, you don't know what it's like to grow up on just words and pictures. It isn't right...  
  
Most of the memories I have I would prefer not to. Remus admitted. Every single good memory I have is ruined by the rest, tainted.  
  
But they're still memories! James exclaimed, his eyes threatening to leak once more. I would trade anything I have, this whole damn fortune of mine, just so I could recall a face, a smile. Hell Moony, I'd like to remember anything at all, bad or otherwise. It's still a memory.  
  
You should really go get something to eat, you're going to pass out down here.  
  
I'm not leaving. he said stubbornly, determined to read every scrap of a paper before he would depart from the office. I need to know this-  
  
No you don't. Remus said sharply, snapping James from a daze. You're better off believing what you want to believe, not this. No good will come of this Prongs, it's just going to hurt you.  
  
It would become a dangerous addiction. One he needed, but one that would hurt him more.  
  
You don't understand... I need to know the truth about them. This is all I have.  
  
I do understand. I know all about wanting the truth. he replied, nodding solemnly. I've wanted the truth about my family, I've fought to find the truth about the Ministry, and I know it now. It only hurts. The holy, greater truth is that we're unwanted pests to be used as cruelly as they find possible. The truth? Our disease is a byproduct of their hatred. Even the truth about the cure, that's what I want and despise right now. I need to know the truth, but I fear the answer. There may not _be_ a cure. Cor could've been a waste, and the same with all my efforts.  
  
If you're afraid of the truth, why do you keep searching? James asked quietly, clutching a file tightly to his chest as if finding comfort in it's dull embrace.  
  
The same reason as you. Remus answered, his face caught in the moment. They shared a single look, a common thread of understanding that was becoming painfully obvious to both.  
  
James nodded, setting his precious folder down on one of his parent's desks, grabbing his wet glasses.  
  
Let's go, then.  
  
As he left, he shut the door, not intending to go back in again.  
  
  
  
Remus sighed, thoughtfully watching as one of his only close friends, one of the few people he trusted, sat at the table remorsefully. For the past half hour all he had done was shove his pancakes around in a circle, swirling the syrup into nonsensical shapes.  
  
And all he had been able to do was stare.  
  
Are you sure you're alright? he finally asked, breaking the silence that had plagued the pair since they had left the mansion.  
  
It's kind of funny, don't you think? Everyone always told me my parents were these wonderful people... They did some horrible things Moony, things you wouldn't want to tell the twins.  
  
Such as? he asked. He knew from experience that finding someone to talk to was possibly the only remedy to certain kinds of inner-turmoil.   
  
This seemed to be one of them.  
  
There was a Dark movement about twenty years ago that the Ministry kept under cover. My father was a mercenary, kind of an assignment-assassin. Brought in thirty Dark mages, all on his own. James said, still swirling his meal about its plate absently.  
  
That's a good thing, though.  
  
The torture wasn't. See, there was a Ministry girl he went to training with. She was captured by a Dark mage... I guess dad felt it necessary to get revenge or something. He tortured the hell out of the men he captured.  
  
James, he could have just been trying to find out where she was. Remus said softly. Don't assume the worst of your father. The whole of our society wouldn't respect your surname if your father was a bad man.  
  
Oh, I don't think he's bad. James muttered. Just... I don't know, it seemed like he abused his power. Our bloodline is one of the strongest, you know. From the reports I found, hell, they said the Potter line is the purest and most saturated magical line in Great Britain.  
  
Who's the first?  
  
My mum. he answered distantly. We're, rather I am, the strongest wizard. Blood-wise.  
  
Remus said, not knowing how to respond. The only thing he knew of his lineage was that the only magical blood in his veins had sprouted from Muggle-borns and horribly mingled families. There wasn't an ounce of purity in him.  
  
He rolled his eyes at the thought, noticing how true it was in another sense.  
  
he started, waiting for him to look up to meet his gaze. Are you bothered by all this because you think you have too much to live up to?  
  
He shrugged once more, and let his sight fall to the jumble of food on the table.  
  
Well, you shouldn't feel that way.  
  
I'm the last surviving Potter, the son of two of the best Aurors the Ministry has seen in a long time. he scoffed. There's a war outside, and apparently I was only born to uphold the tradition of being an Auror, to fight in it.  
  
  
  
I found a letter. James explained, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes for a moment. I'm only here because my parents wanted a son to carry on their path. They knew they were going to die Moony, and they had me anyway. To fight in the war they knew would come.  
  
That isn't tr-  
  
Left me to be raised on my own, by housekeepers who only care that they get paid every month. That's why I'm bitter.  
  
Remus bit his lip, wishing the problem would go away.  
  
I would give anything to be you Remus, anything in the world. I've been jealous of you and Sirius, even Peter, for years. He stopped, and smiled slightly. Who would've thought that the little rich boy would envy a lot such as you? Sirius, his parents are never home, and overprotective because of his sister's passing. Peter's parents are divorced, and he's stuck between their quarrels. And you, Remus...  
  
Raised by a brother barely elder. Shunned by my mother, for killing my father, growing up in filthy streets and witnessing nothing short of hell. he concluded.   
  
You had your brother, he cared for you. I would give up _anything_ to have known what it's like! James exclaimed.  
  
You have a family that cares for you.   
  
No I d-  
  
You have us. Remus pointed out, smiling as best he could, fighting to keep Romolus from his thoughts. So your parents weren't the best in the world, it's no matter. You still have us! Didn't it occur to you Prongs, not once? Families don't have to come in the form of a loving mother and proud father, I sure as hell know that much. he said loudly. All it takes is someone to care for you unconditionally...  
  
So, we're each other's family.  
  
Remus said, smiling tearfully. That's all that counts, what you have now.  
  
Thanks Moony...  
  
Remus nodded once, and offered the best smile he could manage.  
  
_As long as we have each other Remus, we'll be fine.  
  
Promise you'll always be there?  
  
Romolus smiled wide, and placed his younger brother on his shoulders.  
  
Sure thing.  
  
_You lied. Remus muttered, looking out the window. In the dim light, he watched the sunrise over a grey horizon.  
  
You lied Rom, you were supposed to always be there.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Sorry for the delay. I'm depressed again... Yeah. This was just a blah' chapter that sprouted from me listening to depressing music and watching unhappy anime. Sorry if it blew.  
  
**Iggie  
  



	68. Part LXVIII Somewhere I Belong

A/n- Yeah... I doubt you care for my notes. On to the fic!  
  
Note- This is a double post, because these two chapters go together. So instead of one massivly long and confusing ramble, I split it into these. Enjoy.  
  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXVII - Somewhere I Belong  
  
  
  
  
Summer's going to be over soon. James muttered, staring up at the ceiling above. The Marauders lay in James' favourite room, a Muggle style lounge with a television set in the center, somewhat forming a circle with their heads in the center.  
  
Don't remind me. Peter moaned, rolling over on his stomach and biting his lip. We'll be starting seventh year, you know.  
  
Holy Christ. Sirius snapped, his own dark eyes going wide. This is... Our last year together.  
  
I know what we need to do. Remus said with a grin. We need to go out with a bang.  
  
James and Sirius glanced at each other, and burst into identical smiles that only began to inform Remus of the mischief they would plot.  
  
This is going to take some time. James explained. We have to plan it carefully, and make sure everything is perfect. This year has to be perfect.  
  
Perfectly _chaotic_. Sirius corrected, nodding to himself.  
  
That still doesn't solve the problem about summer almost being gone. Peter reminded. We can't sit around for another three weeks and do nothing.  
  
Care to place a few Galleons on that? Sirius asked with a smirk.  
  
We should go on a trip or something. James suggested, sitting up and resting cross-legged.  
  
The trio eagerly made suggestions, eagerly declined such suggestions, and eagerly thwarted Peter every time he made a suggestion.  
  
Remus dozed off, half awake for the next few minutes. Various memories relayed in his mind, taunting him for some time until one of James' old-fashioned phones rang.  
  
Who knows his number besides us? Peter asked quietly.  
  
Er, Moony... It's for you. James said, standing perplexed with the receiver in his hand.  
  
With a shrug, Remus hurried over, and muttered a .  
  
I need you to run an errand for me.  
  
For the love of God Caleb, it's three in the morning. And I'm on vacation, remember? I told you I don't want to be running around the Ministry for a while y-  
  
Too bad. he interrupted sharply. It wont take long, I swear. One of the elders around here found a potentially nasty problem that needs taken care of immediately.  
  
Remus sighed, and rolled his eyes slightly. What do I have to do?  
  
There's a girl near an orphanage on the west shore. She's a stray werewolf that I've been tracking for ages, all over the damn place. I need you to get her, and bring her back to the Underground right away.  
  
What's the address?  
  
Grab the phone when it rings next, I'll set up a psuedo-Portkey. It'll take you right to the girl. Caleb informed.  
  
Pseudo? It's safe, right?  
  
You're looking for a scrawny girl, about your age, brown hair. Caleb said without answering the question. There was a short pause, then Remus finally accepted.  
  
Alright. And you owe me for this.  
  
Sure kid. he laughed, hanging up his end with a soft click. Remus set the receiver back on its hook, and looked back to his inquiring friends.  
  
Er, I have to go run an errand, I wont be back for a day or so. he said.  
  
Aw, come on Moony, you told us you were going to take a break from work!  
  
You're _always_ busy. Sirius groaned.  
  
Can't be helped... Remus said, interrupted as the phone rang sharply behind him. With an awkward wave, he closed his eyes and answered the phone.  
  
A second later, the receiver clattered to the floor, emitting a soft dial tone.  
  
James muttered. I wish he wasn't so complicated.  
  
  
  
  
Remus landed with an unsteady crash, slamming against a wall as he fought to catch his balance and breath.  
  
...Really need to practice that. he told himself, hand outstretched, clutching for something to support his shifty weight. He found contact with a person, and finally got his footing.  
  
he started apologetically, but he was shove to the ground.  
  
Stay away! the girl shrieked, running unimaginably fast through a creaky door.  
  
Ah yes, that would be my general response with women. Remus told himself.  
  
A second later, Remus blinked, and silently cursed himself.   
  
That might've been the girl... Smelled like it. he said aloud, sniggering at how stupid the notion sounded.   
  
Sighing, he brushed himself off, and darted off after his mission.  
  
  
  
Hey, wait a second.  
  
Get away from me! the girl shouted back, desperately sprinting through the narrow maze of alleyways. Leave me along, please!  
  
Remus sprinted forward, almost out of energy to keep up. He reached out, but instead of grabbing her shoulder as intended, he lost his footing and forced her to the ground under his weight.  
  
GET OFF ME! she bellowed, furiously trying to shove him away. She succeeded in scratching a gash in Remus' face, allowing her a brief moment of release.  
  
Hold on, I'm trying to help. Remus explained through a grimace, managing to grab ahold of her filthy coat and pull her back down.  
  
_I'm like you._ he barked, hoping to ease her mind.  
  
He failed.  
  
In a frightened panic, she scurried back against the outer wall of some store, and stared wide-eyed.  
  
H-How... I h-heard...  
  
So it is you. he mumbled to himself, relieved to have found the elusive werewolf.  
  
Are you with Nick? she asked sharply, her voice quavering angrily.  
  
  
  
I swear to God, if you move any closer! she shrieked, reaching for a pocket.  
  
To show his good intentions, Remus put his hands up, and backed away, kneeling down on the ground.  
  
I think you have me mistaken for someone else.  
  
Why are you chasing me? she asked, producing a very intimidating blade.  
  
You're a werewolf, are you not?  
  
Something in her eyes flared, and she inched backwards again. If Nick sent you-  
  
I don't know who you're talking about. Remus interrupted calmly. He had to be calm. It was in the wolf's nature to meet hostility with the same, an instinct he had to fight back.  
  
My name is Remus Lupin, and I'm very sorry if I scared you. My friend has been tracking you for some time, we're trying to help you. he said quickly, making sure to keep his eyes from lingering to the knife. We have a sanctuary overseas, I want you to come there.  
  
How am I supposed to know you're not trying to kill me? she asked through gritted teeth. Her face, though hard to distinguish underneath dirt and scar, had turned a flush-pale. The most startled grey eyes Remus had ever seen stared back into his own, momentarily unnerving him.  
  
You'll just have to trust me. he finally said.  
  
Frowning, the girl sheathed her blade and stood up.  
  
If this is a trick, don't expect to live very long.  
  
Remus nodded, not thinking for a second she was making an empty threat.  
  
  
  
Um, this may sound funny, but are you a witch, by any chance?  
  
I'm not a Muggle. the girl said as if insulted. I may not have had proper training or own a wand, but I'm no Muggle.  
  
he said hastily. Everything he said, even simple attempts at conversation, were returned with sharp remarks and blank expressions, if she even chose to reply at all.  
  
Remus pulled out his wand, and muttered a spell that James had taught him the previous year. The phone booth he was inside flashed momentarily, and the phone rang once.  
  
Found her. he said simply.  
  
Alright, I can set up transportation tomorrow morning, in Liverpool-  
  
Caleb, I'm nowhere _near_ Liverpool! he interrupted.  
  
Well, get there. It's the only overseas port I can open without detection, so deal with it. That last oen I tried raised a huge hazard, and I'm not risking it again.  
  
Remus rolled his eyes, and didn't bother arguing any further.  
  
There's a broken water fountain in a park near an old pub, Hamricks. Touch it at nine o' clock sharp.  
  
The other line died out.  
  
We have a bit of a hike, I'm afraid. Remus informed.  
  
She said nothing, not even nodding to acknowledge his words.  
  
Do you need to get anything?  
  
Let's just go, quickly. she muttered, not letting her eyes meet his own.  
  
  
  
  
I didn't know places like this still existed. the girl said in awe, staring out at the still pond.   
  
If you know where to look-  
  
I wasn't talking to you. she snapped, though not breaking her gaze from the beautiful sight.  
  
We'll camp here, then. he grumbled.  
  
Six hours of walking, running and climbing with the girl has caused him nothing short of a massive headache. Thankfully, he set his satchel down and wiped a bit of dirt from off his brow.  
  
Stupid premenstrual prat. he cursed under his breath, quietly enough so her untuned canine abilities wouldn't pick his words out from the night sounds. Why she's like this, God knows.  
  
He watched her for sometime, finding nothing else to do but follow her as she paced around the small lake, staring at the reflection of the sky above. The moon was nearing full, something he had forgotten to take notice to lately.  
  
You know, it's probably slippery. You shouldn't walk to close to the edge.  
  
She ignored him, as he had expected. At least his conscience was now at rest.  
  
No sooner had he turned away to find his blanket did she let out a piercing shriek.  
  
Smiling, Remus went to help her from the depths of the water.  
  
I told you it would be slippery. It rained not too long ago. he said, crouching a safe distance from the muddy bank. You should get out, you'll catch cold.  
  
Splashing furiously, the girl's head fell underwater.  
  
Er,... Girl? Hey, can you sw- Bloody hell. Remus cursed, flicking off his overclothes before he dove in.  
  
Immediately, he was seized by the unusual iciness of the water, and the sheer depth of what looked to be a simple overrun pond.  
  
He surfaced once for a breath, and let instinct take over.  
  
  
Stupid girl, stupid. Bloody. Girl... he muttered angrily, struggling to get her ashore, never mind himself. After three futile attempts, he dug his hand into the mud, found a tree root, and used it to his advantage.  
  
Still fighting for a proper breath of air, he turned her over, and swallowed.  
  
  
  
Yes, Caleb would have his head. He didn't lose the girl to Ministry capture, or anything logical. No, he would have a fun time explaining that she had drowned in a pond.  
  
Fantastic.  
  
Not knowing what to do, as he didn't know any sort of lifesaving techniques that would be terribly handy at the moment, he tilted her over on her side.  
  
he muttered again, leaning over her. His own heart was racing and threatening to stop on its own.  
  
Her eyes opened, and instead of doing anything normal, she shoved him away as best she could.  
  
Get away! she sputtered, spitting a lungfull of water out painfully. What the hell were you trying to do?  
  
Bloody hell woman, what were _you_ doing? Can't you swim? Jesus Christ, I thought you were dead!  
  
She turned away, and called him something extremely rude with the addition of a complimenting gesture.  
  
Be quiet, I'm not helping her anymore.' he told his conscience, wishing it would shut up. In the end it won, taunting him enough until he tossed his cloak around her shoulders.  
  
Shut up and just take it. he interrupted before she could protest. It's already cold out here, and with you wet, it wont get better. Just take it.  
  
He walked away, and determined not to think about her, he started to unfold his Whiz-O-Fold travel bed that always remained in his satchel for such occasions.  
  
  
  
A while later, she sat silent in front of a small fire Remus had started, clutching his cloak around herself and fighting for warmth.  
  
Do you want-  
  
He made the mistake of tapping her shoulder, only resulting in her jumping away.  
  
Can you _please_ not reach for your knife every time I come near you? Remus groaned. I'm not out for your head, regardless of what you may think.  
  
she said, shivering so violently she couldn't complete her sentence.  
  
Remus rolled his eyes, and wandered back to the edge of the lake to find his shoes and shirt.  
  
What's she complaining about? I'm the one that has to put up with her. he mumbled, peeling off his soaked socks and donning his shoes once more. His shirt had gotten slightly wet in his scramble to get back on land, so he wrung it out best he could.  
  
Stupid girl, God knows _what_ her problem is. I'll be damned if I'm still in one piece by the time we get to Liverpool. he told himself, slipping his arms into the shirt.  
  
Back at the makeshift camp, he noticed she was shivering again, even under the protection of his blanket she had quickly taken.  
  
No, no no _no_. he grumbled, cursing himself for caring too much. Hanging his head sadly, he slipped out of the shirt he had intended to sleep in, and carried it back to camp as if it were a block of lead.  
  
  
  
She has my shirt, my cloak, my blanket, and my pants. This is wonderful! I'm going to die from pneumonia at this rate... Remus snapped to himself, rubbing his hands in front of the fire. That damn girl is not getting my shoes, no way in _hell_. he told his conscience.  
  
Without warning, the boxer-clad werewolf was suddenly deprived of vision.  
  
Warm and toasty? he asked sarcastically, wrapping himself in the returned blanket with an angry frown.  
  
The girl returned the sarcastic look, and joined him opposite the fire.  
  
Oh, sorry. Was my bed too uncomfortable for you? he questioned.  
  
It's too cold to sleep. she said with equal satire. After a long moment, she took in a deep breath.   
  
Caught off-guard, Remus didn't answer right away.  
  
Er, it's... He wanted to say nothing, but he also didn't want to lie. Instead, he changed the topic. What's your name? You never told me.  
  
Never asked. she snapped again, shaking her head afterwards. He could tell she was making a genuine effort to be somewhat civil to him.  
  
  
  
That's an odd name. he said offhand.  
  
What of it?  
  
I didn't mean it offensively. I've just never heard the name before. Remus explained, looking into the dancing flames. It was safer than making eye contact with the girl.  
  
Why are you helping me? Rhint asked suddenly, trying to tighten the massive cloak around herself.  
  
Because that's what I do. Waste my vacations and help people who are supremely ungrateful. he answered, wondering if she would even recognize the malice.  
  
I... I'm not a trusting person. she started, fidgeting. Too many bad things have happened to me, with people. I have a hard time trusting anyone to be nice.  
  
Alright, I can understand that much. he said with a simple shrug. Can we call a truce? I'm too freezing to be a jerk any longer.  
  
For the first time, she smiled slightly, and nodded.   
  
Neither said anything for the duration of their sitting. Remus was busy contemplating the whereabouts of his brother, is condition, and why he was dragged into so many horrible situations.  
  
For a brief moment, both were wondering what exactly God had against them.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Oh my God... That is the closest thing to romance ANYONE will ever get out of me. Christ, don't even ask how long it took me to do this. All you people complaining about the lack of females in Remus' life can just shut up and go to hell now, alright? Uhg. never make me do something like that again...  
  
Yes, Rhint is a new girl'. No I am not going to have this instant love shick that goe around, nor is SG going to become a romance. She is simply going to become another member of the Underground and another hassle for Remmie-kun.  
  
**A very disgruntled Iggie  
  
  
  
**  
All of you lot complaining that I don't give him any happy chapters can now die happy. Thank you. :: sticks out tongue mockingly ::  
  
  
  
  
I HAD BETTER GET A REVIEW FOR EACH CHAPTER! ::grin:: This is not an empty threat, so don't test me. I'll stop doing double updates alltogether, maybe. Treat them like they're seperate, as they ARE.  
  
REVIEW**


	69. Part LXIX Window Pain

A/n- Gah. Finishing the evil chapter and tying some loose ends here. Bear with me.  
  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXIX - Window Pain  
  
  
  
  
  
Remus awoke with a start, his eyes wide open.  
  
What happened last night?' he mentally asked himself. He was quite certain he wasn't drunk. But...  
  
Slowly, he removed himself from the bed, looking around. Woods. Ah yes, the girl.  
  
Girl.  
  
He looked back, and was frightened to find her contentedly sleeping where she shouldn't be: his bed.  
  
Trying to recall even the smallest detail from before, Remus only drew up a blank.   
  
Cold... He realised he wasn't wearing his shirt. Or his pants. Ah, there they were. On the girl again.  
  
Bloody hell. he said to himself, his eyes wider than before. What _happened_?  
  
He sat himself down on a fallen log by the dead fire, and racked his brain for information. Unfortunately, it was too early in the morning, and e was far too tired to remember that nothing had happened. Instead, he feared otherwise.  
  
This is bad... There's a girl wearing my pants and my shirt, in my bed, in the middle of nowhere... he muttered, his brain still unable to produce logical thoughts or memories that would settle the situation. I don't remember last night. Come on Moony, what happened?  
  
He looked around, rocking back in forth with nerve, and noticed with a startle that there was another set of clothes lying in a pile nearby.  
  
Remus let out a very unhappy yelp.  
  
At the most inopportune and worst time possible, Remus remembered something Sirius had told him.  
  
Aw, bloody hell. he grumbled in dismay, his head falling forward to his hands. This is not happening... I don't even remember her name!  
  
  
  
Some time later, Remus was shaken awake. He had fallen asleep staring at the pile of embers in remorse during the early morning hours.  
  
Sorry about last night, you know. the girl started, sitting down next to him.  
  
Still wearing his pants.  
  
Wasn't a dream...'  
  
I don't know why I do that sometimes. she continued, running her fingers through her hair in attempts to comb it out.  
  
Er... I... Remus stammered.  
  
Ah, shit. Are you sick? she asked, frowning. I should probably give you your shirt back, no? Now, where'd I toss mine....  
  
The girl, still wearing Remus' pants, wandered off in search of her clothes.  
  
Remus slipped off the log, and just decided to jut lay in the dirt. Maybe he would die there, if God would be kind enough to answer his current prayers.  
  
Remus, is something wrong? You're pale.  
  
This isn't happening. he moaned.  
  
  
  
  
So when were you bitten? Rhint asked, walking a distance away from him, hands always in her pockets. Remus had the feeling she was still clutching her knife, although she hadn't pulled it out on him since daybreak.  
  
I was about nine. What about you?  
  
Four years ago. Someone my brother knew had it, he got to me one night. she said bitterly. Here eyes were shut tight, as if she was in pain from just remembering the past.   
  
It's all right, I didn't mean to pry. Remus said. After a few steps, he caught sight of the edge of the forest.  
  
Want to get something to eat? There should be some restaurants around here, and we've an extra hour to waste.  
  
I don't have any money. Rhint said quietly.  
  
Neither do I.  
  
Both smiled to themselves, and walked off to find a diner to terrorize.  
  
  
  
Er, last night... Remus began, stopping before he reached the out-of-service telephone booth in Liverpool. Did I, um, do anything?  
  
Rhint blinked, and waited for him to elaborate.  
  
Like... Us, I...  
  
You don't remember last night? she asked with her slightly off accent, sporting a confused frown. Oh, well, you got sick I guess, you were sneezing all night. It woke me up a few times.  
  
But did...  
  
It was impossible for Remus to find the words, or the courage to speak them. At the moment, he would prefer to be facing Ministry gunfire or stray Unforgivables than what he was attempting there.  
  
Apparently, his burning red face spoke the unspoken for him.  
  
Oh, Mother of God, no! she burst out, torn between disgust and amusement.  
  
Part of Remus was yelling out in relief. The other, well, it wanted to die with all it's heart.  
  
I cannot believe that you thought- Oh, man, I needed that. I haven't laughed in years, not like that...  
  
Glad you're amused. Remus managed to choke out, his entire body seizing up in humiliation.  
  
Oh, come on chap, don't feel bad. Hell, I was wearing your clothes this morning. she said with the slightest grin she could manage. In a short while, she burst out laughing again, unable to hold back her amusement.  
  
An honest mistake...  
  
We should get going. the flamingly red Remus mumbled, trying to hide in the glare of the morning sun. Should ring soon...  
  
Before Rhint could snigger any longer, the supposedly broken telephone let out a sharp, annoying buzz. Desperately remus reached inside, and grabbing Rhint by the wrist, answered his ticket home.  
  
  
This place, it's amazing. Everyone here is...  
  
Every last one of them. Remus confirmed. He pointed way down the road, to where Caleb's house stood proudly on it's own lot. That's where I live.  
  
Where am I going to stay? she inquired, mouth still open in awe. For once, she was no longer holding her knife. She felt no threat.  
  
Not sure. Let's go find out, shall we?  
  
  
She can shack up at Mel's place for now. Caleb said with a shrug, eyeing the girl over carefully. Oh, yeah, Lupin...  
  
You've got to be kidding me. Remus picked up, his shoulders hanging down sadly. You let her move in?  
  
Aw come on kid, give me a break. Caleb defended, though not bothering to hide his smile. I needed help with the brats.  
  
No, you wanted a more convenient way to sha-  
  
-so you'll have to room elsewhere until we settle in. Caleb interrupted, cheeks tingeing red.  
  
Did I do something wrong? Rhint whispered, standing up on her toes to reach Remus' ear.  
  
You managed to escape my grasp for three years. Caleb said, wondering why she wasn't keen on her own capabilities. A while back I received word of you, but you always got away.  
  
I have a habit of running. she said, almost apologetically.  
  
No worry, whatever you run from can't get you here. Caleb said with a warm smile, something she wasn't used to nor had the experience to respond to.  
  
Well, I'll show you to your place. Remus said. If you want, I can get Melhane ot take you down to the shops to get some things, so I can have my shirt back. he joked, plucking at the massively oversized garment.  
  
Rhint smiled wide once more, and without explanation, kissed him once on the cheek before she ran outside.  
  
Caleb let out a snort, and winked at his friend.  
  
You aren't supposed to shag the rescues, you know. I think it's against policy.  
  
Remus, his face almost that to match a neon sign, sputtered something incomprehensible.  
  
Go on, your girlfriend is waiting.  
  
S-she isn't my-  
  
Just don't do anything while the twins are within range. Oh, locking doors helps too. I'd rather not walk in on anything.  
  
WE DIDN'T-  
  
Caleb smiled, fully understanding the situation but not letting on as such.   
  
She's pretty cute, you're lucky.  
  
He winked once, and promptly left a flustered Remus alone.  
  
What did I do to deserve this, huh? he asked God with a solemn face. Why me?  
  
  
  
Lupin, ah, good to see you back. the old man at the mail counter said with a grin. You're box 212... And 213. He chuckled, unloading the massive pile of letters that wouldn't fit into one compartment. Maybe you should get Simmers to empty your box from time to time, since you're gone so often.  
  
Remus nodded, and stuffed the mass of parchment into his robe pocket, tuning to go and smacking into Rhint.  
  
I don't know where anything is. she explained, having followed him since he had woken up from her living room floor an hour ago. She noticed the letters, and inquired upon their origin.  
  
Er, some are from my friends-  
  
You have friends on the outside?  
  
-and the rest are from the Hogwarts professors.  
  
Rhint swallowed once, and went silent.  
  
I'm on my last year... he said, feeling guilty for not having informed her. It ends next June, then I'll be here-  
  
How are you attending? she asked quietly, looking a mixture of jealous and hurt.  
  
Rhint? Oy, anyone here- Ah, you must be Rhint.  
  
Melhane has popped into the post house, looking far too cheerful and overly dressy.  
  
Caleb said you might need some things from town, and I was already on my way. Would you like to come along?  
  
I haven't any-  
  
You're welcome to use our funds. Melhane interrupted quickly. Some of the people here have donated portions of their accounts to the newcomers fund.  
  
I really wouldn't... I couldn't, not someone else's-  
  
Rhint, this isn't like the rest of the world. Remus said gently, breaking her off before she fell into her sullen state. Every one of us has been through the same situation at some point. It's help, not pity.  
  
Come on, let's go get you some proper clothes. Melhane said with a perky smile. You look far too shabby in Remus' shirt like that.  
  
Found yourself another sort of trouble, eh lad? the old man asked with the same smirk.  
  
  
  
You've been through the gates of hell and back, but you just found the heart of it all right there. he said with a nod tot he door.   
  
Ah... Yeah. Remus said with a smile, scratching his head idly. Suppose so.  
  
  
  
  
_Remus,  
  
It's been too long Remus, we're worried about your brother. Shelly says you know what happened. Please, please tell us where he is. You two are family, I can't stand having things this way. Tell us what is going on!  
  
_Remus crumpled up the letter, and tossed it into the roaring fireplace. For the past fifteen minutes he had been disposing of such letters. The Hollens has sent at least ten of the same nature, urgently requesting his reply or information.  
  
Shelly hadn't sent one herself, and there was never mention of an apology.  
  
Quite a load of mail for a loner. Garade mused from the open window, leaning on the shabby wooden panel.   
  
It's all from the same family. Remus muttered, filing through three more short scrolls labeled from the Hollens. I'd reply, but I don't know what to say.  
  
Oh? What's the problem?  
  
I think I killed my brother. Remus said, biting his lip to one side thoughtfully.  
  
You... Romolus? Jesus, you two- what the hell happened?  
  
The last major rescue. Remus explained, having long since swallowed his discomfort. My brother was there, and to make a long story, he was drunk and in mourning. I got in the way, and I wasn't going to just let him kill off the others. So...  
  
You _killed_ your _brother_? he gapped.  
  
Are you dense or is it really that hard to imagine? Remus snapped.  
  
Bloody fuck Lupin, he said, drawling out every word. I know you are one hell of a beast when you have your sights set on a goal, but... Never in my life would I have imagined this scenario.  
  
He might not be dead. Remus said with mild optimism. I only remember casting a spell, whether he's alive or not I don't know. My letter was returned, though it could have just been him.  
  
Why don't you go find him? Garade suggested, more than surprised he was being so calm about the situation. You're more than capable of tracking him.  
  
Rhint will kill someone. he said with a shrug. She trusts me somewhat, and still she nearly pulls a knife to me every time I move too quickly. Besides, there's too much to be done around here-  
  
  
  
Both looked away, and found Caleb at the door.  
  
If you ahd told me before, I would have made you go. he said with an odd force present in his voice. he looked out to Garade, and the boy immediately withdrew.  
  
I know you too damn well to let this go. Caleb snapped. This is going to eat at your sanity, so go find-  
  
Leave me alone. Remus muttered, rolling his eyes.  
  
If you don't go out, you're going to get crazy again.   
  
What gives you the right to think you know what's best for me? Remus asked.  
  
_YOU _don't even know what's best for you! I sure as hell know that waiting around and avoiding the truth isn't going to help any. Caleb answered, frowning.  
  
I'm not avoiding-  
  
Don't bullshit me, too late for that. Caleb interrupted, setting his cane at the door as he finally walked in. Like it or not, I know how you think even if you aren't aware of it yourself.  
  
Remus turned away, staring at the broken window pane by his desk.  
  
I don't want to know what happened. he admitted.  
  
Of course you don't. Caleb said, sitting down across his friend. There's a hell of a lot more to the story than you'll ever confess to me, but if you turned wand on your kin, there's no way you would want the truth.  
  
  
  
  
His head upturned, looking somewhat appreciative towards Caleb, Remus wondered when his friend had grown so wise.  
  
Forcing you to help yourself. Caleb answered the unspoken question with a dark gaze. I have no time to be a child any more when there's you and the entire populous to look after.  
  
I'm sorry, for being such a fool.  
  
Get it out now while you still can. Caleb said whimsically. Once you leave those castle doors for the last time, that's it. Lost forever...  
  
Remus nodded, staring at the glass before him. Inside, for a brief moment, he saw his brother staring back at him smiling as he used to in the past.  
  
Always there for me... Remus mumbled, lost in the few memories he cared to recall.  
  
You need to ask yourself what you want. Caleb suggested, standing up unsteadily. Until then, well, I'll be here in place of him. All of us will be.  
  
Thank you.  
  
  
_Romolus, what should I do if something happens to you?  
  
Nothing will happen. he replied matter-of-factly. I'll always be around as long as you need me.  
  
But what if- What if you get in an accident, or hurt yourself in Quidditch, or something explodes at Hogwarts or-  
  
He chuckled, and shook his head to the little boy tugging on his sleeve.   
  
I'll be fine Remus, honestly. Nothing is going to happen to me at Hogwarts, nor anywhere else for that matter. he explained, smiling all too optimistically. Remus grumbled, showing his dislike for such a look he didn't believe in.  
  
No Rom, _really_! What if something does happen? Cause I... I wont have anywhere to go, not with...  
  
You'll be fine Remus, and so will I.  
  
He waved goodbye, still smiling stupidly as he boarded the Hogwarts Express.  
  
  
Not once did he answer the question. It was asked time and time again, but never once did the worried child receive and answer.  
  
  
_I guess that was one thing you never could tell me. Remus told the reflection staring at him, one looking particularly like Romolus. Maybe... No, you were right. There isn't an answer. That was something I needed to figure on my own, brother.  
  
He sighed solemnly, and turned away from the misty image that nodded, still smiling stupidly, eternally.  
  
  
  
**A/n- Alright, happy about the double post? I'd better get TWO reviews, everyone! :-D  
  
**Iggie


	70. Part LXX Gibbous

A/n- Bloody hell I've been writing a lot recently. but that's a good thing, no? (I suppose your grades are all suffering... I'm so time consuming. Heh.)  
  
NOTICE- For those of you who didn't quite catch it last time ::coughTerracough:: Window Pain was a pun. Pane, Pain. Yes. Figure it out, please. :-D  
  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXX - Gibbous  
  
  
  
  
  
OI! MOONY!  
  
Remus' eyes snapped open, and he looked around in utter panic.  
  
he swore aloud, scrambling to get to his feet. Behind him, on the couch, Rhint was snoring ungracefully.  
  
WHY did Mel have to take her bed? he groaned, trying to shove his pillow and blankets under the couch. Rhint! Wake up, there's a prob-  
  
Moony, you in here? James shouted from the door. That Caleb fellow said... he trailed off, having turned the corner and gaining view of the living room.  
  
He sputtered something, and instantly fell to the floor in a fitful rage of laughing.  
  
Sirius, I think I hear James, he sounds catatonic again... Oh my God Remus, is that... He too trailed off, and had to fight to keep himself on his feet.  
  
Sirius showed no restraint, and laughed hardest of the three.  
  
An errand my ass! he stammered, face red in delight. Nice errand!  
  
Remus turned around, and found the troublesome girl clutching her blanket protectively.  
  
Guys, get out! Remus shouted over the fitful chuckles ringing in the room. He had the nauseous feeling that Rhint was going to run for her companion blade if they lingered much longer.  
  
Why didn't you tell us... About... James tried to say, only to seize up in a amusement again.  
  
Sirius said in bliss, holding his sides as if they would burst upon release.  
  
Unable to do anything but flush crimson and stammer like a drunk for a prolonged moment, Remus eventually took action. Without so much as a word of explanation, he turned and fled from the torn-apart house.  
  
So, have you two-  
  
Rhint glared, still hugging the blanket around herself.  
  
Swallowing his laugh, Sirius went dead somber, and nodded. At the moment, he was too terrified to do anything but stand motionless.  
  
Those eyes...  
  
  
  
Remus? God damn, you can run fast! James exclaimed, completely devoid of breath as he finally caught up to his friend. It was only a few minutes ago, how did you get so far?  
  
Remus didn't respond, as he was too busy concentrating on not killing James and trying, unsuccessfully, to convince his face to stop burning scarlet.  
  
Remus? Aw, come on, me and Sirius were just teasing. You're so romantically challenged, we couldn't resist!  
  
She is in _no_ way my girlfriend. he grumbled, wishing to close the subject.  
  
Um... Then, er, how would you classify... he said with a grin, recalling finding the girl sleeping on a couch, Remus on the floor below.  
  
She is a very strange girl that likes to pull knives out on strangers. Remus began.  
  
Yes, we learned that one. Sirius is still hiding at Caleb's place. I think he tried to-  
  
and I'm merely helping her get used to not being paranoid. Remus snapped, trying to conclude the conversation. His attempts at a subtle way of saying he wished to be left alone went unnoticed, and James walked up in front of him.  
  
You're flamingly red, Moony. James observed with a smile. So, you like her?  
  
Oh, for the love of God! Remus groaned, wishing he could die right there.  
  
James, can you honestly even conjure a picture of me being gushy with some girl? At all? In any sense whatsoever?  
  
He thought long and hard, eyes furrowed behind his glasses. he decided, frowning crookedly. You worry too much about everything to let someone else get into your life.   
  
Thank you for not being a stupid prat. Remus declared, thankful and quite honoured, that James knew him so well.  
  
She isn't too bad-looking, by what I saw. I'd-  
  
Remus reminded. James grinned guiltily, and shrugged.  
  
I was only saying that you and her would-  
  
-never in a lifetime figure out a way to work around my mental paranoia.  
  
Both agreed upon this, and left the subject alone. Rather, James left it alone for fear that Remus would lose his temper, or fear that the girl would unsheathe her pocketknife if he made any catty remarks.  
  
Ah, that reminds me. he said with another grin. We should probably go find Sirius... He doesn't run as fast as me, and I just barely escaped that crazy girl.  
  
  
  
Leaving so soon?  
  
She's going to kill me if I don't! Sirius said nervously, constantly peering around the street, expecting Rhint to pounce him at any moment. All I did was comment on her... Took it like a death threat. Anyway, I'm getting out of here.  
  
He quickly mounted his broom, waiting for James and Peter to follow suit. Neither moved from their place on the porch of Caleb's house.  
  
Rhint, leave them be, they mean no harm. Remus said, knowing very well she was standing behind Peter, hand pressed against his neck.  
  
They're going to be your downfall. she mumbled distantly, half in a daze. I think... No, they're going to-  
  
Rhint, I know. Remus interrupted, having seen the same precognitive Vision many times before. Let them go, please.  
  
She released the back of Peter's hair, and frowned rudely as they mounted up and glided out of the Underground in a hurry.  
  
You really need to be less hostile. Remus said with a sigh. I know it may not seem like it, but they're wonderful people. Er, most of the time anyway. Sirius _is_ perverted, but he means well.  
  
Why do you keep company with those who you know will only bring you pain later on?  
  
Visions have lied to me before, I like to think I just dream sometimes. Every action changes the outcome.  
  
Have your Visions changed?  
  
No, but I trust that they will. Remus said simply.  
  
You are _too_ trusting. she grumbled, sitting down on the stairs in a mournful way.  
  
Remus didn't ask why she was so sullen all the time.  
  
  
  
  
Remus, wake up. Rhint said quietly, trying to shake him awake.  
  
Mumbling at the daemons in his dreams, Remus rolled away from her, dragging his stiff blanket into a clump. His back was left exposed, showing the spider web of of scars littering the flesh.  
  
Rhint muttered, fascinated by the endless tributaries of thin, silvery lines. Without thinking, she idly traced her finger along one, instantly waking Remus from the floor.  
  
  
  
she said quickly, bowing her head down. There's an owl outside, I believe it wants to see you.  
  
We deliver post with owls. Remus explained after taking a moment to wake himself up. It had been a very long night, writhing under the stress of a nearly full moon. Sleep had managed to evade him like a frightened animal.  
  
she said to herself, walking off to prepare a meal that didn't resemble breakfast in the slightest.  
  
Grabbing a shirt hanging from the bathroom doorknob, Remus pulled it over his head, still carrying himself in the direction of the back window. Without realising his shirt was on backwards, he cracked open the window and let in a very disgruntled eagle owl.  
  
Settle down you stupid creature. he snapped in irritation, grabbing the letter.  
  
Bug off you damn bird! Remus said in a fluster, managing to force the owl back out the window before it attacked him any further.  
  
Nursing his bitten finger, Remus pried open the unaddressed parchment.  
  
  
Remus? Are you alright, I heard a crash. R-  
  
Rhint stopped in her tracks, wondering wy Remus was frozen in place, a broken cup knocked down next to him.  
  
He... He...  
  
  
  
He collapsed to his knees, eyes fixated upon the paper blotted with watery ink.  
  
  
  
  
You need to reply. Caleb said sternly, forcefully enough to make Remus hear the words he so wished not to. At least acknowledge him.  
  
  
  
For your own sake, just send him something back. Caleb said, grabbing a blank sheet of parchment and a pencil from the newly installed desk. To get his point across, he shoved them right in front of his broken friend.  
  
he ordered.  
  
As if under a controlling spell, Remus lifted the pencil, and scratched what resembled his brother's name at the top of the paper.  
  
_I don't want to see you right now. I'm not ready. Please don't write again, I'll find you later.  
  
_Thank you. Caleb said with a supportive smile, grabbing the letter before Remus could change his mind. Carefully, he sealed it and tucked it into his pocket.  
  
I'll go send this out on one of the priority owls, alright?  
  
He left, not waiting for a reply he knew wouldn't come.  
  
Once again lost in himself, Remus let his head fall to his hands, heavy from so many thoughts.  
  
  
  
Though she was unaware of her abilities, she knew what was wrong. It was an unconscious Vision, or just a familiar link between two of the same emotion.  
  
It'll be alright. she said quietly, kneeling down behind him. Instinctively, she reached forward and held her arms around his chest, hands tightly laced together. It'll be alright...  
  
  
From the window, Caleb watched with a mixture of an amused and solemn smile.  
  
'Bout time he found someone.  
  
  
  
  
That's awful. Rhint murmured, feeling horrible just having to hear his story.  
  
There's worse out there. I'm lucky, you know, to have friends and to be at Hogwarts...  
  
That doesn't matter. she said, shaking her head. It's still unbelievable that... I mean, I used to feel sorry for myself for having been kicked out of my own home, and-  
  
Your parents are alive? Remus asked, slightly surprised.  
  
she confessed, turning her head away as if in shame. My brother and I were kicked out a few years ago-  
  
He was...  
  
My brother was bitten first. Rhint explained, pulling her knees to her chest and hugging them for comfort. And he attacked me on his first transformation. In a single week, my parents lost both their children to the curse. My father is a wizard, so he knows all about how horrible we are, to them anyway.  
  
Them'. It was a single grouping for everyone unaffected, a term shared by everyone of the plight. Although they were the minority by large, it was not so in the Underground.  
  
We lived in New York at the time, my mother was there on business for her clothing company. she went on. My brother, he was five years older than me, and he wasn't really a good student at school. He eventually found himself company with a gang.  
  
Remus nodded, encouraging her to go on. He himself had problems being open with others, so he dared not stop another.  
  
They found out what he had become, what I had become...  
  
She stopped, unable to continue. Forgetting where she was, Rhint clutched her neck as if in pain, hiding her face in her new secondhand cloak.  
  
Please, what did they do?  
  
Nodding, swallowing the urge to cry at memory, she pulled down the neck of her shirt. A tangle of scars, bruises, painful marks of another's doing lined her skin. More standing than the rest, there was a circle of white tracing back around her neck.  
  
They killed my brother, after he had bitten another boy in the gang and caused him to die from bleeding. I didn't have anywhere to go after that.  
  
You shouldn't have stayed! Remus blurted out, disgusted with the cruelty he understood all too well   
  
You don't understand. she said, choking on her own words. They weren't some petty little group of bullies. I would have been dead in an instant, and I had nowhere else to go even if I tried to run... Once, I did try to run once. Right after they killed Andy, I bolted away. When the found me, I... They-  
  
Remus, where's that girl, Rhint? There's a man at the gates claiming he needs to speak with her, I'm not sure whether to let him in. He's one of us, but something about him... Melhane called from outside, knocking lightly on the door.  
  
Rhint tensed up, and grabbed Remus' arm desperately.  
  
Don't... Please don't-  
  
Mel, get him out of here! Remus shouted. That man is out for us, kill him if you have to. Just get him away from this city!  
  
Sobbing in her own fright, Rhint clung to his arm fiercely, afraid to lose its comfort.  
  
Don't let him...  
  
Stop worrying. Remus said with a very bitter voice. I'll take care of it.  
  
  
  
  
What do you want with her? Remus growled, eyes narrowed, giving him an appearance very unbefitting his docile nature.  
  
The man was rather short in comparison, though his demeanor was that of a battle-roughened soldier, giving him an equal look of malice. He stared back, face unmoving, showing no emotion other than hate and the desire to eliminate.  
  
Who are you to protect the little bitch?  
  
Care to come in and get her? Remus asked, knowing he could not pass the silver gates. The man tapped at the gate, and drew his hand back quickly.  
  
You have yourself a pound in here, I understand. You're just a bunch of caged in mutts. he snapped, letting the skin on his finger scorch unattended.  
  
And you, my _friend_, are nothing short of the lowest excuse of a human being I've yet to meet.  
  
With only the silver gate as a barrier between the two, Remus stood right in front of the man, looking down on him with eyes ablaze.  
  
I'll suggest it once, and once only; you will leave this place right now, or I shall have to handle this matter myself. he said calmly.  
  
The man sported a cocky grin, pleased at this notion. _Sir_, I believe I will accept this. he said sarcastically, cracking his knuckles. ...More than happy to take that bitch with me once you're out of the way.  
  
Stop it, Nick.  
  
Remus turned around, finding Rhint standing unsurely a few feet back.  
  
Leave my f-friends out of this.  
  
So, you have friends now? You filthy beasts stick together, then.  
  
Confused, Remus turned around, facing the girl that was struggling not to shake.  
  
He doesn't know?  
  
Rhint shook her head, pursing her whitened lips.  
  
I bit him l-last time I transformed, in N-New York last month... she stammered, quickly losing her bout of courage.  
  
With a smile, Remus nodded his head and faced the man again.  
  
Rhint, would you please go inform Caleb that we have an unwelcome person that will need escorted back to town, after I'm done?  
  
She stayed her ground, pleading silently for him to go and get help instead.  
  
I'll be fine, Rhint. Just go and tell Caleb that there's no need to involve anyone else.  
  
Please... Be careful.  
  
Oh, don't worry you little beast, he'll be nice and dead by the time you can run back.  
  
Trying not to hear the words, Rhint turned on heel and ran as fast as her legs would allow to the main city.  
  
  
  
  
Remus, are you- Oh my God! Rhint squeaked out, her face drained of its remaining colour.  
  
I'm fine, don't worry.  
  
Sporting a bloody crack in his face in addition to many bruises, Remus still managed to smirk in pride.  
  
Don't worry about that prat ever again Rhint, don't even give that scum your second thoughts.  
  
Smiling tearfully, thankful to be alive and to have anyone in the world at all, she clung desperately to him. So forcefully she wrapped her arms around him, fearing he would dissolve away, vanish from the cruel life she knew.  
  
Please don't leave. she whispered, crying for reasons she couldn't comprehend.   
  
Remus nodded, lying himself into another conflict. It was the only thing to do at the time, all he felt he could do to comfort her.  
  
I can't tell her, that I'm leaving soon.' he mused, staring at the small crowd gathering in the narrow rock passage. Hell, I can't even admit it to myself yet.'  
  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Yup, me again. Sorry for delays, life has sucked major ass lately. haven't been this depressed in a long time. Gack. Romance... Yes, it is making me unhappy. I'll have to end it soon, you know. I simply cannot stand to write anymore love stuff. Sorry, supporters of it. More traditional angst will come soon.**  
  
Iggie  
  
  
  
  
  
**URGENT REQUEST:  
  
My friend Steve, to whom this story is aptly dedicated even though he knows not of it, needs a favour. He is this insane movie guy (obsessive, yes, but a genius!) and has entered a Script Pitch contest. To sum it up for all you guys, it's an idea for a potential movie contest. My request, as I really hope some of you will get this in time, is to go to  
  
  
  
  
  
  
and vote for his story. It is titled Mirror's Reflection. Ya don't have to read it or anything (though by all means, do) just PLEEEEEASE submit him a vote. Go to the bottom of the page, select Mirror, and just hit vote. it only takes a second!  
  
Thanks so much you guys, I really hope some of you are nice enough to do this for me and him. As a note, votes must be in by Tuesday the 22nd.   
  
THANK YOU for listening to this cheap solicitation.**


	71. Part LXXI InASense

A/n- Yup, there is more. There is ALWAYS more.  
  
Rating- PG-13 for some depressive stuff, as per the norm with this damn fic.  
  
Disclaimer- Alright, if you don't know, then what in bloody hell are you doing even reading fanfiction? HONESTLY!  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXXI - In-A-Sense  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Rolling his eyes and cursing his inability to sneak away, Remus stopped.  
  
he sighed.   
  
Trying to run off before anyone Caleb asked, the telltale click of cane indicating he was coming after the boy.  
  
Er... No.  
  
You've gone weak, my friend. Lying is supposed to be a commonplace skill among most of us. he said with a catty smile, meeting Remus at the door.   
  
Personal favour, please? Remus groaned, wanting to walk away without inhibition.  
  
Stop running away. Caleb said, dropping his humour and donning an unusually earnest expression. You've run away from everything, too many times for me to tolerate.  
  
It's just what I do. Remus said, frowning slightly.  
  
Well stop! he interrupted. Break a habit, for the love of God... You're not going to find life to ease up, so you might as well stop running from your problems. Conflicts are only resolved with confrontation.  
  
It's easier to run, Caleb. Remus said, eyes locked onto the floor. There's too much going on right now, I don't have the nerve to do anything but run.  
  
No matter how fast you run, you'll never be swift enough to break away. Caleb informed him, briefly looking to the side.  
  
I can't find the heart to stand up to anything...  
  
Well find it soon. he said very shortly, hobbling off unsteadily just before Rhint slummed her way down the stairs.  
  
Remus, I can't find my other shoe, do you... she asked, pausing at the rail's end. Her startling grey eyes narrowed in confusion, her face mirroring the thought. Are you going somewhere?  
  
Remus took in a long breath, and decided to end one of the lies he lived.  
  
I have to go to Hogwarts, the train leaves in three days and it's a long trip without Apparating.  
  
Her face fell, and the rare smile she had upon seeing him diminished.  
  
  
  
You knew I was going, I told you before. he offered in his own defense. I have to go, this is my last year. I can't drop out after working so long just to graduate.  
  
But, that Caleb fellow, he said that you're supposed to run the Underground! Rhint squeaked, her face scrunched up. Remus turned away, ashamed of the betrayed look.  
  
Because he can't heal properly without proper medical treatment, and that you need to take his place... You're supposed to stay here.  
  
His face set sadly, Remus shook his head. I'm going where I belong-  
  
You don't belong out there! she interrupted angrily. None of us belong outside, everyone... Everyone...  
  
Not everyone hates us, Rhint. Remus answered, his voice shallow. There are people at Hogwarts that I care about, that treat me like I'm perfectly normal. Most of the time, hell, I can just be a normal student! he exclaimed, biting his lip in thought. I'm the Quidditch Captain for my House, and I do well in all my classes. All I want... All I want to do is graduate, like everyone else.  
  
Why? You want to graduate, just so you can realise you can never get a job like everyone else, because of the curse? Never fit in anywhere, always be looked down upon? she muttered.  
  
I dreamed for years about what it would be like to go to Hogwarts. Never would I have once believed that I'd actually go... It was my only answered prayer Rhint, I have to finish this off. I owe it to myself.  
  
Resentfully, she turned away, her face scrunched up in emotion. My one prayer was answered, and now it's abandoning me again. she snapped.  
  
I'm not going to stay. he said firmly, trying to convince himself of it. I have to go, Rhint, I need to make it to the Port station... There are some things I need to take care of as well.  
  
Then leave. she snapped again, not turning to bid him farewell as he left the house.  
  
Goodbye, Rhint.  
  
She answered with silence and a hateful glare, a look seldom shared between those of the Curse.  
  
  
  
  
Remus muttered, staring at the scrappy door before him. The three of the flat number hung loosely on a broken screw, swinging when Remus finally found the courage to knock.  
  
Go way... Pay next week. came a very slurred response from inside.  
  
Disappointed, Remus closed his eyes. Rom, it's me.  
  
Almost immediately, the door flew open.  
  
Oh God Remus, I'm so sorry. he sobbed pathetically, clinging to his younger brother, fearing the illusion would vanish. He let out a startled mutter, realizing the real Remus was before his reddened eyes.  
  
I didn't... I swear I didn't... he grumbled, face buried in Remus' shoulder.  
  
Remus knew he was drunk; he had smelled the liquor before the door had even open. Now, it was more apparent than ever. his eyes were bloodshot, and he seemed very unsteady on his feet.  
  
You've been drinking, Rom. he pointed out absently.  
  
His brother, once the strongest and greatest man Remus knew, simply nodded.  
  
Remus, I'm so sorry. he repeated.  
  
Go home to your wife. She's worried.  
  
Romolus sobbed again at this remark, still hanging onto Remus' shirt, his eyes always diverted in shame.  
  
I can't Remus, I can't go back... I let her down, I let him...  
  
Her parents already contacted the Ministry's Missing Persons.  
  
You have to forgive me Remus! he said very suddenly, gripping onto Remus' sleeve desperately. Please, Moony, you have to, I didn't... I didn't...  
  
Remus met his eyes, watered red stones pleading into his own grey.  
  
I can't do that. he said simply, neither frowning nor displaying any emotion at all. You would have killed me, Romolus, and my kind. I cannot forgive that.  
  
Remus, no!  
  
Grief and drunkenness are no excuses for what you did. he went on, his heart aching at the words he spoke. I'm sorry, brother, but I cannot forgive you.  
  
I can't forgive myself.' he thought.  
  
Romolus, sobbing again like a frightened child, let his hands slip from Remus' arm. His grasp once so fevered and compelling, died away.  
  
Remus... I swear Remus, I didn't...  
  
I have to go. came the monotonous reply. Goodbye, Romolus.  
  
You have to! he interrupted, his voce cracking. Remus, _please_!  
  
I can't forgive you just yet. Remus repeated, turning away from his only family.   
  
Goodbye, Romolus.  
  
He left him kneeling at the broken door, left him to waste away inside his filthy little flat with the broken door number.  
  
Most of all, he left his brother, his savior and saint, alone.  
  
I'm sorry, Romolus, but I just can't. he said through gritted teeth, not looking back once.  
  
  
  
  
  
What do you think's wrong with him? Sirius asked quietly, leaning in towards his two friends.  
  
Peter said. He's been like that since we boarded.  
  
Do you think someone died? People die fairly often around him, you know.  
  
No, this is more of the inner-turmoil look. James concluded, scratching his head thoughtfully. I'm guessing something with the Underground.  
  
What about that girl? Sirius suggested.   
  
He's too intelligent to get petty over a girl. Peter interrupted.  
  
She was good-looking, though. Sirius recalled, smiling dimly.  
  
  
Remus looked over, perfectly capable of hearing their conversation. How soon they forgot that he could hear things beyond human range.  
  
Beyond human.  
  
With a solemn sigh, he returned to looking out the window, contemplating why God would allow such beasts to exist.  
  
  
  
  
Mr. Lupin, I'd like a word with you in my office, if you wouldn't mind.  
  
Sirius and James smirked, Peter joining in a moment later. The three of them were jealous, yes, but glad that at least one of them had the joy of being in closed quarters with the beautiful professor.  
  
Potter, Black... Stare like that again and you'll be serving Filch in detention. she snapped, turning briefly to face the lot. Not wanting to waste any more time, she grabbed Remus by the forearm and marched him off.  
  
  
What'd you want? he asked, his voice dull, gaze inattentive.  
  
You look about ready to murder yourself. she said simply, sitting on top of her desk as she normally would during class.  
  
Remus looked at her, startling her with his vacant eyes.  
  
Christ boy, what happened _now_? Surly it couldn't have gotten worse than before.  
  
With all due respect, Ms. Horder, you couldn't possibly understand.  
  
Oh, try me, please. I've had one hell of a summer, so try your best to beat it. she laughed sarcastically.  
  
I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Remus responded very simply. For some reason, I've just realised that I don't know why I'm here.  
  
In school, or alive in general?  
  
  
  
Join the ranks, my friend. she said with a long sigh unbefitting her age completely. The War is going to blossom soon, and this school is going to become a hellhole. I know you feel like dung most of the time, but kid, you need to liven up a little.  
  
  
  
Ms. Horder interrupted, peering at him. Yeah, it is difficult to be happy all the time, but you owe it to everyone else to try. People look up to you Lupin. You're on of the smartest and most clever students I've met, and you have quite a knack for fighting. she added with a respecting smile. As soon as the strikes start hitting the home front, I'm placing you in lead of the student body.  
  
Why me? Remus asked, his eyes affixed on the floor again.  
  
You're a leader.  
  
No I'm not...  
  
In your city, the Underground or whatnot, everyone there respected you. Can't you see that, Lupin? Even the elders spoke of you with the greatest of praise. They count on you to support them, and to protect them. Your friends look up to you for support, and to make their petty little pranks a success. Whether or not you see it yourself, you're a leader.  
  
He didn't respond, simply choosing to ponder what was being said.  
  
Well, you'd better get back to the Welcoming Feast. she said after a long silence. I'll call you down later on about your duties.  
  
before he reached the door, Ms. Horder stopped him again.  
  
You were elected as the Head Boy, Lupin. I figured you wouldn't want the hassle, so I told Dumbledore to pick someone else. I thought you would like to know.  
  
Thank you. he said, shutting the door behind him.  
  
That boy... I don't know how the hell he manages.  
  
  
  
  
Remus, are you alright? You've been acting strange today. Peter asked quietly, tapping Remus on the side to make sure he was paying attention.  
  
I'm fine Peter.  
  
Sirius picked up on the whispered conversation, and interjected with his imperfect canine.  
  
_C'mon Moony, what happened? We'll find out soon enough, you know.  
  
I'm fine._ Remus insisted, shifting in his seat uncomfortably. His gaze was locked upon the Slytherins, Snape in particular. Something was amiss.  
  
_Just spit it out.  
  
Later. Now be quiet, someone might notice us._  
  
Sirius muttered something nonsensical, and went back to watching the end of the Sorting Ceremony.  
  
He noticed, with a saddened heart, that the Slytherin House had grown quite a bit in comparison to the rest.  
  
The War's about to come... he mumbled.  
  
_You've WHAT?  
  
Look, don't try to back me out of this. Padfoot and Lil and I all went down and enlisted together, Peter even signed up for work with the Ministry. We need Aurors if we're going to win the fight Moony, you should know how badly we need them.  
  
But... You just got married, and-  
  
Are you going to join?  
  
You know I can't. Not with the Curse, they'll think me with the Dark. I couldn't anyway. But you guys-  
  
We'll be alright Moony, stop worrying! Nothing is ever going to break the Marauders apart, you know that.  
  
  
_Darkly, Remus waited for Dumbledore to gain the attention of the anxious crowd.  
  
Welcome newcomers, returning faces. I am pleased to see that everyone is in good health. he began, clearing his throat once or twice. He was uneasy, his brilliant blue eyes fighting to hide the tiresome worry they so felt.  
  
Before you all begin the Feast, I would like to say a few words. he went on, his bright green wizard hat falling over his eyes momentarily. As some of you may have noticed in the newspaper or otherwise, Here he paused, and Remus felt his gaze fall upon him. there is the beginnings of a war brewing outside these castle walls. I am not saying this to cause fright, simply to inform you that we may find ourselves in a troubled time soon enough. You, all of you dear students, are the future of our world. The decisions you are about to make will alter the very course of history, whether they be wise or not.  
  
The Great Hall, having expected one of the crazy old man's nonsensical greetings, was caught off-guard at his solemn statements. Every table stared, their attention in full.  
  
Hogwarts will always be open to challenge your minds. and to protect you from whatever dangers may arise. You, on the other hand, are responsible for your own fate. I ask that you chose it wisely. And with a bemusing smile and a wink, he walked away from the stage, the Sorting Hat under arm.  
  
Was he serious? a second year girl whispered, one of the first to break the awful silence hanging in the Hall.  
  
Don't doubt him. James said quickly, offended by her to some level. If we doubt Dumbledore... Then the world really is on path for war.  
  
  
  
Remus sighed, walking quietly through the dark halls. For several hours he had been absently pacing the winding paths of the school, not particularly caring where his feet led him on the cold night.  
  
Fire lights hung on the wall, casting flickering shadows all around. For a moment, he thought his eyes were just playing tricks on him, until he caught the scent of another roaming person.  
  
Albus, can we honestly let this go on?  
  
If Hogwarts is unsafe, then there is no good left in the world. I have to remain here, and the school must remain here, despite what the Ministry claims. Those who have acknowledged the conflict are going to e like this for quite some time, if all is correct. Do not let it startle you, Celia.  
  
Remus caught a sarcastic laugh, and he followed the echo closely.  
  
They've given me the one-over before. Hell, they've done it to the whole world.  
  
Ah, our young friend Remus, I take?  
  
His feet moved a little quicker, finally bringing him to rest behind a concealing tapestry near the open door.  
  
Do you know what he's been doing, Albus?  
  
I'm afraid I haven't the slightest clue, my dear. I try to leave the child alone for the most part, his affairs are his own.  
  
Yes, well... You know I was enlisted to a new Squad over the holiday?  
  
Of course.  
  
Well, I was assigned to take care of the little werewolf problem the Worldwide Ministry has been having.  
  
Ah, yes... Quite a troubling matter for the officials in charge, I've heard.  
  
Quite a troubling matter for me. Ms. Horder scoffed.  
  
Remus dared himself a look into the conversation, and found her angrily crossing her arms in the doorway of some office. From what he could see of her shadowed face, her eyes were thoroughly enraged by the memory.  
  
The things they subject those poor souls to! Are you even aware of how they treat-  
  
Celia, don't be rash. Dumbledore said gently, folding his hands together behind his desk. Since the curse was made known all those years ago, my dear, both our kind and the Muggles have feared werewolves.  
  
Bastards.'  
  
For what reason? she spat, snarling slightly. I'm guilty of fearing them myself, I was even uneasy about Lupin at first. But hell, sir, I had no idea that they were executed and tortured so...  
  
So, Mr. Lupin is involved in this ordeal? Dumbledore questioned, his voice showing more than a hint of curiosity.  
  
Suddenly, as he hadn't noticed at all, Remus felt his heart racing frantically. All the times he had feared being expelled if discovered by the students, or from Sirius' misadventures... Not from criminal charges such as this.  
  
No, please! _Please_ don't...' he heard himself say mentally. Sweaty, clammy hands clung to the tapestry, and he couldn't keep himself from peering into the room again.  
  
I just ran into him, that's all. Ms. Horder said with perfect level. But what I did find... It's disgusting, what all the escaped have to put up with. Even Lupin, sir. He may be blessed by God himself to have found haven here, but...  
  
Dumbledore nodded, his smile fading for a pensive moment. Almost as if he knew Remus was there, he looked straight out the door to where he would have seen the boy.  
  
But he had run, as he had so many times before.  
  
Mr. Lupin may be blessed, Celia, but you and I both know there is much more to him than he would like us to think.  
  
What troubled grounds we roam...  
  
Chuckling, the old man smiled. Quite a poetic woman, when not subjecting young witches and wizards to Auror training.  
  
It is not Auror training. she interrupted, loosing her thoughtful look in an instant.  
  
You're preparing them for the war, are you not?  
  
Ms. Horder said, turning back to look through the door as well. She figured correctly that her conversation had been overheard, by whom she couldn't guess.   
  
I'm teaching them that life will never be fair, no matter what they try to make out of it. Their innocence is being torn away, I merely want them to win it back.  
  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Yay for Iggie, for she is BACK! After sustaining multiple mental and physical injuries (down with team sports!) I managed to throw this thing together. Yea, return of Ms. Horder, school, and Marauder-esque mayhem (well, soon anyway).  
  
Thank for reading, enjoy all further updates too.  
  
**Iggie  
  
  
  
**Fic of the Day--- Cheers - by Earth: **A good ol' short fling-fic about angst and Harry being dead and such. I really don't do this fic justice with such a lame summary, so all I can say is go read. It's quick and wicked :)  
  
  
  
  
**WAI! This chapter is dedicated to mis amigos Zloca and PMSingChipmunk. SMILE, GOD DAMMIT! BE HAPPY AND REJOICE! I COMMAND IT UNTO THEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
  
#$%!**


	72. Part LXXII Caution

A/n- Yeah, back for more, eh?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXXII - Caution  
  
  
  
  
  
You'll find that the reaction between the Merkweed and the secreted salamander... Yes, Mr. Lupin? Professor Forson asked very dryly, the foul taste back in his mouth after a summer break.  
  
If you don't distill the salamander extract inside of the-  
  
I am the Potions Master of this school, am I not? Forson growled.  
  
Yessir. But, the extract will-  
  
Are you making implications that I am incompetent in my own art? he asked, stepping closer to Remus' desk.  
  
Merely suggesting an alternate way of brewing a very explosive potion. Remus replied, his voice level.  
  
Professor Forson took no note of his warning, and continued on with the lesson.  
  
Smiling and shaking his head slightly. Remus grabbed the back of James' and Sirius' robes, pulling them more towards the door. Less than a second's passing later, the centre of the room had erupted into a chaotic whirl as students tried to avoid the slop erupting from Forson's cauldron.  
  
I did warn him... Remus said offhand, watching in amusement as the hem of Snape's robes caught fire.  
  
From the corner of the room, pressed against the grim-covered walls of the dungeon, Professor Forson glared with malicious intent.  
  
One more year. he mumbled to himself.  
  
  
  
_Romolus, wait! I want to say goodbye! Rom, take me BACK! Remus wailed, fighting weakly against his brother's grasp.  
  
came the cold answer, in addition to a stronger hold.  
  
The little boy, struggling as much as he could, couldn't break away from his brother.  
  
Why wont you let me say g'bye to mum and father?  
  
Romolus stopped at those words, and set his younger sibling down on the ground.  
  
Remus... Did you have a bad dream recently?  
  
The nine year old nodded, looking over his shoulder at the little house in the distance. To him, it didn't seem so lovely at the moment, though he couldn't remember why.  
  
Something happened to... Father?  
  
Uh huh. But it was a dream... I wanna say g'bye Rom, cause if we're going somewhere they'll be worried-  
  
he interrupted quickly, his face growing more dim. what you saw wasn't a dream, alright? Father's dead, and mum doesn't want us to come back anymore.  
  
W-what? Father... NO! He can't be, Rom, don't lie to me! Father isn't-  
  
He tried to kill you Remus, and you...  
  
NOO! I didn't do ANYTHING! STOP IT! the boy shrieked, wishing his nightmare would vanish.  
  
I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!  
  
  
_Startled, eyes dilated to their fullest extent, Remus sprang forward in bed, nearly knocking his head against the upper rail.  
  
he muttered, rubbing at his head. His hand came back soaked in cold sweat.  
  
Y'alright Moony? Sirius asked, half in a daze.  
  
  
  
Mm. Don't worry about... It. he said, yawning halfway through as he sat up.  
  
Some of the first years have been screaming all night.  
  
The war's getting to everyone. Remus said to himself.  
  
Only the one's who've lost someone know it's happening. Sirius said bitterly. The malice was still obvious when he spoke of the war, his need for revenge all too clear.  
  
Hey, do you want to go Dungbomb the Slytherins? Remus suggested, wanting to distract Sirius from his sister's death as well as himself from plaguing memories.  
  
  
  
Fumbling to gain their composure, the pair quietly slipped into the common room. To their surprise, they found at least four Gryffindors unable to find peace of mind, all sitting in silence around a dying fire.  
  
What's happened to Hogwarts, Moony? We can't even be happy anymore.  
  
War's happened... I have a feeling this is just the beginning. he replied with a grim shake of his head.  
  
  
  
Now, the difference between the Polish Underwood Goblin Rebellion of 1562 and the Polish Underwood Goblin Rebellion of 1673 was-  
  
Exactly eleven years? Sirius suggested to himself, eliciting a small round of chuckles from the surrounding Hufflepuffs. Despite the lack of attention, as per the norm, Professor Binns went on without inhibition.  
  
I swear, he talks about these menial little ruff's as if they're important! Peter exclaimed, having sized a fairly long knowledge of war throughout his years of reading. If _only_ he'd move on to the Nomlock Seiges, or even the damn Salem Witch Trails. American wizard history is better than this rubbish.  
  
James smiled, Sirius rolled his eyes, and Remus simply let out a sigh. Double History with the monotonous old gohst was not exactly his idea of an enlightening two hours.  
  
Eventually, Remus fell victim to the lullaby drone of the ghastly professor, his head resting evenly on his folded arms.  
  
  
_Dumbledore, this is nonsense!  
  
Malachi, calm down-  
  
Keep your fat little nose out of this! the man snapped, glaring angrily at a smaller cleric-looking fellow to his left. Facing the congregation once more, his face returned to its previous look of fury.  
  
To let the school remain open, despite the constant threat, would be shear madness. he explained, something in his voice speaking the unspoken intent.  
  
My dear councilmen, Dumbledore said calmly, his hands neatly folded atop the circular table. There will be a threat to the lives of these children regardless of this school's state. Hogwarts, in reality, is the safest stronghold that the magical community posesses at this time. To release the children would only greater their chance of harm.  
  
So you'll carry on, and risk losing an entire generation of Britain's magical population to save a few?  
  
came the even reply, accompanied with a short smile. I will not intentionally place my students in the path of Dark Magic.  
  
The blonde-haired man, his smooth, pale face brimming with hatred, opened his mouth to speak.  
  
  
  
Minerva, what is it?  
  
There's been- Oh God sir, there's been an attack! she stammered, compsure forgotten.  
  
Stone-faced, no longer smiling, no twinkling left in his eyes, Dumbledore stood up.  
  
  
  
The Quidditch picth! I _told_ those boys not to play after hours, but-  
  
Who was it? the pale man barked, briefly looking back at Dumbledore with an accusing stare. If my nephew was even harmed-  
  
It was the Gryffindor boys, Potter and Black.  
  
Anyone else?  
  
The whole team was out, I'm not sure who... Was caught under the fire.  
  
Already movign towarsd the door, Dumbledore hurried the woman for details.  
  
When did you find out?  
  
The young Lupin boy, I found him not five minutes ago, he's in shock-  
  
Gather up the staff, and arrange for all the students to meet in the Great Hall. Seal off every possible entrance to this building.  
  
What about Lupin?  
  
What of him?  
  
He may have seen the attack, sir. Minerva explained, unconsciously wringing the side of her robes in nerve. And he keeps mentioning the Snape boy, when we can get him to speak at all.  
  
  
_Remus' eyes snapped open as he jumped to his feet.  
  
Where is everyone? he demanded, his heart racing. The Hufflepuffs were gone, and the Marauders were nowhere to be found.  
  
They left, class has bene over for some time.  
  
  
  
Your friend, the little one, Percy or whatnot, suggested that you catch some sleep. I agreed to keep watch. the gohst muttered depressedly, unhappy with having to play babysitter.  
  
Do you know where they went? he asked urgently, nearly umping on the balls of his feet in anticipation.  
  
The tall one... Samuel, or...  
  
  
  
Ah, yes. That may very well be his name, come to think-  
  
I need to know where they went! Remus interrupted impatiently.  
  
Professor Binns declared, as if a student had never said anything rude to him before. Something about that ruddy sport, with the little flying balls and such...  
  
Remus was out the door before he even had time to try and remember the name.  
  
  
  
  
Watch where you run, beast.   
  
What'd you do to them? Remus bellowed, hsi face flushed with anger, voice raspy from his anxiety.  
  
Confused, the Slytherin took a step backwards.  
  
Have you gone made at last, Lupin?  
  
I swear to God, if you even touched them I'll rip you're slimy little head off! Remus snapped as he ran by, desperatly stumbling to reach the school grounds in time.  
  
Stupid creature. Snape muttered, brushing himself off. He's going to regret pissing me off so often.  
  
  
  
James! Sirius! Peter, are-  
  
He stopped, completely out of breath, as he reached the stands. Fighting for his last bit of endurance, he jumped over the barrier rail, and nearly cried out in delight.  
  
You're all okay! he said triumphantly, waving his arms in hysteria.  
  
More the baffled, the three Marauders parted from the mixed-House scrimmage and hovered nearby.  
  
I see you woke up. Sirius started, smiling despite his confusion. We thought you could use a little kip, so we didn't wake you to come along. Hope you don't mi-  
  
I had a precog, a Vision. Remus interrupted. There was a meeting in an office with most of the staff and some Ministry-looking blokes and they were all arguing and then McGonnagal rushed in all flustered and she started-  
  
Whoa, Moony, calm down! James laughed, not understanding a word he had said.  
  
Taking a much needed breath, Remus nodded, and started again.  
  
I had a Vision, while I was asleep.  
  
Yeah, they're called dreams. Everyone has them. Peter said dryly.  
  
No, this was a precog! Remus snapped. There was a Dark attack, and you guys were all out here playing, and...  
  
Confused yet again, the trio turned to see what Remus was staring at.  
  
What's that, a hippogriff?  
  
There aren't wild hippogriffs arouns here. Sirius muttered, rolling his eyes at the shorter boy. For a brief moment, Remus wanted to grab hold of his friends and run, until he realised the flying figure wasn't a Dark mage.  
  
Hello there boys. he said without any true emotion behind his words, wiping his sweaty brow as he dismounted. James, in awe, pointed to the broom.  
  
Ah, yes, the new Cleansweep model. the man said with a smug smile.  
  
Why're you here? Peter asked without thinking. James nudged him in the side for being rude.  
  
I have a bit of business with your Headmaster regarding current events... Can any of you point me in the right direction? I seem to have landed on the Quidditch Pitch, not the front gates. he said.  
  
Remus, nervously swallowing, pointed northwards.  
  
That was the pale-faced man... He's going to try and get Dumbledore to close the school down. Remus whispered, his eyes following the dark figure.  
  
Eh, don't worry about it. Sirius said with a shrug. Come on, let's just play soem Quidditch.  
  
'Want to be Kepper, now that you're out? Peter really is a joke, you know. James said with a playful shove of his friend.  
  
Absently, Remus stared at the figure slowly climbing its way out of his view.  
  
No, I need to go find Dumbledore...  
  
Shrugging to themselves, the other three Marauders mounted up and went back to the waiting teams.  
  
  
  
You have to let me in! Remus protested, trying to wedge past the bothersome caretaker.  
  
Unless you fancy dangling from my dungeon walls by cuff, I would highy reccomend you leave. Filch hissed, his pestersome cat circling between his leg like an expectant shark.  
  
Look, there's going to be a Dark attack out on the grounds, and noody will lsiten to me-  
  
Possibly because of what you are. Filch said, his crooked, cracked lips twisting into a wretched smile. But, why should we doubt you, For, you are a Dark creature yourself, tune to their calling.  
  
Unfazed by what he had grown immune to, Remus stood rigid.  
  
I need to speak with Professor Dumbledore immediatly. he repeated, his face locked. And so, _sir_, I suggest you let me through.  
  
Still smiling his God-awful smirk, Filch chuckled to himself. Your dear old Headmaster is in a meeting, I'm afraid. It seems the Ministry is unsatisfied with his handling of the current state of affrairs-  
  
The angry caretaker never had time to finish his lecture.  
  
Don't worry, my pet, we have many years to get back at those bothersome children. he said to his cat, beaming a very frightening affection towards the wiley young creature.  
  
  
  
Dumbledore, this is an outrage!  
  
We simply cannot allow this to carry on any longer, my friend. I hate to bring myself to it, but we need to set this to rest before anyone gets hurt. We'll be under tedius fire if we don't halt this school's-  
  
Are you simply concearned about the Ministry taking blame? Dumbledore interrupted gently.   
  
Outside the office door, Remus waited, praying he would have a chance to enter before his Vision became a reality. How he wanted the Marauders to leave the pitch! Surly, though, they would think him mad.  
  
Come on... Hurry up. Remus muttered, nervously glancing through the fog-glass window of the door. Scattered blobs of dark mass surrounded the table, Dumbledore's lopsided purple hat at the far end.  
  
Dammit... I need to get to Dumbledore! he snapped, cursing his frequent conflicts. Looking up at the clock, he saw that an hour had gone by.  
  
This is taking too long, if something happens, they're...  
  
Not saying anything else, Remus slipped through the unmapped passage and back into the Hogwarts halls.  
  
  
  
Hey Moony, decide to join us yet? Sirius called, waving merriy at the mounted Gryffindor. Pete quit on us, we could really use you in go-  
  
The Slytherin Common Room ignited. he lied, forcing a look of sheear enjoyment to his face. Come on, you all _have_ to see this!  
  
Eagerly, James and Sirius beckoned the fifteen players to follow as they raced off to the castle.  
  
  
Behind, only a short flight of a minute or so, a small band of men clad in ghastly masks marched through the Forbidden Forest.  
  
  
  
  
  
What is it Minerva? he asked curiosuly, wondering why she had burst into the office during his meeting.   
  
There's- Outside, by the pitch-  
  
Calm down, please, start again.  
  
One of the Slytherin boys just brought Remus Lupin up to the Infimrary, he's been knocked out.  
  
What happened? Dumbledore laughed. Did Mr. Black blow something up in his presence-  
  
There's been an attack, by the Dark supporters. Apparently he had gone outside looking for someone and... He...  
  
The gathering fell silent, and one by one, each of the Ministry men turned to face the old Headmaster.  
  
It was only a matter of time. he said darkly, pushing himself to his feet.  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Fear not, for more shall come soon. Rejoice.  
  
**Iggie


	73. Part LXXIII Noir

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXXIII - Noir  
  
  
  
  
  
_Where are we supposed to go?   
  
The man, blue eyes sparkling sadly, frequently turned to look behind him as he walked.  
  
I'm not sure. a smaller girl replied, shaking her head thoughtfully. I don't think there is anywhere we _can_ go.  
  
Without even speaking a word, they both agreed to take a break from their long walk.  
  
I guess all we can do is wait for him.  
  
In his nerve, the man nodded, rolling his fingers along the edge of the public bench.  
  
I had the dream again.  
  
  
  
I'm serious! he interrupted, looking somewhat offended by the roll of eyes he had received. We can make it work. I swear, if we keep this up a little longer-  
  
If we keep it up any longer we're going to die. the girl said, her face set in a cold stare. Running off one poor man at a time isn't going to change anything in the long run.  
  
If we keep-  
  
Caleb, please. If anything is to change in our world, there would have to be a miracle.  
  
Then dammit Elise, I'll find one.  
  
  
  
_Slowly, Remus opened his eyes to the faint sound of nearby tapping.  
  
he mumbled, his lips feeling numb.  
  
Startled, he tried to sit upright, but found it impossibly painful to attempt.  
  
he cringed out, letting his head fall back the short inch it had risen. He realised, from the white all around, that he was in his room in the Infirmary. Why he was there, he couldn't gather. The full moon was still yet to come.  
  
he slurred, catching a glimpse of him from the corner of his itchy eyes.  
  
Resting uncomfortably against the back of a night stand, James was sleeping, his glasses crooked on his frowning face. Sirius had taken residence on the floor nearby, a puddle of drool below his head. Remus thought that he could see Peter and Lily slummed onto the bed next to his, their feet getting in the other's face every few moments.  
  
he asked the ceiling, unable to move his head in any direction properly.   
  
Giving an inward sigh, Remus gave up on yelling, and waited impatiently for the nurse to come and check on him.  
  
  
  
He _looks_ fine, but with that lot of people... One can never be sure if he isn't suffering from a complication I just can't see alone. I need to get the boy to Mungo's-  
  
Poppy, you know that isn't possible. Dumbledore said quietly. All the while he had been talking, he had forced himself to smile, knowing Remus could at least see the pair from his bed.  
  
Then let me bring in someone who wont report him. the nurse said, quickly looking over at her patient. I'm not going to compensate his well-being because of a silly condition the rest of the world doesn't find acceptable. it is my responsibility to keep these students in perfect health, I will not settle for anything less.  
  
Nodding, knowing he wouldn't win the argument, Dumbledore agreed. We'll need his legal guardian's consent to this.  
  
'E's nah... Remus tried to say, but lacking the volume, he gave up.  
  
Feeling any better?  
  
Sirius smiled, looking out from across the bed. He sat on the ground, his arms folded atop the foot of Remus' bed, still leaning as he tried to wake himself.  
  
Remus made a feeble attempt of a shrug, but it was enough for his friend to read.  
  
We should have listened to you, Moony. he said darkly, his eyes cloudy with regret. You wouldn't have gone back if we had all listened to you.  
  
  
  
No, it isn't. Sirius interrupted. We know your precogs are almost always right, James and I should have gotten everyone into the castle.  
  
Be'er me'n th' o'ers. Remus tried to voice, fighting to overcome the lack of response from his body.  
  
Pausing, Sirius pondered the consequences of his own actions, and hung his head.  
  
Dammit Moony, do you always have to play the hero?  
  
When I know what's to happen if I don't...'  
  
he said, a little more clear than before.   
  
Else everyone will be hurt if I back away.'  
  
  
  
Mr. Lupin! You are not to leave this-  
  
I'm fine. Remus said, gritting his teeth. Every time he moved, placing pressure on his legs, a pain like fire swept over him. It would normally be enough to send him to the ground in distress, but he was far too determined to free himself of the white prison. I'm going back to class, I don't want to get behind in my work.  
  
Sit down on the bed _now_, or I'll-  
  
You said I wouldn't be able to move for a week. Remus said, trying to ignore the headache clouding his thoughts. And I'm fine enough right now You were wrong about that, so...  
  
So outraged with a patient defying her, Madam Pomfrey only stood with her mouth ajar.  
  
I'll come back if I'm not feeling well. Remus said, gathering his robes and managing to slip them on.  
  
Without saying anything more, he closed the door behind him, immediately grasping the wall for support once out of sight.  
  
Bloody hell, how do I always manage to nearly kill myself? he snapped.  
  
  
  
Remus! Here, let me-  
  
No, I'm al-  
  
  
  
Stubborn as ever, Lily smiled as she ducked under his arm, forcing him to lean on her slightly.  
  
There. See, I don't bite. she laughed, welcoming him back to Hogwarts. You always manage to avoid me, Remus.  
  
James is very jealous over you, I don't want to give him the wrong idea.  
  
God, she looks older...' he thought, looking her over. Everything about her seemed to age drastically over the summer, and for the better. He had to remind himself, very sternly, that this was his best friend's girlfriend.  
  
Yes, well, James is a prat. she said, biting her lip. I swear, he's never going to let boys be around me unless we're married. He's so protective.  
  
Remus, unable to help himself, merely smiled. That had been one of the few precogs he had ever felt at ease with. A vision not to be shared, though.  
  
What time is it, Lily? I've been up there for a few days, I lost track of time.  
  
she said, lost in thought for a moment. It's quarter after two, so you have Defense I think.  
  
Memorized James' schedule? Whatever for?  
  
They both chuckled at the truth.  
  
So, why aren't you in class? he realised.  
  
I was just waiting for you. Figured you wouldn't let that old nurse hold you up there for too long, no matter how ridiculously serious the circumstance.  
  
Frowning, Remus tried to find a memory of the night.  
  
What happened, exactly? he asked, simply unable to remember.  
  
Scott Andrews and some of the Gryffindor first years were still out there, and you went back to get them. This is only what I overheard from James or Professor McGonnagal, so it isn't the whole story. she explained, stopping to let Remus lean against the wall. But from what I've gathered, there was already a group of... And well, you...  
  
Took a hit for the team. Remus said, trying to smile. I'm alright Lily, you know.  
  
She gazed back at him, emerald eyes withholding many questions. Someday, one of these days my friend, you wont be. It worries me, Remus.  
  
I'm surprised I've made it this far. he said, wishing he didn't believe his own words.  
  
  
  
Sorry I'm-  
  
Playing the damn hero isn't an excuse for missing class. Ms. Horder snapped with set authority as he slipped into the room.  
  
The Slytherins glared at him as if he were their new prey, all eyes watching as Remus quietly fumbled to get himself together.  
  
Slightly stunned, the Marauders gapped as he forced himself in line at the back of the room.  
  
What the hell are you doing? Sirius asked, his eyes wide.  
  
After a moment of listening, Remus declared he was about to perform some simple blocking techniques for armed battle.  
  
You were just cursed by Goddamn Dark mages! Why are you in class? James nearly shouted, attracting attention from across the room.  
  
He braced himself for the verbal lashing, Sirius awaiting the demand to become the new dummy, as Ms. Horder did not tolerate her class being disrupted. Surprisingly, though, she didn't break out into a connipptive fit as she normally would with the Marauders in similar situations.  
  
I wasn't going to ask it myself, Lupin, but please do tell me how in fact a child warded off five Death Eaters.  
  
Death Eaters? a dull Gryffindor girl asked.  
  
Followers of the Dark, it is the name they've fancied themselves. Lupin, she said, motioning for him to begin. I'd really love to know.  
  
Biting his lip, Remus stepped off the wall a pace or so, unsure of where to begin.  
  
I thought...  
  
They'd laugh if he told the truth, that he had precognostic Visions. Surely they'd think him as insane as the Divination professor.  
  
  
  
He probably had inside information. Snape said, smirking at his own cleverness.  
  
The class, even the Slytherins, looked shocked at the suggestion that the potential Head Boy would be involved with Dark magic.  
  
How else could he have known about the Dark mages? one girl whispered.  
  
Probably got cold feet on the attack, went to tell them off.  
  
Or he didn't want his pals to get hurt. another Slytherin suggested. I'll bet he really was in on the this, probably was going to march up with those bastards and hit the school if he hadn't-  
  
That's enough! Ms. Horder roared, slamming her hand down on the desk. Her voice cracked through the air, silencing the many rumors now circulating.  
  
If I hear one more word about Mr. Lupin or Dark wizards-  
  
You yourself asked how he survived. Snape dared, the only one in class history brave, or foolish enough to interrupt her fitful yells. Isn't it ironic that he's alive? Dark wizards would show no restrain to killing a random student, as their intent would be to attack. If it were one of their own, however, they would hold back. Punish for second thoughts, perhaps. I see no other possible solution.  
  
Moony would never do that! Sirius bellowed, lunging forward.  
  
Remus grabbed out, his arms forcing Sirius to the ground before he could hit the slimy Slytherin.  
  
Go to hell. Sirius growled, struggling to break free from Remus' grasp. Go to hell you little-  
  
CLASS DISMISSED! Ms. Horder yelled out, moments later threatening the whole of the congregation physical harm if they wouldn't disband.  
  
If I even hear a single word against Mr. Lupin, I promise you, you'll regret it! she screeched as they shuffled out.  
  
Not a chance! she said hurriedly, magicking both Snape and Sirius into the air before they could tear at each other.  
  
As his professor lectured the pair about self control and assumptions, Remus waited quietly. He knew there was a private conversation in store for him.  
  
  
  
It's werewolf precog. he said, empty eyes locked on the floor. I saw them, dead. I...  
  
You're still hurt. she pointed out, watching as Remus tried to massage his aching arm. Logically, you shouldn't even be alive-  
  
The Killing Curse has no effect on our kind. he whispered. My... When I was a child, someone from a village I was in tried to dispose of the town werewolf, me. It only knocks us out.  
  
Stunned, Ms. Horder lost her composure. But... No one-  
  
It is our best-kept secret.  
  
...Does he know?  
  
He's speculated since I arrived in my third year. Now, he knows for sure.  
  
He's a bastard for mocking you such. the woman exclaimed. What the hell is wrong with this generation? Starting Dark rebellions for no reason... You know they're already recruiting students.  
  
I've seen them.  
  
He looked up for the briefest of moments, and she captured his gaze. Unable to look away, Remus only shuddered.  
  
So, Snape's involved? Clever bastard, then...  
  
We've fallen into a dark time. Remus said to himself, shaking from the effort of even being awake. I don't think... We'll last, much longer...  
  
Ms. Horder reached across her desk right before his head collided.  
  
she said softly, moving to help the unconscious boy. What the hell am I supposed to do when the enemy is my student body?  
  
  
  
C'mon Moony, let's just go while we have the chance. Sirius whined.  
  
Frustrated with the incessant begging, Remus slammed his book shut.  
  
I'm a week behind everyone from having to stay in the hospital wing, and this year's work load is unbelievable.  
  
No kidding. Peter grumbled from behind.  
  
I have a lot to do right now, so I can't play Quidditch tonight.  
  
But Moony, this is the only night in _weeks_ that there hasn't been someone out on watch-  
  
For good reason. James said quietly, finally seeing the logic. We all could have died out there. Maybe, for once, Quidditch should wait.  
  
Mouth wavering, Sirius stared. The thought was too sacrilegious for him to fully comprehend.  
  
Pete, go take him to the kitchens or something. James suggested with a roll of his eyes, shoving the pair towards the portrait.  
  
...Boy has his priorities all messed around. he said to himself.  
  
Can't blame him for trying to distract himself.  
  
Happiness is one thing Moony, reality is another.  
  
In unison, the pair sighed, and stared off into oblivion.  
  
What are we supposed to do about this war? James finally asked, taking a seat across from Remus.  
  
There isn't anything we can do, besides help the underclassmen.  
  
There has to be _something_.  
  
Like what, run off an join the Aurors? Remus snapped, knowing for certain his friend wanted to do just as much. You'll do no good fighting out there right now, so just wait.  
  
James nodded, understanding, yet wishing logic to be otherwise. I just, I don't know, I want to get involved. Help all the people... The attacks are getting worse every day. Just this morning, another Ministry-  
  
he interrupted sharply, looking up from his homework. I know you want to run off and offer yourself to the Light side, but now isn't the time. We're still children, we have no place fighting a war we don't understand.  
  
You understand it. James said, lowering his clouded eyes, removing his glasses to think. You're already fighting in a war Moony, and you wont let us in.  
  
Mine isn't a battle for you to fight. he replied shortly, his fists involuntarily clenching tight. My war has _nothing_ to do with-  
  
It has everything to do with us, Moony. James said, his voice soft and commanding at once. Any battle you fight, we'll fight. Every time you take up arms against an enemy, he becomes our enemy. We are _always_ going to be involved in your war, whether or not you let us.  
  
Silent, Remus stared at the blotch of writing that was supposed to be his History of Magic homework. Instead of writing an essay on the Mordock Rebellion Reconstruction, his hands had taken over. There, in his own handwriting, was a collection of his unconscious thoughts.  
  
_War, essentially, only brings complication. There is no reason for mankind to blindly destroy itself for a greater cause', as there is no excuse for senseless murder. Justifying hatred into something noble will only lead to the destruction of our own self.  
  
_If we don't fight, we'll never be able to protect ourselves. James said, diverting his eyes from the paper.  
  
Protect ourselves from what?  
  
The Dark-  
  
No, you're wrong. Remus said sadly. We fight because it's in our nature... Mankind can't live without the desire to destroy itself.  
  
  
  
I'm the dangerous beast, and even I can see that much. he mumbled, his voice dying off.  
  
Either way, James went on, looking far too tired. Were going to have to fight this war Moony, that's... That's why I want you to promise me something.  
  
  
  
Biting his lip and forcing himself to look up, James frowned. Don't ever let anything come between us, the Marauders. I'm afraid something is going to happen that'll break us apart, and-  
  
I haven't Seen anything. Remus lied quietly.  
  
Just... Just promise me you wont let anything happen.  
  
Remus nodded, not even understanding the request enough to truly agree.   
  
Why do you turn to me?' he asked, his lips not forming the words. I may very well be the one that will ruin us. Trust is far too dangerous, Prongs. Don't hand it out to people like me.'  
  
  
  
Remus sighed, forcing his gaze away from the shower of owls that drowned the Great Hall each morning like this. All around, there was the familiar sound of stifled sobs, girlish cries and stunned gasps.  
  
They should just expect it by now. Remus muttered to himself, watching another black-sealed Ministry letter announce the death of a Gryffindor boy's family.   
  
Another orphan for the mass, he mused.  
  
I thought he didn't have any parents? someone whispered, thinking they were out of earshot.  
  
It took him a few moments to recognize the aged owl before him.  
  
Hello, old beast. he said quietly, taking the letter with an exchange of biscuit.  
  
Aren't you going to read it? It's not a Black Write, you know. James said, noticing the lack of official seal.  
  
Hm, I suppose.  
  
  
_Remus,  
  
We're going to need you here over break, there's a huge movement going on outside those castle walls that confine you. With the war sweeping in, all the werewolves of Britain are afraid of being tracked by the Dark. We're overloaded and under-managed here, my friend.  
  
Cheers, and keep that pack of yours close.  
  
Caleb  
  
_We're your Sirius asked quizzically, not sure if he liked the sound of it or not.  
  
Prat, don't read his mail. James scolded, though he too peered over Remus' shoulder. One of the many letters that fell out from the folds of the other had very feminine writing on the front, attracting his attention.  
  
Not a chance. Remus said, smiling coyly as he tucked that particular note into his breast pocket. And don't bother going through my trunk tonight, I'm not so foolish as to leave it there.  
  
Sirius whispered.  
  
Halfway through an increasingly more legible letter from the twins, Dumbledore stood up in front of the students and calmly declared that everyone should report for their dormitories immediately.  
  
Calmly, come on now! Professor McGonnagal yelled, unable to stop the younger students from running around in panic of the attack threat.  
  
Rubbing his throbbing temples, Remus stood up, and climbed atop his chair. In one short expenditure of his lungs, the shrill whistle silenced the entire congregation.  
  
Care to try it again, with a little less screaming? he suggested, shutting his eyes for a moment.  
  
Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs to the West entrance, Ravenclaws and Slytherins to the South. Daniel Howarth, Miranda Cemshaw, Anna D'Lamore and Travis Loom, lead your Houses out. Anyone else, line up near me. he said steadily.  
  
One by one, the students began to file along to the four appointed prefects, a small mass of bewildered and confused first years finding their way to the comforting presence of Remus.  
  
He'd have made a fine Head Boy. Ms. Horder said to herself, shaking her head in amusement.  
  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Yes, this is my random installment. Hope you've enjoyed! And a post script, everyone, good news. School and organized sports are nearly over, so hopefully I'll be back to weekly updates soon enough.   
  
**Iggie  
  
  
(Inevitably, someone is going to ask what Knahi-oph ((beginning)) means. Say it out loud. Then think of of why Remus was annoyed, and link it together.)


	74. Part LXXIV Blind

A/n- More Angsty and problematic goodness for you.  
  
Disclaimer- Haven't had one in a good while, so for pI-I34r of lawyers, I own nothing!  
  
  
**Note-** Sending my personal thanks to all you readers out there. Thanks a lot you guys, really. :)  
  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXXIV - Blind  
  
  
  
  
  
What a bunch of rubbish... I wanted to play Quidditch tonight. Can't have a ruddy team if we can't get some experience before the season...   
  
Remus sighed, and tuned Sirius' ramblings out from his thoughts. As quietly as he could, as to not disturb the few students crammed around him that were trying to sleep, he unfolded his letter.  
  
_Remus,  
  
I really hope you can come back soon, it's dreadful around here. I know you told me to trust everyone, but well, I can't. We may all be the same in one sense, but some of these guys are still perverted asses. And don't you dare bring that friend of yours, Black or whatnot, back here.  
  
Besides that, I just wanted to tell you that things are getting pretty tight around here. Caleb's been sick, and from what Melhane's told me, he still hasn't recovered from whatever last injury. We could all use you back here, Remus.  
  
I think, well, I need you too.  
  
Rhint McCalister  
  
_Hey Remus, your cheeks are red. Katie Tutino, a Hufflepuff seventh year said with a very slight smile.   
  
Little distressed, you know. he muttered hastily, stuffing the note into his pocket again.  
  
she laughed, although the sound was empty. You're the last person I would expect to be stressed out by this.  
  
Why... Because you think I'm involved? he snapped.  
  
No, not at all. You just, oh, I don't know. You rise to the occasion. Katie finally said, twisting her sleeve in meditation. Everyone else is busy wallowing in fear or self-pity, but not you. You stay awake and direct everyone, and stay calm. It's comforting to the rest of us, you know.  
  
I'm only doing what I know how to. he mumbled, looking briefly at the floor.   
  
Katie sighed, and shrugged to herself. Well, for the sake of us all, keep doing it. There aren't enough of people like you here, not nearly enough.  
  
  
  
Full moon's tomorrow. Peter whispered, sitting cross-legged in front of his friend.  
  
I know, but thanks for reminding me. Remus said quietly, his eyes shut tight. It was one of those few nights that although it wasn't the full moon, his body was feeling the moon's influence to great affect. It was becoming a challenge for him to keep his thoughts coherent.  
  
How are you going to-  
  
Dumbledore said he would manage it. he interrupted shortly.  
  
Peter was wringing his hands together in nerve, Remus noted. So many people had been doing that as of late, he was beginning to think it was a contagious habit.  
  
Aren't you afraid about the war, Remus?  
  
he replied evenly, his eyes still closed in thought. I've been in my own war for some time Peter, this is nothing that I can't face.  
  
I wish I were like you, unafraid. Peter admitted, looking much younger, more vulnerable. I'm scared to death of all this.  
  
It's alright to be worried. Remus mumbled. I'm worried about what's happening, but there's a difference. Fear is backing away, worry is simply another form of caution. Never let yourself fear something like war, it's impossible to win if you're afraid of the outcome.  
  
Peter nodded, his face displaying an unmistakable guilt.  
  
It's never too late to stand up, Peter. You now that, right?  
  
Very quickly, Peter stood up, and muttered about finding a Professor to let him use the restroom.  
  
Poor kid. Remus said to himself.   
  
For many hours he stayed awake, forcing sleep to not overtake his mind as he watched over the students. First years, confused and huddled together. Second years, more aware, more afraid. Third years, pretending it wasn't real. Fourth years, trying to look brave. Fifth and sixth, comforting one another.  
  
Seventh.  
  
It was his last year, he finally realised. His classmates, many awake now, silently sitting together for support, so soon they would be in the war.  
  
Can't sleep?  
  
Remus shook his head, not looking up to greet his Defense Professor.  
  
You should try, at least. We're going to be here until the Ministry is done arguing with Dumbledore.  
  
So they're not shutting the school down, I take.  
  
He'd never let it happen while he's alive. Ms. Horder said.  
  
Might not be long, when the war gets worse.  
  
Ms. Horder nodded, not surprised that he knew the truth of the situation.  
  
How long do you expect?  
  
Six years. Neither side will be able to last too much longer than that.  
  
I give it four. she estimated, conjuring herself a chair and straddling it idly. Once the Defense Department starts the unofficial draft, our forces will be overwhelming.  
  
The Dark is going to recruit as well. Remus pointed out, closing his eyes once again. It was painful to stay awake, though he endured. I think you underestimate them.  
  
No, I think I just want to deny reality. Ms. Horder admitted, finally catching Remus' gaze.  
  
She looks far too tired, he thought. Almost... Frightened, even.  
  
None of us want to face the truth. he said after a long pause. It hurts everyone too much.  
  
Everyone but you.  
  
He turned away, not replying. There was nothing to be said.  
  
  
  
This academy is to carry on as normal. Dumbledore said, smiling down at his students.  
  
Remus shook his head, knowing it was feigned, another lie to encourage humanity.  
  
We cannot let the troubles outside these walls disrupt our teaching.  
  
He's just trying to make us feel safer. Nothing's changed out there.' he mused, tracing his form along his empty gold plate. His stomach lurched, awaiting its first full meal in a while.  
  
Moony, food's up. James said some time later, poking his friend in the side. He had fallen asleep again, sitting upright.  
  
Oh. Thanks.  
  
You shouldn't let the war get to you. James suggested between bites of his toast. I can tell that it is, you have that empty look again. That, and you aren't eating. I know something's wrong when you stop eating.  
  
Distantly, Remus cut his eggs into tiny triangles and squares, watching as the windows opened for the morning mail.  
  
More Black Writes. he observed dully, waiting for James' owl to deliver the Daily Prophet. As expected, the front headline screamed of another attack.  
  
James cursed, unfolding his paper. Another Muggle-born raid.  
  
They aren't going to stop. Remus said dully. You might as well get used to them now, or stop reading the post altogether.  
  
Remus, your owl. Peter interrupted, backing away from the snapping bird.  
  
Offering a portion of bacon as a peace treaty, Remus wrestled his letter free from the old owl.  
  
Letter from your girlfriend? Sirius asked, smiling in amusement.  
  
Shut up. he muttered under his breath, noticeably flustered. While the Marauders laughed, a rare sound as of late, Remus broke the wax seal on the thick parchment.  
  
My brother sent it, I'll have you know.  
  
You know Moony, you haven't talked much of him for a long while. Did something happen? James observed, still chuckling.  
  
You could say that. Remus answered, frowning as he read.  
  
_Remus,  
  
I realise you aren't ready to forgive me yet, and I can respect that. I'm fully ashamed of myself, and I don't expect you to ever trust me again. This is merely my last amends. I'm sorry, Remus, I can't express that enough. I have so little to live off of, and I lost so much in one night. I blame myself for how I acted, it was rash and inexcusable. Please, understand one thing though.  
  
I'm sorry, so much more than I'll ever be able to tell. It wouldn't be right of me to ask forgiveness, but I can't carry on with this guilt. Please, let me try to start over.  
  
There's no need to reply, I'll understand if this goes unanswered.  
  
Romolus  
  
_Sirius... Do you have a quill? Remus asked quietly, turning the parchment over, forcing his hands to comply. They seemed to feel like lead, unwilling to move.  
  
Will a pencil do? I always have one around, for Map modifications. he said, rummaging through his many pockets. With a grin, he produced a very overused pencil, pensive bite marks covering the stubby eraser.   
  
Muggles were brilliant for inventing these things. A little wasteful, but they're a lot more convenient. he declared, holding it out.  
  
Hesitantly, Remus took hold of the pencil, his hand unsteady.  
  
With a long sigh, he began his note.  
  
_Maybe I can see you over the holidays, brother._  
  
Satisfied, he folded the letter and sent it off.  
  
Maybe this time I'll be able to forget. he said hopefully, an odd smile lingering on his lips.  
  
  
  
No more Forson? Peter whispered in excitement, bouncing on the balls of his feet. An idiotic grin plastered on the face of every student, the class chattered endlessly.  
  
Excuse me-  
  
Poor chap thinks he can actually get our attention. Sirius noticed, shaking his head in pity. They really need to find better replacements.  
  
  
  
Surprised and amused at the small man's volume, the throng of Gryffindors and Ravenclaws turned in silence.  
  
Sirius snickered, as the man himself looked startled at their cooperation.  
  
Thank you. he began, trying to stand up straight. As you may have noticed, your previous Potions Professor is currently gone-  
  
A brief pause, as the class exploded in cheers.  
  
-although he will be returning at a later date.  
  
A similar wave of booing and groans followed.  
  
Where is he? Remus asked over the commotion.  
  
Er, well, I'm not really supposed-  
  
James asked, smiling at the affirming look he received. Serves the bastard well, don't you think?  
  
I suppose, but I bet he's only in a Med unit. Do you really think they'd let a bloke like him in the Auror's divisions? Nah, he's going to be brewing healing potions back at some dingy base I'll bet. Sirius mumbled.  
  
Yeah, so where-  
  
Marcus, I'll assume the class is well-behaved?  
  
Silenced by her presence, everyone slowly closed their mouths.  
  
Oh, hello Celia. Er, yes, they're being alright I suppose-  
  
You suppose, Marcus? she asked dryly, rolling her deep eyes to herself. If you aren't sure, perhaps you're unfit to teach this class. By all means, if you can't decide whether or not they're behaving, I doubt you can handle seventh-year Potions.  
  
Snickering, Peter nodded his own agreement.  
  
he murmured, his pale face tingeing red.   
  
I'm just joking. she said, shrugging at the class, eliciting a few laughs from the Marauders. Anyway, I need a few chairs, alright? My classroom doesn't have any desks and I need ten or so.  
  
I don't have ten to sp-  
  
Thanks Marcus. Ms. Horder said in a hurry, magicking a dozen or so chairs to follow her as she dashed out the door.  
  
Flustered, the substitute Professor started to grumble to himself.  
  
Well, class, since we don't have any chairs now, you may as well make yourself comfortable on the floor.  
  
Er, what's you name? a Ravenclaw finally asked, looking around the room.  
  
Red-faced, he bit his lip.   
  
Only a few students bothered to even try and refrain from laughing.  
  
  
  
How do you _know_ that prat? Peter laughed as he walked into Defense.  
  
I know quite a few prats, Mr. Pettigrew. the professor replied, glaring at him in particular as she arranged the desks.  
  
Confused at this new concept, as desks had been abandoned the year before, the mix of Houses crowded by the door.  
  
Ms. Horder instructed, turning around.  
  
Raising an eyebrow, Remus nearly sputtered his immediate thought.  
  
Say one word, my dear child, and you are going to regret it next time we have a demonstration class. she snapped, eyes warning him more than her words. I have a friend coming in today, I figured Muggle blue jeans and a ponytail would be inappropriate.  
  
This is more than acceptable. James said, smiling idiotically. Sirius nodded an agreement, thoroughly enjoying the sight of his favourite professor in dress robes.  
  
Black, if I hear one more cat-  
  
Sorry ma'am. he corrected hastily, catching sight of her wand tipping from her front pocket.  
  
After a short lecture on proper behaviour and a lengthy process of seating arrangements (Remus, James, Sirius and Peter had all been strategically separated) there came a knock on the classroom door.  
  
Anyone being disrespectful shall face a very unpleasant detention. she hissed, calling for her guest to enter.  
  
A small and frail looking man entered, clad in such a perfect colour of black he was hard to distinguish from the shadowy, windowless room. As he walked through the crooked isle of desks, Remus caught sight of his aging face. He smiled curiously, evaluating everyone with his dark eyes.  
  
This is my old mentor, Takahashi Ryosuke-san.  
  
The old man waited for a greeting, Remus and a quiet Ravenclaw he knew, Marah Kromwell, the only ones bowing in respect.  
  
Answering the glare from their professor, the class awkwardly followed suit.  
  
he said, bowing his head in return. Celia-san asked me to come in today to meet you.  
  
Ryo, pardon my interruption, but I need to remind you they are only here for an hour. Ms. Horder said, her voice apologetic.  
  
Ah, yes. the man said, chuckling to himself. As I am told, you are well-taught in the arts of self-defense, as by way of my former student. he went on, smiling inwardly at old memories of a feisty graduate. But your training is far from complete. In a situation of conflict, every one of you would fall.  
  
C'mon, some of us can best Ms. Horder now! a Hufflepuff declared.  
  
Frowning, Mr. Takahashi pursed his lips in wake of the expected response.  
  
And do you know why that is?  
  
The class failed to produce an answer for some time.  
  
Well, we know how she moves, and we can predict her next moves based on how she reacted times before. James finally said, rather unsure of himself.  
  
The old Japanese sensei smiled enthusiastically.  
  
he said, nodding an approval. James, his timid face forgotten, smiled in pride of his wisdom. Correct defense can only be found through total understanding of one's own enemy.  
  
That isn't going to help us when we're confronted by someone we don't know. Remus pointed out skeptically.   
  
To be successful in every situation, one must realise their foe's intentions. It can work as well as all the knowledge gained through recognition. For, I ask you, how is it possible to properly protect oneself when the opposition's objective is unclear?  
  
Leaning back in his chair, Remus let escape a smile. This was tactical fighting, something more like chess. To him, it was far more enjoyable than forcing himself to restrain his wolfish urge to destroy his opponent, a daily battle he despised.  
  
  
_Rom, I... You've got to leave, I can't hold it back much more... he whispered, clutching tight to his bloodstained and mangled blanket. It was the only comfort his father would allow him to have during these traitorous nights.  
  
I'm not leaving you alone on the Harvest. his brother said sternly, trying to snap the young boy to his calm mind. Not right now, anyway. I can slip out later, I'm not leaving you here alone. You're going to hurt yourself again.  
  
I don't wanna hurt you. Remus cried, his face scrunched up in intolerable pain.  
  
I know Remus, just fight it a little longer.  
  
  
_What if there is no objective? he asked rather suddenly, snapping out of his daze. What if your enemy has no clear goal?  
  
Then you are facing life in its purest form. the old man replied, bowing his head low. For in war, there will always be a cause, a mission one could say. Life often strays from this rule.  
  
The class sat silent, trying to understand what was being said.  
  
Ms. Horder looked from her mentor, and then to Remus. Slowly their eyes met, and both smiled at how ironic life was to them, how accurate the oration seemed to be.  
  
It does. Remus mumbled, his voice lost to the group. You just don't always want to see it.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Wow, another one down... I have exams soon, so don't expect any updates (though I may surprise you). Anyway, can you believe it? This git of a fic is well over a year old, and still going strong, I guess. You all realise I'll have to end it soon, no? That'll be a sad day... The end of Seeing Grey. I can barely comprehend it, let alone plan writing it. Ah!  
  
**Iggie  
  
  
**Note-** All those that were on my mailing list, or told they were, I had a problem changing internet providers. Therefor I'm afraid quite a few of your names have been lost from my list. If you think you should be receiving update emails, or would like to be, say so in your review. Be sure to type in your email address or be logged in so I can find it.  
  
If you'd find it more convenient, email me at alyssa@infiniterpg.com and we can handle the situation there.  
  
Thank you!


	75. Part LXXV Imminent

  
  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Chapter LXXV - Imminent  
  
  
  
  
  
All students are to report to their dormitories immediately. No exceptions. Repeat, all students please report to their dormitories immediately. Thank you.  
  
Remus groaned, rolling over on his side with a grimace. The full moon had been unusually violent on him. Or, he reasoned, James, Sirius, and Peter gone had been difficult. They hadn't shown up the night before, and he was left to furiously scratch and bite at himself.  
  
he said raggedly, his voice mangled beyond recognition. After a long minute of staring, trying to focus his aching eyes on anything at all, he pushed himself upright.  
  
Where are you guys? he asked in pain, edging away from a pool of his own blood that dripped across the floor, flowing from more open wounds than he could feel.  
  
Eyes shut tight, he spit out a mouthful of blood, disgusted with himself.   
  
Can't... Leave. Remus murmured, wanting to comply with the announcement he had heard from the castle.  
  
Giving up, he allowed his body to collapse to the floor again, too exhausted to strain any longer. The blackness engulfed his mind once more, and he slipped away.  
  
  
  
Mr. Lupin, Mr. Lupin!  
  
Opening one eye, Remus groaned at the painful blast of sunlight.  
  
Mr. Lupin, come now, we have to get you back to the school. Madam Pomfrey said in a hush, hurriedly pulling him to his uncooperative feet.  
  
Wobbling about as if on a boat swaying on the violent sea, Remus tried to support himself. After several failed attempts, he slumped back down to the ground, out of the nurse's hands.  
  
Mr. Lupin, please, the school is-  
  
Locked down, I know. he groaned, grimacing at the sudden ringing in his ears. His senseless hands pounded at the ground of their own will in primitive reaction.  
  
Calmly, the experienced nurse took his hands into her own, trying to soothe the rest of his human mind into a state of function.  
  
If you can't walk Remus, I'm going to have to conjure a stretcher for you. she said softly, though a twinge of urgency present. I have to get you up to the school.  
  
Nodding, he backed his quivering arms to the splintered walls of the Shrieking Shack, and forced himself upright inch at a time.  
  
You really do beat yourself up sometimes. she said with a disdainful tisk, allowing him to lean on her without regard for the blood.  
  
Can't be helped. he murmured, fighting a losing battle to keep his mind clear.  
  
  
  
Where was he this morning?  
  
This is the second time, you know.  
  
Maybe the Professors were wrong about him.  
  
Must be involved, I mean, how couldn't he be?  
  
Moony, we tried-  
  
Remus shot his friend a silencing look, not wanting Sirius to speak of his ailment in public. The Great Hall was far too quiet for conversation of it.  
  
It's alright, I'm fine now. Just had to go down to the Hospital Wing, that's all. he said, intentionally raising his voice so the surrounding tables would catch his excuse.   
  
You look terrible. Lily said, quickly sitting down across him. James looked rather hurt that his wistful smile had been ignored.  
  
Last night was not very pleasant. he agreed, catching sight of his torn face in the gold plate's reflection. Madam Pomfrey had carelessly overlooked the cuts and scratches in her hurry to get him down to lunch. Obviously, she had been warned by Horder that the students suspected him of foul play.  
  
What were you up to out there?  
  
Allen Hawthorne, the Ravenclaw who had been named Head Boy in his place, had his arms crossed. As Remus was now growing accustomed too, he displayed an openly suspicious look.  
  
Out where? he asked dryly, waiting for the food to appear. For whatever reason, Dumbledore hadn't called for the meal to begin yet.  
  
He's looking at you.' his conscience told him. Watching you.'  
  
I've been sick for a long time Allen, you know that as well as my dorm mates. I'm often out of classes we share. he reasoned, looking up briefly.  
  
Apparently, this went well as an explanation. For all warrant it should be, Remus certainly looked under the weather.  
  
You'd be wise to not go missing early in the morning when there's been an attack warning for the nearest town over. Allen said thoughtfully, still frowning. I trust you enough, more than most people. I don't think you're foolish enough to be involved, but... You've been gone twice during Dark warnings. People suspect, and rumors spread.  
  
And they're only just that, Allen, rumors. Remus said, nodding his head in a self-affirming manner. You would be wise to disregard them.  
  
Immediately he left, and the lunch appeared before them.  
  
Passed round one. he mumbled to himself, casting a sideways glance to the smiling Headmaster.  
  
You can't do this forever, Moony. James whispered, stirring his soup dismally.  
  
I know, but I have to try. he sighed. I've been living on borrowed time for too long, but I have to keep trying...  
  
I don't have a choice anymore.'  
  
  
  
God damn bastards. Remus grumbled to himself. Absently he rubbed his left shoulder, trying to coax the sting from the impact to disappear.  
  
Watch yourself back there, Remus! Kaylie called as she flew by. She had her bat poised high above her head, ready to strike back the Bludgers the Hufflepuffs had insisted upon pelting at the lone Keeper. For a practice match, the teams were playing well beyond their normal intensity.  
  
They're rightly trying to kill you! James said in disbelief, never having seen such foul play from the normally docile team.  
  
Their Keeper, Ivorson, lost his father in a Ministry raid! Remus called as he flew above. I think... This is a match of revenge.  
  
James hissed, flying in a sharp circle around the golden posts, eyes ever-watching.  
  
You know damn well half this school thinks I'm with the Dark.  
  
Cursing under his breath, James leveled himself with his Captain.  
  
he began, frowning solemnly. this just isn't right.  
  
Twelve yards above the first. Remus interrupted, flinching as Sirius pelted a Bludger into one of the yellow blurs.  
  
  
  
The Snitch, in fifty six seconds it'll be twelve yards above the first goal post here. he repeated with a shake of his head. I never use my Precog for cheating like this, but they ended fair play a while ago.  
  
James nodded, and flew out to distract an incoming Chaser for the time being.  
  
Why can't the world just leave me alone for once? he groaned as the Chaser slipped through, fully intending to take Remus down at all costs.  
  
  
  
Mr. Lupin, may I see you after class for a moment? McGonnagal asked as the bell sounded.  
  
Groaning not from the exhausting class work the rest of the students had complained about, Remus nodded his head. More than one Slytherin waved with thankful grins as they departed, leaving him behind.   
  
Yes, professor? Remus asked wearily, not letting himself meet her mixed gaze. It was one of pity, sympathy, though all he saw was accusation.  
  
Some of the students...  
  
Suspect me of being involved in the Dark movement, I know. he said bitterly. It's been going on since the end of last year.  
  
With your absences, it does present a very questionable image, Remus. she said, using a gentle tone of voice he had not often heard from her. I'm concerned-  
  
I'm fine. he interrupted, forcing himself to look her in the eye and smile to some extent. All my work is on time, and most of the Gryffindors are with me, my friends anyway.  
  
I'm concerned that with this stress, the young professor went on, shaking her head sadly. with all of the trouble you already face, I fear that you may not be as cautious-  
  
No one is going to find out about my curse. he assured, wishing he believed what he said, wishing it weren't already a lie.  
  
Mr. Lupin, will you please let me finish? she snapped, though not in a way to tell him off. With a nod, she continued. I'm more concerned for your personal well-being at the moment. The Lord knows you have more burdens to handle than any man should, let alone a child... I would suggest that you change some of your habits soon, to possibly lift any alarm.  
  
Hopefully, he produced a true grin, his eyes losing their present emptiness.   
  
Casting him a thin smile, Professor McGonnagal went on. If you would perhaps take a few days off every now and then, outside of the lunar cycle, it will lessen the chance of someone recognizing a pattern.  
  
Useless. Snape could tell anyone he pleased.' he thought to himself, but decided to try it regardless of the Slytherin he so despised.  
  
As I heard last year, you have somewhat of a family...  
  
She trailed off as his cheeks went red, recognizing the embarrassment enough to be brief.  
  
Perhaps you could pay them a visit.  
  
Thank you, but my schoolwork-  
  
You are the head of your class, Mr. Lupin. she said quickly. I dare say it wouldn't be difficult to arrange something that would fit into this schedule.  
  
Beaming, Remus nodded, thanking her repeatedly as he fumbled out of the room.  
  
It was a hopeless cause, he reasoned. No one would believe the vacation, and more rumors would surface if there happened to be another attack in his absence.  
  
I just have to get away from this place. he muttered to himself as he passed a group of wandering second-years in the hall. Get away from these people...  
  
  
  
Are you nearly ready?  
  
Why exactly were you assigned to take me?  
  
I have to stop by the Ministry this week to file some of my work. Ms. Horder said, trying to give him the hint that they needed to be off soon.  
  
On what?  
  
Nosy little prat. she laughed, shaking her head. I work weekends, filing work on the Dark movement increasing. I still work in the Defense Department, regardless of my status as your professor. My old sensei, Ryosuke, he is my partner.  
  
So that's why you had him come in. Remus mused, shoving as few days worth of his older Muggle clothes into the last space of his satchel. Slamming his trunk lid shut, he took one final sweep of the dorm, and joined his instructor in the Common Room.  
  
No, I had him come in because I'm concerned with how many in your class are involved.  
  
I only know of a few. Remus said to himself, climbing through the portal.  
  
There's more than a few. Ms. Horder snapped, resentfully, disgustedly. Far more... You would be surprised, if I could tell you. Since they're still minors, they have a certain degree of protection. They can just _wait_ until graduation, I'll wipe those filthy little grins...  
  
Remus smiled to himself, amused at how passionate she was getting. Out of the presence of others, she was little more than an angry student herself, firmly affixed to a single belief.  
  
Ryosuke raised me, you know. My mother died when I was still in Hogwarts, he adopted me. Always joked I was his favourite student during my martial arts classes, I never dreamed he would become my parent. she admitted.  
  
What happened to your real father?  
  
Her eyes flashed for a moment, a look Remus knew very well.  
  
He killed my mother. Threatened to slit my throat if I told anyone, but I knew better. Ryosuke had him sent to Azkaban three days before my birthday.  
  
Nodding in response, Remus led way out of the castle. He wasn't sure why his professor was telling him this, though he felt obliged to listen. She knew his unfortunate past, possibly she felt it necessary to share the same.  
  
That's why I took up arms against the Dark, to keep people like him from hurting anyone.  
  
People like me? he asked quietly. Creatures of the Dark, you know... My kind is known for killing and causing nothing but the pain you can't stand.  
  
It's better to fight for the helpless than against. she replied, not finding it in herself to meet his gaze. You can't control what you are, I think it's wrong for us to try and control you.  
  
We need control. he said distantly, thinking of all the times he had acted out of anger, felt the primal urge to taste fresh blood.   
  
You need freedom more than anything. the professor finished, waiting on the Hogwarts steps as a carriage pulled up steadily.   
  
We all need freedom from the Dark.  
  
  
  
  
  
Smiling at the completely baffled look on his face, Remus wedged the door open and bowed his head to Caleb.  
  
So, how is the mighty werewolf saint healing? he asked, tossing his satchel at the door. For a moment he paused to look at it, finally admitting that his old traveling companion could use a replacement.  
  
Glancing at his watch, which displayed the date ticker in a corner, Caleb blinked in confusion.  
  
You're supposed to be in school for another month and a half. he observed, tapping at his timepiece to make sure it was working properly.  
  
I know. Remus said with an awkward shrug. Because of less than pleasant circumstances, the teachers granted me a leave.  
  
You're face is... Mangled. I take it the Cerbick's Moon didn't agree with you?  
  
Among other things. Remus hummed, calling for the twins.  
  
Oh, they're across the street again.  
  
Finally found friends, I see. Looking through the window, he watched the two not-so-little boys race after another child their own age.  
  
Our last salvage trip pulled a mother with one left... I didn't get there quick enough to save her daughter. Caleb said in a dark manner, regretting his injuries. I don't move as quickly as I used to, not with this damn leg.  
  
He indicated his past injury which had burdened him with a cane.  
  
So anyway kid, how long are you staying?  
  
Three days... he muttered, looking around the room with a wistful sort of smile. It's good to be back here. I only start to pine for it it once I've been gone, though. Have I missed a whole lot? Remus finally asked, turning back to face his friend.  
  
Caleb, I can't find... My... Oh, hello Remus.  
  
Blushing red, Remus immediately turned away from Melhane. Seeing his friend's girlfriend clad only in a towel was not one of the first things he had wished to see upon arrival.  
  
Uhm, yes, you have missed a little... Caleb started, his voice trailing off unsteadily.  
  
Oh, don't be a prat. Just tell him! Melhane chuckled, hurrying back to the tiny bathroom to find a robe.  
  
Uh... We're engaged?  
  
Snorting to himself, Remus shook his head.   
  
Not this again. he laughed. Caleb, don't bother, I'll just... Go. came his quick interruption. Gathering up the battered satchel once more, he waved blindly as he shut the door.  
  
Sure has grown. he said to himself, smiling in admiration as he walked the main street. What started out as a dusty way of a few scattered homes, little more than wooden shacks, was now a gravel-paved line of nearly respectable houses. Those who had found resource and ample help had even fashioned themselves brick chimneys.  
  
Hello, Rhint? he called, letting himself into the re-roofed home across the pathway. Are you here?  
  
Quietly, as to not disturb her if she was sleeping, Remus tossed his belongings on the single chair of the first room, tiptoeing his way around.  
  
Who is-  
  
he said tightly, stopping dead in his tracks. She was pressed against his backside, a wand forced against his throat.  
  
Immediately she dropped arm, and turned him around by the shoulder.  
  
she asked, squinting horribly, even though he was only a foot or so in front of her. A delighted smile slowly crossed her features, and she bowed her head in apology.  
  
I'm sorry. she blurted out. Caleb took me along on a Ministry raid, my eyes have not recovered yet.  
  
You're hurt? His voice was rather urgent, and he momentarily brought his hand to her pale face.  
  
I'm alright. Instinctively, quickly, she backed away from his touch. She nodded her head in apology for the reaction a second later. A wall was blown away, I was too close. I can't see very well.  
  
Have you-  
  
Theodore said that I would be fine in a week. There isn't any medication here for it, but I'll manage.  
  
Sensing his frown more than seeing, she tried to settle it with a falsely produced smile of her own. So why are you here? It's still quite some time before the winter holidays.  
  
My professors gave me a short vacation, a recovery of sorts.  
  
Furrowing her eyes to little more than grey slits, she tried to look at his face clearly.  
  
  
  
Hesitantly, she put a finger to his cheek, and brushed over the largest gash.  
  
It's ok. he said as she drew her hand back, looking as worried as he had.  
  
We both have some healing to do, then.  
  
Come on, I didn't escape my prison just to recover from a few menial cuts. There's much more to be done.  
  
Such as?  
  
Remus paused for a moment, wondering if Diagon Alley would be safe. His thoughts were interrupted by a harsh rap at the door, followed by a quick shout.  
  
Lupin, are you in here?  
  
Shaking his head, Remus put his hands up, hoping Rhint would silence Garade before he was caught.  
  
He's right- she called back, stopping as he peered in.  
  
Caleb wants you.  
  
I was just over there. he groaned, thoroughly discouraged.   
  
Yes, and we just got a raid call. You're supposed to come as well, McCalister.  
  
Can't you just leave us alone? he said without thinking, regretting his choice of words instantly. Garade broke into a massive grin, suggesting more than he could voice.  
  
Well, if you need your privacy, I suppose we can lend the schoolboy a free-  
  
Making improper use of a curse he had picked up from Ms. Horder, Remus rid himself of the pest.  
  
I hate that boy. Rhint gritted, frowning.  
  
He's absolutely charming compared to some of my classmates. Remus said to himself.  
  
  
  
There's a Slytherin... Someone from a different House, you know Houses, right?  
  
Caleb told me, once. Go on. She motioned for him to continue.  
  
To say that we don't get along would be a severe understatement. Remus explained. He knows of what I am, and uses that knowledge to his advantage at every opportunity. That's part of the reason I'm here. he said, offering a simple shrug.  
  
Well, whatever brought you back home, I'm glad. she said with a crooked smile.   
  
So, you've accepted this as home, then?  
  
Nodding to herself, Rhint opened her hands in gesture. I haven't anywhere else to go. You, this little house, and this dirty street are all I have anymore.  
  
It shouldn't be this way. he mused sadly, wishing beyond all hope that things were different for his companions of the curse. So many were among the most undeserving. None, he thought to himself, deserved to walk the path of hell, trapped between two worlds of imminent cruelty.  
  
From the window, through its cloudy pane, Remus watched the twins scurry by in their game of chase.  
  
We're always the ones being chased. he said out loud. For once, I wish they would accept us and end the hunt.  
  
It's against the nature of our lives. Rhint whispered, almost fearful of her past memories. I thought I was the only one confined to the streets and the pains of an uncaring society... We're all shunned at some point.  
  
I'll end that. Remus said slowly, an old determination rising in his voice. I swear, by the life of me, I'll out an end to that. I don't know how, but... Dammit, we should have so much more than this.  
  
Should we? she asked, looking up at him, eyes empty. We're the beasts of this world, even God shuns us as demons. We're unwelcome in church, at schools, even on the streets among thieves we're unwanted. I think, beyond these walls, there is nowhere for us to turn.  
  
You're wrong. Remus declared softly. There are a precious few who may have it in them to accept us.  
  
Shaking her head, Rhint took his hand between her own. They can't accept what they don't understand. We're always going to be looked down upon, one way or the other. I don't see how it's possible for it to be any different.  
  
I'll make it different.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Well, I've been a busy little non-attentive student... These past two chapters were the byproduct of failed attempts at studying. I give up o.O  
  
**A disgruntled, tired, dazed and brain-fried Iggie


	76. Part LXXVI Captive

A/n- I should have been studying this entire time. In fact, during both 74 and 75 I should have been studying. I'm quite convinced that I have ADD when it comes to exam cramming... New updates seem to be the result (that, and a lot of doodles).  
  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXXVI - Captive  
  
  
  
  
  
They've been gone a long time. Remus said to himself, looking expectantly at the clock. For several hours he had remained in the still room, trying to keep himself calm.  
  
They'll be back. Rhint answered quietly. Carefully she stood up, bringing the sleeping boy with her. Motioning for Remus to follow suit, she lead the way to the makeshift pair of cots in her own bedroom.  
  
I let them stay here sometimes, when Caleb and Melhane want the house to themselves. she whispered, throwing a blanket over Corey. Like any respecting father would, Remus adjusted it, tucking it around the child. Awkwardly duplicating the process, Rhint tried to do the same for the other twin.  
  
This is taking far too long. Remus said again, shutting the door behind him as he went back to his chair. It screeched when he sat down, trying not to break underneath him.  
  
It was just as long when I went. Rhint lied, trying to ease his mind.  
  
I know, but... I just have a bad feeling.  
  
If anyone had a Vision, I'm sure we'd be alerted.  
  
Do you trust your own? he asked her sharply, knowing very well that they both disregarded most of the dreams they saw while awake.  
  
she admitted after a long pause, lowering her eyes. They can be changed, it's only one possible future of many... She shivered for a moment, crossing her arms for comfort.  
  
Why didn't you tell me? Remus groaned, getting up in a rush. As he picked up his cloak by the door, Rhint grabbed his forearm.  
  
Don't go. she pleaded, biting her unsteady lip. A fool, she thought, such a fool for trying to keep it from him.  
  
I'll be back. Remus assured, pulling away. She wouldn't let go.  
  
You're going to... You aren't-  
  
I'll be back. he repeated, and not looking back, he slipped through the door.  
  
Tell the town we'll all be back soon. he said from the porch, pausing for only a moment.  
  
Furiously, he broke into a run for the one-way Floo chimney at the other end of the gravel road.  
  
  
  
Well, I guess this solves my problem with the school thinking I was with the Dark. Remus said grimly, struggling to keep the chains off as much skin as possible. I wont even have to worry about them anymore.  
  
Try as he might, he couldn't disillusion himself with the irony. Dammit, I wish I knew how Caleb is doing...  
  
Remus eventually stopped his ramblings, letting the engulfing void of darkness take over. His inconsistent breath was the only sound, coupled by frequent intakes of breath when he shifted his body. The silver pierced his mind, forcing him to lose his thoughts.  
  
he whispered to himself, eyes squinted from the searing pain of his bonds. You need to get out of here and find the others.  
  
Taking in a long gasp of air, he tried once more to pull free from the silver shackles around his wrists. The end was result left him staggered forward, hanging against their cruel support.  
  
he cursed to the laughing blackness. God dammit...  
  
  
  
...Expecting to file paperwork, for the love of God.  
  
Everything was a colourless blur, a drunken swirl of shapes that couldn't possible mean anything. Sharp sirens of sound sang to him, the faintest whispers of movement whipping his skin.  
  
Someone was there. A scent, something familiar.  
  
God forsaken life of mine never ceases to screw me over.  
  
One eye at a time, as they seemed to be stuck, Remus focused his weary sight.  
  
Don't move an inch, you'll kill yourself. she snapped.  
  
Violating her command, he couldn't help but laugh.  
  
Thank you. Ms. Horder glared, wiping the spurt of blood from her robes. I simply love being here, you know. Came in expecting to sit at my desk all afternoon, but no, there's a Level Two alert sounding.  
  
Distant, everything seemed distant. By the time he would produce a consequential thought to her words, she was a few seconds ahead of him. The lag only allowed him hear every other bit of information.  
  
Git up from Strategic Resources walks out of here with a Goddamn grin...  
  
One nerve at a time, Remus' body slowly lifted from unconsciousness. He screamed out rather suddenly as the fire washed over him.  
  
I told you to not move. Ms. Horder interrupted, carefully pressing him back against the stone wall, avoiding the many gaps on his skin. He flinched at the impact, but soon took comfort in the cold.  
  
Now stay still, there are only a few screws to this thing. I don't have a key so... Hey, hey! Don't pass out, I'm sure as hell not hauling your bloody arse out of...  
  
Remus, trying to whisper a sorry', gave way to his tired body's request.  
  
_  
  
Where is he? Did the party- He stopped himself, noticing the grave, empty look the young boy returned.  
  
We found him, sir... He was in one of the, in the... Shivering at the memory, the boy turned his head down. He was still hanging there, sir, still... Just hanging, perfectly still.  
  
Lead me. came the weak reply.  
_  
  
Dammit, stop moving! Ms. Horder snapped, grabbing his slit wrist to keep it from involuntarily twitching against the constant shock of silver. Inwardly she cursed, telling off her own organization. This couldn't be legal, she thought, least humane.  
  
she said to herself, not able to make a single one of the thick screws budge. With all his movement, and the obstacle of his blood, it was near impossible to work. Brute force had done nothing, and not a single spell had yet to penetrate their wards.   
  
Biting her lip, the young Auror-in-training looked up to her bloodied student, hanging against the wall. His feet don't even reach the floor yet, she thought in disgust. He's still just a child.  
  
This is just wrong. she said in resent to her own employers.  
  
  
_Somebody get them before they escape!  
  
I'm on it!  
  
  
_  
  
  
  
Whas ap'pening... Where're Cal'b an' the others?  
  
Did you hear something in there?  
  
Probably woke up.  
  
The door, he reasoned there had to be a door somewhere in the mass of emptiness, clicked. A second later, a blinding flood of light made him cry out.  
  
Ms. Horder whispered, pulling her hood over her head. I'm sorry... I can't fight them here. With a regretful look to Remus, she disappeared in a cloud of grey smoke and colourful sparks.  
  
Maybe the little boy will finally talk, now. one of them men chuckled, pulling out his wand.  
  
Shutting his useless eyes, Remus let out a small cry.   
  
  
_We're useless if we don't get out of here! We have to go now!  
  
I'm not leaving him behind.  
  
He's dead! Let's GO.  
  
Fuming, Caleb hit him across the face. I'm not leaving ANYONE behind, got that? He saved your sorry carcass before, now return the favour! This isn't a choice anymore.  
  
_Stop it... Remus pleaded, no longer capable of screaming, too numb to feel the pain. I don't know, please, just stop.  
  
Doesn't matter if you know or not, ya' damn beast. You're all the same, prancing about in delight of the Dark rise. Where's your master now, hm? Your little Dark Lord doesn't even seem to care for his dirty little pets. We'll slaughter all of you before you even get the chance to run home to your Daddy.  
  
Face smeared with the salt of blood and tear, Remus hung against his chain, softly weeping to himself.  
  
Please stop...  
  
  
  
Someone was coming, he could hear the faint tap of every step. Afraid to open his eyes to more pain, Remus let himself fall limp, pretending he was somewhere else entirely.  
  
The door opened, and he remained still, wanting to be rid of his hell at any price. The thought crossed his mind to just let them finish him, though he couldn't summon the strength to call out anymore.  
  
The blackness returned, leaving him to mutely sob to himself for comfort, for recognition of anything at all.  
  
  
  
It's too risky for you to take him alone... There should have bee dozens of you.  
  
They left. the voice whispered, harsh from either damage or rage. I stayed behind to get him.  
  
Noble of you, but damn foolish.  
  
Like a bitter honey, he thought to himself, mixed with the scent of dried flower. So calming to be lowered into a field of such.  
  
His eyes are open, but...  
  
He's alive. Ms. Horder assured. Let me take him,  
  
I think your coworkers and yourself have done more than enough.  
  
Dammit, I may work here but I sure as hell don't agree with this. she snapped. Look, there's a sizable bounty for your head, you need to get yourself out of here. There's no time for you to be stalling to keep him safe as well safe.  
  
He's better off with us-  
  
Better off, huh? We sent him back because he was having a rough time at Hogwarts. I figured a vacation would be beneficial, so I argued with the Headmaster and eventually brought him overseas. It may well be my fault for putting him in this situation, but it's yours for leading a child off to fight a losing battle!  
  
Caleb narrowed his eyes, scowling. It's because of your damn Ministries that he's here. And I'll have you know I left him behind-  
  
They're in here!  
  
Ms. Horder cursed, and gathered Remus in her arms.  
  
He needs medical attention right now, I'm taking him back to Hogwarts.  
  
If you Apparate with him, he'll die on the way. Caleb pointed out, grabbing hold of Remus' arm.  
  
Rubbing her eyes, she nodded.  
  
How many more are in his condition?  
  
There's a little girl near dead, two of my raid crew around there, and about a dozen at various levels of injury.  
  
she whispered, looking at the door expectantly, praying it wouldn't open anytime soon. They need St. Mungo's, but I know they can't... I'm going to send the Hogwarts nurse to your city.  
  
What? You're sure as hell not!  
  
They're going to die, kid. she said. Without proper treatment, there is no way any of them are going to live. He is my student, nodding to Remus, she felt a twinge of guilt within herself. Her suggestion had allowed this to happen. therefor I'm responsible for his well-being. Refuse her in, and don't doubt that I'll report the lot of you. It's my job, after all.  
  
Caleb cursed at her cocky grin, how she knew she had won the fight.  
  
What's the quickest way out of her? he asked, defeated.  
  
West entrance is near, but it'll be blockaded. Go to the fifth floor and walk into the coffee lounge, it should be abandoned. The coffee is horrible. she said with a little laugh. There's an open Floo there, since all the security will be elsewhere. Just take the main elevator, no one will suspect it. You're clever, they're expecting your former routes, so they'll only be guarding the smaller exits.  
  
Nodding, Caleb pulled the boy into his tired arms, and started for the door.  
  
Why do you let us escape, so many times? he finally asked, the question on his mind for several months. There's no benefit for you to keep hiding us.  
  
Ms. Horder smiled sadly, her eyes losing their brilliance for only a short moment. What they're doing is murder, and it's my job to stop the Dark.  
  
We're Dark creatures, though. Caleb reminded.  
  
You're only what they force you to be. To me, you're the victims.  
  
Glad to hear that an outsider finally sees that. he said as he disappeared from view.  
  
  
  
I cannot continue to treat him here, any of them!  
  
They're not leaving. This is the only home they have, and-  
  
And they're going to die in it if I can't get them better attention!  
  
Bloody hell.  
  
Both turned around, and immediately went to the one bed pulled away from the other dozen.  
  
Jesus Christ, Remus, we thought-  
  
Drink this. Madame Pomfrey interrupted, forcing him to swallow a very foul substance. He objected to the taste, sputtering at the cross of decayed salamander and Dorlip hide, but did not complain outright. It filled his body with a sharp jolt of warmth, something he most was grateful for.  
  
Thought I was dead. he said, rubbing his cracked throat. It seemed every inch of his body was covered with the same thin lines.  
  
Caleb, smiling as if the world had just found peace, didn't restrain himself from hugging the boy.  
  
Don't do that again. he reprimanded quietly, ignoring the nurse's protests. I didn't want you coming along on this one, it's getting too dangerous for you. You're the only one with a life outside, I can't let you come on the raids anymore.  
  
You didn't come back. Remus choked out, swallowing the bit of blood he had tasted in his mouth. So I couldn't let you be taken.  
  
Madame Pomfrey scoffed in disgust at their stupidity.  
  
If it weren't for Dumbledore and that blasted woman, I would turn you in and end this nonsense. Personally, the whole lot of you belong in a mental institution. Barking mad, you are. It's suicide to run off like that, at the Ministry no less!  
  
The two smiled. It isn't insanity, Madame, it's just a way of life.  
  
Not understanding them at all, the young nurse frowned and muttered to herself as she went to check her other patients.  
  
  
  
You really have a knack for nearly killing yourself. Sirius said with a respectful grin.   
  
Ms. Horder stormed back into class this morning, during Charms, and dragged us out. Literally, I mean... It still hurts. Peter commented, rubbing his neck.  
  
We thought you had died or something. James offered, the only one of the three looking genuinely worried. Sirius and Peter had just accepted the fact that Remus was accident prone and indestructible and hadn't troubled themselves with worry. The way Horder was rambling, and what with the news article-  
  
Remus asked, frowning. If he was mentioned in the news, it would be the end of his Hogwarts life.  
  
Yeah, the _Prophet_ wrote about it this morning. Long article that explained absolutely nothing. There were only bits and pieces about werewolves, but we figured you would be involved. Sirius laughed. Stupid git, you're granted a vacation and you go and do this.  
  
We got nine out, though. he defended, looking off to the side of the emptied out building that served as a hospital. That lived, anyway.  
  
Don't worry about him getting killed, Caleb interrupted, coming in through the side door to avoid the snippety nurse. I'm sure as hell not letting him come anymore.  
  
The Marauders smiled, all glad that their friend wouldn't be in danger any longer.  
  
Caleb, that isn't-  
  
Fair? You're right, it isn't fair. I shouldn't be allowed to chose for you. he finished, shaking his head. It's also unfair for me to expect you to be the hero any longer, for any of us to. You have a life outside this scrap of a city and I'm not going to let you gamble it for a pack of renegades.  
  
Remus, biting his lip in anger, looked down the length of his bed to his shattered legs. I can still help, once I'm better... I'll graduate soon, you know, and I can come back to help here all the time. It wont be a problem then.  
  
No, you're going to get yourself a job. James said in place of the town leader. I understand what he's saying Moony, and I'll have to agree.  
  
You guys, come on! Remus complained, sitting upright with difficulty. So I take a fall every once in a while, that doesn't mean I should quit altogether! Haven't we always been taught to keep trying-  
  
You shouldn't be taking the falls at all. Caleb mused solemnly. It's not your place to risk your own life, it never was. I was a fool for letting you before.  
  
This... God, come on! I hate us being here as much as anyone else, I hate _everything_ about how we're forced to live. Just because I'm an exception doesn't mean you can exile me from helping you.  
  
James, Sirius and Peter shared a quick glance, knowing what Caleb was implicating was wrong, yet still wishing it to be so.  
  
Remus, as much as I care about you kid, I'm going to have to tell the gate keepers to deny you entrance.  
  
he roared, trying to push himself out of the bed. Sirius forced him back down with the greatest of ease, shaking his head.  
  
You're only hurting yourself by staying here. Caleb said softly, not meeting Remus' gaze. Every time you come back, you grow a little more attached. And then you leave, tearing yourself apart bit by bit. Not to mention you've nearly been killed more times than I care to remember.  
  
But I _haven't_. Remus snapped, scowling visibly. This place is my home, you can't just kick me out because I was caught ONCE! Dammit, I helped build this!  
  
Exactly. You've done your duty, now it's time for me to do mine. I'm sorry, but this is for your own good, kid. You're going to destroy your own life if I don't stop you from it.  
  
Sirius kept his grasp tight on Remus' shoulder as Caleb left in silence.  
  
Guys, come on! Remus asked, pleading for his release. I belong here, dammit, he's going to ruin everything!  
  
Moony, look at yourself. James said quickly, helping to confine Remus. You could have died, again. It's noble, and I understand how you feel-  
  
How could you possibly understand? You don't know what it's like! Remus yelled. Nodding, James agreed in part.  
  
But I do know what it's like to watch people suffer, Moony. Caleb is right, you're tearing yourself apart living in two worlds. You may like this one better, but it's going to be the end of you.  
  
It should be my choice. Remus groaned, falling back against the comforting pillow. This is _my_ life...  
  
We just don't want you to give it up when there's another choice. Sirius said quietly. We care about you Moony, whether you like it or not.  
  
Grumbling about injustices, Remus simply nodded. He could appreciate their concern, and revel in the fact that they felt he was worth all the trouble, but...  
  
I guess this is one thing I'll let someone else take care of.' he finally reasoned, shutting his tired eyes. Maybe God will give me a little slack, now, a little peace outside this hell...'  
  
I think he needs a vacation from his vacation. Peter sniggered, leaving with his two friends to find a person willing to lend a spare room.  
  
He needs a vacation from life, Wormtail, that he does. James muttered, wondering whether he should smile or frown. It was one of those few situations in which neither seemed appropriate.  
  
Hey Prongs, do ya'-  
  
Remus will kill us if we bother her. he interrupted, knowing exactly what was being planned. Seriously, my friend, don't doubt that he'll come after us.  
  
He's crippled. Sirius objected, discouraged that he had no fellowship for his mischief. He suddenly broke into a laugh, and had to stop himself from falling over.  
  
What's so funny? Peter inquired, thinking Sirius had finally gone mad.  
  
Just... The mental image, of Moony... Running after me, flaming red, you know. Just gimping along all embarassed-like and screaming at me, but... God, he'd look _hilarious_ hobbling after me! Oh, screw it Prongs, that's incentive to go and peeve him!  
  
Sirius, wait! That girl's insane, she might pull her bloody knife out on you again, or-  
  
Just let him be. James said, grabbing Peter before he tried to run off after Sirius. He's a lost cause.  
  
We're all lost causes. he groaned in dismay.  
  
  
  
  
**Thanks for reading... I have exams, so, uh, wish me luck? God, I'm going to need it. I've been writing instead of studying! EECK!  
  
**A very, _very_ neurotic Iggie  
  
  
  
**Reader Responses:  
  
Only Human: **Ah, Rhint's idea of God rejecting werewolves is actually a very old philosophy. Since they were creatures of evil, created by demons and the devil's followers, they were frowned upon by Christian society. Rather like the witch burnings, werewolves would be prosecuted and put to death if there was reason to believe the individual was cursed. Being demon creations, they were denied entrance to church and at times forced to denounce themselves of faith publicly. Then again, this is only lore, but I felt it would tie in with the story, what with how the wizarding society feels about werewolves. I think it should be rather similar to how the old Christian views were.  
  
**FlamingElf: **Sorry, my mail was going to Penruia instead, one little typo... It's now fixed!


	77. Part LXXVII Flightless

A/n- Again, I should be studying... You know, I can blame you guys when I fail my exams. It's a terrible excuse, but I'm desperate!!  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXXVII - Flightless  
  
  
  
  
This isn't fair! I'm _not_ going to let him-  
  
Rhint, come on, I doubt he really meant it. Remus lied, trying to calm her down.  
  
Furiously, she swung back around, and glared at him with the viciousness of a dragon that had just been violated.  
  
HE CAN'T JUST KICK YOU OUT! she roared, her face swollen with rage. And how could YOU let him?  
  
Letting out a very long sigh, Remus hung his head down in an attempt to collect his thoughts.  
  
I was ridden to that bed for three days, so I've had more than enough free time to think this over. he started, taking a seat on the beaten sofa-chair. He's right in the sense that I'm hurting myself by coming here any longer, both physically and mentally. It's really hard for me to keep switching roles... One day I'm the Hogwarts student, and the next I have to play savior.  
  
  
  
I can't do it any more Rhint, it's killing me. He looked up briefly, and frowned inwardly at her watery eyes. I don't want to leave, Rhint, you know that. Leaving you and the boys behind is the last thing I want to do-  
  
Then why are you? she snapped, turning away. You aren't even trying to stay, just going to abandon me... And...  
  
You know it's not true. Remus said gently. I don't want to leave, but I have to.  
  
Her voice was quiet, almost harsh now.  
  
I promised myself a long time ago that I would make something of myself, and I can't do that here.  
  
You've been our leader, isn't... Isn't that enough for you? she asked bitterly, looking over shoulder for a moment. He didn't allow himself to meet the accusing glare.  
  
I need to see what's out there for me, once and for all. I might fail, and end up coming home. Caleb will let me back then, but only then. Unless there's no choice left for me, I'm going to find my own way, my own life. What we have here is a very shallow existence and it just isn't enough for me.  
  
With a sort of swiftness and light of foot only those of the curse could achieve, he stepped behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.  
  
I'm sorry, Rhint, but I need to try. he whispered sadly. She didn't flinch at his touch, he noticed, and it tore his heart to understand that he had finally gained her trust at the worst possible moment.  
  
You're going to come back. she said to herself, forcing her mind to accept it. It just isn't right...  
  
I have to get back to school. Remus said after a pause, resting his head on her shoulder. It would only tear him apart, and the pain would never go away.  
  
I can't come back.'  
  
  
  
I'm sorry.  
  
He held her in silence for some time, until at last the small clock rang out the hour.  
  
Remus, please don't go. she asked, the last time.  
  
Shaking his head, he kissed her on the forehead, and swallowed his nerve.  
  
I'll write, promise.  
  
This isn't fair.  
  
I know. he responded deftly, unable to think of the proper thing to say, to make the hurt vanish. Maybe there wasn't anything to say, he mused, for once there were no right words to end the distress. But I have to try, at least, I owe it to myself.  
  
Come on Rhint, don't cry. he asked, forcing a smile that did nothing to ease her tears. We'll still see each other, I can come in to visit.  
  
I'm gonna kill him. she said softly, and idle threat in anger.  
  
Caleb didn't do anything, he just showed me the true reality. Remus muttered. Don't hold it against him, this is my own doing. I need to leave before I risk everything.  
  
Nodding, not finding the strength to do anything but, she clung to him for a few seconds.  
  
Just... Just come back. I'm tired of being abandoned, I can't...  
  
Remus returned the embrace, and slowly pushed her away.  
  
I have to go. he repeated, smiling, too sad to even frown.   
  
Never say good-bye.  
  
Chuckling in dismay, Remus forced himself out the door. He held it open for a moment, to hear one faint sob, and then sealed his own fate.  
  
he said to God, cursing his own misfortune. This is too damn hard.  
  
  
  
Where have you been? Snape hissed with his slimy scowl in place. You've missed so much fun, with the last attack twenty-three became orphans. It was a joyous occasion.  
  
Remus disregarded the sarcastic comments, and busied himself with the assigned potion.  
  
Too scared to speak, beast?  
  
Eyes flashing dangerously, he issued an unspoken threat.  
  
The Ministry will find you. Snape countered. If I could, I would turn you in myself. But don't despair, beast, they'll find you.  
  
Casually, he reached into his bag under the impression of retrieving an ingredient, slipping the latest _Daily Prophet_ onto the floor.  
  
See that Lupin? They're going to find you. he hissed in delight. Sending out an investigation team, from the Defense Department. They'll track you and your friends down, with or without my help.  
  
You're a filthy bastard. Remus said under his breath, smiling sweetly at Professor Dewsbin. Do you know what they do to us?  
  
His smug grin faltered, and he merely shook his head. I can only hope it's as unpleasant as-  
  
They give us an experience far worse than death. Remus said in the coldest voice he could muster. Every thing you could ever possibly imagine to torture me with, my friend, they find far worse.  
  
Idly, he held out his hands, and rolled back the sleeves.  
  
Snape cringed at the sight. Entire layers had burned away from the silver, leaving flaked peels to hold his flesh together. Creases were filled with pus, crackling lacerations lining where the cuffs had rested. The skin itself had shriveled from the silver, leaving it to look that of a corpse's.  
  
Drop them a little note, Severus, and I assure you, this will be nothing compared to the sights you would cause. he whispered, smiling in an almost satisfied way at how openly repulsed the Slytherin was. Now, next time you have the desire to send the Ministry an anonymous owl, remember that.  
  
Severus, is there a problem? the fumbling professor asked, eyes squinted. You look rather pale...  
  
It's just the newt, sir, it always turns his stomach. Remus answered.  
  
As Dewsbin left, Remus scratched his seared neck, flicking a scab of skin off at the Slytherin.  
  
Remember that.  
  
  
  
They're really out to get him. Remus said to himself, watching the emerald blurs maneuver and single out their prey. In mesmerizing formations, they would fall in, and pull back just before impact, keeping the team leader too distracted to help his comrades.  
  
Yeah, they must still be mad about Felspan. Peter concluded, taking a bite out of his pastry. When you were out, Ivorson turned one of their sixth years in, he caught him with a Dark magic book and some charmed thing.  
  
You're kidding...  
  
Nope, he went straight to Dumbledore with it. Sirius said, shifting uneasily as the Hufflepuff Chaser and Head Boy was rammed from both sides. The whole lot of Slytherin has been after him for some time.  
  
Except Lily. James defended quickly, smiling as his girlfriend flew by expertly.  
  
True, Remus noted, she seemed unaffected by the Slytherin hatred. She was the only person on the team playing fair, the only one in classes not to snigger when a Gryffindor was wrong.  
  
She should watch her back. he muttered to himself.   
  
If they even try to lay a finger on her, they'll regret it. James snapped, overhearing the comment. They all know that damn-well.  
  
Just look out for her Prongs, alright? Keep an eye on her, I'd hate to see something foul happen.  
  
  
  
What do you mean you took a wrong turn? We've taken this route thousands of times! James chastised.  
  
Well maybe if Pete wasn't stepping on me every two seconds I could pay attention.  
  
Hey, it isn't my fault we don't fit under this anymore.  
  
Then go out with Remus! None of the professors ever stop him, he can do whatever he wants around here. Sirius hissed.  
  
Remus said quietly, prodding the invisible mass he knew to be his friends. They silenced themselves, namely James and Peter covered Sirius' mouth.  
  
Lupin, what are you doing out at this hour? I know damn well Madame Pomfrey would throw a fit if she knew you weren't sleeping.  
  
I needed a snack. he said with a shrug, pulling one of the sandwiches from his pocket and offering half. Ms. Horder readily bit into it.  
  
House elves don't like me, I'm afraid. They never give me anything... I tried once to convince them they should be paid for working, and they always shove me out of the kitchens now.  
  
So why are you roaming Hogwarts at this hour? he questioned, walking on. behind his back, he motioned for James and the others to follow.  
  
she said, pointing to the envelope protruding from her breast pocket.  
  
That's a Ministry seal. he observed with a frown. Have they called you back to duty?  
  
She smiled grimly, and nodded. You're pretty quick, for a Gryffindor. I always figured you more of the Ravenclaw material... Except they can't fight.  
  
A trait born from my curse. he said to himself. It's one of the very advantages, I suppose, being able to defend myself.  
  
You're pretty indestructible, too, assuming that's related.  
  
He nodded a yes, and shrugged slightly. I can speak to dogs, and I have their sensitivity of scent and sound.  
  
Well, I doubt the Anderson team intended for those. Ms. Horder said off hand licking her fingers clean of bread crumbs.  
  
  
  
She titled her face away, trying to hide the obvious truth. More had been said than she was allowed, and Remus knew it.  
  
  
  
I can't tell you, kid, so forget I mentioned it. she said hurriedly, trying to walk quicker, though he matched her stride with ease. Don't even try to get a word out of me, Lupin. I've risked more than my fair share of hide for you.  
  
And don't think me ungrateful, Remus said with a very serious frown across his placid face. but with all respect due, this is... You've seen what they do.  
  
Kid, I want there to be a perfect cure just as much as you do. she interrupted, grabbing him by the shoulder. But you need to listen to one thing I say, if not for the rest of the year. Don't pry into this any longer.  
  
Shaking his head, Remus backed out of her grasp. I understand what Caleb meant, and I respect the fact that he cares for me enough to force my life along a different path. I can't, however, let this go. You know something about the origin of our scourge, and any little detail might couple with what I know. Do you really expect me to sit by and disregard a chance, even a slim chance, to help everyone?  
  
Eyes displaying a confused array of thoughts, the Defense professor swallowed to calm herself.  
  
I don't expect you to, but there's no alternative. She paused, trying to think of a way to break the uneasy silence. Get back to your dorm before I have you in detention.  
  
Turning, she stopped in her tracks, the trip almost colliding into her.  
  
That goes for you three as well.  
  
Smiling sheepishly under the cloak, Sirius bowed low and made a rude gesture.  
  
You'll find that hand broken if you do that again, Black. she hissed as she walked off, grinning inwardly.  
  
  
  
Remus cursed repeatedly as rummaged through the contents of his beaten trunk. He had broken the lock off with the greatest of ease, not having the patience to search for the key.  
  
God damn it, where is it? he yelled out, throwing his few spare robes across the dormitory floor.  
  
Are you looking for the journal? James asked from the door. Hesitantly, he took a step in, questioning his own judgment. It was close to the full moon, and he knew better than to violate Remus' space at times like this.  
  
Eyes burning, Remus faced him, and dropped the trunk to the floor.  
  
After what Ms. Horder said, I just wanted to check through it again... I should have asked, but you weren't around.  
  
Remus mumbled, standing up. A downpour of dust and debris flowed off of him, broken remains from his trunk.  
  
There wasn't any mention in it, I read through more than once. James informed.  
  
Disregarding the forewarning, Remus took the mangled journal and started to read through the stained pages.  
  
God dammit, she should just tell me!  
  
Why? So you'll just have something else to worry about?   
  
Dammit James, she could know something important! I might be able to-  
  
If there was an easy way that you could find a cure, Sirius said, stepping into the room from his lingering position around the door. she would have told you.  
  
There's something dangerous involved in this, Moony. James continued, leaning against the open door. With the war going on, and everything with you struggling here, there's no room for you to worry about this again.  
  
As soon as any of us are bitten, Remus began, looking down to the scars across his hands. it's like a new mission is embedded in our minds, something we can't help. I need to find a way to end this curse, you guys, I have to.  
  
Don't put the weight of the world on your shoulders. Sirius mused, his chest rising from a silent sigh. It isn't your burden to bear.  
  
I have to make it my burden... I have to try.  
  
He lowered his eyes as he left the dorm, the journal clutched tightly between his hands.  
  
I have to try. he repeated to himself.  
  
As he left, James and Sirius stayed back in slight disbelief.  
  
I don't think he's ever going to learn that he can't save the world by himself.  
  
Maybe we should just give up and help him. Sirius suggested with a quirky smile. It could be fun... Besides, some of those werewolves back at the Underground are unnaturally good-looking.  
  
James raised an eyebrow, and chuckled momentarily. Padfoot, my friend, I think you've developed an attraction to canine-like women.  
  
Oh, so why aren't you off chasing white-tailed girls? Hm? Lily doesn't have any hooves that I don't know about, right?  
  
James smacked him with a pillow, and after only a few counter strikes, there was another war waging in the wizarding world.  
  
  
  
_Remmie,  
  
Dad said you arnt alowed to come back any more. He said that your happyer staying at Hogwarts and your friends, but that you still love us. I dont know why you left Remmie, but I hope you come back. I miss you. Jason does to, and so does Mellie and Rhint. She gets red when we talk about you. Daddy says its because she likes you. I dont like girls, there gross. But I hope you come back for Christmas anyway. Were going to get you a really nice presant.   
  
We miss you.  
  
Corey and Jason_  
  
  
Smiling, Remus tucked the letter into his robe pocket.  
  
I think you're the only one here that looks forward to mail. Peter said idly, watching out of the corner of his eye for his own owl, wishing it not to arrive with any unpleasant news.  
  
I don't have a legal family outside of my brother, so I don't have to worry about the Ministry ever sending me any death notices. Remus explained with a shrug. Rom is more than capable of taking care of himself, so I really don't need to worry.  
  
What if someone from Jericho gets caught in an attack? James asked inbetween flicking food at Sirius down the table. He had been going after one of the sixth-years again, and James wanted to ruin his chances, as any true friend would.  
  
The Ministry wouldn't tell me. Remus said. And someone else would, it wouldn't be a Black Write... I guess I'm always going to be the exception. For the most part, I'm on a different plane than everyone else in this school.  
  
That isn't necessarily a bad thing. Peter gulped, a trio of mail carriers flying in through the window, all carrying letters marked by the dreaded black seals.  
  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Yeah, I know these chapters keep getting shorter and shorter... As I'm sure some of you have realised, this story is nearing it's absolute end, meaning, well, I have begun to think about a conclusion. Yes, yes, I know, such a sad thought! Heh... Frankly I'll be relieved to end this, as it has been overrunning my life for the past year and so.  
  
Expect the final chapter by the end of the summer, prepare yourselves in advance for the shock. o_O  
  
**Iggie  
  
  
  
**Reader Responses:  
  
Only Human: **Again, I'll single you out. Heh, off of the Biblical note, and back to your it's confusing comment'. Don't worry, it's supposed to be confusing. With confusion, I can build depth in later chapters. Till then, I get to leave you all guessing. Now come on, it's more fun this way! :P


	78. Part LXXVIII Legion

A/n- Personally, I hate summer. It's horribly dull... Since I have nothing better to do, I whipped this up for you today. Enjoy!  
  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXXVIII - Legion  
  
  
  
  
You know we're not supposed to be outside after lock-in. Peter said, looking up as Remus walked by.  
  
Something important to look for. he muttered in response, as if that was a valid excuse.   
  
He knew, or rather his conscience preached, that being out after the designated lock-in hour was foolish, not to mention dangerous. The attacks were becoming more and more frequent, and were slowly marching their way towards the castle area. Nearly every wizard town outside of Hogsmeade had been hit, and the professors were close to obsessive about their lectures regarding being out of dorms at night.   
  
But, Remus argued back to his worried self, this was more important. This was the chance to make a difference.  
  
Throwing away any caution, Remus had gathered his satchel, a Herbology book stuffed with papers, his wand and the now too-small cloak his friends had bought him several years ago. He hurried past the Marauders, the only ones awake at such an hour, and slipped through the portrait hole and into the quiet halls.  
  
McGonnagal, considering him more of a Prefect than Remus would allow himself to be, had entrusted him with the list of where all patrolling staff would be at night if an emergency should arise. Without any guilt at the moment, he used the schedule along with the Marauder's Map to edge his way outside, away from any prying eyes.  
  
he whispered, once a safe distance from the glowing castle windows. Using the faint light to guide himself, he edged towards the Forbidden Forest, the grounds he knew all too well.  
  
Should be... By the Elderwood trees. he read off, skimming a yellowed page in the old Herbology book he shouldn't have. Another guiltless act, using his Restricted Section pass to gain access to books to fuel his ploys. How foolish the professors could be, as surely they wouldn't allow even half of his check-outs.  
  
_You should not be out here at night, friend of wolf._ a passing half-dog howled, racing through the thick wood before Remus could bark a question. _It is dangerous here!_  
  
It's dangerous everywhere. Remus said to himself, shrugging off the ordeal. The creature had sensed his inner-struggle with the curse, under light of the near-full moon, and wished him to be gone.  
  
Fixed into a set mind frame, Remus went back to work, searching for the smallest of roots in the dark.  
  
  
  
Digging into the damp earth, Remus pulled up a handful of rock and plant, though he cursed with the results.  
  
Dammit, this stuff has got to be out here somewhere. he grumbled, wiping his muddy face. For several hours he had been out in the forest, forcing his blood-caked hands into the ground again and again.  
  
This _has_ to be the right tree. he snapped, grabbing his wand from it's resting place on a branch above him. Flipping through the book, he read the page for what seemed to be the hundredth time, and pursed his pale lips. It should be here, else...  
  
Trailing off, he closed his mouth and sat perfectly still. The corners of his ears twitched once more, as they always did when tracking a faint sound.  
  
It's a mile or so north of here, a few minutes more.  
  
You said that half an hour ago.  
  
Remus thought his heart had stopped, or was pounding so madly that he could no longer feel it. A cold rush of realization washed over him, sending a wave of ice throughout his entire body. Shivering, he closed the light on his wand, and buried his belongings under a pile of upturned soil.  
  
They're attacking Hogwarts.' his mind said to him, over and over, never-ceasing as he ran with a stealthy silence. With a grace that seemed awkward and foreign for a human being, he crept through, darting in-between trees hypnotically, never once snapping a twig beneath his feet. I've got to warn the school.'  
  
  
  
Don't move.  
  
Obeying the harsh command, Remus stopped, and swallowed. His throat felt dry, unwilling to comply.  
  
What are you doing out here?  
  
Surely... Surely his sense was betraying him, it had to. Could it really...  
  
What are _you_ doing here? Remus asked in disbelief. Jesus, I never would have thought... I mean, I knew your brother, but-  
  
You have to go.  
  
Behind the mask, underneath the black hood, Remus knew who he was speaking to. It was the same scared voice he used to know, the same tone of wavering ideal.  
  
Why are you doing this? he asked quietly, letting his hands fall to his sides.  
  
The black figure stood still, his wand still outstretched. Remus knew there would be no spell cast against him so he put his own weapon away.  
  
You know this is wrong, I'm sure of it-  
  
You don't know me anymore, Remus. he interrupted, voice coarse and devoid of any true emotion. You just wouldn't understand.  
  
You're right, I probably wouldn't. I sure as hell don't know why you gave up hope, and let yourself fall to this.  
  
Shut up! he yelled, waving his wand sharply, a stream of faint green light issuing from the tip. Just shut up! You don't get it, alright?  
  
Remus nodded, his face set coldly. I'll never understand why anyone, especially someone like you, would just give in altogether. Where you so afraid of dying that you let yourself fall to this? Surely you don't agree with-  
  
Just go, before I kill you myself. They're going to attack the west entrance, so if you want to be spared, avoid it. came the stone reply.  
  
Behind the mask, Remus knew he was crying. It was a fact he knew as well as any.  
  
Are you going to keep running away from reality? he asked, taking a cautious step forward. Can you possibly hide it any longer? Or are you going to continue this lie?  
  
Shut up. the figure whispered, no longer the intimidating black Dark mage. Now he was only a lost soul, one Remus knew to lead.  
  
There's still time to fix it, you can still come back.  
  
They'll kill me, either side would readily take my life... Wouldn't think twice of it.  
  
I wouldn't. Remus said firmly, moving closer with each word. Soon enough, he was only inches in front, his hands resting on the shaking shoulders of his supposed enemy. We wouldn't, we still forgive. You know that, right? You know that there's always time to amend, and come back?  
  
Carefully, he lifted the mask up, and nodded. The face was laden with scars, wounds engraved over time, now burning from the salt of tears.  
  
Come on Alex, we'll go tell Dumbledore, and everything will be alright again. he suggested, waiting for his old friend to meet his gaze.  
  
Two lifeless eyes, flooded with misery and a myriad of regret, looked up. He seemed blind, unable to see anything clearly, the clouded pools gazing off into an unseen horizon.  
  
It's too late. he whispered, his voice cracked. Slowly, he raised his arm, pressing the wand into Remus' side. Go. They're coming.  
  
Alex, we're going together, now. he insisted, pulling at the colourless robes. I'm not le-  
  
Go! You have to warn the castle _now_, they're coming!  
  
Clutching his forearm, Alex turned around, and disappeared in a whirlwind of darkened mist.  
  
Shaking his head disappointedly, Remus started back for Hogwarts with a heavy heart.  
  
  
  
Louie's Listers. Remus whispered, the stone gargoyle jumping to life. He ran up the stairs, taking them three at a time and nearly tripping several times.  
  
Headmaster, sir, I need to speak with you! he yelled, pounding on the great oak door that led to Dumbledore's quarters.  
  
Coming, coming... What is- M. Lupin? he asked quizzically, adjusting his glasses to see if he wasn't dreaming. Is there a probl-  
  
There's a dozen or so Dark mages in the Forbidden Forest, sir, they're coming towards the school. he blurted out, barely containing himself. The west entrance is their target.  
  
Without asking how he knew such information, Dumbledore nodded, and brushed by.  
  
I'll take care of this, Mr. Lupin. he said, straightening his crooked night cap and broomstick pajamas. I'll have to ask you to remain here until I return.  
  
Silent, Remus watched the old wizard hurry down the spiral stairs, his eyes no longer glittering cheerfully behind his glasses. There was a cold rage Remus had not often seen.  
  
Alex... Why didn't you come with me? he asked out loud.  
  
  
  
  
Sir, this is an outrage!  
  
He was gone _again_! How can you just overlook how he's conveniently' absent every time there's something involving the Dark Arts?  
  
There's no way it's a coincidence Headmaster, he was out in the _Forbidden_ Forest at three in the morning, by himself.  
  
Dumbledore cleared his throat, staring at the small pack of upperclassmen gathered outside the entrance. There is to be no further discussion on this matter. Mr. Lupin has my full and unfaltering trust, I expect you to hold the same.  
  
But sir-  
  
Report back to your assigned locations, and take a head count again, if you will. he said firmly, indicating the conversation was over. Fuming, the pack of Prefects marched off, grumbling to themselves about traitors.  
  
Mr. Lupin, you do realise that this puts you in a rather tight situation. Dumbledore said sadly, turning to face him. His eyes still hadn't regained their sparkle, making him look far older than he was.  
  
Remus said, swallowing tightly. I don't care though, sir, I did what I had to do.  
  
But why exactly were you out there tonight? You could have been killed.  
  
There was obvious resent in his tired voice, a pain Remus didn't fully understand.  
  
I needed to find Hollowvine root. he explained, wishing he still had the Herebology book or journal to defend himself. You see, sir, I've been trying to find a cure, and I needed Hollowvine... I don't know if you'll believe me or not, sir, but I've had several leads on breaking the curse. Collecting the Hollowvine could only be done at night, when there was a lot of moonlight. Since I can't go out on full moons, I went tonight, so I could crush the root and use it later... Remus trailed off, unable to explain himself accurately. Dumbledore would surely think him a fool and a liar, at any rate.  
  
Surprisingly, he nodded. Though I can't agree with your timing, your objective was very noble. he said, trying to offer a smile that wouldn't seem empty. Though, unfortunately, that will not serve well as an excuse to the public.  
  
Either I tell them I'm a werewolf, or they assume I'm a Dark wizard. Remus sighed, hanging his head. I don't really have a choice.  
  
I'm afraid not. Dumbledore said gently, a silence following afterwards. eventually, he sat down at his desk, and leaned back in the great red chair.  
  
Am I correct in assuming that you met with one of the potential attackers?  
  
Cringing, Remus nodded. I don't think he was there by choice, Headmaster... I'm almost certain he was forced into joining with the Dark army.  
  
Now why would you say that?  
  
I know him. Or at least, I used to know him.  
  
  
  
Albus, are you in there?  
  
There was an impatient knock on the office door, followed by another shout from some agitated man.  
  
Dumbledore said with an apologetic sigh. You'll have to slip your way out, I rather suspect you don't want to be put under file with them for making the initial discovery.  
  
Shaking his head, Remus eased out of the chair, his body feeling like a block of lead. The incessant banging on the door mingled in with the throbbing in his head, the pulse that raced through his entire body, setting it alight with numbness.  
  
Mr. Lupin, are you feeling alright? Dumbledore asked, standing up in his chair. Remus looked quite ready to keel over, his knees shaking, his face white and expressionless.  
  
I'm fine.  
  
  
  
Mr. Lupin, are you in here?  
  
Looking up, Remus saw Madame Pomfrey standing in the portrait hole, peering around the room. Mr. Lupin?  
  
Avoiding the pack of Gryffindors that would not leave him alone, he pushed his way through the mass and answered the call.  
  
Oh, well, here's you medicine. I'm sorry that it took so long, dear. I should have sent you back to your dorm if I had known it would take all night to brew. she said, loud enough for everyone around the hear. I do hope you're feeling better. Find Professor McGonnagal to bring you down to my wing if you need anything, or if your symptoms worsen.  
  
The nurse winked once, and quickly left the busy Common Room.  
  
Oh... You really _were_ sick. a third year girl exclaimed, her face going red with embarrassment.  
  
I told you I wasn't lying. Remus muttered, trying to keep up the act. Dumbledore had obviously informed the nurse of what had happened, and sent her down to give him a plausible excuse for being out at night.  
  
Moony, you wouldn't go to the Infirmary if you were near dead. Sirius said with a short quirk. So what were you up to?  
  
He was out in the Forest last night. Peter said, keeping his voice down so no one else would catch their conversation. Went out with a book and-  
  
Look, don't worry about me. Remus interrupted, walking by. Nothing happened. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need some sleep.  
  
  
Remus sat down on the bed, welcoming it's comfortable give. Idly he sniffed the vile Madame Pomfrey had given him. Little tufts of smoke eddied upwards, making him tired on the spot.  
  
Can't hurt. he mumbled. Although he had long since sworn against Sleeping Droughts, he felt too weak to resist temptation just this once.  
  
The vile crashed on the floor, his hand dangling over the side of the bed as he collapsed awkwardly. A thin smile across his lips, and Remus Lupin entered another world, one in which he could relax at last.  
  
  
  
_Look mum, I don't even need my hands! Remus laughed, letting go of the bicycle handles. His mother, her pale and gentle face covered by the shadow of a large straw hat, clapped her hands at the display.  
  
Just don't fall now, Remus. she warned, smiling at her son lovingly.  
  
The little boy returned the grin, wobbling slightly as he tried to wave. A second later, he toppled to the ground, elbows scrapped on the pavement.  
  
Remus, I told you to be careful. the mother sighed, shaking her head as she stood up. Collecting the crying boy in her arms, she kissed his forehead, trying to soothe him.  
  
Come on Remus, don't cry. the older boy offered, stopping his own bike alongside of Remus. get back on and try it again, else you'll never get it perfect.  
  
Nodding, the seven year old climbed back on his shiny red bicycle, and gritted his teeth in determination.  
  
Again he fell, though this time, he awoke to a different sight. He was no longer four feet tall, and there were no red marks on his stubby elbows. Instead, he bore the white scars he hated so much.  
  
Daddy, you're drunk again!  
  
You don't know a damn thing ya little fool. Now move, and shut up.  
  
You're gonna hurt Remus! Daddy, stop it! the boy pleaded between sobs. There was a loud smack, and the door creased open. Romolus' crying grew louder.  
  
Daddy, stop. he begged, unable to yell after the impact. Please Daddy, don't hurt him. He didn't do anything.  
  
I said be quiet!  
  
Another smack.  
  
Curling up, helpless, Remus waited for his turn, knowing it was to come. It was the same every moon. Romolus would cry, Daddy would yell, and in the end it was always the same. Come morning, Remus would be covered with bruises that the wolf hadn't caused.  
  
Shutting his eyes, Remus let the world drift away.  
  
You killed him... You ruined my life, and now... And now you've killed him!  
  
_No, I swear I didn't. Stop this Rom, it wasn't-  
  
_You ruined everything! Wasn't it enough for you to take away my own life, spoil everything? Why did you have to kill him?  
  
_I didn't, I promise I didn't! Please, you have to understand!  
  
_You ruined everything!  
  
_Moony, Moony!  
  
I swear I didn't...  
  
Come on Remus, get up!  
  
There was a sharp slap across his face, the sting lingering for only a moment.  
  
Sirius, you dolt, you didn't need to do that! Peter scolded, frowning.  
  
Eyes opening, Remus groaned.  
  
How long have I been asleep?  
  
It's noon. James informed him, looking relieved. That Sleeping Drought was two doses, you prat, and you drank it all at once.  
  
Couldn't resist. Remus mumbled, sitting upright. His head felt heavy, clouded by old memories of betrayal.  
  
Bad dream or something? Sirius asked, going through his own trunk in search of candy. You were talking in your sleep for quite a while, I guess. We just got out of class, but one of the first years downstairs said the dorm was haunted.  
  
Why didn't you wake me up this morning?  
  
We tried, Peter said, grabbing a lemon drop from Sirius. but you wouldn't.  
  
We told McGonnagal you were ill, and she didn't pester us any over it. James assured.   
  
Sporting a genuine smile for once, Remus laid back down. He closed his eyes to block out the painful shock of light, and listened as his friends went into detail about earlier mishaps and student reactions to the near-attack.  
  
At least I did something right for this school, I sure as hell owe it one. he said to himself.   
  
  
**A/n- Slight problem with some of the addresses I have on my mailing list. If any of the below belong to you, or look close to it, contact me at Alyssa@infiniterpg.com  
  
  
skraku@swirve.com  
  
sasina_sasina@hotmail.com  
  
skylorns_lil_4sky_orli@hotmail.com  
  
vip0987@yahoo.com  
  
shadowstar@cliffhanger.com  
  
  
  
Thanks, and sorry for any problems that may have occurred to anyone.  
  
**Iggie  
  
  
  
**Fic of the Day (Returns!): Slipping Away by Moondoggy-** Depressed Sirius. Remus trying to cope... Suicidal themes oh my! A great angst story that never ceases to tickle my good-taste sensors. HIGHLY reccomended peice of writing.


	79. Part LXXIX Where The Heart Is

A/n- ::twitch:: That is my current mind-set. Just... :: twitch :: Some of you know what I mean, and the others... Go. Finish the book.  
  
:: twitch ::  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXXIX - Where The Heart Is  
  
  
  
  
Last Christmas here, you know. Peter said sadly, looking around Hogsmeade as if it was going to disappear if he turned away.  
  
We still have a month, almost. Stop being a sentimental prat. Sirius snapped, biting into his oversized candy cane. Besides, I can't wait for the holidays.  
  
I could. Remus said quietly, watching his feet as they shoved through the first snow of the season. Nowhere to go...  
  
Say something, Moony? Sirius asked, catching a hint of his mumble.  
  
Looking up at Zonko's, Remus smiled and shook his head. I'll race you. he offered, lowering himself into stance.  
  
With a wicked grin, the other three Marauders set up for what they knew would be a losing race, one that would inevitably result in a snowball fight.  
  
I'm sure gonna miss this when it's gone. Remus said, looking up at the sky in a silent thanks to God. But I'm glad to have found peace this long. Couldn't ask for more...  
  
  
  
So, Lupin, why didn't you?  
  
He was my classmate, a friend. Remus replied, knowing the question without it being stated. Though he also understood that his reason was a very weak response.  
  
Ms. Horder shook her head sadly, and looked directly at him.  
  
Why else?  
  
He didn't want to be there, I know that for truth. If he were a little braver, well... His family, you see, they're involved, and they would have killed him if he didn't join-  
  
she said, surprising Remus at being so casual. once this war officially erupts for you, when someone close is hit, you'll understand things differently. Until then, however, you're stuck in your own little existence. There's black and white, the enemy and the friend. That clarity will disappear, and you'll find yourself fighting friend and being allied with enemy for a cause you'll never see. Alex may not have wanted to be there, Remus, but he was. You can't change that; no one switches sides, at least not in those circumstances. Take them down or lose your life. If not, someone else will die in turn.  
  
Swallowing tightly, his throat not willing to comply. You knew, that it was...  
  
You're still a child, Remus. Ms. Horder said with an almost apologetic smile. As different as you are to the rest of those your age, you're still a child. And it is very easy to read children. I've known since I saw you at dinner, and when you walked down the hall and looked at me, it only confirmed. She sighed, and leaned back in her reclining desk chair, legs crossed on the desk in front of her. It's rather funny that you seek guidance from me, though. I'd have thought you would turn to someone else for help.  
  
How's that? You know me better than anyone else, besides my friends.  
  
Is that so? she asked, opening an eye to steal a quick glance. What makes you tick, Remus? Why are you here? For what purpose did God create you, and send you all your misblessings?  
  
Confused, Remus did nothing but look at the floor. Such a front question, almost randomly asked, he thought.  
  
You've tried to give up, I can see it, at some point you wanted to throw in the towel and call it off. she said, her voice quiet, though piercing in Remus' mind. Why didn't you, what caused you to stop yourself and push on for another difficult day?  
  
  
  
You don't have to answer that, not to me. she said, and pointed upwards, smiling. Tell that one to God, so you can hear it for yourself. I don't think you even know, yet.  
  
I don't. he muttered, feeling his face go red. Not most of the time, anyway...  
  
Look Remus, she said, interrupting his pensive thoughts. I like you.  
  
Remus went even more red, his entire face now the perfect match to the crimson Quidditch robes of his House.  
  
Not in any way that would threaten my career, mind you. she said hastily, laughing to herself. You have a sense of reality that few people, even ones much older than me, can ever hope for. You've a bright mind and strong loyalties, and friends that many would kill for.  
  
Her words struck his hart, sending a cold wave through it like a bullet.  
  
But I want you to remember something Remus, and never forget it.  
  
They held the other's stare for several seconds, connected at a level few teachers ever reached with a student.  
  
Never doubt yourself. You have the ability to do great things, if only you'll let yourself. Never hold yourself back, Remus, especially during times of war. Rise above the rest.  
  
Nodding in silence, Remus stood up, and turned to leave.  
  
Sometimes it's better not to stand out. Hiding in the shadows lets me stay away from people I could hurt.  
  
Is that your fear? Ms. Horder inquired, truly wondering what his greatest dread was.  
  
Possibly... I don't really know.  
  
Well, I'll just have to find a boggart sometime. Maybe then we can see who really is on our side, then. See what drives the students who walk these halls each day, writing the future for themselves.  
  
Remus walked off, his face set cold, not reflecting his state of mind. His thoughts were alive with fury, with rage, with compassion, and above all else, with concern.  
  
How long is our kind even going to last? he pondered out loud solemnly. _Is_ there even a future for us?  
  
  
  
I have no idea what to get anyone for Christmas. Peter complained, rolling over on his bed. Everyone's so distracted as of late, I can't really just go and ask them at random.  
  
Well, there goes my plan. Sirius said with a short snap of his fingers. Eh, I'll just get everyone candy. I'm yet to meet a single person who doesn't enjoy candy.  
  
Yes, well, some of us prefer a little more depth to giving gifts than that. Peter said in return, looking up at his friends upside-down for the sheer novelty of it. They had been confined to the castle for some time, and most everybody was becoming restless.  
  
James, something bothering you? Remus asked. It was unusual for him to be so quiet, especially when Sirius was picking on Peter as he was now.  
  
Shaking his head distantly, James continued to stare at his photo-album, a collection that he had been putting together for several years in secret.   
  
Sitting down on the other side of James' bed, Remus peered over and smiled.  
  
You have quite a few pictures of her. he noticed, watching the gorgeous redhead wave, James' head captured under her other arm playfully.  
  
Smiling, he shrugged. She likes being in pictures. he offered as a reason.  
  
So, what did you get her?  
  
  
  
Christmas, you know, the holiday that involves the birth of Christ and celebration and buying presents for people. Remus said with a short roll of his eyes.  
  
Oh, yeah...  
  
James, you're blushing like mad. he pointed out, happily teasing his friend. He tried once more. What did you get her?   
  
Uhm, you know, just... Something...  
  
Hey, Prongs, did you get her-  
  
Really, James, what did you get her? Remus interrupted persistently, ignoring Sirius' laughter.  
  
Still brimming with a red face, James mumbled something.  
  
  
  
I haven't picked it out yet... he said, slightly louder.  
  
Picked what out?  
  
James flicked his head over towards Sirius and Peter, who were sharing their thoughts on very rude suggestions for gifts, and looked down.  
  
Tell you later.  
  
  
  
Remus sat, quietly tapping his quill tip on the edge of his desk as Professor Binns rambled onwards about a treaty between two parties, neither which Remus cared for. Off to his left, James was writing something, furiously scratching out every other line as he went. Periodically he would crumple up the paper and it would turn into a small pile of ash by way of some forbidden charm.  
  
Wonder what he's writing.' Remus mused, trying to crane his neck enough to see. Sensing the intrusion, James turned another shade of scarlet, and shifted his elbow so as to block Remus' line of vision.  
  
Pity he can't hear me like Sirius, else I'd just pester him.' he thought to himself with an apologetic shrug to his friend.  
  
  
  
He easily caught the faint whisper, and turned.  
  
  
  
Can you come down to Hogsmeade with me tonight?  
  
Yeah, why?  
  
James turned back to the ghost, pretending to pay attention and take notes again.  
  
  
  
So what's been bothering you Prongs? You've bee acting really strange, I mean, even on Sirius-standards.  
  
His flushed cheeks stood a striking contrast to the cold, pale skin of his frowning face. In agitation, he wiped the condensation from his glasses, and swallowed.  
  
he decided at long last, thrusting a crumpled piece of paper into Remus' hand. Unfolding it, he almost laughed in astonishment.  
  
You're serious, aren't you? he realised, looking up and reading the warm yet determined eyes. He glanced back at the clumsily writen verse, and shook his head.  
  
Yes... I need your help though. he muttered, still embarrassed. Remus slung an arm around his old friend's shoulders, and smiled wide.  
  
If you're certain, I'd be honoured to help you out. he said, and James relaxed.   
  
Don't tell her, alright?  
  
I'd never. Besides, why would I ruin a chance to see you give her this? Oh, Lord, that'll be a sight! he joked, grinning. Leading James to the proper street, he stopped, and waited.  
  
Well... Here goes. James said, rubbing his frigid hands together expectantly. Remus offered a final encouraging smile, and shoved his friend inside the little candlelit shop.  
  
Now or never, right? he said, ruffling the snow out of his thick shag of hair.   
  
Ah, Mister Potter. Excellent to see you in good health, sir. For what do I owe the pleasure of your presence in my humble store? the old clerk asked, his blue eyes twinkling merrily. Perhaps a gift for your lovely girl? I've often seen the pair of you, strolling past. A beautiful find, good sir, eyes like the finest emeralds.  
  
James said to himself, nodding. Yes, they rather are. Though I say, Mr. Norm, she outshines them by far.  
  
Chuckling, the weathered man stepped behind one of the many glass cases, and pulled out a thin, black pallet.  
  
Anything you're interested in, good sir, do not hesitate to ask. he said, pulling out a huge ring of various keys. Is there anything in particular you're looking for? A necklace, or perhaps some of these fine earrings. Diamonds cut from the richest source, not a scratch on them.  
  
I... Uh...  
  
I think he fancies a ring, Mr. Norm. Remus said, voicing what his friend could not.  
  
Nodding, the man scurried to another display, grabbing the pallet as he went. Flipping through a few keys, he unlocked a sparkling cabinet, and removed several drawers, emptying careful selections onto the pallet.  
  
These lower-grade gold rings are very popular right now, a lad a year or so younger bought one just last week for his girlfriend. he offered, placing a display box of the rings on the display table. James shook his head, still incapable of finding the words.  
  
Pure gold, right James? Yes, Mr. Norm, I don't believe he's after anything other than your best.  
  
Naturally. Nothing less for a Potter, wouldn't do at all. the man said, cursing himself for thinking otherwise. Now, over here there's a fine selection of bands-  
  
James finally managed, his voice very strong now, not faltering in the slightest.   
  
  
  
I'm looking for your _very_ best, and I'd like it simple, but perfect.  
  
Prongs, here, look at these. Remus suggested, pointing him towards a display not in the immediate attention of the room. It was obviously the case for the more expensive and precious jewels, and it took the clerk a while to disarm the security wards.  
  
It's... It's perfect. James whispered, holding up one of the rings with a dreamy look in his eyes. Smiling, he eagerly showed Remus, beaming with pride for his find.  
  
Ah, a timeless piece, there's quite a story on that very ring, good sir. A decedent of Merlin himself offered that to his true love, and for generations it was told to bring nothing short of happiness. the old man said whimsically, caught up in the moment of fond tale.  
  
These though, Lily doesn't like diamonds. James said to himself.   
  
Remus leaned in, and whispered a small suggestion.  
  
Grinning, James nodded, and told the clerk what he wanted done.  
  
Brilliant, Prongs, absolutely brilliant. Remus praised, amazed at the clever modification to his own idea.   
  
Nothing but perfect will do. James informed the old clerk, who was quite tearful with memories of old.  
  
Of course, good sir. I say, though, this shan't come cheap I'm afraid.  
  
Nothing but perfect.  
  
  
  
Don't you look cheeky Potter...  
  
Can we do this some other time? James asked with a lightheaded look of pleasure. I'm really not in the mood for slandering right now.  
  
Such a pity, too. Snape said, looking at Remus. He snorted to himself, noticing how horribly battered Remus' robes and pants were.  
  
What'd you do, beast, wrestle with one of your own kind? I've seen better rags on a house-elf.  
  
And I've seen better personality from a flobber worm, mind you. Though your grease looks par_tic_ularly lustrous today, Severus, I must compliment you on that. Remus shot back with an airy smile. Idly, he tipped a pretend hat and bowed low.  
  
If you shan't mind us passing, my good repugnant Slytherin, we'll be on our way.  
  
James snickered as they went by, pleased to see Remus in a joshing mood again.  
  
That was rather good, Moony. I applaud you. he said, delighted at Snape's disgruntled look before he stormed off.  
  
Thank you. Remus returned with a flourished bow. Now, shall we go back and wrap that before you lose it?  
  
Er, I don't really want Sirius...  
  
Understanding, Remus nodded, and took the velvet black box from his friend.  
  
I'll hold on to it for you, until you're ready to give it to her.  
  
Bracingly, James nodded, and watched as Remus slipped his own fate into his pocket.  
  
I need help writing-  
  
Not my field, Prongs. Remus laughed hurriedly. Don't even bother trying with me, you're better off with the chase-and-hunt Sirius.  
  
he mumbled with a shrug.  
  
  
  
Shaking his head, Remus passed the register along without adding his signature to the extensive lot. It seemed most everyone was eager to be home for the holidays this year, as the list had included almost all of Gryffindor House.  
  
Reassuring themselves that their family is still there, don't you think? Sirius pondered with a long sigh. Half of these blokes will probably end up crying to sleep their first night, I'll reckon.  
  
Were are you headed for the break?  
  
My parents are off on business, so they tell me. I'm pitching in with James... And you? he asked hesitantly, knowing it was a touchy subject for Remus. Never having proper family or even a consistent home to run to, he was careful not to tread on painful ground.  
  
Since Caleb really doesn't want me back at the Underground, He said his bit softly, so no one would overhear. With the commotion in the common room, however, it was an unnecessary precaution. I figured it's about time I see my brother.  
  
There was no anger foudn in his voice now, and Sirius figured Remus had accepted the logic of why he was banned. Romolus, however, little had been said of him in a long while.  
  
Going to try and mend things with him? Sirius question, shutting his eyes.   
  
Everyone looked tired, Remus thought, and the early signs of weariness had even reached the Marauders.  
  
Do I have a choice?  
  
There's _always_ an open room for you at James'- he began.  
  
He's my only kin. Remus explained, his cheeks tinting red. Whether or not, you know, all past aside... If I can't forgive him now I'll lose all I've got.  
  
Blood doesn't mean family. Sirius mused, the wise tone very uncharacteristic to him. Just because you were born to certain people doesn't mean they're family, I think. With the war going on, I see a lot of people shifting their loyalty.  
  
Eyebrows raised, Remus frowned. He had never noticed how pensive his reckless friend could be. Obviously, there was an unknown side to the prankster.  
  
Some of the Hufflepuffs broke off friendships, depending on their sides to the war front. Dottie Cosin, the Ravenclaw you tied O.W.L.'s for, she doesn't speak to her parents anymore. Stays with friends over the holidays... He stopped, opened his eyes and flushed slightly. What I'm saying, Moony, is that you aren't entitled to be family' just because of relation. Prongs and Wormtail and me, we'll always be your family, you know... Here for ya'.  
  
Nodding, unknowing how to respond, Remus smiled. He had a place in the world, somewhere. It could take his life to find, though at that moment, he would readily pay any price to know he fit in.  
  
Here for me, unconditionally.' he thought. With an air of supreme contentment, he too closed his eyes, and let the loving warmth of the fire overwhelm him.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Yes, I', still recovering from shock. HP5... My less than parentally father scrapped a copy for me when he was out on vacation (in which I wasn't invited) and express-mailed it home. Didn't sleep, devoured the poor book. This chapter was written before, and in the wake of finishing what I've waited three years for, well... I needed to do something. I haven't recovered yet, as some of you may know the feeling. Everyone else, WHAT in the name of everything wonderful are you DOING? GO!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
:: twitch ::  
  
**Iggie, who is so mentally distraught she cannot think right-off  
  
  
  
  
**chinnibun: Megatokyo rules. w00t!**


	80. Part LXXX Scarlet River

A/n- Can you believe it? 80 chapters... I'd better watch out or this may get longer than the Draco Sinister series itself.  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXXX - Scarlet River  
  
  
  
  
  
Unbearable.  
  
He hadn't needed the reminders, the short whispers and a broken letter from his brother. He knew well in advance.  
  
Had he any sane thoughts left, he would complain about the inconvenience, how the full moon wished to appear right before his break. And it returned with a vengeance, it seemed.  
  
Curled up much like an animal or injured child, Remus Lupin lay on the splintered wood of the Shrieking Shack. His arms were entangled together, and his shaking legs were puled up to his chest. Almost as if he were unfamiliar to the habit of breathing, he took in a strangled gasp of air on an irregular basis.   
  
Obviously, something was wrong.  
  
The moons were never this despicable, not even seasonal moons or the rare occurrences with celestial interference.  
  
No, this was decidedly worse than before.  
  
It would be several hours before he would transform, he realised, as another wave of pain washed through his searing body. The affects of the moon had come early, much too early, and Sirius had enough sense to rush him down before detention.  
  
Oh, how he wished they hadn't been so keen to hassle Snape, and in front of McGonnagal.  
  
No, he would spend this night alone, there would be no comfort for him. His head exploded again with that thought, his final thought, as a thousand rooms of grotesque instincts burst open.  
  
The human portion of Remus Lupin was locked away, now replaced by something savage, something unholy. Inwardly he screamed, wanting to drive away the new thoughts of madness, the disgusting urges of the wolf that engulfed his mind. But there was only a hollow silence, and the ragged intake of his own lungs upon period.  
  
For a tortured night, he almost wished his body would just give up.  
  
No!' he shouted, again and again. Before tonight there had been a system; for _years_ there had been! Quietly he would drift off, his sanity locked away into its own private quarters. He would endure the short suffering of the transformation, and then there would be the nothingness.  
  
No, something was wrong tonight, terribly wrong. Even the wolf knew this. It released solemn gurgling noises, inhuman yet foreign to the ears of beasts.  
  
His skin peeled away, each layer breaking leisurely, unlike the swiftness of before. All too slowly the fur appeared, edging up his forearm and legs, but then it stopped.  
  
The searing pain was all too present, but the wolf faded. Remus Lupin again had to endure the overwhelming pain, though he had never been aware like this before.  
  
Someone... Someone help. he pleaded, sobbing dryly. The air wouldn't come, and his chest heaved in drought, begging for release.  
  
Someone, anyone. he spluttered, his head brimming with numbness, deft ringing that railed through his being.  
  
In a pathetic attempt he struggled to the door, only to collapse in a heap, whimpering and unable to go any further.  
  
Prongs, Padfoot, Wormtail... Someone, please.  
  
A trail of blood leaked into his hazel eyes, though he could not feel from where it came. Blinking once, he gazed up at the blurring ceiling, and closed his eyes.  
  
Please, someone, come down here.' he thought dizzily, his awareness fading away again as he felt his tail coming forth. Anyone.'  
  
  
  
Moony! Moony!  
  
Sirius, stop yelling! Peter whined, furiously trying to silence him. If we get caught-  
  
Is that all you care about? Sirius snapped, turning on the smaller boy. I for one am more concerned about Remus, and his absence!  
  
Padfoot, calm down a little. James muttered. We just got out of a nine-hour detention with Filch, I'm none too keen about getting caught either. Let's just find Remus quickly, and find out why he wasn't in the Shack this... Morning...  
  
He trailed off, brown eyes going wide behind the fogged spectacles.  
  
he shouted, his voice cracking as he staggered backwards.  
  
Sirius, who had been glaring at Peter (and the same went for the glowing coward) looked dumbly at his friend.  
  
  
  
_RUN! Transform and RUN!_ he bellowed, and in one graceful sweep, he transfigured himself into the stag mid-step. No sooner had he said this, Peter had followed suit without question, scurrying off to catch the great beast in flight.  
  
But what's- Sirius gapped, blinking in confusion.   
  
A second too long he waited, and he now found himself knocked to the ground, the very breath forced out of him.  
  
One. Then another.  
  
He opened his eyes, and found the source of the two drips of liquid he had felt on his face. A frantic wolf bore down on him, its fangs dripping with blood.  
  
H-Hello Moony. he whispered, afraid to move an inch. He slowly took in a breath, quite a challenge with the wolf's weight bearing down on him, its paws...  
  
No, they were hands, almost. And there was a peculiar flatness to the face, the snout seemed different. And the eyes had retained some of their human features.  
  
Moony, ol' mate, you in there? he asked.  
  
The wolf growled, a throaty noise that seemed to be mingled with a fractured word. The blend made it impossible for Sirius to interpret it as either language he knew.  
  
C'mon Moony...  
  
Slowly, to show his defense, he put both his arms up (though one was holding his wand, tucked into his sleeve). He rubbed his head where it had impacted with the ground, and felt a trickle of something sticky.  
  
You should rightly be changed back by now, shouldn't you? he asked, inching backwards. The wolf, who seemed to be fighting some internal battle, took a very ungraceful step backwards, his mixture of paws and legs   
tangled together. Again he released a painful noise, blood gurgling in his throat and dripping out.  
  
"Dammit, you're hurt!" Sirius realised, taking an instinctive move forward. The wolf  
seemed to regain control, and growled promptly.  
  
"I'm only trying to help, Remus. Let me take you over to Hagrid, maybe? I don't think Madame Pomfrey can do you much good while you're like this." he barked out, wishing he could do more than just plead with an injured friend.  
Slowly, all too slowly, the wolf lowered it's head, sinking it down to rest on it's partially human paws.  
  
"I have to call the other's back." he informed. Wearily, Sirius thought, the wolf produced the closest thing to a nod he had ever seen from an animal.  
  
"It'll be alright. Just wait, you'll see. Nothing's wrong."  
  
  
  
"HAGRID!"  
  
"Blimey, what's all tha' commotion about ou' there?"  
  
"HAGRID! Open up Hagrid, please! This is an emergency!" Sirius bellowed, ramming his shoulder into the door. He didn't have a free hand, as it took all his coordination just to hold the heavy dog.  
  
"Fang, ge' down Fang!" he heard the half-giant snap, while there was a distinctive growling from inside the cabin.  
  
"Now, wha's all this ruckus- Sirius Black, what have you been doin' in the Forbidden Forest?" he roared upon seeing the beast. "Ye gonna get yerself killed if ye go 'round pluckin..."  
  
"Hagrid... This isn't one of the wolves." Sirius said quietly, pushing his way into the cabin. Fang growled even louder, and the great boar hound attempted to bite at Remus. Hagrid grabbed him by his collar, and hoisted him outside the door.  
  
"Remus wasn't in the Shrieking Shack, you see, so we went looking for him. And James found him out in the wood, he hasn't turned back yet and the sun's been up for hours!" he said very quickly.  
  
Blinking, Hagrid took a seat.  
  
"Well, I knew tha' Remus was a werewolf, but I never... I never seen this before, Sirius. Unnatural, you know, with the moon bein' down an' all."  
  
"Can you do something?" Sirius asked, setting his friend down on the cleared table. In proper light, he could see that it was worse than he had thought. Bits of human flesh had emerged, patches of skin scattered about his body. His paws were definitely trying to change back to hands, as the fur had retreated and the fangs had started to come in. And... His eyes, they looked far too strange on a dog like that.  
  
"Well, Sirius, dunno what to tell ya... I think it'd be best if ye take him along up ta Poppy, seein' as she's the-"  
  
"I can't just take a half-wolf up to the nurse! Someone will see!" he pointed out, looking around. James and Peter hadn't answered his call.  
  
"Oh, I dunno 'bout that! Most o' the students will be gettin' their things together, ta leave, ya know."  
  
"Padfoot, are you in there?"  
  
"Sick, Fang, geroff!"  
  
Relieved, Sirius immediately opened the cabin door, and hustled his friends inside.  
  
"Something's wrong with Remus." he said, motioning to the animal sprawled on Hagrid's dinner table.  
  
"We know, we went and told Lily-"  
  
"You did what?"  
  
"She's smarter than we are, alright? She went down to the dungeons, II think she needed to have something brewed before she came up here or something-" James continued.  
  
"Going to tell the whole bloody school?"  
  
"She might know a way to fix it! She didn't seemed surprised when I told her Moony hadn't changed back!" James said loudly over the constant interruptions.  
  
Sirius, falling silent for a moment, looked over at Hagrid.  
  
"Isn't there anything we can do to help him?" The wolf that was once Remus Lupin let out a small whimper, and tried to curl itself up even more, its body convulsing.  
  
"'Fraid not, Sirius."  
  
  
  
"Where... What's going on?"  
  
"Return home, and you shall face your reward."  
  
"I don't have a home!" Remus yelled out, wishing he could see in all the darkness, or find where the odd voice was calling from.  
  
"Your master awaits your return, come now and find the peace you wish for."  
  
"What..." He trailed off, feeling himself collapse. his head hurt, throbbing, pounding out the sound. Only the chanted phrase broke through.  
  
"Return, return home, your master awaits your return."  
  
  
  
"Remus! Wake UP!"  
  
Dismally, the three Marauders gave up on yelling, as all it had accomplished was giving them all their own headaches to worry about. Hagrid had left several minutes ago, to see if Dumbledore knew of any similar situation happening before.  
  
"Yes, because Hogwarts has so many werewolves running about." Peter had mumbled, feeling it a forlorn attempt.  
  
"What the hell is HE doing here?" James barked, almost wanting to knock the boy out before he explained.  
  
"Your little girlfriend sent me down here, saying I would be able to fix something." SNape said calmly, though looking very displeased at the outburst. Managing to catch a glimpse of the table, he perked up.  
  
"Seems your beast hasn't recovered." he said with a smirk. James grabbed him by his robes, and held him up off the ground several feet.  
  
"You filthy little slime-haired bastard of a-"  
  
"James Potter, you let him down this instant!"  
  
Paling, the Gryffindor complied as Lily Evans made her way through the heavy snow.  
  
"He can help Remus, and I'  
m sure you want that, correct?"  
  
"Of course, but-"  
  
"Go outside." She pointed, and after a grim shake of his head, James left the cabin.  
  
"I'm sorry he's a twit," Lily said, turning to a very pleased Snape. "but will you help?"  
  
"If they'll leave." he declared, motioning for Peter and Sirius.  
  
"I'm-"  
  
"Sirius, please." Lily asked, frowning and giving him an impossible look to resist.  
  
Flustered, he shook his head, mouth hanging open. A second later Peter had dragged him out of the cabin, complaining about futile women and their stares.  
  
"What's wrong with him, though? You never explained." Lily whispered. Outside, all three Marauders had their ears pressed against the door hopefully.  
  
"He's being Called."  
  
"Called?"  
  
"By the rightful controller of his kind. All those with the curse are bound to be trapped like this until they answer."  
  
"Answer... Answer what?" Lily asked, eyes concerned as she looked over Remus, or what she knew to be him in another form.  
  
Sighing, as if Lily were asking foolish questions, Snape bent over the wolf.  
  
"He is a Dark creature; the very blood of those who defile our world ruin through his veins. His kind is sought after by both sides. One to kill, and one to recruit."  
  
"You mean..." Green eyes wide, Lily put a hand over her quivering lips.  
  
"The Dark One wishes to call his creatures into service." Snape said simply. "A very opportune time, you see, with everyone going for holidays the departing werewolves would not be noticed. The Ministry would have a hard time catching any during this season... Yes, he is most definitely under the affects of the Call."  
  
"How does-"  
  
"Sh!"  
  
"But how does he kn-"  
  
"Be quiet!" they hissed, trying to shut each other up outside the door.  
  
"Can you help him?" Lily asked, looking almost tearful.  
  
Without answering, Snape took off his cloak, and rolled up his left sleeve.  
  
"Say nothing." he warned to Lily, though he knew she would never tell. It was commonplace for her to see such things.  
  
Methodically, he touched his right hand to the mark, closing his black eyes as he did so.  
  
What's he doing to Moony? James growled, peering through the keyhole on the door. Sirius shoved him out of the way, and soon Peter as well.  
  
Dunno, be quiet! James snapped, shoving the two away so he could get a better view.  
  
  
  
_Remus, why are you waiting?  
  
  
  
Come on Remus, he's calling. it's time to go join him.  
  
Why... Caleb, why are you-  
  
Don't you see? He can end the suffering for us.  
  
We're treated as equals.  
  
What are you doing here Rhint? It's dangerous, these are Dark wizards!  
  
You don't understand Remus, we're treated perfect! They don't hate us, we're _better_ than some of them! With Master, we can be better than those who betrayed us.  
  
Rhint, please, you don't get it. These people are only using you, and you too Caleb, they just want you to betray Dumbledore-  
  
What's he ever done for us?  
  
Rhint, Caleb, PLEASE! These aren't the kind of people you should side-  
  
Time to come back now, beast. Your prat friends are straining my self-control as it is. I suggest you wake up.  
  
  
_  
Slowly, he opened his unswollen eye, and the light shot through his mind.  
  
Don't go with them... He's not your master. he muttered weakly, the two Slytherins appearing to him as his fellows.   
  
Well, seems the dirty blooded beast can at least see what I couldn't. Snape whispered, and for a moment, Lily heard shame in his voice.  
  
Should we take him up to the school? He looks awful. she said quietly as the Marauders burst into the room.  
  
He should live. Snape said with an air of displeasure, stepping out of the grimy cabin as if it was going to kill him soon enough.  
  
Hey Snape!  
  
With no response, Peter chased after him.  
  
Thank you. he offered, smiling.  
  
Snape did not turn around, nor did he show any recognition for some time.  
  
For what? I was never here. he said distantly, and departed for the castle, still clutching his forearm.  
  
  
  
If you need anything, we're in the dorm. James said, clicking the door shut as he left.  
  
Nodding far too late for it to be seen, Remus slid out of the many layers of robes the nurse had piled him with, tossing each on the floor in a large heap. Standing in just his boxers and white shirt, he saw, for the first time, the full extent of his misfortunate transformation.  
  
The tall mirror on the Gryffindor boy's bathroom wall allowed him a view of himself, a sight he nearly cringed at. Before, there were faint tracings of old scratch marks, many that would fade after time, a scarce few that remained. he was almost certain that the new gashes would forever be a reminder of the Dark Lord's influence over his kind.  
  
Wincing, he tugged at the stubborn end of a white bandage, slowly uncoiling it from around his torso and right shoulder.  
  
Straight across his back, five parallel lines ran down, and he could not even see their end from the view he had. Another similar gash, though not as deep, ran across his chest and right forearm.  
  
I could have killed myself. he said quietly, using his voice for the first time. He was not afraid to be heard, since all of Gryffindor had went home for the holidays. No one seemed eager to stay after another wave of attacks had been announced in the _Daily Prophet_.  
  
Blinking in confused silence, he looked down, cringing at the river of scars that covered his stomach. They were simple to see through the shirt, as it was now staining red with the barrier removed. His legs proved no different.  
  
Lips pursed in pain, he set his crutch against the wall, limping unsteadily towards his own shower. Immediately he grabbed hold of the special golden knobs that had been installed just for him.  
  
he muttered, trying to fight the sickening desire to keel over. I wont.  
  
He let out a small whimper as the water turned on, pounding down onto his wounds like stones.  
  
Don't be weak. he ordered himself, and though he wouldn't admit it, he could still feel the wolf present in his thoughts. You have to go see if the Underground is alright. Don't be weak.  
  
He repeated this to himself over and over, staring at the red dripping down the drain. His bandages loosened, and soon joined the scarlet river, slipping to the bottom of the stall.  
  
Just fight it. he whispered, eyes shut tight with pain. Oh, how every cleave of skin burned!  
  
Stand back up again, and fight it. he told himself, opening his eyes to watch the water flow, watching the dirty blood flow free from himself.  
  
I'll start again. he promised, and with shaking legs, forced himself upright.  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Yeah, a weird chapter... I wrote this on my not-so-great vacation, so pardon the total oddity of it all.  
  
:-)  
  
**Iggie  
  
  
  
**Explanations:** Inevitably, someone is going to be confused. So I'll answer any questions before they're voiced.  
  
**On Remus' mis-transformation**- Voldemort controls all the Dark creatures (lycanthropy is a Dark curse, remember, even if it wasn't necessarily created by Dark wizards). Therefor, he can lengthen the transformation effects to his liking. More on this will be explained later.  
  
**On Sequel'**- Well, it seems some people haven't figured it out. THERE WILL BE _NO_ SEQUEL. Is that clear enough? I'm sorry, but Seeing Grey is not going to become a series on Lupin's life.  
  
**On Me Writing Really Fast**- Yes, people have wondered how. I always post within a day of completing a chapter, so naturally one would think something's wrong with me. Nah, I just write really fast. It's that simple!


	81. Part LXXXI Whiplash

A/n- Pardon any errors in this chapter by way of spelling, I was in a rush to get it up so it wasn't edited properly. Hope it doesn't distract from whatever joy you find in reading this.  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXXXI - Whiplash  
  
  
  
  
Figures, no guard to stop me. he said under his breath, pulling his sleeves down so he could push through the silver gate.  
  
And odd silence hung over the narrow passage, and even for early morning he felt it was far too dark outside.  
  
Lupin's back.  
  
Did you see, he returned!  
  
He must have joined...  
  
Maybe it didn't-  
  
Look how he walks, lad, no doubt he resisted.  
  
Ignoring the scattered whispers as he entered, Remus struggled along towards Caleb's home, one he found to be vacant.  
  
Where's Caleb Simmers? he called out loud, looking hopefully to some of the bystanders he didn't know by name. They turned away, retreating back to their quiet homes.  
  
  
  
Melhane came out from the hut next door, frowning deeply as she cradled a crying baby she was obviously caring for. Remus, he isn't here. I think he went to find you.  
  
  
  
You aren't supposed to be here, Remus. And... Well, one of us had a Vision, and...  
  
he asked impatiently, sitting down on the step. He was almost sure the young girl had heard how his body creaked, and he went red.  
  
She Saw you defect. To the Dark One. Her eyes dropped, as if she was afraid he had turned, though no one wanted to believe it.  
  
I didn't.  
  
She smiled, her eyes wide. Then... Then how are you, I mean, most of us almost _died_ until someone turned-  
  
  
  
I can't tell you everything, Caleb forbid me to. None of us really know what happened the other night, except Caleb, and he took a few people out to track you dow-  
  
I know what happened... I had a Death Eater coax me out of the spell.  
  
Not bothering to explain, Remus took whiff of the scent trail, and with his senses heightened, set off again.  
  
  
  
Interesting that you would look here for me. Remus said quietly, stepping out of the shadow the porch cast over him. Looking thoroughly relieved, Caleb took an uncharacteristic show of emotion, and embraced his friend.  
  
Thought you might have died, we lost two when they tried to resist.  
  
Yes, before we start that, would you care to explain how _you_ lot managed?  
  
Caleb lowered his eyes, and took a seat on the cold, icy steps. A small troop of about five men and women behind him conjured themselves chairs or simply sat in the snow.  
  
We know, between the hundreds of accounts, that the other night was an attempt to call all of us into the Dark One's army. Because of the Dark magic in our curse, we have a link with him, it seems. He altered our transformation and invaded our human minds while we were separated, when the wolf takes control.  
  
Remus nodded, knowing all of this anyway. The group behind him shifted uneasily, looking to each other in surprise. Apparently, he hadn't informed his pack.  
  
Those of us who had better control when we transformed were able to meet' with those contacting us. Every person reported the same figure coaxing them to join. Eventually, a few of us managed to force ourselves out of the transformation. At around seven, I woke up, and realised the Dark One wasn't going to take no for an answer.  
  
Melhane said somebody joined his ranks. Remus said quietly, looking out. Rhint was in the small search team, staring at him carefully.  
  
Garade offered himself, the damn fool. Saved us all though... Once he agreed to go, he disappeared, and the rest of the Underground snapped back. Caleb said, looking almost ashamed that he had lost someone. How did you survive? I figured that you wouldn't turn, but...  
  
They thought he had betrayed them, Remus reasoned. They weren't out to rescue him; they were out to kill him. Rhint's expression confirmed this, as she tore herself away, nearly crying.  
  
There's a Death Eater I know at Hogwarts, though he's an unusual case. A friend was able to enlist his services... He was able to bring me back.  
  
So, you didn't...  
  
You doubt me? Remus asked coldly, his eyes saddened. Surely, how could they even consider that he would betray? Of course I didn't, I wouldn't join them... Well, not even if my life depended upon it. And it did, so it seems.  
  
Grinning apologetically, Caleb nodded, overwhelmed.  
  
Good... Good. Dammit, I was worried, when we heard of the Vision-  
  
Visions lie. he said shortly, trying to smile at Rhint. For whatever reason, she wouldn't look him in the eye.  
  
What the hell is all the noise out here? I told you, I don't want to be caroled again, ti's getting a little- Remus? Jesus Christ, Caleb... What's going on?  
  
Hi Rom. Remus said simply, turning to greet his brother. Sorry, I guess we rather invaded your doorstep. Hope you don't mind, but a few of my friends came looking for me here.  
  
Rolling his eyes, Remus opened his door, and waved a hand.  
  
Might as well come inside, it's freezing out. he grumbled, looking very much like a fairy tale Scrooge with his lopsided Santa's hat and Christmas print pajamas mixed with such a frown.  
  
Welcome to the Lupin household, in all it's glory. he added grimly shoving aside a rumpled pile of dirty laundry. He wrongly assumed the lot would think him a slob, and a poor one at that, but he forgot that they owned little more than cracked wooden cabins.  
  
I suppose there's a lot to be explained tonight. Remus mused, looking from his tired brother to the equally exhausted congregation of unhealthy werewolves.  
  
  
  
H-Hello, Remus.  
  
Smiling, Remus nodded a greeting. How have you and Romolus been lately?  
  
She looked decidedly nervous, and held onto her husband's hand a little tighter. We're good, you know... Starting over.  
  
A loud crash rang off from another room, and Shelly shifted in irritation.  
  
You'd better go cook them something before that kitchen explodes, love. Romolus suggested. And besides, you always say we should have company over more often.  
  
The disgruntled housewife left the sitting room, mumbling rude things about uninvited idiots.  
  
Sorry about them, you know, we can't help but get crazy at the smell of uncooked meat. Remus said, feeling distraught under his brother's stare.  
  
Wringing his hands together, Romolus looked down.  
  
Remus, I'm-  
  
Nothing needs to be said. he interrupted sharply. What's done is done, and I'm willing to set it aside. I don't think either of us are going to benefit unless we forget the past.  
  
For some reason, Romolus broke into a toothy grin, his childish features surfacing from shadowed depths.  
  
You, my dear little brother, are in love.  
  
  
  
Flustering, Remus forced himself to look down, fighting the urge to blush.  
  
Romolus hit his leg, and laughed enthusiastically. I knew it! Oh, this is priceless! Since when, and _who_? Damn, little brother, how could I miss this? He looked almost saddened at missing such an event, but he continued laughing nonetheless.  
  
Let me guess... Surely it isn't anyone from Hogwarts, I know you better than that, at least I think. No, you'd be afraid to hurt her. So it has to be- Someone from the Underground, then, right? I knew it!  
  
Rom, please! They're going to hear you-  
  
I'm such a fool for not knowing, I deserve it though, what I did... But oh, Moony, you _have_ to tell me! I need to meet this girl. I mean, to catch _your_ attention she must be something else-  
  
He glanced nervously to the kitchen archway, hoping no one had overheard the conversation or whoops of laughter. If Rhint came investigating... He shrunk into his seat at the thought of it.  
  
It's rightly about time you found yourself a girl. By the time I was seventeen, hell I'd-  
  
  
  
Delighted to have annoyed his brother so much, Romolus broke out laughing again, unable to gain his composure. Really, what's her name? Do I know her at all, even? Don't go hiding your first love form me now, that's just too cruel.  
  
Much to Remus' horror, three of Caleb's pack peered around the corner to investigate the reason for all the noise. That in itself didn't bother Remus, but the fact that Rhint was with them made him hunch as low as he could get, his face turning a brilliant shade of scarlet,  
  
It's _her_! Romolus realised, booming again. Priceless, simply priceless!  
  
Er, Remus, what's he ranting about? Rhint asked quietly stepping closer. She had an eyebrow raised now, wondering why her friend was so red.  
  
Rhint, this is my brother Romolus... Rom, this is Rhint. he said in a cracked voice, hanging his head down and running his hands through his messy hair.  
  
God have grace and let me wake up from this.' he prayed silently.  
  
  
  
Where's Moony?  
  
Dammit, he brings a lot of company with him nowadays... Used to be a loner, whatever happened to that? Romolus asked dully, sipping his eggnog. I suppose he's up snogging his girlfriend, since there's food present and he isn't.  
  
James and Sirius looked at each other wide-eyed, and shared the same thought.  
  
Jesus, there's a feast of red meat in plain view... He must be shagging or something to miss this! Sirius laughed, letting himself into Romolus' home without any regard for manners. james, showing an ounce of civility, shook the eldest Lupin's hand and called a Merry Christmas!' before he followed up the stairs.  
  
Sh, be quiet! I want to hear!  
  
They pressed up against the door they knew Remus to be behind, and crouched down low.  
  
Don't hear anything.  
  
Maybe they're- No, I hear footsteps!  
  
Do you think he's-  
  
Right behind you?  
  
They turned around in unison, sporting the same guilty grin.  
  
Moony, good to see you!  
  
Funny I should find you uninvited in my brother's home during Christmas break... Aren't you supposed to be living the good life at your mansion? he asked James, straightening his robes. And how did you find me here, anyway?  
  
Well, they wouldn't let us in at the Underground, and I figured you're beyond street-sleeping, so me and James did a little digging.  
  
I don't fund half the Ministry for nothing, you know. James said proudly.  
  
Remus mumbled, looking over their shoulders quickly. Does my brother know you're here?  
  
Yeah, why?  
  
Ten people form the Underground tracked me here as well, so I have no idea where you two are going to sleep. Rom's wife is already a little testy as it is.  
  
Frowning slightly, James sighed. I was hoping you would come join us back at my place for a few days.  
  
But if you're too busy with your girlfriend, I'm sure we could reschedule. Sirius said with a smirk.  
  
Glaring maliciously to get his point across, Remus didn't respond to that particular comment. Turning to james, he continued. I need to be here for a while, stay with Romolus and patch up what can be salvaged of our old relationship. I figure if he drinks enough eggnog he'll forgive me, though I don't know what I can do for myself.  
  
Well, I can't really help your dysfunctional family, but I can bring good news that the _Prophet_ will never tell. Sirius said, smiling in a way reminiscent of Slytherin-bashing at a Quidditch match. You know that werewolf resettlement place off the coast of Plymouth?  
  
Scowling madly, Remus swore. More like a slave factory-  
  
Yes, all fine and dandy, but Moony, they escaped! Sirius finished, looking far too excited.  
  
  
  
This morning, we heard it over James' Intelligence Spy Receiver. It's this wicked little Muggle radio that was charmed to pick up on government hearings and-  
  
Get on with the escape, I don't care about a rudy radio!  
  
About a hundred of them, managed to escape the guards- He paused, deliberating whether or not to tell of the casualties, but purged ahead. The Ministry's in a right fit over this, and I reckon they wont be able to do anything about it.  
  
With the war going on, they don't have anyone to spare tracking a few escaped werewolves. James added.  
  
More animated than he had been in weeks, Remus could barely contain bouncing in place. His eyes twinkled with a fire rekindled, and he broke into a genuine smile.  
  
Does Caleb know?  
  
I figured I'd let you have first grabs at starting the inevitable rescue operation. Sirius declared, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. Since I helped push this little movement along, can I, perchance, grab myself a position of, oh, command?  
  
James rolled his eyes, and shrugged to Remus. He's damn jealous over all your illegal adventures. For a few months now he's been plotting some way to get himself involved in one.  
  
Moony, you _have_ to let me come! Sirius pleaded, looking like a begging five year old on Christmas Eve.   
  
Sirius, this isn't some little romp around the dungeons with Dungbombs. Remus began, his excitement faltering slightly. I've almost been killed more times than I care to recall, and I usually ended up home only because of the curse's side-affects. No offense to your immense mischeif-wreaking prowess, Padfoot, but you'd be dead before you could even think of something nasty to say to the enemy.  
  
Frowning in a manner not often directed to a fellow Marauder, Sirius took a step forward.   
  
I fully intend to be an Auror once I graduate. That's only a few months from now! I can handle one or two Ministry lackeys.  
  
It's not the Ministry lackeys I'm concerned about. Remus snorted. Remember Rhint and her tendency to pull out weapons in your presence? I don't think you'd help soothe the angry souls of a hundred oppressed escaped prisoners.  
  
Er, he has a point there Padfoot. James interjected, shrugging minutely.  
  
Come on! Sirius yelled, his face twisted as if he had been insulted to the greatest extreme. I'm not going to screw anything up! This isn't fair at all!  
  
Slowly, piece by piece, he remembered a previous conversation with Remus having shouted the same very words. Unable to defend himself from the retort he knew was coming, Sirius stormed off, taking the stairs by two and slamming the front door behind him.  
  
Well... Er, Remus, which room are you sleeping in? James asked, curtly changing the subject to end the awkward aftermath of an argument.  
  
Pointing to the door directly behind them, Remus raised an eyebrow in question. The guest room, why?  
  
Oh, nothing. James said with a perky smile. Just wondering why your unrequited girlfriend is asleep in there.  
  
Fumbling and blushing red, Remus started to snap that she wasn't his girlfriend, but turned around to peer through the open door. True to word, Rhint had curled herself up on his bed, strangling his pillow in her sleep.  
  
Must be dreaming of Sirius. James laughed, craning his neck to see over Remus. Ah, delightful. Isn't that one of the Quidditch shirts Peter bought for you last year for your birthday?  
  
Going even more red, and wondering how she had gotten hold of it, he simply nodded.  
  
Does wonders for her, you know.  
  
If it weren't so close to Christmas, I would suggest you run full-speed.  
  
Well, I'll be sure to include in my prayers tonight something like Thank you Jesus for being born conveniently close to today.' He stood there for a moment, laughing inwardly, though he could not hide his outward smile. I'm gonna go snap some sense into Sirius before he flips out about this. You're right about it, just so you don't feel bad.  
  
I wouldn't have. Remus said shortly.  
  
Yeah, well... In case you're delayed by anything, Merry Christmas, Moony.  
  
You too...  
  
James quickly followed out the front door, leaving a very tired werewolf to go spread the news of release.  
  
  
  
Shouldn't we go back to town and get a few more? Ammen, a middle-aged man that had been with the Underground since it's feeble beginnings, asked quietly.  
  
You were the only ones fit enough to travel, and put up a potential fight- sorry Remus, precaution, you know- so going back wouldn't only waste time. I doubt there's even three more that would be able to withstand tracking down a hundred werewolves. Caleb said wisely, leaning back in the chair he had claimed for himself. The small troop had settled into the living room early in the beginning of day, candlelight flickering shadows all around them. An eerie silence lingered whenever they took time to think, making the entire house seem somewhat eerie.  
  
Funny it took them so long to break out...  
  
I know what you mean. Remus grumbled, looking to the shadowy face of his sleepless brother. That settlement has been running for a hundred years without a major escape-  
  
No, I mean after... Romolus trailed off, fighting an internal battle.  
  
You know something more?  
  
My guilt has been killing me, Remus. he admitted, his voice sounding as dark as the room was. What I did was beyond reason, and it's been killing me ever since... I couldn't forgive myself, I still can't. so I had to do something before I went insane.  
  
Remus' mouth twitched into a smile as realisation dawned upon him.  
  
You didn't...  
  
The Ministry sent me there- I'm still in the Beast Division, you know- and I had a bit of fun improving' their security system. The solid-silver walls that used to guard the place, well... It seems they didn't notice my little Transfiguration for a while. Though I must pride myself, I thought, surly the _guards_ would at least be able to tell the difference between polished aluminum and silver? he laughed softly to himself, shaking his head. It doesn't even begin to make up for what I did, but I must admit, it sure as hell feels good to know that I made a difference.  
  
The brothers shared an amused embrace, convincing each other that everything would be back to normal.  
  
You should come, Rom, it'll be like old times when we'd terrorize local authorities. But oh, Shelly will just kill you, wont she? Remus pouted mockingly.  
  
What she doesn't know wont hurt her. Or me, considering I'll be out of the house by the time she wakes up to find out bed empty of myself. he grinned.  
  
Not feeling guilty about contradicting his own preaching about non-werewolves coming for the roundup, Remus went to help plan their course of action, his brother in tow.  
  
Welcome aboard, Romolus. Caleb greeted, offering an accepting nod. It was the first time that an outsider had won his trust, the first time one would be allowed to join his pack for a hunt.  
  
Looking over at Remus, he realised that most every first time' situation had something to do with that boy.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Well, here's another chapter for you. Hope you enjoyed it :) I had a brief bout of Writer's Block on this, surprisingly enough. Around the fifth page I couldn't think of anything to include... Ah well, it worked out in the end. Cheers.  
  
**Iggie


	82. Part LXXXII Far, Far Away

A/n- You know what's just downright _sick_? Seeing Grey is about 900 pages. I'm not even kidding you. Each chapter is about 11 pages long, times 82... This is ridiculous. I'm ashamed of my lack of social life! THIS STORY MOCKS MY BOREDOM!!!!  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXXXII - Far, Far Away  
  
  
  
  
Simmers, there's a group of ten over this way! I don't want to mess with them, so I stunned them all.  
  
Good thinking... Ammen nearly had his arm snapped by a bloke half an hour ago. They think we're from the Ministry.  
  
I could use-stop it!-some help over here! Remus yelled, having his face smacked again by the angry four year old. He didn't know there would be small children involved, and this particular one seemed to be very angry.  
  
I want my mum! he wailed, kicking desperately.  
  
Maybe if you'd stop flailing about like an ingrate I could find her! Remus snapped. He looked around, desperate for help, though no one was in sight. The woods surrounding what used to be the werewolf settlement were thick with mist, making the difficult task almost impossible.  
  
Caleb! Where in God's name are you?  
  
I want my MUM!  
  
Oh, for the love of God... Remus muttered, struggling to bring out his wand. A short whisper later, the little banshee was limply hanging over his shoulder, no more trouble. Bloody demonic children. he said under his breath, stopping dead. Angrily he realised he had lost the rest of the pack, and had no idea where they were.  
  
So many people had been through these parts in a short time, a particular scent was impossible to track. His canine mind was whirling, caught in an eddy of spiraling sensations he couldn't keep track of.  
  
he said, walking a few steps forward. he had caught the current of someone's trail, but it was too faint even for him. Hey! Can anyone hear me out there?  
  
There was a rustle somewhere in the distance, and he hurried off. Now, there it was! Surely of an injured person, that was human blood...  
  
Stop it.' he told the wolf, peering around. If only the mist would disappear his task would be so much easier!  
  
Ah, there you are. he said in relief, managing to track the scent to its source.  
  
He set the young boy down, propping him up against a nearby tree carefully (though he felt no desire to keep him in perfect care).  
  
Hey, are you-  
  
What he had wrongly assumed was an unconscious man lashed out at him, though it took little effort to dodge. He was weak, and too slow to ever hope landing a hit.  
  
I'm not with the Ministry. he assured, removing the satchel slung about his chest. He quickly removed strips of broken cloth he had brought along for such a case, and looked the man over. It seemed every inch of open flesh was covered in blood, some already dried and caked to a deep rusty colour.  
  
How do I know that? he asked disorderly, the words hardly forming into comprehensible english. Remus guessed he tried to open his eyes, but they were sealed shut by bruise and blood.  
  
You don't. Remus replied, helping him sit upright. The man objected, edging his left arm in a shoving motion. The other hung limply at his side, shattered visibly.  
  
Figure I'd be dead, though, if you were. he slurred. As he was pushed against the tree, he broke into a violent fit of coughing, blood spewing from his blue lips.  
  
Don't talk. Remus ordered firmly, pushing him back against the tree to steady the boy-he saw now he could barely be older than himself-who seemed too frail to even stay awake. Remus feared that he would be lost soon enough, noticing how much blood had pooled around the area.  
  
I don't want you to respond, just nod or shake your head, alright? he asked, holding a bandage between his teeth momentarily to tighten it. The boy let out a groan, the muscles in his face contracting in pain. Nonetheless,s he nodded.  
  
Have you been out here since everyone broke out?   
  
He nodded, drops of red falling from his sandy hair. Remus put his hand there, and drew it back in horror. The entire topside of his head seemed to be leaking from many wounds.  
  
Did the guards catch you?  
  
He nodded, and opened his mouth to speak.  
  
I'm of the curse as well, speak that if it is easier.  
  
The smallest of smiles formed on his pale face. _Someone chased them off, but I heard their shouts. About a mile west, maybe, I can't smell them any longer. They may have died. The guards never returned afterwards.  
  
_I see you were shot...  
  
_Wasn't silver. Reserve guards weren't prepared, took the wrong ammunition I suppose._ he growled, his functional arm twitching as another bandage was pulled tight around his forearm. Remus apologized, and held his small bottle of water up.  
  
Drink, you need it badly.  
  
_Not thirsty. Can't, anyway._  
  
Neglecting the decline, Remus held it to his lips and forced him to swallow.  
  
Do you think you can walk?  
  
_No. My left leg is destroyed, I felt it crack this morning when I tried to crawl.  
  
_Pulling up the grey settlement-issue uniform, looking much like one from a prison, Remus found a bullet lodged below the knee.  
  
You're a right mess, you know that? he laughed grimly.  
  
_Guard knew me. Could have killed me, thought it more fun. Was here for two hours, only firing when he felt I was getting used to the pain.  
  
_  
  
There was a long pause, the boy trying to steady his breathing to little success.  
_  
Why are you out here? You aren't from the   
  
_My friend has been taking werewolves all around the world and moving them to his city. We've an entire town, just full of us... No one knows of it, so we're free to live in peace.  
  
_Oh, you're from... Jericho... They speak of you often.  
  
_They know of us? he asked incredulously.  
  
_You are our only hope. But, one thing bothers me... Did you not organize this?  
  
_Remus shook his head to himself, feeling guilty. They should have tried before.  
  
My brother did, he isn't one of us though. It was his way of repaying a debt.  
_  
Send him my thanks.  
  
_You can tell him yourself, once he comes. Remus insisted, sitting down finally. he had been kneeling for some time while tying the bandages, and he was loosing circulation in his legs now. Settling on the other side of the tree, he was able to keep an eye on both the child and the injured boy.  
  
What's your name, I never asked before. he noticed.  
  
_I was born Luke, though no one has called me that in years._ Slowly he reached up to his broken arm, and tore the sleeve away. A serial number was tattooed onto his forearm, bands of circling scars going the length of his arm below it.  
  
_Zero one one four zero three._ he recited.  
  
What are the scars?  
  
_We were banded by silver, all of us, you will find, have the same scar. I was the timekeeper, though. We were never told the days and years inside that place, so I kept record. The lines above are the months since my imprisonment. The lines below my number are for each person that died.  
  
_There has to be at least a hundred...' Remus thought sadly, shaking his head again. I always figured it was bad, but this?'  
  
_If I die, my brother of curse, please take note of my marks. I do not wish them to be lost.  
  
_You're going to be fine, alright? My brother, or the man who founded Jericho, they'll be here soon.  
  
_Hundreds of us fled. If you are all out here searching for us, there will be no time to track just me.  
  
_You aren't worthless to us. Remus said calmly, shutting his eyes for a moment. Everyone's worth the risk of saving.  
  
_Such idealists._ Luke mumbled with a choking laugh. _I cannot complain, though. In all my years I never gave up hope that I would someday be free. Most everyone thought I was crazy.  
  
_It isn't crazy to wish for freedom. Remus replied.  
  
  
  
He couldn't remember how long ago it was when he lost the feeling in his body. For hours they had been walking on, forced to haul the injured and weak by magic or strength alone. Remus, rested from waiting to be found, had been given the task of magicking not only five injured, but he had one man on his back as well.  
  
Here, want me to take them? Caleb offered, taking his wand out. Nodding gratefully, Remus cast down his own Levitation charm and exhaled. Flitwick was right, prolonged use of that was very draining...  
  
He was marching on behind a floating body, and it wasn't for some time that he recognized the beaten face.  
  
Told you, Luke, you'd make it out. he said, pushing the person slung over his shoulders upwards a few inches.  
  
Opening an eye with some difficulty, the boy smiled. You never said there was a Healer in your midst.  
  
I didn't know. came the honest reply.  
  
He turned his head slightly, grimacing, as he tried to get a better look at his rescuer.  
  
You're Remus Lupin, right? They told me about you.  
  
Probably far from the truth... Most of the Underground has a very hero-worship view of me. I just happen to be in the right place at the right time fairly often. Remus said.  
  
For that habit, I'm very grateful. Luke said with a short laugh, closing his eye and trying to sleep again.  
  
Looking around, Remus watched the huddled packs of newly freed men and women look around in awe.  
  
So long, it seems, that they haven't seen such a luxury. Caleb said from behind him, his eyes seeing the same. Some of them have been in there their entire lives, never walking beyond the walls.  
  
Is the Underground so different? Most of you don't leave, save for a few trips to buy food.  
  
Smiling, Caleb disagreed. The fact that we can leave whenever we want is enough for us.  
  
  
  
Rhint had trudged up alongside him, carrying the child Remus had found before.  
  
When are we going to be to a safe point?  
  
My only contact for this area is another thirty miles. It's going to be a few days, at our rate of travel.  
  
Remus stopped, and a wide grin split his lips.  
  
Where's the nearest town?  
  
We can't go into town-  
  
I need to use a telephone. Remus interrupted, impatiently shifting the man on his back again. My friend James-  
  
He funds the Ministry! I'm not-  
  
He also has his own transport! Look, I just need to the nearest town!  
  
Rolling his eyes, Caleb pointed west, and soon enough, Remus had traded the body for spare Muggle change with another Underground member and was promptly sprinting through the woods.  
  
  
  
  
  
Hey, Moony, how did everything-  
  
Fine, fine. But the Knight Bus, could we borrow it? There's almost two hundred of us here and some of them aren't going to last the journey to Caleb's safe house.  
  
Sure, but Moony, the driver... James trailed off, and there was a brief conversation on the other end. Alright, I'll send it over. I already know where you are, tracking phone, you know. Modifying these Muggle things is so simple, and-  
  
Thanks James. he cut off, smiling broadly. Send it about three miles east of me, it'll be easier. He paused, and briefly fought with his better judgment. You can come, too, we could use the extra hands. And Sirius, if he isn't still mad.  
  
The other side of the line closed with a snort of laughter, and Remus didn't hesitate to run back to his pack.  
  
  
  
Welcome aboard the Knight Bus! Sirius greeted with a tip of the driver's hat.  
  
I am _not_ getting on that thing. Rhint hissed from beside Remus, her eyes narrowed dangerously.  
  
Laughing, he pulled her aside to make way for those being loaded onto the bus.  
  
Geez Moony, we might not be able to fit everyone. James said idly, sticking his head out of a second-deck window.  
  
Well, make room. he shrugged, hand on Rhint's shoulder. She was making movements towards the door, and he knew she was clutching the knife in her pocket. Rhint, please, not now.  
  
How can he find that acceptable? she yelled as Sirius made a rude implication. His damn male logic!  
  
That is an oxymoron if I ever heard one. a young woman laughed as she stepped onto the bus.  
  
Frustrated, Rhint stormed off to the back of the long line of those waiting to board. Remus darted in front of a conjured stretcher for a pair of young girls that had been knocked out, and he sat down on the front seat.  
  
You do know how to drive this thing, right? he asked quietly, not wanting to overhear that the driver was a first-timer.  
  
Oh sure. Sirius said with a goodhearted grin. Prongs told me everything on the way here, and I read the manual.  
  
Seeing the apprehensive look, he rolled his eyes. I got it here, didn't I?  
  
Yeah, well, just make sure it gets back. Otherwise you'll have quite a number of unhappy werewolves to deal with.  
  
Sirius tipped his striped hat, and with an Aye Aye' went back to adjusting various golden knobs by the steering wheel.  
  
Hey, is there any food? someone shouted out. Soon enough, nearly everyone was asking for food, peering around the neat little cabin of the bus.  
  
Caleb, we need to get going quickly. There's going to be a riot soon if we don't get everyone back to the Underground. he called through an open window.  
  
Er, there isn't enough fuel to go that far, you see. Sirius said. This runs off of charged sources, we haven't magicked it completely.  
  
  
  
Don't worry, we just need to stop at James' for the night so it can recharge.  
  
Caleb... We have to detour at James' house so this bus can recharge for the journey back. he passed on, slightly disgruntled. Caleb nodded, not wanting to complain about free transportation.  
  
Can his place even hold us all?  
  
laughing, Remus nodded. This is James Potter, after all. Of course he can shelter us... Hell, he could fit the whole Underground in his house with room to spare.  
  
the Gryffindor called from the top deck, shrugging. I've only been to half the rooms there, honestly.  
  
You truly do keep the strangest company. Caleb said with a grateful smile.  
  
  
  
  
  
Catching their squeal from several yards distance, Remus was able to brace himself for the impending tackle. Instead of being thrown to the ground as he normally was, he swooped the two boys into his arms in one graceful movement.  
  
Hey, how are you guys doing? he laughed, swinging them around in a big circle.  
  
Mellie said that you weren't gonna be back for a while. Corey said, frowning slightly as he was set down. Did she lie?  
  
No, she didn't lie... I'll be leaving in a day or two, and I don't know how often I'll be coming back. Remus said seriously, trying to offer his best smile. But I'm here now, and that's what matters, right?  
  
C'wer play Qu'ditch? Corey asked, running around Remus in an excited circle as he walked towards the long, empty storehouse.  
  
Sorry boys, but I have a little work to do. Later though, tomorrow maybe. I'll sneak my friend's broom, you can fly a _real_ Comet.  
  
Their blue eyes went wide with delight, and they tagged along, whispering about secret flying techniques until Remus had to part.  
  
Cute kids.  
  
Oh, they're not mine. Remus said, flushed red as the woman laughed.   
  
Sorry lad, but they look remarkably like you, and you seemed... Well, fatherly.  
  
Shrugging, he nodded to the chuckling lady and looked around hopefully for Caleb or Garade to receive instructions.  
  
He isn't here anymore.' his conscience reminded, and he felt a twinge of pain. They had lost one to the Dark already.  
  
Ah, Lupin.   
  
An orderly looking man a few years his elder appeared, holding a clipboard and a hovering quill. We could use a spare set of hands over in the hospital, if you can find Theodore-  
  
I'm not the best of Healers. he admitted quickly, not wanting to be on medical duty. It would run well into the next morning, and he needed sleep.  
  
Well, the boys out hauling everyone in here could sure use a little extra power-  
  
Nate, don't even. I'll not have you taking him to grudge work.  
  
The sandy-haired man shook his head with a smile, and waved in a dismissive fashion as he walked past. Romolus, grinning ear to ear, took his place.  
  
You know him?  
  
Ah, he was at the Ministry for a while. Romolus explained, wiping a streak of mud on his forehead. He didn't succeed in removing the dirt, only spreading it wider. Remus said nothing, concealing his amusement.  
  
Well, dear brother, you seem to fit in very well around here. he said with an approving look. Various people passing by would stop to greet Romolus, tipping a hat, or merely acknowledging his presence with a nod.  
Yeah, I was a little worried at first. he confessed, sighing. I hadn't really been involved with anyone before, only Caleb and the like... I guess the name holds enough respect around here, they accepted me right-off.  
  
Lupin, holding respect. Remus tried, the words sounding strange coming from him truthfully. How odd, isn't it? All the years we spent being the filth and scum, yet now...  
  
Now you're a saint, with Caleb I mean, but it seems a lot of them favour you. Romolus pointed out. From the corner of his eye, he saw a young girl trip, and he quickly sidestepped to grab the tray of potions she had been carrying. Almost bowing gratefully, she scurried off, red in the face. Romolus laughed out loud, and shrugged.   
  
Why would they prefer me? He started this, He indicated the room, and the town and all its people. without him-  
  
Without you there would be no hope to tie it together. Romolus interrupted, donning a small, serious look. I see how everyone looks at you when you don't notice them. They take comfort in you, little brother, because you broke the norm. Making it to Hogwarts, surviving more than your share of hazard...  
  
I'm only human, Rom, don't they realise that? he asked, the words directed almost to someone else he couldn't see. Someday I could fail, and if they place too much in me-  
  
But you wont fail, never completely. was the warm response. Even if you were to die they'd only see what you've accomplished.  
  
What I've accomplished? Remus asked himself, his tone almost humorous. I can see that they look up to me for hope because I escaped the stereotype, but... I just don't think they should hold me so highly. It's only going to come back to hurt them in the end.  
  
Well, they do, little brother. Like it or not, you're their hero.  
  
Remus shook his head, and pushed through the crowd surrounding his brother and himself. He wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone now, the words spoken having destroyed his desire to help out. Those around him felt the unsaid message and allowed him space to think.  
  
Remus walked for some time, not seeking anywhere in particular, just feeling the need to move, to busy himself without being involved in anything. Eventually he sat down on a mossy patch of hill overlooking the stone building below. The lights were on, sparkling through the windows, the light blending with the soft hues of sundown.  
  
Rare for me to find such a calm. he sighed, falling backwards gradually. The ground was damp, cool from the winter evening, and it soothed his sore back. I suppose it wont last much longer...  
  
He closed his itching eyes, needing to relieve the stress of being awake any longer. Slowly, he took in a deep breath, something he had neglected for far too long. The air filled his lungs, brimming with an energy he didn't want to release. So long since he had felt this way, his mind clear. Seldom could he lock way his thoughts and truly relax.  
  
A dull smile across his lips, he turned his head to the side, ready to let consciousness slip away.  
  
Someone was there.  
  
In the back of his mind, he recognized the person at once.  
  
She lay down beside him, close enough for him to feel the warmth and steady breathing upon his face.  
  
It's cool outside. she muttered, shifting slightly. Calming, isn't it?  
  
Remus mumbled something incoherent, a simple noise of agreement.  
  
Obviously she sensed his thoughts, and became silent. With only slight hesitation, she moved closer, pressing against his side. He felt a hand cover his own, and to his own surprise, he relaxed.  
  
It'll be like this forever, someday. Rhint whispered to the rising stars, the shadowy wisp of a waning moon. We'll have peace someday...  
  
Remus said, believing the words he had so long denied. some day, there will be peace for us, calm like this...  
  
They both lay together, neither speaking again. For some time they remained alone, basking in the tranquillity of the hill.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Yeah, where the hell did that come from? :: shrug :: Iggie's been feeling a little weird as of late, so don't mind if the next few chapters are of a new variety. Fear not!  
  
**Iggie**  
  
If anyone NOT on my mailing list/update service, PLEASE mention it in your review and give me an email address or IM screen name.   
  
My screen name is AlyssaC7, and occasionally you may find me on Ignominious0114. Contact me through Instant Messenger if you want to chat, or whatnot. Thanks!  
  
  
  
  
**Again, I send my deepest thanks out there to everyone reading. Many of you have neglected school or work to scroll through the pages, and most all of you have more than once stayed up until the early hours of morning. Newcoming readers, you have a sort of determination I admire, for 80 some chapters is a lot to catch up to. My old and faithful friends, I thank you, truly. You keep Seeing Grey going!


	83. Part LXXXIII Ignipotens

A/n- Yeah, there's more. I fear there is ALWAYS going to be more. o.O  
  
Pardon errors this chapter. I wanted to get it out so I didn't trouble editing too much. Sorry.  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXXXIII - Ignipotens   
  
  
  
  
  
What do you mean there's no room for them? Remus snapped, frowning.  
  
Running a hand through his hair, Caleb's orderly gestured exasperation with his hands, his clipboard flailing. We were full to capacity before they came, sir, so we have nowhere to put them yet. Well, sir, we could build some emergency houses in about-  
  
They aren't going to be thrown into some cheap-crack shacks. he interrupted. They lived in prison cells; they're getting _real_ homes.  
  
Well we don't have the time! the boy muttered. ...Sir. or the resources, I mean, the forest is going to thin out if we-  
  
Find them. Remus said stiffly, settling the matter.   
  
Where do we put them for now, sir? the boy grumbled, now annoyed.  
  
I don't care... Wait. Wait wait wait. Remus rambled off, looking around suddenly.  
  
the orderly said sarcastically, tapping his board in a rather irritating fashion.  
  
  
  
A few moments later, James appeared, a handful of deer jerky in his hand and mouth.  
  
'Oh calphd meh? he said thickly.  
  
Prongs, we have a little problem.  
  
Yeah, there isn't enough of this stuff. James said, swallowing as he held out his prized dried meat.  
  
Could we borrow your mansion again? Remus asked, hating to impose but knowing there was no alternate solution.  
  
Can I get some more of this stuff? he asked hopefully. He was grinning wide, hoping to strike a deal. Without regard for manners, he bit off another end of the jerky.  
  
Er... I suppose that can be arranged. the orderly said slowly, watching in disgusted fascination as James devoured the food.  
  
Delighted, James nodded. Sure thing, then. Mi casa, su casa, no? Or if you prefer a little Elicnoyese, ca vhushka node em ga merk ien te sahg vesh-  
  
Just have everyone who has to be removed at the city center in two hours. Remus interrupted, rolling his eyes.  
  
The nameless orderly left, still tapping his clipboard.  
  
  
  
Jesus' love, Moony, how can they eat so much? James exclaimed, falling limply into one of his prized styrofoam-bean chairs in his Muggle Room'.  
Habitually he flickered on his wood-case radio, and tilted his head back. His left foot flickered to the tempo of the music, and absently, not aware of it, he began to hum along to the tune.  
  
We do eat about three times as much as you. Remus said slowly, feeling awkward. He had to refer to his friends as them' again, separating himself into a category of Dark beasts once more.  
  
I know, but bloody hell, I'm almost out of _everything_! he laughed, eyes now shut. Obviously, he was exhausted.  
  
Are you serious? Remus asked, smiling in amusement. It wasn't altogether surprising to him; he very well that the band of werewolves could empty Hogwarts in no time, with the greatest of ease. Hearing it as true, however, was still an interesting feat to comprehend. James had enough food stockpiled to feed several hundred weekends of gorging.  
  
I completely underestimated them. he admitted, his other foot joining in the tapping game. I mean, you're almost... What is it, anorexic, compared to some of them.  
  
How are they doing, though? Some of the injured ones...  
  
James paused, and opened his eyes. With an unsteady hand he took his glasses off, wiped them on his striped shirt, and returned them to the bridge of his nose thoughtfully.  
  
Another one died. he said after a pause. Remus nodded, knowing it would happen. It was inevitable with the extent of wounds he had seen. And a few more are very close. I was going to call in a private Healer, but they wont allow it at all. A young mother out there threatened to kill me and herself before she let anyone touch her son.  
  
Was he sandy-haired, fairly young? Remus asked curiously.  
  
Yeah, why?  
  
Laughing to himself at the unseen justice, he shrugged. No matter... I just think the little brat deserves it. Worst damn kid...  
  
Hey, how were the twins? I didn't catch them while I was in town. James said, rubbing his eyes. They were bloodshot, just like Remus', like everyone's.  
  
Big, much too big. I have no idea when the hell they got so... Big.  
  
James smiled, and began to retell some odd tale of how the twins had managed to nearly kill Sirius while playing a child's version of Quidditch. Halfway through his description of a wonderful dopplegang beating, however, the Animagus in question hollered from some distant chamber.  
  
James yelled back.  
  
Hands over his ears, the loud screeches undoubtedly bothering all the other werewolves, Remus yelled for him to shut up.  
  
Sorry Moony. he said hastily, running out after the call. A few seconds later he came back, looking far less amused.  
  
We've got a slight problem-  
  
  
  
Chap about our age... James said, crestfallen. He had seen more than his share already.  
  
Take me to him.  
  
  
  
You lied, Lupin.  
  
I said you'd get out of there. Remus said, sitting backwards on a chair James had conjured into the crowded medical room (in actuality one of his many dining halls).  
  
You also said I'd live. the boy choked.  
  
And you will.  
  
Remus didn't believe himself, and he felt guilty for it. He looked worse, so much worse, almost like a corpse now. Whatever colour he had before had drained from his skin, which clung to his bones disgustingly. Maybe it was just now, in the full light, that Remus as just seeing what had been there before.  
  
Shaking his head, Luke tried to force the beginning of a smile. Nice place to die, isn't it? I had forgotten that places like this existed... Windows, real lights, carved oak... He sighed, and shut his very bloodshot and tired eyes. Thank you. I've waited too long for this chance.  
  
Just shut up. Remus whispered, to his surprise, his voice rippled with anger. You aren't going to die, so just-  
  
Why do you think I called you here? Luke asked quietly, turning his head. It had been bandaged, though blotches of red still leaked through. Jesus, I'm pathetic. he said with a morbid smirk. Eighteen and dying, you know? And all I have to claim... Nothing, really, I suppose. I was locked behind those walls most of my life-  
  
Stop it! Remus said, running a hand through his hair in irritation. Just shut up with this, please! You aren't going to-  
  
Luke's smile faded, and his eyes seemed to glaze over even more.  
  
Everyone whispers of you as their hero, their savior. I had assumed you the same, but I guess you really are human. he said slowly, full of disappointment.  
  
Head between his hands, Remus took in a sharp breath of air. Why does everyone picture me as their saint? I'm too weak to even chose a place to stay. he finally asked, his hands shaking on their own will.  
  
People have told me countless times of everything you've done. Luke answered, coughing violently at his pause. They don't seem to be exaggerating, either. I may just be a fool who had been locked away so long and needs a good story, but... Really, they look up to you. You attend Hogwarts, one of the makeshift nurses said, and your three friends, he stopped, and moved his good hand to indicate the doorway where James stood uneasily, looking around at the countless beds full of the injured. they accept you, even with the curse. Any one of us would give it all away for that chance, and yet you... You don't notice it, do you? Luke peered curiously at him, shifting his head so he could catch Remus' gaze. Don't you see everything you've done?  
  
You don't know me. Remus began, wanting the conversation to end, for the situation to dissolve away like his nightmares at sunrise.   
  
You're right, I don't. was the solid reply. But I know people's emotions, what they're thinking. You cannot be kept with prisoners and the miserable for so long without gaining an attune knowledge for human feelings. They look up to you, even now.  
  
Deftly, he reached out and lifted Remus' chin up. Forcing him to look around, to be aware of the seemingly endless stream of people casting him respectful glances as they passed.  
  
See? Don't you see it now? he asked.  
  
Remus pulled away, and stood up to leave. Not here, not now...  
  
You'll have to see it eventually. Luke said quietly, laying back down, closing his eyes. I guess I was useless, then. They way they looked at you without your return, it kills me. Even now, it does. What I wouldn't have given for your freedom-  
  
I'm free of nothing. Remus snapped, his voice hoarse. I'm more of a prisoner than any of you allow yourselves to see. So don't tell me I'm the blind one, alright?  
  
He walked off, angry with himself and with the Underground.  
  
In his swiftness, he didn't notice that his fellow was silent, not even the sound of breath escaping him.  
  
  
  
Staring at a fixed point in space, Remus let his mind wander. He didn't notice the landscape rushing by, the dark blurs of tree and hill. Too many thoughts were racing through his mind, each one fighting for full attention. The end result left Remus in a state of half-awareness.  
  
He looks pretty beat. James noticed, speaking quietly. Peter was snoring soundly a row behind. In an uncharacteristic display of helpfulness, he had offered to help when he discovered his friends to be on an adventure without him. The work had worn him down quickly, however, and after his first night of tending to the injured and settling the new arrivals he had called in quits.  
  
We'd best not bother him, I guess. Sirius said, looking through the rearview mirror above the windshield window. He was still smiling, so enthused to be operating the Knight Bus once again. He's been spent out, you know.  
  
James nodded, frowning. His friend had undergone quite a lot in the past few days, more than he would admit to himself. Making amends with his brother had been a mental strain, as James knew deep down Remus would never truly forgive him for the unspeakable act of betrayal he had confessed. The settlement breakout had been somewhat of a cherry of stress added on top of his sundae.  
  
So where are we headed? Remus finally asked, snapping his attention away from the window.  
  
Lily wanted us over tonight, for dinner. James said, his cheeks glowing red in contrast to the cold pale.  
  
Nodding, Remus turned away. He knew why he had been brought along, dragged through into someone else's affairs to be emotional support. Where was _his_ support? Did no one see he needed help, too?  
  
He argued with himself for some time, and reached the conclusion that the world was too busy at the moment to pay too much attention his his well-being. After all, wasn't he the saint now?  
  
  
  
Remus, good to see you!  
  
Lily was careful, and very clever. She knew immediately something was bothering Remus, so she had embraced him warmly the moment he set foot in her house. James, however, nearly erupted until he was given a smile.  
  
MUM! THOSE FREAKS ARE ALL-  
  
Petunia, I told you to STAY IN YOUR ROOM! came a blistering screech. All of the Marauders covered their ears, and Lily rolled her eyes.  
  
Sorry, my sister is a prat. she said as she let go. In a very motherly fashion she collected everyone's cloaks and set about to shuffling them into the living room.  
  
Mr. Evans smiled nervously, recognizing Remus. Obviously he was intimidated to have such a large and gangly looking boy (his own opinion, of course) in his daughter's company, but he tried to hide concern.  
  
he offered, holding out a silver tray of various baked goods. Remus smiled, and shook his head.  
  
Dad! I told you not to bring out the good plate ware- Lily began, scowling.  
  
Oh, but dear, I figured we should have all the good silver and china out for James. he argued back, his mustache twitching nervously. Upstairs, a door slammed shut.  
  
It's alright, Lily. Remus said quietly, taking a pastry. It was difficult to avoid touching the tray, but he managed. So, Mr. Evans, what's for dinner?  
  
Ah, well... he mumbled, looking suspiciously at his daughter. Lily said you all enjoy steak, and I wanted to try my new grill...  
  
He's obsessed with it. Lily giggled quietly. We've had grilled supper every night since mum gave him that ruddy thing.  
  
Lily, my dear, you just do not appreciate the fine art of properly grilled meat. Sirius said with a delighted smile. Turning to Lily's father, he began a lengthy conversation about various recipes and fine places to dine for the best steak.  
  
Lily said under her breath, sitting down next to James on the smaller of the two sofas. Sirius and Mr. Evans occupied the other, while Peter had taken refuge on the fancy sitting chair.  
  
I'll be right back. he muttered, even though no one was paying an ounce of attention to him. As he turned to leave, however, Lily's mother popped into the room.  
  
Lily Marie, you didn't tell me there were _four_ boys coming! she snapped, sounding very displeased.  
  
Mum, I didn't know that Remus was going to make it. Lily defended, frowning. He's busy a lot, you know... Oh come now, mum, it can't be that big of a problem!  
  
Shooting her daughter a silencing glare, Mrs. Evans tisked to herself. I'll have to redo everything now, Lily. I hadn't prepared for this at all.  
  
Oh, it's alright, Peter doesn't need any food. Sirius offered, though the suggestion wasn't appreciated from either crowd.  
  
We don't even have enough room at the table, or another chair... No no, I'll have to move everything outside now! And supper! How am I ever going to fix enough for this, now?  
  
Look, ma'am, I'll just-  
  
Lily interrupted, sending a very identical glare to Remus. You aren't going to leave. And mum- she turned back at this, green eyes flashing. I invited him over for dinner, he doesn't get them very often like this. Please, just stop making such a fuss and set a place! We'll manage!  
  
Running his hands through his mess of hair, Remus decided to end the argument before it got out of hand. Whistling shrilly, a useful skill he had learned from Caleb, he immediately gathered everyone's attention.  
  
It's alright, ok? I need to be back with the others. he said, knowing the Marauders at least would be able to pass this information along. Thank you for inviting me Lily, I really appreciate the offer, but I shouldn't be here right now.  
  
Remus, don't- Lily began, starting towards him. He warded her off with a shrugging gesture, his hands outstretched.  
  
There was a problem, you see, and they could use my help back home. he turned to a very unsettled housewife, and smiled apologetically. I'm sorry to have started a rustle, but thank you anyway. To Mr. Evans he grinned, and bowed his head slightly. I'll be looking forward to your steaks sometime, sir, but I have to be leaving.  
  
He grabbed his battered and patched cloak from the rack, and let himself outside. A moment later, the door slammed shut again, and a set of hands grabbed him by the shoulder.  
  
C'mon Moony, you don't have to leave. No one insinuated that. James said, looking sad.  
  
I don't need to be here. he answered firmly. You wanted me here to be your support, Lily wanted me here to be her support, and Sirius just wants to tag along on my   
  
Moony, I... I didn't...  
  
He fell silent, realising he was wrong. He _had _dragged Remus along to be his backing, but the way it was being presented now seemed so... Vile.  
  
I'm going back. Remus said with a shake of his head. Slinging his cloak over his shoulders, he set off into the blistering cold, into the night.  
  
Can we at least give you a ride? James asked, wanting to amend _something_.  
  
I'll be fine. Remus said distantly, walking out into the dark street. The overhead lights flickered inconsistently, and with a scowl, Remus set them out, disappearing to his friend.  
  
  
  
I thought you had left. Romolus said almost cheerfully, not hiding his pleasure at seeing his brother back.  
  
Figured I should be here instead. Remus answered, forcing the stiffness from his voice. He was still bitter, though what about he couldn't quite pinpoint. Deciding to cut Romolus off from any conversation, he jumped straight to business. How long until enough houses are constructed?  
  
Well, I'm thinking about a week or two, if everyone helps out. Romolus said thoughtfully, looking round the street. Vacant lots were begin cleared of rock and bush, and already, several wooden frames had arisen.  
  
They work quickly. Remus noted, almost proud in a way. Looking his brother over, he found that he shared an identical expression.  
  
You enjoy it here, don't you?  
  
Smiling vacantly, Romolus nodded. I can make a difference, so much more than anywhere else. Around here, I have importance.  
  
They accept you, at least, because of me and what you've done.  
  
They shouldn't. he muttered, eyes dark suddenly. I don't deserve their trust at all, not after... The things I've thought...  
  
We're forgiving to one who's sincere.  
  
They both turned to find Caleb standing less than a foot behind. Neither had sensed him.  
  
The Lupin name commands more respect than my own, I'm afraid. he said with mock hurt, bowing his head to each brother. Though I can't say that I complain. You both bring nothing but problems, but I still cannot place fault for all you've done.  
  
Remus shrugged, finding no words that would be appropriate.  
  
Sir, I'd be honored if you would let me stay here. Romolus said after a pensive delay. Nodding, not surprised, Caleb put a hand on his shoulder.  
  
You're like a twin to him, did you know that? he asked, smiling. I'd swear you were the same person if I didn't know otherwise.  
  
Romolus laughed, a genuine laugh that had been gone for far too long now. I hope it wont confuse anyone here. he exclaimed, grinning as well.   
  
No one will confuse us. Remus informed, still slightly somber, looking more so between to two chuckling men. We're nothing alike anymore...  
  
Yeah, you're the grumpy old man, aren't you Moony?' Romolus smirked, rolling his eyes as he ragged his brother under his arm. Stop being so serious all the time. I didn't scrap food and struggle a few years of my life to raise a depressed man of seventeen.  
  
  
He broke free, frowning at the insult. I'm not depressed, I'm just sick of everyone relying on me so much. he spat.  
  
Caleb and Romolus looked at one another for a brief second, speaking without uttering a single word. As one, it seemed, they turned back to the young leader and laughed the same laugh.  
  
You sound way too old. Rom offered, pulling his brother in again. He forced him away from the town center, away from all the busy work and wide, prying eyes of admirers.  
  
And hey, didn't I ban you, anyway? Caleb remembered, directing them off to the hill Remus had taken comfort in not too long ago. The trio sat down, looking out across what they all now considered to be the greatest city ever built.  
  
If I've learned anything from my friends, Caleb, it's that rules were meant to be decimated. Remus answered with a sigh.   
  
It was useless to try, he reasoned, letting the slightest of smiles crease his features.  
  
A good philosophy to follow. Caleb said, laying down and closing his eyes. A very good one.  
  
How's that? Romolus asked, doing likewise. To Remus they looked too similar, even though of different build, their images, their faces, they were blurring together in his mind. His family, they were both his family.  
  
If we had followed rules, Caleb went on, still grinning as he drifted into a light sleep. we wouldn't be here. We'd all be dead.  
  
I reckon we would. Remus agreed.   
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Alright, first things first. I'M SO SORRY that this took way too long to get up. I had another mental breakdown for a week or so, and that coupled with bad happenings and writer's block made for one SLOW update. I really do apologize for bothering everyone with my lack of speed this time. I'll try not to let it happen again!  
  
Secondly, thanks, so very much. You've all kept with this fic for so long, you're all incredible. Glad you're enjoying it :)  
  
And lastly, if this update delay ever happens again, don't think I've abandoned the story. I have a few problems I'm sorting out right now and I simply don't have the energy to write sometimes. I'm riding this through till the end, fear not.  
  
**Iggie  
  
**  
  
Fic of the Day: Prejudice by Ria- **A very wonderful tale of Slytherin hatred and their inter-House relationships. Also has slash, and since I'm not too much of a fan of it, obviously the fic was cool enough for me to overlook that. Recommended for those needing to see the Snakes in a new light.


	84. Part LXXXIV Unsettled

A/n- Ya know, I don't feel like it right now. So just read :)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXXXIV - Unsettled  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Brilliant, James, simply brilliant! Remus said in awe, shredding away the rest of the decorative paper. He was about to snatch the watch, to put it on, but stopped abruptly.  
  
I thought you would know by now-  
  
It isn't silver. Sirius said, taking a pause from his almost inhuman inhalation of Every Flavour Beans.   
  
Remus raised an eyebrow, wondering if his friends had gone mad. It was most certainly silver... Surly they wouldn't doubt a werewolf's ability to identify their own poison, would they?  
  
White gold. James explained. And you see, the middle dial shows all-  
  
Is that a moon phase? Remus interrupted, holding the watch up to his face now that he wasn't hesitant to touch it anymore. Indeed, they were right, it didn't bother his skin at all.  
  
Yes, it's charmed to be accurate for one hundred six years. Sirius said proudly, evidently having had some thought in the purchase. You might outlive it, but not too bad, eh?  
  
But... Where are the numbers? Remus realised. There weren't twelve notches, as expected on any self-respecting timepiece.  
  
It goes by twenty-four. That's the innermost dial. James said, eager to explain all the features. It has the time synchronization for night and day, the dates... Oh yeah! Here, if you pull this knob and twist it this way- he came over, leaving his own gifts at the foot of the bed, grabbing the watch in demonstration. it will bring up a map of all the seasonal constellations. This also serves as a compass, too, even if you can't navigate by stars.  
  
The coolest thing is the face dial. Sirius added, joining in on the explanation. He took the watch, which Remus _really_ wanted back, and turned another knob. The face went blank of the tiny constellation projections, and returned to an almost normal design. About half the face was a pleasant off-white, while the minority fraction was deep blue.  
  
It shows how long daylight and nighttime will be for each new day. Sirius said, showing. Currently, the darkened portion was at the bottom, right by a gentle floating ball of light that indicated the present time, or so Remus guessed. If they would let him have his gift back!  
  
Can I see it? he finally asked, laughing. James and Sirius were so enthused to show off the seemingly endless flow of features that they weren't even directing their comments to Remus anymore.   
  
With sheepish smiles, they relinquished the watch.  
  
Well, Merry Christmas Moony. Sirius said, going back to his pile of candies.  
  
Where's your girlfriend, anyway? James asked, deciding to leave a few f his gifts for a later surprise. He stood up, and looked out the window of their borrowed room in Romolus' newly constructed home.  
  
She's not-  
  
Yeah, I haven't seen her around the past two days. Sirius added. Bet she isn't too happy about having to give up the house, though.  
  
It's only temporary. Remus said.   
  
Hey, I offered my house as long as it was needed.  
  
I'm not going to let a hundred werewolves run about in your home when you aren't around. Remus explained, sighing. Everyone here will just have to adjust for a little while.  
  
Er... Found her. Sirius said idly, pointing out the window. Remus craned his neck, and found a blur of black running across the street.  
  
She looks a little perturbed. James observed. Seconds later, the front door slammed shut, and someone thundered up the stairs.  
  
You know, I think we'll be leaving now. he said, grabbing Sirius by the shoulder as Rhint opened the door. She looked very distraught, and Sirius didn't feel up to testing his luck.  
  
They brushed by, and Remus was offered a full look of the girl.  
  
He... He was, and...  
  
She rushed to him, sending him to the ground with the force of her embrace. He slid against the back wall, Rhint clinging to his chest, her hands full of his sleep shirt. Violently she rocked against him with her sobs, her eyes shut and leaking heavily.  
  
he tried, feeling incredibly awkward at the moment. Consoling emotionally distressed girls wasn't one of his greatest skills. In fact, he had no idea what to do at all, except to ask for the obvious.  
  
What's wrong?  
  
She answered by gripping tighter to his shirt, and sliding down somewhat, now resting just below his collarbone, head on his shoulder.  
  
He's here. she choked out.  
  
Slowly, Remus began to feel how very frail she was now, sprawled atop him, she seemed to hold no self at all. She seemed almost surreal, and broken.  
  
he asked, his hands hanging in the air. He wasn't sure where to put them, what to do at all.  
  
She shook her head against him, crying again.  
  
Hesitantly, he put a hand on her forehead, to try and calm her. All it did was make her startle, and tense up even more.  
  
Rhint, you have to tell me what's wrong. he said gently, putting his hands on her back and lacing his fingers together.  
  
He's here, he's out there. she said quietly, her voice rather hoarse with what Remus thought was fear. She was still tense, and he knew she was fighting the urge to push away from his touch.  
  
he persisted, wishing she would look up at him. Deftly, he tried to coax her face upwards, but she resisted.  
  
Don't. Please don't. she mumbled quietly, her voice stifled now, buried in his shoulder.  
  
I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong. Remus reasoned, letting out a sigh. Why was everything so complicated?  
  
Still sobbing quietly, she remained firm, never speaking another word for a long time. He held her there until he was sure she had drifted into an unrestful sleep, and then he slipped away.  
  
Outside, the night was settled, only faint sounds of construction from afar outplaying the songs of the crickets. Trying not to disturb any of the neighbors, Remus lightly stepped his way over to the long, cemented hall that was housing the last of the new werewolves who had nowhere else to stay.  
  
Evening, Lupin. the doorman greeted with a tip of his dirty hat.  
  
Any idea where my brother or Melhane would be? he asked, yawning.  
  
Well, your brother went into town for some more supplies, though I think Mel's out in the back working nurse shift at the moment.  
  
Thanks Dave.  
  
He walked away, not noticing that the man seemed especially pleased that his name had been remembered.  
  
I thought you would be asleep by now, Melhane said in a very motherly tone. She was busying herself by mixing various vials of potion, squinting one eye shut to check the measurements as she held them up to the dim light.  
  
Was Rhint back here?  
  
A few hours ago, yes. Corey had fallen from a broom- Lord pity whoever gave it to him if I find out- and she brought him over for a bandage.  
  
Might sound a little strange, but... Did anything upset her?  
  
Melhane paused, pursing her thin lips in thought. she drawled, setting down a beaker. When she was leaving, one of the newcomers had stopped to talk with her. I had to go tend to another woman over on the east side, though, so I don't know what happened then.  
  
Who was it? Remus asked, looking around. there were countless cots lined against the walls, divided by who needed medical attention and who was just residing there for the time being. Of those awake that were within his sight, none looked familiar.  
  
Afraid I wasn't paying much attention, honestly. I just saw her stop to talk to someone.  
  
Nodding a farewell, Remus went off to investigate on his own. Following where Melhane had thought Rhint had been, he came upon a block of cots pushed close together near one of the few windows.  
  
He stopped short, and felt the colour rising in his face.  
  
he snapped, eyes flared out dangerously.  
  
The boy was asleep now, resting calmly on the cot given to him without hesitation. Remus felt a surge of anger engulf him, filling in his chest and making each breath staggered.   
  
he called quietly, his voice rather strained.  
  
A short, balding man came over, eyes red with fatigue and irritation.  
  
he asked, looking around for someone else to handle the problem.  
  
This boy, here. Remus said, pointing.  
  
Nick Val... Val... Yes, what about him? Mr. Lorrit questioned, unable to recall the full name.  
  
I want him removed from the city. Immediately. Remus said, struggling to control himself. He had the desire to strangle the young man and wasn't sure he could resist much longer. He is to be taken to the Ministry first thing in the morning and handed in to the Beast Control Department. My brother will need to be alerted, as I suspect he will take him in.  
  
Whatever for? the pudgy man wondered, raising and eyebrow.  
  
He is not welcome here. Remus said, offering no more of an explanation. Stiffly he turned and left, his hands curled into tight balls in his pockets.  
  
he whispered, moving quicker.  
  
  
  
  
There was no replay to his frequent callings, and he was beginning to worry. How far could she have gone in the few minutes he was away? Hadn't she been asleep? Too many questions ran through his mind at one moment, and he started to panic.  
  
  
  
A hand grabbed his shoulder, and he turned, expecting to find the missing girl. Instead Romolus stood before him, his shirt misbuttoned and his eyes drooping from being tired.  
  
Imagine my surprise when I go to take a leak and find a bawling little girl scrunched up next to my toilet. he yawned, sounding very annoyed. Can't you keep your girlfriend from crying this late at night?  
  
Sighing in his own state of agitation, Remus shook his head. Rom, she is _not_-  
  
You're blind, then. Romolus gently exclaimed, smiling quite suddenly. He slung and arm around his brother's shoulders, and edged him on to walk with him.  
  
Moony, she knows you care, and _I_ know you care, so will you please see it yourself?  
  
If she's in your bathroom crying, then-  
  
He started off, but was pulled back again.  
  
One, you're totally avoiding my statement. Two, give her a little time to be alone. From what I gathered she's upset as much as hell is hot.  
  
Remus nodded, breaking free and settling into one of the sofa chairs, a rare luxury for such a home.  
  
I need you to go into work tomorrow. he announced rather dismally.  
  
It's Christmas, for God's sake! Why, for the sake of everything, do you want me to go in? Romolus gapped, stopping short of sitting down.  
  
There's a man here that causes a lot of trouble for Rhint. I had thrown him out of the city once before, and the Ministry must have gotten to him, he ended up at the relocation center. If he stays in the Underground any longer, he's going to hurt someone, or kill Rhint. That's why she's upset. Remus explained, closing his eyes.  
  
Damn, little brother, you sure do have a knack for finding trouble. Romolus said with a grim smile and shake of his head. And somehow, you always pull me in.  
  
Yo should probably go to bed. Remus suggested. There's a lot for you to do tomorrow.  
  
You know, Shelly was supposed to come here with our things. This really does ruin my plans.  
  
Can't be helped.  
  
He nodded once, and left for his bedroom. In the silence Remus could hear the girl crying, her sobs echoing through the thin walls.  
  
I hate holidays. he muttered.  
  
  
  
Why do you have to leave so soon?  
  
Yeah, when're you gonna come stay with us forever?  
  
Smiling down at the not-so-small twins, Remus shrugged lightly, feeling a tugging pain in his chest. I don't know, but I will someday. If Dad will let me, that is.  
  
He shot a glance to Caleb, who stood a few feet behind the pair, a placid frown in place.  
  
It's your life, who am I to tell you what to do with it? he answered softly. If you want to throw away any real opportunities, be my guest. I've given up trying, really.  
  
Meaning after graduation, you'll inform all guards to shoot me on the spot. Remus chuckled as the twins grabbed at his hands, wanting to play before he had to go away again. He gave them each one final swing in a circle, depositing them in a mud puddle the readily enjoyed.  
  
He waved, bidding the small group of new arrivals a knowing smile as he walked on.  
  
Close to the newly-built well near his' home, he stopped. Grey eyes climbing slowly upwards, he looked to the top window, and watched a figure through the foggy window. Hunched up, knees drawn to chest, the silhouette showed him what he already knew.  
  
I'm sorry I couldn't help you. he whispered to the shadow, tearing himself away. But I'm still here... Even when I'm not.  
  
  
  
  
  
_You seem unsettled, little one. What can be the matter?  
  
_I don't think you'd understand, Shebea. Remus sighed. The wolf nuzzled up next to him, resting her weight against his leg. Absently Remus began to scratch at the space between her ears, careful to avoid old wounds he knew to be there.  
  
_I may not be human, little wolf, but I understand a great deal. Is it not best to tell of troubles rather than holding them inside? Loneliness is never good for one's being.  
  
_I'm not lonely anymore. Remus said, his voice drawn out and fusing into the thousand tones with the sounds of the forest. I'm just tired.  
  
_Then why not sleep?_ the wolf growled, her whiskers brushing against Remus' hand, tickling his senses. She burrowed under it, and sought for him to resume his petting.  
  
I'm not tired like that. he mumbled, letting himself fall backwards onto the damp grass. I think I'm just a little exhausted with everything right now.  
  
_Is your pack well, then? Distrust there could be the problem._  
  
I don't have a pack', really. Well, you've seen my friends before, on the full moon.  
  
_The ones who follow you when you are wolf._ Shebea barked, wagging her tail eagerly. Obviously, she enjoyed Remus much more when he walked on four legs.  
  
They are my pack while I am here. Remus said, chuckling at how hard her tail was pounding against his leg. I have another, though.  
  
_That is unheard of. Two packs?_ she asked, her excitement fading. _Do they not find it traitorous that you are alpha to different fellows?_  
  
In a way, I suppose they might. I am more torn by it than they are. You see, there is no taboo on alpha males leading only one pack with humans. We do, however, have a fickle emotion called jealousy.  
  
_I do not understand._ she barked, her bottomless eyes wide with wonder.  
  
When one male takes more females than is acceptable, would the females not begin to feel uneasy?  
  
_But of course. They will fight amongst each other for possession of the male. It is our birthright to do such.  
  
_That is similar to jealousy. My friends here feel that I leave them out at times, as do the people from my other pack.  
  
Your other pack, whom I very much need to meet.  
  
Shebea backed away, her teeth bared at the intruder. After a brief moment of confusion, however, the hair on her back settled and her tail gave an approving thump.  
  
_She is the one with forest eyes._ the wolf barked.  
  
Apprehensively, Lily knelt down, and offered her hands. It was sniffed, and accepted with a lick.  
  
I hope I'm not interrupting anything. she said with a playful grin, tucking her skirt under her as she sat down. I thought you might be out here... Always the same place.  
  
Remus nodded, looking out across the familiar lake waters and the ever-present reflection of the moon.  
  
Hardly anyone comes here, the wolf calls frighten them off I suppose. he said.  
  
Lily started, leaning forward and interrupting his line of vision. I'm worried about you, sometimes. You never let us know what you're thinking, how you're doing.  
  
Still staring out at the water, Remus shrugged minutely.  
  
I'm alright Lily, I just have a lot on my mind right now. he said.   
  
Yeah, I figured that, what with you leaving before dinner. was the rather sharp reply.  
  
Cheeks tinting red, Remus apologized hastily. I'm sorry, really. There's just a lot of problems at my other home right now, I had to be there to take care of everything.  
  
What about you? Lily asked, stopping him short. Her eyes flashed, and she had a sort of angry flare about her. When do you _ever_ take time to care for yourself? You're too busy trying to save all these other people and tend to everyone but you!  
  
You wouldn't understand. Remus said, sighing deeply. Shebea shifted uneasily, and eventually resettled down in-between the two students, though she made a habit to pat her tail against Remus' leg every so often in an encouraging manner. I've had to take care of myself for a long time, Lily, I never had the family you're blessed with. Sure, Romolus was there, but there was only so much he could do. I'm dependent on myself, and myself alone.  
  
You don't have to be that way anymore. Lily said, shaking her head. We're all here for you now, don't you see that?  
  
S'after curfew.  
  
The pair looked up, as well as a very displeased wolf, to find Ms. Horder walking towards them. Or rather, stumbling.  
  
It's one in the morning, what are you doing out here? Remus asked, wondering why his Dark Arts professor was out in the wood.  
  
'S the day fore classesssss. What else? M getting drunk. she replied unevenly, her legs threatening to give out. Stifling a laugh, Lily helped her to the ground before she toppled backwards into the lake.  
  
Mm... Really makes a good Mai Tai. she said, holding up her glass and staring at the shining liquid.  
  
Lily inquired, still trying not to chuckle.   
  
Mm. Professor Forson.  
  
Remus gapped. You mean, he's back? I thought he had been drafted!  
  
Ms. Horder shook her head, locks of hair falling into her rosy face. Nah. They let the ol' boy back, seein' as the others quit.  
  
Why did they quit? Lily asked, smiling when Ms. Horder nearly spilled the remains of her drink on herself with a hiccup.  
  
Ah, they're all fightin' with -hup!- Albus over this war n all. The Min'stry is in a fit   
  
She stopped, staring at her cup again. How do they make the little umbrellas stay up? she pondered, curling her head under the cup rather than holding it up to investigate. Remus snatched the paper favor, and urged her to continue.   
  
Ministry, remember?  
  
Ah, that. Yeah, they're all bein' pissy gits about this whole thing. Most of them think Albus is some kinda nutter, worryin' and tryin' to rally the forces. Damn prats'll be crying when the fight comes their way, ha!  
  
But why is Forson back?  
  
Ah, says they got a little edgy bout him supportn' Albus. Kicked him out'r something.  
  
Remus and Lily glanced at each other, sporting quizzical looks. Again they tried to get more information, but ms. Horder was beyond hope. She had resorted to twirling the last sip of her drink, and laughing hysterically at her paper umbrella.  
  
We'd better get her back to her quarters before she decides to take a late-night dip in the lake. Remus said, standing up with a long sigh.  
  
Happy Holidays, eh? Well, I can't really complain. she said, grunting momentarily as she helped to pull the topsided professor upwards. It's never dull around you, is it Remus?  
  
If you say so.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- GAH! :: promptly screams :: I am SO fricking sorry this update took ages. Between life not giving me free time and computer access, and my nice ol' mental breakdown, it's been nearly impossible to get around to writing. I'd like to say the next update will be super-fast, but I can't guarantee anything. Many apologies!  
  
**Iggie  
  



	85. Part LXXXV Silence

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXXXV - Silence  
  
  
  
  
  
I can't believe it...  
  
That is _not_ Forson, no chance.  
  
What happened to him? He looks so different.  
  
Remus said nothing, one of the few people in the Great Hall not contributing to the massive wave of whispers that spread so thickly.   
  
I wonder why he changed so much. James mused. Remus noticed that he was frowning deeply, troubled by the professor's face.  
  
Indeed, he does look different, Remus thought. The old scars were still there, but somehow they looked more vibrant, striking in contrast against the pale skin. There was no menacing scowl, nor did he glare at the students who all had their focus upon him. He didn't glare at anyone, not even Ms. Horder, who kept nudging him in the side every few minutes to try and get him to talk.  
  
He looks tired. James said quietly, and his friends all agreed.  
  
Well, we have him first, so we'll know what's wrong before anyone else. Peter said nervously, not touching his breakfast.  
  
This could be interesting. Sirius said with a smirk.  
  
  
  
So how is it, sir? Remus asked quietly. The Gryffindors and Slytherins had been sitting in silence for over ten minutes, intently staring at the shadow of a man before them. All were curious to hear tales of war, of Ministry dispute, of the real situation they all had come to accept. Over the holiday, many families had been broken, and nearly all of the seventh year had returned with a different look on the world.  
  
He looked surprised that anyone had spoken, though to the students it was reassuring to see any sort of emotion on the man's face.  
  
It's war, Mr. Lupin, and everything is as to be expected. he said dryly, his voice sounding more distant than before.  
  
How so? Lily asked, not fearing the man any more.  
  
These very walls shall be the foundation for our very existence, Miss Evans. Professor Forson said slowly, tapping his fingers against one another, rolling them lightly. What is to become our history is your own future. Outside you will be faced with the task of shaping humanity, ultimately deciding the very fate of everyone involved.  
  
James and Sirius glanced at one another, then to an equally confused Peter. Remus paid them no mind, as he, unlike most everyone else, was caught in the speech.  
  
I doubt any of you even have a basic grasping of what is going on, even at this very moment, beyond the security of this school. he continued, his voice flowing out in a graceful yet oddly haunting monotone. Albus Dumbledore keeps you all safe from harm, and yet you don't feel that, do you?  
  
He can't protect us forever. a voice ventured. Remus smiled idly as Snape lifted his head up, not unsettled by the attention now on him. He's a fool if he believes he can keep the conflict away from us and out of sight.  
  
Something like anger flashed in Forson's dark eyes, and he moved forward, as if to lunge upon an enemy. he took in a breath, and nodded.  
  
Yes, he is wrong for trying to hide all the truth from you, though Albus Dumbledore is no fool. Mark my word by penalty of death, he said, sounding startlingly cold. This war is going to claim lives, more than any of you can comprehend.  
  
_We aren't going to live, are we?  
  
It's our duty to try.  
  
I'm... I'm scared, Caleb, for once I actually think...  
  
_Whether or not you're willing to accept it, battle is here, and this war is going to ruin the lives of every one of you.  
  
Cheerful bloke, isn't he? Sirius whispered, the other two nodding in agreement. Much to their dismay, Forson's eyes landed on them, and a flash of his old malice was exposed.  
  
You'll soon find that there is every little to be cheerful about in a what, Mr. Black. he said slowly. Staying close to those you can trust is the only way to salvage hope from an otherwise dark period of existence. But how to _trust_? You'll find that, already, those you could call friend have betrayed for the Dark.  
  
Remus wasn't sure anyone else had even noticed it, but he had with ease. There had been a definite holding of sight between Snape and Professor Forson for the briefest of moments. Both looked ready to pounce for the short second, though after, it was as if nothing had happened.  
  
Snape said promptly, his voice calm and level despite what Remus knew to be an enveloping fear in his mind.  
  
Forson replied, smiling minutely.   
  
There are Ministry bans on regulating the production of that, sir, as I'm sure you know. Remus mumbled.  
  
The Ministry is refusing to believe that there is a Dark power growing on their grounds, Mr. Lupin. If the Minister and his followers would open their eyes and see this, he went on, snapping off every word like a curse. then I am quite sure they would be encouraging the production of this particular potion.  
  
Lily's hand went up again, though hesitantly. Sir? Isn't it extraneously difficult to brew Veritaserum?  
  
Yes, Miss Evans, it is quite a daunting task. There are very few wizards in Britain that are up to the task. he replied, stopping to crack his knuckles. The sound was very unnerving, echoing through the dimly lit dungeon. If that quota is not raised, though, I'm afraid the art will be lost. And besides, my dear class, your very lives may depend upon the knowledge of who is worthy of your trust, or discovering a traitor amongst your ranks.  
  
A twisted smile crossed his scarred face, and with that, he turned to the board and the throng of students began to scramble for parchment and quills.  
  
  
  
His brain must have been fuddled with by the Ministry. James whispered, pretending to take notes as Professor Flitwick went over the final course testing for those partaking in the N.E.W.T.S. Remus was trying feverently to listen, as he had neglected preparation lectures all year and felt rather guilty now that the deadline was approaching.  
  
All the Professors seem a little off now. Sirius answered back. I guess with all the extra work they must be doing for Dumbledore has cut their time down.  
  
How do you know all this? Remus asked, curious enough to drop his attention. It was a rhetoric question, though, as he knew the answer.  
  
Invisibility Cloak, you know, that dandy ol' thing we've had how long now? Really Moony, I told you not to eat those pastries Peter brought us.  
  
So, that's why all the classes were integrated again. Remus mumbled to himself. N.E.W.T.S. preparation is going to be impossible now that I'm back in the standard class.  
  
I'll bet all the Ravenclaws had a field day when they found out. Peter mused.  
  
Everyone's having a field day about it. Remus said, pointing to the Head Table. The Professors were all fighting amongst each other, and Dumbledore was powerless to cease their bickering. Or, at least he _was_ until he decided to intervene magically. The Masters of Arts rose out of their seats, to the amusement of the Great Hall, and shut up immediately.  
  
Well, that done, how about we start supper? he said in a strained cheerful voice, his smile not fooling Remus at all.  
  
Oooh, roast! Sirius said with a sheepish grin, stabbing a plank of meat and slopping it to his plate. The rest of the Gryffindors followed suit, as well as most everyone else.  
  
Again, however, Remus found a secluded Slytherin to be thinking again. he had separated himself from the thinning mass of his peers (more than one seventh year Slytherin had not returned from vacation) and he was slipping intent looks towards the Professors.  
  
What's he up to? Remus wondered, and no sooner did he finish his sentence, Snape turned to look at him.   
  
His eyes flashed for a moment, narrowing slightly. He mouthed something, though Remus couldn't understand. Eyebrows furrowed, he motioned for an explanation. Snape shook his head, frowning, and quickly slipped out of the Great hall unnoticed.  
  
I'll be back in a moment. Remus said, though the Marauders took no care of his leave.  
  
What do you want? he asked, pausing in front of a statue of a very crooked old witch outside the double doors.  
  
It seems that most of the school understands nothing. Snape said lightly, his face set. You, however, it appears you recognize all of this.  
  
I've had to face aspects of this war even you haven't seen. Remus answered, swallowing, his throat dry. But you're right, I'll admit... No one wants to see how bad it is.  
  
They're only aware of it if a Black Write comes bearing their family's name. Snape muttered.  
  
Remus listened as he complained about all the problems with the student body, wondering constantly why Snape had turned to him for conversation. Had they not been sworn enemies since the start? It was tradition for all Gryffindors to despise those of the green and silver. James, though, had found that to be rubbish. And on more than one occasion Snape _had_ helped him, however reluctant he was. His confusing habit of pretending those scarce incidents had never happened continually bemused the him.  
  
Is your House collapsing? he asked after a moment, looking through the slit in the doors to the Great Hall. His eyes rested on the Slytherin table, where a select few were ousted at the far end, alone and quiet.  
  
It's been collapsing for centuries. This war is just another excuse for us to divide once and for all.  
  
Do you really think it will come to that? he asked, even as the other Slytherin's shot sneers to the outcasts.  
  
Our entire heritage, our very foundation, was brought on by the unstable foundation of Dark and Light magic. Salazar Slytherin was not an evil man, though granted he did not have very solid loyalties to pure Light magic. A House that is brought up on that quavering balance cannot last long, and I'm surprised we were not exiled decades ago. There has long since been the notion of removing Slytherin from Hogwarts altogether, and even now, the Ministry pushes for it. Snape said sadly, nodding his head to the doors. Now, there only remain four Slytherins of age that have not defected. Among all the other Houses, we are by the vast majority bound to the Dark Arts and those who wish to control. This war could bring about our end.  
  
And you need me to help you. Remus said, smiling very cleverly. Snape shrugged, and did not react to the look of amusement he faced.  
  
You are not afraid of us, even Potter is and his girlfriend is one of the four loyal to Dumbledore. Since we met in third year, you have shown a different side to me. We may hate each other, Remus Lupin, though I know we share a level of respect.  
  
Nodding, Remus extended his hand. Snape looked at it quizzically, his own remaining firmly in his deep pockets.  
  
A temporary truce, to tie off our loathing and House prejudice until things will settle.  
  
And if they never do?  
  
Well, one day, we may meet again on the battlefield. Consider this a pact to let the other live.  
  
Chuckling to himself, Snape grasped his hand, though he let go as if burned.  
  
This does not change the fact that I see you as a filthy beast.  
  
Nor does it alter the fact that you are a slimy git and an incompetent wizard at most everything practical.  
  
We shall see, Lupin, we shall see.  
  
  
  
James, what are you doing?  
  
He had been studiously pouring over his parchment for hours, scribbling furiously and crumpling up the paper to start over at unequal intervals. Already he had gone through the majority of his ink bottle, and snapped three quills as well.  
  
Trying to write. he grumbled angrily, pounding his fist down.   
  
Sirius said with a roll of his eyes. Really, we had no idea that your actions indicated some form of written language.  
  
_What_ are you writing? Remus questioned.  
  
  
  
You're writing the Ministry?  
  
_TO_ the Ministry, you great prat! he snapped, and Peter backed off, looking offended.  
  
James, calm down. Remus interrupted, slowly taking the quill from his friend's hand. You're going to go neurotic at this rate.  
  
So why are you writing to them, anyway? Sirius asked, winking at a pack of three girls that strode by. They hurried off in a giggling frenzy, shooting him looks from across the Common Room.  
  
I'm cutting off my funding. he snapped, still glaring furiously at his letter.  
  
Why? Isn't that a bit sudden?  
  
He dug into his pocket, and proffered a thick piece of parchment to Remus.  
  
_To the address of Mr. James Potter and co._  
  
Who's and company'?  
  
There are a few other people that have partial investments in my inheritance. he said, tearing up his letter and tossing it into the fireplace. It erupted into a green cackle, and died off with a loud boom that sent several first years from their seats.  
  
  
  
_In the light of recent events, it has come to our attention that your funding will need to be shifted from certain fields. As you may be aware of, there is a minor conflict involving a few Dark mages that the Ministry is taking care of,_  
  
Taking care of my foot. Peter said from behind, leaning on the back of the chair as he read. Bloody lot of paper-filing slobs wouldn't recognize a war if it erupted in their office space.  
  
_and it will be necessary to move your financial attention elsewhere. Associates of ours have discovered that you are providing care for Headmaster Albus Dumbledore and several other sanctions at Hogwarts School. It would be in the better interest of your money going to good use, and for the benefit of our society as a whole. Without your funding we will not be able to fully supply our Aurors, and I doubt you would like that under your hat, good sir. We would appreciate the immediate transferal of all Hogwarts-related funding to our accounts.  
  
Thank you for your time and cooperation,  
_  
_Pilar Cervius Hall, courtesy of the Ministry of Magic Department of Finances and Funding._  
  
That's pathetic! Remus said, frowning deeply. They're rather commanding that you stop supporting Dumbledore, and they didn't do it too subtly either.  
  
James said, finally setting his quill down. And you know what? I don't think I can express me utter rage at this in words.  
  
He stood up, and began to walk up towards their dormitory.  
  
Where are you going? We have Transfiguration in twenty minutes! Peter called.  
  
McGonnagal can sod off for all I care. he snapped back, continuing up the staircase. I'm going to see this Pilar Cervius Hall' and all his ruddy pals at the Ministry. Dumbledore at least will appreciate the Galleons he'll be getting, anyway.  
  
  
  
Let it go Peter, he's made up his mind. Remus said with a suppressed laugh.  
  
But, he can't just... He can't Apparate, I mean, aren't there wards? _Can_ he Apparate, I mean-  
  
Look, Peter. Sirius said, slinging an arm around the boys scrunched shoulders. James has more money than you can comprehend. Learn to accept the fact that with enough Galleons, it doesn't matter how many wards Dumbledore has around this castle.  
  
If James wants to leave and speak with the Ministry, he's going to to. Remus finished with a small grin.  
  
  
  
Where is Mr. Potter? Professor McGonnagal asked shrewdly, walking swiftly to their table and standing, hands on her hips and wand in hand, with an ugly frown.  
  
He went to go over his financial support with the Ministry. He should be back in about an hour.  
  
Very amusing, Mr. Black, but I'm afraid your prowess at covering for your class-skipping companions is dying away. she snapped. Now, where might I find Mr. Potter? I need to go over your pre-exams for the N.E.W.T.S. and he needs to be here. Where might I find him?  
  
Smiling, Remus joined in. Like Sirius said, Professor, he's at the Ministry. If you really need to contact him, you'd be best to ask for the Department of Finances and Funding.  
  
I wouldn't expect this sort of childish behavior from you, Mr. Lupin, of all people. McGonnagal said with her lip curled down in agitation. I had always figured you the more reasonable of the lot, really now.  
  
She stormed off, tired of trying, and proceeded to snap at anyone in the class who appeared to be off-task.  
  
In the back of the room, the three Marauders laughed to themselves, another battle won.  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Wow. I'm really sorry for the delays. I can't help it, and all I have to say for myself is... Well, crap everyone, there's nothing I CAN say. I'm mentally broken right now, so don't expect another update for a while, it could be a week or two or three, I'm sad to say.  
  
More news when I can think coherently.  
  
**Iggie, who needs a vacation and some really strong liquor at the moment   
more than anything else she can think of. That, and some sanity. But  
dammit, the liquor is cheaper. Sigh.  
  
  
  
**READER RESONSE:  
  
EVERYONE- Thanks for reviewing, it keeps me going more than you know.  
  
goldensnigdet AKA snitch: Nope, I'm not Japanese. My only childhood friends were, though, and I happen to have an extreme obsession with Japanese anime. Hence all my tidbits, I know the language to some level. Fully an American mut, I am... :)**


	86. Part LXXXVI A Forbidden Loyalty

  
  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXXXVI - A Forbidden Loyalty  
  
  
  
  
  
I can't take this anymore. Remus groaned, rolling over on his side and looking up at the top of his four-poster. If I have to read one more word about Veritaserum I'm going to flip.  
  
I still find it hard to believe that he's actually having us brew it. James mumbled, his eyes red and glazed as he read through a thick volume on his bed.  
  
I don't. Peter snapped. That guy is-  
  
Yes Pete, we know. He's the work of Satan himself. Sirius said with a smile, having finished his reading the night before. He was positively delighted to see everyone else working tirelessly while he scribbled in modifications to the Marauders Map.  
  
Look, he's _clearly_ violating more than a handful of Ministry regulations- laws even- that are punishable by-  
  
You worry about rules too much. Sirius said with a shrug.  
  
Tearing himself away from the text, Remus frowned at his friend. You know, Padfoot, he's right. Forson could land himself in Azkaban for this.  
  
Peter squeaked, obviously afraid he would join his least-favourite professor behind the bars.  
  
Relax, you skitty little rat, no one's sending you to Azkaban. Sirius said with a chuckle. That is, well, unless they find out about Wormtail.  
  
Hey, if I g-go you're all c-coming with me!  
  
The three laughed with good heart, and tossed a barrage of pillows to the paranoid Gryffindor.  
  
How you made it to be a Lion is beyond me, Pete. Sirius mused as his pillow burst into a whirlwind of feathers.   
  
Where else would he go?  
  
No clue. Remus agreed, deciding Veritaserum could sod off for the night.  
  
  
  
And what would be the end result of diluting the serum to a grey shade, rather than blue, Mr. Lupin?  
  
He knew that Remus didn't know the answer, and still he persisted. No one else in the classroom was certain, except for Snape, and he even received pitying stares from the Slytherins behind him.   
  
Whatever portion of Professor Forson that was civil on arrival had long since disappeared, it seemed.  
  
I don't know, sir. he replied in defeat.  
  
Ten points from your House, then. And I'll see you after class, Mr. Lupin, obviously you have not been doing your required reading.  
  
Nodding, not feeling up to the fight, Remus accepted the injustice.  
  
He's such a bastard. Sirius mumbled.  
  
Mr. Black, you may join him.  
  
he cursed, forgetting that the man could hear where his elder professors could not. And we have Quidditch practice tonight...  
  
Is that all you care about? Peter asked shakily, glad to have avoided the detention string.  
  
We have a match tomorrow! he offered, frowning as he took notes on the proper way to dilute the blood of a white gospel newt. Against Ravenclaw, you see, it determines who plays Slytherin next.  
  
We'll just have to practice in the morning.  
  
_You_ have class, remember? James pointed out. Remus blinked for a moment, then let his head fall with a sharp thud' to the desktop.  
  
No, I didn't. he grumbled.  
  
It isn't our fault you opted to take so many N.E.W.T.S. Peter said, scribbling again when Forson shot him a glance.  
  
Not our fault you're a stupid git. Sirius said under his breath. Remus was sure the comment had been heard, however, because his better hearing caught a remark about someday and revenge.  
  
  
  
Hey, Remus! Care to come down to Hogsmeade with us?  
  
Startled, he turned around wondering who had called him. To his great surprise, there was a group of very pretty seventh years coming around a corner, smiling directly at him.  
  
Er, me?  
  
How many other Remus' are in this school? one of the Ravenclaws laughed.  
  
A blonde girl, Hannah, shrugged. We thought you might enjoy a butterbeer, it's on us. Madame Rosmerta is trying a new recipe tonight.  
  
Um, well... he stammered, loosing his composure. Fool!, he thought to himself. Don't pass this chance!  
  
I kind of have detention, with professor Forson.  
  
The five girls made identical faces of sympathy and disgust.  
  
Did Sirius get you in trouble again? a brunette asked with a catty grin, one that was very disturbing.  
  
Well, we both pulled it on ourselves, you see. he said, knowing his face was a ridiculous shade of crimson by now.  
  
Will you out in too long? Hannah asked again, obviously wishing for his company more than the others.  
  
Er, I can't say, really...  
  
Shouldn't be too long, you know. We usually cause more damage than we should down there.  
  
The girls burst into a fit of giggling as Sirius hopped down from a tunnel behind a high-hung painting and landed on his rear.  
  
Rubbing his backside, Sirius returned the grins. How about we meet you at nine?  
  
It's a date! the blonde said with delight, rushing off with her friends. As they passed, Hannah went red and whispered something very new to Remus.  
  
I... I... Uh-  
  
Lighten up, Moony. Sirius said with a woot. What's a little harm in some fun? You're seventeen, really. Why not?  
  
Still flabbergasted, he didn't answer, simply standing in place as if petrified.  
  
Oh, come off it. Sirius mumbled, rolling his eyes. We're going to be late if you don't hurry on.  
  
Five minutes and several corridors later, Remus was still contemplating what the girl had whispered.  
  
Are you _sure_ that they meant- I mean, really, I may have just heard it wrong- How could she possibly think that _I_-  
  
  
  
Sirius stopped suddenly, and crept around the final corner in the dungeons. The hallway lights were flickering softly, and he expertly dimmed them to ease his shadow away.  
  
Motioning for Remus to join him, he slid to the other side of a tapestry across from Forson's doorway.  
  
Someone in there. he mouthed, pointing.  
  
Indeed, someone was in there.  
  
Do you honestly think that these kids aren't going to abuse its use? You've practically laid it out for them!  
  
Exactly, Celia, exactly! came the delighted hiss that only belonged to the Potions Master.   
  
That's horrible.  
  
Why do you say such a thing? Surely you aren't curious to see where their loyalties will fall.  
  
Is that what this is all about? Miss Horder snapped, her voice tart. Just a little continuation with your war against the Ministry? I'm none too pleased with them myself, but I haven't resorted to engaging my students in illegal activities.  
  
Obviously she doesn't know the law too well. Sirius whispered to himself, smiling as the display went on.  
  
It's so much more than that! the man tallied back. I am not so petty as to do this solely to aggravate the Ministry when they're too weak to oppose.... No, Celia, there is much more to this.  
  
Remus shivered, suddenly disturbed by the tone.  
  
Our students are going to decide this war, they're going to decide the fate of humanity itself! The Dark Lord will soon rise to power, and we will be helpless to stop him. It will be the students! Their generation will have the power to shape this battle into what they will it to!  
  
  
  
They need to know the truth _now_! His voice was slipping, too urgent as he could not speak quickly enough. Who among them will truly be on the Light side of the teetering war? Who will slip the side of the blade? They deserve the chance to not make a mistake-  
  
Something slammed down on a table, and Professor Forson stopped. Through the narrow crack in the door, Remus could see him backing away.  
  
You may have issues with trust, my friend, but you are manipulating these _children_ in a way I do not see fit.  
  
Come now, Celia, you are their Defense instructor. You owe it to them to ensure their safety-  
  
They are people facing a thin balance. Like all others in the world, they will have to decide their allies _as they will_. I will not have you choosing for them.  
  
Veritaserum will show them the truth, it will reveal all there is to know about those they distrust! They will make the right decision only then!  
  
Again he shivered, though this time in fear. All there is to know? The school would fear him more than the traitorous Slytherin if they knew his true identity.  
  
He waited, watching more intently than Sirius would understand.  
  
You want their lives exploited? Miss Horder asked, quietly but still fierce. Nothing will be hidden if you let this continue. Many will be hurt by this, destroyed before they have a second chance. You're going to expose the lives of some who deserve the right to hide it.  
  
He swallowed. She knows it, she means me... Please, let her stop this...  
  
You are acting out of emotion, Celia. That is not in your training. Forson said back. Miss Horder walked out of the small field of vision, though Remus figure she had taken a seat a one of the student desks.  
  
I wont deny that. she said after a moment. I hated school as a child, not so many years ago, really. I was the highest class when the seventh years started Hogwarts, they may even know me.  
  
But not for what you were. What you tried to hide-  
  
Do you think I had a choice? she snapped vehemently. No... Nor more than you could chose your appearance.  
  
They never knew the truth then, things would have been different-  
  
Miss Horder snapped into view again, and she put her hands around Forson's neck. To the pair of Gryffindor's great surprise, she lifted him off the ground, not visibly straining.  
  
I will never regret what has become of me. she whispered. Remus looked over, wondering if Sirius could hear now. His gaze was locked; surely, then.  
  
I was raised by a great man, despite what they said behind my back. And I will never regret my parentage, I care not for the cold stares I receive still today! It was not a choice, and I will _never_ feel the hatred!  
  
She let him go, her face flushed with anger. Forson, however, looked as though nothing had happened.  
  
They deserve to know the true identity of those they consider allies. he said quietly, turning away. I am sorry you disagree, whether it be for the boy or in all honesty. I will not change my actions.  
  
You're a coward. Miss Horder said, grabbing her cloak from a chair. This is all just an easy way for you to fulfill your experiments. I'll have nothing of it.  
  
She stormed out of the room so suddenly the boys barely had time to duck behind the tapestry. For a moment, Remus thought she had seen them, as she stopped and looked around before taking off once more.  
  
The staff has lost it. Sirius muttered, motioning for Remus to follow him to detention. Bunch of nutters...  
  
At least they keep it interesting.  
  
  
  
Do you think he'll notice if we leave? Sirius asked quietly, his voice barely audible over the grinding of his brush against the dungeon floors.  
  
Probably not. Remus figured, looking up. Professor Forson was behind his desk, asleep behind yesterday's copy of _The Daily Prophet_.  
  
Want to go see if Hannah was really just pulling your leg? Sirius asked with a wicked grin plastered across his grim-covered face.  
  
Going red, Remus forced himself to concentrate on his cleaning.  
  
We'll never sneak out of here undetected. he mumbled, gritting his teeth.  
  
Oh-ho! Is fair Moony losing faith in the Great Marauders?  
  
Rolling his eyes, but smiling, Remus stopped grinding his brush against the tile floor.  
  
What's the plan? he asked, giving up.  
  
Sirius grinned in delight, and pat him on the back.  
  
I knew you'd stay with us. We had our doubts in the beginning, Moony, but thank God you stayed with us.  
  
  
  
Sorry it took so long, ladies. Sirius sid, brushing back his hair habitually as he took a seat. The pack had decreased in numbers, now left only to hannah and the other giggling blonde girl, who was still chuckling to herself just from Sirius' presence.  
  
Remus sat down, feeling slightly unnerved by what he had been thinking about for the past hour and a half. Hannah's cheerful and playful flashes of smiles weren't helping his nerves.  
  
So, Moony here wanted to know if you were serious bout earlier. Sirius began, though he stopped when Remus glared at him.  
  
The girls started giggling again.  
  
He looked around, regretting ever stepping foot in the pub. Madame Rosemerta was behind the bar, cleaning out several mugs. No escape there. Very few students were left at the tables, most having cleared out for the closing shops or school.  
  
Damn it, I need a way out...' he mused, trying to look calm. Hannah smiled again, and he found himself sinking low in the chair.  
  
  
  
Delighted, he turned around, and for the first time in ages he was thrilled to see Severus Snape standing in the doorway.  
  
We need to talk. he said icily, his beetle eyes flicking to the two girls. They stopped giggling.   
  
Sorry, business to take care of. he said with mock disappointment, hurriedly exiting the pub.  
  
Thank God. he mumbled to himself, exhaling. You couldn't have better timing.  
  
This isn't a leisure call or mission to save you from whatever petty misery you were undertaking. Snape said irritably. He was looking around sharply quite often, and urging Remus to step into the alley next to the bar.  
  
I take it you need my help, now.  
  
Well, I had no idea a Gryffindor could be so swift.  
  
So what was so important that you called upon a lowly Lion for support? Remus asked, following suit as Snape pulled his hood up.   
  
Snape was frowning, thoroughly out off by something.   
  
You need _my_ help brewing something? Remus asked, almost laughing. I would think that you, of all people, would know of my sheer incompetence on the manner of potion brewing. Come now, you mock me daily of it.  
  
I know of no one else who has such frequent detentions with Forson, and I am sad to admit that your skills as a thief must be polished at this point.  
  
Ah, so it's ingredients you require. Remus said with a nod. Well, anything that needs to be taken, I can probably manage.  
  
I need them quickly. Snape said, still frowning. he was withholding information, that Remus knew, but he didn't ask.  
  
How soon?  
  
Tonight, by midnight. The potion needs to be brewed no later.  
  
Something clicked in the back of his head, and an image flashed of the dungeon's blackboard.  
  
You're making Veritaserum, aren't you?  
  
Well, you really are quick to the uptake. Snape said dryly, smiling to himself in amusement. Honestly, sometimes I believe you were unfit to be Sorted to Gryffindor.  
  
Forson is going to notice, and I'll be damned if he doesn't know why such certain ingredients would be stolen.  
  
It matters not. he replied, shrugging minutely. Our beloved House Master has lost some of his sanity to the war, and I very well believe he'll be delighted that I'm brewing something outrageously illegal on my own.  
  
Shaking his head, Remus chuckled, silently agreeing.  
  
Well, I'll head back then. I was in detention with him and snuck out. Might as well go back. If he wakes up while I'm in there he wont suspect a thing...  
  
Snape narrowed his eyes, and pressed his pale lips thin. I'll tell you what I'm using the potion for later. Now is not the time.  
  
Remus nodded, drew his hood tighter about his face, and departed for the candy store's passageway to the school.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Wow, I'm not dead. Isn't it amazing? I can't explain what's been happening lately, and I don't want to start, so I'm going to give a brief sum. My life is taking a loop right now, and I'm officially calling a break. Hate to disappoint, but SG will be on extended delay. This might change, but I can guarantee there will be no regular updates for a month or longer. Sorry for the shock of this, but most of you knew it was coming.  
  
**Iggie


	87. Part LXXXVII Persevere

A/n- Ohmigod, really. :)  
  
Disclaimer- I own nothing but that which I do. Try that one, eh?  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXXXVII - Persevere  
  
  
  
  
Hey Moony, are you alright?  
  
He looked up, startled at the intrusion to his thoughts. Realising it was only Sirius, he nodded, and let out a long sigh.  
  
Just thinking, that's all.  
  
We've been looking for you for a while, you know. You skipped dinner again. Sirius said as he sat down, shoving Remus over to make room on the cold stone bench. Is something bothering you again?  
  
Shaking his head, Remus tried to force away his somber look. The year's ending, Sirius, and I guess I don't want to face the aftermath.  
  
We all gave to graduate. Sirius said lazily, skipping stones into the lake before him. I don't really want to either, but it isn't like I can change that.  
  
It's not so much just graduating. Remus started,pursing his lips for a moment. After this year, most everyone is going to go get a job, marry, or join for the war... I'm going to have to fight for the Underground, and...  
  
Not ready for it yet, eh? Sirius mused, nodding his head. Look Moony, I can't possibly hope to understand what you're going through. I'd be wrong if I said I did, and I wont lie to you like that. But know that, hell, me and James and Peter are always going to be there to help you, no matter what battles you face. We'll be behind you.  
  
Remus said nothing, continuing to stare out across the ashy waters. ABove, the crest of moon cast it's reflection down, the brim of white rippling as the giant squid below disturbed the calm.  
  
I just don't know what to do. he admitted, the words tasting like fire.  
  
How so?  
  
After Hogwarts is over, I don't have any choice but to return to the Underground. My brother is there now, and... Caleb wants me to take over. He's been subtle about it before, but now, I know I'm going to have to command the order there. I just don't think I'm ready to try and save so many people.  
  
Sirius put a hand on his shoulder. Looking up, Remus noticed that his mischievous glint had vanished, and in it's place, there was a solemn boy not often seen.  
  
Remus, no one's expecting you to save the world. he said gently. It may seem like it to you, but they'll never force that duty onto you. You can command and conquer the curse when you're good and ready. We don't expect you to do any different... I may not live there, and I may not be a werewolf, Remus, but I understand that much. You have all the time in the world.  
  
It doesn't feel like it. His head hung down, and it seemed a burden to open his eyes again. Every time I try to do anything, I get shot down... It seems like I'm moving backwards. Sirius, I really don't think I can last much longer. Before, I've always had Hogwarts to fall back on. What's to happen to me when it's gone?  
  
He shook his head, unable to meet the icy gaze. Sirius had no answer, nobody had an answer. I don't know Remus, but you'll figure it out eventually. Things are going to change, sure, but really. We'll always be there.  
  
The phrase echoing through his mind, Remus nodded, and closed his eyes. I hope so.  
  
  
  
No, dammit, you're letting yourself open for attack!  
  
Remus cringed as his professor yelled out, easily intimidating the Hufflepuff girl she was dueling.  
  
You have to block, alright? You're going to get yourself killed if you keep leaving your side free.  
  
She's really being harsh lately. James muttered, watching as the battle ensued. Must be because of the attacks again.  
  
Peter said, flinching as the girl was bested once again, and received another tell.  
  
James, Sirius and Remus all looked over curiously, wondering what their quiet friends knew.  
  
Well, I was out getting dinner from the kitchens yesterday- I had detention with Forson again, because of you- And I ran into them.  
  
James inquired, trying to pretend he was paying attention to the duel. No one fancied being caught distracted during class.  
  
Ms. Horder and Forson. Peter went on, swallowing slightly. She had come down to his office in a fit, she was yelling and crying and all... I hid myself in the storeroom, Forson had forgotten I was serving detention.  
  
Sirius smiled, and offered him a congratulations on a good job. Noticeably more cheerful, Peter went on.  
  
Remember that Asian man, Ryosuke, that she had brought in before for a lecture?  
  
Her adoptive father.' Remus reminded himself, nodding.  
  
She kept yelling about him, screamed his name over and over until Forson calmed her down. I think he was killed... He finished quietly, and looked up.  
  
Remus followed his gaze, and found Ms. Horder to be staring at the three of them. Her eyes were red, glowing with an inner hatred that made the Marauders shudder to themselves.  
  
Obviously, she had overheard them.  
  
Class, you may leave. she whispered, her tone shattered.  
  
Unsure of themselves, the throng waited, no one taking a single step towards the door until coaxed by her icy eyes once more. In silence, everyone hurried to their bags and filed through the door.  
  
Hold on, I left my scroll for Transfiguration. Remus said hastily, waving off his flustered friends in the hall.   
  
Doubling back, he crept into the room, slipping in the open door crack. She was still out in the dueling ring, though now crouched down, hugging her knees.   
  
She was right, she doesn't seem much older than us... Rom went to class with her. She's only a few years older than him.' He recalled from a forbidden conversation.  
  
I'm sorry. he said gently, setting his bag down. Biting his lip, he advanced, and waited until he was sure she wasn't going to hex him before he sat down in front of her. Cross legged and pensive, he nodded once. I know what it's like to lose people to the Dark.  
  
She looked up, and Remus' breath caught in his throat. Her eyes were... Unbelievable. The pupils had become nothing more than a pinhead of black against the most vibrant, icy-blue he had ever seen. It was unnaturally scary.  
  
  
  
The words wouldn't form, and he swallowed. He couldn't say anything to make the pain go away and he knew it.  
  
It's just... she started, tearing her eyes away and staring out the window. Funny, how often she never opened it, never allowing the light in. Remus hadn't noticed before.  
  
I'm so tired of this, Remus.  
  
We all are. he answered, not reacting to her using his first name. We've all lost so many people.  
  
First Andrew, and... Dell. she choked, the names coming out like forbidden curses. And now Father.  
  
He tensed, as she reached over and latched onto him. It was a forceful embrace, not something calm and soothing of two who cared, but of one desperate for a grip on reality. Slowly, he pushed her away.  
  
Grieving isn't going to make them come back. he said as clearly as he could. Nor will revenge.  
  
She stiffened, his hands still on her shoulders. Something flashed in the corner of her eyes, and she shut them quickly.  
  
My parents are with the Dark. she said through clenched teeth. They killed my family, my three sisters, when I was young. At the time I had been at training, with my sensei that lived down our street. Didn't know I was a witch, nor him a warlock. He didn't allow me to go home that night. Ms. Horder went on, her hands shaking, fumbling to clench her robes in anger. I never knew, they never even told me... Father took me in and trained me not only in the martial arts, but in the other arts as well. At Hogwarts, everyone knew my name, because of my parents, because of their killing spree for seven years...  
  
Remus nodded, wondering why she was carrying on so in his presence. It wasn't like the collected woman to ramble her life story to a student.  
  
I had to change my name and go into hiding, there was only so much Ryosuke could do. When I graduated, and finished my Auror training...  
  
You wanted to kill them? he finished, shaking her shoulders gently. She had closed her eyes and had begun to rock back and forth like a weeping child, an image she was holding many semblances to.  
  
A mere nod confirmed this.  
  
And Andrew...  
  
They could never find me, so they did the next best thing. she whispered, slumping forward. Remus held her upright, not know what to do.  
  
All these years, everyone around me has died because my parents let me slip. And now, I... Nothing left...  
  
  
  
Remus looked up, and was relieved to see that help had arrived. Standing in the distance behind the pair of professors, Peter nodded to his friend, receiving a knowing answer.  
  
The moment you think you have nothing to live for, Celia, Professor Forson said, kneeling down. His presence seemed different, much like it had during the beginning of the year. Gone was his maniacal gleam during Potions or the cold stares reserved for students. This was an alternate self not often let out. The moment you give in and throw it all away, they've won.  
  
Dumbledore put a hand on Remus' back, and eased him away.  
  
I think it's time you went to class, Mr. Lupin. And quietly as to not disturb the halls.  
  
Remus understood the subtle request, and gathered his things. last he looked, Professor Forson was embracing the sobbing young woman, while Dumbledore just stood in silence, shaking his head in defeat.  
  
How many more will be broken? Remus head the wise old man whisper as he slipped away into the idle halls.  
  
  
  
Ms. Horder was nowhere to be seen for the following week. A short, stocky man with hazy eyes had taken her place, demanding nothing of the class but their willingness to cooperate in the ring. During meals she was absent, her seat next to the Slytherin Head of house left absent.  
  
For once, the whole of the school held a singular respect. Even some of the Slytherins whose loyalties had been known to fade were sincerely sorry to see her gone.  
  
C'mon Remus, you have to tell us what's wrong. Sirius pestered with a frown, moving his steak about his plate in random patterns.  
  
Lay off it Padfoot, it isn't your business. Peter grumbled, his arms crossed. He hadn't been eating for some time, Remus noted. Sirius' taunts of him being the chubby little rat were beginning to go to his head. Horder will be back and she'll tell us when she's ready to. Leave Remus out of it.  
  
James nodded his agreement, and under the table, he squeezed Lily's hand.  
  
What if she turns out like some of the kids? the Slytherin asked, referring to more than one young boy or girl who had seemingly lost part of their awareness with a family one's death. They were often referred to as the living ghosts, though the House spirits had been testy to the nickname.  
  
Remus shrugged slightly, and swallowed a long gulp of his pumpkin juice. I don't think she'll be shattered like the rest of them. She was scared, yes, but she still had her spark of anger.  
  
He didn't let on to her hateful lust for revenge, though it was the sole reason he figured that his favourite Defense instructor would snap back. Her desire for justice was too strong for her to lose her mind.  
  
What's becoming of us? James asked wistfully, looking around the Great Hall. Students were silent, no jokes were being discussed, no Dungbombs going off in erratic succession. Worst of all, the professors seemed helpless, Dumbledore himself not finding the strength to smile with his normal vigor.  
  
We'll carry on alright. Sirius mused, trying to force some sort of encouraging face. Wars happen all the time, and we always live through it.  
  
I suppose so.  
  
He didn't look convinced.  
  
  
  
How is she?  
  
Professor Forson furrowed his eyebrows, displeased that he was being asked of such during class. He didn't sneer, however, or ignore the question as Remus had guessed he would.  
  
She should be fine in a couple of days. he said shortly, peering over the cauldron. He found nothing to criticize, and began to walk away.  
  
But if she has no family left, then...  
  
His eyes silence Remus, casting an eerie chill through his body.  
  
Do not think she is so fragile as to collapse because of this. he said coldly, some of the class catching the conversation and looking to one another in confusion. It is a mere setback. Life will go on, Mr. Lupin, as it does for everyone.  
  
He stepped away, his footsteps falling heavily on the cold stone floor.  
  
  
  
Remus turned, surprised that Snape had spoken out in such a way. It was a rarity, especially to the Slytherin's favourite professor.  
  
Something to share, Mr. Snape?  
  
The silencing glare did nothing to keep Snape from elaborating.  
  
You say that life will continue in such a way that the Light will go unharmed. You don't believe this, nor do you exercise such optimism. You expelled yourself from the very league of the highest-ranking defenders of Light magic.  
  
Behind him, Remus could feel his comrades stiffen. It was a sense he was well attune to, though he was sure everyone else could feel the obvious uneasiness of the room.  
  
Snape stood up, alone as the insurgent he had titled himself. He looked calm, unafraid to the opposing threats from his elder, though a wash of hatred emanated from him.  
  
Rather, Remus though, an aura of supreme disappointment.  
  
You back down from fighting the Dark rebellion. Why?  
  
Forson closed his eyes, and to the class' surprise, he didn't scorn the boy for such a blatant remark.  
  
Your Ministry has blind sighted itself to the actuality of this war. he said hatefully, his voice on the verge of cracking. And you... How _dare_ you even speak against me for not supporting the Light. There are those of muddled beast blood who are more pure than some of you may ever wish to be. Do not scorn those who oppose you.  
  
Remus swallowed, wondering whether he should be angry at the comment or relieved that at least one person trusted him of his loyalties.  
  
With all due respect, sir, Snape answered, his lips pressed thin. you do not know the entire story.  
  
  
Class was silent for the rest of the day, and everyone felt it a wonder that Hogwarts didn't become a battle front that morning.  
  
  
  
_I really don't understand how we're going to survive any longer like this, kid. The Ministry must be on to us, and to be honest I fear that we'll have to abandon the Underground here. No idea where we'd go... It seems that everywhere they have tabs out for our heads. We can't survive like this, kid, we all need you back here.   
  
Dammit Lupin, I can't run this anymore!   
  
It's unfair for you, I can't apologize enough, but we need you, now. Maybe if the situation changes with the war, we wont be so desperate. And if my damn leg ever heals... A cripple can't support a warring community. Every single person here is waiting for you.  
  
Hurry through school, alright? I'm not trying to force you out, but we have to get some advice. You're a tactical genius sometimes, even a replied strategy could save us. Not to worry you, kid, but we're on the edge of capture. Don't know where else to turn.  
  
Caleb  
_  
Remus folded the letter, his face tightened in pained thoughts.  
  
The Underground was falling apart.  
  
How am I going to stop this? I can't leave school to lead them. he mumbled to himself. Across the table, Sirius shook his head, reading the expression well enough to understand.  
  
They need you again, don't they? he asked quietly, not wishing anyone to overhear. It was deathly silent in the Great Hall, especially for a dinner so late in the year. Talks of vacations and exams had been extinguished weeks ago with ever news headline, every onslaught of Dark activity.  
  
he replied, trying to collect himself. He was shaking, though the chill of cold wind he felt did not exist to the others.  
  
We only have a few weeks to go, Remus. Try to work this through first. James suggested solemnly. To his side, Lily was leaning on his shoulder, fast asleep. It wasn't an uncommon sight anymore. Gently, James pushed a lock of hair from her face, donning a hopeful smile.  
  
We're going to be caught soon. Remus muttered. The Ministry is tracking every move we make, it wont be long-  
  
  
  
Sirius narrowed his eyes, watching as the small pack of Ravenclaws walked by. They were carrying a first-year, who had presumably keeled over in exhaustion. The fifth this week, Remus said to himself.  
  
Remus, you need to be careful. People are starting to say things-  
  
They've been saying it for years, Peter. he answered dully. The war's just an excuse for them to believe it.  
  
We just don't want you to get hurt, that's all. Sirius said, returning to his meal after a pensive moment. You risk a lot, and it can't be helped sometimes...  
  
Just looking out for you. James concluded.  
  
Nodding, Remus let out a sigh, and tucked the grim letter into his robe pocket.  
  
  
  
This is impossible.  
  
Well keep trying.  
  
I am, dammit, but you know I'm not any good for this. I was only supposed to handle getting the ingredients.  
  
Snape rolled his eyes, and didn't bother to cease his scoffing. Now's a fantastic time to make use of your incompetence, really. I applaud you for it.  
  
Bloody hell, do you want my help or not? He was very serious, and his tone seemed to get the point across. The agitated Slytherin bowed his head in unspoken apology, and went back to his own boiling cauldron.  
  
Remus understood that he was of little help, though going unappreciated was not helping the tension. There had been a slight wall between the two forced comrades since a previous encounter of Houses.  
  
Remus' note had slipped from his pocket, and though it contained nothing to incriminate him on his condition, it did leave him in a dark position.  
  
Rather, a Dark one.  
  
Who are you going to use this on? he muttered, trying to keep himself in full concentration as he measured countless vials of liquid. The fumes, the dizzying eddy of wafting smoke clouded his mind. The dim dungeon seemed foggy, as in a dream.  
  
He took in a deep breath, and closed his eyes for a moment.  
  
Anyone I suspect. Snape finally answered, aware of the Gryffindor's struggle to stand the conditions. They didn't seem to have any affect on him.  
  
Including me?  
  
Their eyes met, and Remus understood immediately that the thought had crossed his mind.  
  
he said slowly, still mildly unsure. Normally I would suspect such, but given your curse... He shook his head, frowned. I can assume what the letter really meant, but Lupin, you should watch your back. This is going to be like a plague to you.  
  
I just don't care anymore. If my life is going to fall apart, it will. It's been long overdue... Living on borrowed time simply doesn't work anymore.  
  
  
  
  
**A/n (prepare for a rant!)- **Erm, hello? God, I have a lot I need to say, but I don't want to risk sounding like a complete fool. So I'll start off with my most sincere apology ever.  
  
SORRY!  
  
How long has it been, two-three months? I don't know. Recently, I've had no perspective on real time anymore. A lot has happened, a lot that I'll spare you tale of, so writing this has been a huge challenge. The entire foundation that Seeing Grey was created from kind of crumbled beneath me, and it was hard to get into the mind to write anymore.  
  
To everyone, the only thing I can say is thank you. You've all been a huge play in this, this damn beast of a story, and I can't express enough how much it means.  
  
This is officially the re-Grand Opening of Seeing Grey. I may not be on a regular schedule like before, but that's life. I've accepted that now. You'll all have chapters as they come, on no set basis, but _they will come_. I promise right now to see this through to the inevitable end, and I won't abandon you all.  
  
So, on a lighter note. The reason this took so long is simple. Normally, I could handle my problems. I gave a projected return date of late September... Well, that came and went with a bang. A bad one, and a good one. To skip over it all and be my normal blunt self, I'm happy.  
  
Yes, I know. Gasp.  
  
Seeing grey might suffer a bit of a change since I can't be constantly depressed anymore, but eh, we'll see what happens. So until then, everyone...  
  
THANK YOU.  
  
And review, dammit! I need those again :)  
  
  
-Ignominious, who feels like such a grinning fool she can't even explain it.


	88. Part LXXXVIII We'll Follow

  
  
  
  
  
Part LXXXVIII - We'll Follow  
  
  
  
What do you mean our mail's being watched?  
  
James let ut a long, tired breath and shook his head.  
  
With most of the school knowing about that letter, they're suspicious about you being involved in the Dark.  
  
But what the hell does that have to do with you? Remus snapped, angry with himself. It was one thing for him to go down, but his friends...  
  
James closed his eyes, and tried to calm himself down. So they're checking on us, to make sure we aren't in with the wrong side... Remus, I pulled my funding, remember? They were already cautious then.  
  
  
  
I have the single strongest bloodline in all of Britain, if not anywhere. he went on, rubbing his colourless face. It isn't strange for them to want me on the Light side. I mean... Moony, my parents. They did some pretty horrible things. If their power, me... If I turned Dark the Ministry would want to know.  
  
But this is _my fault_! Remus said loudly, eliciting a short round of looks from the Gryffindor table. It seemed everyone was staring these days.  
  
Don't be so hard on it. James tried to say, though his voice was weak. He was weary, no use trying to hide it. Again, he shook his head. Remus, it's alright. I've nothing to hide. I just want you to be careful...  
  
Just watch what you write. Sirius said, joining in on the conversation. He sat down quickly, cracking his knuckles. No one asked of what mischief he had been doing.  
  
Meaning, don't write to your friends. Peter said under his breath.  
  
I have to tell them what's going on.  
  
Get Lily to write-  
  
They'll have her traced, Padfoot.  
  
Remus swallowed, his mouth dry and throat closed tight. He knew who to ask, but he was reluctant to do so.  
  
I'll take care of it... But thanks for the warning.  
  
  
  
She was smiling, and it baffled him. Never before had Remus seen such a look on her face, and in its own right it looked foreign. His entire dream, for he knew it had to be a dream, was too surreal.  
  
What are you going to do?  
  
I'll wait for you, it shouldn't be too long.  
  
But Rhint, I could be gone, for a long time. I don't think I can come back...  
  
You'll make it.  
  
But the Ministry-  
  
They don't matter. You'll make it.  
  
Remus opened his eyes, the dull crimson shades of light creeping in through his bed curtains.  
  
He could still see her smile so vividly, and for a second he wondered if it had been a dream at all.  
  
  
  
Would it be at all possible for me to take a short vacation?  
  
Professor McGonnagal frowned, and slowly, she shook her head.  
  
I'm afraid not, Mr. Lupin. The spring holidays just went by, and-  
  
But this is very important! he interrupted, his face crestfallen.  
  
The young woman pulled the glasses to the tip of her wrinkled nose, and frowned deeply. It cast even darker shadows under her eyes, making her look far too old and troubled.  
  
Mr. Lupin, with all the withstanding comments on your affiliation to the Light side of magic, it would not be wise for you to leave the school.  
  
  
  
If, in your absence, she continued sternly. another attack were to occur, well, I frankly wouldn't know how to settle the rumors.  
  
They're only just that, though. Remus said, letting out a sigh. Please, you have to believe me, I'd never-  
  
Albus has firmly told the staff that you're not one of the enemy. McGonnagal admitted, her eyes sparking for a moment. I just don't wish to allow the opportunity for more of your peers to question that. You're an outstanding young man, Mr. Lupin, and it pains me to see you in such a situation. If something were to happen, there would be no way to convince the students...  
  
And then the Ministry would be involved. he finished, knowing what wasn't voiced. Professor, I'll have you know that at this point, I don't care about the school knowing what I am. It _doesn't matter_. The only reason I bother hiding it is for the sake of my friends, here and otherwise.  
  
She lost her composure, and for a very good reason. What she had always seen as a troubled and pitiful boy stood before her wearing the most serious and heartfelt expression she'd ever had the chance to witness. It was shocking, to see him so determined.  
  
My friends, a few hundred people I have to help, need me. Your word against this isn't going to stop me from leaving, and if that means my expulsion and the Ministry suspecting me of Dark activity, so be it. I don't care anymore. Their safety is my only priority.  
  
He turned around, and stood still for a moment. In the quiet light, his battered cloak and patched satchel stood out, his frayed shoes that were too small, and the scrapped and chipped wand protruding from his pocket. He was a mess, everything about him looked so torn beyond grace.  
  
But standing in the doorway, the soft flames glow flickering upon him, he left looking something of a fairy tale hero.  
  
That child... God save his soul. If only there were more... she whispered to herself sadly.  
  
  
  
Their eyes followed him. Everyone was different, their own being, their own story. But as he walked through the mud-encrusted path, they all watched with an admiring gleam and a stiffened heart.  
  
He's here. a girl, a pack-mate to restless wolves that roamed the village, said under her breath. He's come back.  
  
  
Remus closed his eyes, his hand clenched in a fist by his head. It was just inches from the door, though he couldn't quite bring himself to complete the motion. As soon as the door sounded, it was over.  
  
They could smell him of course, but until he was ready to give in, they would do nothing. It had to be his call.  
  
The town behind him all holding their breath, Remus swallowed and tapped the door twice before entering.  
  
Caleb, Melhane... he said, nodding acknowledgments to each of them. They didn't smile, though he could read their emotions so plainly.   
  
With a sigh, he set down his satchel and collapsed into one of the chairs.  
  
Let's get this done before I change my mind. he said quietly.  
  
  
  
So is this the end of us?  
  
Remus shrugged lightly, her body rising from the gesture. She was lying atop him, her back to his chest, head on his shoulder as they looked up at the starless night. The world had blanketed the sky so dark just for the occasion, a forewarning of that to come.  
  
I don't know, Rhint. Really, I don't see how this could ever end. The Underground will always be here, whether or not we survive to see it through.  
  
His hand was atop hers, fingers laced together. He had never realised how calming it could be. Truly, he had never imagined it possible.   
  
She smiled softly, and leaned against him more. I'm glad... Someday, this will all end. All the suffering, all the hate. We'll be able to be free.  
  
Eyes closed, finding a better shade of black, Remus silently agreed. In time, if they never lost sight, there would be an end.  
  
I'm sorry that I'm never around, I know it tears everyone apart here. The boys, Caleb, you too...  
  
We don't expect you to stay here. she said, her voice fading in the calm. I don't either... You have something wonderful outside these mountains.  
  
  
  
He had often questioned that. All the searing pain it had caused, all the times he wish her weren't torn so between two separate lives. But...  
  
It is beautiful, isn't it?  
  
He let out a sigh, and released so many years of turmoil.  
  
It can be, Rhint. You just have to look to see it sometimes.  
  
  
  
Romolus let out a sigh, and almost reluctantly, handed his brother's satchel over.  
  
Take care of yourself, Remus. he said, his voice hoarse. His eyes had dimmed to a solemn grey, almost identical to the colour his sibling had always bared.  
  
I'll be back. he said. Under the remaining strap of the satchel, he grasped his brother's hand, and held it tight for a moment. Letting go, he tried to smile.  
  
I always come back, don't worry.  
  
They laughed, for worry was something neither could avoid.  
  
Da... Y-you're gonna come home, right? Cause, you know, we're worried, me'n Jason.  
  
He knelt down and received the two boys in a frighteningly strong embrace.   
  
Of course I will be. he said firmly.   
  
Not allowing himself to have his very soul searched by the prying light eyes, he turned back to face his former commander.  
  
Won't be the same without you, Caleb.  
  
It's time you run solo.  
  
Nah, I won't be alone. he said, chuckling. You'll all be there.  
  
They all nodded, smiling, though none of them were happy. In their hearts they felt a shameful wish for him to succeed, and a fear that he would fail.  
  
Neither outweighed the other.  
  
I'll be back in two days. he said with a final nod to Rhint, who could only bring herself to sit on the stairs. Her eyes said more than anything that had been spoken in the parting.  
  
Goodbye, for now. Romolus said.  
  
  
  
  
This is a bad idea.  
  
Give him a chance. Caleb said doubtfully, his words sounding shallow.  
  
Romolus scoffed, and continued in his incessant pacing of the small house.  
  
Someone should have gone with him though, this is too dangerous.  
  
Rom, calm yourself down. Caleb said as gently as he could. Your brother has more experience and skill in this than I did, even when I could get around quicker. he's a level head to himself. So stop worrying, he's going to come back.  
  
You send him to infiltrate the British Ministry by himself! the boy stammered.  
  
He isn't a boy and you know that.  
  
In disbelief, he looked to his traitorous wife standing in the kitchen.  
  
  
  
That boy' has been through the gates of hell and back again, Rom dear, and you know better than to question his judgment. He wouldn't have gone if he didn't think he'd make it home.  
  
Rom let his eyes drift to the dirty floor, and he shook his head slightly. If he figured it would benefit for the Underground... Shelly, I wouldn't trust him to gamble his own life.  
  
We have two days until he comes home. Caleb interrupted, his face set. Might as well not ponder it until tomorrow...  
  
There's a bar nearby, right?  
  
Shelly rolled her eyes and threw her cooking mitt at him.  
  
Don't you dare.  
  
Hey, no one's stopping me. Caleb said with a grin, standing up.  
  
By the door, Melhane held his cane, a mischievous smile in place.  
  
I don't think so, boys. Not right now.  
  
-  
  
What are you doing in here this late at night?  
  
Remus stopped humming, and his heart skipped a beat. He'd let his guard down, and in his absentmindedness, let a security Auror catch him in a restricted area.  
  
Mr. Jemmons wanted a file for his Class-A report. His secretary didn't bring it to his office tonight, and he needs it to fill out the paperwork. I'm hired nightshift, so they called me in to get it. he said quietly, keeping his eyes to the ground. His hands were steady, continuing to file through the cabinet in search of the desperately needed files.  
  
I would have been told if there was such a case.  
  
It's an emergency, sir. They have a werewolf in the French Ministry, and Mr. Jemmons wanted-  
  
Whatever, kid. Just lock the door when you're done.  
  
The man walked away, though he paused at the door to look back.  
  
Remus kept his head down and indiscreetly hid himself in the shadows.   
  
-  
  
And if he gets caught?  
  
Romolus bit his lip, and tried not to think of the possible, and fairly probable outcome.  
  
Rom, I know you already have it in your mind, but a lot of this has been brought on by you.  
  
Remus would have done it eventually. he said quietly, finally taking a seat. It seemed that the entire Underground had done nothing but pace for the entire night. He was sure that the floor was beginning to wear away by now.  
  
But, Rom... Shelly trailed off, and swallowed. You're the one that proposed this idea, stealing everything-  
  
He shook his head, interrupting his wife. She was new to this, she hadn't lived with someone of the curse for so long... The idea was born eons ago Shell, just... Now was an opportunity.  
  
So you let your brother march off to his own death?  
  
Her delicate face, still shadowed from past pains and the haunting memory of what her community had once done, was devoid of any colour. She had her hands laced together, clenched tight in some sort of anger. Romolus didn't quite understand.  
  
Shelly, he's going to come back, you just don't understand him.  
  
He's a child, Romolus! she snapped. He's just a child... You let him run off on his own to face an entire army of his greatest enemy, and no one lifts a finger to follow him.  
  
I'd give my life for him to have a better chance. Romolus said firmly, his jaw clenching. You just can't see this all, Shell. The Ministry isn't his foe. He's his own greatest enemy, everyone here's the same way. I would only get in his way, mentally and physically.  
  
Shaking her head, Shelly let out a sigh. It doesn't make sense to me.  
  
Unless he does this, knowing he'll have missed the chance to save even a single one of his kind would tear him apart. He has to do this on his own, and Shelly, believe me, he isn't going to fail.  
  
-  
  
Gazing up at the ceiling, Remus tried to think of anything to do. Something, anything at all. The only thought that came out was that he had failed.  
  
They're going to be captured...' he said to himself, though his mouth didn't move. Nothing moved.  
  
Motionless and unblinking, he stared at the swirling haze of khaki above.  
  
They were all going to be detained, and it'd be his own fault. He'd let his guard down, such a fool for it! There was no way he was going to make it back in time to warn them.  
  
Can't let them down...'  
  
He tried again, to make his body respond. All he felt was a dull, throbbing pain somewhere in the back of his head, like a nail slowly being ground in inch by inch. The rest of him seemed to not exist. Only the pain and the dim sight of the ceiling told him he was even alive.  
  
I shouldn't be, though.'  
  
Now, in his line of vision, he saw a startled form. A wispy shadow, nothing more, but he knew it to be a night guard. There was the grey uniform and cap, and he had his wand drawn.   
  
So that's who tried to kill me.' he thought, wishing he could move. The figure looked shocked, he could see the O' of his mouth and the pupils of his eyes. So wide, scared... He had to be new on the job, jumpy so early in the morning.  
  
Once he calls help, I'll never make it back.'  
  
His eyes finally closed, and with immense relief, Remus managed to move his arm. It was by sheer force of will and negligence for the now splitting pain in his head that he overcame the torment that Avada Kedarva wrought upon those afflicted with lycanthropy. It was worse than before, being hit full-on.  
  
You're-you're not d-dead!  
  
He was only a kid, hell, barely older than Remus. Didn't even look it, though.  
  
Smirking slightly, Remus pushed himself upright with the arm that was willing to function properly.  
  
He noticed, for the first time, that he was no longer afraid.  
  
I have a job to finish. he said hoarsely, his lips slowly twitching into a maniacal smile. And I'm not going to let everyone down. Not anymore.  
  
Staggering, limping, beaten and broken, Remus managed his way forward with wand in hand.  
  
But no more did he fear his own death, his capture, or the well-being of his comrades. he had a duty to fulfill, and nothing was going to stop him now.  
  
It's time to finish this. he whispered, striding by the confounded night-watch.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Yeah, I'm back. Again... Sorry updates are irregular once more, I'm trying to adjust to writing continually again. Happiness and IIDX (my new video game addiction) have been taking up my time.  
  
:)  
  
So, I'll be seeing you all for the next chapter then. Hope you enjoyed, and review! (aren't you tired of hearing that by now?)  
  
**Iggie


	89. Part LXXXIX Equilibrium

A/n- Yeah, yeah. I'm late. Deal with it, I'm too happy right now :P  
  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXXXIX - Equilibrium  
  
  
  
  
  
Even in his pathetic stammering, he held a poise, a drive for continuation that made him stand out as a powerful victor.  
  
In an ungraceful swoop, he finally fell, though the comforting arms of his brother proved to be more forgiving than the rock faces and harsh ground he had collapsed to before.  
  
Easy there, Remus. Caleb said softly.   
  
The boy, the hero, the savior... So carefully he was ushered into the house, everyone looking on in respectful awe.   
  
Can someone go find Theodore?  
  
Right ere, good sir. he answered from a distance. The crowd parted to let him through, and he was allowed to follow into the cabin. The door was shut, and silence filled the room.  
  
Most definitely hit, that he was. the doctor said, almost to himself. With a shake of his head, he left the potion he had prepared in advance on the coffee table and left with a mere tip of his hat.  
  
Remus, it's a bloody miracle you're still in one piece. Romolus murmured to his fallen brother. So gently he was laid on the couch, his head propped upon a pillow. His cloak and robes were stripped away, his battered shirt torn and pulled aside. In a few moments, he was left in his bloodied pants and socks.  
  
The few people permitted in the small home all sighed in regret. They knew it wasn't possible, but each of them regretted that he had to go alone.  
  
Time will heal him, don't worry. Caleb assured the group, the pack knit so closely by so much suffering. In truth, they were all brought together because of the frail body before them.  
  
I still think he's insane. Rhint whispered from the side. She was the only one not comforted by another, the only one left to kneel before Remus and worry on her own. Her hand brushed his bruised and pale forehead, and ruefully and brushed away his bangs.  
  
At the same time, both women quietly pulled their loves away.  
  
Give them time. Shelly said under her breath, her own hand locked to her husband's. I have a feeling we're all going to need time...  
  
She lay her head down, resting it on his shallowly rising chest for a moment.  
  
Why did you go? she asked, though knowing there would be no reply. You knew... You knew that everything would fall apart. This is only the beginning, yet, yet still you went.  
  
As everyone else did, she prayed that he would open his eyes, acknowledge her if only for the briefest of instances. Her wishes went unheard, and for so long it seemed he lay there, so still and cold.  
  
  
  
Praise God... He's finally awake.  
  
In unison, a heavy breath was released. The weight harbored by so many was lifted, though no one was foolish enough to banish it.  
  
Don't even try to speak. Romolus commanded lightly, placing a hand on Remus' bare shoulder. It was late in the afternoon, and the dull sun peeked in through the fabric-drapped windows in curiosity. More than one eager child shared the same viewpoint.  
  
His eyes shut in a gesture of understanding, and Remus let himself fall back the slight distance he had risen.  
  
So, it wasn't over just yet.  
  
Well, you did it, kid.  
  
Caleb was smiling, a sad and joyous look all in the same.  
  
It's already in the news, made front page of the _Prophet_. Shelly added, her own eyes red and tired from the grueling wait. No one knows why the entire Werewolf Registry disappeared overnight.  
  
Without a trace, I'll add. Caleb said. He was proud, so damn proud, and he couldn't even show it right.  
  
Remus let out a deep, guttural sort of mumble.   
  
Everything hurt, everything hurt so much he could barely follow what was happening.  
  
It was tomorrow, he realised. Caleb, and Rom... And Rhint, and the runts.'  
  
He smiled, very slightly, as he felt them curled asleep on his legs. Apparently they must have refused to sleep in their own beds. It was comforting to feel their heat, to know that they were there.  
  
Everyone was there.  
  
It was several minutes before Remus even figured out why his closest friends of the Underground had arranged themselves around his tired form. Flashes of thought from the previous day came to mind, and with heavy hands, he reached to his chest. There was still a singed circle of flesh from where Avada Kedarva should have taken the breath from him.  
  
Feeling alright? Romolus finally asked, breaking the silence.  
  
They all shared an ironic grin, knowing Remus was far from alright, though he had nodded anyway.  
  
  
  
Try to pull something like that one more time, and I swear I'll have your head mounted as an office decoration.  
  
HOW DID-  
  
Bite it, Simmers.  
  
Miss Horder snapped at the man irritably, and threw down the three boys she had held up by their robes. They fell to the ground, a mixture of grins and frowns in place, and began to scramble for the couch.  
  
How in _hell_ did you get inside of the city? Our security is-  
  
Much better than the Ministry's. the professor concluded, giving a slightly admiring tip of head.  
  
But then-  
  
A hand on Caleb's shoulder stopped him short, and he was met with the soothing eyes of his fiancé. Caleb, they're our guests.  
  
Precisely how I Apparated. Ms. Horder said with a smile. Why do you think I waited outside last time I was here? I didn't set foot in this shack until I was invited, otherwise the spell would never work had I needed it.  
  
But that's-  
  
Very clever magic. Romolus chuckled, greeting the four outsiders. I figured it'd only be a matter of time before you lot barged in.  
  
James, Sirius and Peter all crowded the couch, though they were careful to not disturb the girl sleeping in the armchair pulled up adjacent. Rhint had never proved to be pleasant when woken, so they were cautious.  
  
Jesus, Moony... We thought you'd been caught.  
  
The headlines, once we saw...  
  
You have _got_ to stop doing this every time you leave Hogwarts.  
  
Behind them, Ms. Horder made herself at home and Summoned a glass of iced tea from the shabby kitchen as she sat down on one of the few vacant chairs. Caleb seemed less than pleased, and had to fight the urge to chew out the intrusive woman once more.  
  
Remus rolled over on his side, and opened his eyes. A weak smile graced his broken lips, and he muttered a very throaty 'lo.'  
  
You know, it's very fortuitous that you're still here. Peter said, swallowing his nervousness. he had never liked being in the Underground city, and even less so under such circumstances. You left your wand there, it was in the _Prophet_. But it was so mangled there's no way they'll trace it back to you.  
  
Look, kid, Ms. Horder said. Remus finally noticed her presence, and tried to pull the shabby cover over himself better. I'm not going to lie to you like everyone else seems to do. Working for the Ministry in one of the more provocative divisions gives me a heads-up on every single encounter. And you, my vulnerable little student, have created quite the stir.  
  
Calm down. Melhane whispered, gripping Caleb's shoulder tightly. He was threatening to lunge forward again, fearing that the young woman would betray them. The fact that he saw no reason for her to keep their cover made him very skeptical.  
  
So how are we going to keep him from detection? Romolus asked, finally standing still. He had been pacing for so long, it was beginning to annoy the others even. Without his wife to ease him (somebody had to care for the twins, she reasoned) he was slightly neurotic.  
  
It's hard to say. the professor said simply, picking at her nails. She was treating the entire matter as if it were daily chitchat, not looking worried in the slightest at first. With a theft on that scale, I don't see how you're going to keep yourself under cover for more than a month.  
  
Almost long enough. Remus muttered, his voice raspy. James managed to grab a cloth just in time to catch the blood that was immediately coughed up.  
  
To graduate? Ah, I get it now. Ms. Horder said to herself. At this she frowned, and slumped in the chair. If you're trying to protect everyone, Lupin, it's going to be very hard. No matter where you decide to stay, you're going to be found. It's all a matter of what life you're willing to sacrifice.  
  
How can you say that to him?  
  
No one had noticed that Rhint had woken. Clearly, she had been intruding on the conversation for some time while maintaining the guise of being asleep.  
  
If you work for the Ministry, why don't you help us?  
  
This is beyond what I can do, alright? Otherwise it would have been done. I may be his Defense Professor, and an Auror, but that doesn't mean I agree with the Ministry. I think it's a load of dragon-shit how they treat you all.  
  
Rhint shook her head, and fervently she went on. So you aren't going to do a damn thing to keep him safe? He just risked his life, he almost lost it, just for a few scraps of paper! We're all safe from their eyes now, but he most certainly isn't!  
  
I knew what I was doing. Remus mumbled, despite the better efforts of his friends to keep him silent. Determined to overcome what should have killed any other man, he forced himself upright, pushing away Sirius. His bandages fell loose to his lap, and the compression that had covered most of his face now revealed how horrible he looked. Listless eyes, swollen and bloody, stared back at everyone in the room.  
  
I don't care if I'm caught, at this point. I've done my part and used my last chance years ago. I'm just tired, everyone... I'm not going to run anymore.  
  
Moony, come on, you don't mean that. James said in disbelief.  
  
Visibly struggling to stay upright, Remus set down a hand to brace himself. It took several breaths before he had the strength to carry on again.  
  
For your sake, and for everyone here, I wont turn myself in. But this has to end. Not a single one of the Underground expected me to come home without being tracked... I didn't, either. I don't want it.  
  
Ms. Horder was smiling now, unnoticed by the others. Her eyes had a vibrant spark to them, and she was wringing her hands together.  
  
I'm going back to Hogwarts, and I'll stay there, try to graduate. If the Ministry comes for me, I'm not running. I'm so _tired_ of running.  
  
His eyes closed, and Rhint guided him back to the pillow. He said nothing more, unable to find the drive to do so, and merely drifted back into a superficial sleep.  
  
How can he do that to us? Sirius whispered.  
  
He's been on his last straw too long, Black. We all knew it was coming.  
  
Doesn't mean we have to accept it. Romolus muttered.  
  
  
  
Her hands were delicate, leafing through each paper so carefully as if they were made of the finest glass. A life had been ruined over the few slices of parchment, though thousands more had been saved. Though to the few close to Remus, the balance seemed unfair.  
  
How long would it have been before you were caught? she asked, raising an eyebrow every so often. It was a startling discovery, and she was very glad indeed that it had been taken from the wrong hands.  
  
A matter of days. Caleb said, his voice barely carrying. He had his head in his hands, fingers lacing through the thick, sandy locks in pensive frustration. Hell, one day later may have determined all of our lives.  
  
No wonder you had to let him go. the woman said with a sigh. She placed the papers back in the folder, and after a pause, handed them back to Melhane. It's a damn shame it had to be him.  
  
No one else knew the complex but me. Caleb snapped.  
  
Ah, so you're feeling a bit guilty, is that it? I wondered what was going on.  
  
Of course I feel like shit! he blurted out, lifting his head up for a moment. His eyes had dulled, nothing of their old life was left. I let that kid... I let him walk right off, knowing damn well he'd either die or be caught. None of us stopped him... I should have gone!  
  
Caleb, you know perfectly well that your body can't handle that anymore. Melhane said gently. No one is blaming you for this, we wouldn't have the nerve or right to. You started this, remember. Without you these papers wouldn't have made an ounce of difference.  
  
At any rate, Ms. Horder said, interrupting the tense moment. Lupin did a damn fine job, I don't think anyone could have done better. He was excruciatingly clever in his ways... Only one witness saw him directly, and under such conditions it's not likely that they'll ever compose an identity.  
  
Stop kidding us. James mumbled from the couch. They had all camped out in the living room, unwilling to leave Remus' side for the night. He's going to be caught, isn't he?  
  
After no more than a second of hesitation, she nodded. Yes, he most likely will. Though I can't say how long it will take.  
  
The handmade clock hanging on the wall let out a rattled and somewhat choppy chime, sounding off midnight.  
  
With a heavy sigh, Ms. Horder stood up and grabbed her cloak.  
  
Hold tight to those papers, Simmers... Being able to track every person infected with the curse is invaluable right now. You don't want them to get that back.  
  
He nodded, saying nothing as she started to leave.  
  
Come on boys, grab Lupin and let's get out of here. The wards are only disarmed for another ten minutes.  
  
  
  
Their eyes were following him, that he was sure of. It would be asking for a miracle for the school to not notice his absence, let alone his appearance. Despite Madame Pomfrey's latest round of inventive spells and potions, the bruises still showed, and he still walked with great difficulty.  
  
Sirius nudged him lightly in the side as to avoid hurting him, but enough to make him notice. Understanding, Remus lifted his head up, and tried to smile back at his peers.  
  
As they entered the Great Hall for breakfast, the staring became worse. Nearly every set of eyes fell upon him, wondering why he looked so beaten, or why he hadn't been in class again.  
  
...Gone during the attack on the Ministry, even...  
  
Unusual, though. It wasn't like the others.  
  
...Never did trust him. He's up to something, I don't care what Horder and Dumbledore say.  
  
Looking up at the Head Table, he met the old man's gaze. Surprisingly enough, he didn't look angry, simply relieved to see the young Gryffindor. He was beckoned forward, and forced to leave the comfort of his indestructible companions.  
  
They spoke softly, as the Hall was so silent without the usual roaring chatter. Periodically Dumbledore would joke of something, and begin to laugh merrily. It was only an act, Remus thought, to keep the others from suspecting. Before he left, he was grasped the the shoulder, and greeted with a very warming smile.  
  
I do hope she's feeling well. Send my regards, will you? he asked loudly. Remus understood, and tried to convey his torn emotions back to the old man to whom he owed so much. The end result was a weak smile and a shallow nod.  
  
So, what'd I miss? he asked the Gryffindor table. Shaking off their stares, some of which were not in the least bit friendly, he took a bite of his meal and idly chatted about Quidditch with his friends.  
  
A silent breath was let out, and the Great Hall returned to its normal hum of gossip. Though mingled within, whispers of his name were spoken, and more than one finger was pointed.  
  
  
  
But how'd you find out about that registry if the Ministry only unearthed it the day before?  
  
Remus set down his glass of water, and took a moment before he began. He had severely underestimated the strain it would cause to resume classes and normal activity so soon, and late in the day his body was refusing to function quickly.  
  
I had a Vision on it before, though I never paid attention to it. he said quietly, rubbing his throat. The other night, I just... I don't know. It's hard to explain. Something clicked, and once I figured it out...  
  
Sick of standing around and watching it all go by? Sirius asked, surprisingly solemn. He wasn't smiling, nor looking boyishly interested in another exciting tale from his friend.   
  
Yes, basically. I don't think you guys know what it's like to have so much harm done to those you care for, and you just have to stand by and watch...  
  
James, Sirius and Peter all let out an identical groan, and rolled their eyes at Remus.  
  
Of course we do, Moony. James chuckled. We go through the exact same thing with you... You run off, risk your life, and you never even tell us. And when we do know it, you downright refuse to let us into your life so we can help, just because you're afraid we're going to be hurt.  
  
It hurts more to see you suffer alone. Sirius said.   
  
It made sense now, Remus realised with a grim frown. Their somber eyes and saddened glances weren't from the war, or stress... They were for him.  
  
I suppose it's too late to say I'm sorry. he grumbled.  
  
It's never too late.  
  
We can always start over, you know? Just promise us this, Moony. Sirius said, leaning forward and taking Remus' hands. He wanted to be sure that his friend heard this clearly, that the message was clear. Never push us out of your affairs because you think we'll be hurt. We want to help, alright? No consequence could ever be more damaging than watching you carry a burden yourself.  
  
Nodding, Remus cracked a small smile.  
  
  
  
_  
Rom, what are you doing here? I said I would be alright by myself over the holidays.  
  
Dancing blue eyes met his own, and after a moment of searching, the young boy was presented with a rather poorly wrapped package.  
  
Merry Christmas, Remus. he said simply.  
  
Pursing his lips, Remus looked from the box- which most likely contained secondhand clothes- back to his brother. We can't afford that, and besides, I'm doing alright. You don't need to go out of your way to help me, especially if it's just to celebrate a holiday. A letter would've worked.  
  
Romolus let out a sigh that froze in the air, and he shrugged. I'm allowed to care about, little brother. Don't be so grim all the time... Accept the fact that I'm gonna be here when you need me, and I'm gonna be a nosey and annoying little prat when you wont let me. Now really, stop staring like that and just unwrap it.  
  
Doing as he was told, he took the snow-covered parcel and undid the stained twine. Inside, once the torn folds of the box had been lifted, Remus wa startled to see Romolus' prized book of magic, and a wand, delicately bundled in a piece of velvet cloth.  
  
Lighten up, Remus, and try to enjoy life a little, okay?  
  
  
  
  
_  
**A/n- Alight, first off: Thanks for sticking with me! Heh. Hope you enjoyed, and yeah, toss me a review. I live on um.  
  
Now, for the important bit....  
  
  
EDIT: So many of you were awesome enough to help out with my problem, that I can say right now I'm an incredibly happy nerd. You all helped tip the 10,000 form requirement and I get my new game in a bit. Thanks so much!  
  
  
**Iggie's done whining for assistance now. So go review.


	90. Part XC Social Entropy

  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XC - Social Entropy  
  
  
  
  
Remus' quill scratched away, the unsteady black scrawl blurring into the parchment in a sea of disorderly curves. His eyes wouldn't focus right, and half of his mind seemed to be far from the classroom and the test before him. Mechanically, he spilled out an essay, though his thoughts were too distant to take note of what exactly his hand was scribbling down.  
  
_Are you sure you're going to be alright, Moony? You look like crap, and the full moon isn't all that far away...  
  
Thanks Pete, but I'm fine.  
  
What happened, anyway? If you were caught-  
  
I was.  
  
Then how are you, you know, not in Azkaban or something?  
  
The Killing Curse can't take my life. Because of my blood, I have a partial immunity to it... They though I was dead and kicked me around while I was only passed out.  
  
  
  
_Good thing my blood's soiled with Dark magic.' he mused to himself. He barely noticed in time that he had written that into his essay on the Salem trials and their affects on Britain in time to erase it.  
  
Stop letting your guard down.' his conscience conveyed. You have a month and some left to go, don't blow it now... There's still a chance.'  
  
  
  
You're still willing to betray your own House, and take back your promised loyalty?  
  
He received a cold stare, black eyes that drifted past his security. It was a haunting feeling.  
  
It was not by choice I joined with them. he muttered laconically.  
  
Then leave.  
  
Remus set down his set of scales, and the drigwood root as well. Brushing off the clay-like secretion from the plant, he wiped his forehead of perspiration.   
  
There's no sense in you staying with them any longer. It's going to get out of control.  
  
You speak of it as if you know. Snape shot out, his voice lashing through the misty smoke of the potions. It's entropy, Lupin, nothing short of threats to end my life if I utter a word against the Dark Master.  
  
So you're going to support it? All the killings, the slaughter... You're just going to help it continue? Until what? His eyes fell to the ground, unable to meet the blank look.  
  
Until one side falls, Lupin. This is a war, and I won't be backing down.  
  
Letting out an inaudible sigh, Remus nodded his head and went back to work.   
  
  
  
_Remus,  
  
Watch yourself carefully. We've been trying to keep tabs on Ministry activity, and so far, things aren't looking in our favour. They're on to you, and I wont stand to see you caught. Be prepared to flee Hogwarts if need be, alright?  
  
Keep your eyes open, and tail up. We're worried about you here.  
  
Caleb  
  
_He's right, Remus, you need to watch yourself. Lily said quietly as she tried to finish her breakfast. Nobody in the Great Hall seemed to have much an appetite any longer.  
  
Everyone, expect for Sirius.  
  
Lighten up Lily, will you? he said breathlessly. He was racing to shovel food down his throat so quickly that he was forget to take in air at equal intervals. Moony's more'n cap'le of han'lin'   
  
Try chewing, it tends to help. Peter said with a roll of his eyes as flecks of egg shot from his friend's mouth to his general direction, and every other one at that.  
  
Sirius shrugged, took half a second to chew, and then repeated his messy process,  
  
Why are you in such a rush, anyway? We don't have classes today. Remus point out as he tucked the letter into his breast pocket. He could feel his heart racing. The uneasy feeling in his chest had returned...  
  
James said, offering his girlfriend a quick kiss as he took his seat across from her and Remus. It's because we don't have classes that we need to hurry!  
  
What are you plotting now? Peter groaned. His workload had piled up already; he didn't need another detention.  
  
Smiling, James pulled out the Marauders Map from his bag and held it under the table. He moved back ever so slightly to allow Sirius a small field of vision.  
  
They're all in place. Remus heard him whisper, Sirius now grinning in delight. He started to take in his breakfast even quicker, to everyone else's disgust.  
  
Who's in place? Remus questioned. James looked up, having forgot his whispers couldn't go unheard. With a moderately rueful sort of sigh, he leaned forward and held the map in the protective territory of his shadow.  
  
What are they _doing_? Remus blurted out a little too loud.  
  
That's what we're laughing about. Sirius explained, surreptitiously arranging the bowls off ood so the Marauders map would go unseen.  
  
They're initiating another Slytherin boy, a third year it seems.  
  
I fail to see how that's funny! Remus snapped, his eyes narrowed. Snape, along with three of the elder Slytherins, had gathered at the very edge of the map, the small dot of the other boy barely in view.  
  
Are we going to stop this?  
  
Oh, something like that. Sirius smirked.  
  
Deciding it safer to just assume the worse, Remus nodded his head, and slumped back in his seat.  
  
For a moment that seemed frozen in the passing of time, he let his mind drift. The flashes of gold and scents of the morning meal faded away, the quiet laughter of few, and sobbing of more yet all died down. His head filled with a serene, blissful hum that engulfed his being.  
  
The bright simulated sunlight dimmed down before him, and everything turned to a calm grey. A gentle wash of fog seemed to float all around.  
Smiling, he took in a long breath.  
  
  
  
He opened his eyes and was surprised to find not the Great Hall, but the single steeply sloping, grassy hill of the Underground. The sky was dark, the sun had already set hours before it seemed. A flock of stars glittered overhead, and the full moon, brimmed with silver, illuminated the beautiful sight before him.  
  
Where am I?  
  
This isn't a dream, Remus. she said, her face difficult to read. She was smiling, too, but her eyes seemed far from happiness. They were torn... A reflection of his own.  
  
Flicking his eyes briefly to the moon, he made a silent inquisition.  
  
No, you're not here in person. It's only an illusion. Rhint explained, reaching out. Her hand met his, though all he felt was a cold shiver, a poor replacement for the true flesh which he loved to touch, to hold.  
  
Something's happened, then. he said under his breath, nodding to himself as he eased to the ground. Like Rhint, it was cold to the touch, feeling so fragile under his weight. A crepe paper sculpture of the real city.  
  
She uttered a throaty confirmation, and placed her other hand atop his, claiming it for her own.  
  
I may not see you for a while, Remus. We had to leave last night, all of us.  
  
The Death Eaters? he asked, his voice cracking. In a mere second his eyes had grown so wide, his heart threatening to burst from the speed at which it raced.  
  
No. The Ministry... There were only a handful of them, but they know about the Underground. We had to flee. she said.  
  
The air became thicker, and the stars began to fade overhead.  
  
Where are you going? he asked, surprised at the tone his voice took. He was more surprised, however, at how his heart was flickering so unsteadily.  
  
I don't know. Caleb had us all move so quickly... Melhane and your brother just ran about rounding everyone up, I'm not even sure if we're all together. Right now we're in the woods somewhere north.  
  
Are you leaving soon?  
  
She frowned, closed her dull grey eyes, and nodded once. I'm not supposed to do this. I only learned how the other day, by accident. Romolus took me up as his private student. She snapped her head upwards, and their eyes held for a long instant. That isn't any matter, though. Remus, you must be careful. They're going to come for you.  
  
Then let them. he said. I'm tired of living two lives. If they come, I'm leaving.  
  
Her eyes fell to the ground, as if in guilt. He knew why she felt that way.  
  
I care about you Rhint, but that's not it alone. I can't do this, I don't belong there. I belong with you, and Caleb, and the Underground. I need to be with my own kind for once. Something's going to work out, he continued, smiling dully. there's no chance I'll allow myself to be hurt again.  
  
she said quietly, her voice soft. Remus, how can you have faith in anything after all that's happened?  
  
Taking in a breath, Remus reached out, resting his hand on her imaginary shoulder. There was an old trial, in America. The wizard wouldn't show his powers to prove he was of magic blood, but wouldn't deny them at all. When asked how the court was supposed to believe in it, he answered in a question. He asked if they believed in God. Being Christians, they blurted back of course' without hesitating. Rhint, do you understand? Some things can't be proven. You just believe. Faith is knowing when to turn the other cheek on logic, that's all. Knowing something with all your heart, so strongly, that a lack of proof does nothing to damage it.  
  
As she let her head tilt down, her hair fell to cover her face. Remus knew she had begun to cry by the scent of the salt, the faint sounds of droplets hitting the false ground.  
  
Sometimes, you have to have faith in something no matter how impossible it seems. My life can't get any worse, Rhint. I've been through hell, I know the path. I wont be lost anymore.  
  
She leaned over quite quickly, so that she lost her balance and fumbled as she tried to hug him. There was no warmth to her touch, no actual weight; only a dull tingling sense that gave the illusion that she was there at all.  
  
Her voice echoed through his chest, sending a cold chill through his heart.  
  
He shook his head, dismissing her questions. They could come another time.  
  
You'd better go Rhint, no use in holding up the pack right now. You can't get caught.  
  
I know, but Remus-  
  
You have to go. he said firmly.   
  
Frowning regretfully, Rhint nodded and looked up. Before she could even react to his movement, Remus had lightly kissed her, briefly lacing his fingers to hers.  
  
I'll see you soon. he said, smiling as best he could. He knew their time was over, and no sooner had she nodded once, the world began to rapidly deteriorate. Flecks of gold, whispers, bursts of laughter broke through. It was an uneven mesh of both realities.  
  
  
  
A hand on his shoulder once more, though now, there was a definite solidity.  
  
Remus, a minute please?  
  
With a long and tired sigh, Remus pursed his lips and followed the young professor.  
  
  
  
Look, I _know_ about the Ministry! he snapped, tired of her interrupting news flashes. She had been going on, ignoring his remarks, for the better of half an hour. Pacing about the room, her hand slipping through her light hair, the young Auror looked far more distressed about the manner than Remus did.  
  
You're going to let them come here and just take you away? she asked, turning quickly to face him. Her eyes drew his into a cold lock, one he wasn't able to break free from.  
  
he said quietly, keeping himself from looking to the floor. I'm leaving. If they come for me, I wont let them take my honour.  
  
She laughed, cold and empty, no substance to the hollow sound at all. Then you'd best be leaving. she chuckled, her eyes nearly closed. Raking back the hair that had fallen to cover her face, she unveiled a very curt sort of expression. It was a confusing blend of sad amusement and worry.  
  
They'll be here tonight, Remus. she said, shaking her head once more. Go, just go.  
  
He stood up, ready to leave. After a moment, he stopped and waited for the rest of her words.  
  
You know, you have a lot of potential Lupin. We're going to need that, alright? Once the war comes a step closer to the Ministry, they're going to stop this foolish hunt. We'll need you. We'll need people of honour, and of a sound word and heart.  
  
I have my own battles to fight, Ms. Horder. he declared. This is my life, and I can control it now. I'll chose what needs to be fought.  
  
He turned around, hands in his pockets, his face set without the smallest trace of fear.  
  
behind him, Ms. Horder let out another empty chortle of laughter.  
  
That damn boy's going to change the world someday...  
  
  
  
Despite his short budget on time, Remus took great care when he entered his dorm to gather all his possessions and pack them carefully into his old, battered satchel. For years he had promised to buy himself a new one, though he'd never had the heart to part with such an old companion.   
  
He idly wrapped the decreped journal of Cor in leftover tissue paper he had saved from his birthday, and placed it in the single front pouch of his bag for safekeeping. Other letters from the twins and Caleb, and small trinkets he had collected over the years, made way into the compartment as well. To the main housing he folded his few robes, now battered and too short, and the rest of his worn clothing. _Healing Magic for the Advanced Student_ and _A Collective History of Lycanthropy: An Insider's Explorative_ were the only textbooks he chose to bring with him on his pilgrimage for a final freedom.  
Everything else he left in his trunk, neatly sorted so the Headmaster or his friends would have no trouble dealing with it later.  
  
I suppose I should leave them a note, at least... Ehm, I'll just leave a message from myself personally. he grumbled, a sinking feeling in his stomach lurching to life. Though his mind was made up, part of him had no desire to leave the comfort the Marauders had provided for the few years.  
  
Rather nervously, he ran a hand across his hair to flatten it out, and pulled his robes as straight as they would get. With a tap of his wand, he began a shadow recording that would capture the ghosty figure of himself and his voice to be played back.  
  
I guess this is rather short notice, but you all knew it was coming. I can't live like this any longer, you guys... His voice choked up for a moment, and he felt a slight sting in his eyes. The last farewell to his friends would not come easy, though he had been running it over in his mind since the very beginning.  
  
The Underground's gone, and they aren't going to last very long without help. I'm going to join my brother and Caleb, try and find somewhere else to settle down for a while away from the Ministry. I'm sure they'll be giving you all a hassle over me, and for that I'm sorry. I suppose you all knew it would happen eventually. He managed a weak smile, and wiped a tear before it fell down his pale face. James, Sirius, Peter... Thank you. You've given me a lot to live for, and that's not something the Ministry can ever take away for me. There aren't words I could say that would come close to showing how much you've done for me. You gave me my life back. Just... Thank you, all of you.  
  
With a final nod of his head and another attempt at a parting smile, he ended the spell. The quill he had Charmed to act as the replaying device hovered lightly in the air, emitting a delicate glow periodically.   
  
Gathering up his satchel, broom and cloak, Remus Lupin turned away from what had been his home, and what he never wished to see again.  
  
Goodbye, everyone. he whispered quietly.  
  
  
  
  
  
**A/n- Sorry it's been so long... I wish I had a good excuse, but I don't. Life happens, I suppose.  
  
More will come when it's written, that much I can promise.  
  
And I apologize for this one being shorter than normal, but I felt it would be best to get something out. :)  
  
**Iggie


	91. Part XCI Hiru no Tsuki

  
Seeing Grey - Pat XCI - Hiru no Tsuki  
Quiet, urgent whispers spread through the congregation like petals in a sudden gust of wind, winding their way carelessly through the ranks. Eyes spread wide, mouths were left open in awe, and excited fingers pointed while edging on kin.  
  
I can't believe... He's here!  
  
the man said harshly, sneering viciously at the young, gossipy woman. She paid no attention to him and ran off, her filthy skirt bunched in her hands, to spread the news.  
  
Emitting a guttural, throaty loll of discomfort, Remus tilted his head. Without the strength to hold it up, his neck gave way and rested his heavy head against the back of the burly man's arm. His tired eyes were granted passing glances of the resting pack, settled in their temporary camp. It was little more than everyone sitting by their possessions, a few small campfires lit to roast freshly captured game.  
  
The land was dry, supporting little vegetation beyond withering moss and the thick of trees. It was very difficult to move the few horses and select wizard-bred variety of cattle they were traveling with. A small pen had been made, with the ten or so beasts tethered between trees. One of the dapple horses neighed violently when Remus was brought past.  
  
A pack of wolves who had made themselves at home with the Underground awoke, and keenly peered at the intruding pair.  
  
With only one eye open, for the other had swelled shut, Remus smiled at the creature.  
  
Worry not, I'm still alive yet. he whispered. Eyes once alight with primal rage slipped into a gentle calm, and a quiet whiney of response echoed through the wood.  
  
Taking a long and filling breath, he allowed himself to drift back asleep, too worn from journey and full moon to try and carry himself.  
Found him in Newport, almost dead as the rats he was lying with. The locals made a pretty damn good attempt at ending his life, must've seen him out during the moon.  
  
Though he wished no harm to him, the man deposited Remus on the ground rather clumsily. Rhint rushed forward, scowling at the man, and pushed him away.  
  
Be careful! she snapped, in an instant cradling Remus.   
  
Aye, I mean no ill to him, not at all. I'm tired, girl, it's been a long trip here with him all the way. he said in his own defense, slowly backing off. Without a sound he slipped back into the thick wood, granting himself leave from the reunion.  
  
Shelly, will you try to find Romolus? I'm sure he'll wan to know his brother's back. Rhint said, not tearing her worried eyes from Remus' face. He was pale, far too pale, and in need of the doctor immediately. Shelly would be wise enough to bring him, so she didn't bother to request his presence.  
  
I'll alert Theodore first, Rom's out hunting right now. I'll have someone send one of the wolves after him, they're far quicker than I am. she said with a slight smile. As she left, Shelly paused to rest her hand on Rhint's shoulder, a small gesture whose meaning was perfectly understood.  
  
Inching her way backwards, Rhint rested herself against an old tree, Remus' head cradled in her lap. Before she got comfortable, a small flick of battered wand had a fire struggling for life in front of them.  
  
Remus, why do you always do this to yourself? she asked, not expecting any reply. Always torn between both worlds... Life gave you such a burden.  
  
S'my duty to bear.  
  
Fumbling, for he could not see, Remus found her hand and rested it lightly on his chest. His body seemed to be nulled to any senses, but he could definitely feel her warmth and every breath. The very slightest of smile crossed his broken lips.  
  
Guess there's explaining... To be done. he mumbled. Rather than seeing it, he felt her shake her head in disagreement.  
  
No. For now, we'll enjoy our time. We'll not worry about what's passed and what's to come. Let's rest, today.  
  
Not having the strength to nod, Remus simply let his head fall limply to rest against her stomach, his hand still grasping hers as he drifted asleep once again.  
Little Lupin, it's a wonder you're alive right now. Never ceases to amaze me... The young doctor turned around, and pointed accusingly towards Caleb. Same for you, Simmers. You two are wonders of the medical universe.  
  
As long as you can keep us tidied up for the next challenge, everything's just dandy. Caleb said with a small laugh and curt smile.  
  
Well, Lupin, you're free to go as long as there's no more parading in public under the full moon. Theodore said, tying off a bandage. he jerked it, and tied the knot very tight to get the point across to Remus. You've only so much blood in that body of yours, don't go losing any more, alright?  
  
He promptly, and rather noisily packed up his small supply of equipment, frowning and mumbling to himself all the while. With an amused shake of her head, Melhane followed the man to try and calm his nerves.  
  
You do drive him rather insane. Caleb said with another chuckle. He hadn't stopped smiling since he had seen Remus, and made a show of telling everyone that passed that Remus Lupin had returned to the Underground.  
  
I think we both do. he replied with a slight grimace, stretching his muscles for the first time in a day or so. Squinting hs eyes shut and snapping his head once, he forced himself to stand and wake up.  
  
You look positively elated to see me, brother dearest. Remus murmured, leaning heavily to his left side.   
  
Romolus stormed over, and offered a very firm slap across the face as a greeting. Staggering slightly, Remus looked up, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, only to be hit in the opposite direction.  
  
What the hell are you doing here? Romolus nearly bellowed, scaring the few birds who had remained in the forest.  
  
Easy there, Lupin. Caleb said hastily, stepping in before Romolus could raise his hand once more. He just got a clean bill of health from Theo, don't go breaking that.  
  
I'll break his little neck-  
  
Well good to see you, too! Remus snapped, rubbing his face. It still stung painfully on both sides; he could feel the blood rushing to form a bruise.  
  
Pushing Caleb aside, he advanced once more, and grabbed Remus' robes near his neck, almost lifting his brother upward with the force in which he pulled.  
  
The Ministry's onto us, you've been under suspicion too many times, an Auror knows how to find you, and the school year is almost over. What in God's name are you doing here? he asked viscously.   
  
Remus backed up one step, pulling his shirt straight. Frowning and taking another step towards the wood, he lowered his gaze.  
  
Romolus, it isn't how you may think. I didn't just... Give up. Momentarily he paused, and swallowed his nerves. There's nothing for me at Hogwarts anymore. I've already proven it to everyone, and more importantly myself, that I can break the odds. I went, I succeeded in what I tried, and I found friends who would do anything for me despite my curse.  
  
He choked up. They would understand, they would have to. But he also knew he would have to make the Underground move on to escape not only the Ministry, but the Marauders as well.  
  
Graduating would prove nothing I haven't already learned for myself. And besides, Rom, I belong here. You know that, deep down. Hogwarts was nice, but it's over. I wanted to leave on my own terms.  
  
You went so far, brother, only to back down. he answered, looking absolutely crestfallen.  
  
I don't feel bad about leaving, it was of my own accord. Stop looking like the Ministry just captured me.  
  
Don't even joke of that. he snapped back instantly.  
  
Remus nodded, and shrugged lightly. Rom, I'm here to do what I should have started years ago. It's time I take lead of this.  
  
With only a slight moment more of his disappointment and anger, Romolus allowed himself to accept the current reality. His words couldn't change his brother's mind, and there was no use wishing otherwise. He wouldn't go back unless it was of his own will.  
  
There was a slight rustling off towards the thick of trees, and the three men turned to find Rhint rushing through.  
  
she screeched, lunging at Remus and holding him out in front as a human shield. Before he had time to ask what was wrong or worry, he was tackled to the ground.  
  
  
  
Laughing, and trying to roll tot he side to lift himself from atop Rhint, Remus managed to grab each of the boys.  
  
Calm down you little runts!  
  
Not so little anymore. Rhint grumbled angrily, brushing the dirt from her shabby clothes. She watched rather ruefully as Remus and the twins rolled about on the ground in their own playful wrestling match, tangled together in a multi-limbed mass of dusty hair and laughter.  
  
Good to see you're all still at strength. he said with a chortle, shoving Corey to the ground and sitting atop him. In no time at all, the young boy had flipped his adoptive parent to face the dirt.  
  
I give! I give! Remus yelled out, smiling in slight pain. Caleb, get them off of me!  
  
Oh, hell no. the man snorted, taking a few steps back. Last time I tried to break up one of their fights, well, I wasn't moving much the next day.  
  
In a single moment, a quiet breath of air, a gentle laugh, a heart throw between family, a shake of the head from a standing stranger, they all ceased their greeting and stood in stunned awe, eyes alive.  
  
Caleb, get them out-  
  
His sentence was cut off, as a hooded figure burst through the thick of wood before he had time to make the request. Instinctively, he pulled both boys to him, shoving them behind his legs as he drew his wand.  
  
Summoning the noise from the depths of his chest, Caleb let out a shrill, echoing cry that was not quite human, though tinged with the howl of a wolf in distress. The old alpha had let the warning ring, and in a moment, every being that heard had snapped to attention.  
  
The Underground was a blaze of movement. Swift bodies twined through the wood, their footsteps mingling in with the braying of livestock. Every able being of the curse was in a frantic, yet fluid rush of defense.  
  
Remus closed his eyes, and for his thoughts, time its perpetual flow seemed to slow almost to a halt. He could feel every breath of the twins on his hand, feel their light clinging to his pantleg and hear their soft whimpers of instinctual fear.  
  
Behind him, the snap of a single twig at the forest floor made the hairs of his neck stand up, his ears twitch backwards, his palms begin to sweat. A spark traveled like a raging fire to his mind, his senses catching the familiar and chilling scent of two individuals.   
  
Pupils dilated to an unnatural degree, Remus struggled to gain control of his logical mind and suppress the wolf. He spoke nothing to the young boys, but they knew well enough his message. They were of the canine mindset as well; under attack, they all reverted to their primitive selves. Immediately they sprinted off at a rate that would startle anyone unfamiliar with werewolves to where they knew sanctuary to be.  
  
Remus' head panned left, and he braced himself for the impact that was coming. He didn't see the figure, but he was aware of the onslaught. In a second, he was on the ground.  
  
No more than a blink in the eye of old man Time had passed until the battle was resolved. A single swift movement had his head slammed against the ground, and too fragile was the skull to withstand the impact. The black-covered body fell to the ground, alongside the pale flesh of Caleb Simmers.  
  
Not sparing a moment to check either beyond a small sniff to sense condition, he burst off to join the fray.  
My Lord, I have only the highest distaste for the creature, but I would like to suggest you do not mess with him or his filthy little mate.  
  
Remus tried to open his eyes, but was met with a blinding pain in his head. Almost yelling out in shock, he struggled to take in a breath, so sharp was the jolt.   
  
His wolfen mind took over instantly, and alerted him of several things. On the first degree, he had no idea where he was. There wasn't a single scent that he could recognize as far as location went. And more importantly, he _did_ recognize a few people. One of which he could barely detect as living.  
  
You are classmates with the boy, aren't you?  
  
The man standing in front of him seemed to shiver. Remus shallowed his breathing, trying to take in all that he could without giving off of his consciousness.  
  
My Lord, I beg you to not misinterpret my words as a plea for his life. I wish nothing more than to see this filth suffer for the disgusting dog that he is.  
  
Remus almost smiled. Snape. It made sense, then. The Slytherin had joined in on the raid, and apparently that explained where he was in part. Some sort of meeting point for the Dark mages.   
  
And the two laying at each side, almost devoid of life. He shivered, against his will, as they were so close to fading away.  
  
I do not doubt your hatred for the creature, my dear boy; you cannot lie to me. Your intentions seem somewhat unclear, I must confess.  
  
He is the leader, the alpha if you will, of that mangy pack. To end his life will only send them in an uproar. They will not fear your power, they will only rebel against it. If you wish to bring the pets of your darkness home, they must come to respect their Master. Overthrowing their structure will make them run. he replied, his voice cold and monotonous.  
  
And you are proposing what, young boy? You would do well to prove your loyalty... I am open to suggestion.  
  
Small whispers echoed through the area, seeming to swirl and follow a path unnatural for any sort of room or clearing.   
  
Send him back, My Lord, and allow his woman and the child to go as well. Leave them as they are. They will see your power, but also that you control their fate. One by one they will defect. We left many for dead, so they know your power. But end their lives, and there will be too slim a chance for any to answer the Call.  
  
Bastard.' Remus thought to himself. The hollow, lifeless voice that belonged to the said Lord had begun to answer, but stopped. So slowly Remus felt him moving closer, though he caught no scent. He seemed to possess no scent at all.  
  
A cold hand gripped his neck; a chill like liquid ice swept through his body as he was lifted upwards.  
  
Little wolf, trying to make such a name for himself. How brave you are... Yet such a fool. There is no life for the path you've chosen... There will be no life for your kin if you continue so. I will have you for my pets, or you will die. There is no choice. it hissed, the noise ringing in Remus' ear. He opened his eyes, but by then he had fallen to the ground atop of Rhint.  
  
Severus Snape peered down at him, his face hidden behind a thing mask of black cloth. His eyes were empty to anyone else, but Remus saw what wasn't said. With a halfhearted nod, Remus let his head rest and allowed the darkness to engulf him once more.  
Remus, how are we going to get out of this mess?  
  
He shook his head very slightly, unable to reach more a degree of rotation. Everything was sore, and his head was alight with a fire of pain if he tried to move.  
  
The Underground's going to fall apart, whether by deaths or loss to this Dark Lord' and his followers... But I'll be damned if I abandon this. I'm not giving up.  
  
A hand found its way to hs shoulder, and Remus tried to look up. With a cringe, he instead waited for him to walk around into view.  
  
Back from the grave so soon, are you Caleb? Romolus laughed, giving him a welcome slap on the back as he helped the aching man sit down.  
  
Why he didn't finish me off... He knows better than to restrain himself when using the Killing Curse. Hell, he's about the only one of them that knows.  
  
Shouldn't they be awake by now? Rom asked with a yawn. It had been a very long night. Hardly anyone of the considerably smaller Underground had slept through the night, and the breaking sun was a dim reminder of the previous trial.  
  
Caleb nodded, and shifted his weight upon his cane. Doc Theo says they'll be up pretty soon... Corey woke up right away. Little runt has more spunk in his soul than a human body should be able to restrain. he said with the hint of a smile. He's off with Jason right now, singing high-tales about his   
  
And Rhint? Remus asked, looking outward across the hill. Not so long ago, it seemed to him, they had laid out at the very spot one still night, listening to the silence around. The same ghost shadow of the moon had hung overhead...  
  
She'll survive. Caleb answered, though his voice seemed more strained. Theo says she's not well enough suited to survive the curse, since her blood's so mixed as far as magic goes. The more pure wizards or Muggles fair better, as do those who were double-bit. I can only assume Corey's recovery was because of the pure concentration of lycanthropy in his veins.  
  
When will she be up? he repeated, not wanting a lengthy lecture on the workings of werewolves. He had far too much time ahead of him to ponder such mysteries; now was the time to worry for what was present.  
  
With a slight sigh, Caleb offered a shrug. A few days, maybe, he doesn't know. None of us can really guess all too well.  
Nodding to himself, Remus let his mind distance itself from the rest of the conversation. He could hear mumbling talk of the Curse, of the Call to this new leader of the Dark forces, and of reconstruction. Caleb sounded far too tired, and he wobbled uneasily on his support rod. Every few minutes, Romolus would offer himself as a brace, but the help was never accepted. So much pride...  
  
So what's going to happen now?' he thought to himself, hanging his head down. It was too much to even keep his eyes open any longer, to look around and see the broken souls wandering through the smokey wood. He needed rest, he needed to lay down and forget of all troubles so very badly. But peace of mind would not grace him, and instead he had to suffer reality.  
  
Why can't there ever be calm? So often... So often I have to face these wars. I tire... There is only so long I can go on, so thin I can be stretched before I run out.'  
  
To God, to himself, to the very essence of life he spoke without words. Hands folded together on his lap, Remus hunched forward, trying to curl himself up securely.  
  
If I stay, the Underground will face so much pain... This Dark Lord wants me for his own army. But to go there... I could never. I belong with the Light.'  
  
Always trapped in the middle, aren't you Lupin? Caleb asked softly, painfully lowering himself to his knees. You're wanted for the Dark, though you belong with the Light, with your friends and Dumbledore. Yet we need you here. I don't see how we could stay together with you gone...  
  
I can't make this choice, Caleb. It was simple before, almost, but I can't do this anymore. Something... Something has to change.  
  
He stood up, and without meeting his mentor's eyes, he walked off down the small hill, towards the shaken camp of werewolves.   
  
It was his choice to make.  
**A/n-** I know, I'm sorry. Life's been insane again, and I wont bother trying to throw down an excuse. I need to stop slacking off on you guys. More will come when it's written...  
  
Iggie


	92. Part XCII Security

A/n- Alright people, screw. I decided to go a little odd with this one. More will be explained in the second part/93, so you'll have to hold tight for a while. Only one more month of school and then I'm free to write.  
  
  
  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XCII - Security  
  
  
  
  
He looks a mess.  
  
Don't they always? Caleb muttered dismally, turning away from the battered child. With a small sigh, he shook his head and let his new wife lead him off down the camp's main trail.  
  
  
  
Eyes snapping back to attention, Remus was startled at the sharp, but fairly quiet outburst. He knelt down, closer, and then his eyes went wide.  
  
  
  
In... In my pocket, please, I need- the boy stammered, struggling to breath. His hands limply went to his chest, trying to grasp something that wasn't there.  
  
Remus sat motionless, too stunned to react. Another outburst from the boy finally sparked his mind into working.  
  
Is this- he started to ask, but the tiny vile was grabbed from him. Small, pale hands plucked the cork stopper off, and the boy downed the vial. Blood-red liquid crept down the sides of his mouth and across his dirty cheeks. His chest rose unsteadily, high off the blanket that had been laid down for for him, and a frightening, airy gasp echoed with each breath he took.  
  
Remus tried to ask, his mind torn. He was so concerned, as the boy looked fragile enough to break at the slightest touch. But his senses were in an outrage.  
  
The most startling eyes Remus had ever seen finally peered up into his own. Swirls of red amidst a sea of deep amber, haunting and endless. Remus shivered. His left eye was of the purest, most unnatural shade of ice blue he had ever seen in nature, let alone on a person. A white crescent scar curled his brow and cheek, breaking at his blue eye. Remus wanted to ask, but couldn't find words.  
  
Can you... Can you please, I need water... he said. Remus couldn't tear himself away from the unblinking stare.  
  
How did you find us?  
  
I've been looking for years. It's been... So long. he said faintly, his quiet voice cracking. Remus wanted to know more, but he knew the boy's body was giving out. He Summoned his flask of water, which was gulped greedily in a frenzied rush.   
  
Water dripping down his front, mixing with the thick potion, for the first time it seemed, the boy let out a breath. It was as if he was afraid to let any air escape, for fear it wouldn't return.  
  
He thrust out his hand, rather high for it to be shaken. Remus understood the gesture, and lightly sniffed. His mind erupted once more. He wasn't wrong.  
  
Remus Lupin, as you know. he said, almost to himself.   
  
The boy nodded, and started to mumble something, but the sounds drifted past Remus like a cool wind. Such bright, dizzying ice in that eye...  
  
Please, make sure they find her. he muttered weakly, coughing after a moment. He pushed Remus' offered hand away, curling up slightly as his body convulsed. He shook his head several times, trying to motion Remus away.  
  
Respecting his privacy, Remus waited only long enough to see that he was alright. Only half the distance to his own hammock, Rhint crept up on him. She looked and emitted an aura of agitation, and was jittery on her feet.  
  
Something wrong? he asked slowly, his mind still slightly blurred.   
  
Rhint frowned, furrowed her brows, and backed away slightly.  
  
That woman from your school is here. she said uneasily, wringing her hands together. And she brought that boy with her.  
  
Oh, God. Remus muttered. He knew his friends would be trying to find him, but not Ms. Horder. His stomach lurched with a pang of guilt, and he felt nauseous very suddenly. Rhint put her hands on his chest and back right as he started to fall forward, supporting him quite easily.  
  
Go to the medical field. she said promptly, in such a tone that he couldn't utter a protest. Not that he wanted to open his mouth; he was feeling quite sick...  
  
Figuring he would head in that direction to satisfy her iron-willed request and later turn off, Remus nodded briefly. She walked with him a few paces, stopped as she heard a faint call of her name from the main camp, and parted with a kiss to his cheek.  
  
Hey! Hey, please, don't do that! She isn't going to- No, please, _don't_! Just back off and- NO!  
  
Remus cocked his head back, and saw the boy with the cyan eye calling out. He was sitting partially upright, resting all his weight on his horribly thin left arm, waving the other frantically. Curious, Remus started to go in that direction, forgetting his professor and his nausea.  
  
Just let her go, please! the boy, Roufuss, called out. His voice was rather frail, and raspy at the volume he was attempting. As Remus neared, he could see the boy's chest heave with each urgent shout. He was squirming on the cloth cot, looking as though he desperately wanted to leap from it.  
  
For what, Remus didn't see right away. Once again he found himself transfixed by the icy eye, until he smacked into something very solid.  
  
Mr. Lupin, sir!  
  
His vision temporarily gone, Remus relied on the voice to keep his place. A hand reached out, grabbed him by the forearm, and he was jerked away. When the black veil was lifted from his eyes as his head eased, he found himself behind a quartet of sturdy men from the Underground. A slightly younger man was in front of them, and fighting with all his might to keep a sheer black horse calm. Ropes had been tied about its neck and muzzle, and the creature was rearing furiously.  
  
What's he doing out here?  
  
Not one of ours, sir! one of the men, a burly fellow in his fifties, called. The horse reared up again, kicking out at the group. Someone reached for a wand, but Remus grabbed his hand.  
  
He's not one of ours. he said quickly, hearing the young boy's calls echo in his mind. Disarm yourselves!  
  
Two of the men looked back in disbelief, but did as their respected leader commanded. Pushing ahead, Remus broke between the two men guarding him, and shoved aside the man holding the horse. For a moment, his heart fluttered, seeing the beast before him. It was not large at all, and rather diminutive for a horse at all, but there was such ferocity in the animal's eyes that he couldn't help being struck with flight fear.  
  
he said softly, holding the rope to the horse's muzzle very slack. He didn't let go, only to keep it from bolting. There was no intention for him to restrain the creature.  
  
Mr. Lupin, sir, you should-  
  
he snapped, though not harshly. After a moment of silence, broken only by the boy calling out once more, the horse settled. He lowered to all four, his hooves dancing lightly in agitation on the dusty ground.  
  
Roufuss, is this your horse? he asked gently, though loud enough for the boy to hear. Two black ears pricked forward at the name, and a small spark ignited in the horse's eyes. With his rage gone, he realized his master was nearby. It let out a delighted whiney, and tugged, almost playfully, at the rope Remus still held.  
  
You'd best come get this animal before he decides to kick one of us again. one man said resentfully. The boy didn't reply.  
  
Remus, now smiling, removed the tie from the horse and freed it of the other ropes. A hand on its neck to guide him, they walked past the stunned men and to the isolated cot of the medical field.  
  
As the black horse neared, his steps became urgent, and he whinnied once more. Breaking free from Remus, he trotted clumsily, and found his owner. Remus was amazed as the horse stopped, and bent its knees slightly. In a moment's time, it was on the ground, a position that defied all instincts any sane horse should have.  
  
What in... he muttered in awe, watching the horse nudge the tiny boy with his muzzle. Roufuss, who looked much happier than before, wrapped his arms around the horse's neck, and then the animal started to move. In one sweep, he craned his neck and swung it back sharply, helping the boy onto his back.  
They shared a long pat and quiet words of welcoming, the boy leaning against the mane in contentedness.  
  
Mr. Lupin, should we have that animal-  
  
Leave it, he's part of the Underground. Remus said shortly, watching with intrigue. Why hadn't the boy gotten up to help his companion?  
  
He had no time to ponder, however, as a very unenthused woman stepped into his line of vision.  
  
Mr. Lupin, a few words, if you will. she snapped, almost yelling. There was a trail of several Underground men and women behind her, all with faces full of outrage.  
  
One, in particular, made Remus' stomach swirl again.  
  
  
  
I would have thought you wiser than running away again, Mr. Lupin. Dumbledore said solemnly, his eyes devoid of their usual cheerfulness. Remus turned away, looking instead at the pebbled at his feet.  
  
I'm not running, sir. This is my choice.  
  
You choose filth, despair, and persecution over your friends, security, and all you wanted? Horder interjected, her face blank. The Ministry is after all of you, and they're damn close to finding this entire nomadic pack. Even the Dark One wants you for his own. I've heard tell of slaughtering, suicides by those unable to stay sane through the whispers he spreads at every moon. You choose a life plagued with hatred, when you could have so much more?  
  
He took in a breath, closed his eyes. Every night he went through this in his mind, but here it was before him once again.  
  
Celia brought me here because the Ministry is coming tonight, Remus. Dumbledore went on. Some whispers spread through the small crowd that had gathered, and more than one person started to run off to tell word. Caleb wisely stopped them short and instead hustled everyone away.  
  
It's graduation in the morning. Ms. Horder said, her tone almost lifeless. She didn't sound angry, and hardly looked it. This unsettled Remus. You need to come back, if only for that.  
  
he asked, looking up. I worked, as hard as I could, and it was in vain for part. I'm never going to be able to fit in with the rest of the wizarding world. A Hogwarts diploma wont do me a damn thing to keep society from shunning me. At least here I'm with kin.  
  
What about Black, and Pettigrew? Potter and Evans? Don't you care about them at all?  
  
His stomach lurched again; so that's what this was all about. He hadn't even been aware of his precogs, he was so used to ignoring them. Part of him had been dreading this all along.  
  
They're about the only thing that makes this difficult. he replied with gritted teeth.  
  
Remus, we know you're life here isn't easy, and I wouldn't begin to say that life in our world would be any less difficult-  
  
I can take the problems, that's not it. he snapped.  
  
Then why are you so torn, Lupin? Ms. Horder asked, leaning forward, elbows pressed to the fallen tree they used as a table for water flasks. If you can handle the pain and prejudice outside, why do you run?  
  
  
  
You're damn noble for running this nomadic troop of those in distress, but it's a guise, Lupin, I can see through this. You may love all the people here, and want to help with every ounce in your soul, but if you're so damn positive you can take the pain outside, why are you torn?  
  
Celia, that's enough. Dumbledore said quietly, his hand on her shoulder. He pulled her back slightly. She rolled her shoulder away indignantly, and frowned. Her eyes locked with Remus' and she carried on regardless.  
  
This world is eating itself away, kid, and you have the potential to help change it for the better. Staying here is only going to bring your downfall, and you know it. The Dark One wants your kind for his pets, the Ministry wants your kind for being of Dark blood. You can't escape both.  
  
And what of everyone here? he asked, his voice shallow and empty. The young girls with tattered clothes, young boys who an barely survive their own monthly curse... The elderly who've seen far more than any human should, the women who suffer for their lost family... What of them? What of all we've done, Caleb, my brother... Will it just be in vain? His voice raised, a flush of passion washing over him. We fight our own bodies just to keep a heartbeat, scream in our own minds for a glimmer of hope that someday the pain will cease. Living through gunfire, curses, bloody wounds so deep you don't want to heal... Even the small ones are left alone for all that suffering, struggling to keep alive as they travel place to place.  
  
Romolus cringed, feeling the sorrow his brother had lived on his own.  
  
Do you want me to abandon everyone, all these people who have worked so hard and look up to me now? I can't just leave them here to die by the hands of a mage, Dark or not. No one will ever accept us except ourselves. This pack is all we have, and whether or not I want to be I'm something of their leader.  
  
Ms. Horder smiled softly, and shook her head, tresses of hair shadowing her tired face. Why do you think they admire you, Lupin? Because you can fight, because you escape?  
  
  
  
You've done something they haven't ever had the chance to. You can walk out, freely, and have a place in Hogwarts. Waiting for you are four people who would give anything to see you again. Lupin, don't you get it? They're waiting for you to break the rules.  
  
I think she has a point, Mr. Lupin. Dumbledore said, nodding to himself. So many small children here, it astounded me at first. and they all smile in awe as you walk past, whisper in delight about your parades at Hogwarts. I don't mean to unsettle you, but many of your pack, the adults as well, wish very much to see you graduate.  
  
Confirm to them that there is hope. Horder continued, leaning close again. She forced him to meet her eyes, and Remus swallowed tight. Leaving may render them defenseless, but what's security without hope for freedom?  
  
He let his head fall downwards, limp on his neck, willing his eyes to stop welling up. _Stop it, you have to..._  
  
If I go back, the Ministry will come after me.  
  
Remus, they have you tagged and tracked. Ms. Horder said almost absently, as if it were the latest weather update. Stand and fight, but don't let them take you with your head down in shame.  
  
His eyes welling up, Remus nodded, knowing it was something he would finally have to confront.  
  
We'll leave as soon as you're ready.  
  
_I may never be ready for this.'  
  
  
  
  
  
_**A/n-** I'm sorry for the delay, and I wish I had a better excuse. I cut the chapter short and the next one will be more of 92 part 2 than chapter 93. Figured you guys needed something for now.  
  
  
More when it's done.  
  
  
  
  
  



	93. Part XCIII Wide Open

  
  
Seeing Grey - Part XCIII - Wide Open  
  
You're leaving, aren't you?  
  
Remus nodded his head, weakly following Ms. Horder's lead. She had her arm looped to his, deftly guiding him as he walked along. His mind hadn't settled, and he seemed to be dead walking.  
  
To Hogwarts?  
  
Boy, I'm sorry, we have to get going. You'll need to stay with the rest of the-  
  
They're going to capture you.  
  
Ms. Horder stopped, glaring at the irritating child with the most voracious look she could summon. Little boy, there are things you don't understand, more is at stake than-  
  
I know. Remus said, snapping his head up and silencing both the young rider and his professor. It seems that the entire Underground has had the same precog... It doesn't matter. The Ministry is going to catch me either way, you know that Roufuss, do you not?  
  
The boy rubbed the neck of his horse, and leaned very slightly. His tiny horse inched closer and then promptly cut the small group off.  
  
It'll be morning by the time you get there, and the Ministry will come soon after. They're going to kill you, as an example, they want to use you as a scapegoat for the Dark activity at Hogwarts-  
  
Remus barked, raising his voice and sharpening his gentle tone. He broke his arm free from Ms. Horder, and pushed her back slightly. Shaking his head, he let his hand rest on the boy's shoulder and initiated a short, silent communication.  
  
Roufuss, you know the Underground is going to fail. We all know that. You haven't been here long, but I _know_ you can understand this. There are things I have to prove, to myself, my friend, to everyone. If I have to fall, then so be it. This is my story and I'll let this chapter end how I want.  
  
The boy, who seemed to be so much older than he had earlier in the day, fumbled to sit upright on his horse. He grabbed his left leg, swinging it around by force. Remus hadn't realized it was a useless limb.  
  
I've had nothing but failure my whole life! he declared, his face twisted up angrily. Everything's been wrong! I finally found my way here, and all the things I heard- I even had a Vision-  
  
So has everyone. Remus said shortly, interrupting what could have been quite a tirade. We _all_ knew this would happen, sooner or later. I decided to stop running and let life catch up with me.  
  
This isn't fair. the boy declared roughly, his mismatched eyes narrowing.  
  
If nothing has been fair for you so far, one more won't hurt you.  
  
How can you say that? For the past day, all I've heard is how you're a saint, how you brought this all together with that Caleb man, how hard you work to make things right! Why would you walk away from this?  
  
Remus shook his head, and leaned in. He pat his hand on the small horse's neck, and ran it along the shimmering black coat as he thought.  
  
I have my own life, you know? he asked, half to himself. Everyone here, they mean the world to me even if they can't hear me. I mean, over half don't speak English, but because we're a pack... They understand. Everyone understands, and has for the longest time. I've just never been able to see it myself.  
  
Remus looked up, and could tell the boy wasn't following him. Your life has been difficult, for that's I'm sure. But mine wasn't easy either, and helping the Underground hasn't been in the slightest. Every single person here I have a connection to. They're part of my family, they're kin to me.  
  
Then why are you leaving them to die?  
  
Drawing in a cold breath, he shook his head. For so many years, I haven't been able to understand one simple thing, and it's finally coming to me now.  
  
What's that? Roufuss inquired, his mismatched eyes curious.   
  
I may be part of this... Society, but I have my own life, and I have to make my own choices. This is something I have to do, even if it means sacrificing one of the things I hold dearest to me.  
  
Roufuss shook his head, and struggled to pull himself correctly on hs horse. Giving it a pat on its side and a sharp Yah!', he bolted off in anger.  
  
No one's ever going to understand this... Remus muttered to himself.  
  
Hey kid.  
  
He stopped, forced to by her grip on his shoulder. Yeah? What is it?  
  
Ms. Horder looked tired, he noticed that much immediately. It has been a while since he had seen her, let alone shared a conversation. How much had he missed happening?  
  
You'll arrive in the morning, close to nine.  
  
Apparating back?  
  
Yes. Dumbledore has already left, he has several things to settle with the Ministry preceding your return.  
  
Remus took in a cold breath, the feeling of distress returning. They'll be waiting for me-  
  
Remus, when you arrive, it'll be graduation.  
  
He blinked. Had he been gone so long...  
  
The Ministry is going to be waiting for you, as I'm sure you're aware. They do not know that you're coming, since we've avoided the Floo Network, but they'll know the instant you set foot in the school. Do you-  
  
No, I don't. Not yet. he answered pushing onward. The wood was beginning to thin, he was close to the Muggle roads now. A few more miles and he'd be able to access the overseas transport station...  
  
You should go. he muttered.  
  
She stepped out in front of him, and waited for his eyes to meet hers. She was frowning, almost, but smiling just the same. It was an impossible expression, a blend of confused eyes and straining features.   
  
Kid, I wish I could somehow understand what you go through, or make it any easier for you, but I can't. Just, one thing Remus...  
  
She was doing a terrible job getting her words out, Remus thought to himself with a smirk. It was the wrong to be amused, but he was too neurotic to resist.  
  
You're one of the brightest, most heartfelt individuals I've ever met. The fact that you've kept your heart through everything... Kept yourself true.  
  
I've done a lot of harm-  
  
But dammit, kid, you're still a better person than most anyone I know! she snapped, her face scrunching up like it always did when she was livid. Everything is falling apart, kid, everything. The Dark's taking over on every front. It'll only be a few years, if that, until we're completely overpowered. No one will acknowledge it... And you, you've been at it first hand your whole life in a sense. Remus no matter what happens, you have to keep fighting it.  
  
I don't have a choice-  
  
Of course you do. Horder interrupted again. Your choice will affect far more people than mine could, than most. Your burdens are terrible, but that's what sets you apart.  
  
I didn't ask for this life, but it's what I have now... I'm not trying to be a hero, Ms. Horder, I don't _want_ to be a hero.  
  
Chivalry is not a choice, kid, it's something that springs from your very being. Heroism is not something you chose. It's a result of actions. Remus, everything you do... Most everything you do, she corrected, smirking very slightly. is selfless. You work for your friends, and for those strays back there. I've met very few wizards like you, far too few...  
  
And it doesn't even matter. Remus mumbled to himself, pushing on. They were along a Muggle road now, paved and tidy. The road lines were clean and smooth, continuing along straight in perfect direction. They had nothing but consistency. He resented those perfect lines.   
  
Doesn't matter?  
  
She snapped out of view, and in a slight puff of air, was directly in front of him. Her vicious, fiery eyes returned with all the vigor from their first encounter. She had an intoxicating stare that he couldn't break, despite wishing against the connection.  
  
Remus, you've helped to save so many lives, how many men, _boys_, can say that?  
  
Saved them from what? An end to their suffering?  
  
You saved them from living lives devoid of any hope. You saved them from losing their souls, and there's nothing greater than that. Don't you _dare_ fall into some pathetic doubt about yourself and your actions, kid. Don't even bother.  
  
She paused, and smiled briefly once again. You've a lot of fights ahead of you, and I pray to whatever deity will listen that you'll keep your heart. Dark times are ahead, and the world needs more of you.  
  
I don't think the world could handle one more Remus Lupin.  
  
Celia Horder laughed, the sound echoing through the area, and disappeared from his sight.  
  
God, what am I doing?  
  
_What has to be done to save yourself.  
  
_So many years seemed to have caught up with her, at long last. A once vibrant coat was now matted and flecked with dull, split silver hairs. Her back sunk from age, sharply sloping down. She was emaciated, her ribs spiking through what used to be a defined mesh of muscle. Even her gait was showing wear, choppy and creaking.  
  
_It has been a while, little wolf.  
  
_Too long, Shebea, far too long. he said with a tired sigh. His battered satchel swung limp from his elbow as he eased down to a kneel. Like before, he scratched lightly behind her ears. Closing her eyes and twisting her head in delight, Shebea made a content little growl of thanks.  
  
_What has brought you back? I had thought you gone.  
  
_I've been running from everything, including myself, for far too long. I'll end this when I'm ready, and...  
  
_You do not sound confident in your choice. Possibly, you are not ready to admit an end?  
  
_Remus shook his head, and pursed his lips. They stung; he hadn't noticed how dry they had become over the journey. In absent-minded thought, he chewed away a flake of skin.  
  
My pack, both of my packs, are going to be torn from me tonight. Shebea, I'm ready to stop running from myself, but I don't wish to lose them.  
  
_They will always have you in their hearts, with their soul, so long as you do not run from_ them_. You have been hiding from both, and I know your pack here mourns it deeply. Little wolf, I know you do not intend so, but you are hurting them so very much. You musn't run again, little one. Stay now, for them and yourself. None of you are strong alone.  
  
_I know, and I'm here now... Regardless of any lingering second thoughts, I can't go back. But Shebea... What am I going to say? How can I face them after doing this again...  
  
He took in a humid breath of air, and swallowed nervously. All the miles he had walked had not been enough to conjure a single thing to say to his friends upon reunion. He felt very fatigued, suddenly.  
  
Shebea sensed his discomfort and wandering thoughts, and nipped his fingertip.  
  
_Words are not always needed, little one. The wild one has been down in my forest many times, playing with my pups-  
  
_Shebea! You have-  
  
_and he is in much distress. The girl with fire hair and emerald eyes, she sits by the lake with her mate. They say nothing, and yet much is shared. They all ache for your return.  
  
_You old girl, when did you-  
  
_You have been gone a while, little wolf, and it has been longer since you visited. Things have changed._ she barked, and with a canine smile and another nip she left in a graceful, aging stride into the thickest wood.  
  
Remus smiled, and shook his head. Things _have_ changed, I just hope many aren't for the worst, old friend.  
  
His feet felt like stone bricks, molded together with the floor itself. He had let the hours pass while he waited, trying desperately to think of anything to tell James, Sirius, everyone. Tomorrow would be the end, but he wished for a welcome first.  
  
He almost chuckled at how nervous he was of facing his friends, and at the lack of jitter for facing Ministry persecution.  
  
Everything I've put them through, and now I'm just walking back in to announce my leave. God, what am I doing...  
  
Slowly, painfully, he took several steps away and let his back press against the cool stone wall. It sent a chill through his spine, easing some of his nerves. Liquid knees gave out, and he slid to the floor, hugging his legs tight to his chest.  
  
What am I doing... he repeated quietly, to no one, not even himself. It was a question that should not have an answer.  
  
He received one anyway.  
  
Just what you always do, Lupin. run away, be a hero, and come crawling back to break everyone's little heart.  
  
His face was bruised, his eyes swollen with darkening flesh. He looked devilish with such bloodshot eyes and pale skin under the blemishes.  
  
As always, his scowl was like that of a statue.  
  
What happened?  
  
Resisting the Dark has become a chore in your absence. Your presence gave the few of my House not involved a scapegoat, to mock and look up to all the same. They've fallen, and now I am a target once again. My loyalty is continually on trial. Snape said as if he were discussing the weather, so casually. He leaned against the same wall, some feet down, and held his left rubbed as he went on.  
  
Why did you come back this time? All of us, those who know you're not with the Dark Army, had figured you alone or dead.  
  
The Ministry knows I'm here by now. I came to make things right with myself before they come for me.  
  
Snape uttered. You're a fool, Lupin, because now there is no one left. Play the hero, sure and fine, and leave us to watch you be dragged away to your death. That's all fine and God-damned dandy that you're making amends with your tragic self, but what about the rest of us?  
  
Not this time, Severus. he replied.   
  
Snape understood, and simply nodded.  
  
The password is blueberry butterbean'. he said, and left without another word.  
  
You really should say hello to them, dear. The whole lot of them have been worried sick. the Fat Lady whispered with a giggle. That fiery young lass keeps coming in with the Potter boy, in tears usually. I can't rightly deny her in, what with her House being the way it is... No, not at all. In fact, I think-  
  
Blueberry butterbean. Remus interrupted as he pushed himself up.  
  
With an indigenous sort of frown as if insulted, the portrait swung open, and Remus let out a final breath of air.  
  
They turned around as the portrait creaked shut. Stunned faces, a small gasp, and an utter lack of movement.  
  
Their eyes told him everything, and Remus let himself cry with a smile.  
  
Nothing was said as they rushed to an embrace. No words were passed, only warm touch, thankful looks and the scent of home.  
  
Remus smiled again, and pulled his friends closer, simply glad to be where he belonged.  
  
**A/N-** So there you have it. After a very tiring wait, I finally got my sorry ass around to some quiet writing time. Family situation's changed a bit, so even being out for the summer isn't helping my writing along. We'll just hope the next, and possibly last (though the thought frightens me) chapter, comes along quickly.  
  
Cheers, my friends.  
  
Iggie 


	94. Part XCIV Requiem

  
  
Seeing Grey - Part LXIV - Requiem  
  
He had lost track of the time hours ago, and he was too tired to read the great grandfather clock correctly. Dim light peeped through the bottom of the dorm room door, so Remus figured the sun was starting to rise by now.  
  
They had departed to the boy's dorm to avoid being seen for the night. Hours, long hours they spent talking, catching up, but neglecting explanations. True to their nature, no one had meddled and pried for a reason and just welcomed him home all the same.  
  
How very lucky he was. He had been pondering that very though for some time back in the common room, having retreated once everyone fell asleep.  
  
  
  
He looked up and saw a very stressed professor McGonnagal standing before him, though in an entirely wrong dimension.  
  
Remus rolled over so he wasn't staring at her upside down on the couch.  
  
I believe you have some examinations and paperwork to complete before we can allow you to graduate. she said quickly, her lips stiff. She was clearly not pleased with his conduct, though fighting a smile of relief to see him returned in one piece.  
  
Exams. How many days of class had he missed in total? There was no way he could take his exams now, and so soon before...  
  
Graduation is to commence in thirteen hours. There is much to be done by then, Mr. Lupin. You would be wise to follow me.  
  
She did not hesitate, and climbed out of the portal, Remus frantically stumbling after her.  
  
  
  
You will only be permitted to graduate if you pass all of your required examinations. You are allowed to exempt two of them, as under the circumstances the Headmaster granted you an exception. Your base courses may not be exempted. You will have until noon to finish them, and will be notified of your qualification to graduate this school soon after. Assuming you pass, you are to report directly to me in the Staff Quarters planning room, located-  
  
I know where it is. he said without thinking. She looked at him suspiciously, but continued walking much too briskly towards her classroom.  
  
Very well. she uttered. You are to divide your time as you see fit, but I would suggest to hurry. These exams were to be completed several days ago, and there was a rather heated debate over allowing you to take them late at all. You will not be granted a second chance or any sort of leniency.  
  
They were outside her classroom door now, and she stopped for a moment, wand in hand.  
  
she started, surprising him. Very few professors ever called him by his first name alone. I can only begin to imagine the sort of things you face, and quite frankly, I don't wish to understand them in full. But you remain to be one of the brightest students I've ever had the fortune of instructing. I'm sure you know very well the consequences of your return, and you know that we're powerless to intervene-  
  
I know.  
  
-but you should also know that all of us are in full opposition of what is going to inevitably occur tonight.  
  
Does everyone know now? he asked, looking straight ahead, avoiding her eyes.  
  
Yes. We had to inform all of the staff, and then some. Remus, if you change your mind, we've prepared-  
  
he said firmly, staring down the empty halls. This is something I have to do.  
  
She tapped the doorknob three times, and he followed her inside.  
  
Take your seat and we'll begin. she said, her voice stiff.  
  
Funny how during my last hours at this school I'm busy filling out nonsense about Muggle Secrecy Acts instead of being with my friends.' Remus mused to himself, tapping his quill on the wooden desk. He shifted his weight, the chair screeching from the change.  
  
Even more amusing how I used those very charms to help the Underground.' he added to himself, smiling. One dip of the quill, and he began to scratch away at the thick off-white parchment.  
  
The Underground... What would happen to them now? Caleb would never recover from his injuries well enough to lead raids, especially not with the security increases. And the Dark war, how many of his kind would fall prey to their very on blood?  
  
Thirty minutes, Mr. Lupin.  
  
He knew more about secrecy tactics than his professor. It didn't matter to hide that any longer, so he just let out a small sigh and went into startling detail.  
  
After all, he mused, he wouldn't be a Marauder if he didn't go out with a bang.  
  
Remus glanced at his watch, his lips pursed. His exam was supposed to have begun eighteen minutes ago. Idly he started to tap his quill against the desk, forgetting it was one of the testing quills and not his own. It spit out a fountain of black ink all over him, covering his hands and the front of his dull robes.  
  
Oh, bloody Christ. he muttered. He was supposed to graduate in a few hours and his hands were bathed in black stain.  
  
He gave one final peek towards the south entrance to the classroom, and decided he could rush to a restroom before his professor ever showed up. Leaving his books and things behind, Remus hurried out the main door and down the empty hallway.  
  
Now this is just absurd! How dare you fly in here with such weighty accusations, I'll not allow-  
  
Albus, we have proof.  
  
... I will not allow this to occur within my school.  
  
Remus stopped, his eyes to their full diameter, his heart beating furiously. That scent, his mind roared, that scent! There was lead in his shoes, he could swear upon it, they would not rise. He was frozen to the spot, leaning ever so slightly around the corner. That scent, that scent. You must flee, now!  
  
Then we shall wait, and gather him after. He is legally an adult the minute he steps off your stage, we'll detain him then. Does that suit you? It is the law, Albus, you cannot break it once again.  
  
I did not break the law, Samuel. There is nothing explicitly written forbidding a student afflicted such as him from attending Hogwarts-  
  
Loopholes, Albus, you're just finding broken lines in our law! This is absurd, and an outrage. Why, when word of this comes out they'll have your head for endanger the students! I'll not allow this, Albus, not at all.  
  
That voice, so urgent and worried, so full of a suppressed anger... Remus felt a chill drip throughout his blood ever so slowly, freezing him still to his place. He wanted to move, whether to flee or investigate, he could not decide. His mind was split upon fear and curiosity, though both would yield the same result.  
  
There was a slight sigh, and the sound of a chair creaking as it leaned backwards. Two heavy shoes clunked onto a table.  
  
I cannot allow this to pass, Headmaster, you're aware of the law and the public's general dislike for his kind. another voice said, dark and monotonous. There was a foreign drawl to it that Remus couldn't pinpoint. Perhaps his heart was thundering too loudly in his ears. I'll imagine a distinctly venomous reaction, yes, they'll not be pleased. Whatever made you think that this would be a wise idea, Albus? I never thought you a fool for certain, but this is just unnerving. Do they not screen Headmasters in your region?  
  
I'm nothing of a fool, not for this Fleischer. Dumbledore said, almost chuckling to himself. Imprison me if you must, I broke no laws, and I do not regret my decision. In fact, my staff will back me one hundred per cent on this, I can assure you. Half of them hate me, surely you're aware of that. They think me a right codger, but for this, they will agree in their hearts. It is society that is wrong, Fleischer.  
  
Several men in the room chortled, whether at the notion of society being the greater evil, or the comment being directed to the foreign man.  
  
The laughter died, and so did the conversation. Remus faintly heard a rustling of papers, the scratch of a quill from within the nearby office. Here, and there as well. Hurry now, it'll make things easier if you just sign him over now. He'll still be a juvenile if we hurry, it'll be so much easier for the lad. he overheard from some hushed old man with a shaky voice.  
  
There was a most inappropriate snort from the other side of the room. A chair screeched, being pressed backwards as someone got to their feet.  
  
You really think that makes a damn difference, McNeil? You know as well as I do that the kid's as good as dead the moment you lot get your grubby little hands on him.  
  
Now, Celia, that's simply not true. Under law, we can't ex-  
  
Under law? What law, there _is_ no law! she yelled, her voice cracking once in anger. She paced, quickly and unevenly, and Remus assumed she had advanced on someone because there was a shuffle of bodies soon and brief shouts directed to her.  
  
Law is dead and powerless in this land, my good sir. she breathed vehemently. Law died the first time you were helpless to stop the uprisings, the first time, generations ago, that this society allowed the condemning of innocents. It's happening again, McNeil, except this time the victims are becoming the enemy.  
  
Remus jumped back as the door flew open. He wasn't quick enough on his feet to duck behind the corner again, and the flaring, wide eyes of his Dark Arts Professor met his own.  
  
Well, I think you have an exam to attend to. she said through fixated teeth. No rush, of course, they won't _dare_ touch you while I'm around, I'll see to it myself.  
  
In silent awe and fear, Remus followed the billowing robes of the young woman. She walked with her own private, unseen furry of power and an air of dismay that was so powerful it caught him off-guard.  
  
Pick up the pace, kid, we have a lot to do.  
  
His hands were itching so much, covered in uncomfortable sweat, and he couldn't wipe it away. He kept them clamped to his robes, bunching up the fabric to keep his palms dry.  
  
  
  
You have the nerve to tell me to relax when Death is waiting for me outside that door? he barked, his voice broken. She laughed, hallow, and it rang around the empty classroom. Everything had been packed away for the summer break days ago.  
  
You have precognitive abilities, do you not? Since you're still sitting here I'll assume you haven't seen your head chopped yet, kid.  
  
That would be a merciful death. he whispered to himself, though loud enough for her to hear. Whatever papers she had been gathering and marking, she set down, and she turned to him.  
  
Remus, you don't need me to tell you that this is probably the end of your normal life, or however normal it has been. There's nothing we can do to keep them from taking you away once we swear you in as a graduate.  
  
Two grey eyes sparked to life, igniting a feeling all throughout Remus' body. His shoulders went back, he raised his heavy head, and his fists clenched with new intention.  
  
No, I won't-  
  
Remus, if you don't graduate, they have to authority to declare you an adult. This can be pushed as a juvenile case, and you'll keep your life, Dumbledore was promised that they can't execute a child once it's public.  
  
Head shaking, Remus uttered a repeated No.'  
  
You know I can't do that.  
  
Her chest heaved, head thrown back, blinking up at the gently swirling ceiling.  
  
I've contacted Caleb, you brother, everyone. If you leave now, I can get you to their location in twenty minutes and you'll be safe from the Ministry. They can't do a thing if you-  
  
I have given up so much of my life to get here. he interrupted, his eyes watering. The past was painful, but he understood everything. Maybe he didn't then, but he was here, now, and it all made sense. Walking on stage and accepting my graduation is a death sentence, I know.  
  
Her eyes blinked, and once open, showed an endless depth of sadness. There was no anger at the Ministry, no hatred for society, not rushed panic and want of action; only sadness. It hurt him, but there was nothing he could do.  
  
You've already wasted too much effort on me, Miss Horder. Your job standing, your time, everything. I've been dead since I was bitten by that wolf so many years ago, he started, closing his eyes and nodding his head down. Blindly he felt for a wall and leaned backwards, his head swimming in buried memories. Fingers found their way to his forehead, and once more, traced the small circular scar given to hi by his father. I've been dead for so long, inside and out. I never should have survived, Romolus never should have had to sacrifice his own life to carry mine on. But it happened, and here I am now, a werewolf thrown into Hogwarts, about to graduate, about to die. I've not had a choice in anything most of my life... I didn't choose to be bitten, I didn't want my parents to disown me so, and I certainly didn't wish all the pain and misery of me to be forced onto others. That hasn't mattered until now, because here I have my own choice.  
  
Their eyes met, and both shared a breath of reasoning. I'm not running anymore, Miss Horder. This is my life, and it's taken me so long to find my own voice, but I have it now. I won't run away from my problems any longer. I've said that to myself so long, and for once, I'm going to stop making excuses. This is what I want, and I'm sorry... But there will be no more narrow escapes.  
  
**A/n-** Aren't I evil?  
  
Sorry for such the absence everyone, you all know how life can be. I'm going to try and get the hopefully final chapter out for Christmas, but we'll see how that goes. I'm a NaNoWriMo ) participant and took up too much time finishing this off to begin with.  
  
Hate to be brief, my loving readers, but I've other matters to attend to. Hope you've enjoyed the frustratingly slow progress of SG's finale.  
  
-Iggie 


	95. Part XCV The Beginning

XCV - The Beginning

Remus surveyed himself in the small mirror in the Staff Room, turning in small semicircles and straining to hunch down enough to view himself properly. He'd grown again, he finally noticed. It had been quite some time since he has taken the time to check his appearance, as it had never been a worry.

My final and greatest showing before the school, might as well look my finest. he mumbled to himself, squinting as he tried to part his hair evenly.

Oh, don't be such a drag, Moony, you're a sexy ol' chap and you know it. That rugged look really hits it off with the ladies, you know.

Grinning as wide as ever, Sirius Black appeared in the mirror just behind him.

'lo Padfoot, my good man. Where have you been? I'd have thought you would try and find me during my exams or blow something up-Come now, Moony, it's the last day we have in this great school, do you think I'd resort to something as childish as petty explosions? he asked, making a fake look of hurt. Remus grinned, and shook his head.

So, I take all of us marauders are going out with a bang, then? he said, smiling to himself. Sirius caught the grim undertone, and just nodded.

Nothing short of phenomenal, you'll understand. I'd ask you to join in, but we have other things to worry about. And right now, that would most definitely be _you_. He laughed, and started to pluck at the robes McGonnagal had left for him. Remus pushed him off, rolling his eyes as his friend pretended to be the old, fidgety women from the Hogsmeade robe shop. Oh, no no no my dear, this won't do at all. Your shoulders, far too broad for this cut, let me just take that hem up and by all means, chile, those sleeves simply will not _do!_.Come on, you just said I looked fine!Your _hair_ looks fine, Remus, you look like you swallowed a vial of Insta-Grow and your robes are about to pop at the seams. Really, do all werewolves grow like that? I swear, you must shrink sometimes or something...I'm not even that big, though, really. he muttered, looking back in the mirror. The robes were a bit tight, and he couldn't move his arms very much in any particular direction as it was. Sirius had a point.

But your legs are scrawny as a withered tree, you know, and just as long. Not a very proportionate fellow. Sirius said with a shrug, whipping out his wand. Come now, we've work to do. Can't have you presenting yourself to the school looking like a beggar.

Remus nodded to himself, and struggled out of the garments. He stood in his shorts, arms crossed, as his friend tried to remember all his charms.

Seems so casual, but it isn't, even Sirius knows it.' he thought to himself. I won't be seen after this, and my impression now might sway some of them to support me once I'm taken into custody... Can't go looking like I was before with tattered clothes and a scratched face.'

Speaking of which, you should go shave. Maybe that rugged look won't be a good thing once the ladies figure out just how rugged you get every full moon. Might be a bit too kinky for their liking. Sirius said idly, smirking. Remus had been talking to himself and hadn't noticed.

I think I'm losing my mind...Too late for that, Moony, it's been gone for ages. Chipper up, you know? It's not so bad being crazy, and you get used to it after a while. Makes a good excuse for forgetting things and getting out of trouble with the women, too.Is that all you think about? Remus laughed. It had been so _long_ since he had laughed like that, and it felt wonderful, even at the end.

Why, of course. I think you're nutters for not thinking about them all the time, to be honest. You worry us sometimes.

Remus threw a book at Sirius, and just laughed. How long he had wanted to return to this life, if only for a short while.

Their fun was cut short not long after Sirius had his friend wearing a bright-red robe that resembled a woman's ball gown, when their Head of House promptly knocked on the door and told Remus to finish changing. Sirius had quite a difficult time suppressing his laughter and presence as Remus attempted to change the robes back into the respectable Gryffindor-colored graduation robes. He was barely covered when the door opened, and McGonnagal did not look pleased to see Sirius in the room.

Especially displeased, rather, that he was wearing a fluorescent yellow mock of her own designer' witch's hat. He grinned sheepishly, and ducked under her arm and out of the room in a scurry.

Well then, some things just never change, no matter how dire the circumstance. she said with a disgruntled drawl. The little wrinkles near her eyes bunched up in irritation, making her look far older than she was. Sirius had a knack for getting her in a rile, and right now, it was particularly amusing.

Stop standing there like a flustered first-year and finish dressing, we've much to finish before the ceremony can begin. Can't have you holding up the rest of the school, now can we?What time is it?

She glanced at her own golden pocket watch, and frowned even more tightly than before. The ceremony begins in twenty-three minutes. If you are not there, in your seat, I suggest you not show up at all. For what it's worth, Professor Horder is still prepared to remove you from the school should you happen to change your mind. This was said in such a futile manner, even Remus could understand her conflicted emotions. Clearly she respected his choice to stay, but at the same time, she suppressed the urge to drag him out of the castle herself.

She turned to leave, but stopped halfway through her pivot and tisked to herself. Reaching into her long sleeves that hung to her waist, she produced a golden rope and presented it to Remus. It was a moment before he even thought to reach and take it.

The most fine and silky crimson hairs he had ever seen before were woven into a golden braid of similar thread, from what he could not tell. There was no conceivable creature or man-made thread this could have been woven from, and yet it was plainly resting in his own hands. It shimmered with all the glory of true polished gold, the red contrasting like rubies set in jewelry. Complex knots adorned each end, with graceful tassels hanging off. One end of the rope bore the Hogwarts crest, while the other, a new crest he had never before seen.

Mr. Lupin, you must be especially careful with this. McGonnagal interrupted, her voice suddenly soft. She too was looking at the fine rope in similar awe, though she must have seen this many times before, and carried it here as well.

What is it?This was presented to the first top graduate of the school, by Godric Gryffindor himself. It is quite rare that this is honored to a student. Every Headmaster has agreed that it should only be kept for those who display nothing short of exemplary behavior in every regard. The staff has decided that it should belong to you.B... Belong? he stuttered, his hands almost shaking. This was an heirloom of the school, not something to be handed down to someone like him. And was she implying-

Godric could not have chosen a finer student to carry the ropes, Mr. Lupin. We are honored to have it leave our school with you.

There was a warm smile, one he had never witnessed previously, locked firmly on her gentle face. Gone was all the harshness she displayed day to day, gone was the subtle look of gloom in her eyes. There was a light of respect and almost motherly care now, and Remus could only nod in response.

Now, hurry along... Musn't hold up the rest of your class. she said in a hurry, turning and dabbing at her eyes as she closed the door a little too quickly.

Nodding once more to nobody at all, Remus looked at Godric's crest, and felt a small warmth spread throughout himself. Perhaps there was some truth to their choice, he thought.

Best not let down my House Founder during the last stand. he said lightly, unfolding the golden rope and carefully laying it around his neck.

The mirror now reflected someone quit unlike Remus Lupin. In his place stood a proud Gryffindor, dressed proper and neat, a brave smile and firm stance.

There was no denying his heart now. It was time to face his last, and most grand presentation before the school.

Hey, Moony.

James was grinning ear to ear as Remus slipped into his seat as the last flock of his class entered the Great Hall. Like everyone else, he was dressed in his House color graduation robes, primed to look his very best. Peter too even looked quite handsome in his robes, but Sirius as usual had everything untucked and left his hair mussed. It suited him.

I know you didn't have a chance to get your things together this morning, Peter started quietly, leaning across the table slightly. so I packed everything into a trunk I borrowed. Thought you would want this, though. You left it on your night stand earlier.

Remus gladly took his watch, smiling as he read the inscription over once more. _Marauders Forever, Let Us Roam As One_.

Always together. James said, his voice catching in his throat. His hands were clenched on his robes, bunching the neatly pressed fabric. Remus shoved them away, and did his best to smile.

James, please. he said quietly as the Professors started to file in. I'm not going anywhere.At least you'll know the time now. Peter said, trying to make things a little more cheerful despite the grim reality. Just don't... Lose track of us, okay Remus? Don't forget-He told you Pete, he's not going anywhere. Sirius interrupted, chewing on the corner of his lip. None of them believed it, none of them wanted to accept what was happening.

The Great Hall was quite noisy for some time as a few stragglers were brought into the Hall. Remus looked around in a blur, not hearing as his friends tried to talk to him. The few Housemates who tried to ask where he had been were ignored as if mute.

Four tables, a brick of multicolored witches and wizards, sat all around Remus. The cobalt Ravenclaws idly discussing current events and exams, the sunflower-bright Hufflepuffs whispering of new attacks, his own scarlet Gryffindors chatting away about anything at all... And there, the ever snakelike Slytherins, almost petrified in place. There was no casual talk, no crying girls wishing for another year of Hogwarts, no hushed talk of the Dark Rise. There was no meaning in their graduation, as nearly the entire House was moving not into society, but into the darkest army of all. It was no joyous occasion for most of them.

Lily caught his eyes, and she tipped her hat and giggled. Even now she was so determined to remain optimistic, even knowing what was happening so soon. She mouthed something to him, and he motioned something in return.

Just smile! she whispered, clear as day when he concentrated in her direction. With a nod, Remus donned the best grin he could manage and weakly waved goodbye to her as he turned away.

The Professors were there now, having slipped in quietly while he was gazing around the Hall. Almost all of them looked flustered, struggling to smile back to their students, some not even bothering. Remus had a sick feeling that he was the cause.

Dumbledore stood up, bowed his head to the students and motioned for them to settle. The Graduation Ceremony will begin shortly, and I would thus like to ask the following to follow me.

He named the Head Boy and Girl, several of the better students and rounded Hogwarts favorites of his class, and at the very end, Dumbledore nodded to Remus himself. Mr. Lupin, hurry please. he said again with a gentle indication of to the side door the other graduates were filing into. They must know what was going on, because none looked surprised to hear their names called.

Moony, what's up? They revoking your diploma? Peter joked, smiling as his friend walked away.

was the muttered reply that wasn't heard.

Seven students, he counted, stood in a small horseshoe, Dumbledore standing tall behind them. They all stared as he entered, their faces rather blank, impossible to read. What was going on?

'lo Remus. one of the boys said, a Ravenclaw he had hardly ever spoken to before. His two Housemates nodded their welcome, and a Hufflepuff girl held out her hand.

It's an honor, you know. she said as he shook her hand, still confused.

We'll find a way to fix all of this. the Head Boy, Zachary, said with a firm nod. His eyebrows were furrowed together, and he was chewing on the left corner of his thin lips in thought. I'll be personally damned, with all due respect, sir, if they allow this to continue. This is _not_ what this school stands for.

Was he just called sir? He looked to Dumbledore, puzzled, and then it hit him.

It hit him much harder than he had ever been hit in his life, and his breath refused to come. Something triggered deep within himself, and for a moment, he thought he had just died.

_You're still awake? For the love of- Damn, Remus, just go to bed. he said, rolling his eyes. It's been three hours since I said goodnight, I'll have you know.Why are you still awake then?_

Nothing could stop the inquisitive little boy, Romolus thought as he chuckled. He had been defeated by a small boy. Same as you, Remus, just a little preoccupied.What will happen, Rom, what will happen if this doesn't work out and they catch me? Tears were rolling down his deathly white face, freezing in the cold air. He tried to wipe them away, but they kept coming. He was shaking now, though it wasn't from the temperature, he was used to that. Temperature changed; fear didn't.

It's not going to happen, so stop your blubbering.Rom... They'll kill me if everyone finds out, you know it! He jumped up, eyes wide and afraid. If I stay in hiding, they'll never... They'll never...You can't hide from life, little brother. This isn't something you can just run away from until you're safe for a few days, a few weeks. Life is always chasing, do you understand that? There comes a point where you have to stop being afraid and just stand firm and accept it once it catches up, let it happen. If you're afraid of being caught, for everyone knowing who you are, then there's just no point anymore then. In the end, Remus, you have to stand up for yourself, whatever way you are, and just stop escaping.

  
Mr. Lupin, come now... Mr. Lupin, the Ceremony, up you get, we've already started...

Dumbledore's shimmering eyes faded into his view, and Remus nearly knocked heads with the old wizard as he shot upright.

Calm _down_, Mr. Lupin, there's nothing to be scared of here.I know that, Remus mumbled, his head spinning still. I know that _now_, anyway. They know?

The Headmaster nodded, and smiled. We had to inform them, it's their right to know why their Ceremony was changed, and I was sure they would take it as they did. Yes, they were scared, but you saw how they truly feel. There isn't a one among them that would find the hate in themselves to fear you. Remus, they respect you for this. he said gently, his voice quite soothing. Remus nodded, and slowly stood himself up.

Why am I back here, if you told them before?I didn't want a disturbance.What kind of-Albus, they're- a short, bulldog-faced assistant professor popped her head through the gigantic black curtains nearby, and frowned. Albus, we don't have much time. she said curtly.

Just continue the Ceremony as planned, I'll work this out here. The woman disappeared, not after glaring at Remus for being such an interruption to the orderly, timeless tradition.

So what do I do now, just wait for my name to be called and-Don't get ahead of yourself, Mr. Lupin. he interrupted, still smiling. No matter what the situation was, nor how grim the outcome may turn, Dumbledore always found a way to smile. The Ceremony started a little bit ago, and our Head Boy and Head Girl already addressed your class, as well as the student leaders. They've started to call for the students to receive diplomas, administered by their Head of House. Under most circumstances, I would go out and give a lengthy speech, but I feel that this is not necessary. There will be too much commotion soon enough, so for now, I ask that you wait here and try to prepare yourself. I'm sure you know what will come once you're called... I've arranged for you to go last to save the Ceremony for the other students, and since you're back here, you may go and watch your friends if you wish. There's a small opening to the left side you can peer through. he explained, extending his hand to the far end of the dark backside of the stage.

The minutes passed as the names were rattled on. All his classmates who he had spent so much time with passed before him, smiling and bowing as they received certificate of their graduation. Professors smiled, congratulated the; girls cried and wished for more time to spend together in school; others looks scared of adult life that has so abruptly come crashing into them. He saw James, Sirius, Peter, all of them laughing together as they still played childish pranks as the names rattled off one by one. Soon enough, even they waltzed on stage (Sirius literally waltzing to an unheard ballad) and accepted their new responsibility. Parents had been allowed into the Hall, filling the back of the magnificent room, huddled together and bursting with emotion as their children became adults. Rows upon rows of pointed hats and proudly displayed old House colors created a dizzying background for Remus' vision.

Remus watched, though he couldn't focus. Time seemed to move in some sort of drunken slur, twisting and wobbling this way and that, trying to find a steady pace. Moments passed before him in double-time, blurring horribly, and others carried on in the slowest of drawl. All of his thoughts centered on the moment, though even as he was living it, he thought in the wrong tense.

So many years he had longed for this moment, and feared it at all the same. He would be unveiled in moments, uncovered for the creature he was every month, he would be permanently shunned from the community, outcast more sharply than ever before. That was assuming he walked safely away from the school with the assurance of his life intact, even. He shivered; there would be no more running, but that single fear was so difficult to dislodge from his mind, so greatly and long it had impacted him.

Sharp, almost thunderous clapping snapped him back to reality, and time shifted back into normal lapse. Dumbledore appeared in his sliver of view, and waited as the final few students and parents took their seats. He cleared his throat, stroked his beard, and took in a long breath.

Students, parents, this is the most joyous of occasions, an endless tradition that Hogwarts has been proud to host for generations of bright, young, willing minds.Oh, Lord, it's only a minute away.'

...and our great school will continue to host all those who are eager to transform themselves into future leaders of our communities.

James, Sirius, Peter, Lily... He could see all of them, smiling somewhat as they looked around, craning their necks to find their missing friend. James looked worried among them, perhaps he thought he has already been taken by the Ministry?

Such leaders emerge in the most unlikely of places, brilliant minds leaping from what was thought to be nothing, innovative ideas shattering the common view, philosophies guiding us through war and peace alike.

War, how soon it would come, he thought. Everybody in the Hall understood his hidden meaning, and many turned solemn at the mention.

Remus fidgeted, and remembered his cord. He untucked it from underneath his robe collar, and allowed it to hang free over him, glittering for all to see soon enough. His calloused fingers played with the silky tassel for comfort, pinching at the miniscule gems and decorative threads of gold.

But there are those who are prosecuted for who they are, for what they have done, and for what they believe. These radicals shape our very existence, changing the world as they pass through history, no matter how greatly they impact that endless stream. So many are shunned, hated by their own world, only to be hailed as the greats generations later as we reach a new level of understanding. They are loved for what they were once hated for, and raised high as magnificent heroes. This school was founded by such men, such men once thought to be ambitious or shrewd fools, and today they are the mightiest of all legends. Godric Gryffindor himself was murdered by his own loving community because he was seen as a threat to our existence, our secret life away from the rest who inhabit this world.

Remus knew what Dumbledore was leading to, and those few choice students did as well, and all sat, eyes affixed on their Headmaster as he carried on. Many of the parents and students alike were confused, but waited patiently as he continued.

Today, we share a loving bond with each other, a kinship that will be tried and tested as dark times approach. But we must hold fast, and embrace those radical leaders, those individuals who will be beaten down and rise yet again to carry us forward! he said, his voice now booming in a very sincere plead. The time has come where we must look inside ourselves, and truly discover the maturity and good grace we have fought to learn these past years, by loving students. Become the leader, and defy what is seen by everyone else; carry those who are righteous with you, and triumph over what may bring you down at first. Life is always a struggle, a struggle far greater than the tests here in this school, but life will always be pushed forward by the strong men and women who dare to challenge life itself.

Dumbledore looked out, surveying his awed crowd, and Remus guessed he was now smiling. His shoulders shifted, lightened, and he relaxed. My loving friends, my dearest students and old peers, much awaits us in life, that I can promise you. So many hardships will follow, and the very future lies within each of your hands; choose you allies wisely, and most importantly, you must accept those who will guide you through these shadowy times. It is your choice, my friends.

He stepped back, and turned. Scattered claps broke throughout the Great Hall, but most were too stunned to react. He had said so much, and little of it made enough sense to most.

The Marauders went silent, and hung their heads. They knew what was next.

Dumbledore faced Remus, and nodded very slowly, his eyes closing in respect and wish of good fortune. With a final breath to calm himself, Remus went to face exactly what he had been longing for all these years, and meet his most wretched fear.

Dumbledore placed a hand on his shoulder for a moment, and eased him to the great oak podium. The entire congregation stared at him, wondering why he was brought out. He felt a squeeze on his arm, and was nudged to look to the side doors. Remus had to contain himself from gasping on two accounts.

They shouldn't have... he whispered as what seemed to be the entire Underground quietly gathered in the far corner. Rhint, Caleb, the twins... Romolus. He would see this day, too, his efforts had not gone to a waste. So many of them, hundreds, worked into that small corner, battered and tired but proud beyond all comprehension. Their savior, their friend, their family had proven all odds to be false. Nobody would forget this day, they were all sure of it.

Romolus met his eyes, and they both couldn't help but smile. The little brother had finally proven his might. Nothing was in vain; all their hardships and tremendous obstacles meant nothing now. And Rhint, there she was, grinning with all her wonderful heart, delighted to see one of them do what she had wanted. The boys jumped up and down together, waving their arms, trying very hard not to just yell out their love for their second Daddy.

Caleb was not as loving in gaze, as he indicated his head to the other gathering. At least a dozen Ministry officials stood mere feet away from the aisle leading between the tables, so close to the werewolves they despised. Remus recognized many of them, and his heart fluttered. This was truly real.

He took a breath, closed his eyes, but they were still there in front of him. It was time, he decided, to explain the truth to everyone, the real truth of the matter. The outcome was blurry, grim for the most part in his mind, but he was resolute. So long had he kept his life a secret, and so long had they all been sheltered from more horrible truths. There would be no lies, no excuses, no gentle omissions of terrible details.

So very long they had all waited for this day to arrive, wanting or shunning it all the same.


End file.
